# How to get family on board



## sgt_mandal

Are there any suggestions on what I can say to my parents to persuade them to let me join the reserves? The main problem is that they think I am going to be called to war as soon as i join up.

Help? Please?!


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## chrisf

That if that was the case, you‘d be the only reservist forced to go off to war since WWII?


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## stukirkpatrick

Thats the classic parental stance...  Try reasoning with them, explain to them that you can‘t be sent on any operation outside of Canada without your permission.  

Furthermore, the reserves offer a lot.  They can give you greater independence, as well as better teamwork skills, they give you a sense of pride in your country, it looks good on a resume, you have the chance to learn a trade (er, for non-combat arms-related stuff) but you still learn good general working skills.

Plus, the pay isn‘t horrible - you make a lot of money in the summer that can be put towards higher education (or a car etc...), and your work hours are flexible in case of school/family/other important occasions.


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## scm77

Tell them it‘s what you want to do.  If they don‘t want their son (or daughter) to serve their country they have problems.


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## combat_medic

No Canadian reservist has been ordered to go on a mandatory operation since 1945. Even the Korean war didn‘t call up the reserves.


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## Pte.Nomercy

sgt_mandal,

If you think your parents are tough letting you join, you should have met mine. Both were hard-core hippies, my dad was a guitarist in a successful band during the 60's while my mum was a sensitive tree hugging hippie.

When I first told them, years ago, about it they had a fit! â Å“Oh you're gonna go to war and get killed!â ? â Å“Oh they're gonna brain wash you!â ? â Å“You'll be a machine you no thoughts and free thinking!â ? and etc and etc....

I sat down with them and talked them all through and convinced them, with the help of many recruiter phone calls, that told them there was NO WAY I was going anywhere or doing anything, that I didn't approve of and that I could leave whenever I wanted.

Also, what helped a HUGE DEAL was showing them all the money I'd make in one summer, not to mention the university benefits that the reserves give if you qualify.

What you need to do is â Å“brain washâ ? your parents, and give them a taste of their own medicine. Your job, if you want to get in, is to bombard them with all the good stuff you'll get through joining as I described above, money, experience, skills etc.


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## tree hugger

My father once said "No daughter of mine is ever going to go in the military!"  He himself was in the air force for 26 years.  He has since "lightened" up, and is very proud of me.  

PS.  Nothing wrong with another tree hugger around!


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## Michael Dorosh

> Originally posted by combat_medic:
> [qb] No Canadian reservist has been ordered to go on a mandatory operation since 1945. Even the Korean war didn‘t call up the reserves. [/qb]


No Canadian reservist has ever been ordered overseas before 1945, either.  Conscription was done under the National Resources Mobilization Act - NRMA men were not reservists, as I understand it, but am open to correction.  The Non-Permanant Active Militia was renamed the Canadian Army (Reserve) in 1940, and operated as the Militia does today.  I don‘t believe these guys were sent overseas, and until November 1944, full time soldiers in Canada had to volunteer for General Service (for which they were permitted to wear the GS badge) and then and only then were they able to be sent overseas.   

November 1944 changed that, but I still don‘t know that members of the Canadian Army (Reserve) were part of the 16,000 draftees that were sent to Europe.  I would suspect they weren‘t.


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## combat_medic

Sorry if that was unclear. I was referring rather to the mobilization of reserve units by Parliament during WWII.


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## Michael Dorosh

Reserve units weren‘t mobilized, though.  A brand new force was created, called the Canadian Active Service Force (CASF).  When they went overseas in 1939-40, the regiments still had depots in Canada, and eventually reconstituted themselves as "second battalions" - the Seaforths had a 2nd Battalion in Canada, for example.

All the soldiers of the CASF had to be attested, just as they did for the CEF.  So while a unit called the Seaforth Highlanders of Canada (CASF) went overseas with the First Division in December 1939, it wasn‘t technically a case of the reserves being "mobilized" though they did call it that.  The NPAM unit still existed, and in November 1940 was formalized as the 2nd Battalion, Seaforth Highlanders of Canada in accordance with Order in Council PC 6645, and later General Order 273.

Every member of the CASF was a volunteer, so saying they were "mobilized" may lead to confusion, especially given the context of the current discussion.   You said no reservist has ever been made to go on a mandatory operation since 1945.  That was also the case pre-1946.


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## Pieman

sgt_mandal,

If it is possible, perhaps you should take your parents with you down to your local CFRC. They would be able to get a lot of info and I suspect that by talking with a recruiter it would be a real eye-opener.

Also, maybe you could request a tour of a base nearest to you. That would be interesting for your parents and yourself. I have no idea if you can actually get a tour, but ask your recruiter.

It is possible they would have a very different opinion when they get a better understanding of the CF and how it works.


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## greymatter

My mom said the same thing. "Thats not lady like, the military is for men!"
on the other hand my dad who was in a few years back said it would be good for me. Since I‘m under 18 they had to sign for me. 
I printed out postive articles and infomation for my mom to read, then she said it was fine, and when your parents are not supportive it makes you want to try harder   
good luck sgt_mandal! i hope everything goes well.


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## Michael OLeary

Backgrounder - The Canadian Forces Reserve -  July 16, 1998 

You parents may find sections of this backgrounder informative. See the section titled Employment of Reservists.



> Reservists on any class of reserve service *may volunteer* for employment on operational duty. Such operational duty may include either domestic operations such as aid in the maintenance of public order and security, emergency relief and the pursuit of national development goals through the provision of armed and unarmed assistance to civil authorities, or international peacekeeping operations. *Members of the Reserve must consent to serve on the specific operation.*


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## sgt_mandal

WOW!
Thank you all for all this help and support! It is kinda working, yet not thorougly. Please keep posting suggestions!

thankfully,
     sgt_mandal


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## CI Dumaran

Hey Mandal...

I‘ll take you down to the TORONTO CFRC sometime, we can stop by beavers too...

I‘m not sure if you‘ve been down to 4900 Young CFRC if not... you‘ll find that talk with a recruiter very very helpful. Heck, you can bring your parents too.

Plus, you get lots of literature that will help you decide, and info fo your parents.

Good luck! I‘ll talk to you about it sometime.

Have you made considerations on what unit you are going to join, if you and when you convince your parents?


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## sgt_mandal

I want to join the Queens Own, if i ever get to convince my parents.


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## Dogboy

convincing my family is not so hard. But how do i convince my wife to let me enlist? 
shes sure ill be gone for over a year, and have to kill people, and get killed for sure . 
I know that i MAY have to shoot in anger, and i may die in a horrible event, 
but what are the real chances of that?
any thoughts ? ???

P.S. this board is very helpful for people wanting a strait answer before enlisting.
thanks all


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## kmcc

I think my head is going to fall off. 
I'm sick of people telling me I'm crazy for wanting to join the army. I'm sick of people telling me I won't make it. My father "doesn't want his baby girl to be a grunt" but has said that he will be damn proud and will probably cry when I get sworn in. My brother says I'm crazy and the pay is peanuts, barely beer money. I'm not joining for the pay, I'm joining because it feels right to me. The rest of my family pretty much holds the same view. My best friend, the one person who has supported me no matter what, thinks I'm crazy and will get killed. The only person that really supports me is my mother but thats another problem right there. She makes it seem like I have no other choice anymore because it looks like my father will be laid off next winter(thanks Danny Williams, you bas****) and I probably won't qualify for student loans so the forces is my only option for an education. I went back to high school for another year to get my math mark higher and just...Argh! I know I shouldn't be complaining, other people have it allot worse than I do. at least I have one source of support. Everything is just starting to get to me and my head feels like its going to explode.
Is anyone going through what I am or already has? is there any advice you can give me?


I'm sorry if this bothers anyone, I just really needed to vent. If this is inappropriate, off topic or doesn't make sense just tell me and I'll delete it


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## David Price

Kmcc,

Moral courage is defined as doing what you believe is right in the face of those who would denigrate you for following your beliefs.  In the end, it's your life.  You have to live it as you see fit.  The only person who has to live with the consequences of your actions is you.  

I am probably ten to fifteen years older than you are, and my parents and family said the same thing.  I found this interesting given that they have enjoyed the benefits of living in a free society paid for in blood by our grandfathers and great uncles, who did not ask what was in it for them when the call came.  My aunts and uncles have all done well for themselves, partly because of the security and freedom our military has provided them, past and present.  You may have to resign yourself to the eventuality that some people just don't get it.

With respect, if your father has not made adequate provision for your postsecondary education, he has no right to discourage you from taking the mature route and providing for yourself using any means you can devise.  I can only hope that my own children will show the same initiative.  Be absolutely sure, however, that you know what you are getting yourself into.  Access absolutely all sources of information you can so you will be aware precisely of what you are getting yourself into.  

That's my oh so not expert opinion.

Good luck


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## arctictern

My parents said a similar thing, my mom was like "OH I don't want my baby to get killed" and my Dad still thinks the Army is like it is in those American movies from the 70's but he is glade that I know what I want to do with my life but he doesn't want me to leave.

One of the reasons I am joining though is because I hate living with my parents, and everything I am doing with my life right now. The sooner I get my call the sooner my life will begin. Hopefully they call me next week.

Kmcc, the Canadian military I believe is a great option and more people should be considering it as a choice after high school. If you haven't already checked out the recruiting forums FAQ section I got the link here in my post so you can check it out, it's got a wealth of information.


http://army.ca/forums/threads/17073.0.html


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## bigwig

This sort of relates to the thread of civvies being in the dark. All of the civilians that criticize you probably don't have the slightest idea of what the army is about (besides what they see the Americans doing in Iraq). Everyone automatically assumes that you will be immediately deployed to Iraq and get shot and that is that. I went through the same thing with my family. They thought I was crazy and I had no support going into it. I felt almost betrayed by my family because I grew up with them saying I could do anything I wanted to do when I grow up and they will support me. When I told them I'm going into the army they laughed at me and said "OK, I'll believe it when I see it" thinking I wasn't serious. I came home the next day with the application and then their faces looked a lot different from the day before.

It also makes me angry when people criticize others for joining because we are the only onces with the guts to do it. I don't think anyone should be criticized for defending their country, infact, I think they should be appraised for it.

So just do what you want to do and who cares what other people think, as long as you're happy.


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## kmcc

Thanks for your reply. If I had gone to college or plan to. the money would have been found, but I don't want to put my parents in that situation. I know what I'm getting myself into. I've been doing as much research as possible and I look forward to it.



			
				bigwig said:
			
		

> It also makes me angry when people criticize others for joining because we are the only onces with the guts to do it. I don't think anyone should be criticized for defending their country, infact, I think they should be appraised for it.
> 
> So just do what you want to do and who cares what other people think, as long as you're happy.


I completly agree.


edit: I forgot to add that I've been going through this for several months and have started the process of signing up. I'm going for 1. VEH TECH (411), MED A (737) and Sig Op (215)


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## white

I've also had the same experience of no support from anyone. The only person who has supported mefor trying to join the army was my mom everyone else says I'm an idiot. I've had one person tell me that if I get in and die when I'm on duty he would come to my funeral and say  "I told you you were an idiot for joining and now you're dead for nothing".  Even with all this negative talk and no support I will stop at nothing to try and join the army.


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## skura

The trick is to completely ignore anyone who says "You can't do it."   In my case it's kind of hard since it's my mom who's telling me she doesn't want me to go, but since she's my mom I know that deep down she's happy that I've made a decision I can stick with and happy that I now have a goal in life, and I'm sure everyone else's parents who say "They don't their baby do die / go" are just as proud as the parent who agrees with your decision.   Friends on the other hand are much easier to ignore, or even adults who arent related to you because no body knows you better then yourself, and if you want in the Army, then come heck or high water you will make it (if you really do want it as bad as you think you do, that is).   So take it from me, because I've been going though this "Don't join the _Canadian_ Army" ALL summer, and I still want in, even more then I did before.   Maybe you can chalk the negativity up towards motivation, and use it to become a better soldier.

Good luck in joining, BMQ, and everything else!  (not just Kmcc, but everyone who has to do this "alone")...


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## QORvanweert

Anyone who criticizes will admire you fourfold for sticking with your decision. I found that many of them wanted me to suceed but only were trying to cover their own arse in case it didn't work out... you made a great decision


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## scaddie

Yeah I know, I've been through this with all my family and friends too. My civi friends think I'm completely nuts, but it's only because they don't really understand what goes on in the army, and what is in it for me. It's not something that you have to do for your entire life, but it can certainly give you an idea or direction for your future. That's what I'm looking forward to. You just have to ignore it, but you can use it as motivation to do even better. I've worked for the forces this past two years, and have met some awesome people. Every single one of them is totally supportive of girls joining the army. They eventually convinced me to get in. If you want to chat, you can get me on MSN or ICQ.


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## AlphaCharlie

kmcc said:
			
		

> My brother says I'm crazy and the pay is peanuts, barely beer money



The check I just got cashed for $980 is a bit more than beer money. And that was just TD claim. (i.e. sleeping money)


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## arctictern

LoL just show them the pay scales and they'll see how wrong they are. I think for NCM's its minmum 45k a year after 5 years which is good and if you showed someone the pay scale for an officer they would probably sh!t them selves.


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## portcullisguy

The pay scales aren't _amazing_ but they are workable.  I doubt you'd be a MCpl after only 5 years in the regs, but the pay is comparable to other areas of the public service - which isn't surprising since the Treasury Board sets the pay for both the CF and the rest of the public service.

Four years ago, not only was I not in the army, but I wasn't even seriously considering joining.  I was in my third year working for customs, and looking forward to going permanent there, learning more of the job, and moving up in seniority and pay.  By the next year, I had become so fed up with some aspects of my job, and looked to the CF as a way of expanding the depth and breadth of my experiences, learning leadership and achieving positive goals outside of work that I could feel a sense of accomplishment for.

Fast forward to Sept. 2004 and here I am, conducting pre-deployment training for Op ATHENA.  My family and friends have been very supportive over the past three years, and I think they can see that this is what I want to do, this is the contribution I want to make and I'm serious about it all.

Kmcc, your family and friends will come around, too.  They will change their tune when they see that you are dedicated to helping yourself and others, learning new things, and serving your nation and its' citizens.

I find that here in Canada, we suffer from a sort of "crabs in the bucket" mentality -- the other crabs work together to keep the few from climbing out and escaping.  You will encounter the other crabs, working to keep you from getting out of the bucket, the naysayers and gloom-and-doom types.  But once you commit, once you show you are willing to make personal sacrifices, they'll come around, and they'll wish they had the personal drive and committment to follow your lead.


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## kmcc

When you calm down and read over what you've said you realize just how much you left out. I feel rather childish now because of that : I'm just going to continue to grin and bear it like I have been for the last 6 months. I'll just have to prove to them what I already know, that I'm going to be a damn good solider and will succeed in what I've chosen to do with my life 

 Kmcc


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## jswift872

2332Piper said:
			
		

> I'm looking forward to hearing the hippies call me a baby-killer and a war-mongeror when they find out, *its the 90's and I have kids at my school living in the '60's* using the slogans and everything. You just have to keep a stiff upper lip and do what you know is right.



last time i checked it was 04' lol, anyway..no one supported me, i was a alone person myself, and look at me, awaiting SQ, to start..All i have to say


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## Shulaev

Ha I voided my football(soccer) scholarship to be in the position that im in right now , imagine what my parents thought , but like the girl said it feels right and thats whats important , besides RMC is always an option .


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## IWannaBePPCLI

Kmcc   


I am going through what you are at this time, I have gotten ZERO support from my family, friends and anyone else i talk to.  I hope that you will have fun in the CF and I will just let you know, I'm all for you, and also i wanted to say what i'm going for, RHLI for the COOP BMQ and then RCR for fulltime Infantry.

I wish you luck in getting into the CF and I hope you like your job!!


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## skura

skura said:
			
		

> In my case it's kind of hard since it's my mom who's telling me she doesn't want me to go, but since she's my mom I know that deep down she's happy that I've made a decision I can stick with and happy that I now have a goal in life



What a load that was...just when I thought my mom was warming up to the thought of me in the army she walks in on me and my dad talking about my profession to be and says "that's right, help him get killed before he hits 20"...and then find out she thinks I don't respect her.

Funny how a situation can change just like that...


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## Chainsaw

For the longest time I though that I had no one to talk to about what I wanted to do with my life. I was right....until I TRIED talking to my friends! I now have one friend who supports what I'm doing, though she doesn't like it. But for me, the military is my calling, and I am not going to say no regardless of what people say. My parents especially are hounding me about my choice. My dad is indifferent to my opinion, and while my mom is a bit better, she as well thinks I should go to university and spend the rest of my life in some office. 

It's unfortunate that the people we care about cannot understand our drive, our urge to serve. I guess wanting to go PPCLI Infantry or the Combat Engineers isn't helping matters...

Meh, To hell with 'em!

Cheers,


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## QORvanweert

The worst type of person that you can ever run into is a "micheal moore" fan. not only have they wasted their entire lives memorizing obscure and highly dubious facts about the Bush administration, but they are extremely vocal about it. people like this, including my ex-girlfriend are spawn of the lower regions of the genetic cesspool. I have found that as I mentioned before my family supports me more then the public. I had always thought it would be the other way around... they are all alot easier to deal with if your answer them with more ridiculous facts then they are throwing at you.. a verbal pissin' contest but it works.


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## IWannaBePPCLI

QORvanweert,


I will give it a shot, I will try ANYTHING that may help me out!! 


Thanks.


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## BLACKBERRY

Kmcc why do you think you would not qualify for a student loan. Everbody and there brother who has applied for one and got it. I do not see a problem unless you are not a citizen. Also, who cares what people think of you joining. If you want to do it then do it, you will have many people supporting you once you are in


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## gun plumber

Wow...reading everyone's stories.
Makes me wonder if I was the only person who grew up in a military family?
Almost all of my reatives have all served in the military in one form or another,and those that have'nt have grown up with it around them.
I have relatives that have served in every major conflict since the Boer War,and when I announced to my mother that I was joining the military she said "It runs in your blood".
The proudest person was my grandfather.He was a carrer soldier and served overseas during WW2.
My advise to you:Be true to ones self.If YOUwant to do it,don't let anyones misguided notions stall your efforts.Afterall,whos going to basic,you or mom?


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## Bushman

damn, this is a very interesting thread...... i too am seriously thinking about joining the forces, both because i have always wanted a challenge, i get bored with regular jobs, i like to help people and i want to get into Search & Rescue later on. yet when i tell my circle of friends my goals, they lash out and call me everything from "corporate killer", "fascist" (really dislike that one), "baby killer", "loser" etc etc etc etc.....


makes me really pissed off. these people (no offence to my friends), seem content to sip their lattes and dictate how the world should be. BUT, what i find funny is none of these naysayers are able to take care of themselves. basic things like fixing their own vehicle, getting their own food, building or reparing their own house, going out and working a job when they need money etc.   Whatever happened to grabbing the bull by the horns and being self sufficient? instead they b***** about how the guvmint' owes them this and that, they tell the bank that they need a credit line to payoff their credit cards, i could on for hours but the point i'm trying to make is don't let the naysayers guilt you into not doing what YOU want to do with your life. I know i am going to be facing hurdles, but i do not want to be old looking back and always wondering "could i have done it"?> i would rather try and fail than not try at all. nuff said.

this motivational rant brought to you by Bushman!!   having said all this i need to go back out and finish changing the timing belt on my truck.     

 8)


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## mellow_minded

I was lucky enough to have parents who sort of support me in my decision.  Although I think they only do cause I'm only joining as a reserve.  What they don't know is that eventually I plan on going reg.   As for everyone else they seem to think that like the states we'll be getting in everyone else's issues and so we will always be at war.  Everyone has a conspiracy theory of some sort and thinks joining the army is pretty much like suicide.  I'm a proud   and I will be proud to serve my country... and despite everything... I think we as soldiers would make a bigger diffrence then any other job out there.  So I say stay strong and do what you believe is right.


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## Booya McNasty

My old man says the army brought out the worst in me and the best in me.  When he says worst, he means the parts of the army that cause new recruits to swear, drink and womanize.  (I'm mostly done with the swearing and womanizing.   :crybaby  He also knows that the army has sorted my life right out.  Everything that I am today is directly because of the army.  Just to name a few:   physical fitness, my responsibility, indifference to physical hardship, the ability to get any job done under any circumstances without excuses and my integrity are all valuable life skills that I have taken from the CF.

Don't let yourself be changed by someone else's beliefs.  (Unless that other person is your Platoon Warrant).  You will be a better person for completing your training.

Maybe this will help you out, kmcc.  Here's a story I tell people that don't understand what I do.  

I was going to quit the forces when I was a bitter and jilted corporal.  On a driver course I was on fire piquet with a medic who was born in India.  He was a dentist by trade back home.  He told me some stories.  He had to pay off the cops every morning just to drive to work.  (He was Chinese - they're not treated that well in India).  He never knew of the word "tangerine" before he came to Canada.  His first time in a grocery store he wanted to buy all of the sugar on the shelf, back home they usually have to stock up due to constant shortages.  He had a lot more, but I won't write them all down.  He loved Canada so much, he wanted to give something back, so he signed up.  

I tell people that Canadians as a whole are pretty lucky.  Our society takes care of us pretty well.  We take a lot of our civil liberties for granted.   I feel that protecting the weaker man that can't defend himself is a fitting way to repay some of the benefits that Canadian society bestows on us.  

Then ask the person why they aren't greatful to be Canadian.


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## dq6t9

ok i no how u feel ppl always make fun of me whenever I go 2 cadets i no its not the same but go ahead join the amry prove them wrong!! trust me just believe in ur self and you will go far
mandi  :dontpanic:


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## QORvanweert

dq6t9 said:
			
		

> ok i no how u feel ppl always make fun of me whenever I go 2 cadets i no its not the same but go ahead join the amry prove them wrong!! trust me just believe in ur self and you will go far
> mandi  :dontpanic:


People make fun of Soldiers because they think they are baby-killers, etc etc.. When I was in Cadets, (Queens York Rangers) we were made fun of because they thought we were just pretending to be soldiers... real pain in the ass....


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## jermeytinling

hey guys I'm in the same boat as all you.... but the thing is my parents/entire family has completely disowned me. which i think is worse for me then if the just made negative comments. 


like a few things my dad says to me is "how much money r u making" i hate those comments

even my friends don't support me.

BUT all this negativity is just making me wanna do this just to prove everyone wrong


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## Gouki

The only person you can stay true to is yourself.. the rest can fall in line and support you, or be damned cause you don't need them. Good luck on joining the CF.


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## pbi

My hat is off to all of you who have shown the courage to make a difficult decision and then stay with what you believed to be right, despite the mockery or discouragement from family or "friends". It is the first test of character: the military will provide you with many more, some of which you cannot even imagine right now.

If it were not for folks like you, we would not have an Army at all. Take a bow!

Cheers.


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## Gouki

Hell your chances of going to war in the Reg Force aren't very high anyhow unless you join a few select units


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## pbi

> If you want to fight for your country then that's definately the right thing to do   Plus if you join the reserves your odds of going into a war would be small... but not impossible.



Actually, if we look at which units are carrying the lion's share of battle honours in this country, we'll see that they are Reserve units. Even at Medak, that famous event involving 2PPCLI, a very high percentage of the soldiers on the ground were Reservists. There is a formed platoon of Reserve soldiers here on Op Athena, and other Reservists employed as individuals. Given the much increased involvement of the Army Reserve in what we do today, I wouldn't make that assumption with too much certainty.

Cheers.


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## skura

Is there a certain age you must be on a reserve that if the need should arise, you won't be sent off to war?  If I had to guess, I'd say anyone under 18 wouldn't be allowed to be sent off, then again, you are a member of the Canadian Forces on the reserve, even if you're only 16.  Then again, I know nothing, can someone fill me in...


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## Stomper

I was wondering that myself.


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## Garbageman

skura said:
			
		

> Is there a certain age you must be on a reserve that if the need should arise, you won't be sent off to war?   If I had to guess, I'd say anyone under 18 wouldn't be allowed to be sent off, then again, you are a member of the Canadian Forces on the reserve, even if you're only 16.   Then again, I know nothing, can someone fill me in...



Age is irirrelevant.  You join the CF, they decide you're needed, you go.


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## QORvanweert

I am pretty sure that you have to be at least 18 to volunteer for any deployments, this is because Canada signed the international laws on child soldiers so.... yeah, pretty sure, might be wrong...


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## pbi

Normally soldiers under 18 years of age will not be deployed outside Canada. Technically they are not adults in most provinces. Cheers.


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## skura

But is there still the possibility that a soldier under 16 years of age could be sent off to war?


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## QORvanweert

There is no way on earth short of WWIII that someone under 18 would be sent off to war. There is no way on earth that someone under 16 would even be a soldier.


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## skura

QORvanweert said:
			
		

> There is no way on earth that someone under 16 would even be a soldier.



That was my assumptions getting the best of me again.   I assumed that as long as you were on a reserve and had completed your training, that you were a soldier.



			
				QORvanweert said:
			
		

> There is no way on earth short of WWIII that someone under 18 would be sent off to war.



So then there is a ppossibility..so small that it probably won't ever happen, but it's still there.


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## rounder

You will not deploy unless you're 18. Guaranteed!!


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## meni0n

Technically soldiers under 18 would be considered child soldiers which is against the geneva convention so no you won't see a soldier under 18 on tour. This would apply to going to war as well I believe.


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## skura

Okay, thanks guys.


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## Garbageman

My apologies, I may have jumped the gun a bit with my earlier comment.

However, if Canada were ever stretched to the point where we needed to start employing reservists as regular soldiers, it would be quite probable that younger troops would still be employed, just likely in a domestic role back-filling for someone else who is being deployed.

The long and the short of it is, don't join the CF if you aren't comfortable with the terms of service.   Reservists are CF members, and as such are obliged to many of the same responsibilities as regular members.   Yes, it is highly unlikely that we as a nation will be heading off to a full-scale war any time soon, but we thought the same thing in the 1930s.


----------



## QORvanweert

skura said:
			
		

> That was my assumptions getting the best of me again.   I assumed that as long as you were on a reserve and had completed your training, that you were a soldier.
> 
> 
> 
> So then there is a ppossibility..so small that it probably won't ever happen, but it's still there.


Ok, if Canada was involved in an extremely long and protracted war for several decades and the general population consisted entirely of 17 year old males, then I am sure that you would be thrown into the fighting, however you will be 18 in the reg. force by the timeyou finish your training and will be late 17 in the reserves... so, either way, the wait wouldn't be much longer, plus 6 months of pre-deployment training might bump you up to 18


----------



## dq6t9

hey it doesnt matter what people think go for it... you'll go far.
trust me i no
GOOD LUCK


----------



## amber78

I've read the threads people have posted on similar situations but i was wondering if anyone has been through something close to what I will be going through.

I am a female, only child. I have very protective parents who have protected me all of my life. I am now 27 and have wanted to join the military for 10 years.

My first attempt at telling my parents I was "considering" joining the military went horribly bad as they acted like little children and were angry at me for hours. I dropped the subject and it has taken 2 years since then to get up the nerve to decide to tell them I am joining and they have no say in wether or not I do.

I want them to support me and it breaks my heart to think I might break theirs by doing something they don't want me to do. I see joining as an opportunity. 

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can tell them this news. I have all information on the process of enlisting to benefits, the opportunity of continuing education to printouts of the trades I am interested in, (which by the way are mainly support trades).

If any of the senior members of this board could even say a couple words of wisdom I can even print out the responses and show them.

Thanks very much.

p.s. i dont know if anyone watched the ve parade in holland but that was pretty impressive. =)


----------



## civvy3840

I'm not a senior member but... Why don't you do all your testing and stuff first then tell them that you are joining the military and all you have to do is wait for BMQ.

That's what I'd do anyway.


----------



## Ex-Dragoon

I would suggest Amber you sit down and tell them why you want to join and what you would like to do in the CF. Parents will naturally worry about their children but you are 27 and an adult they have to let you go and live your own life. Children make mistakes, they have to accept that, they also have to recognize they were children at one time as well and I have no doubts that they made decisions that their own parents were not impressed by. This is your future not theirs. Get ready for the hysterics that they showed the first time but be strong and suck it up. Once they see your resolve and recognize they cannot talk you out of it they should come around.


----------



## Ex-Dragoon

civvy3840 said:
			
		

> I'm not a senior member but... Why don't you do all your testing and stuff first then tell them that you are joining the military and all you have to do is wait for BMQ.
> 
> That's what I'd do anyway.



Not everybody likes to be deceptive and underhanded with the people they love.


----------



## civvy3840

Ex-Dragoon said:
			
		

> Not everybody likes to be deceptive and underhanded with the people they love.



True... I saw the same thing in another post and someone else recommended it so I figured I would pass that bit of advice to her.


----------



## sgt_mandal

An old thread I made.....if you havn't seen it yet, it might help

http://army.ca/forums/threads/13678.0


----------



## Swin435

Ex-Dragoon said:
			
		

> I would suggest Amber you sit down and tell them why you want to join and what you would like to do in the CF. Parents will naturally worry about their children but you are 27 and an adult they have to let you go and live your own life. Children make mistakes, they have to accept that, they also have to recognize they were children at one time as well and I have no doubts that they made decisions that their own parents were not impressed by. This is your future not theirs. Get ready for the hysterics that they showed the first time but be strong and suck it up. Once they see your resolve and recognize they cannot talk you out of it they should come around.



I agree with Ex-Dragoon on this one Amber.  If there is a military unit that is close by, you could try taking them and showing them a little of what the life is like.  Most places will be more than happy to take someone on a tour and help them understand.  If there isn't you, maybe there is a recruiting office close that you could go to, to pretty much do the same.

Take it from me, it took my mom a couple of years to get used to the idea of me being in.  She didn't understand and I didn't take the time to educate her on the life. 

