0136ftw said:
My fiancé and I have been together for some time, but we were both wary of moving in together because I was once in a financially (and physically) abuse marriage and he had his son's best interests in protecting him until he was sure. We have lived together for two months (we've been together much longer) and I am pregnant.
This Monday, he received a posting message. I did not. After asking around, I am being told that pregnant isn't the same as having a kid together, and engaged isn't as good as common law or married. I'm writing a memo to my CM, but I have been told that in this time of budget crunch it isn't likely. I have also been told that pregnant women cannot live in the shacks (someone please tell me that's wrong).
What can I do?
Interesting. What is your due date and what is his COS date?
You can officially be declared "Common Law - Svc Spouse" at the
earlier date of:
- Having lived together for 1 year (make sure you have utility bills etc showing addy in both of your names); OR
- Immediately upon birth of the dependent child (which will definitely be sooner than the 10 months it will take you to hit the 1 year mark of living together).
You are indeed allowed to live in the shacks while pregnant, but you must move out of the shacks immediately upon birth of the child as dependents can not live in the shacks. I had a pregnant & single co-worker once move out of the shacks and in with us a month before her due date ... her PMQ became available about 3 weeks after her little guy was born. Petawawa allowed her to go on the wait-list for a Q while she was still pregnant. This could be an option for you. Nothing guarantees that they'd post you with him even if you were already CL or married (trust me on this one - I'm heading into IR 5).
Even so, regarding expenses after the child is born, it is dependent upon your due date and his COS date:
1) If his COS date is prior to the date of the child's birth, you will still have to pay for your living quarters in both places (he for his and you for yours) as your official common-law date is "after COS date" and ergo no entitlement to free rations & quarters (IAW IR directives) exists; (I could be wrong on this one given all the damn changes lately and I am not at work to pull up the refs thus am strike-through
ing).
2) If you have the child prior to his COS date, your CL date is prior and therefore he would then be entitled to apply/possibly proceed on IR posting (if his career manager approves) thus having his quarters paid for (you could not be the IR member if the child remains with you).
3) If you're both engaged
and divorced (as one does not have to be divorced to be "engaged" and your post is unclear) get married now and solve everything at once. ;D
Edited to strike-through. Don't want to put something out there that may not be the case today.