Did you just hear that!?!

[Bintheredunthat]

A little fun topic of funny things heard on the radio.  Share yours, I've heard a few doozies myself over the past X years.

I've heard a Coy OC (let's say C/S 39) with the annoying habit of always giving the "out" to Zero.  I don't want to argue the rules of the ACP 125 or anything - but he basically gave an Out to EVERY transmission.  Here's an example of the conversation - and the fixing of a problem that had been going on all exercise:

39 DE 0 - Send sitep over
0 DE 39 - Wait Out
Slight pause
39 DE 0 - I require a sitrep from your C/S now over
0 DE 39 - I'm compliling that information and will get back to you - out (little did 39 know that 9 was standing over the operator's shoulder asking for that info)
Slight pause - While the Commander is handed the microphone
39 DE 0......Niner speaking over
39 Send over

The conversation went on for about 20 transmissions while the Commander painfully "made" 39 say "over" at the end of every transmission.  It was quite funny to hear 39 nearly say "out" about 10 times because of his bad habit of having the last word.  It was even funnier when he did say "Out" to feel the collective gasp from all stations on the net with the thought of "Oh NO you didn't!" - then followed by "39 Correction, Roger Over".

Ok - enough from me.

Bin

 

[Roy Harding]

"Pizza, pizza, pizza, over"

C/S 0 - "Unknown callsign - identify yourself, over"

Unknown callsign - "I'm crazy, not stupid - out"

True story - Wainwright in the early '80s.  I was unknown callsign, and I was freakin' hungry.

 

[PMedMoe]

Well, I didn't say it on the radio, but sitting in the Amb at a relay point and the hourly check comes:

"Radio check, over."

I look at my Amb partner and say, "Yep, it's still here!"  ;D

What can I say, it was oh-dark-stupid and we were giddy.

 

[George Wallace]

When we taught Comms at the Armour School, we had many tongue twisters for Code Words, Nicknames, etc.  One that still stands out was the last Serial of one of the Comms Exercises:

All Stations, This is Zero.  Hoof Hearted.  Over.

11 Hoof Hearted Over
12 Hoof Hearted Over
13 Hoof Hearted Over
and on and on until the last C/S had done his thing to hear.....
All Stations, This is Zero. Hoof Hearted OUt.   

Of course you had to be there to truly appreciate it.

 

[Bintheredunthat]

Hmmm....Hoof Hearted.

Not that I was part of that course, but I think that one sounds familiar.  Might have even been one of the dummies to have said that one over the air and not even have known it.  ???  At least I didn't go to Stores looking for Routing Indicators I guess.

One that I remember was a guy was giving me "Poach Habitat" over the air.  I honestly had no clue what he was saying and after about 10 say agains, I clued in that it was a code word.  Wow was he ever yelling into his mic at the end.  It was a long time ago, he may have even used "I spell".  Ouch.

"What the hell is Poats Habidad??"  ;D

Bin

 

[PMedMoe]

Try all the Pokemon characters!  :  I preferred the rock bands.  8)

 

[navymich]

Nothing beats that great feeling when you finally catch a Know-It-All in the act and have to send him a Beadwindow! ;D  Knocks them down a few pegs and makes everyone's life a bit easier.

 

[211RadOp]

My favorite with RTT was to send "ZBM2". But that's for another tail.

Once while working "0" with 4 Bde, 1 and 3 (I believe) started carrying on a conv in French. Now, I have no problems with the French, but on the Comd Net in 4 Bde, it was english. So being the diligent operator that I am, I came on and said:

"1, 3 this is 0, this is and english only net, out."

Next transmission was:

"0 this is 1, this is a bilingual net, over"
"0, this is an english only net, out"

This went on a few times until the duty officer at C/S 1 got the idea. About 5 mins later, the CCO came in and asked if I was the duty operator at the time, to which I responded in the positive. The CCO said "Good work" and that he would sort out the other call signs.

 

[MOOXE]

I used to enjoy jamming other call signs. Just randomly keying the mic during thier messages to other stations. The resulting squabbles over whos comms were bad were pretty funny. The say agains and words twice just added to it. I'm over it now... but whenever my comms are bad I always raise an eyebrow and wonder whos out there.

