Lumber said:Well, I don't think anyone here can really say what's best for you and yours...
That being said, I know the Army Reserves are a bit different than the Naval Reserves, but the reserves in general are pretty relaxed when it comes to commitments.
The CO at the Naval Reserve unit I worked at had a saying: "Family First, then you Civi Job, then the Reserves".
There is no minimum number of days that you MUST attend drill and training. If you have legitimate reasons not to be at weekly drill and training, that is fine. The key here is that it must be legitimate, and it must be communicated.
If you can NEVER make it to weekend exercises because of family issues, but CAN make it to every weekly parade night, GREAT! Just make sure your chain of command knows. If in the same situation, something comes up on Monday and you can't make it to that week's weekly training night, that's fine too! Call you Army boss up (or text) and explain it to him!
Finally, if you need to take some time away from the reserves for an extended period of time, you can go on ED&T (exempt drill & training). It basically exempts you from showing up to ANY drill and training during period for which you are on ED&T, which can be for up to a year... I believe... (I'd verify that...) You can go on ED&T for just about any reason. Going away to college for the year? ED&T until next summer. Going backpacking in Europe with your buddies for a month? ED&T for a month. Whatever it is, there is a process for it, and it should be approved (I'm not even sure it can be denied, truth be told...).
Anywas, your mileage may vary, because the Army PRes works a bit different then the Navy PRes, but on our side, we would take only as much as you were willing and able to give, and we didn't make you stress about your civilian job or family life just so you can show up on Tuesday night and attend lectures.
I see, you make some good points I am thinking about ED&T maybe instead. If for some reason during my ED&T time period and I need to VR, would that look worse or no difference ? aka can I still do the 4C, VR.