Jokes we play on new guys

[aesop081]

Well as an example of what happens when military personnel LACK intelligence:

    We had a supply NCO (corporal) tasked to the platoon, and within the first 5 minutes we could tell he wasn't quite all there.   One of the sct. cmdrs then suggested that the good corporal should go fetch us the keys to the Mod-tents so we could go look them over.   He proceeded to pull out a pen and paper in order to write down what we wanted.   At this point, his driver (a private) grabbed him by the shoulders, turned him around, and said "I'm getting you out of here before they kill you".   So for the rest of the summer we had a Pte. for our supply NCO and a corporal to do odd-jobs and provide amusement.

    On a seperate occasion, after being asked to bring a C6 tool-roll from a nearby pile, the same individual dissapeared for about 10 minutes, and, after much cursing on our part, returned with 2 rolls of paper towel.

    Obviously a certain level of intelligence is a pre-requisite for any job

How about asking a guy to go paint the fire picket ?

a roll of contour line ?

The BFA for the 84 ?

the spare bubble for the level ?

 

[48Highlander]

How about asking a guy to go paint the fire picket ?

a roll of contour line ?

The BFA for the 84 ?

the spare bubble for the level ?

    Oh there's a bunch of those and I don't blame new guys for falling for them.  But when a Corporal who's supposed to be in charge of our logistics falls for it....well, it's not a very good sign

    On a related note, I had the unfortiunate opportunity to find out that Meaford really DOES have keys for the parade square.  I say unfortiunate because, when told by a WO to get them, I laughed and told him to...well, you can imagine.

 

[aesop081]

    Oh there's a bunch of those and I don't blame new guys for falling for them.   But when a Corporal who's supposed to be in charge of our logistics falls for it....well, it's not a very good sign

    On a related note, I had the unfortiunate opportunity to find out that Meaford really DOES have keys for the parade square.   I say unfortiunate because, when told by a WO to get them, I laughed and told him to...well, you can imagine.

Petawawa was the same. The parade square neer the fron gate had chains across the entrances and they were locked.............imagine my surprise when a new guy was sent to see the RSM of 2 CER to get the keys and he actualy came back with them.......i was like " what now ?"

 

[48Highlander]

That's awesome  ;D  There's a similar story about an airforce guy and a "sky-hook", although given the dificulty to which said individual had to go through to get the damn thing, I'm not sure if the story's true.

 

[George Wallace]

Then be careful not to send a guy off for a Skyhook or a Tarp stretcher.  The Chopper Sqns have Skyhooks and there actually is a tarp-stretcher somewhere in circus Bn.

Always loved the ploy to give a NFG a bucket on the IMR and tell him to clean up the range and pick up all the laser dots.

Gw

 

[aesop081]

That's awesome   ;D   There's a similar story about an airforce guy and a "sky-hook", although given the dificulty to which said individual had to go through to get the damn thing, I'm not sure if the story's true.

I gave a guy a bucket full of pink, summer windsheild washer fluid and told him that the APC had to have its IR coating re-applied.......gave him a mop too........so there he was.........

 

[George Wallace]

I see the skyhook story has gotten around.  Time to start a new thread.....

GW

 

[aesop081]

The there's checking the tire pressure in the roadwheels of the APC.......

go to the QM and ask for a long stand........

Use the tuning fork to tighten the track.....

 

[48Highlander]

I gave a guy a bucket full of pink, summer windsheild washer fluid and told him that the APC had to have its IR coating re-applied.......gave him a mop too........so there he was.........

    Hopefuly our Ukranian friend will have a similar experience    Should knock him down a peg or two.

    Get a bottle of prop-wash.  An Iltis turret.  A box of frequencies.  500m of flight-line.

 

[aesop081]

    Hopefuly our Ukranian friend will have a similar experience     Should knock him down a peg or two.

