Author Topic: What were they thinking?.....Dumb criminals.......add your dumb criminal story  (Read 88151 times)

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Offline GAP

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Report: Groom kills 3 guest in accidental shooting
Article Link

Sun Aug 8, 9:17 AM

By The Associated Press
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ANKARA, Turkey - The state-run news agency says a groom has killed his father and two aunts after opening fire into the air with an automatic weapon to celebrate his wedding.

The Anatolia news agency says eight other relatives were injured during Sunday's celebration in the southeastern province of Gaziantep.

It says the groom lost control of the weapon and accidentally aimed at guests. He was arrested.

It is tradition in Turkey to shoot into the air to celebrate weddings, circumcisions or sports victories. Turkey has failed to curb the practice despite imposing harsher punishments to cut down on stray bullet accidents.

Police in Gaziantep were not available for comment.
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Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I´m not so sure about the universe

Offline GAP

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Police call 'Ma' on dropped cellphone, ID suspect
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Wed Aug 18, 9:17 PM

By The Associated Press
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ATHENS, Ga. - Thanks a lot, Mom.

Police seeking a man accused of breaking into an elementary school say they identified the suspect by calling "Ma" from the contact list of a cellphone he dropped as he fled.

A police report says officers responding to an alarm at an elementary school in Athens in northeast Georgia arrived in time Monday to see a man running through the cafeteria and out the back door.

Police failed to catch the man, but say he dropped his cellphone as he ran.

According to the report, officers picked up the phone, searched the contact list and called a number marked "Ma." They say a woman who answered gave them her son's name.

The suspect wasn't immediately identified.
More on link
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I´m not so sure about the universe

Offline Sapplicant

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Found this gem after checking my e-mail. I thought it was cute. People like this make me feel good about my life ;D

http://news.ca.msn.com/world/cp-article.aspx?cp-documentid=25350187
7 Blunders of the World, Mohandas Ghandi:
-Wealth without work
-Pleasure without conscience
-Knowledge without character
-Commerce without morality
-Science without humanity
-Worship without sacrifice
-Politics without principle

8th Blunder of the World, Arun Ghandi:
-Rights without responsibilities

Offline GAP

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Million-to-one shot: Man tries to exchange fake $1 million bills at Emirates' Central Bank
By: The Associated Press Posted: 29/08/2010
http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/million-to-one-shot-man-tries-to-exchange-fake-1-million-bills-at-emirates-central-bank-101747278.html

ABU DHABI, United Arab Emirates - Can you break a $1 million?

Not a chance. But the story is rich in audacity.

A man from the Ivory Coast is in police custody in Abu Dhabi after allegedly persuading a woman to try to exchange two phoney $1 million bills at the UAE's Central Bank.

Police say the suspect promised the woman a 30 per cent cut after the bills were traded — presumably for U.S. bills or UAE dirham. The suspect was identified in press reports Sunday only by the initials A.B.

The phoney notes feature the $1 portrait of George Washington and are mostly black and white on the front.

The National newspaper quotes Col. Rashid Mohammed Bursheed, the head of the organized crime unit, as saying the suspect claims he thought the bills were real
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I´m not so sure about the universe

Offline EpicBeardedMan

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When I was chasing someone for theft in an LCBO (Soon as he passes all points of sale it shows intent for theft, he doesn't have to leave the store) he turned around and saw me coming...but in the vestibule instead of going outside he ran back into the store and we chased him around the store for 5 minutes before finally grounding him and arresting him lol. I don't know what he was thinking he was going to do.
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Offline kkwd

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Catch this guy's next show at the county jail. At those shows the hecklers punch the comics out.

Article link

Quote
Police: 3 Shot When Comic Opens Fire In Bar
Man, 2 Women Shot In Legs In Marion Bar

MARION, Ind. -- Three people were shot when a stand-up comedian opened fire in a crowded Marion sports bar early Saturday, police said.