Do remember that they are only worried about you, they only want what's best for you.  It is your job to convince them, that this is right for you.  At least for right now. Good luck.  I hope it all works out for you


----------



## prom

well amber i have to say this to you, im 25 and ive wanted to join the CF since I was a weeee little boy. The attitude that exists with in my family as like yours is rather hostile towards my joining the CF. The main reason being that my uncled Died when i was 6 or 7 in a training accident in gagetown, sooooo there is some hesitation to say the least for my joining. I attempted several years ago to make my case, as like you so strong it would have scared the enemy back into their mothers womb's. however after several years of trial and error within the workforce and post secondary schooling (university, colleges, etc.) i found myself facing the same choice that i made when i graduated High School, I want more then anything to become a member of the CF, and serve my country to my best. So i researched everything that i could find on the CF, about possible trades, training locations, benifits/pay etc. after a few nights of searching i contacted my RC and got a full CF package and i went to my parents and told them that we need to have a talk, and i started out telling them how discouraged that i have been over the last several years, not being able to find myself so to speak. told them of how much that their support in the past has meant to me and how that i count on it in the future. and then i proceeded to tell them about my feeling toward serving in the army and how that it has been my lifes dream to do this, and that i really need their support as it will be such a hard time that i dont know if i could do it with out their support. I went on to tell them that i would go for it regardless, but I would rather to have them working with me to help me get through everything. I went over some of the info that i had found on St. Jean, and the BMQ, and such, showed them all that i was given by my RC, and encouraged them to look over everything and to check out the recruiting website on their own to get more info. 2 days later my parents came to talk to me and said that they had went through everything and want to know what date they should book their hotel for my graduation from BMQ. LOL they told me that they were very proud of me and that i should know that they will always support me and if something meant this much to me for them to stand in my way would be fool hardy and they willl do anything they can to help me attain my dream of serving in the Army.

I hope my situation has helped you out amber, if there is anything that i can do to help you out please dont be afraid to ask 

Prom


----------



## kincanucks

For crying out loud!! and I thought I had seen everything on this site.  27 years old?  Don't get too upset but get some backbone because you might need it if you make it past the selection process.  Good luck.


----------



## Paish

kincanucks said:
			
		

> For crying out loud!! and I thought I had seen everything on this site.   27 years old?   Don't get too upset but get some backbone because you might need it if you make it past the selection process.   Good luck.



Good ol Kincanucks i knew you wouldnt dissapoint! But yeah, your 27 years old so i would suggest you start doing things for your life and not your parents!


----------



## Bert

Parents always hold some fear for their children.   In respect to a possible military career, the parents 
may fear the loss of closeness with the sibling, fear of danger in a military career, fear the sibling
may not succeed and risk loosing time, money, or investment as examples.   You'll likely have to 
understand (or you may already) the nature of their fear.

At a more mature age, one may have more understanding of their own motivations.   A military
career provides education and experience, medical/dental benefits, a solid pay structure,
incentives, good vacation, and most trades/specializations leads into civilian life quite well.
This kind of employment can't be provided through most civilian streams.   There are draw-backs
to military life, but I doubt that is the heart of the matter.

Good luck.


----------



## Bert

Obviously, Kincanucks doesn't have Italian, Dutch, or Oriental parents from the old country.


----------



## Britney Spears

Why don't you guys read the OP before dogpiling on her? It is clear that Amber has already made the decision for herself, that's not her problem, her problem is how to get her parents see eye to eye with her. Telling the OP to "grow a backbone" does not solve the problem.

Having said that, here's a little cognative stance that I found to be quite useful in dealing with parents and other close relatives, on any issue. I love my parents to death and want the absolute best for them, and vice versa, but I have no problem telling them to shut up when they are being ignorant, prejudiced, or just plain stupid. your parents are people and we're all like that sometimes, and realize that we never stop learning and growing no matter what age we are . I ask the same from them in return. With this underpinning my relationship with my parents is built on integrity and respect, not fear. While we have some tense moments on occasion,but freed from any kind of "fear" (offending each other, hurt feelings, etc) our relationship is much closer and we can always be perfectly frank with each other. In the long run nothing but good has come out of this approach.


----------



## Ex-Dragoon

kincanucks said:
			
		

> For crying out loud!! and I thought I had seen everything on this site.   27 years old?   Don't get too upset but get some backbone because you might need it if you make it past the selection process.   Good luck.



Being a Captain with the Recruiting system I would have hoped you would have been more constructive then "get a backbone".  :


----------



## pronto

If you can't figure out how to tell Mommy and Daddums at 27 what you want to do - I suspect you may not be able to make in in the CF... 

However, if you can, look upon this as an exercise in liberation - Figure out how to tell them, then tell them, and get thee to an olive-drab nunnery/recruiting centre   

Any in either case - follow Kincanuks' advice.


----------



## amber78

thanks very much for the "constructive" responses.  

most of your responses were very helpful. and it was nice to see that even though some of you think that i dont have a backbone, that the majority of people saw that what i really wanted to get from responses to my post was different ways of making this easier on my parents, not on myself.

like a few have repeated in their posts. i have made my decision. long. hard. and researched. 

i just wanted different suggestions on making this easier on the two people i love and respect most in my life. 

thanks to all who understood and made very helpful posts. i will be telling my parents soon and i will keep you posted on what happens.

if you have any more words of advice keep em comming. 

Thanks! ;D


----------



## Bruce Monkhouse

One thing you maybe should do is start the application thing going before you say anything. Check the recruiting threads and you will see that it can be a lengthy process and/or you might not ever be called.


----------



## kincanucks

Ex-Dragoon said:
			
		

> Being a Captain with the Recruiting system I would have hoped you would have been more constructive then "get a backbone".   :



Oh please. Perhaps we should have a group hug and then we can have tea and then we can pretend we are in the military.


----------



## Kat Stevens

That would be SUPER! Will there be those little finger sandwiches?  MMMMM.... watercress.....


CHIMO,  Kat


----------



## nULL

You're 27 years old...if 16 year olds still legally bound to and reliant upon their parents can do it...

My parents were (are) still against it, but to hell with them - you only get one life, and it's yours.


----------



## Infanteer

kincanucks said:
			
		

> Oh please. Perhaps we should have a group hug and then we can have tea and then we can pretend we are in the military.



I'll have to ask my parents first....


----------



## Britney Spears

> thanks to all who understood and made very helpful posts. i will be telling my parents soon and i will keep you posted on what happens.
> 
> if you have any more words of advice keep em comming.



Here's some more advice: Listen to Bruce and Ex-dragoon. Ignore all the other wankers who don't RTFQ and hope you don't run into kincanucks in recruiting.


----------



## Dale Turner

Amber,
     Just a suggestion for telling your parents, sit them down, make sure there are no distractions for you or them and tell them from the beginning how you came to your decision and how committed to that decision you already are. You might be surprised. Once you put together a well thought out and researched "presentation" they may actually see your point of view and accept that their little girl is now grown up and going to do a grown ups job.

     Good luck and be true to yourself.

 :warstory:


----------



## 28Medic

Back to constructive ways to break-in your parents:

Sometimes a letter is a good way to initially present difficult topics without getting overly emotional in a face-to-face discussion.
Most people when first presented with unwelcome information will immediately shut down and will not hear or take in anything after the first few minutes. The letter can help set out your objectives and your reasoning with this decision. But you can also play up the affect that they have had on your making the decision, ie. how they raised you to seek challenges, to have a job that is worthwhile and productive, to live a healthy lifestyle, etc etc....
Show them how excited you are to include them in the process and that you want to make them proud of you by doing well.

I used the letter method to communicate with my parents a lot when I was in high school and university and it helped a lot.  But now in a more technological world...maybe a powerpoint presentation?
(Complete with websites and direct information from some of the recruiting sites). 
Granted when I came home from my basic course and my Mom said, "Oh my son is home from the army", in a very sarcastic tone, it stung a bit, but hey I got over it.  And so did my parents!

No matter how old you get, your parents still play a role in your life...you just have to help them see that it is a slightly different role depending on your age and situation.  

So all the tough guys here talking about needing a group hug will have to secretly admit that they seek approval and support from somebody in their lives....and what a better and easier place to get that approval and love but from their Mother.


----------



## Infanteer

Fine, you want an answer - say "Hey Mom, Happy Mothers Day, I'm joining Army."   If you're 27, they can accept it or they can be stupid and you can ignore them.   I guess life is about making choices, some which don't end with all consequences in the plus column.

Kincanucks has a point, there are things one has to do where others can't hold your hand.


----------



## canadianblue

> I've read the threads people have posted on similar situations but i was wondering if anyone has been through something close to what I will be going through.
> 
> I am a female, only child. I have very protective parents who have protected me all of my life. I am now 27 and have wanted to join the military for 10 years.
> 
> My first attempt at telling my parents I was "considering" joining the military went horribly bad as they acted like little children and were angry at me for hours. I dropped the subject and it has taken 2 years since then to get up the nerve to decide to tell them I am joining and they have no say in wether or not I do.
> 
> I want them to support me and it breaks my heart to think I might break theirs by doing something they don't want me to do. I see joining as an opportunity.
> 
> Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can tell them this news. I have all information on the process of enlisting to benefits, the opportunity of continuing education to printouts of the trades I am interested in, (which by the way are mainly support trades).
> 
> If any of the senior members of this board could even say a couple words of wisdom I can even print out the responses and show them.
> 
> Thanks very much.



Well I'm 18 in my second semester of high school and in the application process for the reserves, and hopefully either the infantry or military police. My father wasn't very supportive of my decision to get into the reserves one single bit.  Even as a little kid I always wanted to join the army, and I basically lived everything their was about the army, read books about the army, watched movies about the army, played army, everything. Finally when I was 17 and finishing up my last year of high school, I decided to make the plunge and apply to the army in the reserves, and perhaps the regular force later one. When my dad found out that I was in the application process he was mad to say the least. We had an argument one night, were he basically asked "why would you ever want to be a loser in life and join the CF". My response was, well if I ever get into the reg's and die on a mission, you can tell everybody about how much of a loser and dissapointment I was for joining the CF. After I told my dad  that I never heard a single complaint from him about what I have wanted to do. I think he finally realizes why I want to do that. I know that it was a bad response, but I think it got my point across.

For the most part, I think my parents are just worried about me getting killed at a younger age or getting hurt. It's natural, they even tried to talk my older brother out of firefighting because they were afraid he would die. But in the end its your life


----------



## Pea

I am in a similar situation as you. I have decided to join the reg force. My mom was not pleased at all when I told her I was planning to join. She tried to talk me out of it, by suggesting various other careers that she thought would be better for me. This was hard on me because I really want to join the CF, but I really love my mom and want her to be proud and supportive of everything I do. I know that the reason she was so upset about me joining is because she really cares about me and worries for me 24/7. I think part of her worries are because I am her oldest child, and the first to leave home. And of course, she was worried that I will die young ( I am 18 years old ) in some sort of combat.

I got all the information I could on the trade I had chosen, as well as all the training locations I will be at. Then I sat down with her and explained why I wanted to join the CF, and how it is the perfect choice of career for me. After hearing all the benefits of the CF, and after she saw how enthusiastic and determined I was to join she came around to the idea. She is still a little hesitant about it, but that is just because she loves me and worries. (But what mother doesn't!) My mom is now 100% supportive of it now that she has all the facts and knows that this career will truly make me happy. 

I guess what I am trying to say is that if you really want it, then get all the info you can to help calm your parents nerves/worries/hesitations and then sit down and show them how bad you want it. Anything great in life takes effort and sacrifice to accomplish.

Good luck with your parents!!


----------



## Infanteer

Whatever happened to the Spartan mothers who would say to their children "Come home with your shield or on it"?


----------



## Torlyn

They've flipped sides, and are voting for government child-care now...

T


----------



## Britney Spears

> Insert Quote
> Whatever happened to the Spartan mothers who would say to their children "Come home with your shield or on it"?



Maybe they got tired of their sons turning into homosexual child molesters?


----------



## Infanteer

That was the Athenians....


----------



## pronto

Hmmm so THAT's what they mean by Greek Style...  Heh heh....

Do finger sandwiches go with greek salad, or are PMQs too spartan?   >


----------



## Britney Spears

No, Sparta was the city where it was <a href=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pederasty#The_pederastic_Greek_city-states>formalized into law</a>. OTOH, in Sparta, they also had to be in love with each other first.



> The Spartans required all their adult men to engage a boy in a pederastic relationship, a law given to them by their quasi-mythical founding legislator, Lycurgus, who fashioned the Spartan state into an idealistic community that lasted hundreds of years. However, unlike in Crete, in Sparta, Athens and most other Greek city-states the man first had to win the affection of the boy he sought.


----------



## kincanucks

Britney Spears said:
			
		

> Here's some more advice: Listen to Bruce and Ex-dragoon. Ignore all the other wankers who don't RTFQ and hope you don't run into kincanucks in recruiting.



Ahhhh that is so sweet of you.  Thank you for respecting my feelings.


----------



## pi-r-squared

The writing the letter seems like a good idea.  It sort of is like breaking up via e-mail. ;D


----------



## pronto

The tea and greek salad is ready - Hug-time.... The new CF - we're ready to help!

 >


----------



## Infanteer

Britney Spears said:
			
		

> No, Sparta was the city where it was <a href=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pederasty#The_pederastic_Greek_city-states>formalized into law</a>. OTOH, in Sparta, they also had to be in love with each other first.



Can't take a joke, can you.

Ok, if you want to be serious:



			
				Britney Spears said:
			
		

> Maybe they got tired of their sons turning into homosexual child molesters?



First off, I don't see what is wrong with being homosexual - funny that you the purported liberal would point that out as a shortcoming.   I believe it was the Thebans who had a complete unit made up of homosexual lovers that was purported to have been one of the most fierce in combat.

Second off, the mention of child molestation implies pedophilia - look at the link you provided; *"and since the 1990's has been often confused with pedophilia."*.   It may seem odd to us, but pederasty was a social institution in Ancient Greece - I'm unsure of what would drive men to pursue young males, but its clear that it involved many different concepts (social standing, education, manhood, etc, etc).

Was this exploitive?   I'm not sure, but within Greek society it was seen as rite of passage - then again, the Greeks were misogynist slave-owners as well, so what can we learn from them?

Anyways, this has nothing to do with the thrust of my original question - why is it that so many parents feel their child is wasting away in the service of their country?   Is their no honour and pride in watching a child dedicate themselves to a greater good?

Here's some more gay Greek for you:



> _"Wherefore I do not now pity the parents of the dead who stand here; I would rather comfort them. You know that your dead have passed away amid manifold vicissitudes; and that they may be deemed fortunate who have gained their utmost honor, whether an honorable death like theirs, or an honorable sorrow like yours, and whose share of happiness has been so ordered that the term of their happiness is likewise the term of their life. I know how hard it is to make you feel this, when the good fortune of others will too often remind you of the gladness which once lightened your hearts. And sorrow is felt at the want of those blessings, not which a man never knew, but which were a part of his life before they were taken from him. Some of you are of an age at which they may hope to have other children, and they ought to bear their sorrow better; not only will the children who may hereafter be born make them forget their own lost ones, but the city will be doubly a gainer."_
> 
> Thucydides, Pericles' Funeral Oration


----------



## Britney Spears

> Can't take a joke, can you.



Actually I can, this was the joke part:  



> Maybe they got tired of their sons turning into homosexual child molesters?



Yes it was a different social norm, but so is your "come back with your shield or on it" thing, both of which are no longer prevailent(it seems) in modern society. Moral relativisim! Get it?

   

I was merely correcting your claim that pederastry was only practiced in Athens, which is inaccurate.


----------



## Infanteer

Britney Spears said:
			
		

> I was merely correcting your claim that pederastry was only practiced in Athens, which is inaccurate.



That was the joke - hence the wink   .


----------



## Bruce Monkhouse

On topic, kids or I will have to give you two your own homosexuality thread....... :-*


----------



## BDG.CalgHighrs

Amber,

My mom was just as displeased as yours by the sound of things. Difference was that she had previously become aware that she didn't get much of a say, in what I chose to do. I gave the long spiel with all the information, print-outs, and reasons why joining the reserve was a good idea... Eventually she came around to the idea of me wearing the uniform. She still had/has a problem with the trade I chose :. I more or less ended the discussion on that by informing her that I would never have to go over-seas. What I did not tell her, though is that I planned/plan on going on tour as soon as I could/can possibly get on one. It's not lying...It's just expedient.

I am not sure where I am going with this, I guess what I am trying to say is that rents won't always understand or like the choices you make, but hey, it's not their life.


----------



## Bruce Monkhouse

Wow, am I the only one in history who's parents were happy as proverbial clams when I took the plunge?

...and this wasn't at 27, this was at 17. [ turned 18 in week 6 of basic :crybaby:]


----------



## Kat Stevens

No, you're not the only one, Bruce.  I got a "good on yer, mate" from my Dad, and a "keep yer chin up" from my Mum...and I was 17 too.

Kat


----------



## Horse_Soldier

Bruce Monkhouse said:
			
		

> Wow, am I the only one in history who's parents were happy as proverbial clams when I took the plunge?
> 
> ...and this wasn't at 27, this was at 17. [ turned 18 in week 6 of basic :crybaby:]


Nope - mine, or at least my dad (never was all that sure about mom), was smiling all the way to the bank when I was sworn in at 17.  All that cash he'd stashed away to support my university education became mad money.  Mind you, by then he'd had 20 years in the service and _his_ dad had retired after 30 years in the service a mere 10 years earlier.  I've always had the nagging suspicion that they would have been disappointed if I _hadn't_ joined up.


----------



## BDG.CalgHighrs

My dad thought it was a good idea...make me more independent, responsible ;D, mature ;D ;D and whatnot, as well as paying for my education. My mom has this thing against guns/dangerous things/fun though.


----------



## pronto

Mine were GROTESQUELY dissapointed I didn't go into the airforce (like both of them, all my aunts and uncles, etc.). But were very happy with my direction. Mo-litia at 15 1/2 (yes I lied..), then regs at 17. In retrospect - a fine decision!


----------



## LordOsborne

Pte. Gaisford said:
			
		

> My dad thought it was a good idea...make me more independent, responsible ;D, mature ;D ;D and whatnot, as well as paying for my education. My mom has this thing against guns/dangerous things/fun though.




that's almost word-for-word how my parents saw me applying to join the infantry reserve 
my mom doesn't consider the CF do be a "real job"


----------



## P-Free

Check your mirror. Who do you see staring back at you? Please him and to hell with the rest. 

I never really had this problem when I went in to join up, my father has done almost 28 years in the Navy and is headed overseas this summer.


----------



## Pte. Bloggins

I joined at 17 too, my mom took a bit of convincing and the recruiters had to assure her that I wouldn't be on the next plane to Iraq the minute I signed on the dotted line, and my dad took a bit of convincing that this is the Canadian army, and they wouldn't feed me slop and clobber me over the head like when he was in the Polish army.  ;D


----------



## TCBF

My Mom had lost a favourite cousin in WW2.  My step - father was a medic in 2 Fd Amb  supporting first Canadian Armoured Brigade from Sicily to Apeldoorn, and was not overly pleased with my decision to go Armour, I suspect.  But, both stood by my decision, and gave me great support in all I did.


----------



## Pvt_masooD

I got alot of 'shaiza' from my 'rents when I told 'em I wanted to join the reserves.
Dad predicted me dropping out of high school and shipping off to Iraq,
Mom however was more leniant. They came to accept the fact that
I wanted to eventually become an officer. BTW I'm 17  Took alot of grease &
patience getting them to settle down & sign my consent forms but hey, it worked out
in the end.


----------



## BDG.CalgHighrs

I was about to tell crunchy to lose the rank, but then I got it...Don't I feel slow.


----------



## Pvt_masooD




----------



## honestyrules

i remember when i told my dad that i was joining...   He though i was a wingnut...  My mother said "i though you would join as an officer....

Do what you want and try to get posted away from them persons who are trying to control you....

You can have a great time in the army, that's for sure!!!!!!!


----------



## 1feral1

Back when I signed up in Regina, my Dad thought it was a great idea (carrying on the family tradition) to enlist, and he fully supported it, but my Mum was more hestitant, I reckon as most mothers would be. I did need consent as I was underage at the time.

Either way Amber, its your life not your parents, and whatever you choose to do, they should support you. Its not that you are joining some type of twisted brethern, but coming into a career which offers relitively good secuirty, a lengthy term of service, a good pension, and a host of oppertunity for advancement and learning, plus travel overseas and sseing Canada from end to end, which I thnk can only broaden one's horizons. It's not as if you are out there baby burning and war mongering. There are many avenues to choose when joining, and I wish you nothing but good fortune in what ever endeavour you chose.

Your parents should have a more open mind, and encourage and give nothing but positive re-inforcement for their kids (no matter if you are 17, 27 or 45 for that matter, as you'll always be your parents child).

Good luck, and let us know how things go.

Regards,

Wes


----------



## tannerthehammer

My dad had the same sort of attitude that your parents have but once I educated him more about it, he has since started to get excited for me and he is behind me now which is important...I'm 25 myself and just got into the reserves for Artillery...I'm also considering a position as an MP in the reg force if I like it...Good luck and just talk to them about it and let them know how important it is to you and the benefits you will gain from being a member....


----------



## bled12345

tell them you want to be the first kid on your block to get a confirmed kill


----------



## 1feral1

bled12345 said:
			
		

> tell them you want to be the first kid on your block to get a confirmed kill



 :

Is this supposed to be funny?

I am sure that would go over well wouldn't it. Being new here, and with an attitude like that, I am sure you'll go a long way in the CF.

Another empty profile to boot.


----------



## Gramps

"tell them you want to be the first kid on your block to get a confirmed kill"


This is a quote from from Full Metal Jacket  by Mathew Modine's character Joker. I think it was a poor attempt at humour. The original quote went something like "I wanted to be the first kid on my block with a confirmed kill."


----------



## mainerjohnthomas

My father told me that if I joined the army he'd beat me to death himself (just a couple of issues left over from his time in the Congo, the UN and Africa made him one pissed off paratrooper).  Mom knew me well enough that arguing against something I had determined to do was a lost cause, took a look at the practicalities and decided it was a good way to get an education, and not that much more dangerous than being me at the best of times ;D.  Both attended my graduation parade, and Dad was definitely the prouder of the two.  Don't confuse the protective urges of a parent, from the pride they will take in your accomplishments.  They may wish to shield you from dangerous things (like us, and soon, you), but will take immense pleasure at your success in anything as demanding and rewarding as a career in the Armed Forces, because you will become more fully what made them proud of you in the first place.  Just tell them calmly that this is right for you, and assure them that you have thought about the consequences, and then give them time to wrap their brains around it while you are on basic.


----------



## bled12345

relax, learn to take a joke. 

I think people need to stop worrying about so much and just give 'er. Parents won't always agree with what you do, but it won't make them stop loving you.


----------



## 1feral1

bled12345 said:
			
		

> relax, learn to take a joke.



Ya, sure pal, since your the apparent SME here, and have all that TI behind you, I guess I should take your advice.


----------



## bled12345

ok don't relax, and don't learn to take a joke..... I don't care, just quit complaining


----------



## pronto

bled12345:
You have to watch your tone - Wes has all the experience and TI to be able to take just about anyone to task. Get a little more time on the board before you start getting snippy - maybe you don't know your tone is coming off as a know-it-all, snippy and just a little offensive.


----------



## bled12345

I dunno, theres no need to over react though. I made a simple joke, and then when people got offended I told them to relax because it was just a joke, and then they are still offended..... doesn't make much sense to me, regardless of wether i'm "new", people should be more laid back. If you take life too seriously you'll never get out alive


----------



## bled12345




----------



## muskrat89

bled - this is your first and only free warning. If you are intent on dazzling the masses with your talent as a comedian, perhaps you should find another site....

Otherwise, read. listen, and learn.. and enjoy this site. Thanks in advance


----------



## DEVES

After reading all of these posts I kind of see how Canada is short on troops in all trades. For all you recruiters out there look at what you guys are doing. I know that a 27 year old women scarred to tell her parent 's is pretty sad but you have to realize that people want to be part of Canada's military heritage and be part of such a good life career. They dint need criticism and to be mocked! 

But who am I. and who cares

I saw this thing on the news about Canada's recruiting process and how it need to really be looked at. In the states you see a recuiter trying to find people and they will go through the process in a matter of days, and be starting there basic a week later!

Anyways hope that this amber woke up and smelled the coffee as an adult and told her parents to suck it up!

THXs


----------



## kincanucks

Derek Eves said:
			
		

> After reading all of these posts I kind of see how Canada is short on troops in all trades. For all you recruiters out there look at what you guys are doing. I know that a 27 year old women scarred to tell her parent 's is pretty sad but you have to realize that people want to be part of Canada's military heritage and be part of such a good life career. They dint need criticism and to be mocked!
> 
> But who am I. and who cares
> 
> I saw this thing on the news about Canada's recruiting process and how it need to really be looked at. In the states you see a recuiter trying to find people and they will go through the process in a matter of days, and be starting there basic a week later!
> 
> Anyways hope that this amber woke up and smelled the coffee as an adult and told her parents to suck it up!
> 
> THXs



Wow that really made sense and now I can go out and recruit.


----------



## JBP

LordOsborne said:
			
		

> that's almost word-for-word how my parents saw me applying to join the infantry reserve
> my mom doesn't consider the CF do be a "real job"



I HATE when people say that! "It's not a real job! You just sit around and tell jokes, drink beer and play with guns all day!!!"...

Well that's not ALL we do! C'mon!  

/rant on

Seriously though, people who say that drive me A-wall, they have NO idea what they're talking about!!!! That saying that we do more before breakfast than most people do in a whole day, it's for a reason... In the same respect, we could say they don't have a "real" job....  

God that drives me wild! Also I get the, "I hate the army", as soon as someone finds out I'm in, I say, "yeah, that's cool, a lot of people don't agree with the idea of an armed force trained to kill, but why do you hate the army really?".... And you get the response, "I dunno, they just suck..." The best response I had was from the owner of the company I work for's son.... Stuck up little rich boy who wouldn't make it 2 days in our damn fine army! Said he hates the army because we are WEAK, said 2 of his buddies picked a fight with 2 guys from the army and beat them up so that's why he hates us!!!!??!?!? What sense does that make? I was going to grab his neck and snap it like a twig!  :rage: He himself is a weakling.....

/rant off

I would have been fired though.... And, gotta present a "good" image of the CF....        :crybaby:


Sorry... But that is seriously a "pet peeve"...


----------



## GO!!!

Derek,
     Keep in mind that the "best" soldiers and leaders are most often kept within their respective units, and rapidly climb the promotion and course chain. 

Those who demonstrate that their talents lie elsewhere are put in positions at recruiting centers, and throughout the training system. I would contend that this is why the recruiting system is all fu(ked up, and it takes people years to get through - the best people are handling the day to day operations of the forces.

Cheers!


----------



## canadianblue

> I HATE when people say that! "It's not a real job! You just sit around and tell jokes, drink beer and play with guns all day!!!"...
> 
> Well that's not ALL we do! C'mon!
> 
> /rant on
> 
> Seriously though, people who say that drive me A-wall, they have NO idea what they're talking about!!!! That saying that we do more before breakfast than most people do in a whole day, it's for a reason... In the same respect, we could say they don't have a "real" job....
> 
> God that drives me wild! Also I get the, "I hate the army", as soon as someone finds out I'm in, I say, "yeah, that's cool, a lot of people don't agree with the idea of an armed force trained to kill, but why do you hate the army really?".... And you get the response, "I dunno, they just suck..." The best response I had was from the owner of the company I work for's son.... Stuck up little rich boy who wouldn't make it 2 days in our darn fine army! Said he hates the army because we are WEAK, said 2 of his buddies picked a fight with 2 guys from the army and beat them up so that's why he hates us!!!!??!?!? What sense does that make? I was going to grab his neck and snap it like a twig!   He himself is a weakling.....
> 
> /rant off
> 
> I would have been fired though.... And, gotta present a "good" image of the CF....
> 
> 
> Sorry... But that is seriously a "pet peeve"...



Same thing happens with myself, even with my own friends they bash the CF. Yet whenever I ask them to name one of the Infantry Regiments they got not clue what they could be. This isn't only happening with the CF, it also happens to people who want to become police officers and firefighters as well. You have alot of stupid people out there, I just learned to deal with them effectively and ignore them at times.


----------



## Rebel_RN

Amber,
   Before telling your parents that you want to joing if you haven't done so already take a moment to really put into words the reason why you yourself want to be in the CF. In doing that you will be able to come across as confident about your decision and you won't have as much nervousness showing when you speak to them. Ultimatly you have to do for you even though your parents may have done for you for a long time in the end you are the only one you can prevent yourself from following your dreams. You parents may show that they are displeased or even dissapointed in the decision that you make but in the long run they won't be. Tell them, give them time to digest the info and then open up discussion with them but let them know that under no uncertain terms will they be able to dissuade you and your choice. Best of luck and remember to have patience with them.
Rebel


----------



## JBP

> Same thing happens with myself, even with my own friends they bash the CF. Yet whenever I ask them to name one of the Infantry Regiments they got not clue what they could be. This isn't only happening with the CF, it also happens to people who want to become police officers and firefighters as well. You have alot of stupid people out there, I just learned to deal with them effectively and ignore them at times.




Yep, I get that all the time too when someone asks what I want to do... First off I say either the Forces or Police, and almost 70% a person will say they hate either one. The police one is usually something like this... "Why don't you like police?"... "Uhh, well, they arrested me cause I was smokin' dope and hangin' with my pals behind the 7/11! It wasn't cool man!"...  ???

You have to wonder sometimes.... I have very few friends these days, mainly because I try to stick to the intelligent people... God it's hard to find people with more than a brain stem! I'm proud to hang with my fellow "Infantards" as the other MOC's call us!


----------



## c4th

My conversation with my mother about me joining the army went something like:

Ring Ring:  Hello..

Hi mom

Hi son 

I joined the army and I'm on my way to Croatia.

Oh......


Anyway that was more than twelve years ago.  It might have taken awhile but she got over the initial shock and now fully supports my military career.  I think parents will realize there are lots of worse things their children can do than join the military.  Crack and politics spring to mind.

My advice:  Full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes.

Good luck,


----------



## canadianblue

> Yep, I get that all the time too when someone asks what I want to do... First off I say either the Forces or Police, and almost 70% a person will say they hate either one. The police one is usually something like this... "Why don't you like police?"... "Uhh, well, they arrested me cause I was smokin' dope and hangin' with my pals behind the 7/11! It wasn't cool man!"...
> 
> You have to wonder sometimes.... I have very few friends these days, mainly because I try to stick to the intelligent people... God it's hard to find people with more than a brain stem! I'm proud to hang with my fellow "Infantards" as the other MOC's call us!



