Author Topic: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged  (Read 107905 times)

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Offline dapaterson

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #25 on: September 02, 2009, 10:49:38 »
but it's your wife's wedding, do what you please are told)


Fixed that for you...
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Offline N. McKay

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #26 on: September 02, 2009, 12:02:25 »
A sword arch upon exit from the chapel by a 'guard of honor' composed of uniformed friends is a custom and is a memorable touch.

I've had the privilege of participating in this and can say that it makes for a very striking display.

traditionalists will argue that the #2 order should not be worn at all before 1800hrs, but it's your wedding, do what you please

I'm one of those traditionalists who maintains that mess kit is the equivalent of black tie and it's a faux pas to wear it before 1800.  But given that very odd tuxedo-influenced garments are routinely worn at day-time weddings these days I can't say that it would be terribly strange to see the same done with mess kit.

It's ultimately up to the couple; this is one of the few days in their lives that they will have almost complete control over!
« Last Edit: September 02, 2009, 12:05:40 by N. McKay »

Offline Otis

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #27 on: September 20, 2009, 18:47:43 »
My buddy wore high-collar whites for his wedding, while I wore Mess Kit as the best man. The wedding was in the afternnon on a farm!

The way we looked at it ... it made the Bride happy, we all looked nice, and in 20 years - looking at the wedding photos - who's going to remember what time tha damn wedding was anyway? :)
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Offline Trinity

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #28 on: September 20, 2009, 22:17:56 »

I just had my (Cough)... wife's wedding I mean in May in Borden and I wore Mess Dress.  It looks excellent with the red doeskin. 
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Offline Pusser

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #29 on: October 28, 2009, 14:59:25 »
Normal etiquette dictates that mess kit is evening wear and should not be worn before 1800.  Despite most mess kits having a black tie, it is actually the equivalent of the civilian "white tie" order of formal dress, which also includes tails.  A tuxedo (with its black tie), by the way, is considered semi-formal.  We no longer use mess "undress," which would be the military equivalent to a tuxedo.

Strictly speaking, a daytime wedding ceremony should be conducted in No 1 (ie. uniform shirt, standard tie, medals and sword) or 1A (same as above without sword).  An alternative would be if you are a member of a regiment that has a regimental uniform (eg. a red-coated infantry regiment).

There is no strict taboo against wearing swords in church.  People have been doing it for centuries.  You may wish to check with the church in question though as they may have a local policy.  I wore a sword (as did my ushers) for my wedding and it looked great!  You just have to be careful when moving around, especially if there is any kneeling involved.  My wedding was in a Catholic basilica, with a full mass and lots of stone steps.  The arch of swords (edges up) is a nice touch and makes for great pictures.

It is OK to wear mess kit for the reception, if it takes place after 1800, but their is no requirement to do so.  I have been to weddings where people changed into mess kits and others where they didn't.   As a personal recommendation though, if you don't have or don't want to buy a proper mess kit, I wouldn't bother changing into a white shirt and bow tie and swapping medals for ribbons (medals are not worn with interim mess kit - miniatures are worn with proper mess kit).  If you want to wear a mess kit at your wedding, spend the bucks and get a proper one.  It looks better and you'll be glad you did when you see the pictures later.  If you're worried about the cost, just consider what your bride will spend on her dress.  Shouldn't you be allowed to do the same in this modern world of equality of the sexes?  Did I just say that!?

For my wedding, my bride bought a dress and I bought a sword (I already had the uniforms).

Whatever you do, DO NOT wear a sword with mess kit (yes, I've seen it done and it is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG).  If you're going to cut the cake with your sword (which is really cool) and you're wearing mess kit at the time, just have the sword placed on the table beforehand.  Don't wear it.  On another note, make sure you clean off the sword both before and after cutting the cake.  The icing will do a number on the blade finish.

Congratulations and good luck.
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Offline Rheostatic

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #30 on: October 28, 2009, 15:18:19 »

Offline Monsoon

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #31 on: October 28, 2009, 15:33:32 »
Normal etiquette dictates that mess kit is evening wear and should not be worn before 1800.  Despite most mess kits having a black tie, it is actually the equivalent of the civilian "white tie" order of formal dress, which also includes tails.  A tuxedo (with its black tie), by the way, is considered semi-formal.  We no longer use mess "undress," which would be the military equivalent to a tuxedo.
As it was explained to me (in a naval context - I can't speak to dress/undress in the army), the dress is white tie equivalent when worn with the white vest. When worn with a black vest or cummerbund, it's black tie (and, hence, "undress").

Offline gcclarke

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #32 on: October 28, 2009, 19:52:28 »
As it was explained to me (in a naval context - I can't speak to dress/undress in the army), the dress is white tie equivalent when worn with the white vest. When worn with a black vest or cummerbund, it's black tie (and, hence, "undress").

