Author Topic: More and more funnies.. vol: something...  (Read 543340 times)

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Offline SARgirl

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #50 on: September 06, 2009, 17:38:15 »
LOL... very funny GAP.


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Kosovo
Quote
Our boys in uniform can hold a tune that rivals the Beach Boys! Authentic video of Norwegian soldiers in Kosovo. Music from the Beach Boys song "Kokomo"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sD7UREH_rJI

Enjoy!  ;D

Edited to add:
Warning- there is, that I noticed, one bad word said in the video.

 
« Last Edit: September 07, 2009, 13:08:54 by egy sárvédő »
That Others May Live!
"Every survival kit should include a sense of humor."  ~ Author Unknown ~

Offline Eye In The Sky

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #51 on: September 12, 2009, 10:28:55 »
INVOLUNTARY MUSCULAR CONTRACTION

A professor at MEMORIAL UNIVERSITY OF NEWFOUNDLAND, was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students.

Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, 'Do you know what your a$$hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

She replied, 'Probably moose hunting with his buddies.'
"Stop telling everyone I'm an *******; I like to see the look on their face when they realize it for themselves..."

Online NavyPhoenix

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #52 on: September 12, 2009, 12:33:02 »
 :rofl:

Offline Technoviking

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #53 on: September 12, 2009, 14:34:50 »
Absolutely no offence.  ???

Man, if the jokes section of the site has to be explained, maybe you really do have a German sense of humour......   ::)
Germans have a very well-developed sense of humour.  And I think that this following joke points it out very well: ;D

An English couple have a child. After the birth, medical tests reveal that the child is normal, apart from the fact that it is German. This, however, should not be a problem. There is nothing to worry about. As the child grows older, it dresses in lederhosen and has a pudding bowl haircut, but all its basic functions develop normally. It can walk, eat, sleep, read and so on, but for some reason the German child never speaks. The concerned parents take it to the doctor, who reassures them that as the German child is perfectly developed in all other areas, there is nothing to worry about and that he is sure the speech faculty will eventually blossom. Years pass. The German child enters its teens, and still it is not speaking, though in all other respects it is fully functional. The German child's mother is especially distressed by this, but attempts to conceal her sadness. One day she makes the German child, who is now 17 years old and still silent, a bowl of tomato soup, and takes it through to him in the parlour where he is listening to a wind-up gramophone record player. Soon, the German child appears in the kitchen and suddenly declares, "Mother. This soup is a little tepid." The German child's mother is astonished. "All these years," she exclaims, "we assumed you could not speak. And yet all along it appears you could. Why? Why did you never say anything before?" "Because, mother," answers the German child, "up until now, everything has been satisfactory."

Ja.  Das ist lustig!
« Last Edit: September 12, 2009, 14:41:04 by Midnight Rambler »
So, there I was....

Offline Technoviking

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #54 on: September 12, 2009, 14:39:14 »
A man jumps out of a plane for the first time. At 3,000m he tries to undo his parachute, but the cord fails. At 2,000m he tries to open the emergency chute but that doesn't work either. At 1,000m he bumps into a man wearing blue overalls, carrying a spanner. "Can you repair parachutes?" asks the first man. "'Fraid not," says the other. "I only do boilers."
Das ist lustiger
So, there I was....

Offline Technoviking

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #55 on: September 12, 2009, 14:40:45 »
Three priests hold a meeting to discuss where life begins. The evangelical priest says, "No question about it, life begins when the child is born." "No, no," says the Catholic priest, "it all starts when the sperm meets the egg." "You're both wrong," says the Rabbi. "Life begins when the children have left home and the dog is dead."

Das ist am lustigsten
;D
So, there I was....

Offline Technoviking

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #56 on: September 12, 2009, 14:47:49 »
And who could forget THIS classic:
Der Ehemann findet seine Frau mit dem Arzt im Bett. Der Arzt versucht zu erklären: "Ich wollte nur das Fieber messen!"
Der Mann holt seelenruhig sein Gewehr aus dem Schrank und meint: "Jetzt ziehen Sie ihn ganz langsam raus und wenn keine Zahlen draufstehen, dann Gnade Ihnen Gott!"


:rofl:

(A man comes home to find his wife in bed with the doctor.  The doctor declares that he's just checking her temperature.  The man calmly goes to his closet and pulls out his rifle and says, "Now take it out, nice and slow, and if there are no numbers on it, may God have mercy on you.")

So, there I was....