Witnesses told police that Rodney Carter, 44, walked up to another man at Yeakle's Sports Bar at 3022 S. Washington St. just after 2 a.m. and asked him to repeat something he'd said.

Police said Carter then pulled out a gun and fired several shots at the man's legs, hitting him three times. Two women were also hit in the leg by stray bullets, police said.

Carter had performed at the bar before, but not Friday night. Police said the man who was shot had seen Carter's act before, although police said they didn't know the motive for the shooting.

Carter ran from the bar after the shooting, police said. Investigators released a picture of Carter on Saturday, but said his hair has now been grown out.

All three victims were treated and released from Marion General Hospital.
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Offline PMedMoe

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2 arrested in Australia after wrestling python outside McDonald's; snake stolen from pet shop

MELBOURNE, Australia - Two men were arrested after bewildered diners at a McDonald's spotted them wrestling a 5-foot (1.5 metre) python named Boris in the restaurant parking lot, police said Thursday.

Victoria state police say the men stole the 8-year-old black-headed python and a lizard from a pet shop on Wednesday. They then brought the snake to the McDonald's parking lot, where they began wrestling with it in front of puzzled customers, police said.

The men, aged 22 and 24, were arrested and charged with burglary and theft. Police didn't release their names.

"In all honesty, it's just a case of dumb and dumber," Detective Sgt. Andrew Beams told Australian Broadcasting Corp. "Anyone who gets out there with a one-and-a-half meter python in a McDonald's car park — they're pretty dumb."

More at link

Ummm, yep, I'd think so.......   ;D
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Offline PMedMoe

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Robbery getaway car locked

It may have been the perfect robbery for Calgarian David William Welychka but for one minor oversight -- he forgot to leave his getaway car unlocked.

Welychka was sentenced to three years Thursday for robbing a southeast Husky station of $800 on Dec. 4, 2007.

Police were able to easily track Welychka to his home after witnesses got his licence number while he searched, in a panic, to find something to smash his way into his getaway vehicle.

Welychka, 54, had locked his keys in his car before entering the Husky and robbing the clerk at knifepoint.

When he went to make his escape and discovered his error he returned to the store to ask for a hammer before exiting again and grabbing a fire extinguisher from near the gas pumps.

He used the device to smash his driver's side window.

Police later found the vehicle parked on the street outside Welychka's home, the extinguisher on the seat inside amid shards of broken glass.

More at link

 :rofl:
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Offline WR

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Not even sure what to say...check the link, she is a beauty

http://current.com/1s4bb4c


Meet Melissa Lee Williams. The West Virginia woman, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct at a motor inn.

The October 22 incident is detailed in an amusing/gross Jackson County Sheriff’s Department report excerpted here.

According to investigators, Williams--who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn--showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my *****.” At this point, Williams, pictured in the mug shot at right, “commenced to undress herself,” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger.

While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my ***** or I’m going to cut your ******* throat.”

When Deputy Mellinger arrived on the scene he observed Williams--who, like the two men, appeared to be intoxicated--nude from the waist down. After pocketing a knife that was on the coffee table in front of Williams, Mellinger arrested her for domestic assault and brandishing a deadly weapon.

Williams, who was released from jail after posting $3000 bond, is next due in Jackson County Magistrate Court on February 16.


Offline PMedMoe

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WR, I couldn't get your link to open, but found this one:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/west-virginia/woman-utters-line-never-previously-recorded-police-report

Yep, she's a real looker...........if you're blind.   ;D
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Offline CorporalMajor

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Not even sure what to say...check the link, she is a beauty

http://current.com/1s4bb4c


Meet Melissa Lee Williams. The West Virginia woman, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct at a motor inn.

The October 22 incident is detailed in an amusing/gross Jackson County Sheriff’s Department report excerpted here.

According to investigators, Williams--who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn--showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my *****.” At this point, Williams, pictured in the mug shot at right, “commenced to undress herself,” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger.

While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my ***** or I’m going to cut your ******* throat.”