Well with me, alot of the people that I hand around with don't even have half a brain. It's hard in high school to find those that you actaully have in common with, especially if your applying to the army or police. Besides that, when I did my ride along with Edmonton Police Service, I found that I could get along just fine with pretty well all the officers I met, and couldn't wait to join. Same with the army, I'm just hoping that I get the call soon.


----------



## quebecownage

lol thats funny how parents can react diferently...

see both my parents are quebec nationalist

and when i talked to my father 'bout it it went somehow like that

Dad i want to join the army and i handed im the paper he had to sign cause i'm 16

he signed and he asked me if i was sure i didnt want to be a garagist instead

and then nothing

ok ok it went a lil differently with my mother but she couldnt do nothing so well she just complained on how she would be worried if id go to "war" and nananan

i have great parent anyway

so id suggest if your not sure if your parent would agree well wait till your in and then tell them 

that's a pretty may i say "unrespectfull plan" but it sure works


----------



## civvy3840

c4th said:
			
		

> My conversation with my mother about me joining the army went something like:
> 
> Ring Ring:   Hello..
> 
> Hi mom
> 
> Hi son
> 
> I joined the army and I'm on my way to Croatia.
> 
> Oh......



That's actually pretty funny. I can't wait to join the reserves. Maybe I should do something like that... ;D


----------



## GOMERPYLE

You must be a real soilder! because your very right at out west there like you just stated. Worse then a bunch of wanabez lol. But I think the police treat there men with alot more respect. ie safety.


from Gomer


----------



## quebecownage

Hey dudes guesse what

JUST GOT SWORN IN tonight

3 hours ago in quebec with the voltigeur
I'm so freakin happy i'm now a citzen soldier

Long live CANADA


----------



## BDG.CalgHighrs

Rugged rifle said:
			
		

> Hey dudes guesse what
> 
> JUST GOT SWORN IN tonight
> 
> 3 hours ago in quebec with the voltigeur
> I'm so freakin happy i'm now a citzen soldier
> 
> Long live CANADA



The way you type reminds me of the way this francophone dude I used to know talked. Cracks me up every time. (yes, I am easily amused).


----------



## quebecownage

first, you're right ,I'm a francophone

second, what gave it away?


----------



## Bruce Monkhouse

Your accent!


----------



## aesop081

GOMERPYLE said:
			
		

> You must be a real soilder! because your very right at out west there like you just stated. Worse then a bunch of wanabez lol. But I think the police treat there men with alot more respect. ie safety.
> 
> 
> from Gomer



Wow !  Thats a solidly-built retort if i have ever seen one  :

I suppose you are a "real" soldier ?

By the way...what are you talking about ?


----------



## quebecownage

You can tell my accent in the way i'm writing
 that's pretty uncommon....i think?


----------



## patrick666

My father supports me in anything I do because he has always let me carve my own path. We have talks about the military and we go over the pros and cons of military life and what it means to be a soldier and a Canadian. My mother on the other hand is also as supportive but could would rather not hear or talk about the military. I am very lucky to have parents that accept my decisions in life for exactly that, my decisions - that's what parents are for, to pick you up when you fall, to lift you up when your down. 

My advice is that if it is truly in your heart of hearts to be in the Canadian Forces - then follow it. You only live once and some people can handle it, some people can't. 

Cheers.


----------



## MdB

My parents also support me in this way. They say as long as you make good out of it...

Hehe, anecdote here.

I had specially booked a lunch with my mother to announce her the news, that I went to CFRC to give my application and that my decision was 100% sure now. I just wanted not bother her when I was not so sure...

So we talk about casual things and others and finally she comes up with "Well, why did you want us to get together finally? Is your girlfriend pregnant?" Just out of the blue, I say "Yes!" She says, "Is that true, you're not kidding me!?" I say "Yes!", again, "I'm kidding you." Haha, she flushed out a second and was ok after. Just right after that, I say, "Well, that wasn't that, that could, but no she's not pregnant. I decided to join up the CF." She answers back with that globulous gaze, "Well, you're kidding me again!?" And this time I say, "No." "Really?", she says on a good note, a bit anxious... and the usual conversation between mother and son, like how dangerous it is, what career perspective, what MOC I chose, deployments, where I could be based, etc...


Just to give my opinion on telling the news. I'm from Quebec and I think this is somewhat rather harder to deal with it in here. I had a lot of fears regarding how the people would react to it. In hindsight, I see that I had a lot of fears that just never materialized in reality. All of my friend and people I told I would join reacted positively to this, to my great surprise!

Moral of this story, go ahead boy!


----------



## BDG.CalgHighrs

Rugged rifle said:
			
		

> first, you're right ,I'm a francophone
> 
> second, what gave it away?



I wasn't sure, really. But the "I am so freaking happy" bit was what triggered my recolection. Except when he said it it wa smore like I'm so frikin 'appy".


----------



## quebecownage

hhaaa THose good old english class, they make me wonder why do when even speak french since english is much better....well simpler at least..., i guess 
here's to canada


----------



## aesop081

Rugged rifle said:
			
		

> hhaaa THose good old english class, they make me wonder why do when even speak french since english is much better....well simpler at least..., i guess
> here's to canada



That was an incredibly inteligent comment now wasn't it  :


----------



## Gouki

The best part is "here's to Canada" ... a nation which recognizes cultural diversity and is officially bilingual.

After he makes fun of french.

"The ironing is hilarious"


----------



## rmc_wannabe

Alright. So I have convinced my parents that the army is where i want to go and that it's not really a bad decision. However, like most things in life, theres a catch. 

My father has stipulated a few rules in order for me to join up without being disowned:
          A) graduate highschool (thats a given)
          B) Get the Best marks possible
          C)Get into RMC/ selected for ROTP/ DEO route (pretty much go to university)         
          D) Become and officer
          E) Not stay in for longer than 5 years

While i agree with him on parts A and B, i think he's going way too far with parts C,D, and E. I clue into the fact that yes he is mey dad and is only trying to do the best for me, but ultimately, isn't my choice to make how i join and for how long i want to be in for?

Any ideas, suggestions, adivce, or "i was in your situation" stories are greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance,


----------



## CADPAT SOLDIER

wow It seems your dad would be my dads best friend lol
I got the same exact talk. (I also got a flat out NO to joining the reserves this year but as soon as my cousin joined I got the greenlight)


----------



## rmc_wannabe

Future Unknown said:
			
		

> wow It seems your dad would be my dads best friend lol
> I got the same exact talk. (I also got a flat out NO to joining the reserves this year but as soon as my cousin joined I got the greenlight)



Yes! so i'm not alone in this :-\


----------



## kincanucks

rmc_wannabe said:
			
		

> Alright. So I have convinced my parents that the army is where i want to go and that it's not really a bad decision. However, like most things in life, theres a catch.
> 
> My father has stipulated a few rules in order for me to join up without being disowned:
> A) graduate highschool (thats a given)
> B) Get the Best marks possible
> C)Get into RMC/ selected for ROTP/ DEO route (pretty much go to university)
> D) Become and officer
> E) Not stay in for longer than 5 years
> 
> While i agree with him on parts A and B, i think he's going way too far with parts C,D, and E. I clue into the fact that yes he is mey dad and is only trying to do the best for me, but ultimately, isn't my choice to make how i join and for how long i want to be in for?
> 
> Any ideas, suggestions, adivce, or "i was in your situation" stories are greatly appreciated.
> Thanks in advance,



Well if you get into RMC you will be staying for nine years at least.  Besides won't you be 18 when you graduate high school? So if you want to join then join.  Also, if he is hell bent on you going to university does he have the $50,000 plus to pay for it or wouldn't he rather you were subsidized through ROTP?


----------



## Bo

Your dad wants what's best for you so you should take his advice seriously. Going to either university or RMC will open many doors for you, both in the military and the civilian sectors. I found that university is where I learned the most, not only academically, but about myself as well.

I'd suggest that you at least get a degree, then decide from there.


----------



## rmc_wannabe

Bo said:
			
		

> Your dad wants what's best for you so you should take his advice seriously. Going to either university or RMC will open many doors for you, both in the military and the civilian sectors. I found that university is where I learned the most, not only academically, but about myself as well.
> 
> I'd suggest that you at least get a degree, then decide from there.



I know he wants the best for me and i respect that and i am trying to meet his requirements. I just don't know if the university route is the one for me. 

I'm thinking that maybe taking the NCM road is a good way to test the water. It's three years, and i still could be able to go to University after the time's up.


----------



## scottyeH?

It's your choice. Your an adult and you have to make your OWN choices. Tell your dad you have different dreams and ambitions then he does. Explain to him the wide variety of oppunties and how many doors the military opens...even if he doesn't agree, he doesn't run your life, and you can't hide in your dad's shadows all your life. Make your own decisions, he will get over it no matter what you do.

I'm just lucky coming from my family with my dad servicing in policing for 26years, he actually wanted me to join the army, rather then doing a civvies job.

Anyways, that's what I think...

Goodluck.


----------



## RossF

kincanucks said:
			
		

> Besides won't you be 18 when you graduate high school? So if you want to join then join.



^^ There you go.


----------



## Island Ryhno

Not directly related to the military per se, but.... For the past 30 years or so the baby boomers have been literally forcing their offspring into university so they can have "the good life" you know, a degree in Poli Sci, a $50,000 student loan, a $30,000 per year job, ah the good life! Now there is such a shortage of skilled tradespeople out there that employers are practically begging people to get into trades. I saw a news interview with a female millwright in Ontario who was making....$100,000 + per year, with no student loans! I know a lot of welders who paid $1000 for their course and started out making $30,000 and worked up to $65,000 + per year in 4 years. I think the idea that you have to go to university to get ahead in life is very dated, why don't you ask your dad if he would prefer A) 4 years in the forces as an NCM making $50,000 per year with NO student debt or B) 4 years of Uni, with a B.A., $50,000 student loan and a great job...at the library. I'm not knocking university, I've been there, done that and got the t-shirt(mostly pub crawl ones but hey) It makes for a well rounded person. However it is one choice in a very large number of choices out there right now.


----------



## Hunter911

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume your trying to join the Reserve.. or thats what I'm trying to do as it would be a huge help applying to RMC. I think if your trying to convice your dad to give you a bit more slack, try to make him understand that when you get in, you'll be living by their rules, not only his... and thats what brought mine around... Mine had mostly the same expectations for me


----------



## BDTyre

I met a nice Sergeant who gave me some excellent advice.  While making small talk, he asked if I was going on course this summer.  I told him no, I have school until the end of July.  The usual response is, "Okay, we'll get everything sorted out for you."  However, this Sergeant told me that it was good I had decided to see my semester through, and that school should always be the number one priority and I shouldn't let the reserves interfere just because it can get me out of class.

He then proceeded to explain that there are many guys in the military (himself included) who never went to university because they were getting decent pay, having unique experiences and were in a challenging and rewarding job.  But when they got older, many of them -while not regretting their decision- wished they had gone to school because whenever they leave the military, there might not be much else for them.

Again, it didn't seem like the Sergeant was implying he had made a bad choice, or that he was discouraging me from anything.  But to be honest, I would suggest some form of higher education, be it university and a BA or BB or BSc, or a trades school so you can learn a profession.

You can't do much with just a high school diploma unfortunately.  Of course...the way things are going, you can't do much with just a BA either.  ;D


----------



## FITSUMO

your father is from a generation where the army did not have a good rep, they were paid crap and lived horrible.  I am going through this right now with my father, I did not ask permission, but wanted his advice.  I had to sit down with all the facts and show him that this is not the same army of yesteryear.  I have been in high tech for the last 11 years, I have seen the ups and downs, and I am going back to the army.  After I showed him the pay scale and the benifits his attitude changed.  Getting a degree is a good thing, but it does not open the door to the 50k+ a year job and the "good life"( like it did when "dads" were going into the job market).  Here are some good points to make with him.  Pension( not as popular with employeers now-a-days), job security( I work high tech in ottawa and there have been @ 40000 layoffs in the past 4 years( yes you are reading that number correctly).  Contracting is the new thing( not long term work).  The Forces is a place that you can advance( if you work at it), you get a pension, you learn "work ethic"( one of the biggest things I look for in a new hire is past time in), you belong to a group that for the most part look after each other( this is not the case in todays civvie work place).   he is coming from the right place but bring him the facts, and ask him why he has these point of views, you can communicate much better with someone when you understand where they are coming from.  he may say things that do not fit with your view, stay cool listen and then answer.

cheers


----------



## canadianblue

Well what I don't get is why parents treat the forces like its so bad, I mean sometimes it seems they would rather have their children in porn then in the army. While my parents weren't extremely pleased that I was going, I didn't give a care, and I told them my reason and that was it. I'm not gonna give up any of my aspirations, and I don't think you should either. If your parents abandon you because you want to serve under the Canadian flag, then thats their choice. 

Thats my .02 cents


----------



## Pieman

> Not directly related to the military per se, but.... For the past 30 years or so the baby boomers have been literally forcing their offspring into university so they can have "the good life" you know, a degree in Poli Sci, a $50,000 student loan, a $30,000 per year job, ah the good life!





> Getting a degree is a good thing, but it does not open the door to the 50k+ a year job and the "good life"( like it did when "dads" were going into the job market).



People have to be smarter about what they study in University, and why. Most Arts degrees will get you a nice job pushing papers in some bureaucratic office. Other degrees, you will see the earning potential you would expect from all that education...in the field you studied in, no less.   It boils down to taking roads less travelled IMHO. 

The down side of trades is that they are somewhat inflexible in what you can do with them. 

Ultimately, most parents don't understand the earning potential in the Military, and the ability to grow and move into new areas. If you sign up in Armour, it is not like you are going to be driving a tank for the rest of your life. You will climb the ranks, get better pay, take on different responsibilities. My father was unconvinced it was a good idea until I laid out the pay, earning potential, and career path choices.


----------



## rmc_wannabe

Thank you all for the great advice and i really truly appreciate it. I think it would be best if i took him down to CFRC and let him get the information straight from the horse's mouth. Failing that, I'm probably going to let him talk to my friends father who happens to be an officer in the QOR. 
Thanks once again


----------



## scottyeH?

Futuretrooper said:
			
		

> Well what I don't get is why parents treat the forces like its so bad, I mean sometimes it seems they would rather have their children in porn then in the army.



I'm pretty sure, they don't want you to do porn either  But anyway's I know what you mean. A lot of parents these days, think there is much more out there then military...parents just want to make sure you use all of your potential that you have, some think the military is using very minimum potential. when they have no idea what it's about.

The stereotype I hope doesn't last much longer, but it will.

Give your parents some info. Make you OWN choice and move on. If your family "disowns" you because you join the army. They aren't good parents at all.


----------



## Fry

Yeah, my little brother is thinking about joining, so he's gotta try to convince our parents lol. I made the decision when I was almost 20 to apply, so no problems there. As for the university bit... I don't like it at all. I did 2 years, got many t-shirts, most through the same means as Island Ryhno, lol... There are many trades indeed. I think it's just that in school, well mine anyways, they hype up university so much, that you almost feel obligated to go. Personally, I think it's a money racket.  If although you do want to go, why wouldn't anyone want to go thru the forces and get it paid for? Plus, if you decide to leave the forces, any service time looks great on a resume.


----------



## Fishbone Jones

Bottom line is that it's your decision. You'll be an adult and it won't be the last tough one you'll have to make. Family is great, but you can't let them stand in the way of your life or happiness. I know a person that became professional engineer because it's "what the family wanted". Now he drives truck and couldn't be happier. It's a hard decision, but if you join, it won't be the last one you make. Down the line, lives may depend on how you perceive, analyse and decide on things. Start now, and it gets easier. Dad won't be with you on the two way range to tell you what to do. He may be disappointed for awhile, but in the end he'll likely be proud and respect you a little more for following your own path. Do what YOUR heart tells you.


----------



## rmc_wannabe

recceguy said:
			
		

> Bottom line is that it's your decision. You'll be an adult and it won't be the last tough one you'll have to make. Family is great, but you can't let them stand in the way of your life or happiness. I know a person that became professional engineer because it's "what the family wanted". Now he drives truck and couldn't be happier. It's a hard decision, but if you join, it won't be the last one you make. Down the line, lives may depend on how you perceive, analyse and decide on things. Start now, and it gets easier. Dad won't be with you on the two way range to tell you what to do. He may be disappointed for awhile, but in the end he'll likely be proud and respect you a little more for following your own path. Do what YOUR heart tells you.



Thats the best advice i've gotten so far. That really puts things into perspective. Don't get me wrong, plan A is still going through(trying to convince him), but now i'm just gonna go for it no matter what.


----------



## ericM

my dad was in the canadian airborne regiment so when I went to join up i got alot of support, pretty much he just suggested to me not to go infantry because there aren't many employment opportunities for it once you get out, so i applied for sig op. 

but if they were disagreeing and trying to tell me what trade to do and other shit, like threatening to disown me if i didn't become a clerk, at that point i'd just break free and do what i want... you're joining the army for you, so do what you do for you not them


----------



## san

FITSUMO said:
			
		

> your father is from a generation where the army did not have a good rep, they were paid crap and lived horrible.   I am going through this right now with my father, I did not ask permission, but wanted his advice.   I had to sit down with all the facts and show him that this is not the same army of yesteryear.   I have been in high tech for the last 11 years, I have seen the ups and downs, and I am going back to the army.   After I showed him the pay scale and the benifits his attitude changed.   Getting a degree is a good thing, but it does not open the door to the 50k+ a year job and the "good life"( like it did when "dads" were going into the job market).   Here are some good points to make with him.   Pension( not as popular with employeers now-a-days), job security( I work high tech in ottawa and there have been @ 40000 layoffs in the past 4 years( yes you are reading that number correctly).   Contracting is the new thing( not long term work).   The Forces is a place that you can advance( if you work at it), you get a pension, you learn "work ethic"( one of the biggest things I look for in a new hire is past time in), you belong to a group that for the most part look after each other( this is not the case in todays civvie work place).     he is coming from the right place but bring him the facts, and ask him why he has these point of views, you can communicate much better with someone when you understand where they are coming from.   he may say things that do not fit with your view, stay cool listen and then answer.
> 
> cheers



FITSUMO!!!!!!  This is EXACTLY the reason I left the high tech field of IT in 2000.  I am now employed with a company where I have job security, pension, and opportunity.  After 5 years though, I am with the same company but now employed in an IT type position.

As for RMC-Wannabe's question .... Ultimately it is your choice (as many others have already said), but keep in mind .... things ALWAYS change!  You may be set on something right now and change your mind later.  I spent my time in the Reserves instead of joining the Regs and earned enough money to pay for my education.  No student loan, a ton of new friends, a rewarding experience and new skills that I use in civie life.  My experiences have only helped with my career progression.  I continue to upgrade my skills through continuing education.

Whatever decision you make ... no regrets, only learning experiences!

Cheers,

san


----------



## Manimal

at the end of your life, you're going to look back, and think, i'm glad i did it my way, mistake or not.....you're parents don't have to live with your mistakes or your victories...YOU DO. live your life. they will grow to respect what you do, if you do what is right for you.


----------



## FITSUMO

"at the end of your life, you're going to look back, and think, i'm glad i did it my way, mistake or not.....you're parents don't have to live with your mistakes or your victories...YOU DO. live your life. they will grow to respect what you do, if you do what is right for you."

well said.


----------



## rmc_wannabe

Manimal said:
			
		

> at the end of your life, you're going to look back, and think, i'm glad i did it my way, mistake or not.....you're parents don't have to live with your mistakes or your victories...YOU DO. live your life. they will grow to respect what you do, if you do what is right for you.



I'm starting to come to that realization. I'm just gonna go for it. Thanks, thats a POV i never really considered.


----------



## Manimal

ON THE OTHER HAND lol

a few years ago, i wanted to join the army. i really wanted too. then my fiance at the time, put her foot down. and other friends begged me not to go, they just had a bad feeling about it. then 9/11 happened. it didn't stop my wanting to join, but at the point i was in college. maybe they were right, and it wasn't the time, i'm in a good place now, and i'm going for PRes, and i'm sure this is the right place for me now. but i'm still following my heart, and i'm not disappointed at my delay in getting in, but it's time to stop wasting time. maybe your parents were write to try to put you off, but it's only a test to see how much you really want to be there. the point is maybe unclear, but don't let anything stand in your way. (my fiance left me, took a lot of my money/stuff, and in the end only crushed more of my dreams she was only scared) and your parents are only scared.


----------



## rmc_wannabe

Manimal said:
			
		

> ON THE OTHER HAND lol
> 
> a few years ago, i wanted to join the army. i really wanted too. then my fiance at the time, put her foot down. and other friends begged me not to go, they just had a bad feeling about it. then 9/11 happened. it didn't stop my wanting to join, but at the point i was in college. maybe they were right, and it wasn't the time, i'm in a good place now, and i'm going for PRes, and i'm sure this is the right place for me now. but i'm still following my heart, and i'm not disappointed at my delay in getting in, but it's time to stop wasting time. maybe your parents were write to try to put you off, but it's only a test to see how much you really want to be there. the point is maybe unclear, but don't let anything stand in your way. (my fiance left me, took a lot of my money/stuff, and in the end only crushed more of my dreams she was only scared) and your parents are only scared.




Fair enough lol. I think this will take some time to figure out a little more in depth. I have time, and i think it best to ponder this for a bit longer.

btw, sorry to hear about your ex leaving you...tough break man. :-\


----------



## Manimal

man, NEVER feel sorry for me for that.

she married a guy less then a year later, he was very sick with cancer, and because i'm a nurse on the oncology unit in town, when he was admitted, i had to take care of him. we broke the ice with the 3 hour trip to London in the back of the ambulance. we even became friends to a point. but the whole time he was in hospital, on repeated visits, she sat around getting fat, she never left to shower, and rarely changed clothing. he passed away in January, she asked me for some favours, then when i didn't product started dating another guy.....she's been without a job for over two years..... it was a heart brake for the best! now i get to blow shit up in the army lol
it was lesson, but one worth living thru. i'd feel sorry for me if i did marry her.


----------



## rmc_wannabe

Manimal said:
			
		

> man, NEVER feel sorry for me for that.
> 
> she married a guy less then a year later, he was very sick with cancer, and because i'm a nurse on the oncology unit in town, when he was admitted, i had to take care of him. we broke the ice with the 3 hour trip to London in the back of the ambulance. we even became friends to a point. but the whole time he was in hospital, on repeated visits, she sat around getting fat, she never left to shower, and rarely changed clothing. he passed away in January, she asked me for some favours, then when i didn't product started dating another guy.....she's been without a job for over two years..... it was a heart brake for the best! now i get to blow crap up in the army lol
> it was lesson, but one worth living thru. i'd feel sorry for me if i did marry her.



It's sad that her husband did pass on...however i think it's quite fitting that her life went downhill after doin that to you. lol, karma's a biotch eh


----------



## Gouki

FITSUMO said:
			
		

> your father is from a generation where the army did not have a good rep, they were paid crap and lived horrible.   I am going through this right now with my father, I did not ask permission, but wanted his advice.   I had to sit down with all the facts and show him that this is not the same army of yesteryear.   I have been in high tech for the last 11 years, I have seen the ups and downs, and I am going back to the army.   After I showed him the pay scale and the benifits his attitude changed.



There is something I want to throw in here, especially after reading this in particular. Everyone, take it for what you will but I think it's a great story of what the military can do for someone:

My father joined back in the late 70's back when it didn't pay the greatest and rights and stuff were pretty much nonexistant and getting pissed drunk in the field was perfectly acceptable. He came from a very poor area of North Sydney, Cape Breton and was no exception. For example, one winter he once woke up with snow in his bed - not enough money to fix his roof. He made the decision to join the forces and it's been great to him. He went from that poor neighborhood, supported a family (wife and two children-one being me obviously) and is now a Warrant and has great hopes to get his MWO's. This "crappy" military took him from nowhere to here. He put everything into the military and it gave him everything back. 

I mean really think about that. When he first signed up he couldn't afford his own pair of shoes, and now he has a car, place to live, computer - well, everything that a regular person would have that most take for granted. And it's still giving him more and will continue even after he retires.

On top of that, the military helped my mother earn her Nursing Degree. It trained her, is teaching her french, and paid for her 4 years of university. She is in her 4th year now (well, will be in Sept) and when she earns that and her commission, the military is going to really give her even more (promotion to Captain in short time, etc). 

Everything that I have and my sister has stems from the military giving back to my parents as much as they gave to it. I can't describe how much it pisses me off when even in this day and age, people slam the military has a crappy career that offers nothing. After all it gave my father I will never - ever, believe or listen to these ignorant people.

And fast foward to 2005. Privates, the lowest on the totem pole, got it pretty good. It's not friggen glamourous but in my opinion it gives you one hell of a starting point in your life. Check the Private pay (for those who don't know) after the recent pay increase. Some of my friends who got their degrees still aren't making that much and are lost with nowhere to go.

And now here I am, at almost the same age as my father when he first joined, ready to head out and start my own military career. If it took my father out of the depths of poverty and elevated him to where he is now, then I can't wait to see what I can accomplish in it.

Screw anyone who thinks the military is a bad career choice.


----------



## rmc_wannabe

Steve, you bring up a very good point. My father never had jobsecurity in his life, he was a self employed musician. My Family has had it's ups and down throughout the years with money, and i respect him for the life he has provided for me and my sister. I don't however think this is the road i will take in life, and he thinks that the only option to get out of self employment is university, then highpaying job, etc. Hearing what you've said about your father now gives me confidence in that the army is an equal, if not better career option. Thanks for the advice


----------



## Manimal

well of course your musician of a dad is not going to want you in the army...... those are polar opposites. but it comes down to, living your life. good or bad, follow your dreams, stick it out, cause it's never all roses.


----------



## rmc_wannabe

Manimal said:
			
		

> well of course your musician of a dad is not going to want you in the army...... those are polar opposites. but it comes down to, living your life. good or bad, follow your dreams, stick it out, cause it's never all roses.



Thats the plan


----------



## Second Chance

You must live and for plan for yourself.   

I'm 32 and applying for Regular Armoured. Every day my father tells me to rethink my plans. (By the way I own my own house) He tells me this over the phone. 

I use to be in the Reserves back in the 90's and have missed it greatly since I left. Dam Civie job wouldn't give me the time needed. 

My wife is all for me joining up, and is proud that I want to make something out of myself. 
For in this day an age, job security doesn't exist. My many past layoff notices tells me that.

So no matter how old you are, parents worry. But you must do what makes you happy. If not, you are living someone else's life and not your own.

You only live once, live it.


----------



## Fishbone Jones

rmc_wannabe said:
			
		

> Thats the plan



I'm glad after almost three pages and 20 some odd responses, you've finally made up your mind 

I'm going to lock this now. If you start having second thoughts, PM me and we'll consider reopening it, or you can just read it all again. ;D

Good luck.


----------



## Fry

Time to wake this thread from it's slumber and get back on topic.


I understand how many who want to join feel when it comes to everyone else wanting/not wanting you to go through with it. My dad's semi for it, but he doesn't say much about it. Mom's against it, but she doesn't say much against it, other than the fact that I'll end up on the news as a casualty. 

My grandparents are happy as pigs in sh*t.

I just tell em all that not only is it going to be a career, it's something that I want to do... that I feel I have to do.


----------



## TheMachine

The times when my head starts to get filled up is at work when I have 5 different people asking me questions at once while having time constraints to complete tasks at hand. Solution: deal with each person one by one ask quiclk and effectively as I can. Thats the key. Its much easier to deal with one person at a time. If 2 people try to talk to you at once say he was first, please wait, im answering his question right now. But I make sure you have prepared before hand so the explanation can go as effectively and smoothly as possible without having to re explain the same thing to the same person, or having to deal with certain doubts that person may have. Anticipate in a way to make sure you cover all aspects of there doubts, questions and concerns. This is great practice for your mind to deal with any leadership roles you may incur in the future. Good luck.


----------



## ThatsLife

lol, it seems that alot of mothers are the ones giving full support. When I told my mom, she was so proud of me, she was telling all of her friends that i'm joining the army and everyone said I was going to get shot and what not. But my mom was proud...but I guess deep down she thought it was just a phase I was going throuhj untill last Thursday when I took her down to this information orientation in New Wesminster. I brought my girlfriend, my girlfriends mother and my mom and they were all sitting huddled up close on a bench smiling at me unsure how to feel. But anyways, the Master Corporal asked everyone to go upstairs to watch the recruiting video...I watched it, had all my questions answered. When it was all over, I walked downstairs and I was telling them that on the video the soldiers were knocking down doors, blowing stuff up, shooting machine guns, walking through the arctic and what not. And my mom immediately was like.."Oh my little boy! I don't want him blowing his hands off! I want him just the way he is!"     

You could just imagine how I felt infront of a guy in cadpat.   :blotto:

edit:  due to being tired and making spelling mistakes


----------



## Fry

Yeah, a lot of my family are all goin on with "Ohh that's dangerous, let someone else do it". I just reply, well if everyone had that attitude, we wouldn't have anyone to protect against foreign and domestic threats. You would live in fear. It's just something that I want to do, and like it or not, I'm going.

Like I said, my Pop Fry couldn't be anymore proud, and that makes me feel good. He talks for hours about WW2 (the big one ... LOL) and about stories he had from italy and stuff... real inspiring indeed.


----------



## BDTyre

A few years back when I first brought the subject up, my parents weren't too keen.

So I left it and didn't tell them anything until I knew for sure I was in.  When they found out I had a new "part-time job" that involved "working with" the Seaforths, they took it a little differently.

My father didn't show much concern and my mother's first two comments were "I thought you wanted to work for CSIS" and "How can you afford gas and parking?"


----------



## Seamus449

Hahaha my mom is trying her damndest to get me to go reg force and get a "free education", she always says "if I could do it over again..." my dad thinks its a great part-time job but he doesn't like me going away during the summer even though I'm only an hour and a half away, but I gotta say, I don't like leaving much myself


----------



## Fry

I hardly think it's a free education.