Online mariomike

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #57 on: September 12, 2009, 14:56:00 »
A man jumps out of a plane for the first time. At 3,000m he tries to undo his parachute, but the cord fails. At 2,000m he tries to open the emergency chute but that doesn't work either. At 1,000m he bumps into a man wearing blue overalls, carrying a spanner. "Can you repair parachutes?" asks the first man. "'Fraid not," says the other. "I only do boilers."
Das ist lustiger

Here's an old one:
"What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant."
Get on the bus. Take a ride with us.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2lSGnPl-ww

Offline Larkvall

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #58 on: September 15, 2009, 10:55:45 »
Breaking News

World condemns preemptive use of Hillary against Pakistan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uH8owcMHc34

Offline Eye In The Sky

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #59 on: September 22, 2009, 11:44:06 »
Why Parents Drink


A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.


Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad, she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so

Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can

get to know your grandchildren.

Love,

Your Son John 


PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.  I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.

Call me when it's safe to come home.
"Stop telling everyone I'm an *******; I like to see the look on their face when they realize it for themselves..."

Offline SARgirl

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #60 on: September 22, 2009, 13:23:25 »
Eye In The Sky, that's a really good one... I hadn't heard this one before, very good, thank you for sharing.
That Others May Live!
"Every survival kit should include a sense of humor."  ~ Author Unknown ~

Offline PMedMoe

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #61 on: September 24, 2009, 15:08:33 »


 ;D
"A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving".
~ Lao Tzu~

Offline CEEBEE501

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #62 on: September 24, 2009, 15:20:20 »






« Last Edit: September 24, 2009, 15:40:18 by CEEBEE501 »
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Offline GAP

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #63 on: September 24, 2009, 15:33:32 »
Divorce Cakes
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I´m not so sure about the universe

Offline SARgirl

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #64 on: September 25, 2009, 15:03:38 »
Quote
« Reply #61 on: Yesterday at 15:08:33 »
Quote
« Reply #62 on: Yesterday at 15:20:20 »
Moe and CEEBEE501, Great posts, very funny, gave me a laugh... I really needed to smile today, thank you. :)

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Quote
« Reply #63 on: Yesterday at 15:33:32 »
Wow GAP... Divorce Cakes... hmmm... interesting; gave me a chuckle simply because I had never seen or heard of such cakes before.  However, I do remember going into a card shop some years ago and while looking through the cards I came across a couple of cards to give to someone who had been divorced; never expected to see such cards, but I guess they have cards... and now cakes, for just about everything these days.
That Others May Live!
"Every survival kit should include a sense of humor."  ~ Author Unknown ~

Offline Technoviking

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #65 on: September 25, 2009, 16:00:13 »
Where's the divorce cakes with dude taking her out to the garbage, beheading her, etc?


So, there I was....

Offline CEEBEE501

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #66 on: September 25, 2009, 19:14:54 »
« Last Edit: September 25, 2009, 19:20:33 by CEEBEE501 »
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Online NavyPhoenix

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #67 on: September 25, 2009, 19:29:55 »
Now that one is just wrong on so many levels.

Offline CEEBEE501

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #68 on: September 29, 2009, 11:59:59 »
Gimmie My Timmies And no One Gets Hurt

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Offline PMedMoe

    is now a flat-faced civvy.... :).

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #69 on: September 30, 2009, 12:03:13 »
If your wedding was so camouflaged that only three guests found it.......

.......you might be a red neck!



Although, I have to give the bridesmaids credit for having matching dresses compared to the guys' outfits.   ::)
"A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving".
~ Lao Tzu~

Offline Loachman

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #70 on: September 30, 2009, 12:41:25 »
A new line for CP Gear, perhaps?

Offline CEEBEE501

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #71 on: October 08, 2009, 23:52:51 »


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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #72 on: October 09, 2009, 07:48:13 »
CEEBEEE501,

You already posted that photo in this thread, reply # 12
Quote from: Pipe *General Call*
"Tanning Stations on the flight deck"


Remember, this site is unofficial and privately owned. The site benefits from the presence of current members willing to answer questions.

Offline CEEBEE501

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #73 on: October 09, 2009, 12:17:26 »
Same picture different caption tho :D
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Offline JBoyd

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #74 on: October 11, 2009, 03:31:19 »
wife showed me this today... after I bought some girl guide cookies
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." -- Albert Einstein
"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason why so few engage in it." -- Henry Ford

Live your life in such a way, that when you wake up and your feet hit the floor, the Devil says "S*** It's awake!"

Nill illigitimi carborundum