And then of course the Navy's also got the concept of the High Collared Whites to mess things up even more. Were the OP a Naval officer, I'd suggest going with that for the daytime / ceremony, and switching to the regular mess kit for the reception. But alas, it's never that simple.
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Offline eurowing

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #33 on: October 29, 2009, 04:24:27 »
 >:D  For those who wore Mess Dress, I bet you looked rather dashing!  Those who wore kitchen wares...  can I see the pictures?  I am trying to figure out how the ladies could cover-up  ;D 
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Offline Pusser

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #34 on: November 02, 2009, 13:55:32 »
As it was explained to me (in a naval context - I can't speak to dress/undress in the army), the dress is white tie equivalent when worn with the white vest. When worn with a black vest or cummerbund, it's black tie (and, hence, "undress").

Right you are.  Another difference is that "undress" also had plain trousers (without gold stripes or "lighting rods").  Mess Undress comes from an era when most naval officers lived onboard and wore it to dinner in the Wardroom every night.  This is obviously no longer the case and thus the reason that Mess Undress is no longer used.
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Offline Monsoon

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #35 on: November 02, 2009, 14:58:35 »
Right you are.  Another difference is that "undress" also had plain trousers (without gold stripes or "lighting rods").  Mess Undress comes from an era when most naval officers lived onboard and wore it to dinner in the Wardroom every night.  This is obviously no longer the case and thus the reason that Mess Undress is no longer used.
Meaning that we just adopted the "lightning rod" pants (rather than "tuxedo" pants) for our black tie equivalent, as I understand it. Makes us look a bit strange when mess dining with the RN, who really only wear the mess "dress" at dinners where a member of the royal family is present.
« Last Edit: November 02, 2009, 15:07:24 by hamiltongs »

Offline Pusser

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #36 on: November 15, 2009, 22:20:59 »
It's my understanding that the RN and RAN (RNZN as well?) have dropped the lightning rods altogether for everyone except Flag Officers.
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Offline one_speed

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #37 on: November 28, 2009, 16:34:36 »
Normal etiquette dictates that mess kit is evening wear and should not be worn before 1800.  Despite most mess kits having a black tie, it is actually the equivalent of the civilian "white tie" order of formal dress, which also includes tails.  A tuxedo (with its black tie), by the way, is considered semi-formal.  We no longer use mess "undress," which would be the military equivalent to a tuxedo.

Strictly speaking, a daytime wedding ceremony should be conducted in No 1 (ie. uniform shirt, standard tie, medals and sword) or 1A (same as above without sword).  An alternative would be if you are a member of a regiment that has a regimental uniform (eg. a red-coated infantry regiment).

There is no strict taboo against wearing swords in church.  People have been doing it for centuries.  You may wish to check with the church in question though as they may have a local policy.  I wore a sword (as did my ushers) for my wedding and it looked great!  You just have to be careful when moving around, especially if there is any kneeling involved.  My wedding was in a Catholic basilica, with a full mass and lots of stone steps.  The arch of swords (edges up) is a nice touch and makes for great pictures.

It is OK to wear mess kit for the reception, if it takes place after 1800, but their is no requirement to do so.  I have been to weddings where people changed into mess kits and others where they didn't.   As a personal recommendation though, if you don't have or don't want to buy a proper mess kit, I wouldn't bother changing into a white shirt and bow tie and swapping medals for ribbons (medals are not worn with interim mess kit - miniatures are worn with proper mess kit).  If you want to wear a mess kit at your wedding, spend the bucks and get a proper one.  It looks better and you'll be glad you did when you see the pictures later.  If you're worried about the cost, just consider what your bride will spend on her dress.  Shouldn't you be allowed to do the same in this modern world of equality of the sexes?  Did I just say that!?

For my wedding, my bride bought a dress and I bought a sword (I already had the uniforms).

Whatever you do, DO NOT wear a sword with mess kit (yes, I've seen it done and it is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG).  If you're going to cut the cake with your sword (which is really cool) and you're wearing mess kit at the time, just have the sword placed on the table beforehand.  Don't wear it.  On another note, make sure you clean off the sword both before and after cutting the cake.  The icing will do a number on the blade finish.

Congratulations and good luck.

Hey, thanks to all that replied very helpful comments..

My plans at present are to wear my DEU  (Army) with Tux shirt and Bow tiefor the Wedding.

My promotion is coming through soon (to Captain) so I'll wait to get a new uniform for nice clean tailoring.  Mess kit is still an option for dinner and reception but it'll be greens for the ceremony and pictures.  I'm holding out as an LT, but once the promotion does pass I would really like to get my Mess kit  together.

Sword will also be present for the ceremony and pictures.

I'm an NO and am aware of the protocols with us Medical types and swords.

We are planning a sword arch on exiting the church with several of my friends attending (1 LCol, 3 Maj, and 1 Capt) as well as our Piper of course.    I have heard  different numbers of officers are required to do a proper arch (depending on the source of course).  Any suggestions ?