----------



## NavComm

Families, God love em. But as Gen. Romeo Dallaire said: if the military had wanted you to have a family, they would have issued you one. (or something to that effect).

Stick with what you want. If it's what you want to do, others will get used the idea. This is your life. Live it. Good luck!


----------



## Kat Stevens

NavComm said:
			
		

> Families, God love em. But as Gen. Romeo Dallaire said: if the military had wanted you to have a family, they would have issued you one. (or something to that effect).
> 
> Stick with what you want. If it's what you want to do, others will get used the idea. This is your life. Live it. Good luck!



No, but I was issued a housewife, and it was on every bug out kit list I ever saw..


----------



## NavComm

Kat Stevens said:
			
		

> No, but I was issued a housewife, and it was on every bug out kit list I ever saw..



OMG that's funny

edited: yeah yeah I know I missed whatever he's driving at here.


----------



## George Wallace

NavComm said:
			
		

> OMG that's funny



Obviously you don't know what he is talking about.    :


----------



## NavComm

No I don't. I realized after I posted it that I was probably missing something.


----------



## George Wallace

Do you do any sewing?


----------



## NavComm

Not really. I keep telling my daughter that's why I put her in girl guides when she was a kid....so I wouldn't have to sew. At bmq I sewed my labels on but never did get the stitching right. I was relieved when no one really *looked* at it!

Is this housewife some sort of sewing machine? Am I getting warm? ;D


----------



## George Wallace

Warm enough...it is your issue Sewing Kit.....commonly called a "housewife".


----------



## NavComm

ooooo well that's still funny then. Thanks!


----------



## Fry

Hilarious!


----------



## kmcc

unfortunately I've agreed to go to college before i get involved with the military (long story) I'm not pleased with it but I didnt have much choice even my mother stopped supporting me. I also royaly f****** up my back helping some friends move so I have a 8-10 months to go before I can think about the army again. I'm hoping to join the reserves when I move but untill then I'm stuck. 
thats life I guess  :-\


----------



## blacktriangle

I'm going into the reserves with any luck...

Most of my friends think it is weird that I am interested in joining the military, but I don't care. They all work at mcdonalds and swiss chalet doing boring jobs that won't really benefit them in the long run. Honestly, most of them have no idea about the army or anything...not to mention thier moms won't let them join. I don't know if the military is my long time goal, but it will no doubt help me in a variety of careers... 

The army needs people, so why not me?


----------



## cadetmom

Hey, I'm a Cadet Mom.  My son has been in Army Cadets for 7 yrs.  He retired from Cadets in 2004 with the title of Regimental Sargeant Major for his Corps.  He was awarded a whole bunch of awards, medals of honor, bursary for college.  I was so proud of him.  I have talked to him about joining the army.  He loved beeing a Cadet.  He is now 19 , just graduated from Police Foundations Program at the college .  He is still attending Summer Camp as a civilian drum instructor and he will do it until he can.  I was hoping he would join the army but his heart is somewhere else right now.  So for our family it's the opposite than yours.  But I let it go.  You have to do what your heart desires.  As a parents you have to let go.And let your child decides what he wants to do for him or her to be happy in life.  So I will support his choice and if someday he joins the Army which I think he will eventually do.  But for now he has other things he wants to try.  I will be there to support him.  

I wish you the best of luck and do whatever your heart desires and I am sure that in the end your family will be supportive of your choice.  

I wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose to do.  Take care


----------



## DannyBoy

I would say who cares what anybody says, I know a few people who had the same problem. As many other people have already said do waht you feel is right, its your choice. The best way is to say screw them do your training as best you can and come back with your head held high.


----------



## Krazy Al

Just do what you think is right, consider what other people say but don't do it if you don't want to. Myself i will be 17 in a week and switching my  application from Reserve to Regular forces. I have some troubles at home and I can't say school is my favourite place although I do good when I try. I've always wanted to be in the army and the older I get the more I want to join, which is why I'm going in full time as soon as I can....which is now. If I get my application through before school ends then I'm going anyway, school is just not for me, Iv gotten to grade 12 without problems and I do good in my classes when I put my mind to it but the point is I wont be able to have a desk job, I wouldn't be able to stand it, I love excitement, going were nobody wants to go and doing what nobody want to do. I think that army life is perfect for me, I couldn't ask for anything more, I couldn't care less about the money, if they gave me a bed to sleep in and kept me fed and there was no pay I would still join. I'm not talking about being some aircraft technician or some techi I want to be in the field, outside and always striving to do my best and push myself to the limit regardless of what other people think I should be doing. I'm not joining to escape from something or because I think I have no other options, I'm joining because this is want I to do with my life. As long as you do this because you love it and really want it and not just to get away from troubles at home or because you've failed school and after a year you stumble upon the military and say "well..this is my last chance, Iv flushed my life down the toilet and the only thing I have hope for is the military because they are always looking for failures"...and if you think like this you are completely wrong. In some branches of the military you might not need to be a brain but physical fitness, mental Strength, honor, courage, obedience and many other qualities are needed that the average person does not have. So if your thinking that the Infantry is for the retards or stupid failures, in my opinion you couldn't be more wrong. And no matter what you do in the military or life as long as it keeps you happy and you couldn't see yourself doing anything else, you couldn't be more smart.


----------



## Mdrinka

So, today since I didn't sign up for college my parents started asking me what I wanted to do, and I told them I want to be in the CF infantry (just to clarify, don't think I made this decision 2 days ago, it's been a while and i'm pretty serious about it). My father started saying that's pityful and I might as well go drive a cab and that I deceive him and all that crap. What should I do about this? My father thinks since his brother was in the army, that he(my father) knows everything about it. It's pretty annoying and I don't know what to do.


----------



## stealthylizard

Depending on your age of course, it is your decision (provided you are the age of majority).  I haven't told my family yet, as I know some of them are against it.  I will wait until I get my job offer before mentioning it to them.  I kind of brought it up one day, but didn't go into specifics, or what I was applying for.  Call me a chicken****, lol.  I told them that I would be going to Quebec for part of my training, and that I am in the middle of the application process.  They don't know that it is for the CF, but my aunt was the first to guess it, but I didn't tell her she was right, because she is the biggest naysayer of it all.  Part of it is also I don't want to get my hopes up too high, or get them too worried about it until I actually have an offer.


----------



## TCBF

Some opposition is from people who are new to Canada and either had relatives who served in 'old country' military, or they themselves were persecuted by 'old country' military.

I am actually amazed that some can get over that and realize the Canada's military secures them from such a situation now. Many of them will join us, and many more will encourage and nurture their children to do so.

As for the Canadian born, we must understand that our workers paradise actually encourages an insulated ignorance among the masses, and critical thinking among Canadians is a rarity (think 'gun control'). 

Sheeple, not people.

Thus, we have maybe fifty years left as an independant country - 100, tops.


----------



## FastEddy

Mdrinka said:
			
		

> So, today since I didn't sign up for college my parents started asking me what I wanted to do, and I told them I want to be in the CF infantry (just to clarify, don't think I made this decision 2 days ago, it's been a while and i'm pretty serious about it). My father started saying that's pityful and I might as well go drive a cab and that I deceive him and all that crap. What should I do about this? My father thinks since his brother was in the army, that he(my father) knows everything about it. It's pretty annoying and I don't know what to do.




"Mdrinka" As mentioned, its your choice to make. If you have a passion follow it. You will never be satisfied or forfilled if you don't. Yes you must respect your parents and their guidance. But there are limits to these.

Having seen the mean streets of today and some of the youth that frequent them, I applaud the young Men & Women that choose to serve in the Service of their County. IMO there is no more a Higher and Noble Calling.

The resistance that you are experiencing from your Parents is normal and is only out of Love and concern for your safety. But the odds are more likely that you stand a better chance in getting killed or injured in a Traffic or Road Accident.

Keep us up to-date,

Cheers.


----------



## Mdrinka

FastEddy said:
			
		

> "Mdrinka" As mentioned, its your choice to make. If you have a passion follow it. You will never be satisfied or forfilled if you don't. Yes you must respect your parents and their guidance. But there are limits to these.
> 
> Having seen the mean streets of today and some of the youth that frequent them, I applaud the young Men & Women that choose to serve in the Service of their County. IMO there is no more a Higher and Noble Calling.
> 
> The resistance that you are experiencing from your Parents is normal and is only out of Love and concern for your safety. But the odds are more likely that you stand a better chance in getting killed or injured in a Traffic or Road Accident.
> 
> Keep us up to-date,
> 
> Cheers.



Thanks for the reply FastEddy, altough my parents are maybe less worried about the danger and my safety, my father thinks it's just deplorable to join infantry and that I should pump some gas if I'm not ambitious


----------



## Mike Baker

There will always be people putting your career choice in the dirt, no matter what it is, but that should never discourage you. If you want to serve our country, I am sure that you parents, even if they don't like the idea of Infantry. Good luck


----------



## TCBF

I have been a  011 Crewman for thirty years.  Many of the most professional, enlightened and intelligent soldiers that I have met have been 031 Infantrymen.  

Must be a well kept secret, I guess.

Anyway, you may not be able to tell your father any different, but you can eventually SHOW him different.


----------



## ronnychoi

Dude...my parents thought that there was something wrong with my friends and I for like 4 years because we wanted to go overseas to kill for a cause (civilian protection ect.). They are just starting to realize why we do this, 4-5 years later. Also, your parents love you and are naturally trying to protect you now and forever.

Just try to humour them and stick with it if thats what you want, good luck.


----------



## niner domestic

Mdrinka: Perhaps you and your parents can come to a compromise over your career choice by indicating to them that the CF is generous in offering education allowances for all members to utilize.  Offer your parents the midway that once enrolled and trained by the CF as an Infanteer, that you will seriously consider doing some post secondary courses to earn a degree.  

Show your parents that the CF as an employer, values education as much as your father apparently does.  That might help ease the situation and bring them around to giving your their full support.


----------



## GUNS

Dude, never call your parents ignorant because they don't agree with your career choice. 

Every parent has high aspirations for their children, unfortunately the military is not considered a preferable career choose.

Educate your parents about the CF and sit down and discuss why you want to join. Word of advice" don't mention combat at that time".

Assuming you are of age, the choice is your to make.


----------



## MattP

Being only 16, I had a hard time convincing my parents to let me join the Artillery (reserves). At the time, they were dead set against it, the main thing is to remember that not all people will agree with you, even your parents. Its important to respect their points of view, and where they are coming from. One night, try to sit down over dinner and have a logical, calm discussion regarding the military. I realize that your of age to join without parental consent, but gaining there 'best wishes' will make a big difference. If it is something that you truly want to do, well then, persue it! just keep an open mind and be willing to put up with all sorts of arguments.

You will encounter ignorance, rudeness and at times, even hatered for your chosen profession. I get this all the time at school, among friends, and even going down to work, the most important thing is to just brush it off, don't let it get to you, just keep at it.  Its not easy by any means. Again, keep an open mind, be open to talk to your parents. The CF is an excellent employer, not many people my age even have jobs, let alone a good paying, secure and rewarding job. Try and stress to them the pro's of the CF (ie. education, pay, housing etc.. - assuming your talking reg force). They may come around, they may not. 

so, to sum up my mindless rabble - persue your dreams, its your life, but try and talk about this with your parents

Matt


----------



## kolkol

Yeah, I'm kind of having that problem too. I'm going to talk to my Grandpa about it, he was a Lieutenant-Colonel. 
I've joked about it with my mom, she says do whatever you really want to do. 
I hinted at it today to my Dad, and he says the army is for "useless grunts who have no future"
"tell that to Grandpa" said I  ;D


The thing is, I've wanted to be a pilot since a baby, not necessarily in the air force, but now I'm seriously considering Infantry, and for them it must be weird seeing me turn on such a lifelong dream.


----------



## MattP

I actually had my heart set on being a pilot ever since I was a child. Look where I ended up   (by choice)


----------



## kolkol

Yeah, being a pilot would be a lot of fun and all, but I want to be on the front lines,serving my country on the battlefield. Even as a fighter jet pilot you can;t really accomplish that. Plus I hate dam terrorists and wouldn't mind putting a bullet or two in their heads.  :threat:


----------



## warspite

When I firsted suggested it, my Dad said no unless I was going to become a doctor.... and my mom said NO. Once my dad realized I wasn't kidding and when I managed to answer 2 hours of his questions on my choice he has supported me ever since. My mom's finally accepted what I want to do. As for the rest of my family, they've gotten used to the idea. ;D

My point is show them your serious and be as well informed as posible to explain why. Good luck.

Then the only problem is waiting two years before you can join :brickwall:


----------



## FrenchAffair

He does make a valid point. If you have the opportunity to go to college/university you should. If you still want to join the army in a unskilled position then at least you have something you can fall back on. You are not going to make a lot of money in the military, especial as a non-officer and if you have the intelligence to get into college/university the infantry will not be much of a challenging job, it might get boring. I would suggest trying to get in as an officer. You can do your training in the reserves and go to university at the same time.


----------



## kolkol

Thats exactly what I'm going to do. Going to call the Seaforths tomorrow


----------



## Roy Harding

GUNS said:
			
		

> Dude, never call your parents ignorant because they don't agree with your career choice.
> 
> ...



Absolutely.

My middle son and I had an argument a few (four) years ago regarding his choice of careers.  He is a psychologist, and I'm extremely proud of him.

The argument involved my belief that psychology is a "soft" science - not based on reliable, repeatable, demonstrable science.  He took extreme umbrage at my opinion, and I haven't heard from him since.  There are (of course) many other mitigating factors - but it boils down to his belief in my "ignorance", and my own bullheadedness regarding the "social" sciences.

Your career choice is not worth a schism in the family fabric.  LISTEN to your parents (that doesn't mean you have to AGREE with them) - although they may object to your career choice, they WILL remain proud of you.  Once you are of the age of majority you're going to do what you want anyway - don't make it a "cause celebre" just because you disagree with their opinion.

For what it's worth:  my oldest son (a Mechanical Engineer), and my youngest son (a Registered Nurse) never had this type of disagreement with me - but by the same token I didn't have the same criticism of their chosen vocations (neither being a "soft" science).

I don't know any of your parents - but from what's been described, some of you may be in for a rough time.  So be it - but don't burn your bridges.  Do what you need to do, and remember that no matter how much your parents may disagree - they WILL be proud of you.


Roy


----------



## MattP

very true sir


----------



## Roy Harding

FrenchAffair said:
			
		

> He does make a valid point. If you have the opportunity to go to college/university you should. If you still want to join the army in a unskilled position then at least you have something you can fall back on. You are not going to make a lot of money in the military, especial as a non-officer and if you have the intelligence to get into college/university the infantry will not be much of a challenging job, it might get boring. I would suggest trying to get in as an officer. You can do your training in the reserves and go to university at the same time.



Wow.  Are you ever full of yourself.

There ARE no "unskilled" positions in the military.

"Intelligence" has little to do with success in University, and MUCH to do with success in the Infantry.

I hold a Bachelors (earned while serving), and I'm working on a Masters.  I spent my career in the military as a Pte/NCO/WO - go figure.

Education is a wonderful thing - and should be pursued whenever possible (even, perhaps ESPECIALLY on your OWN - for the pure joy of it, not for the perceived advantages it conveys) - but it does not implicitly make one a more intelligent person.

I ASSUME you are either in, or in the process of joining, as an Officer.  If that's the case - be prepared for some serious ego deflation in your future.

You are correct, however, in that if one has the opportunity to further one's education, one should take advantage of that opportunity.


Roy


----------



## MattP

FrenchAffair said:
			
		

> the infantry will not be much of a challenging job, it might get boring.



I'm not an infanteer, nor an officer, but I've never heard anyone say the infantry isn't challenging, and I've defiantly never heard anyone say its boring. Where do you draw your conclusions from? (not ignorance, I'm genuinely curious)


----------



## FrenchAffair

MattP said:
			
		

> I'm not an infanteer, nor an officer, but I've never heard anyone say the infantry isn't challenging, and I've defiantly never heard anyone say its boring. Where do you draw your conclusions from? (not ignorance, I'm genuinely curious)



Challenging in aspects, but not intellectually so.  And of course there are times when it is not boring. But the day to day grind of the average grunt is not that exciting.


----------



## RangerRay

FrenchAffair said:
			
		

> He does make a valid point. If you have the opportunity to go to college/university you should. If you still want to join the army in a unskilled position then at least you have something you can fall back on. You are not going to make a lot of money in the military, especial as a non-officer and if you have the intelligence to get into college/university the infantry will not be much of a challenging job, it might get boring. I would suggest trying to get in as an officer. You can do your training in the reserves and go to university at the same time.



Actually, I've found combat arms NCOs to be the most intelligent and articulate posters here on army.ca.  I have a bachelor's degree, and I am no where near as articulate as they are.


----------



## kolkol

RangerRay said:
			
		

> Actually, I've found combat arms NCOs to be the most intelligent and articulate posters here on army.ca.  I have a bachelor's degree, and I am no where near as articulate as they are.



I guess when you put your life on the line day in and day out you can see through the bullsh!t and see what really matters.


----------



## Roy Harding

FrenchAffair said:
			
		

> Challenging in aspects, but not intellectually so.  And of course there are times when it is not boring. But the day to day grind of the average grunt is not that exciting.



FrenchAffair:

Your profile says you are 20, and that's ALL it says.  I don't think you know what you're talking about.

ALL jobs have a "day to day grind" aspect to them.

Based on your extremely thin profile (and a perusal of your past posts), I don't think you have any idea how "intellectually" challenging ANY trade is - I think you're still in school, full of yourself, full of "book knowledge", lacking in "world experience" and unaware of just how ignorant you are.

Some of your posts are thought provoking and well researched.  But in this particular case, I think you are well outside of your experience area.


Roy


----------



## Pte_Martin

FrenchAffair said:
			
		

> He does make a valid point. If you have the opportunity to go to college/university you should. If you still want to join the army in a unskilled position then at least you have something you can fall back on. *You are not going to make a lot of money in the military,* especial as a non-officer and if you have the intelligence to get into college/university the infantry will not be much of a challenging job, it might get boring. I would suggest trying to get in as an officer. You can do your training in the reserves and go to university at the same time.



As others have already stated please fill out your profile a bit more. How do you know how much money the military makes? Yes it is posted on websites but that is just a base salary. Speaking from an Infantry point of view, I make enough to survive and be happy, There's still field pay i get when i spend time in the field and going on tour you make a fair bit  ;D As of the job yes like any job there are days were it's slow and painful but the days were we go out and rappel and shoot outnumbers the slow days by far!


----------



## Bane

> non-officer and if you have the intelligence to get into college/university the infantry will not be much of a challenging job





> Challenging in aspects, but not intellectually so.



FrenchAffair, please tell me you are trolling and not really that out to lunch.




Mod's, I saved you some work by not typing what I really really really wanted to.


----------



## Old and Tired

{QUOTE}
He does make a valid point. If you have the opportunity to go to college/university you should. If you still want to join the army in a unskilled position then at least you have something you can fall back on. You are not going to make a lot of money in the military, especial as a non-officer and if you have the intelligence to get into college/university the infantry will not be much of a challenging job, it might get boring. I would suggest trying to get in as an officer. You can do your training in the reserves and go to university at the same time. {UNQUOTE}

I must say that I find this a little distressing. In the past month I've gone to several funerals for some of the best and brightest people I've ever met. They were Soldiers, Students and Friends. All were brilliant in their own way.  I no way were they UNSKILLED.  Donny Lucas had a set of skills and knowledge that I can only dream of having.  Chris Stannix was one of the most educated, thoughtful (but humorous) people I've met.

I guess I'm lucky. I'm the fourth generation of my family in Canada to serve in the Army. Even though I took a different route than my parents would have liked, All the comments that others have made apply. They never failed to support what I choose as a career.


----------



## Panzer Grenadier

I went to college, and I stilled joined knowing full well what I was getting into.  My parents were behind the whole way and like to state that I am in the CF as often as they can. My grandmother does have some reservations about me being in, but other than that I have full family support, a college diploma, and membership in very tight nit group, made up of individuals who are professional, intelligent, and think about more than just themselves and their colleagues but the nation as a whole.


----------



## FastEddy

FrenchAffair said:
			
		

> Challenging in aspects, but not intellectually so.  And of course there are times when it is not boring. But the day to day grind of the average grunt is not that exciting.







"FrenchAffair"    [size=10pt][size=10pt][size=10pt]HOW WOULD YOU KNOW ?[/size][/size][/size]


----------



## stealthylizard

Even in the Reserves I was never "bored".  Sure there were menial tasks, but that goes with every job.  I quite enjoyed the challenge of my BMQ (R).  I didn't do great, but I wasn't horrible in any aspect either, except for maybe chin ups (never been my strong suit).  I also made the mistake of it being known that I was a former cadet, so eyes were always on me.  I think I actually received more chits for that simple knowledge because I should have known better when I did screw up, lol.  

Best advice, try the Reserves while you are in school.  It will give you a sample of military life without the commitment issues, and will still allow you to pursue education.  After your post secondary years are over, you should have a better idea of what it is you want to do........ and if your choice is still the military, you have a couple feet in the door for Officer consideration.  Experience and Education.  But in the end, it is your choice.  Do what is right in your heart and mind, and pay no attention to what others may think about it.  A great many people here have been in your position, especially in this day and age.


----------



## lady therese

Mdrinka said:
			
		

> So, today since I didn't sign up for college my parents started asking me what I wanted to do, and I told them I want to be in the CF infantry (just to clarify, don't think I made this decision 2 days ago, it's been a while and I'm pretty serious about it). My father started saying that's pitiful and I might as well go drive a cab and that I deceive him and all that crap. What should I do about this? My father thinks since his brother was in the army, that he(my father) knows everything about it. It's pretty annoying and I don't know what to do.



I have experienced the same thing when I decided to take up my course. It maybe a common problem but it really hurts when parents underestimate your judgment. Right? They seem to know everything sometimes. Anyway, hardheaded as I am, I continued with it and performed well on it. It is a good motivation I guess to prove to your parents that they are wrong in not believing in you....

On the other side, they just fear for you because it is quite a risky field. I am really proud of parents who selflessly give their child for the country. Though dangerous, it is a very noble field. 

Go for it! 
____________________
The best girl boarding school.


----------



## SPC

Hi, I want to join the reserves so I can see what the army is like on a part-time basis.  Im 16 as of now.  I want to join and take part in the army during the school year, but I do not think I can balance school and a military job.  Therefore I want to enlist for the summer of 2008.  By then I will be 17.  The problem is that both of my parents are being extremely difficult.  Every time I bring up a discussion about the army it just follows by a bunch of yelling and screaming with a basic NO.  They hide my application papers like theyre ashamed of it.  They wont even let me explain what I want to do.  All I hear is that Im going to get killed/brainwashed/raped in the army (yeah, they said that), and that the army is for losers.  This is something I really want to do because its something that counts and is worthwhile and interesting, rather than sitting around flippin burgers.  In essence, do I need their consent to join the reserves if im 17 years old?  And if I join for the summer of 2008, will I go for 2 months of straight Basic Training in St. Jean Quebec, or do I still do it one night a week, and then every other weekend or so?
Sorry if you think this post is irrelevant but all the influences around me are just so negative and outright ridiculous its gonna make me go nuts.


----------



## Michael OLeary

SPC , here are a few threads from the Recruiting FAQ]http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/21101.0.html]Recruiting FAQ for you to start with:

Convincing my parents   --  http://army.ca/forums/threads/13678.0
I think my head is going to explode [resistance from friends and family] --  http://army.ca/forums/threads/19887.0.html

As you work your way through other threads in the FAQ, you'll also find many of your other questions answered.


----------



## Cody Scott

The reserves wont neccessarily cut in with school work, its a once a week thing, and its pretty good
you dont need their consent on joining if your 17
but if this is what you want to do, do it.
tell your parents that your doing it, its what i did.


----------



## Pte.Butt

CSAries89 said:
			
		

> The reserves wont neccessarily cut in with school work, its a once a week thing, and its pretty good
> you dont need their consent on joining if your 17
> but if this is what you want to do, do it.
> tell your parents that your doing it, its what i did.



You need to be at least 18 years of age, to join any branch of the Canadian Forces.


----------



## SupersonicMax

Pte.Butt said:
			
		

> You need to be at least 18 years of age, to join any branch of the Canadian Forces.



Then tell me how I joined at 16 

Max


----------



## Pte.Butt

SupersonicMax said:
			
		

> Then tell me how I joined at 16
> 
> Max



With parental consent that is! I forgot to mention that in my previous post!


----------



## Scott

SPC, three topics you've started so far and each of them would have been unnecessary if you have have performed a search of the site as has been suggested to you, so far, in all three topics.

I hope you've gotten the answers you've been looking for and next time please do a search.

Locked.


----------



## dustinm

My parents are adamant about my not joining the Reg Force (or the PRes, for that matter.)

Same old party lines. They think I'll be deployed and shot at, and that I can't pass the fitness evaluation, and all that stuff. They just don't listen. I'll be turning 18 in approximately two hours, and am adamant about applying. Unfortunately my nearest CFRC is about a 30 minute drive from here, and as I have no licence getting there under their watch is a pain.

It's unfortunate that I live at home, because I will need their absence or their support in order to complete the application process (as far as getting to the CFAT and interview) and get to St-Jean.

Anything you can recommend?


----------



## derael

I think its funny how people try to use "away from" motivation or de-motivation for that matter to influence themselves or others. Going away from what they don't want instead of toward what they do want.

You're 18 now. It's your life, not your parents. You make your choices for yourself and your happiness, not theirs.

Tell them how you feel and what you want to do. If they still object and won't help you get there you'll have to find some alternate means of applying. Phone a recruiter.


----------



## dustinm

derael said:
			
		

> I think its funny how people try to use "away from" motivation or de-motivation for that matter to influence themselves or others. Going away from what they don't want instead of toward what they do want.
> 
> You're 18 now. It's your life, not your parents. You make your choices for yourself and your happiness, not theirs.
> 
> Tell them how you feel and what you want to do. If they still object and won't help you get there you'll have to find some alternate means of applying. Phone a recruiter.



I appreciate that advice. I'll make some phone calls tomorrow and see what I can do.  

*_Milnet.ca staff edit for site policy_*


----------



## bms

Well dustinm, let's look at this at the worst case scenerio. You can download and print all the forms required for application and then mail it in along with photocopies of required documents(SIN, Transcripts, etc..). Then the CFRC calls. You tell them that you have no immediate transportation. They'll say, "Take a cab. We'll reimburse you.". So there you go, you now have transportation to and from the CFRC for your CFAT, medical, and interview. And then any trips to the CFRC after that are likely to be reimbursed. I mean, my local CFRC(which isn't really local) offered to put me up in a hotel the night before my CFAT, medical, and interview. 

 I don't know why parents have so much distrust in the CF. My family never tried to talk me out of it(in fact a certain uncle talked me into it), even when I was very upfront that I want to be in the Combat Arms. It's really odd(at least to me). Ah well.


----------



## dustinm

bms said:
			
		

> Well dustinm, let's look at this at the worst case scenerio. You can download and print all the forms required for application and then mail it in along with photocopies of required documents(SIN, Transcripts, etc..). Then the CFRC calls. You tell them that you have no immediate transportation. They'll say, "Take a cab. We'll reimburse you.". So there you go, you now have transportation to and from the CFRC for your CFAT, medical, and interview. And then any trips to the CFRC after that are likely to be reimbursed. I mean, my local CFRC(which isn't really local) offered to put me up in a hotel the night before my CFAT, medical, and interview.
> 
> I don't know why parents have so much distrust in the CF. My family never tried to talk me out of it(in fact a certain uncle talked me into it), even when I was very upfront that I want to be in the Combat Arms. It's really odd(at least to me). Ah well.



You know, I never thought of taking a cab! Whether it's reimbursed or not, that's a good idea. As for family distrust, I'm pretty sure most parents' impressions of the Canadian Forces come from watching Vietnam War movies about the US Army in the 80s.


----------



## TCBF

dustinm said:
			
		

> ... I'm pretty sure most parents' impressions of the Canadian Forces come from watching Vietnam War movies about the US Army in the 80s.



- Standard.  In fact, I'll bet most RECRUITS iin the 1980s got their impressions of the Canadian Forces from watching Vietnam War movies.


----------



## ARMY_101

The best thing that can be done is to actually talk to your parents and find out why they're so against joining the military.  Are they worried about you being injured in combat?  Or killed?  Do they just not want you to leave home?  What sort of stigma are they carrying about the army?

It's already been mentioned that the idea of joining the Army comes from the Vietnam war movies.  Even today I'm sure people still think of the Basic Training in Full Metal Jacket or Rambo's rogue sprees in assessing all soldiers.  If they're worried about you being hurt or going through your training, then it's easy enough to tell them what you'll actually be going over in your training.  There's no hitting or punching like you'd see in some videos; you could instead focus on telling them about learning drill, gaining motivation, giving respect, and helping people across the world.


----------



## aesop081

I'm having a hard time convincing my cat to let me join the CF.

HELP  :-[


----------



## George Wallace

Take your parents with you when you go down to the CFRC and talk to someone there.  Sit there with your parents and watch some of the videos.  Pick the Trades that you are interested in and watch those videos with them.  Ask questions on what the Application process will involve.  Ask what kind of Training you will have to do to earn a Trade.  Ask if there are any programs that will subsidize your education and give you a Trade.  Point out to your parents that the CF will pay you to get an education.  Point out that the CF is not the American military, nor the Chilean military, nor the Chinese, etc.  The CF is not the same as any other military.  We have our own military, with its own style, morals and ethics, etc.  Ask all those questions with your parents there.

Just to clear up a little point; you will have to bring in originals of the following documents:  Birth Certificate, Proof of Citizenship, SIN card, education Transcripts, and Photo ID.  Photocopies are not accepted unless they are "Certified True Copies".  The CFRC will photocopy your originals and return them to you.


----------



## bms

I almost forgot. A good idea if you want to go Regular Force and convince your parents would be to sit down with them and show them the trade videos. On top of that, the new forces.ca flash site has videos on BMQ and BMOQ aswell as RMC. You could then supplement it with the reality series Basic Up(which follows some recruits as they go through the process). 

