# The Better Approach



## Mediman14 (24 Apr 2016)

We all know that today's Military has changed so much over the years. Gone are the days of being direct and right to the point without someone taking offence. When talking to someone above or below you which is the better approach?

1) Being politically correct ?
                 or
2) Being brutally honest, direct, telling how it is,

Does the squeaky wheel always get it's Greece?

Any thoughts?


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## mariomike (24 Apr 2016)

Mediman14 said:
			
		

> Does the squeaky wheel always get it's Greece?



Sometimes the squeaky wheel gets replaced.  

The other three wheels get kicked to make sure they are still working.

( I believe it's "grease" by the way. )


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## SupersonicMax (24 Apr 2016)

Mediman14 said:
			
		

> We all know that today's Military has changed so much over the years. Gone are the days of being direct and right to the point without someone taking offence. When talking to someone above or below you which is the better approach?
> 
> 1) Being politically correct ?
> or
> ...



There is a way to be brutally honest, direct and telling it how it is without insulting someone or being disrespectful.  It's all how the message is delivered, not what the message is.


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## dapaterson (24 Apr 2016)

Mediman14 said:
			
		

> We all know that today's Military has changed so much over the years. Gone are the days of being direct and right to the point without someone taking offence. When talking to someone above or below you which is the better approach?
> 
> 1) Being politically correct ?
> or
> ...



Wow.  Just wow.

You can be direct and honest without being a raving asshole - that seems to be "the good old days" that people pine after.

And you may want to review your English language aphorisms - generally, you'll grease a squeaky wheel to stop if from squeaking.  Squeaky wheels have very little to do with Greece.


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## RedcapCrusader (24 Apr 2016)

I have never had an instructor that has ever said anything directly insulting, rather it is something that is factual, and quite reasonably blunt and direct, which is *interpreted* as being an insult/offensive by some.

This is easily prevented by having a little life experience and realizing life is not always rainbows and marshmallows.

It's very, very simple to give corrective action without being vulgar or directly offensive while also being blunt and direct. It's your choice of words that makes the difference.

Rather than calling someone a "bloody fucking retard" for improper muzzle control you can say something like "how would you feel if you had injured or killed one of your own? Rather than fighting the enemy, you have become the enemy because nobody trusts you with a rifle." 

Huge difference, one is offensive, one is not. One delivers and effective corrective action, the other is simply derogatory.

Not to say I haven't heard someone be called the former, because I have, but I understood the importance of why it was said. Is it proper? Yes, however it delivered a message and the person that received it used it effectively. That said, not everyone would interpret that message in the same way.


The most effective message I had ever received that was soul crushing was from a Warrant Officer that I and many others looked up to for his combat experience, his prowess in military skills, and his incredible instructional skills... He simply said "I'm disappointed in you" and that was far more effective than anything any instructor has ever said to me.


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## Mediman14 (25 Apr 2016)

First of all, I apologize for my spelling/grammar!

I always liked being direct, and right to the point! I never use any vulgar language, but many people that I have worked with are just to sensitive!


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## SupersonicMax (25 Apr 2016)

Language is the easy thing to be careful with but is much less important than tone wrt how people interpret your message.  There are ways to be direct and to the point while still being very polite, show emphaty for the person and even motivate them to do better. I find this method works best.


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## Cloud Cover (25 Apr 2016)

Brevity and accuracy wins the day. Tone helps, expletives distract and threats of violence fail to be persuasive anymore.


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## Journeyman (25 Apr 2016)

whiskey601 said:
			
		

> Brevity and accuracy wins the day.


 :nod:



> Tone helps, expletives distract


Avoid expletives.....until you need them, but then using them (in limited a [usually singular] amount) will reinforce your message!



> and threats of violence fail to be persuasive anymore.


 Threats of violence towards subordinates marks one as an incompetent douche...because 99.99% of the time, it cannot happen.  My first meeting with an officer once had me arriving at the edge of the parade square as he yelled at the assembled masses "....and I'll fucking jail you!!"  Whatever the potential crime was, the troops rolled their eyes even more than I did.


Edit: typo.


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## Lumber (26 Apr 2016)

whiskey601 said:
			
		

> ....threats of violence fail to be persuasive anymore.



It's all in the delivery. If while on basic trg Gunnery Sergeant Hartman were to tell me he was going to "rip off my head and sh*t down my neck" if I didn't finish whatever task I was doing on time, I would be quite motivated, and really not all that insulted.


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## Steve_D (26 Apr 2016)

Wording and tone of voice is very important. Remember, diplomacy is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a manner that they look forward to the trip.

And end your "brutally honest" presentation with something positive, like that you have faith in the individual. Always leave on a high note.


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## RADOPSIGOPACCISOP (27 Apr 2016)

Lumber said:
			
		

> It's all in the delivery. If while on basic trg Gunnery Sergeant Hartman were to tell me he was going to "rip off my head and **** down my neck" if I didn't finish whatever task I was doing on time, I would be quite motivated, and really not all that insulted.



Random empty threats don't gain you respect or even credibility. Never threaten something you don't intend to follow through with. Otherwise people will just ignore you as a loud mouthed wind bag.


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## Eye In The Sky (27 Apr 2016)

No one solution to every possible situation, however you can be honest without being a fucktard about it.

To quote my mom;  "it's not what you say, it's how you say it".

Sometimes you'll want to use more carefully considered language (I did when I was at a HQ, say, briefing the COS when I was sitting in for the branch head at the O Gp), other times you'll want to be 'brutally honest', to the point and such (example, when a point involves safety, or danger, or perhaps a student is not properly motivating themselves).

So, I'd say it is situation dependent.   :2c:


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## mariomike (27 Apr 2016)

RADOPSIGOPACISSOP said:
			
		

> Random empty threats don't gain you respect or even credibility. Never threaten something you don't intend to follow through with. Otherwise people will just ignore you as a loud mouthed wind bag.



Couldn't resist.


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