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Offline Senor Mono

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #38 on: November 28, 2009, 22:05:29 »
So you are in DEU, sword, and bow tie for the ceremony? Sounds odd. Best option would be the normal necktie for this dress.

Offline one_speed

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #39 on: November 29, 2009, 08:28:45 »
You're right, I was thinking about thsi last night after posting.  This would constitute mess kit wouldn't it ? 

I'll have to wait and see, but of course if I go with the sword I'd be in DEU with straight tie and regular shirt...

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Offline Pusser

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #40 on: December 03, 2009, 14:42:04 »
Go for the sword.  Swords are cool and are in fact one of an officer's badges of office.  As for medical officers and swords, I'm not aware of any restrictions.  Medical personnel are allowed weapons for personal protection (as well as that of their patients and hospitals as far as I know).  The Royal Navy even had a specific pattern for surgeons at one point.  You might want to check to see if the Medical Branch uses a specific pattern.  If not, there is a universal pattern (i.e. infantry) for use of branches that don't have one of their own.

If you're interested in buying one, you might want to look at:  http://www.pooleysword.com/ or http://www.wkc-solingen.de/newshop/index.html.  These are the companies that purchased all of Wilkinson Sword's equipment and patterns when they stopped making swords a few years ago.  I'd like to point out that the prices have come down considerably from when Wilkinson still did it.
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Offline blondie55

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #41 on: August 06, 2011, 00:34:46 »
Hi! My fiance is starting basic training in Sept for infantry. We are getting married civilly at city hall next week, but are trying to plan an actual wedding for next fall, but I'm concerned that if I book a venue and he can't come home for it - alot of money will be wasted? I do believe if we had it in between 13-14 months from now, he would be done his training. Would they allow him time off for his own wedding? Advice? Thoughts? Thanks!

Offline Bruce Monkhouse

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #42 on: August 06, 2011, 00:41:53 »
Don't book anything until he is a lot furthur along...........
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Offline Nauticus

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #43 on: August 06, 2011, 01:42:26 »
Hi! My fiance is starting basic training in Sept for infantry. We are getting married civilly at city hall next week, but are trying to plan an actual wedding for next fall, but I'm concerned that if I book a venue and he can't come home for it - alot of money will be wasted? I do believe if we had it in between 13-14 months from now, he would be done his training. Would they allow him time off for his own wedding? Advice? Thoughts? Thanks!
There's no guarantees, and it's quite possible that he would not be granted time off.

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Offline PuckChaser

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #44 on: August 06, 2011, 11:05:45 »
Even when you're established in a unit, the Army will find ways to add stress to the wedding. I started planning my wedding November last year, after checking my unit's training calender and seeing IBTS booked for August. September seemed perfect. In March, after a thousand or so dollars in downpayments, IBTS moves to September, and makes it look like we're working a weekend... thankfully its all run locally which is a switch the last 3 years here.

Wait till your Fiance is at a unit, and plan about a year ahead. Have him notify his chain of command early, and they should try to make sure he doesn't get tasked for that weekend.

Offline jeffb

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #45 on: August 06, 2011, 11:15:51 »
Remember if he's just going off to BMQ there is a chance that he won't even be in the CF 13-14 months from now. It is not unheard of for people to not be successful. I got married in a brief period between BMOQ-L and DP 1.1 and it was very tricky to organize the planning. As it was, I got married in Gagetown, NB and was in Shilo, MB for 11 weeks, two weeks after our wedding. Had the dates on my course been moved up just a few weeks, I would have missed my own wedding.

The best advice has already been given. Wait until he's done his training and posted to a Regiment. Once there, you should have some better sense or normalcy to your lives or at the very least, someone who will be able to provide better advice to your fiance around good timing for this rather then us randoms on the internet. :)

Best of luck!
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Offline blondie55

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #46 on: August 06, 2011, 16:42:28 »
Thank you for all your advice! It all really sucks - as we don't want to wait that long, but it's probably for the best.

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #47 on: August 06, 2011, 16:56:15 »
Thank you for all your advice! It all really sucks - as we don't want to wait that long, but it's probably for the best.

It seems like the wait will be long, but trust me: The stress of planning a wedding while your fiance is on course is not something you'll want to deal with. Wedding planning is stressful enough.

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #48 on: October 22, 2011, 17:26:36 »
Hi All,

I'm getting married this coming Friday and I'm wondering if it would be considered appropriate to wear my uniform also what should be worn with it (ceremonial belt, gloves, peaked cap/beret etc.). I've looked through the dress regs and have only found that it is permitted, but not how to wear it. I'm a naval officer if that's important. Thanks in advance.

-Matt

Offline mariomike

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Re: The Military Wedding Superthread- merged
« Reply #49 on: October 22, 2011, 17:31:29 »
This may help.

Topic: DEU / Mess Kit for my Wedding (Groom):
http://forums.army.ca/forums/index.php?topic=88873.0
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