Author Topic: A Canadian Tale of Woe...  (Read 1129 times)

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Offline Chris Pook

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A Canadian Tale of Woe...
« on: October 31, 2010, 15:03:52 »
A Canadian Tale of Woe

Stanza the First

.....Sitting on the deck, at the cabin, by the lake, in the spring, drinking beer, surveying the scenery......
Asked to let someone learn how to drive on the ice with your car.... Reluctantly agree, on the grounds that you accompany them.
They get in.  You get in.  You hand them the keys.
They start off slow and careful. You relax.
They speed up. You get worried.
They start to slide. You yell.
They brake.  They slide. You yell.
They steer to the left.  They slide. You yell.
They steer to the right. They slide. You yell.
They hit the gas.  They slide. You yell.
You reach over, knock it into neutral, close your eyes and pray that you stop before you reach open water or those trees on shore.
You stop. 
You remove the keys.  Say farewell and retire to the deck and open another beer.

Stanza the Second

.....Sitting on the deck, at the cabin, by the lake, in the spring, drinking beer, surveying the scenery......
Asked to let someone ELSE learn how to drive on the ice with your car.... Reluctantly agree, on the grounds that you accompany them.  AGAIN.
They get in.   You hand them the keys.
They start off slow and careful. You relax.
They speed up. You get worried.
They start to slide. You yell.
They brake.  They slide. You yell.
They steer to the left.  They slide. You yell.
They steer to the right. They slide. You yell.
They hit the gas.  They slide. You yell.
You reach over, knock it into neutral, close your eyes and pray that you stop before you reach open water or those trees on shore.
You stop. 
You remove the keys.  Say farewell and retire to the deck and open another beer.

Stanza the Third

.....Sitting on the deck, at the cabin, by the lake, in the spring, drinking beer, surveying the scenery......
Your Significant Other DEMANDS  that you let them try again to learn how to drive on the ice with your car.... Reluctantly agree, on the grounds that you DON’T accompany them.
They get in. You hand them the keys and retire to the deck and open another beer.
They start off slow and careful. You relax.
They speed up. You get worried.
They start to slide. You yell.
They brake.  They slide. You yell.
They steer to the left.  They slide. You yell.
They steer to the right. They slide. You yell.
They hit the gas.  They slide. You yell.
You close your eyes and pray that they stop before they reach open water or those trees on shore.....

Stanza the Fourth

Now at this point the story changes depending on who is in the car.
If it is your son and daughter you are praying hard that they don’t go through the ice.
If it is any member of any parliament or the press, a lawyer or an accountant you may be torn....you might be able to salvage the car when the ice clears...

Stanza the Fifth

They go through the ice.
It wasn’t  your son or daughter.
You curse the idiots in the car, your Significant Other and yourself.   And open another beer.

Stanza the Sixth

.....Sitting on the deck, at the cabin, by the lake, in the spring, drinking beer, surveying the scenery......
Asked to let someone learn how to drive on the ice with your car....
« Last Edit: October 31, 2010, 15:11:19 by Kirkhill »
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