 

[Steve 1 RNFLDR]

I once spent a good ten minutes sitting in the Camp Julien TOC listening to some fool leaning on the PTT while eating what I would assume was a tube of Pringles or Lays. 

 

[rmc_wannabe]

A buddy of mine was telling me of his first CP shift here at 1 Bde.

0 this is 99, send locstat over

0 uh...wait- out.

Supervising Cpl turns around whistling...
30 minutes elapse and 99 comes in none to pleaded about being told to wait out  ;D

 

[Yrys]

Slight civilian tangent

Once while working "0" with 4 Bed, 1 and 3 (I believe) started carrying on a Con in French.

Next transmission was:

"0 this is 1, this is a bilingual net, over"

Is there "net" that are bilingual ? Wouldn't that be impractical for anglophones that aren't bilingual, having to ask for a translation/repetition in English ?

(Is there a French one? )

 

[meni0n]

English brigades got english net, french one has french. To have a bilingual net would just be confusing and hilarious.

 

[davidk]

English brigades got english net, french one has french. To have a bilingual net would just be confusing and hilarious.

I've been on militia exercises where English and French units were both participating. With no clear instructions, it's more frustrating than anything else...

 

[PuckChaser]

Slight civilian tangent

Is there "net" that are bilingual ? Wouldn't that be impractical for anglophones that aren't bilingual, having to ask for a translation/repetition in English ?

(Is there a French one? )

I've seen a bilingual net overseas. The Tank Squadron ran one, since all the infanteers were francophones and the engineers were 50/50. It worked fairly well, and items were translated for those that didn't understand. The Recce Pl Comd ran his net bilingual for my crew during an Operation, mostly because my french was rusty.

What meni0n said is true, however. The battlegroups deploying from Valcartier always run French radio nets for the brigade, and higher.

 

[Fusaki]

True story, Kabul - Op Athena Roto 3 :warstory:

A buddy of mine was a PL signaller, a 031 but generally a pretty checked out comms dude. There he is, sitting cooped up in a LAV turret, struggling for God knows how long to get the damn comms working. For reasons unexplained, he just couldn't get it to work. Eventually he looses it, totally just flips his lid:

"I FUCKING HATE THIS LAV! I FUCKING HATE COMMS! I FUCKING HATE CAMP JULIEN AND I FUCKING HATE AFGHANISTAN!"

Sure enough, his comms problem stemmed from the fact that he was sitting on the PTT switch (doh!) and was broadcasting loud and clear in the TOC.  There were many who had a laugh at his expense. ;D

 

[Jager]

Nice...I would of enjoyed hearing that .





<Edit> Pressed the stupid button early

 

[TN2IC]

Sure enough, his comms problem stemmed from the fact that he was sitting on the PTT switch (doh!) and was broadcasting loud and clear in the TOC.  There were many who had a laugh at his expense. ;D

I have heard of a MDO snoring on the two way while waiting for the dispatcher to call. Nobody could broadcast until we track down the driver sleeping.

 

[Fusaki]

I have heard of a MDO snoring on the two way while waiting for the dispatcher to call. Nobody could broadcast until we track down the driver sleeping.

Heh. I hear ya man. Every dumbass says "It's not me on the PTT switch! It must be in a different boat! Quit hassling me!" Untill you personally check every single fucking headset.

Me: "You're not sitting on the PTT swich, eh? Then what the fuck is this?"

Response: "uhhhhh... I guess it was me"

"Yes, it was you. Can we continue with the war now, jackass?"

Nothing pisses me off more. :rage:

 

[rmc_wannabe]

0 - AS this is 0, RC -Over
1 through 5 LC
7 and 8 LC
6 nothing heard out

6 this is 0, 6 this is 0 radio check, radio check over.

(this continues on for 20 minutes)

3 this is 0, move to 6's location and assist if necessary, out
(15 minutes pass)

0 this is 3, 6 is fast asleep and locked in his hatch over.

*sigh* 0 , roger, wake his ass up out.