Author Topic: Respect for Women  (Read 22940 times)

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Offline infanteerGF

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Re: Respect for Women
« Reply #50 on: February 16, 2016, 14:48:46 »
Make a public facebook post talking about how wimpy he looked compared to the other soldiers at remembrance day and see how he feel's about it.

This is an extremely immature thing to do. I am not looking to humiliate by BF in any way. I was simply wondering if the Sgt's behaviour was normal as this was the first military event I attended alongside my BF.

Offline infanteerGF

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Re: Respect for Women
« Reply #51 on: February 16, 2016, 14:51:31 »
I have to ask, if he did not acknowledge your presence - you could made your presence known and taken the opportunity to speak up and "humanize" yourself?  You came on hear to "rant", why didn't you speak up there when you had the chance?

Being that it was my first time attending a military event alongside my BF, surrounded by his peers and superiors, I did not feel like it was my place to say anything because I don't know all of the rules yet and didn't want to embarrass my BF or get him in trouble.

Offline infanteerGF

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Re: Respect for Women
« Reply #52 on: February 16, 2016, 14:54:41 »
OMG!!   I'm so offended by the above statements............seriously, THIS is "dehumanizing"?  Jesus wept......

Just because you switched the gender in my statements does not make me feel any different. Had a female officer been saying these things I still wouldn't have thought highly of them.

Offline infanteerGF

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Re: Respect for Women
« Reply #53 on: February 16, 2016, 15:00:00 »
There are a lot of aspects at play here, one of them being that the boyfriend most likely just wanted to fit in with the group and not ostracize himself.

Perhaps the best course of action would have been for the GF to signal to the BF that she would like to remove themselves from the conversation and then when all parties were sober she could have explained to the BF exactly what made her uncomfortable.

He already fit into the group at the table (except maybe the Sgt that walked over) because they were all privates he'd become quite close with. Had I asked him to leave, it would've just made things more awkward for me because then I'd be the reason he left all of his friends for seemingly no reason.

Offline infanteerGF

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Re: Respect for Women
« Reply #54 on: February 16, 2016, 15:04:07 »
Problem is, we don't know the other side of the story, nor the exact words used. The individual making the statements could have meant something completely different, but used the wrong words, which boils down to attempting to solve it at the lowest level. If you flipped the gender, and a female Sgt was talking about men in the same way, would she have been offended? Or laughing it up as well?

The Sgt said "Unless she's a lingerie model, she's replaceable. And if you're the kind of guy who can get a lingerie model, you can probably get another one anyways." So I'm pretty sure he was saying that SOs are replaceable.

Had it been a female Sgt, I wouldn't have been personally offended as much, but I still wouldn't agree with her.

Offline infanteerGF

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Re: Respect for Women
« Reply #55 on: February 16, 2016, 15:07:10 »
What was the Sgt doing in the JRs?

A few of them would filter in and out to talk and tell stories or buy other guys some drinks in celebration.

Offline infanteerGF

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Re: Respect for Women
« Reply #56 on: February 16, 2016, 15:10:37 »
Sorry for all of the late replies, I'm new here and didn't know I had to manually turn on notifications for posts.

Offline Flavus101

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Re: Respect for Women
« Reply #57 on: February 17, 2016, 09:50:58 »
Had it been a female Sgt, I wouldn't have been personally offended as much, but I still wouldn't agree with her.

Simple question for you, why?

Offline infanteerGF

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Re: Respect for Women
« Reply #58 on: February 17, 2016, 16:43:32 »
Simple question for you, why?

Well I wouldn't classify myself as a boyfriend or husband and so that's why it wouldn't be as personal, but I still don't agree that significant others are easily replaceable.

Offline Journeyman

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Re: Respect for Women
« Reply #59 on: February 18, 2016, 09:49:56 »
Wow, three pages and still going strong.   :facepalm:

The Sgt was a dick, plain and simple -- being a male or female dick is irrelevant.  Made worse by being a dick in someone else's Mess.

Your boyfriend, and everyone within earshot, needs to learn to stand up and speak out when necessary.  Some will say 'easier said than done.'  Possibly true.  However, I've periodically ruffled feathers throughout my career (yes, it's true!), yet my world still turns.  This may garner respect from various individuals, but at the very least people will give a second thought to being stupid around you.

Please move on with your lives.... knowing that this Sgt isn't a one-off; there are actually more stupid people out there and you will cross paths.  Try not to waste too much time on hand-wringing after the fact, especially if you're going to say/do nothing at the time.
Imagine a world where people lacking the first clue about a topic refrained from posting anyway...