Topic: Married Service Couples (MSC) - Family during Training

[Tyrnagog]

I was wondering...  for all of you who are joining and have kids..

How did you explain what you were doing/why you were going to be away for 4+ months to them?  Especially if they are young?

Looks like I may be going in January as DEO (Sig O) and I have a 3 year old daughter, who is quite the "daddy's girl"..  Any ideas how I can explain to her why I am going to be away for the next year or so in a way that she understands and yet isn't completely freaked out?

Or is this just one of those things you can't really explain to someone so young and I just need to let her deal with it in her own way?

Thanks for the feedback, stories and advice!

[Bert]

In my opinion, the best way to deal with it is to provide a suitable description of what
you're going to do and achieve to your daughter. 

Then during the course, keep the lines of communication open.  Invest in a digital camera.
Depending on your course, what you can bring and computer access, send letters, e-mail,
and pictures as often as you can.  With the help of the wife and family, you'll always
be on your daughter's mind.  Helps you too.  Make trips home when you can.  Keep
a positive attitude.  Your career choice is as much for you as it is for your daughter (family).

[CheersShag]

Definetly try and explain it to her.
My father explained it to me when I was that age and I managed to get it.
"Daddys job is very important and he has to go away for a long time, but that's to keep you and your sister safe."

I'm not a child psychologist though..so maybe they'll think that if daddys not away they're not safe...
I shouldn't be allowed to reproduce should I?

Defintely make the attempt to explain it in some detail though, if that doesn't work just gradually explain it to her over the years.

[Scott]

My Dad was away on and off (MP) from the time I was born until he got out when I was 12, he then got a job with Transport Canada and was away all through his career with them. I turned out just fine. Missed him when he was overseas but I have fond memories of some of his buddies coming to take me to hockey games and the like. Now, I am the one who kind of likes being away. I don't mind going to courses with my job or on extended projects away from home and I think that because I was used to someone being gone alot while I was growing up that it sort of rubbed off on me as being normal. It's good for some and not for others, I'm just one of the ones who didn't really mind it.

[Spazkatt]

Hello, all.
I was wondering is anyone was willing to share their experiences regarding enrolling with the CF and the impact it had or might have with their fledgeling families. This would be a major deciding factor for me and would find it interesting to see how others have handled it.
Thanks in advance.

[gun plumber]

I was enrolled reg force in 02 with a common law wife and a newborne son.To her credit,my wife was in the reserves,and had some idea of what the life was about.We had our "disscusions"about it and it's now going on 6 yrs + and 2 postings later and both she and my son are loving it.
My advice.....Keep your wife informed and involved.It saves alot of "disscusions"later on if she knows whats going on.

[Frank the Tank]

Here's something a MCpl wrote from when he learned he was going to Afghanistan until August 2004..  He shares how he dealt with his family life...

http://www.cbc.ca/news/viewpoint/vp_storring/

[Kris]

Hello,

Hi I am looking into joining the cf and my husband is in the regf.  Can anyone tell me what it would be like with both parents in the forces?  We also have 1 year old child.  I have looked everywhere for some info on this topic and can't find anything.

Thanks

[gun plumber]

It all depends on if you want to go Reg or Reserve.If it's Reg you seek theres already a topic on the go you might want to check out.
http://army.ca/forums/index.php/topic,21623.0.html
If it's reserve's I can speak from experience.Upon transfer to the regular force,my wife came to Borden with me and transfered to the Air reserves in Borden.With the exception of the courses she had to redo(side note-It was retarded!my wife was Qual'd QL 5 in the Militia with 10 yrs experience in trade !they made her redo he QL3 over!)our life and that of our son was not drastically affected.It was actually kinda good because I would get her to exchange kit for me!
But,if you do decide to follow the reserve route,be prepared for seperation on short courses(6-8 wks,and field ex's)This is par for course as the courses might not be offered through your unit or even on the same base.
Personal note-My wife's QL3 was CB'd (confined to barracks)almost every day .Where we lived on base was a 2 minute drive from her barracks.On a 6 month course I saw my wife 4 times!But this is not the norm.
Hope you persue it,nothing bonds people like sharing adversity.And the second income helps too!

