• Thanks for stopping by. Logging in to a registered account will remove all generic ads. Please reach out with any questions or concerns.

Declining an offer (merged)

brihard

Army.ca Fixture
Mentor
Reaction score
2,103
Points
990
Volidyr said:
Similar to yourself, I am Asian too. My parents went through the Vietnam War. Like your mother during the Korean War, they know what military, bombings, mass murders, and war is like. They also know about rape and real pirates. The whole idea of greater respect for family in Asian cultures versus Western cultures is somewhat relevant here in your case; however, I feel that there is a more important issue that may be a recurring theme within your life going forward as a grown man.

You are 31 years old. You were not forced to decline an offer of employment with the Canadian Armed Forces. Your mother's perspective on any issue relevant to your life should be taken into account as she is presumably more experienced, wiser, and loves you dearly. However, you let go of your dream of serving our great country as a fellow military member and it was not forced upon you to decline the offer of employment (as you choose to believe). Your mother's disagreement of you joining the Canadian Armed Forces was simply a factor. You chose to weight that factor quite strongly and heavily. In fact, it was so strong and heavy that it outweighed your own dream, happiness, potential career, and life goal since you actually declined the offer of employment.

No disrespect, but if she has this much influence over you as a fully developed and grown adult male, I suggest you start looking at yourself and seeing who you really are as a male. I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure 99% of females would not find this attractive and most certainly, most males would lose respect for you knowing that your mother has this much control over you as a 31 year old man.

Every individual has a unique life path, family, cultural background, values, attitudes, and beliefs; however, I feel that you need to be more dominant as a grown male if you are to seriously attack your goals. You have essentially publicly declared yourself as a submissive male who gave up his dream to please his mother. The theme going forward in your life may perhaps be that your mother's wants and happiness outweighs your own as a grown man and that you may never fully reach your full potential as a man. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in overcoming this challenge.

Uh, wow, that took a weird tack. You seem disturbingly wrapped around the axle on one particular concept of masculinity, what it means to you, and how it seems to affect your reckoning of others. Of the very many reasonable criticisms of his choices and reasoning, I think you've managed to miss the mark almost entirely. 9 instances of 'man' or 'male' in your post... You have weird priorities, and probably some attitudes that you're gonna need to reel in a bit in this organization.
 

Loachman

Former Army Pilot in Drag
Staff member
Directing Staff
Reaction score
451
Points
980
Yes...

First two paragraphs, okay.

Second two, not so much.
 

CountDC

Army.ca Veteran
Reaction score
15
Points
480
True but if you take out the sexual titles (male/female) references and just leave it as adult it does come through better and the message doesn't get so lost. 
 

brihard

Army.ca Fixture
Mentor
Reaction score
2,103
Points
990
CountDC said:
True but if you take out the sexual titles (male/female) references and just leave it as adult it does come through better and the message doesn't get so lost.

Nah, Loachman called it. The post can be redeemed by omitting the third and fourth paragraphs entirely, but that's about it.
 

Loachman

Former Army Pilot in Drag
Staff member
Directing Staff
Reaction score
451
Points
980
I tried reading it that way and, yes, it was not as bad, but still wasn't great.
 

Xylric

Member
Reaction score
0
Points
210
I'm from a very Scottish family, so in a few ways I understand where the OP was coming from. I was originally going to apply to the military after I finished my degree in 2006, but a conversation with my grandfather meant that I promised him that I would not do so until he gave his blessing - given that his temper was hereditary, he wanted to me to be absolutely sure that I had both the personal maturity and discipline for it. We had a conversation in which he gave his blessing to the venture about this time last year, because he saw how gracefully I handled the news that my grandmother had an inoperable form of cancer and would be undergoing radiation treatment.

I'm 34, so in all honesty I didn't need any sort of family blessing to embark on this path, but the reality is that I was closer to my grandfather than anyone, and with his having been raised 7th Day Adventist, he was every bit as much a pacifist/non-violent person as Desmond Doss (who also elected to give up violence because of his temper). With the fact that his elder brother went MIA in Italy during WWII (fortunately only for a period of 3 months before paperwork stating which hospital he was in arrived), I could not blame him for the apprehension that he felt over the idea of one of his grandsons seeking to follow in those footsteps (I happen to share my name with said great uncle), so I was honestly surprised when he changed his attitude.
 

Phoebe4444

Guest
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Hello all, I am looking to enlist in the army but due to prior committments I am unable to go to basic until January. I was wondering if anyone knew if you are able to enlist but deley your basic training date?
 

mariomike

Moderator
Staff member
Directing Staff
Subscriber
Mentor
Reaction score
378
Points
1,130
Phoebe4444 said:
I was wondering if anyone knew if you are able to enlist but deley your basic training date?

I'm not aware of a Program. But, you may find this discussion of interest,

Declining an offer (merged)
https://army.ca/forums/threads/104645.50
5 pages.
"So I was wondering if 1: Can you delay your entry for a set period of time?"

As always, Recruiting is your most trusted source of official, up to date information.
 

da1root

Moderator
Staff member
Directing Staff
Subscriber
Reaction score
21
Points
380
As a side note - generally a recruiting file (even "clean" files) can take anywhere from 4+ months to be fully processed.  There are times when files go quicker, but personally I wouldn't wait until the ability to do BMQ/BMOQ comes into play - I'd apply sooner if i were you.
 

Gregt-rex

Guest
Reaction score
0
Points
10
Greetings,
I am waiting for my application to go thru(security clearance stage), however, I had a question about getting the phone call or email with the position. Will they tell you right away when you have to show up for BMQ or is that only after you accept? Also, If I start a job(contract) or training, and they phone me in the middle of my contract/training and offer me a position can I accept the position but ask to be sent to a BMQ once my contract/training course is over(same year just maybe a few months, or will you loose your application?
Thank you
 

mariomike

Moderator
Staff member
Directing Staff
Subscriber
Mentor
Reaction score
378
Points
1,130
Gregt-rex said:
If I start a job(contract) or training, and they phone me in the middle of my contract/training and offer me a position can I accept the position but ask to be sent to a BMQ once my contract/training course is over(same year just maybe a few months, or will you loose your application?

You may find this discussion of interest,

Declining an offer (merged)
https://army.ca/forums/threads/104645.0
6 pages.
OP: Would you have to go through the same process again?

As always, Recruiting is your most trusted source of information.

"Unofficial site, not associated with DND or the Canadian Armed Forces."

 

Gregt-rex

Guest
Reaction score
0
Points
10
mariomike said:
You may find this discussion of interest,

Declining an offer (merged)
https://army.ca/forums/threads/104645.0
6 pages.
OP: Would you have to go through the same process again?

As always, Recruiting is your most trusted source of information.

"Unofficial site, not associated with DND or the Canadian Armed Forces."

Thank you very much
 
Top