When Deputy Mellinger arrived on the scene he observed Williams--who, like the two men, appeared to be intoxicated--nude from the waist down. After pocketing a knife that was on the coffee table in front of Williams, Mellinger arrested her for domestic assault and brandishing a deadly weapon.

Williams, who was released from jail after posting $3000 bond, is next due in Jackson County Magistrate Court on February 16.

I really shouldn't have looked at her mug ..makes it even worse.........  :-X
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Offline kkwd

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This jewel will have a court date that will be very entertaining.

Article link

Quote
Police: Drug Dealer Solicited Prosecutor By Mistake Man Arrested On Drug Charges

MARTINSVILLE, Ind. -- A Martinsville man faces drug charges after police said he meant to text a customer but ended up negotiating a buy with the Morgan County Prosecutor's Office.

Deputy Prosecutor Courtney Swank said she was surprised to get several text messages on a new office cell phone meant to handle domestic violence calls.

The first message read, "Roxy twenties 15," followed by another a few days later that said, "hey buddy just wonderin if u needed any fortys," officials said.

"Roxys are oxycodone, 20 would be the size and $15 each," Chief Deputy Prosecutor Bob Cline told 6News' Tanya Spencer.

Swank contacted Martinsville police and she and a detective played along, texting back and forth with the person.

Eventually, Swank called the number and asked the man his name. Not only did he tell her his name -- Shawn Means, 26 -- he spelled it for her, and set up a buy, police said.

Officers pulled Means over shortly before the scheduled buy after they said they spotted an unrestrained child standing in the back seat.

According to the probable cause affidavit, Means was also intoxicated, and was passing in and out of consciousness while talking to officers.

Police said they found methadone, oxycodone and a pill cutter and grinder on Means. His cell phone is now being examined for evidence.

"Sometimes things snowball," Cline said. "I did it myself when I was a police officer. I started off with an A misdemeanor possession of marijuana case and before the end of the
night ended up with about 50 arrests that were A felonies. So it can certainly happen."

Means is scheduled for an initial court appearance Friday.
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Offline kratz

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This time of year is rife with Top 10 lists. Here is Chatham police's "dumbest criminal" for 2010:

Quote
Police pick "dumbest criminal" of 2010
680News staff Dec 29, 2010 16:10:55 PM
CHATHAM, Ont. - Police in Chatham have unveiled their "dumbest criminal of the year."

The winner put in a call to police less than a week after three men were released with court dates following a break and enter.

He left a voice message complaining that media information about the crime was inaccurate, identifying himself and giving details about the break and enter, therefore providing a recorded confession.

The honourable mention goes to a 17 year old boy who called 911 because his father broke his bong after he was caught smoking marijuana.

The young man was cautioned about the use of 911 ... and smoking pot. 
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Offline George Wallace

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Reproduced under the Fair Dealings provisions of the Copyright Act.

US man with warrants gives false name during traffic stop - of guy who was also wanted

07/01/2011 1:31:00 PM
The Associated Press

LINK

GREAT FALLS, Mont. - Authorities say a man who had three outstanding warrants for his arrest gave officers a false name during a traffic stop - but ended up in custody anyway because that man was also wanted.


Court records say that during a traffic stop Monday in Great Falls, Jonothan Ray Gonsalez, of Box Elder, told police that his name was Timothy Michael Koop Jr.

The officer learned a man by that name was wanted in Hill County and arrested him.

Police say a search of Gonsalez after his arrest turned up half a gram of methamphetamine in his jacket pocket and he was charged with criminal possession of dangerous drugs.

The Great Falls Tribune reports Gonsalez gave his real name on Tuesday, so a charge of issuing a false report to law enforcement was added.

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Offline Sierra Kilo

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that happens more often than one would think!

It's just as funny when somebody gives a fake name of a friend (who is wanted) when the original person doesn't even have any warrants...  but ends up in custody due to obstruction, among other things.