[Kris]

Thanks for some info, I already looked at the thread that was given above.

 I have done the separation with a tour to Bosnia about two years ago.  Now I have been off with my child for almost a year and I am looking into joining the reserves as a clerk.

I have heard that you may not have to do the 10 weeks BT but may be able to on weekends and the summer?  Is any of this true?  Is there somewhere I might find some more info on that?

Is there anyone else that have both parents in the cf?

[Spazkatt]

Hello...just to update...and to refresh this post...     Thanks Frank for that link. I read the stories and found them very interesting and thought provoking. I did bring the possibility of joining the CF to my wife, and to my surprise was quite supportive! Not so much in regards to reg force; at least not just yet. Reserves, however seems to be a viable option. So, away to the recruiters in Hamilton I went, and began the process. (Mentally, at least. Still gotta get my bod workin' properly). I will visit a few reserve units in my area and get a feel for things!   Away we go!

[Jason E]

Hello all,

This is my first posting here on this forum.

I've read through just about everything I can find on CF Armoured, but haven't found all the information I need to make my decission.

I haven't yet applied to CF, even though I've been thinking about it for over a year.

Here's my issue and question:

I'm 32 years old and married with 3 young children. I've thought about joining the forces most of my life, but around a year ago, (unhappy with my current occupation) I started to look at what I really want and enjoy in life.

I think that Forces life is for me, but what about my family?

My wife has told me that she doesn't really like the idea, when I ask her about it it seems that she mostly doesn't like the idea of me being away all the time and she has said that she doesn't want to move around every four years.

So, that's my question.

How often do armoured soldiers need to move and how much time (on average) could I expect to be away?

Thank you,
Jason

[Recce41]

First off
 You'll be gone for about 6-9 months for your first year. That is from Basic training to DP1( trades training). You will then be posted to a Regt. You could be posted ether to Petawawa Ont with the Royal Canadians Dragoons , Edmonton with the Lord Strathconia Horse (RC), or Valcartier with the 12 RBC if you are Francaphone.
 You may then go on a tour, 3 months of training then 6-7 month tour. You will get a 2-3 week leave between the second and 5 month to come home. Then back. You maybe sent on taskings or exercise for 1-3 months. It is not like the old days the exercises were upto 5 months long. You will/may be on a in house course run by the Regt or away on course. Again 1-3 months.
 As for postings, you may stay in one spot for yrs or get posted every 3-5 yrs. It is the only job that you may get off to take your kids to the doc, or school assemblies, or get 3 weeks off for Christmas, and 3 weeks of in the summer, and may get a week for March. There are family support groups. And the Family resource centres is great.
 On Base there are places for the kids, a gym, pool, etc and all for 8$ a month. You cannot get that on civie street. Pay is not bad about 2000$/M for the first yr then goes up after. But gets better after you become a Cpl in 3-4 Yrs. Dental, Med, etc is pay for you and your family med program is also good. My wife served 12 yrs also. After your wife sees the benefits, she may/will understand. It is always hard for the first 3 yrs. As another job.
E mail me I can fill you in more.
 As one of the old guys here and a family I maybe able to help.

[Zirus]

Recce41
 I also would Like to join an armoured division!

I'm currently posted in the regiment of Hull (reserves)(armoured)
and would like to know at my age (18) once I'm done the 3 Hard years you mentioned
would i be good for family life afterwards!? and i would like to know a little more about the stuff kids can do on bases?
is it possible for my wife(when i have one) to work on the base?
Can we live on the base?(wife and kids)


any help would be appreciated!

thx
soldat Fiset out!

[George Wallace]

Zirus

If you are in the Regiment du Hull, you can easily find out these things first hand.  Ask your RSS Officer or NCO's and they will be more than happy to enlighten you.  You are also in the National Capital Region and can witness first hand members of the Armed Forces and what facilities they have for them and their families.

