Author Topic: Boyfriend in basic training started pushing me away towards the end of training?  (Read 23346 times)

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Offline Simian Turner

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stacey,

I think you know that you need to prepare yourself for the scenario in which he has replaced you by someone he met while he has been away.  That too can be one of the norms in his new peer group.  If this is the case, likely it could have happened at some point further down the road.  When you asked him what was wrong, you were being supportive and caring; ignoring the observation would not have had any different result.  The "hateful" comments being sent your way could be an expression of his guilt and disappointment in himself.  Since you are determined to be there for his graduation, I send you best wishes and encourage you to be supportive and caring but to be prepared for the additional changes in him.
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Offline Bruce Monkhouse

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On Saturday, i logged onto facebook and thats when I found out he broke up with me. He literally did it over facebook 

Frig 'em,...he's an *******. [and still being too kind]

( He has never lied to me before he went to basic.... )
Yes he has.......you just didn't know. [see first reply]
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^ What Bruce said. ^

On Saturday, i logged onto facebook and thats when I found out he broke up with me.

"Social" media, as they call it, has added a whole new level of mortification to the process of breaking up.

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Offline krimynal

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he has 1.5 weeks left. Unfortunately, I think i pushed him too far without even knowing it.
The last 2 weeks were filled with nearly hateful comments from him to me, and i just stopped 'chasing him' mid last week to give him his space. On Saturday, i logged onto facebook and thats when I found out he broke up with me. He literally did it over facebook after agreeing to talk to me in person next week, then denying that agreement ( He has never lied to me before he went to basic.... ) To say the least, I am beyond heartbroken as I never seen any of this coming, the most I keep telling myself at this point is I should never of asked him what was wrong a few weeks ago when he was acting - off.  Im still going to to his Graduation next week, a part of me is saying once he sees me he'll remember he still loves me but the other half of me is preparing for closure.

if he didn't even had enough balls to come up to you and talk to you directly regarding a broke up , trust me you are way better alone then with his stupid a**.  Things are not easy for any Military Wife .... but some men are simply plain stupid ahole .....

Trust me its way better off for you to be out of his life , imagine you waiting for him while hes deployed , stressing out for everything only to know when he comesback how much hes been lying and cheating on you !
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Offline Jarnhamar

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Im still going to to his Graduation next week, a part of me is saying once he sees me he'll remember he still loves me but the other half of me is preparing for closure.

Bad idea.  If he has a new GF there's a good chance she will be there. Or if he started dating someone on course she will be there. You're setting yourself up for more heart ache, stress and a wasted trip.
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Online mariomike

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Re: Graduation, what to expect?
« Reply #55 on: November 16, 2015, 11:31:27 »
He broke up with me on Saturday over.... facebook. I logged on and seen I was single.

Im still going to his graduation, a part of me wants to believe him seeing me will fix this mess but the other half is just waiting for a cold distant shoulder to throw me the rest of the way out the door.

Are you sure that is a good idea?
« Last Edit: November 16, 2015, 11:37:40 by mariomike »
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Bad idea.  If he has a new GF there's a good chance she will be there. Or if he started dating someone on course she will be there.
Also a bad idea if he's not dating anybody else, and just wants to be without anyone right now.  Either way ....
You're setting yourself up for more heart ache, stress and a wasted trip.
:nod:
Frig 'em,...he's an *******. [and still being too kind]
Too true ....

While we try to be as helpful as possible online, do you have anyone you can talk to about this?  It may be easier to absorb hearing it from someone like a friend than from strangers online.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2015, 12:35:32 by milnews.ca »
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Offline Pushpin

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You're worth more than the way he has treated you.  I encourage you to take the money you were planning to spend on going to his graduation and instead treat yourself!  Buy an expensive jacket or some new shoes.  Or go to a play or go see a band live.  Don't waste your money on this guy, you deserve better.

Offline stacey101

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Also a bad idea if he's not dating anybody else, and just wants to be without anyone right now.  Either way .... :nod:Too true ....

While we try to be as helpful as possible online, do you have anyone you can talk to about this?  It may be easier to absorb hearing it from someone like a friend than from strangers online.
Bad idea.  If he has a new GF there's a good chance she will be there. Or if he started dating someone on course she will be there. You're setting yourself up for more heart ache, stress and a wasted trip.

if he didn't even had enough balls to come up to you and talk to you directly regarding a broke up , trust me you are way better alone then with his stupid a**.  Things are not easy for any Military Wife .... but some men are simply plain stupid ahole .....

Trust me its way better off for you to be out of his life , imagine you waiting for him while hes deployed , stressing out for everything only to know when he comesback how much hes been lying and cheating on you !
You're worth more than the way he has treated you.  I encourage you to take the money you were planning to spend on going to his graduation and instead treat yourself!  Buy an expensive jacket or some new shoes.  Or go to a play or go see a band live.  Don't waste your money on this guy, you deserve better.

I think i've included everyones comment if I havent, very sorry I did read them all tho!
As for someone to talk about it too, in the area - he literally is...was my only friend outside of coworkers who have now moved. I wasnt lonely before the break up,  that only set in when this all went down hill as i didnt just lose a lover but a best friend in one shot  The ticket for the trip, is non-refundable, non-transferable. SO when this all crashes on grad, I intend to make the most of my time in Montreal with his mom and do some tourist sight seeing as Im typically a wildlife/rehab volunteer when I travel.   

And I do agree, this was a childish move on his behalf especially after agreeing to talk in person TWICE prior to Saturday.  The most I got out of the conversation when I realized what he had done was money was a concern from him in regards to him not being able to afford much the next few years and having to live on base ( why im pointing that out is simply because it was the most RANDOM comment he could of thrown in the conversation) ... and to clarify im not an expensive girlfriend. I ask for pizza on date night, and a movie on a cheap night monthly.... so the money thing really has me thrown off thinking he thinks he suddenly needs to spend a fortune on me.  Either way at this point... i'm crossing every digit that there isnt a replacement as much as my gut is hinting on to this being an issue as it happened after a weekend DT ( this would be the nightmare).  However this being said, what ever way this turns  in the end - lesson learned, if this ever happens again.... make sure they actually want you there. This is going to go one of two ways at the end of that day, heartbreak/closure or one very emotionally stressed 21 year old who ends up asking for forgiveness ( but im taking the first one with me to prepare myself for what ever happens that day ).

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The ticket for the trip, is non-refundable, non-transferable. SO when this all crashes on grad, I intend to make the most of my time in Montreal with his mom and


Holy frig...Now you are drifting in crazy ex status.

You know why divorces are so expensive?  Because they are worth it.  Consider the cost of your ticket as being worth it for not having him in your life and go have fun. 
Hope is not a valid COA

Offline stacey101

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Holy frig...Now you are drifting in crazy ex status.

You know why divorces are so expensive?  Because they are worth it.  Consider the cost of your ticket as being worth it for not having him in your life and go have fun.

woah no, never the crazy ex! yikes! A very sad one, but not crazy....
Crashes, in regards to my hopes of him accepting me not happening! LOL His mom actually invited me to stay in her hotel the entire stay ( i was going to book my own room, but when she found out i was coming she told me to call her up and she offered me a bed )  and to make a girls week out of it and explore the city because she doesn't want me moping around the hotel for 4 days feeling sorry for myself :)

Offline Humphrey Bogart

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This thread is pure jokes!

Need to go watch some Maury Povich to get this disgusting taste out of my mouth!


Online mariomike

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woah no, never the crazy ex! yikes! A very sad one, but not crazy....

You don't sound like a "bunny boiler" to me.  :) < Just kidding >



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