Aging parents and care

[always_learning]

well recently a friends situation has got me thinking about my parents and their future more as well as mine.  to begin with I'm worried about their future.  we were pretty poor growing up but my parents worked super long hours and worked their butts off to support us even though funds were always tight growing up. but as they get closer to retirement age I'm worried that they do not have anything really saved up and don't even have a house since all they could afford was to rent an apartment.  now I'm worried that when they can't work anymore and what will happen to them and how I am going to help provide for them.  Im currently a CPL so sadly I don't make much and am worried about how to care for them as they get older, they currently live in toronto and have issues if they were to move anywhere else because my mother does not speak english fluently and all of their friends are in the toronto area so would not want to move them anywhere.  but than comes the cost of living there where rent for a cheap apartment is 1k minimum in a ok area in the cheaper areas not including expenses which would be another 1k minimum with a tight budget.  now a CPL 4  pay after tax is around 3400/month so that would not leave me much left with 1400 to live on and i can live on that if i live very frugally with little to no savings but will not leave any room for unexpected expenses.  so that got me to rethink my whole career in the CF now if i can afford to stay in.  If I got a civi job there would be chance to make overtime pay and be in toronto where i could cut down on expense by living with my family. I'm just wondering if anyone else is in the same situation or has been or know anyone that is and how they made out.  If my parents were dependants would i receive any benefits or allowances?  now I'm exploring options here could i stay in the CF and support them at the same time or would I have to get out and try my best civy side.  i don't know why but today this has been on my mind all day.

 

[Remius]

Welcome to the sandwich generation.  Sadly this is becoming more and more common.  My parents are well off and well established but my significant other's are not and in the next few years we'll be needing to address their situation given that her siblings have issues of their own, it'll be up to us to shoulder that burden.

 

[GAP]

You guys are not giving enough credit to your parents.

They know what's coming, their resources, and, unless they are infirm, have already rolled with the hard knocks of life. Cutting back/resizing/etc. is already in the scenerio.

I want my kids to live their own lives....without me supporting them, nor with them supporting me.

I will do just fine thank you. I may not have all the bells and whistles, but I'm short of breath to blow that whistle anyway........ :2c:

 

[Edward Campbell]

People of a certain age need to read this.

It will offend some, it will be against the beliefs of some others, but it is something we should all understand.

 

[GAP]

She hit the nail on the head....excellent article....

 

[medicineman]

People of a certain age need to read this.

It will offend some, it will be against the beliefs of some others, but it is something we should all understand.

See it every day at work...

 

[Edward Campbell]

See it every day at work...

I'm sure.

Some of you must deal with this professionally, some others must cope with it personally. Dementia terrifies me. Mrs Bennett is, even after death, a beacon of sanity ... for me, not for everyone.

 

[expwor]

My mother has early signs of dementia but as of yet doesn't need home care.  But it will come
And my father, while not dementia, died of cancer last year.  His last six months were horrible.
JMHO but there is a BIG difference between living and existing.  Yes you can be kept alive with tubes through your nose to breathe, feeding tubes in you for sustenance, ports surgically installed to daily drain fluids off your lungs, have to be changed everyday because you can't go to the washroom.  You are existing, and it's a horrible existence. But it's not living.  It's also an existence I wouldn't wish on anyone.  And when death came for my father, then came peace for him and his family and friends, and closure

Tom

 

[always_learning]

well i have been worrying about this all day for some reason and it got me worried for some reason, to the point that i had trouble sleeping.  would the cf provide any help for people that are in that kind of situation?

 

[Bruce Monkhouse]

What kind of help?