Offline GAP

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Intoxicated burglar can’t find his way out of home and calls police for help
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Elspeth Lodge  January 10, 2011 – 6:17 pm

A Delaware man was arrested when he called 911, after he broke into a home and couldn’t find his way out again, Wilmington’s News Journal reports.

Police say the man, identified as John Finch, wandered around the house for three days last week after entering the dwelling via a back-window.

Mr. Finch helped himself to drinks from the liquor cabinet and after consuming two bottles of whiskey and several of gin, he was too intoxicated to find his way out of the house — all the doors were dead bolted and he couldn’t get back out the window he had entered through.

Mr. Finch then made his call to 911 and when officers arrived they tried to get Mr. Finch too let himself out of the door. Officer Michael Bingnear, who responded to the call, told the News Journal:

    “He said, ‘I can’t. It’s locked.’ At that point, we were getting frustrated with him. He was sitting on the couch as we were telling him to unlock the back door. It took us about 20 minutes to get in, with him repeating himself.”

Finally, officers broke open the door and the burglar was free. Sort of. Mr. Finch will face charges over the break-in as well as charges over a break-in at the same residence in April.

Despite the hassle, police are grateful for Mr. Finch’s unusual 911 call.

    “In all my 12 years on the force, it’s not something that’s a usual occurrence. If it were, it would make our job a lot easier,” an officer told the News Journal.


Read more: http://news.nationalpost.com/2011/01/10/intoxicated-burglar-cant-find-his-way-out-of-home-and-calls-police-for-help/#ixzz1AgvjLEvm

end
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I´m not so sure about the universe

Offline Sapplicant

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7 Blunders of the World, Mohandas Ghandi:
-Wealth without work
-Pleasure without conscience
-Knowledge without character
-Commerce without morality
-Science without humanity
-Worship without sacrifice
-Politics without principle

8th Blunder of the World, Arun Ghandi:
-Rights without responsibilities

Offline Journeyman

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First nominee for 2011's Darwin Award.
Brandishing a fake gun against the police -- Darwin Award, or suicide by cop?
Sadly amazed at people cheering on the spread of kakistocracy.   :not-again:

Offline PMedMoe

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suicide by cop?

That's what I was thinking. 
"A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving".
~ Lao Tzu~

Offline GAP

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Not a criminal, but he does qualify as dumb...........

Quebec man shoots self in face
By Doug Hempstead, QMI Agency 
Article Link
   
OTTAWA - A 57-year-old Outaouais, Que., man is in hospital after shooting himself in the face while cleaning his hunting rifle Monday morning.

The man's 28-year-old stepdaughter was in the apartment above the garage of a home in the Notre-Dame-de-la-Salette area when she heard a noise around 9:30 a.m.

The man was still conscious when she found him in the garage.

He was transported to the Hull hospital with serious injuries to his face, but his life is not in danger, according to police.

The police investigation determined it was an accidental discharge. The man had last used the rifle in December and had stored it while still loaded.
More on link
 
« Last Edit: January 12, 2011, 10:11:33 by GAP »
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I´m not so sure about the universe

Offline kkwd

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This is just dead wrong.

Article link

Quote
Man Accused Of Having Sex With Corpse
Woman Found Dead In Her Apartment

WASHINGTON, Ind. -- An Ohio man accused of having sex with a corpse told investigators he didn't at first realize the woman was dead.

Richard Elwood Sanden, 55, of Geneva, Ohio, was being held on $500,000 bond Wednesday in the Daviess County Jail in Washington, on charges that include abuse of a corpse and possession of marijuana.

The Washington Times-Herald reported that police arrested Sanden on Saturday night after they were called to the dead woman's apartment.

The newspaper reported that Sanden told police he was having sex with the 48-year-old woman whom he had known for a few months when he realized she wasn't breathing. He told police he administered CPR and called an ambulance.

The woman's cause of death remains under investigation.
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Offline kkwd

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More regarding my last post.