My favorite is telling driver tracked students that they have to grease the bearings of the coupola.  In order to do this they have to remove the coupola by turning it 100 time to the right !!!  Stand back and watch

 

[George Wallace]

My favorite is telling driver tracked students that they have to grease the bearings of the coupola. In order to do this they have to remove the coupola by turning it 100 time to the right !!! Stand back and watch

Not as silly as watching a guy after you told him the secret combination to unlock the turret of a tank for maintainance.   Why sure, 33 turns to the left, 24 to the right and then 15 to the left and back to Zero and it'll pop right off so that you can check the turret ring.......By the way did you talc all the rubber?

GW

 

[Veterans son]

How about asking a guy to go paint the fire picket ?

a roll of contour line ?

The BFA for the 84 ?

the spare bubble for the level ?

Great post aesop081! ;D ;D

 

[chrisf]

A box of frequencies.  

Or if the radio is stuck, frequency oil.

 

[Korus]

Could one of you go grab me a box of grid squares and a 100 meters of shore line?

 

[Fusaki]

Within a few months of getting to battalion, one of the older Pte's tried to send me to Foxtrot CQ to get a Box of Frequencies. So I look at him and I say "What? A DTD?". And the guy gives me this blank stare, so I repeat myself: "You want a DTD, right? A little black box with frequencies and crypto?". So he looks confused for a second, and I start to catch on that I'm being toyed with (They just don't hand DTDs out to anyone, right?). Then before things got any worse, my buddy pointed out to him that the majority of my short time with the battalion was spent on a Basic Comms course, and that it was obvious I knew more about frequencies then I did about pranks played on new Ptes. ;D

 

[Baloo]

Had a hell of a time watching one guy on our BIQ course. We were in Meaford, and were heading to hand the weapons in, when all of a sudden this guy flies out into the hallway, runs back up the stairs to our rooms, and frantically looks for something. He came out with such a dejected look. Upon asking the problem, he said the staff had asked if he remembered the BFA for the mortar. The silence was unbelievable. Needless to say, it stuck around.  ;D

 

[chrisf]

Consider it a good lesson... anytime you publically claim to be more intelligent to somone else, they will immediately do their best to disprove you. After hour 4 of searching for somthing that doesn't exist, you will realise the error of your ways, return, and recieve your slice of humble pie.

 

[*Grunt]

Alright so I joined when I was 17, along with a friend of mine. It ends up we both get our phone calls  on the same day and a couple weeks down the road ship off to BMQ together. So naturally we stuck together, and watched each others back, you know making sure all the lint was off our uniforms for inspection, checking things over..ect ect..We also knew the lock combo's to our green lockers (just incase we forgot them, itd be a fun time explaining this to our master bombadeer) so one day I dont know around week 6 he made it down for breakfast before I did, we had to hurry that day becuase we had to do a ruckmarch with our pissed off WO. So of all the days to play a prank on me he had to pick this day, he decided it would be funny to open my locker and remove my; helmet,webbing,and stinky bag, and put it in a different locker, then go to his appointment for meds.

So after my breakfast getting ready to gear and lineup with the rest of my platoon for our march, to my surprise my locker is empty and my lock missing. I have never been so freaked out in my life. Needless to say I thought someone snapped my lock and stole my gear, as did the two corprals who were now both yelling toe to two with me inches away from my face. After much embarrasment from the many passing platoons, and other intructors they eventually sent me lose to double check my locker.To my surprise I noticed a lock on the locker beside mine which had none before today. I tried my combo and sure enough inside was all the stuff I thought I lost and just finished getting chewed out for.

I returned to the eagerly awaiting Corprals wearing my gear, one shook his head laughing and walked
away, but the other was pissed.."Glad to see you found your gear pte." he said loud enough to echo in the halls, "Now come follow me!" he said agrily, I just stared ahead and followed. Needless to say we alot of PT, then upoun rejoining my platoon we did more. So basically that was my worst expirence at basic, I never reported my friend for what he did, I just took the lock off his barracks locker, there was a scarecrow made with his stuff upoun returning the evening...... :threat:

 

[Pugnacious]

Priceless! ;D

Cheers!
P.

 

[spenco]

go to the QM and ask for a long stand........

Hehehe my english teacher did this on one of my classmates in grade 8... he waited for the long stand for around an hour.  ;D