 I mean, all those videos highlight the really great things about the basic training and trades in the CF.


----------



## WannaBeFlyer

Good grief. If you are greater than 18 years of age, why does any convincing have to happen? I understand that you want them to support you, but you are not asking them to sign a permission slip so you can go on a field trip. Cut the cord & good luck!


----------



## medaid

You have never thought of taking a cab?! How bout a bus?! How bout a friend?! Doesn't sound very motivated to me... Not at all.

CDN Aviator, have your cat talk to my dog. My dog's very understanding individual. He even wanted to join up after I did!


----------



## the_girlfirend

I think that what Mr. Wallace wrote is the best thing to do... they are probably just afraid of the unknown.

But I personally had to remind my parents very often how lucky they were to have a good little girl like me...  ;D 
So maybe they need to be reminded to... Just tell them... I am not on drugs, I am healthy, I believe in myself, I want an education, a career... I am happy... you know sometimes they forget how lucky they are to have great healthy kids... 
You want to have a career that won't be easy and they should be proud of you... you should remind them.

good luck


----------



## dustinm

MedTech said:
			
		

> You have never thought of taking a cab?! How bout a bus?! How bout a friend?! Doesn't sound very motivated to me... Not at all.
> 
> CDN Aviator, have your cat talk to my dog. My dog's very understanding individual. He even wanted to join up after I did!



For the record, I did consider the bus. I can take a GO into my local CFRC and back. Making the bus match my schedule is an entirely different point. As for the friends, they're as against me joining as my parents. Even a PPLCI'er out of Wainwright.  :-\

Edit for typo.


----------



## aesop081

Dear Lord......you wont accept your parents opinions so you want to convince them by using the opinions of faceless stragers on the internet ?

You are 18, you want to join, grow some balls , stop making excuses ( the bus schedule, cant get there, yadi yadi yada....) and get on with it.


----------



## dustinm

CDN Aviator said:
			
		

> Dear Lord......you wont accept your parents opinions so you want to convince them by using the opinions of faceless stragers on the internet ?
> 
> You are 18, you want to join, grow some balls , stop making excuses ( the bus schedule, cant get there, yadi yadi yada....) and get on with it.



Thanks for all the (support?) I know my parents will be proud of me on graduation day; I'll be printing/mailing the stuff to the CFRC, and I'll present my going there when I need too. They had 18 years to challenge my career choices (which are numerous and varied.), it's my turn now.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to grow some balls. :warstory:


----------



## ARMY_101

Good to hear that you're enlisting, but you can at least try and go through some materials with them to show them what you'll be doing and what you can expect to encounter through your training.


----------



## Lil_T

dustinm said:
			
		

> For the record, I did consider the bus. I can take a GO into my local CFRC and back. Making the bus match my schedule is an entirely different point. As for the friends, they're as against me joining as my parents. Even a PPLCI'er out of Wainwright.  :-\
> 
> Edit for typo.



Take a day out of your time and just do it! It sounds like a lot of excuses to me.  Parents, friends, bus... come on.  Yeah, it took me 13 years to actually step up and start the process, but at least I was aware of the fact that I was standing in my own way.  You're a big boy now, it's time to take matters into your own hands.  

Keep your parents informed of what you're doing - but you really don't need their permission any more.


----------



## Marshall

I'd have to agree with the others. You are the only one stopping yourself from enlisting. My Parents were not too over enthusiastic when I told them I was joining. Eventually they accepted the fact and when I had to travel around 200 Kilometers to the CFRC for processing day (CFAT, Med, Interview) I simply thought out the best way to get there, my girlfriend's mother answered the call haha. 

There is always an option, if you really wanna join you can always.. hitchhike? (Although I do not recommend that  )


----------



## dustinm

Marshall said:
			
		

> I'd have to agree with the others. You are the only one stopping yourself from enlisting. My Parents were not too over enthusiastic when I told them I was joining. Eventually they accepted the fact and when I had to travel around 200 Kilometers to the CFRC for processing day (CFAT, Med, Interview) I simply thought out the best way to get there, my girlfriend's mother answered the call haha.
> 
> There is always an option, if you really wanna join you can always.. hitchhike? (Although I do not recommend that  )



Well, hitchhiking is definitely not the best way to go, but I have sorted things out and will be enlisting (with my parents agreeing to visit with a recruiter) once I meet the prereqs for my trade. So thanks for all the help


----------



## Fusaki

Neo Cortex said:
			
		

> My parents are adamant about my not joining the Reg Force (or the PRes, for that matter.)
> 
> Same old party lines. They think I'll be deployed and shot at, and that I can't pass the fitness evaluation, and all that stuff. They just don't listen. I'll be turning 18 in approximately two hours, and am adamant about applying. Unfortunately my nearest CFRC is about a 30 minute drive from here, and as I have no licence getting there under their watch is a pain.
> 
> It's unfortunate that I live at home, because I will need their absence or their support in order to complete the application process (as far as getting to the CFAT and interview) and get to St-Jean.
> 
> Anything you can recommend?



Alright man, I gave a quick browse through your posting history and it looks to me like you're interested in the infantry.

Here's the thing about infantry guys: some in the public have this perception of us that we're just grunts, apes, cavemen, and mindless robots.  They think that we've been brainwashed into conducting human wave attacks in the face of heavily defended positions only to lay down our lives for Queen and Country.

But the truth of the matter is this: We're a bunch of resourceful motherfuckers. The traits we respect are intelligence, drive, and flexible thinking.  I don't want to work with robots.  I want to work with tactical analysts. Guys who will *find a way* in the face of the most dire odds and have the aggression to see that plan through.

If _you_ want to do what we do, then _you_ will have to find a way.  You'll either step up or step aside, because we're a country at war and the end result is all that matters.


----------



## Marshall

Neo Cortex said:
			
		

> Well, hitchhiking is definitely not the best way to go, but I have sorted things out and will be enlisting (with my parents agreeing to visit with a recruiter) once I meet the prereqs for my trade. So thanks for all the help



Thats good that you sorted it out. 

And nice post Wonderbread


----------



## bigwood

And by that i mean career wise...(i have done some research but just want opinions) I am not in the army, but i am considering it. Currently im a grade 12 grad in college to become an automotive technician (mechanic) but to be honest im not enjoying it as much as i thought i would have. Its an apprenticeship course and with the economy the way it is i cant find a good job. Im stuck at Jiffy lube chaning oil on cars. I should be doing regular mechanic work but who wants to hire an 18 year old unexperienced kid...I was on the forces website and saw that the military does to apprenticeships and its not nearly as long as the one im doing right now. My dad owns his own company called global defense incorporated and builds components for the military and its vehicles so i have always been interested in the military. Im not sure how my parents would handle me wanting to join the force. Physically im in decent shape (strength is not an issue, stamina might be). I am a powerlifting, I compete nationally and i hold a record for ontario. (powerlifting for anyone who doesnt know is a type of weight lifting, the 3 main lifts are squat, benchpress and deadlift. the 3 most compound movements) i went for a run the other day just to see what i could do and it was disappointing. The weather didn't help either but i know that shouldnt matter either. i ran the 2.4 km in around 15 mins which i could easily bring down to under 12 in about a month.

anyways sorry about the long story. really all i would like to know is if the force is a good career choice...


----------



## Michael OLeary

Generally, you'll find that most people posting here will say it is a good career choice, but that it's not for everyone.

A visit to your local Recruiting Centre to ask about your options is always a good idea.


----------



## bigwood

Michael O'Leary said:
			
		

> Generally, you'll find that most people posting here will say it is a good career choice, but that it's not for everyone.
> 
> A visit to your local Recruiting Centre to ask about your options is always a good idea.



i will probably give them a call one of these days to see if i need to make an appointment or anything to come talk to one.

i just dont know how my parents would handle me joining the military, lol any good ice breakers?


----------



## Michael OLeary

bigwood said:
			
		

> ...., lol any good ice breakers?




_"Mom, Dad, I've been thinking, before I settle down for 30 or 40 years of fixing cars, I want to spend a few years doing something really different ..... "_


----------



## X2012

Honestly, I thought that the parent thing would be a really big deal for me, but it wasn't at all. Mum had figured it out before I had told her (I swear she's psychic!), and despite being super-protective, she just told me that she was going to worry no matter what, so I should go live my dreams. I hope it goes well for you. Your parents want you to be happy, but they will definitely worry. Just have the plan all laid out if you're worried, then they can tell that you put thought into it and actually know what it is you're getting into.


----------



## bigwood

X2012 said:
			
		

> Honestly, I thought that the parent thing would be a really big deal for me, but it wasn't at all. Mum had figured it out before I had told her (I swear she's psychic!), and despite being super-protective, she just told me that she was going to worry no matter what, so I should go live my dreams. I hope it goes well for you. Your parents want you to be happy, but they will definitely worry. Just have the plan all laid out if you're worried, then they can tell that you put thought into it and actually know what it is you're getting into.



good point. im thinkin i could approach them with saying that the army does apprenticeships with working on military vehicles (which i am vert interested in). they know im miserable at my current job/state if life. so that would work.


----------



## aesop081

You're 18 right ?


----------



## Sub_Guy

bigwood said:
			
		

> i just dont know how my parents would handle me joining the military, lol any good ice breakers?



Would they rather you live in the basement?

"Mom, Dad I joined the military!"


----------



## George Wallace

When I turned 18, I started doing 'adult things' like move out of my parents house and get an education and a job.  Are you an adult or some kind of house pet?  Hopefully, you have some sort of life plan ahead of you.  Start it now.


----------



## SoldierInTheMaking

When I was 15 that was the first time told my mom I wanted to join the military when I was older. I brought it up again when I was 16 and again 17, finally when I turned 18 I started talking about it a lot more. I live with my mom so I never talked about it much to my dad until I was 18. Really all I did was call him one day and told him that is what I want to do, he did have his doubts and didn't really want me doing it, but after talking to him about it for a while and him realizing that this is what I really want to do, he understood that and he's happy for me. When I told him I was going for infantry he say's "isn't their something else you can do, like work with computer's" lol I told him no dad that's not what I want to do I want to be right in the action, and that's how it went for me.


----------



## FastEddy

[quote 
[/quote]

Hi Bigwood got your PM okay, check for answer.

Cheers.


----------



## Ex-Dragoon

George Wallace said:
			
		

> *When I turned 18, I started doing 'adult things' like move out of my parents house and get an education and a job.*  Are you an adult or some kind of house pet?  Hopefully, you have some sort of life plan ahead of you.  Start it now.



Was that around the time the British set fire to Washington?


----------



## stewacide

George Wallace said:
			
		

> When I turned 18, I started doing 'adult things' like move out of my parents house and get an education and a job.  Are you an adult or some kind of house pet?  Hopefully, you have some sort of life plan ahead of you.  Start it now.



The economy isn't what it used to be. A college or university education is the new high school, except it leaves you either in debt or living at home well into your 20s (a little bit of both in my case )

Particularly here in the country's industrial heartland the difference in expected outcomes between my 20-something peers who are stuck in minimum-wage-slavery or in transitory resource work, and their parents who got obscenely well paid factory and public service jobs out of high school, is frighteningly stark.


----------



## PMedMoe

stewacide said:
			
		

> The economy isn't what it used to be. A college or university education is the new high school, except it leaves you either in debt or living at home well into your 20s (a little bit of both in my case )
> 
> Particularly here in the country's industrial heartland the difference in expected outcomes between my 20-something peers who are stuck in minimum-wage-slavery or in transitory resource work, and their parents who got obscenely well paid factory and public service jobs out of high school, is frighteningly stark.



Give me a freakin' break.  I moved out with a minimum wage paying job and lived in, basically, a rooming house where I had a living room/sitting room/bedroom, a kitchen across the hall and shared a bath.   It's called living without; as in without a car, without a cellphone, without all the cable channels......

Oh, and I had my student loan to pay off too.   :


----------



## Journeyman

bigwood said:
			
		

> My dad owns his own company called global defense incorporated



Your father owns Global Defense Inc?
....of Austin, Texas....with the American spelling of "defence" and all.....


----------



## bigwood

George Wallace said:
			
		

> When I turned 18, I started doing 'adult things' like move out of my parents house and get an education and a job.  Are you an adult or some kind of house pet?  Hopefully, you have some sort of life plan ahead of you.  Start it now.



Thats great im happy for you. Im not sure about how your home life was but mine is perfectly fine. There is no reason for me to move out. First of all i cant even afford to...and im in school as it is and i have a plan its just whether or not to stick to it or not...




			
				Journeyman said:
			
		

> Your father owns Global Defense Inc?
> ....of Austin, Texas....with the American spelling of "defence" and all.....



nope not in austin texas and sorry about the spelling.


----------



## stewacide

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> Give me a freakin' break...



My point isn't that minimum wage is terrible. I managed to _just_ pay all my expenses (tuition, rent, food, books and everything) making minimum wage and living as frugally as possible.

My point is it's vanishingly hard to progress beyond minimum wage nowadays - to get a secure career and make middle-class money - with just high school. Those jobs are either disappearing (private sector union jobs), or increasingly require a degree (most decent white collar and public sector jobs)... or else they're what most people would consider precarious hardship professions like the military or resource extraction.

To tell someone just out of highschool to they need to move out and get a job is to doom them to a marginal existence their entire lives. It'd be pretty frightening to be 40 years old making $11 an hour, particularly with dependants. It'd be nearly impossible to try and go through college or university at that age with no support.


----------



## PMedMoe

stewacide said:
			
		

> To tell someone just out of highschool to they need to move out and get a job is to doom them to a marginal existence their entire lives.



I don't know about that, it would depend on the mindset of the person, wouldn't it?  I know many people whose parents _encouraged_ them to try and live on their own when they got a job.   They could come back if things didn't work out, but at least they got to experience independence.


----------



## JBoyd

Personally I feel there is a direct correlation between living with your parents and a lack of responsibility.

I moved out when I was 18, my girlfriend moved out when she was 16. Moving out is part of growing up, as well as becoming an adult. My sister is 24 this year, works part time, has been going to UBC for the past 3-4 years, moved out at 19 when she went to live in Japan for a year to teach. University is not an excuse to live with your parents, there are things called part-time jobs and roommates... they have been around for quite some time. 

Not sure what is wrong with parents today, because mine made it quite clear that when I was done High School I was on my own (which is also how I feel it should be). It seems that perhaps the lack of maturity and sense of entitlement in todays youth that is being talked about in this thread is true.


----------



## bigwood

JBoyd said:
			
		

> Personally I feel there is a direct correlation between living with your parents and a lack of responsibility.
> 
> I moved out when I was 18, my girlfriend moved out when she was 16. Moving out is part of growing up, as well as becoming an adult. My sister is 24 this year, works part time, has been going to UBC for the past 3-4 years, moved out at 19 when she went to live in Japan for a year to teach. University is not an excuse to live with your parents, there are things called part-time jobs and roommates... they have been around for quite some time.
> 
> Not sure what is wrong with parents today, because mine made it quite clear that when I was done High School I was on my own (which is also how I feel it should be). It seems that perhaps the lack of maturity and sense of entitlement in todays youth that is being talked about in this thread is true.



i understand where you are coming from. my parents are not these over protective easy going folks as you may think. I have a full time job and go to night school 2 nights a week. i dont make near enough to move out in my city it is crazy expensive around here to get in some where decent i rather live at home then in some crappy neighbour hood. I have 2 brothers, one who is now 28 moved out when he was 26, all because he went to school until he was about 23 then his job didnt give him security or the pay to move out until he got settled in.

anyways we are way off topic here on responsibility and the process of growing up. 

I started this thread to get motivated to join the forces or get some opinions on what i should do, not to be negatilvly crtisized about how I'm immature and should move out of my parents at the age of 18.


----------



## JBoyd

bigwood said:
			
		

> I started this thread to get motivated to join the forces or get some opinions on what i should do, not to be negatively criticized about how I'm immature and should move out of my parents at the age of 18.



Perhaps if you need to be 'motivated' to do something you should stop and reflect on why you are doing it in the first place. I am a firm believer in a work-life balance, meaning that if you are not happy in the work you do (that you take no passion in it) then your life will seemingly be out of balance. 

There will be many choices you will make in your life, especially now that you are an adult. None of these should require motivation; they should all be driven by want, need, and passion.


----------



## RubberTree

Just because _you_ moved out at 18 doesn't make it right or the only thing to do. Different families, different times. There's nothing wrong with an 18 year old living at home. If anything, its probably the most financially responsible thing to do in today's market. Stop with the grief...


----------



## aesop081

RubberTree said:
			
		

> There's nothing wrong with an 18 year old living at home.



You are right, there is nothing inherently wrong with that. That being said, at 18, having to ask perfect strangers on the internet what one should say to mom and dad........well........thats a bit much.


----------



## bigwood

CDN Aviator said:
			
		

> You are right, there is nothing inherently wrong with that. That being said, at 18, having to ask perfect strangers on the internet what one should say to mom and dad........well........thats a bit much.



i wasn't asking how to convince my parents how to let me join the military i was asking in general what is a good way to tell them im interested in signing up. Because lets face it-it's hard for parents (im assuming) to let their kid just go join the military...

I have no problem in just telling them im going to join, i just want to be able to back my self up to convince them that its a good idea...


----------



## JBoyd

bigwood said:
			
		

> i wasn't asking how to convince my parents how to let me join the military i was asking in general what is a good way to tell them im interested in signing up. Because lets face it-it's hard for parents (im assuming) to let their kid just go join the military...
> 
> I have no problem in just telling them im going to join, i just want to be able to back my self up to convince them that its a good idea...



all in all there is no convincing needed, you are an adult now and ultimately the decision is yours. That being said, tell them the reasons why you want to join, why joining is important to you. My dad has always wanted me to join so there was no apprehension when I told him I had applied, my mother obviously worried. I told her the reasons I wanted to join (great career opportunity, government job, pension, security for my family, etc). My advice to you is just be honest with your parents and tell them what made you want to join no matter how silly it may seem.


----------



## bigwood

JBoyd said:
			
		

> all in all there is no convincing needed, you are an adult now and ultimately the decision is yours. That being said, tell them the reasons why you want to join, why joining is important to you. My dad has always wanted me to join so there was no apprehension when I told him I had applied, my mother obviously worried. I told her the reasons I wanted to join (great career opportunity, government job, pension, security for my family, etc). My advice to you is just be honest with your parents and tell them what made you want to join no matter how silly it may seem.



Thank you, thats what i was looking for.


----------



## BradCon

Depending on how much you like them, you can just apply and tell them the day before you ship out.


----------



## bigwood

BravoCharlie said:
			
		

> Depending on how much you like them, you can just apply and tell them the day before you ship out.



thats always an option.

now a question for everyone who is currently a full time INF soldier (in all categories like arty and even armoured soldiers)

do you really like or even love your job? the reason im asking is that im not one of those guys that have dreamed of being in the army since i was young, nor did any family members inspire me to join. Im looking into the military because my current career choice is in the shitter and was hoping to find something new. But do you have to be a full out gung-ho personality of a person to be in the military? I would like to know if there was anyone similar to me that just joined because of interest and loves it.


----------



## mariomike

There must be some, but I can't recall anyone who wasn't proud of having been a member of the CF. Whether in war or peace, regular or reserve, long time or short time.


----------



## PMedMoe

Just don't forget that being in the CF isn't like some other jobs where you can quit when you want or just not show up.  In my experience, it's like doing circuit training for PT, you get out of it what you put into it.


----------



## mariomike

Just like the good old song says, "There's no life like it!"


----------



## bigwood

mariomike said:
			
		

> Just like the good old song says, "There's no life like it!"



this i can understand.

As i think about it more and more there are more do's and dont's about why i should join. but its the donts that are keeping me from joining or going to talk to a recruiter atleast. The way i see it, your working 24 hours a day(other then sleep) and your always at the same place for long periods of time with little freedoms (as far as i know...) I have seadoo's and atvs i like to ride on the weekends, i would pretty much have to sell them if i joined, no point in paying insurance while they just sit. ( i know this information is probably innacurate but it is what i have gained from reading some things)

On the other hand i like the idea of the discipline and be honor'd to be able to say im part of the CF. If my life went to absoulte crap and i got kicked out of my house and fired i would probably try to join that day(over exaduration) I think im just going to let the idea sit for a while, atleast until my term is done at school.


----------



## Kat Stevens

Good to know the CF is your employer of last resort.  I'm sure a recruiting van will be along shortly to scoop you up.


----------



## George Wallace

bigwood said:
			
		

> this i can understand.
> 
> As i think about it more and more there are more do's and dont's about why i should join. but its the donts that are keeping me from joining or going to talk to a recruiter atleast. The way i see it, your working 24 hours a day(other then sleep) and your always at the same place for long periods of time with little freedoms (as far as i know...) I have seadoo's and atvs i like to ride on the weekends, i would pretty much have to sell them if i joined, no point in paying insurance while they just sit.
> 
> On the other hand i like the idea of the discipline and being able to say im part of the CF. If my life went to absoulte shit and i got kicked out of my house and fired i would probably try to join that day. I think im just going to let the idea sit for a while, atleast until my term is done at school.



I really don't know how much 'serious' research you have done, as it appears you have done absolutely none after reading this.  "Why?" you may ask.  It is because this post of yours is right out to lunch (ROTFL).


Oh!  If you got kicked out of your house tomorrow, you'd become a 'Homeless Street person' for a couple of months (minimum) as you Enrolment process into the CF is not the simple tapping on your head with a magic wand; it takes quite a bit of time.  Perhaps you should read some of the posts on how long it takes.


----------



## aesop081

bigwood said:
			
		

> and being able to say im part of the CF.



 :


----------



## Antoine

Friendly advice:

I am suspecting that in this forum there is many people that could easily find a good job in the civil life but they want to contribute to our country and the CF, they are ready to sacrifice a lot and not because it is their last resort choice ! 

So it looks like you might got a "what not to do" but I am not a Mod of this forum neither a CF member for now, so it is only my  :2c: suggestion.

P.S.: The CFRC are going to answer your questions without biting you, neither they will force you to join !


----------



## hotei

bigwood said:
			
		

> this i can understand.
> 
> As i think about it more and more there are more do's and dont's about why i should join. but its the donts that are keeping me from joining or going to talk to a recruiter atleast.



These are the words of a quitter -- nay, since a quitter must, by its very definition start. These are the words of someone who was never terribly serious in the first place. I know this because as I have said before, I hemmed and hawed over joining as well, but that didn't stop me from talking to a recruiter.



> The way i see it, your working 24 hours a day(other then sleep) and your always at the same place for long periods of time with little freedoms (as far as i know...)



Ummm... so all those folks that I see driving in their CADPAT fatigues going to and from work daily (NDHQ) must have no lives of their own. Seriously, what in sweet heaven are you talking about? That's right, an excuse is an excuse, it doesn't need to make sense.



> I have seadoo's and atvs i like to ride on the weekends, i would pretty much have to sell them if i joined, no point in paying insurance while they just sit. ( i know this information is probably innacurate but it is what i have gained from reading some things)



Perhaps I am the one who is out to lunch here, but why not simply cancel the insurance on them and store them. They are not fruit. They will not go bad. Or, sell them. However, if you are so attached to your life that you will not accept changing it (even in such a mild way) I do not think an institution which will move you around as frequently as the military does, is for you.



> On the other hand i like the idea of the discipline and be honor'd to be able to say im part of the CF. If my life went to absoulte crap and i got kicked out of my house and fired i would probably try to join that day(over exaduration) I think im just going to let the idea sit for a while, atleast until my term is done at school.



I think we can narrow this down quite nicely here. You like the "thought" of being in the military. You don't necessarily want to commit to that thought though. You haven't spoken with your parents (warning sign #1), you haven't bothered to speak with a recruiter (number two), or even one of the online recruiters (big ol' number 3). And to top it off, you admit quite blatantly that it is a last resort that you would only consider if you were kicked out of your house and fired. This pretty much tells the world that you are not serious in your pursuit of this matter.

Perhaps worst of all however is your crass and immature manner that you have presented yourself on here. You came here (I believe) sincerely looking for knowledge. You were given frank suggestions and opinions on the matter. You then turn and spit on the people who help you by somehow implying that their career choice is one of desperation and nothing more. Only once their lives had sunk to the deepest pits of desperation and despair would they consider joining an institution such as the Canadian military: one that you said you'd be honor'd [sic] to say you belonged to.

I'm sorry, but with an attitude like that, I think you will find yourself stepping on a lot of toes all your life.


----------



## bdave

bigwood said:
			
		

> And by that i mean career wise...(i have done some research but just want opinions) I am not in the army, but i am considering it. Currently im a grade 12 grad in college to become an automotive technician (mechanic) but to be honest im not enjoying it as much as i thought i would have. Its an apprenticeship course and with the economy the way it is i cant find a good job. Im stuck at Jiffy lube chaning oil on cars. I should be doing regular mechanic work but who wants to hire an 18 year old unexperienced kid...I was on the forces website and saw that the military does to apprenticeships and its not nearly as long as the one im doing right now. My dad owns his own company called global defense incorporated and builds components for the military and its vehicles so i have always been interested in the military. Im not sure how my parents would handle me wanting to join the force. Physically im in decent shape (strength is not an issue, stamina might be). I am a powerlifting, I compete nationally and i hold a record for ontario. (powerlifting for anyone who doesnt know is a type of weight lifting, the 3 main lifts are squat, benchpress and deadlift. the 3 most compound movements) i went for a run the other day just to see what i could do and it was disappointing. The weather didn't help either but i know that shouldnt matter either. i ran the 2.4 km in around 15 mins which i could easily bring down to under 12 in about a month.
> 
> anyways sorry about the long story. really all i would like to know is if the force is a good career choice...



Nice, what are your numbers? Are you raw? You could always do something in the army related to auto mechanic. It's probably a good career choice because you will acquire experience and you might find something you might enjoy. You only live once.


----------



## SixPie

Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum.
I live in Quebec and I will be starting my last year of high school in September, so naturally I looked into CEGEPS and 6th year programs for when I graduate.
I've always wanted to go into the army (as Combat Engineer, Infantry or Armoured), but at the same time I also wanted to get a bachelor's in engineering because I enjoy math, physics and science.
That being said, I spent a lot of time on CEGEP websites, forces.ca, and others contemplating my options. I fell upon RMC and their ROTP program. It was perfect for me, I could get the degree I wanted while getting some training and at the end of it all, pursue the military career I wanted as an officer.
The only problem are my parents, since they have to give parental consent. I have no idea how to break the news to them. They are both the parents that expect their really smart son to get into medical school right after CEGEP and end up making 250+ thousand a year. I don't think the idea of their son fighting in the army right after school is what they ever dreamed of.
I'm exasperated with this problem, I have to sit down with them before christmas because, I think, applications need to be made like all other CEGEPs, before march/february. And then I have to probably, since I'm not 100% sure how it works, go to the recruiting office with them and etc...etc...

So, I'm basically trying to find help on how I can actually talk to them and ease them into the idea. Things to say and other suggestions are welcomed. At the very least I want them to be proud of me and support me in my choice, even if they don't really agree with it entirely.


----------



## 3rdroyal

Hey here's an idea. Just tell them. 

My family freaked out when i said I wanted to join. They even tried to bribe me with a car. After many weeks of arguing and many lectures about "My son/grandson is better than that!", they did in the end see that it was MY choice. Just like it's YOUR choice. To this day, my grandparents think I'm just doing a short stint, and then going to university. They still haven't accepted my decision!

At the end of the day, if you are serious about joining, there will be a time when you don't need their consent.


----------



## ScotiaShooter

3rdroyal said:
			
		

> Hey here's an idea. Just tell them.
> 
> My family freaked out when i said I wanted to join. They even tried to bribe me with a car. After many weeks of arguing and many lectures about "My son/grandson is better than that!", they did in the end see that it was MY choice. Just like it's YOUR choice. To this day, my grandparents think I'm just doing a short stint, and then going to university. They still haven't accepted my decision!
> 
> At the end of the day, if you are serious about joining, there will be a time when you don't need their consent.



I agree with Royal. Give it to them straight it is your life after all and they can disagree and protest all they want but at the end of the day it is still your decision.

Although I think I got off pretty lucky as my mother grew up the daughter of a medic so she was rather happy with my decision.


----------



## Rinker

Yea my parents were none too happy even though they had 8 years or so to get used to the idea. Back then they just thought I was going through a phase. And the fact that I was pretty much straight A's without doing my Hw or studying they were expecting me to do something "hard/great". But you know they are family and they got used to the idea especially since I am only home for a few more weeks. Gramps never got used to the idea. But I didn't sign up to make them proud or happy. I did it for myself because that was what I wanted too do. And yes they signed my papers at age 17.


----------



## Another Mom

Sometimes parents are dismayed by their grown child's decision to join the  Forces not because of the danger  or "control issues" but for other reasons. We were against the idea because our son wanted a life of  adventure, danger, responsibility and physical  and mental challenge in an atmosphere of collaborative teamwork and we thought the reality would be something else. It was not so much we did not agree with what he wanted, but that we thought it would not turn out to be what HE wanted. We will support him to the ends of the earth, but we want him to be happy.


----------



## 1feral1

There will always be the left winged mums and dads out there not wanting their offspring to sign on regardless, but IMHO now there is a shooting war and the cream of our crop of the youth of Canada are dying, this brings out the others for many reasons, which I respect. 

If I had a son or daughter who wanted to get in, I would fully support their decision, not only CF/ADF wise, but if they wanted to do any occupation they so desired.

Its free country, but if one really wants to get in, you don't need consent after 18. It would be nice to have support, and to have proud patriotic parents and family.

At the end of the day, your life, and your choice to sign on, right or wrong, family and friends should be supportive. 

Respect is a two way street.

OWDU


----------



## mainerjohnthomas

I remember telling dad.  I was worried as he had always sworn that no son of his would join (tad bitter about UN Service in the Congo).  He'd lined up a union job with me in construction, and as I sat around the table with him, the foreman and the job super playing a game of four handed crib, I broke the news that I couldn't start work Monday, I was reporting to Basic instead.  Delivered calmly, everyone (except dad) at the table was pounding me on the back in congratulations, and by the time my Basic graduated, my father and grandfather were both in the stands to watch our parade.