Article link

Quote
Cops: Man taped sex act with dead woman

WASHINGTON, Ind. (WTHI) - More charges filed in a strange southern Indiana case involving an Ohio man accused of having sex with a dead woman.

Richard Sanden, 55, of Geneva, Ohio was formally charged in connection with the bizarre case involving a 48-year-old woman in Washington, Ind.

Sanden's initial hearing was held in Daviess County Superior Court.

Richard Sanden claims he and a 48-year-old Washington woman spent the day having sex, drinking and doing drugs before she died.

Authorities believe things happened much differently.

Now, Sanden faces eight charges including rape, criminal deviate conduct and abuse of a corpse for having sex with the woman after her death.

"Through the investigation, with the officers working the case, they've come up with some more information and in cooperation with the prosecutor he's decided there are other charges to be filed," said Washington Police Chief Tim Guy.

While authorities still aren't willing to share very much information on this case, the court documents are providing some disturbing details.

The probable cause affidavit claims that Sanden video taped his actions with the woman and that even though she appeared to be dead and unresponsive he continued to abuse her.

Sanden told investigators he did not realize the woman had died and when he did he called for help.

Police say that even though Sanden has appeared in court their investigation is still on-going.

"At the present time they're following up and trying to make sure everything is complete and they've gone through everything thoroughly," said Guy.

In the meantime, Sanden is in the Daviess County Jail and set for trial on May 17th.

Sanden says he is a retired ironworker.

He's being held on $500,000 bond.
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Offline nuclearzombies

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Something I witnessed myself. I'm not so sure it's so much a stupid criminal, rather it was criminally stupid.

So I'm on the bus at 0600 to get to work, we turn a corner and feel a small bump.... the bus driver pulls over right away and starts freaking out... "HOW THE HELL DO YOU RUN INTO A BUS!!! IT'S A GIANT WHITE BOX?!?!?!"
So we passengers pile off the bus, to see a small hatchback stuck to the back of the bus. The person driving the car got out  - with a curling iron in one hand,  cell phone in the other hand and still talking!! When the police showed up, she got mad at them and lied about the curling iron/cell phone thing. The police were suitably amused, and awarded her a free ride to jail and a comlimentary impound for her vehicle, which I found out later from the cops was a 5 speed. And she actually tried to fight it in court, saying all the passengers on the bus were lying and conspiring to screw her over.... I still chuckle out loud thinking about it....
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Offline GAP

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Burglars snort cremated man’s ashes
By JANE SUTTON, Reuters
Article Link

MIAMI - Burglars snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs in the mistaken belief that they had stolen illegal drugs, Florida sheriff’s deputies said Wednesday.

The ashes were taken from a woman’s home in the central Florida town of Silver Springs Shores on Dec. 15. The thieves took an urn containing the ashes of her father and another container with the ashes of her two Great Danes, along with electronic equipment and jewelry, the Marion County Sheriff’s Office said.

Investigators learned what happened to the ashes after they arrested five teens in connection with another burglary attempt at a nearby home last week.

“The suspects mistook the ashes for either cocaine or heroin. It was soon discovered that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine,” the sheriff’s report said.

Once they realized their error, the suspects discussed returning the remaining ashes but threw them in a lake instead because they thought their fingerprints were on the containers, sheriff’s spokesman Judge Cochran said.

Police divers were trying to recover the ashes. The suspects were jailed on numerous burglary and other charges.
end
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I´m not so sure about the universe

Offline kratz

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Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction:

Ottawa Citizen


Quote
Burglars snort man’s ashes, thought it was cocaine
Reuters January 20, 2011 11:37 AM


MIAMI — Burglars snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs in the mistaken belief that they had stolen illegal drugs, Florida sheriff’s deputies said on Wednesday.


The ashes were taken from a woman’s home in the Central Florida town of Silver Springs Shores on December 15.


The thieves took an urn containing the ashes of her father and another container with the ashes of her two Great Danes, along with electronic equipment and jewelry, the Marion County Sheriff’s Office said.

© Copyright (c) Reuters

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