GW

[veiled scout]

Ok
So you want to join, as stated by the previous people all is somewhat true, depending on what regiment you join etc will depend on the tempo of yoour training. As for family life, I believe it is crucial to belong to a Regiment that looks after it's people and takes care of them while they (you) are deployed. You do not go away as much as you think you do, it is dependant on an issue called the ATOF cycle (which I won't get into). Most time will be spent in garrison after you have completed your trades training. If you do get tasked out (at least until the rank of Cpl) it will be limited and in the capacity of a driver or storeman, but those positions are far and few. Once you reach the rank of MCpl and above, expect to get tasked during the summer, but that would not be for sometime, if at all. Once you hit an operational cycle, it is very structured and there are certain timelines and milestones that must be achieved (again I won;t expand on this). The bottom line is that there is more support for you and your family then any other civilian organization out there. Don't believe me? Phone any of the bases in Canada and ask the base operator for the number to "Family resource centre" then ask one of the people that work there as to what services are offered or better yet check out the web link:

http://www.pmfrc.org/
Anyway I hope this helps in your final choice as to what you want to do, but don't let people fool you about the military, it does and will take care of you and yoour family!

TANKS

[Recce41]

Scout
 Remember there are more tasks for drivers at the school now. Somewhat true?

[Carpenter]

I have applied as a DEO Infantry candidate.   Can anyone tell me what happens for leave during the training process?   I have been told that everyone in the CF has vacation time that needs to be used, but the 'when' part is what puzzles me.   Thanks for any input.

[Bert]

During your training, you'll accumulate leave time.  The current rules are all of your
accumulated leave for that fiscal year must be used up evenly in that fiscal year,
preferrably not taken all at the end of the year.  How it is used is up to you
and your chain of command.  Carry-over is no longer allowed.

However, if at the end of the fiscal year you cannot take the accumulated
leave and have good reason, your CO may under his/her discretion allow the
leave to be carried over into the next year.

From personal experience and those of others, the military will not cheat you
of leave but make sure your chain of command is aware of the situation.

[SHELLDRAKE!!]

Usually your leave in the training period is best used evenly after your courses are completed and at christmas time, once you are in a unit,
you will have to base it around excercises and courses but usually there is a "block" leave period in the summer and winter where your unit does not schedule courses/training.As for what to tell your little ones, alot of people going on tours have run into this as children of different ages react differently to their parent(s) being away but as others have said, with emails,letters and phone calls and plenty of quality time before and after your training, kids are strong and understanding, dont worry about it too much because it will only cause you stress that you dont need on top of training.

[shokuten]

OK, I'm leaving in august for my basic at St-Jean, I'll be done in October and Probably be sent to my next training session when ever, but heres the thing..

My sister is getting married in March of 2006, and most likely I'll be doing something in the army (i hope) she wants me to attend, and i just want to know Can i get leave for something like that? How does the army work for situations like that?

thanks for any help and sorry for any bad grammar and spelling mistakes

[wotan]

I'm presuming you're joing the Reg F, so my response will based on that premise.

Your trg takes precedence over everything else, full stop.  That said, if you are between crses or are completed your trg by that pt in time, you MAY be granted lve.  This doesn't mean you WILL be granted lve, but it is something that your CO or OC can consider, just like for any other soldier.

If your sister resides in the same location as your next of kin (if you are single and don't have kids, your NOK is Mom and Dad), than you may be eligible for Lve Travel Assistance (LTA) that will offset some of the cost of travelling "home" as defined under CBI 209.50.

The long and short of it is, if you are in trg (Recruit or Trades), don't bank on getting lve.  If you are between crses or have reported in to your new unit after Trades Training, there is the possibility of being granted lve.  But, if you are in this for the long haul, get used to missing birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, deaths, and all sorts of family occasions. 

That said, best of luck on your courses and congratulations to your sister.  Cheers.

[shokuten]

thanks thats everything i was looking for

cheers!

[wotan]

You're very welcome.  Always better to ask than to be out there wondering.  Cheers.

[Wanting2Join]

My husband is currently a reservist, he served overseas and upon his return has put in for a component transfer to the Reg Force. I am in the process of joining the Reserves, but have considered joining the Regs. We have 4 children ranging in ages from 9 months to 14 years.
Are there any other families in this forum that have 2 parents that are in the Regs? Or any other Moms that are in the Regs? I'm wondering how to handle being in the military full time, with children. It is possible? What kind of support is available? Does the military assist with child care if you have to train on weekends, or do we find our own sitters? etc etc...
Thanks in advance.