How they take the news, and how they take your choices are two different things.  The news shatters their plans for you, and raises some legitimate fears.  You are an adult now, and your challenges are your own to chose.  Present it to them as the rational choice of a proud and confident adult, and in time that is how they will see it (in time).  Present it as an adolescent rebellion, and that is how they will treat it.

In the end if they cannot respect your choices, you had no chance of being respected as an adult anyway; you just found that out in a hurry.  If they can respect you, they will see your choices, and what you have become from following them.  To respect you, is to respect the choices that forged you.  It will come, if they care about you.


----------



## Bianca

mainerjohnthomas said:
			
		

> Present it to them as the rational choice of a proud and confident adult, and in time that is how they will see it (in time).  Present it as an adolescent rebellion, and that is how they will treat it.
> 
> In the end if they cannot respect your choices, you had no chance of being respected as an adult anyway; you just found that out in a hurry.  If they can respect you, they will see your choices, and what you have become from following them.  To respect you, is to respect the choices that forged you.  It will come, if they care about you.



Sorry to bump an old thread, but I just wanted to say thank you- this helped me a lot. I am planning on telling my father next weekend and I have no idea how he will react. I feel like it would be easier if he would get upset, cause then I could just debate it with him- but I feel like I will just get a silent look of disappointment. I guess I'll have to bite the bullet and find out!

And a big thanks to all of you, the posts here are a big help and a great resource. I went into the CFRC last week to pick up the Fitness Guide and the recruiter told me I was the first person to EVER pick one up before signing up- and I told him it was because of all of you! I'm going to be as prepared as I can. So again, thank you all.


----------



## TcDohl

Just found this thread. When I told my family that I was merely interested in going into the Navy, my older sister went into an irrational mode, and throwing everything she can muster in order to keep me from joining. Among some of those are:


THEY'LL SEND YOU TO THE FRONT LINES!
YOU'LL BE BRAINWASHED!
YOU WON'T COME BACK THE SAME!

Then I told her I wanted to go into the Navy as an engineer. Then she went on another offensive:


YOU MIGHT BE POSTED IN A SUBMARINE! YOU'LL BE STUCK WITH A BUNCH OF SMELLY MEN!
THERE ARE ONLY MEN IN THE MILITARY! YOU'LL NEVER FIND ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND OR MAKE A FAMILY!

Now, the last bit there is the only thing that kinda freaked me out. Being in engineering school, I have been among too many guys, and really haven't had much opportunity to associate too much with the fairer sex (and any other engineer stereotypes may apply). It only freaked me out until I realized that being a civilian engineer isn't really any better for that either. Now it only bugs me a little bit. But nonetheless, I'd like to take this opportunity to ask about this point. How difficult is it to find someone in the context of a long-term pair bonding relationship? 

Nonetheless I'm glad that my parents, especially my mom is supportive of me. I wish that my sister would see it the same way as I do (even though either way I will go into the Forces). But at this point, I'm not taking my sister's opinions seriously as they are ignorant and therefore I am ignoring them.


----------



## Michael OLeary

1.  Your sister doesn't know what she's talking about.
2.  My mother and my sister each married two Canadian sailors, and of the four, three were submariners.
3.  Your sister needs to stop trying to run your life and find one of her own.


----------



## TcDohl

Michael O'Leary said:
			
		

> 1.  Your sister doesn't know what she's talking about.


Agreed. The reason why I don't take her seriously with this issue. It's quite funny that she herself was considering going into the Air Force 10 years ago, but couldn't become a pilot because of her vision. 



			
				Michael O'Leary said:
			
		

> 2.  My mother and my sister each married two Canadian sailors, and of the four, three were submariners.


Yeah, that's good and all, but are any of the engineers? There are certain stereotypes about the kind of guy (yes, that is a deliberate choice of words) that the profession attracts, and I unfortunately fit a good amount of those stereotypes when it comes to social skills. 



			
				Michael O'Leary said:
			
		

> 3.  Your sister needs to stop trying to run your life and find one of her own.



It's funny. She's a successful person. Thankfully she doesn't live in Canada at the moment. Her heart's in the right place, but unfortunately, I think this is one way that she expresses how she doesn't respect me as an adult.


----------



## Roy Harding

If it makes you feel any better - I'm 49, and my sister is 52 - and she STILL thinks that she's "Mom Minor".  She was (and remained) adamantly opposed to my career choice (she is a granola crunchin' refugee from the '60s) - and yet raised her children to look up to and respect Uncle Roy.  Funny how that works.

As far as engineering being a "male centric" profession - my oldest son is a Mech Eng (civilian) - and from what I can tell, you're right.  He still managed to find a lovely lady to share his life with.

I've said it in other threads, and I'll say it again here - if you're doing what you enjoy doing, have respect for your place in the world, and are generally happy - you will attract people (of both sexes) to you who enjoy what you are doing, have respect for your place in the world - and are generally happy to be around you.

Best of luck to you - cut your sister some slack - and don't let her get under your skin (or make your life decisions for you).

Roy


----------



## Michael OLeary

TcDohl said:
			
		

> Yeah, that's good and all, but are any of the engineers? There are certain stereotypes about the kind of guy (yes, that is a deliberate choice of words) that the profession attracts, and I unfortunately fit a good amount of those stereotypes when it comes to social skills.



Lacking social graces?  Have you ever met a submariner?


----------



## gcclarke

TcDohl said:
			
		

> Yeah, that's good and all, but are any of the engineers? There are certain stereotypes about the kind of guy (yes, that is a deliberate choice of words) that the profession attracts, and I unfortunately fit a good amount of those stereotypes when it comes to social skills.



I'm a naval engineering officer, and a lot of my friends are naval engineering officers. While there are a few of my compatriots who have indeed been unlucky in love, I wouldn't say it is any more so than would have happened otherwise. In fact, the ratio of those non-single to single is a heck of a lot higher than I saw in school. And yes, many of those people I am talking about do also fit the typical engineering stereotype, yours truly included. 

I think the fact that we do out training on the east coast vice west is a bonus in this regard, as it definitely seems easier to attract female companionship in Halifax than it is in Victoria. I'd say that, with regards to the opinions of the locals, being in the military is a bonus on the East Coast, and a negative on the West Coast. Of course, this is a gross stereotype, and your mileage may vary. 

As for the idea of not being to find a girl because the military is "made up only of men", well, A) That's false, but B) I advise against forming relationships with those also in the navy anyways. One half sailing puts enough stress on a relationship. With the both of you going to sea, well, that's tough, especially if the idea of kids is on the horizon. There are certainly those who manage to make it work, but if you're actively seeking a girl, I'd suggest trying lavalife before the mess. 

Plus, the last thing you want is to have to be stuck on a deployment with an ex when the breakup wasn't at all amicable. I know at least one pair that's happened to.


----------



## aesop081

gcclarke said:
			
		

> it definitely seems easier to attract female companionship in Halifax than it is in Victoria.



The 2 largest female demographics in Victoria :

Newlywed and nearly dead.........


----------



## Bianca

Just a little update... ended up telling my dad on Sunday night before I headed back to Ottawa. I think he was kind of in shock. But, he did say it sounds like a great job (Comm Rsch Op.) I may have left out information such as that I would love to be deployed, etc, because he was stunned as it is. 

His only real comment was that it seemed 'radical,' but I can understand his point of view as all his nieces are hairdressers, massage therapists, manicurists... so yeah, kind of radical in that sense. 

It just feels a lot better to have gotten it off my chest! 

Once again, thanks for all the advice/support from you all.


----------



## Roy Harding

Bianca said:
			
		

> Just a little update... ended up telling my dad on Sunday night before I headed back to Ottawa. I think he was kind of in shock. But, he did say it sounds like a great job (Comm Rsch Op.) I may have left out information such as that I would love to be deployed, etc, because he was stunned as it is.
> 
> His only real comment was that it seemed 'radical,' but I can understand his point of view as all his nieces are hairdressers, massage therapists, manicurists... so yeah, kind of radical in that sense.
> 
> It just feels a lot better to have gotten it off my chest!
> 
> Once again, thanks for all the advice/support from you all.



Good on ya', Bianca.

It sounds to me like you and your Father love each other.  He's doing his best to accept your decision, and you're doing your best not to shock him too much all at once.

Best of luck to you.


Roy


----------



## a.eddy

I recently let my parents know I was interested in joining the CF. 

They were, of course, a little concerned. It's not that they have anything against the Forces, but it _is_ a dangerous job.

They began to ask me why I wanted to join, and I found that I had trouble explaining. I answered that I want to serve my country, I want a rewarding job, I want job security. These answers sounded vague and impersonal though, considering I was talking to my folks.

My question is, how did your parents respond when you expressed a desire to join?


----------



## Kat Stevens

My Dad- "Any possibility you could leave for basic sooner?"


----------



## a.eddy

Haha

I guess my parents are quite protective


----------



## BlueJingo

I had to tell my parents separately. My mother was quite supportive, she took me to some of the appointments for the recruiting process...

I told my dad after I joined, it was more difficult to tell him and his side of the family seeing as they escaped from a military dictatorship. Trying to explain how our military was different and everything was difficult. My grandfather still gets a little hesitant when he sees me in my uniform, so I have to be careful.

So there is 2 sides....


----------



## readytogo

Surely there are people out there who have joined a little bit later in life and maybe already have a good job that pays well??? The more i think about it the more i want to join full time but would have to take a fairly signifigant pay cut and obviously be away from my wife and children for some signifigant amount of time

     My question is...has anyone else experienced this and how did they go about getting thier family onboard ?  i believe with my whole heart that this is something i was meant to do but am torn because of my family???

Thoughts and or comments???


----------



## gcclarke

Do your research about all the pros and cons of the idea and then talk to them about it?


----------



## Fishbone Jones

readytogo said:
			
		

> Thoughts and or comments???



Yes. Do a search, starting in the Recruiting Forum. Your questions have been covered rather extensively already. Then read the Site Guidelines before posting again.

Milnet.ca Staff


----------



## Jed

readytogo

I have been there and done that. What are you really wanting to know?

Is signing on the dotted line really something you personally want to do regardless of the upheaval to the family and to a significant loss of income? Than do it.

I can tell you that it will stress your family and yourself out over time every bit as intensely as doing a tour.

For me personally, I do not regret my decision one bit, despite the significant upheaval and family stress that resulted from my action. 

This decision can only be made by you. Try very hard to know why you are making it and what you are prepared to give up to accomplish your aim.


Jed


----------



## pbodder

Well, I am still in the process of joining, however I have found myself in more or less the same situation. 
I have worked across the country previously, for periods up to 3 months - having no scheduled time to come home. Wife's thoughts: Not. Cool. 
So, after speaking about it with my wife and kids, I decided that the route I would take is through the Reserves. For me and my situation, this was the best option. I can see if I would enjoy doing the work full time, get a good understanding of what is expected from Regular members, and jump across if we so decide. 
If I were 20 again, there would be no question, but I recognise the fact that my actions can deeply affect others, so my only point to you is that your family is fully aware of the choices. If possible, have your family take down questions, and see if your recruiter can answer them for you. Maybe you can ask your recruiter to talk with your family to assist them with questions? Just an idea.


----------



## readytogo

great thoughts ...thank you all very much


----------



## Nuggs

readytogo said:
			
		

> Surely there are people out there who have joined a little bit later in life and maybe already have a good job that pays well??? The more i think about it the more i want to join full time but would have to take a fairly signifigant pay cut and obviously be away from my wife and children for some signifigant amount of time
> 
> My question is...has anyone else experienced this and how did they go about getting thier family onboard ?  i believe with my whole heart that this is something i was meant to do but am torn because of my family???
> 
> Thoughts and or comments???



I joined at 30, took a 20k pay cut to join, and so far have spent 15 months (give or take a little LTA) away from the family for training.

I won't lie to you, yeah its tough, but its definetly worth it. If your relationship can make it through it, it can likely make it through anything.

If you do go through with it make sure they have all of the information and options you can provide them before you leave (Will, Power of Attorney, Contact info and account numbers of debtors, etc etc etc), as you will have limited abilities to help them square things off from thousands of kilometers away.

As gcclarke suggested talk to your spouse and kids about it. Its really a decision that needs to be made as a family. Truthfully, I wouldn't try and talk them into it if they are deadset against it, it might end up in disaster relationship wise.


----------



## Alea

Hi readytogo,



			
				readytogo said:
			
		

> Surely there are people out there who have joined a little bit later in life and maybe already have a good job that pays well???



There are indeed. If you search a little on this forum you'll soon find out who they are and you might send them a personal message and ask them to share with you the do's and don'ts from their own experiences.



> The more i think about it the more i want to join full time but would have to take a fairly significant pay cut



I'm in the process of joining myself. I will have a significant cut in my incomes for the first 4 years. It's a choice I made. It is very personal to everyone so really, I don't think people on here can give much advices on what to do with this. It is a sacrifice that only and your family can decide to make or not.



> and obviously be away from my wife and children for some signifigant amount of time



Sure you will. Like every other soldier. It also depends a lot on the trade you choose. But in all, yes, you will be away from your family quit a bit. This is something that you really should talk about with your wife. 
I also want to tell you that a lot of people are married in the CF and have children. It is just another way of life. Not saying it is easy, just saying it does exist and does work. Some of the people on this forum have been married for 10, 15, 20 years and have a wife/husband and kids. 



> My question is...has anyone else experienced this and how did they go about getting thier family onboard ?  i believe with my whole heart that this is something i was meant to do but am torn because of my family???



Again, really search the forum to find the ones who went through the same and will share their experience with you 


Take care,
Alea


----------



## CanadianProud

Last year i filled out my applicatin and handed it into the unit near my house. I was shortly after devasted with a death in the family and my chance to join the army slowly slipped away. Now a Year later im back into the mindset of joining. I've been hunting with my old man since i was tiny, and am a damn good shot. Guns to me and like breathing and shooting is like walking. Since i could read ive been nose deep into anything war related and have always in the back of mind wanting to be a canadian soldier  ;D.

Now my parents both know that im into guns and the marksmen lifestyle; Ive been awarded with championship titles for my long range shot abilities and at the age of 21 i can make shots that people double my age can make. Another reason why i wanna join, to be the next sniper record holder  :.


heres my dilemma. Parents don't agree with my decision. Their response is as simple as "Your going to die if you go  ??? ". This really upsets me, because the way they act its like im different from every one of you who have joined up for your reason, like they think im too good to go and defend my country and whats right. Im afraid if i just make the decision to leave il be left in the mud without my family and that they wont support my decisions to join. The way i look at it, they dont support my choice they dont care about me enough. Has anybody expeirenced the same thing i am, with the family telling you that joining is a bad choice.  ???


i appreciate the input i just dont know what to tell them to make them see why i wanna join and from my perspective with out them thinking their just going to lose there only son.

thanks mates.


----------



## fischer10

CanadianProud said:
			
		

> Last year i filled out my applicatin and handed it into the unit near my house. I was shortly after devasted with a death in the family and my chance to join the army slowly slipped away. Now a Year later im back into the mindset of joining. I've been hunting with my old man since i was tiny, and am a damn good shot. Guns to me and like breathing and shooting is like walking. Since i could read ive been nose deep into anything war related and have always in the back of mind wanting to be a canadian soldier  ;D.
> 
> Now my parents both know that im into guns and the marksmen lifestyle; Ive been awarded with championship titles for my long range shot abilities and at the age of 21 i can make shots that people double my age can make. Another reason why i wanna join, to be the next sniper record holder  :.
> 
> 
> heres my dilemma. Parents don't agree with my decision. Their response is as simple as "Your going to die if you go  ??? ". This really upsets me, because the way they act its like im different from every one of you who have joined up for your reason, like they think im too good to go and defend my country and whats right. Im afraid if i just make the decision to leave il be left in the mud without my family and that they wont support my decisions to join. The way i look at it, they dont support my choice they dont care about me enough. Has anybody expeirenced the same thing i am, with the family telling you that joining is a bad choice.  ???
> 
> 
> i appreciate the input i just dont know what to tell them to make them see why i wanna join and from my perspective with out them thinking their just going to lose there only son.
> 
> thanks mates.



Do what you want, not what others want. I got the whole run down of "He's suicidal/wants to die/going to die/throwing his life away" and so on. There are endless possibilities through the military and from what I have seen here, it is a great life style/job. Go read some peoples stories on joining at 30-40 and how it has ate at them for not joining sooner! If you really want to join, then do it. Parents will support you no matter what (Well, should anyway haha).

Infantry is closed right now and will be until March 2011 (last post I read said this), so you have some waiting to do and can use that time to show your parents what the CF is 

Good luck...and read the thread that your post was moved to too lol.

EDIT: Spelling


----------



## gparask

Hello guys, I have a couple of questions to ask you guys

First off, how would I go about telling my dad I am interested in joining the Army? No one in my family has ever served our country so I would be the very first. Also I am only 16 years old if that helps a bit.

My last name is 15 letters long, yes a pretty long last name, I'm wondering what will happen if I actually join the Army with that kind of last name. The reason I am worrying is because I have never seen any videos/pictures etc with members of the Canadian army with a long last name.

Thanks everyone!


----------



## PMedMoe

gparask said:
			
		

> Hello guys, I have a couple of questions to ask you guys
> 
> First off, how would I go about telling my dad I am interested in joining the Army? No one in my family has ever served our country so I would be the very first. Also I am only 16 years old if that helps a bit.


  

How about, "Hey Dad, I'm going to apply for a great job, with full benefits and the possibility of seeing exciting places all over the world!"     

Seriously, sit down with him and tell him _why_ you want to join.  How old are you?  I'm guessing fairly young.



			
				gparask said:
			
		

> My last name is 15 letters long, yes a pretty long last name, I'm wondering what will happen if I actually join the Army with that kind of last name. The reason I am worrying is because I have never seen any videos/pictures etc with members of the Canadian army with a long last name.



There have been people with long names, hyphenated names, weird names, etc.  Be prepared for mispronunciations (mine is only 5 letters long and still gets pronounced wrong) and to be called "Alphabet".


----------



## mariomike

gparask said:
			
		

> First off, how would I go about telling my dad I am interested in joining the Army?



Topic: "How to tell (unsupportive) family that I am joining military":
http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/30513.125
6 pages.

Topic: "Convincing my parents":
http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/13678.0
4 pages.

Topic: "Convincing the Parents - part 2":
http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/32082.0/nowap.html
2 pages.

Topic: "Informing Family and Friends":  
http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/55398.0/nowap.html
2 pages.

Topic: "How should I persuade my parents to let me join":
http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/14476.0

Topic: "Negative Parents":
http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/66232.0/nowap.html

Topic: "I think my head is going to explode":
"My father "doesn't want his baby girl to be a grunt" but has said that he will be damn proud and will probably cry when I get sworn in.":
http://army.ca/forums/threads/19887.0.html
3 pages.


----------



## gparask

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> How about, "Hey Dad, I'm going to apply for a great job, with full benefits and the possibility of seeing exciting places all over the world!"
> 
> Seriously, sit down with him and tell him _why_ you want to join.  How old are you?  I'm guessing fairly young.
> 
> There have been people with long names, hyphenated names, weird names, etc.  Be prepared for mispronunciations (mine is only 5 letters long and still gets pronounced wrong) and to be called "Alphabet".



Oh jeez, everyone already calls me "Alphabet" in school haha, but I am 16 years old so I still have a couple years to talk to him, but I'd like to get it out of the way, I already told him I wanted to become a police officer but haven't told him I'd like to go into the army before I try to become one. Thanks for the reply it really helped me with the questions!


----------



## aesop081

gparask said:
			
		

> I'm wondering what will happen if I actually join the Army with that kind of last name.



What will happen ?

People are going to call you by it. The CF will put it on a name tag. The CF will ask you to write it down on many forms.

You're not the first. case closed, you can sleep at night once again.

Of all the things to worry about....... :


----------



## Teeps74

gparask said:
			
		

> Hello guys, I have a couple of questions to ask you guys
> 
> First off, how would I go about telling my dad I am interested in joining the Army? No one in my family has ever served our country so I would be the very first. Also I am only 16 years old if that helps a bit.
> 
> My last name is 15 letters long, yes a pretty long last name, I'm wondering what will happen if I actually join the Army with that kind of last name. The reason I am worrying is because I have never seen any videos/pictures etc with members of the Canadian army with a long last name.
> 
> Thanks everyone!



A frank talk with the parentals would be a good start. Be honest and open with them.

As to your name, fear not. The worst case scenario is someone refers to you as "alphabet". We have lots of folks with wonderful names ranging from two letters to even more then yours. We, after all, pride ourselves in being a cross-section of Canadian society. Just be thankful your last name is not Bloggins... That guy is always getting in trouble.


----------



## Eye In The Sky

People with names over 12 letters long are forced to change their name using the Can-Tri-Nucus authentication process, and then end the new last name with a silent Q.  

Seriously I read it on the CanMilGenPersComOrder site.


----------



## Teeps74

Eye In The Sky said:
			
		

> People with names over 12 letters long are forced to change their name using the Can-Tri-Nucus authentication process, and then end the new last name with a silent Q.
> 
> Seriously I read it on the CanMilGenPersComOrder site.



ROFL!


----------



## serzhe

My family name is weird as hell for this country but I don't care. It didn't make me hesitate one second when applying. It's not about your family name, it's about you  8) 8)


----------



## SentryMAn

Have you thought about Cadets/reserves to start with?  It's all time served and will look great on your application.


----------



## lzrlightshow

Hello, 
I am planing on joining the CF in the ROTP, for engineer officer. But every time i bring it up to my parents (i need their consent because i'm not 18 yet)
they tell me that they will never approve of it, because they think that the army is full of violent angry people, and that if i were to join i would get beaten
(at one point they even said i would be gang raped by 4 other gay men). 
What i am hoping out of this post is for members of the CF to answer me truly if the army is made of pissed off rednecks (my parents exact words) that would beat me up.


----------



## mariomike

lzrlightshow said:
			
		

> But every time i bring it up to my parents (i need their consent because i'm not 18 yet) they tell me that they will never approve of it, because they think that the army is full of violent angry people, and that if i were to join i would get beaten (at one point they even said i would be gang raped by 4 other gay men).



Some discussion of "How to get family on board" here:
http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/13678.0
"Are there any suggestions on what I can say to my parents to persuade them to let me join the reserves?"


----------



## Eaglelord17

No offence to your parents but it amazes me how uninformed some people can be about the military. Show them the CF website it has a for parents section, the link to which is right here.
 http://www.forces.ca/en/parents/home-133 
Good luck convincing them


----------



## dcs

I hope that you proceed and are successful particularly with the unfounded and, sorry but I have to say, ignorant comments of your parents.  Having four children, the oldest of which went/go to civilian universities for undergrad and graduate studies (Mt Allison, York,  McMaster and University of Windsor) and the youngest two currently at RMC, I can honestly say that there are much fewer concerns at RMC.  I have absolutely no worries or concerns with the two (one in first and one in fourth year) at RMC.   I don't know what media you parents have formed this from or individuals  and comments that they talk to and are basing it on.

While I am sure not all perfect, I am consistently impressed by the Officer Cadets and their maturity and abilities.  Cannot certainly say similar for when I visited the civi universities.

Take a good look at the links indicated earlier and the comments.   To say that your parents are very uninformed is an understatement.   It is not though regretfully uncommon. I have had numerous comments made to me about how I could let my children join the military.    Take them down to RMC and let them see and visit, and talk to some cadets. I am confident there concerns will be considerably reduced if not eliminated.

Please don't let their misinformed and beliefs sway you in any way from the opportunity.


----------



## Maxadia

All good suggestions above, but then again, you might just have one of those obstinate set of parents that against all arguments will still not give their permission.  You might have to wait until you are 18.

In NO WAY does that mean that if you really want to do this, that you should let their opinion influence your desire to join. In many ways, it should only strengthen your resolve to prove them wrong, and prove to them that you really can do this.


----------



## George Wallace

lzrlightshow said:
			
		

> ............
> they tell me that they will never approve of it, because they think that the army is full of violent angry people, and that if i were to join i would get beaten
> (at one point they even said i would be gang raped by 4 other gay men).



WOW!  Where were your parents brought up?  That is one of the most bizarre statements I have ever heard.  Not only bizarre, but totally ignorant of any reasonable concepts of what the CF are.


----------



## GAP

I wonder if they are associating RMC with the hollywood version West Point and some of the crap that has been published about there and other private schools..... :


----------



## Jarnhamar

At least his parents realize that we allow gay men in the CF and it's not just straight men running around raping other men.

Seriously kid if you're not a troll then your parents are pretty clueless. Instead of you talking to them you should send them here so we can educate them.


----------



## brihard

lzrlightshow said:
			
		

> Hello,
> I am planing on joining the CF in the ROTP, for engineer officer. But every time i bring it up to my parents (i need their consent because i'm not 18 yet)
> they tell me that they will never approve of it, because they think that the army is full of violent angry people, and that if i were to join i would get beaten
> (at one point they even said i would be gang raped by 4 other gay men).
> What i am hoping out of this post is for members of the CF to answer me truly if the army is made of pissed off rednecks (my parents exact words) that would beat me up.



Your parents are completely out to lunch.

RMC is a university. Actually a bloody good one, and a damned hard one on the student. It takes a dedicated person to get in, and you'll be surrounded by, for the most part, pretty excellent people. Principled, dedicated people who have no less ethical awareness than anyone else in the country, who DO NOT put up with abuse or assault, and who understand that only by treating people as mature, professional, adult volunteers can a volunteer army be crafted into an organization worthy of our country.

Your folks are more than welcome to stop by here and to ask any questions of us they might wish. Frankly they need it, because their ignorance on this is beyond simply being unaware and betrays an apparently _poisonous_ attitude towards an institution which is, regrettably, a necessary part of any free society.

Why is it, really, that they think those of us in uniform are any less principled than you are? Or than they are?


----------



## Maxadia

George Wallace said:
			
		

> WOW!  Where were your parents brought up?  That is one of the most bizarre statements I have ever heard.  Not only bizarre, but totally ignorant of any reasonable concepts of what the CF are.



Unfortunately George, and I mean this with the greatest respect, you're probably "out to lunch" on this one.  Their opinion is, unfortunately, not really all that bizarre.  There's a fairly sizable segment of the population out there that has been sheltered, and their only exposure to the CF that they can recall, concerns some not so respectable incidents from the early 90's.

Sad, really, but some people still think that we're dealing with the same issues from 20 years ago, and have let their imagination run with it.   :dunno:

My suggestion would be to visit the local recruiting center and let them know what you're dealing with, and then see if they have a senior recruiter who would be willing to meet with your parents about their concerns.


----------



## George Wallace

RDJP said:
			
		

> Unfortunately George, and I mean this with the greatest respect, you're probably "out to lunch" on this one.  Their opinion is, unfortunately, not really all that bizarre.  There's a fairly sizable segment of the population out there that has been sheltered, and their only exposure to the CF that they can recall, concerns some not so respectable incidents from the early 90's.




Really?...This is the first time I have heard the comment that one would be gang raped by four gay men.


----------



## Maxadia

George Wallace said:
			
		

> Really?...This is the first time I have heard the comment that one would be gang raped by four gay men.



That specific comment might be unusual, but for the most part, there are lots of people out there who think that the military is full of abusive members.  It's unfortunate that they are so ignorant and close minded, but they do exist.


----------



## Journeyman

Like it would take _four_....   :




What? Inappropriate?  Oh, sorry; disregard.   ;D


----------



## Maxadia

;D ;D ;D

That made my day.


----------



## curious george

I am not at all surprised by his parents' comments.  I've heard plenty of my own including a few who did bring up the issue of sexual harrassment, presumably, in light of the recent RCMP allegations.  i'm no authority to say whether the two are the same organization, or whether possible occurrences in one will automatically mean it will happen in the other.  Someone with more knowledge can fill me in.  But certainly I can attest to the fact that rape/sexual harrasment is a common (mis)perception - whether gay, lesbian, or plain old straight.


----------



## Jarnhamar

curious george said:
			
		

> I am not at all surprised by his parents' comments.  I've heard plenty of my own including a few who did bring up the issue of sexual harrassment, presumably, in light of the recent RCMP allegations.  i'm no authority to say whether the two are the same organization, or whether possible occurrences in one will automatically mean it will happen in the other.  Someone with more knowledge can fill me in.  But certainly I can attest to the fact that rape/sexual harrasment is a common (mis)perception - whether gay, lesbian, or plain old straight.



I'm offended by your insinuation that straight people are old and plain.

I think most of the time this type of question/comment gets brought up here it is because the OP is expecting/counting on a specific response from the members.


----------



## George Wallace

curious george said:
			
		

> I am not at all surprised by his parents' comments.  I've heard plenty of my own including a few who did bring up the issue of sexual harrassment, presumably, in light of the recent RCMP allegations.  i'm no authority to say whether the two are the same organization, or whether possible occurrences in one will automatically mean it will happen in the other.  Someone with more knowledge can fill me in.  But certainly I can attest to the fact that rape/sexual harrasment is a common (mis)perception - whether gay, lesbian, or plain old straight.



I have heard a lot of this crap before; but it is not confined solely to the CF.  I have heard it about University Residences, Sororities, Colleges, Sports teams, Police Forces, Fire Departments, Social Services, Foster Parents, ......the List is endless.  

Let's stop with this BULL right now.  If your parents or friends are saying CRAP like this, it may be time to ask them to educate themselves.  If they are so closed minded to not do so, then their opinions are then worthless.


----------



## dcs

Agree with George W.......... if you can get to RMC  (with them if possible).  If not talk to some of the current cadets and arrange for a tour.    As I stated earlier... have no concerns in regards to two children being there, and their treatment, training and personal growth/achievement in doing so.


----------



## curious george

George Wallace said:
			
		

> I have heard a lot of this crap before; but it is not confined solely to the CF.  I have heard it about University Residences, Sororities, Colleges, Sports teams, Police Forces, Fire Departments, Social Services, Foster Parents, ......the List is endless.
> 
> Let's stop with this BULL right now.  If your parents or friends are saying CRAP like this, it may be time to ask them to educate themselves.  If they are so closed minded to not do so, then their opinions are then worthless.



Well, that's exactly it.  In one ear, out the other. However, I'm saying there are Canadians out there educating themselves with news reports (and maybe personal biases), and getting skewed or incomplete ideas about the CF. Hence, all the bull. It may be time for MANY Canadians to educate themselves, but I don't think they have the capacity if news reports are all they have to go by.  It's one thing to deal with personal comments (in one ear, out the other), but there is a systemic problem here.  The systemic problem becomes personal when prospective applicants try to get parents on board.  However, Im taking this thread in a different direction altogether, and there are other threads that address this.

I speak often of this not because I expect a certain response, but because I'm obviously very passionate about this.  I feel this would be one of my causes, but until I have lived the life, I have no credibility to educate family and friends, let alone the public.  I do think it is something worth putting time and energy into, though, for many reasons.  Getting the public behind you is not a bad thing at all.  And passion can be a great motivator to get things done in life.


ObedientiaZ - Thanks for pointing that out.  No offense was intended. Apologies.


----------



## Jarnhamar

curious george said:
			
		

> ObedientiaZ - Thanks for pointing that out.  No offense was intended. Apologies.



Don't worry, I'm only offended because I'm getting old and I'm rather plain


----------



## curious george

ObedientiaZelum said:
			
		

> Don't worry, I'm only offended because I'm getting old and I'm rather plain



lol. (Laughing with you, not at you).


----------



## lzrlightshow

alright, thanks allot guys.
this was extremely helpful and I am going to bring them parents of mine to the recruiting center. 
I wish i could go visit RMC but i cant since i'm all the way in Alberta, but i'l keep doing research and hopefully i can 
change their bias and truly unpatriotic views.


----------



## dimsum

lzrlightshow said:
			
		

> alright, thanks allot guys.
> this was extremely helpful and I am going to bring them parents of mine to the recruiting center.
> I wish i could go visit RMC but i cant since i'm all the way in Alberta, but i'l keep doing research and hopefully i can
> change their bias and truly unpatriotic views.



If you're in AB and anywhere near Edmonton or Calgary, there are all sorts of military units you can go to and talk to people about it.  The Recruiting Centres are great, but it'd be even better if you could talk to actual Engineering Officers from 1 CER in Edmonton or the reserve units in Calgary.


----------



## dcs

As mentioned go to a recruiting centre and talk to them. You might want to have your parents go the second time after you have had a discussion with them.  As I mentioned in my earlier post I have two sons at RMC and could not be more pleased or proud.   Went to see them yesterday (Drove from Toronto to Kingston return) just to see them and take them out for lunch.   One is in first year engineering and speaks highly of the experience to say the least.

If you can as well talk to someone at the Edmonton location and if possible go and talk to some individuals there. I have listed below the areas and many are of areas that you are looking into ..... mechanized, engineer etc. Hopefully then you and your parents will be able truly see the functioning and type of individuals in the Canadian Forces. 

My boys are right now into mid-terms, but I am sure afterwards would be pleased to exchange a few e-mails or questions with you.   If you want to send me a message I can forward to them.    Good luck and really hoping that you can change them. Surprised that there are individuals out there who really believe this kind of thing... must be from US movies or something???

CFB/Garrison Edmonton
There were 4,501 regular military, 603 reserve Class A, B and C forces, and 509 civilian workers at CFB/Garrison Edmonton at the end of December 2005.

Present Functions

The primary function of CFB/Garrison Edmonton is to

field a general purpose combat-effective mechanized brigade group, or any portion thereof, ready for deployment to a min-intensity battlefield in accordance with assigned tasks.
Operational & Support Units

Land Force Western Area HQ,
ASU Edmonton,
ASU Calgary,
ASU Chilliwack,
1 Service Battalion,
742 Signal Squadron,
CF Service Prison and Detention Barracks,
15 MP Company,
1 Garrison MP Company,
1 Canadian Mechanized Brigade Group HQ,
HQ and Signal Squadron,
1st Battalion Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry,
3rd Battalion Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry,
Lord Strathcona's Horse (Royal Canadians),
1 Combat Engineer Regiment,
1 Field Ambulance,
39 CBG HQ,
5 Royal Canadian Artillery,
15 Field Artillery RCA,
6 Field Engineer Squadron,
44 Field Engineer Squadron,
12 Service Battalion,
12 Field Ambulance,
41 CBG HQ,
20 Field Regiment,
15 Service Battalion,
14 Service Battalion,
8 Field Engineer Regiment,
15 Medical Company,
CFAD Dundurn Detachment Edmonton,
1 Dental Unit Detachment Edmonton,
7 Canadian Forces Supply Depot,
408 Tactical Helicopter Squadron,
74 Communication Group Headquarters,
Health Services Group,
7 Aerospace Control Squadron,
745 Communication Squadron.


----------



## mustanglx88

Hello to you All,
                            First of all my name is Eric, 31 years old, married and have two wonderful childrens one of 2 and the other 5. I've been working as a parts manager for a dealership here in Quebec for 12 years now and I'm unhappy doing this job. I'm fed up of all the back stabbing among colleagues and all the complaning of the clients. I've been debating for sometime now to leave my job and to join the Canadian Military as a Vehicle Mecanic. But I have a few questions concerning this, because it's a big decision, it involves us moving  2 hours away from our families to Valcartier. My wife needs to find a new job also.So here we go, first question.
1. How do you deal, leaving your family behind?
2. How do you tell your parents and parents-in-laws that you are leaving your job to join the military?
3. What do you tell your young children when you leave for trainning in Saint-Jean-sur-Richelieu for 13 weeks?
4. How's the life in the military?
I just want what's best for me and especially for my family.

Thank you for answering sincerely to my topic.


----------



## 392

mustanglx88 said:
			
		

> ...But I have a few questions concerning this, because it's a big decision, it involves us moving  2 hours away from our families to Valcartier.



Not to sound too nitpicky, but assuming you'll end up in Valcartier is a pretty big assumption - especially considering you could end up way farther than 2 hours away, like say in Victoria, BC or Halifax, NS.  There are no guarantees that even with enrolling in PQ, you'll end up there in a first posting.



> My wife needs to find a new job also.



This is a recurring requirement every time you will be posted - and is something I would encourage you to take the time to discuss with her and ensure she is on board with. 

One final thing, you mentioned being away for 13 weeks in St Jean - are you aware that you will then head off to CFSEME in Borden, Ont for your basic trades training? I don't know off-hand how long a Veh Tech QL3 is, but I am betting it is measured in months. If you are not course loaded right away, you could expect to be in Borden for a very long time waiting to begin your training without being authorized to move your family. Not trying to throw a wrench in your plans, just adding some info that from your original post, you may not have been aware of.  :2c:

Good luck whichever way you go.


----------



## TPJR

My son is in Borden right now for Vehicle Tech and he will probably be there over a year once all his training is complete.


----------



## MattBar

They would probably be much more open to you joining the reserves if they knew more about the CF in general, and what it means to be a reservist. Make sure they know that it is highly unlikely that you will be forced to go to war, and that deployments are optional. Good luck.


----------



## maestro67

Hi there,

I did not want to make a new thread and the search brought me to this thread..

So what are the chances of finding a girlfriend/wife within the forces? I've read the official doc on fraternization, it appears it's okay so long you're both completely removed from each other + in the Chain of command in a professional context. That's the catch though isn't it? Basically you can date someone within the forces so long as you two have nothing to do with each other (So how do you meet them in the first place?)

Onto socializing/social aspects of "Life in the CF"-
Could someone elaborate on the social settings of the forces? I mean I know the team sports is a huge part and it seems you'll interact with a wide range of people while deployed/at different bases. Is it allowed for commanding officers to say, go out for drinks with some guys (lower ranks) etc? If you are at a base in Canada, is it normal to become friends with your "co-workers", or is this frowned upon/dependent on your ranks/etc (I realize you don't normally become friends with your boss at work, likewise in the CF. But what about "equals", aka actual co-workers)?

Thanks.


----------



## Kat Stevens

I made friends on my TQ 3, errr, QL 3 or whatever it is now, 33 years ago and haven't seen them since.  If they picked up the phone and needed me, I'd be there.  Yes, equals can be friends, more than friends, brothers, or bitter enemies, just like in the real world.


----------



## Marchog

Oh man it's going to be tough to get my family on board in the very unlikely event that I actually get into the CF. I'm especially looking at signals (NCM signal operator)- unfortunately my family has a long and prestigious history of being KIA while working signals.


----------



## MikeL

Marchog said:
			
		

> Oh man it's going to be tough to get my family on board in the very unlikely event that I actually get into the CF.



Unlikely because your family does not support it? Or something else?



			
				Marchog said:
			
		

> I'm especially looking at signals (NCM signal operator)


Or unlikely because the Sig Op trade is not around anymore?  All Army Signals NCM trades(Sig Op, LCIS, Line) merged into one trade - Army Communications Information System Specialist(ACISS)



			
				Marchog said:
			
		

> unfortunately my family has a long and prestigious history of being KIA while working signals.


Prestigious because members of your family have been killed while serving in Signals?  As well,  just because X amount of members of your family have been killed does not mean it is destined for all family members who serve to be killed.


----------



## Marchog

> Prestigious because members of your family have been killed while serving in Signals?  As well,  just X members of your family have been killed does not mean it is destined for all family members who serve to be killed.


I didn't say it made any sense. That's pretty much the point. 

I consider my chances low, primarily due to a past history of migraines. I'm old enough to do what I want regardless of parents/family, so that shouldn't be an issue, it's just that it won't be a popular move. They're not exactly total granola-crunchers, but they lean that way. 



> Or unlikely because the Sig Op trade is not around anymore?  All Army Signals NCM trades(Sig Op, LCIS, Line) merged into one trade - Army Communications Information System Specialist(ACISS)


Ah OK, I must have been looking at obsolete info...or something. Anyway in plain English what I'm talking about is attempting to get into the reserves with the 32 Signal Regiment, though I'm also considering Armoured Reconaissance.


----------



## l.viita

I'm just curious to know how other people's parents reacted when they announced them they'd join the army (I'm mostly curious as to other girls/women's parents reaction). It stresses me a bit, though no matter what their reaction will be, it is my call. But it's always nice to know your family supports your career choice!


----------



## X2012

My mum was fine with me joining the military, she figured it out before I told her.

She disagreed with my trade choice initially and we just sat down and had a debate about it. She brought her points and I brought mine after we'd both done a little research. I convinced her it fit my skill set, interested me, and I was well qualified. A well-reasoned case and consideration for the other person's perspective can go a long way in helping your family deal with any concerns that they may have. If that doesn't work, getting some outside resources particular to their concerns may help (some real-world information from someone doing what you're hoping to do, for example). Some people need a little more time than others, especially if it seems to be coming out of left field.

They probably want what's best for you, they just may not have accurate or complete information. And they may have some valid points for you to consider as well.


----------



## l.viita

X2012 said:
			
		

> My mum was fine with me joining the military, she figured it out before I told her.
> 
> She disagreed with my trade choice initially and we just sat down and had a debate about it. She brought her points and I brought mine after we'd both done a little research. I convinced her it fit my skill set, interested me, and I was well qualified. A well-reasoned case and consideration for the other person's perspective can go a long way in helping your family deal with any concerns that they may have. If that doesn't work, getting some outside resources particular to their concerns may help (some real-world information from someone doing what you're hoping to do, for example). Some people need a little more time than others, especially if it seems to be coming out of left field.
> 
> They probably want what's best for you, they just may not have accurate or complete information. And they may have some valid points for you to consider as well.



Thank you very much for your input! I will prepare myself for the talk. I really think the Sig Op officer trade is for me, as I've studied Communications in University and love project management. I think my mom also suspects something, but being 23, it is my choice and not my parents'. 

I really appreciate your tips!


----------



## PuckChaser

l.viita said:
			
		

> I really think the Sig Op officer trade is for me, as I've studied Communications in University and love project management.



Signals Officer, not Sig Op officer.


----------



## BeyondTheNow

l.viita said:
			
		

> I'm just curious to know how other people's parents reacted when they announced them they'd join the army (I'm mostly curious as to other girls/women's parents reaction). It stresses me a bit, though no matter what their reaction will be, it is my call. But it's always nice to know your family supports your career choice!



I was fortunate in that there were no negative reactions from family (that I'm aware of) when I announced my career goal and the venue I would be pursuing it in.  I had given substantial consideration to performing the same job outside of the military, but for various reasons decided the CF was the best place for me.

My brother had been a Reservist for 10+ years before releasing to move overseas, so he had a lot of information to share.  My mother also knows that he enjoyed his time in, so I don't think there were any issues about me wanting to join the military either.  Where employment has been concerned, I guess I've been lucky in that for the most part, as long as I've been happy and supporting myself/my responsibilities well, nothing has been said.


----------



## l.viita

PuckChaser said:
			
		

> Signals Officer, not Sig Op officer.



Yeah, sorry, I'm used to the name in of the trade in French (my mother tongue is actually French) which is Officier des transmissions. I don't have much trouble with English but I admit sometimes the name of the trades can be confusing. But, you know what I meant; Signals Officer.


----------



## BYFROMSCHOOL

I'm currently in the early stages of my application, and have been keeping it from everyone except my girlfriend and references. Decided to hold off until I'm offered a position. The most stressful part for me is that I'm also unemployed so I have little to say when visiting with friends or family. The reason I'm keeping it from people is the uncertainty of a job offer: I want to cut down on the stress of people asking me "So how's your CF application coming along?" Especially if I don't get in.

If you're nervous about "getting family on board", don't be. It's your life and your decision to join the CF. If your family loves you, they will support you. I know my father once told me how he always wanted to be a police officer, but gave up his dream to start a family. He said he wanted me to follow my dream no matter what. The day I make it in, I plan on telling him first. I know he'll be proud.

My mother on the other hand:  :crybaby:


----------



## l.viita

I know what you mean BYFROMSCHOOL. It's one less stress not to have people asking you all the time what's up with the application.

Only 2 close friends are aware of my application being processed. Though some new changes happened today: I won't join the regular force yet, but the reserve instead, and in another trade (since the lady who received me last Friday didn't do her job properly and talked to me about this trade I wasn't even qualified for -_- ). The Captain who met me this morning was surprised someone made such an error. :/

I did tell my mom I was "studying the option" of joining the reserve and she went ballistic because she heard so many stories about rapes in the reserve lately. I mean seriously? I have as much chances as everywhere else to get raped.  :facepalm: I though, that to some extente, she'd find the idea rather nice, since her father was an officer in the reserve when he was a student. Plus that would mean I could continue my management certificate and also have a good job on the side (though I already have one), with insurance and that pays half of my tuition fees. :/

Oh well, I'll do it with or without her support, even if it would be nicer to have her support. Or else friends will replace my family once I'll do my swearing in.


----------



## PuckChaser

l.viita said:
			
		

> I did tell my mom I was "studying the option" of joining the reserve and she went ballistic because she heard so many stories about rapes in the reserve lately.



Not sure what news your mom is reading, but its right out to lunch. There's been nothing of that sort in Canadian media.


----------



## MikeL

PuckChaser said:
			
		

> Not sure what news your mom is reading, but its right out to lunch. There's been nothing of that sort in Canadian media.



Maybe she is friend's with lubi125's parents or found these threads.
http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/109012.0
http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/109707/post-1216499.html#msg1216499


----------



## l.viita

Haha don't get me wrong Skeletor I'm not worried about getting raped! I just have no clue why they say that. They mentionned something about a documentary that aired this week-end on Radio-Canada, but then again, why would Radio-Canada bitch about the CF if it's mandate is to promote the canadian culture and all?  ???

I think it's mostly those rumors people hear or those kind of stories people make in their heads about the CF. Sure, it's not an easy job, sure, it might be more dangerous than flipping burgers at McDonald, but it's a job, a good job and with a valuable cause (more than serving mcDiabetes). 

Sorry for the sarcasm, but really, I have many friends in the army, and they never had any trouble of any sort as far as I know. I just hope the Caporal will be able to give me some stuff to reassure my parents. I'm sure he will be able to help.


----------



## mariomike

l.viita said:
			
		

> I just hope the Caporal will be able to give me some stuff to reassure my parents. I'm sure he will be able to help.



This may also help.

"There are many different reasons why your loved one may want to join the Canadian Forces."
http://www.forces.ca/en/parents/home-133


----------



## l.viita

mariomike said:
			
		

> This may also help.
> 
> "There are many different reasons why your loved one may want to join the Canadian Forces."
> http://www.forces.ca/en/parents/home-133



Thanks!

So my mother called the Caporal there. I had given him a call first asking if it was okay for me to give his number so my mother could be a bit reassured. He was really nice about it, and well, like I expected, said it's a common thing that happen and it's part of his job. Rest assured, it did help! Though she still doesn't understand why I want to do it (well, she understands part of the reasons), at least she knows I'm not selling my soul to the devil  ;D

Anyway, I explained to her again why I wanted to do it and how it would give me another experience and new perspective on work. She just doesn't like the idea of me being in a uniform, but otherwise she did say she'd respect my decisions anyway. 

As of my dad, well he just took some time to think about it and he did admit it could be a nice experience to have. He just thought I should wait off to see if I have enough time to give to the reserve, but that's all. 

Maybe something helped too: one of my references, a scout leader from when I was younger, said he served 20 years in the reserve in Quebec City (where I applied). They knew him well, so I guess it made them rethink their opinion about the Forces. 


I think it's just the initial shock that makes them really upset. With reason and more informations (mostly talking to a human being), they will accept your decision.

Thanks for all the advices, it was very much appreciated!


----------



## bcperson

Well here is my experience....told hubby I was looking at a clerk job....everything was peachy, realized I MAY not like the clerk job....he said FINE join the infantry and get your head blown off... opinions can be flexible...


----------



## Duc Viet

bcperson said:
			
		

> Well here is my experience....told hubby I was looking at a clerk job....everything was peachy, realized I MAY not like the clerk job....he said FINE join the infantry and get your head blown off... opinions can be flexible...



Judging from that "FINE", I guess he was only being a bit cranky about your....."inconsistent" career choices. Wait for a few days for him to cool down and then have an open discussion with your husband about joining CF. Explore your options first, which trade; Reserves or Regulars (this will greatly impact your family life). 
On the website, they have a whole section to promote women in CF: http://www.forces.ca/en/page/women-92, I hope you can find more solid info from there.

Ps: I'm new to this forums and still learning, if I happen to said anything wrong, I hope everyone can forgive and help me to improve


----------



## bcperson

no it is fine, he was mad because he sees the clerk job as "safe" and doesn't want his itty bitty wifey all blown up  :facepalm:.


----------



## krimynal

bcperson said:
			
		

> no it is fine, he was mad because he sees the clerk job as "safe" and doesn't want his itty bitty wifey all blown up  :facepalm:.



something that did help me with bringing everyone on board ( especially my Girlfriend ) was to bring her with me to the recruiting center , so if she had any questions or whatever , if she had some issue with some part of the job , etc. etc. etc. 

they would be able to answer her , and from the recruiter its always better then the hubby or wiffey


----------



## CombatDoc

bcperson said:
			
		

> no it is fine, he was mad because he sees the clerk job as "safe" and doesn't want his itty bitty wifey all blown up  :facepalm:.


That seems like a very rational concern from someone who loves you and doesn't want you hurt.  It's easy to be blasé about the risk of injury when it seems like a remote risk and you have no real frame of reference (i.e you've never seen the real, non-Hollywood effects of blast).  This also says nothing about the physical demands of combat arms...all this to say,  best of luck in making an educated decision.


----------



## bcperson

CombatDoc said:
			
		

> That seems like a very rational concern from someone who loves you and doesn't want you hurt.  It's easy to be blasé about the risk of injury when it seems like a remote risk and you have no real frame of reference (i.e you've never seen the real, non-Hollywood effects of blast).  This also says nothing about the physical demands of combat arms...all this to say,  best of luck in making an educated decision.




Actually, I have spent some time near the border of southern Sudan and Kenya and have seen a bit, so I am not unaware, of how devastating combat arms can be, and as much as I appreciate the feelings of my loved ones, I think that if you believe in what you are doing is important, then sometimes you just have to make the decision to follow through despite the displeasure of your family. AND I am joining the Reserves so I am not TOO worried about getting hurt, however that is always a possibility.


----------



## firepet

I am married with 3 kids my husband can't work and we decided that me joining the army is whats best for our family. My mom doesn't think i can do it that makes me work even harder to prove that i can but what was hard was when i told my aunt she called me a bad mother for wanting to do this. That  really hurt to have her say why dd you even have kids ? I know that this is not going to be easy but in the long run its what is best for my family . Has any mothers came across this reaction when they joined ?


----------



## BeyondTheNow

I've been fortunate in that I haven't been met with much skepticism or downright unsupportive family members--At least that I'm aware of. However, I do understand what might prompt such reactions.

For me, when someone questions my ability or judgment, especially regarding my parenting and the decisions surrounding my family, it's very difficult not to become defensive. But I think reactions such as your Aunt's are based on poor knowledge of the military and what it offers. I also believe there are specific fears that some people hold regarding thoughts of combat/war and the like. While others automatically equate the Army to negative stereotypes and poor lifestyles. 

Since I don't know you or the history and dynamic of the relationship between you and your Aunt, I hope you're able to explain the benefits that the military can offer and how your family situation can be improved upon. If she isn't the type who can be spoken to easily, then it may just come down to a matter of her seeing for herself the benefits and advantages that this new direction will hopefully bring to you. You can also explain to her that should you follow through with this possibility, it doesn't need to turn into a long-term career. If you try it and you find that it's not working out in the best interests of everyone, you can complete your initial term of service, which I believe is 3-5 years in most cases and release. (Someone please clarify if I'm incorrect.) 

It's unfortunate to not have the support you may be needing at this time, but in the end I believe it is a decision solely between you and your husband and what you think is best for your family.


----------



## Van Gogh

Quiet funny because for me it was the complete opposite story.
As soon as I finished my university and got Canadian citizenship my dad came to my room out of nowhere and told me "u should go to the Canadian army"
I was shocked to say the list. U want to get me killed etc.... was my reaction.
Than he said that he believes that I will be a good fit in the army with my character. After doing such research and talking to recruiters now I want to be in the army more than anything atm.  He definitely knew what was good for me !!!

Been through a lengthy recruiting process already, waiting for interview and medical now for logistics officer !!!


----------



## Emilio

Van Gogh said:
			
		

> Quiet funny because for me it was the complete opposite story.
> As soon as I finished my university and got Canadian citizenship my dad came to my room out of nowhere and told me "u should go to the Canadian army"
> I was shocked to say the list. U want to get me killed etc.... was my reaction.
> Than he said that he believes that I will be a good fit in the army with my character. After doing such research and talking to recruiters now I want to be in the army more than anything atm.  He definitely knew what was good for me !!!
> 
> Been through a lengthy recruiting process already, waiting for interview and medical now for logistics officer !!!



Good luck bud! But you should watch your grammar, people in the Army and this forum (*including myself*) are pretty anal about it.

------EDIT------

I see your first language isn't English, but try to watch the grammar anyways.


----------



## Van Gogh

Emilio said:
			
		

> Good luck bud! But you should watch your grammar, people in the Army and this forum (*including myself*) are pretty anal about it.
> 
> ------EDIT------
> 
> I see your first language isn't English, but try to watch the grammar anyways.


----------



## mrdavid1234

krimynal said:
			
		

> something that did help me with bringing everyone on board ( especially my Girlfriend ) was to bring her with me to the recruiting center , so if she had any questions or whatever , if she had some issue with some part of the job , etc. etc. etc.
> 
> they would be able to answer her , and from the recruiter its always better then the hubby or wiffey



Couldn't agree more. Same thing with my girlfriend. She didn't want me AT ALL to join the army but once i brought her to the recruting center and let her talk and ask her questions to the recruiter she was alot more willing to let me go.


----------



## CanadianGuy402

Im 16. And I wish to join the Reserves, however my parents seem to think (for the most part) that the military is for people who cant get a good job anywhere else. The reserves are not the main force, but they still might think it would be bad for me to join. How do you think I can get them to sign the document if they say no? bring them to the armoury to talk to the recruiter im going to see on Tuesday?


----------



## runormal

CanadianGuy402 said:
			
		

> Im 16. And I wish to join the Reserves, however my parents seem to think (for the most part) that the military is for people who cant get a goo hu d job anywhere else. The reserves are not the main force, but they still might think it would be bad for me to join. How do you think I can get them to sign the document if they say no? bring them to the armoury to talk to the recruiter im going to see on Tuesday?



Do you have any friends/family friends who are in the military? That might be a good step.  There is some good videos/links on the forces Website.

You could bring your parents into the recruiting center. I did that, my mom felt better after she asked questions. I also brought my mother aboard HMCS Montreal when they stopped in Toronto, she said she felt more comfortable after that. 

Do they know how the reserve force works? In terms commitment? Its only a day a week, weekend every month.


----------



## dcs

It is unfortunate that your parents feel the way that they do.  The life skills and experience that is gained through the experience, even if you do nothing more and are in for only a few years, is exceptional.  I have two sons in the military, and both would not change it for the world. Their parents would not either.

There seems to be very little or no mid-ground when people are told.  Most are very pleased and outspoken about what a great opportunity it will be for them. A small percentage are of the " how could you possibly let your son join the military".  About half of these change their opinion when we discuss the training and opportunities that they are receiving..... But. there remain a small number that still cannot believe that we would have allowed such a thing.  I truly hope that your parents are not in this group.

Even if we would have refused to sign the form, what do you think my sons would have thought of their parents going forward?  In a year they would I am sure signed on their own and always felt negatively about the fact that we did not do so. (Or lost the opportunity by us doing so)

I also think that too many individuals get their impression from movies particularly American movies and TV shows. Do these people believe everything they watch?  

If you are anywhere near a base or military personnel, I would try to talk to some of them.  I have found that they are more than willing to answer any question in regards to personal experiences.  My youngest son is at RMC and right in the middle of exams so not a good time if you wanted to speak to him, but perhaps the week after if that helps.  Oldest son has just been posted to Moose Jaw and arrives there on Wednesday, so he might be able to speak to you the following week as well. They are  both home for Christmas and we are in the GTA if that helps as well.  I know they are going to be very busy with family and friends, but I am sure could find a few minutes to speak to you if you felt it would help. 

Definitely not a job for people who cannot find anything else.  In fact few that apply are able to meet the requirements.   Good luck and hopefully they will have a change of mind.


----------



## mariomike

CanadianGuy402 said:
			
		

> And I wish to join the Reserves, however my parents seem to think (for the most part) that the military is for people who cant get a good job anywhere else. The reserves are not the main force, but they still might think it would be bad for me to join.



It may help to show them this.

Part Time:
http://www.forces.ca/en/page/careeroptions-123#PartTime-2


----------



## CanadianGuy402

mariomike said:
			
		

> It may help to show them this.
> 
> Part Time:
> http://www.forces.ca/en/page/careeroptions-123#PartTime-2


I doubt they know about that. I knew about it a while before the recruiters even showed up. They just clarified exactly how it works. I'm just assuming they might think that I'll be shipped off somewhere. Last time reservists were forced to fight we were against the Nazis. Ill be joining anyways after high school. If they don't sign they are just delaying it a few years. Bringing them to the recruiter is probably the best idea. I could always schedule another meeting later so that they can talk to him.

The jobs I would be applying for are likely what might scare them. Infantry Soldier and Combat Engineer are my top 2. And the unit is hiring for them both.


----------



## roughneckrico

mandal said:
			
		

> Are there any suggestions on what I can say to my parents to persuade them to let me join the reserves? The main problem is that they think I am going to be called to war as soon as i join up.
> 
> Help? Please?!



Based on my knowledge of the forces/DND, it is a small fraction of enrolled members that actually go and fight in wars. A great deal of the work being done as a forces member is in support to the warrior or base operations (logistics, maintenance/repair, administration, medical, construction, food services). You can potentially have an entire career in the military and retire without ever having fought in a war. Bottom line its a job, a job like no other, but a job nonetheless. 

On the other hand, I can understand that your parents probably would like for you to see other options out there. I went to college did my degrees and then decided I wanted to join after having worked for a few years. The army is always gonna be there, should you wish to join later. In the mean time, it can't hurt to go and experience other things while your young. 

The way I see it, its a choice. If you wait you are postponing your career progression in the forces. If you join and realize its not for you, then you postponed your personal career elsewhere.

If your parents aren't sure and want you to do something else, maybe doing the reserves part time and pursuing other options as well, is an option that you can both live with.

Whether you join the forces or not, family is very important, it keeps you grounded. Having family support in my opinion should be a requirement for joining the forces. 

My 2 cents.


----------



## CanadianGuy402

Good news! After I showed that i'm not getting deployed as soon as I sign up, And explaining why I want to join (Plus showing how it is a good PT job) They will sign the application for the Reserves! I have an appointment with my recruiter on the 7th. Hopefully my application gets processed quickly and I can take my CFAT and Medical!


----------



## ajp

Family matters.  My dad was thrilled when I joined.  My mom supported my decision.  My godmother was appalled.  You can't please everyone.  You have to please yourself.  ....folk song potential.   But really, make a moral decision.  Grab your self hard and decide.


----------



## sunsetpurple

First of all.. Maybe the question sounds like I am asking people to make a decision for me, but I am not. J just want people who had a similar experience to help me out.  

I am 18 now. i have been thinking about joining when I was 16, but I was not a Canadian citizen at the time. I just became one recently. When I look at my life so far I feel like I have never accomplished anything, I am a big quitter. I graduated high school with honors. I quit university after two months despite doing so well in my classes, but I have felt like I am wasting time, so I applied for a different program. So I took two retail part time jobs and paid off the debts that were accumulated in those two months (about 4K). 

I always admired army officers fighting and defending their country, I always loved helping out people and it gives me a great feeling, however now I will be a nameless fighter, which is okay with me. My parents were welcoming to the idea for the fact that my education is paid, back when I brought it up when I was 16, they didn't think I was serious. Even my dad served in his country's army because it was mandatory, so he told me a lot of interesting stories. 

I feel like I am very serious about this, but my family probably won't give me support starting with reasons like how I am a girl. I want to take on a side role, be a technician or part of a medical team. 
Any advice?


----------



## matthew1786

sunsetpurple said:
			
		

> First of all.. Maybe the question sounds like I am asking people to make a decision for me, but I am not. J just want people who had a similar experience to help me out.
> 
> I am 18 now. i have been thinking about joining when I was 16, but I was not a Canadian citizen at the time. I just became one recently. When I look at my life so far I feel like I have never accomplished anything, I am a big quitter. I graduated high school with honors. I quit university after two months despite doing so well in my classes, but I have felt like I am wasting time, so I applied for a different program. So I took two retail part time jobs and paid off the debts that were accumulated in those two months (about 4K).
> 
> I always admired army officers fighting and defending their country, I always loved helping out people and it gives me a great feeling, however now I will be a nameless fighter, which is okay with me. My parents were welcoming to the idea for the fact that my education is paid, back when I brought it up when I was 16, they didn't think I was serious. Even my dad served in his country's army because it was mandatory, so he told me a lot of interesting stories.
> 
> I feel like I am very serious about this, but my family probably won't give me support starting with reasons like how I am a girl. I want to take on a side role, be a technician or part of a medical team.
> Any advice?



You aren't a big quitter don't beat yourself up like that! I left University for three years and decided after that time to go back, now I will graduate from University when I am 28 years old! If you want to become an officer in the Canadian Forces and have an amazing career, now is the best time to apply! You tried one program at University and decided it wasn't for you, that is a good thing. No time wasted there! Think about it more this time and try another program!

Now that you're a Canadian citizen you have nothing to hold you back. If money is a problem in order to finance your education, the forces will pay for your University degree and at the same time give you a salary while going to school.

As for which kind of job you will like to have in the forces, go on the website forces.ca and have a look at all the occupations. You will find a ton of useful information on the website. The best part is that if you fall in love with a job that you see and get a lot of information about, you can apply for a degree at the Royal Military College that will directly apply to the job you want! Good luck! 

PS. Welcome to the forums!


----------



## Kamikaze1655

On a side note here, I just have a question regarding joining the reserves at 16. I am currently 15 with  a couple of months left until I finish Grade 10. Can I start my application process now and as soon as I complete Grade 10 I can just training?

Much appreciated.


----------



## raoufhakam

it was quite funny and kind of complete opposites of my parents reaction (i didn't tell them until i actually submitted my application for Reserve), actually my brother found out (when he found the recruitment forms on my desk) and brought it up to my parents at dinner:
my mom: you gonna get yourself killed?  :facepalm:
my dad: i you're not willing to die for this country, you don't deserve to be Canadian (i come from immigrant family)


----------



## Treemoss

I first applied when I was 17, but had to back out of it because my mom thought the military was a huge conspiracy and that I would be a test subject for drugs and stuff... also because she would've tossed me out of the house. I ended up applying again 2 years later, but I backed out of it because I didn't get accepted for the paramedic program. After taking a pre-health course and getting accepted into the program, I applied once again when I was 20........ but got shut down because of my parents and my driver's license. Now almost 3 and a half years later I have applied again despite already working as a paramedic. 


My family was against it for the longest time, but I as we get older our parents trust us a little more with the decisions we make in life. I had a sit down with my mom and we talked about it. I  told her I didn't want to spend the next 3 years finding a job, then bending over backwards for the next 10 years trying for a full-time position.. and then suddenly I'm 40 wondering what I've done with myself. It's not the life I want right now. I want to go places and see the world and know I'm making a difference here at home and abroad. And, most of all, start a new page in our family's history. 

She was very humbled, after years of hostility toward the very thought. She realized that I was extremely passionate about this. She told me that she was afraid to lose one of her boys, and all I told her was "I know, and you got the right to be". We ended our conversation with her giving me a hug of approval. 


If it's something you feel you want to do and pursue, no one can really stop you, but just remember your family is important too.


----------



## Alderson

I have my application in for the Regular force.
My mom is completely against me joining the Military because as she says I'm "Signing up to die" and doesn't understand about all the great career opportunities and where the Military can take me in life.

I've explained to both my parents about why I want to join and do something with my life, but they still don't understand.

Also, one of my friends who is a Reservist is telling me I'm basically (Excuse my French) F'ing my life up by going Regular Force.

How should I deal with this discouragement? And/Or do any of you have similar experiences that could help both my parents and friends understand why I'm trying to join the Military?


----------



## DAA

Alderson said:
			
		

> I have my application in for the Regular force.
> My mom is completely against me joining the Military because as she says I'm "Signing up to die" and doesn't understand about all the great career opportunities and where the Military can take me in life.
> 
> I've explained to both my parents about why I want to join and do something with my life, but they still don't understand.
> 
> Also, one of my friends who is a Reservist is telling me I'm basically (Excuse my French) F'ing my life up by going Regular Force.
> 
> How should I deal with this discouragement? And/Or do any of you have similar experiences that could help both my parents and friends understand why I'm trying to join the Military?



Maybe show them this ----->  http://www.forces.ca/en/page/forfamilies-151


----------



## Alderson

Appreciate it, this will definitely help with the parent side of things.

Do you have anything for my friends though, or should I just tell them to live their own life?


----------



## George Wallace

Alderson said:
			
		

> I have my application in for the Regular force.
> My mom is completely against me joining the Military because as she says I'm "Signing up to die" and doesn't understand about all the great career opportunities and where the Military can take me in life.



You can ask your mom if she is against you riding city transit buses?  You can die on one of them as well.  Photos of bus hit by Via Rail train killing six.


----------



## Alderson

George Wallace said:
			
		

> You can ask your mom if she is against you riding city transit buses?  You can die on one of them as well.  Photos of bus hit by Via Rail train killing six.



Believe me, I've explained to her multiple times that there's a risk of injury/death in any job/environment


----------



## tomgoetz

Alderson said:
			
		

> just tell them to live their own life?



That's what I would do


----------



## petercushing

A lot of people will try and discourage you and give you the old "blood for oil" stuff. Or killing innocent civilians. It's nonsense.
Or personally in my case tell me to go to Alberta to work or another job. It's better to let it go in one ear and out the other in some regards.
Also I heard only 1 in 40 people may die in combat which is a 2.5% chance. You have a higher chance of dying from an accident injury(1 in 36) or heart disease (1 in 5) or cancer(1 in 7). And also on the blood for oil stuff this isn't the US Army for one thing and even then I don't believe in the conspiracy theory of a government just starting a war for oil.

Also I hate it when some people say "you are going to die fighting for a corrupt government"


----------



## mercius

My Mom was against the idea of me joining the military at first, but today I took the oath and I report to BMOQ on this weekend. And my mom was was of the first people to congratulate me and tell me how proud she is. It didn't come quickly, but I sat her down and I told her exactly why I wanted to join - *all *the reasons I felt joining the military was right for me, and didn't leave anything out. I also told her as much as I could about the nature of the job I'd be signing up for so she could see past the "My baby is going to go to war and die!" It took a long time, but once she saw that I wasn't doing this because I wanted to play Call of Duty Cosplay, she became one of my biggest supporters.

Good Luck my friend.


----------



## Eye In The Sky

Sometimes, all you can do is smile, nod, and then go do what you want to do.   :2c:


----------



## PMedMoe

Eye In The Sky said:
			
		

> Sometimes, all you can do is smile, nod, and then go do what you want to do.   :2c:



 :goodpost:

Yep.  Family is one thing and I, personally, would prefer they were on board with any decision I made.  But them not agreeing with me, wouldn't change my mind if it was made up.

Other people?  I don't need to justify my life to them.


----------



## GnyHwy

Alderson said:
			
		

> I have my application in for the Regular force.
> My mom is completely against me joining the Military because as she says I'm "Signing up to die" and doesn't understand about all the great career opportunities and where the Military can take me in life.
> 
> I've explained to both my parents about why I want to join and do something with my life, but they still don't understand.
> 
> Also, one of my friends who is a Reservist is telling me I'm basically (Excuse my French) F'ing my life up by going Regular Force.
> 
> How should I deal with this discouragement? And/Or do any of you have similar experiences that could help both my parents and friends understand why I'm trying to join the Military?



If your friends are actually friends they will give you grief, followed by support once you show them you are serious.  If they don't give you support, tell them to STFU, move on and find some real friends.

For you Mom, tread lightly... Go get a bottle of whiskey and a cigar.  Take a swig and a puff and tell her... "I'm a grown *** man and I'll keep in touch.  Love ya lots!!!"


----------



## petercushing

GnyHwy said:
			
		

> If your friends are actually friends they will give you grief, followed by support once you show them you are serious.  If they don't give you support, tell them to STFU, move on and find some real friends.
> 
> For you Mom, tread lightly... Go get a bottle of whiskey and a cigar.  Take a swig and a puff and tell her... "I'm a grown *** man and I'll keep in touch.  Love ya lots!!!"



LOL pretty much how I told my parents haha.


----------



## Treemoss

Statistically, you have a high chance of getting hit by a car then getting shot in the military right now. Did the math, cross-checked some numbers on the web.. bam.


----------



## Sarah_H

I think the main issue most people have is understanding what the Canadian Forces are. Most of my friends, when I told them I wanted to apply for the CF, assumed it would be how the movies portray the American military. Everyone is in infantry, on the front lines and dies. "No, that's just what Hollywood wants you to think. It's actually more like this..." Once I explained everything, and how I want to get into a trade like Avionics, then they seemed to be more understanding of my choice. And when I went onto explain all the benefits of joining the CF they began to really support my decision.

Luckily my parents were supportive from day 1. I don't know why this surprised me, considering a lot of my family has been or is currently serving in the CF. I guess I assumed they wouldn't support me because they didn't think I could do it. But they are behind me 100% and that couldn't make me happier.


----------



## Jarnhamar

Treemoss said:
			
		

> Statistically, you have a high chance of getting hit by a car then getting shot in the military right now. Did the math, cross-checked some numbers on the web.. bam.



Except when you get hit by a car you can sue for millions and if you get shot in the military you could spend years fighting for a couple of thousand


----------



## burkus2

My mom has never been supportive of my decision to join the CF but my dad and stepdad have had nothing but support for me. My mom is so old school.. She thinks that I'm going to be shipped off to 'Iraq and get shot by Pakis...' pardon the terms but that's her words. To her, the army is a death wish... 
I could care less. I am proud to tell people I am a reservist and if they don't have support for me then they don't understand what reservists do. I haven't started basic yet but I am so excited, I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas. 
I failed my PT once, when it was the EXPRES test on the push ups and I was so discouraged. No support from anyone mainly because I didn't tell anyone. Passed the PT the second time when they switched to the FORCE test. Much easier for me at least. I felt like a million bucks when I passed and still no support from mom. 

I'm just learning to seek out people that will be there for me and support me and educate the people that aren't so supportive and let them know what it is I am doing. My mom just doesn't understand that this is a JOB and a lifestyle... It's no different from when I worked at McDonald's and I changed my lifestyle to accommodate it. 

I really appreciate all these forums and the support from others. You've all got some really good advice!!


----------



## Gunshark

Does anyone have parents who are both very firmly against the military decision and always will be? How did you overcome this strong family disagreement?


----------



## ShadyBrah

For myself, it was rather easy. Both of my parents were against it at first, but once I explained the whole picture they understand better. Mom still isn't 100% on board though. (I'll be taking her grandson away from her! 

Not sure about your parents, but mine really had no idea on what the military offered. I explained to them the benefits, the chance for career progression, and that the experience I will leave with is more than just shooting guns and blowing things up. (I also lied a bit, telling them I'd for sure be posted to a base close to home )

In the end it's your decision, and I hope your family understands and supports it!

Good luck!


----------



## wylertommy

mandal said:
			
		

> Are there any suggestions on what I can say to my parents to persuade them to let me join the reserves? The main problem is that they think I am going to be called to war as soon as i join up.
> 
> Help? Please?!



What is your reason to join the reserves?  If you can answer that and explain it in a passionate way to them then I believe they would let you do it.  Otherwise you would have to end up making a decision whether to follow your goal or your parent's opinion.  Are your parents strongly against it?  Coz if not, then you have nothing to worry about.  Usually they just need to hear from you that you know what you are getting into and that you can handle it. Best of luck mate!


----------



## Marchog

Well, I get to break the news to my bubble-wrap father tomorrow (one day after swearing in). Wish me luck. 

For what it's worth, my mother was iffy, and still loses sleep over it, but she's been generally supportive, as has my brother (who was considering joining at one point himself).


----------



## Marchog

Well, it went better than expected, aside his initial belief that the Reserves were full of illiterate, alcohol/drug-addicted ex-cons, and that I would be attacked or stabbed on the subway due to the uniform. Was it like that in the 70s or something?  ;D


----------



## KerryBlue

Marchog said:
			
		

> Well, it went better than expected, aside his initial belief that the Reserves were full of illiterate, alcohol/drug-addicted ex-cons, and that I would be attacked or stabbed on the subway due to the uniform. Was it like that in the 70s or something?  ;D




still happens....http://www.vancouverite.com/2012/03/08/soldier-stabbed-at-bus-stop/


----------



## Marchog

I heard about that. Wonder if they ever caught the psycho. 

EDIT: Upon further research, it appears that the story was a fabrication.


----------



## TCBF

Remember to explain to your parents that from 2002 to 2014, Canada lost more people killed in avalanches while skiing in the mountains than she lost killed in Afghanistan.

 8)

Our total losses in Afghanistan would have been considered a bad afternoon by a CEF bn in the First World war.


----------



## Pusser

TCBF said:
			
		

> Our total losses in Afghanistan would have been considered a bad afternoon by a CEF bn in the First World war.



The Newfoundland Regiment (later Royal Newfoundland Regiment) lost considerably more than that in 15 minutes at Beaumont Hamel.


----------



## cbucholc

Hey there,
My names Calvin I am 22 years old from Vancouver B.C. I haven't shared anything about my story yet and I enjoy reading about other peoples myself so I figured Id add one to the list. I graduated High school in 2010 and I always wanted to join the military but I was convinced to pursue schooling instead. I started doing a degree in legal studied and criminology but after about 1 year I dropped out from the mind numbing dullness which is a classroom. In 2012 a friend of mine got me a Job at a Local Kal-Tire where I began an apprenticeship as an Automotive Technician. I've currently achieved my Level 3 ticket but I find the job to be again "mind numbing" so in August 2014 I decided to re-spark my dream of being in the military, except this time around I've had a girlfriend for 3 years. I got my first contact from the Vancouver RC a month after giving me a date for my CFAT. Im thinking to myself "great! Ill write the CFAT see how it goes and then Ill tell my Girlfriend". So November comes around I write my CFAT and go home. So its December and I still haven't heard about my CFAT so after calling the RC like a madman for 1 week trying to get in touch with them I finally do and it turns out they were missing some paperwork so I bring it down there the next day and they tel me i scored very high on the CFAT for the trades I am applying for. So today's the day then, I have to tell my girlfriend about my plans. Lets just say she doesn't take it very well for obvious reasons. Well i don't let it slow me down and keep going through the process. Feb. 18 2015 I had my interview. I've read alot of posts about peoples interview experiences and it got me a little nervous ie; know military history, everything about your trades etc. 
I did some reading up about current events I refreshed my memory with my trades and their training and locations and some of the obvious basic interview questions/answers. Well it went great so for all those worrying about your interview, don't. Just know your basic stuff. Anyways, march 5th i completed my medical it all went great other than when I was doing the physical the examiner said she hears a murmur in my heart and Ill have to go get signed off by my doctor. No problem, I was born with a hole in my heart but its mostly closed up and Its never affected me what so ever I'm just waiting for my doctor to get back from vacation on march 20th. The hardest part about the applications o far is getting my girlfriend on board with this. I feel like a dick asking her to pack up and move all her things when/ IF im done training and transfer university s but I find that if I randomly bring it up and we talk a little about it then it helps!


----------



## DAA

Why not just show her this ----->   http://www.forces.ca/en/page/forfamilies-151


----------



## Pusser

I find that many "significant others" of potential CAF candidates have a "Hollywood" view of a military life that is nothing but hardship and separation.  Have no doubts; there will be hardships and separations, but in many ways, Hollywood's most realistic portrayal of military family life is _"I Dream of Jeanie"_ (less the genie).  That is to say, the vast majority of military members live relatively normal lives, with 2.6 kids, a dog and/or cat, and two cars in the driveway of a modest house in the suburbs.  We go to movies, play in the park and volunteer with our kids' activities.


----------



## Alderson

My parents come home from vacation later tonight, for me to tell them that I'm flying out Saturday.

My mom is completely against it, like 100%. When I told her I was merit listed she just busted out in tears without even knowing what the Merit list is...

I've told her why I'm joining, yet she still doesn't understand. She just thinks that the first day of BMQ, I'll get gunned down.

She wants me to stay so bad that when I randomly asked where my passport was (Assuming that I needed it for the Military) then she hid it, and I haven't been able to find it since.

Anyways, tomorrow morning should be rather... Eventful.


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## Gunshark

I'd like to offer a few words for consideration on the family and other important topics, being in the application process for a long time and having had many tough conversations with family about joining the military.

I think "getting your family on board" is not the best way to think about it. The idea is not to sell your family on your endeavors. I would recommend really thinking deeply about the reason you'd like to join the military and making sure it's a good one. By good I mean that ideally you'd like to bring positive change. Help people. Improve quality of life. Save lives. Realize that there is a very high chance this may not turn out so. Armed conflict, for example, may not result in any of these positive consequences, and instead result in quite the opposite, as history has shown countless times. Do you look at it as saving lives or taking lives? You should think about that too. At the very least, to not become a liability, but rather gain useful skills and become an asset. Think about what you may be asked to do in the military. Do you believe you can? Do you believe the consequences will be positive or negative? Think about your particular trade/occupation in the military. Do you see yourself being an asset in that particular trade? Think about politics too. Are you prepared to follow orders? Realize that you will not necessarily always understand or agree with them. Think about your loved ones. Your responsibility is not only to your country but to your family, to people who have given you everything. So instead of just convincing your family, I would suggest talking with them about everything, and making sure you are altogether in agreement and at peace. You will feel much better and more satisfied, whether in the end your decision is to join or not. The most satisfaction and peace of mind comes from believing that you've made the right choice, not from the actual end result.

Some of the bad attitudes and their resolutions, in my opinion:

- Joining just because you have extra testosterone and just want to shoot guns and blow things up all the time. Of course it's a lot of fun. But there's a lot more to it. And your actions have consequences. Think about them. Don't do things just because they seem "cool". That kind of thinking only serves yourself.

- Joining simply because you don't know what to do with your life. I frown every time I hear that. I understand many people, especially young people, experience this. I'm no exception. However, it's your life and you only have one. Don't just float through life if you can help it. Put in some effort, figure out what you like, where you belong, and what you want to achieve and why. Then decide how you can best achieve it, whether with the military or in the civilian world. Try to have reasons for why you do things, have a bigger picture in mind. It doesn't have to be complete, or exact, or set in stone. But it's always good to continue thinking about why you do the things you do. Don't do them "just because", as you may regret them later, when you wise up. I'm not saying don't take chances. I'm just saying do some thinking. And make sure the thinking is your own. Recruiters are there to guide you, and I have met many helpful recruiters, however they also have an interest in recruiting you, keep that in mind. In my experience, however, recruiters don't push you to do anything you don't want to, so that's great to see.

- Don't disregard advice of your family and the older generation. While some advice may be outdated or based on a different place, a lot of things in life never change. It's important to do the things you think are right, and make your own mistakes to really learn. However, don't dismiss life advice from older and wiser people. Process it and see what you can take from it, see what you agree and disagree with. Give it thought and make your own decision in the end. It took me a long time to really appreciate this. You know how parents tell you "you'll thank me later"? There's a lot of truth to that. Also, don't resent your family if they disagree with your military decision. In most cases, it simply means they care about you probably more than you realize, but maybe they just haven't quite found the right ways or words to express that.

- Don't have the attitude that the military world is cooler than the civilian world, or vise versa. Don't become that annoying army guy or girl, who act superior the minute they've completed boot camp. It's obnoxious and your friendships might suffer because of it. Be confident and humble. We all have our own path to follow and our own battles to fight. If you know in your heart you are doing the right thing, and you are happy with your career choice, you shouldn't have to prove anything to anyone or seek validation. Humble competent professionals are usually the most respected.

Just my :2c:. Not trying to influence anyone one way or another. Just some thinking points that I thought were worth a mention, to help people think deeper about the meaning of their actions and the impact they make.


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## highway7

Good advice Gunshark. My entire family is against me joining the military, I come from a very traditional Chinese family where they want me to be a doctor, engineer, accountant, businessman, etc. They see any sort of physical labour as an unskilled job and only define success as two things; higher education and a 9-5 desk job. My dad even said on the topic of me not going to university after high school because I didn't believe it would help me get a job, "It doesn't matter if you get a job or not, as long as you have a degree that's all that matters." Sure, well you're not the one paying student loans. 

I'm joining the army because I enjoy working on my feet, working on the go. The army provides me with paid training, a stable career afterwards, and the opportunity to be part of a team (The entire CF) and grow both personally and career wise. I really hope I get selected to be part of the CF


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## RocketRichard

Your mum hid your passport? Oh my.


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## blacktriangle

highway7 said:
			
		

> Good advice Gunshark. My entire family is against me joining the military, I come from a very traditional Chinese family where they want me to be a doctor, engineer, accountant, businessman, etc. They see any sort of physical labour as an unskilled job and only define success as two things; higher education and a 9-5 desk job. My dad even said on the topic of me not going to university after high school because I didn't believe it would help me get a job, "It doesn't matter if you get a job or not, as long as you have a degree that's all that matters." Sure, well you're not the one paying student loans.
> 
> I'm joining the army because I enjoy working on my feet, working on the go. The army provides me with paid training, a stable career afterwards, and the opportunity to be part of a team (The entire CF) and grow both personally and career wise. I really hope I get selected to be part of the CF



Why not get an education _and_ pursue a military career at the same time? I'm happy with the experiences I've gained, but I'm getting to the point where not having yet finished a degree limits my potential in life. If you are academically inclined, I highly suggest you consider university. If you aren't afraid of a leadership challenge - go officer. Even those of us who aren't officers (NCMs like myself) eventually have to be able to lead. You are going to be expected to make decisions and stand behind them - you will never be able to please everyone all the time. The same thing applies to your family.

Just  :2c: from someone who has _ignored_ a lot of great advice in the past.


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## RocketRichard

Spectrum: good points. However, it can be done the other way as well. I did 3 years in the reg force then got a few degrees.


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## blacktriangle

Agreed, there are many ways to approach things. My point being that his parents want him to get a degree, he wants  to join the military and have a stable career, and he's conscious (rightfully so) of potential student debt. Admission to ROTP _could_ satisfy all of those requirements, and I feel it would open the most doors for a young person with the "right stuff".


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## RocketRichard

True. I didn't go back to the reg force. I did join the reserve and became an officer


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## Gunshark

I would second the above advice any day - absolutely do consider going to school (university). When you're young and your parents push you to go, it can come off as "we want to run your life" and the kid's attitude tends to be rebellious. However, school is a great thing on so many levels - opens up your mind, gives you knowledge, teaches you how to problem solve, surrounds you with intelligent people. You should WANT to go to school yourself, not because your parents want you to. If you absolutely DON'T WANT to go to school but do end up going because your parents made you, chances are you will thank them 10 years later when you understand what they meant all along.

Oh and the reason your parents are saying engineer, doctor, lawyer is because these are well paying jobs and always in demand. Many people get arts degrees and then struggle to find work. There is nothing wrong with following your passion, just have a plan for getting a job later to support yourself. A lot of young people don't plan for that and work retail after university.

As for the military. Why not both? Plenty of reservists are university students. Reserves will also give you a chance to feel the atmosphere of the CAF and then once you have a university degree, you will have all doors open for yourself - continue in the CAF if you love it, or get a good civvy job. Being in the Reserves will also help you pay your student loans. If you leave the CAF, you will walk away with great skills and memories. If you stay in the Reserves, you will continue training and picking up a few extra bucks to add to your civvy job. Sounds pretty good.

Look at my case. I have a degree and a job. And I decided to join NCM in the Reserves, although I could've gone Officer, because I wanted to be in the field with the guys doing the dirty work. Still early to tell how that will turn out, but that's the plan for now.


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## Angus6369

Hi all, 

I have been really excited because I was offered a trade (combat engineer) that would be a change for me, a new start in a career I've always wanted to do. But since my offer to head to basic my wife has changed her supportive attitude... Which really isn't fun. I was offered a job with an ambulance service and she is dead set that I should just stick with what I've been doing for the last 7 years. 

With all that going on, now I am finding myself torn. I love my wife, she wants to start trying for kids but with the perception she has of the military she is doubting that now. Not to mention the financial side of things. Due to the layoffs from the north, I was able to draw EI and make almost 1000 every two weeks. She is worried that the 700 every two weeks won't be enough to cover our bills at home. 

I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I know it's a hard post to answer, but anything would help. If for nothing else it's good to just write it all out! 

Cheers


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## Pusser

First off, if you want to do this, you need the support of your family, if you are to remain a family.  However, to allay some of your wife's fears:

1)  Financially, it may be a bit rough at the beginning, but things get better rather quickly.  Remember that promotion up to corporal is automatic and corporals make pretty decent money compared to a lot of jobs.  As of today, a basic corporal makes $56K/yr; however, we're due for a pay raise.

2)  A career in the CAF is virtually (not completely, but virtually) lay-off proof.  Basically, showing up on time and wearing the correct clothing will keep you employed for a long time.  Doing better than that can often provide greater rewards.

3)  Although there will be separations due to training and deployments, most CAF members are quite able to live normal middle class lives:  house, two cars, 2.6 kids, dog, cat, social life, sporting activities, volunteer activities (e.g. hockey coach, scout leader), etc.

A little bit of pain now can lead to great rewards in the future if you play your cards right.


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## Angus6369

Thank you for the post!


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## mariomike

Angus6369 said:
			
		

> But since my offer to head to basic my wife has changed her supportive attitude... Which really isn't fun.





			
				Angus6369 said:
			
		

> I love my wife, she wants to start trying for kids but with the perception she has of the military she is doubting that now.





			
				Angus6369 said:
			
		

> she is dead set that I should just stick with what I've been doing for the last 7 years.





			
				Angus6369 said:
			
		

> She is worried that the 700 every two weeks won't be enough to cover our bills at home.



This may help,

Recruiting website / info for families
"There are many different reasons why your loved one may want to join the Canadian Armed Forces."

and,

Military Family Resource Centres 
https://www.familyforce.ca/sites/AllLocations/EN/Pages/default.aspx



			
				Angus6369 said:
			
		

> I was offered a job with an ambulance service and she is dead set that I should just stick with what I've been doing for the last 7 years.





			
				Angus6369 said:
			
		

> I have worked as a Primary Care Paramedic for 7 years





			
				Angus6369 said:
			
		

> Due to the layoffs from the north, I was able to draw EI and make almost 1000 every two weeks.



Not sure which province you work(ed) in.

But, I worked as a PCP at just the one department for my entire working life and had job security. In addition, the city paid a decent salary, benefits and pension. There was never a layoff, strike or lock-out. 

Even if there had been a lay-off, ( the department was / is actually rapidly growing in numbers ) under the collective agreement, workers would have to be called back in order of seniority before hiring anyone from off the street. Rather than take the lay-off, you could also "bump" an employee with less seniority in another job classification, if you wished. Thankfully, it never came to that.

It sounds like you have 7 years seniority with your service? If it's a lay-off, I would think you would soon be called back to work. 

In case you are looking for a job, as of yesterday, the city was hiring PCPs,
http://milnet.ca/forums/threads/121267/post-1409560.html#msg1409560
Reply #11

Good luck getting your wife on board with your CAF application.


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## DAA

Angus6369 said:
			
		

> I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I know it's a hard post to answer, but anything would help. If for nothing else it's good to just write it all out!



http://www.forces.ca/en/page/forfamilies-151


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## Okanagan Guy

Hi All, 

I applied to the forces over 3 years ago (in fact I started the process 5 years ago but had to wait for citizenship). After several delays with my application, I was Merit Listed this week. Now it seems inevitable that an offer is coming, but I'm still patiently waiting for that call. 

So here's my situation, I have a 4 year old son. His mother and I separated about 6 months go. The only hint of hesitation in my mind about joining up is the relationship with my son. His mother was planning on coming with me once I was stationed, but that obviously won't be happening anymore. They'll be staying in the Okanagan Valley and the closest Infantry base is in AB. So I suppose my question is to the moms and dads in forces. Whether you're still with your partners, divorced before or during your service... How do you cope with being away so much. I always new being away from family was a reality of the forces, but separating recently has really made me wonder. I know my relationship with my boy will be whatever it will be, and that the forces may not be a long term thing (although I'm pretty sure it will be). But the thought of missing so much of my son's life is really hard to think about. 

All that being said, I can't help but remember when I separated, I was just as worried as I am now about loosing my son. Turned out, we have a much better relationship now then we ever did, even though I only see him 50% of the time. 

Maybe I'm just whining a bit about the obvious. I know I need to make a choice. It's just been running through my mind the past 2 days and I think I just need to get it out with some people who've served and have kids. Or maybe there's a 20 year old kid out there who's dad served and was away all the time. Would love to hear from you too. 

At any rate, there was selection for my trade on Monday. I'm expecting the call riiiiiiight now!..... riiiiiiiiiiight now!... darn it! lol.


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## mariomike

Okanagan Guy said:
			
		

> How do you cope with being away so much.



These are about coping with temporary separation from family. Whereas your separation sounds more permanent than temporary. At this stage of your application, it seems there is little hope of getting your son's mother on board.



			
				Okanagan Guy said:
			
		

> His mother was planning on coming with me once I was stationed, but that obviously won't be happening anymore.



But, they may help you and your son cope,

How do the families cope during a tour? Tips and pointers for first timers.
https://army.ca/forums/threads/33246.0

How do RESERVIST'S families cope during a tour? 
http://army.ca/forums/threads/51349.0

Military - Family Life Balance  


			
				guysletsdoit said:
			
		

> How do the CF personnel, be it an officer or NCM, cope with the stress of being away from family?
> 
> Also how do the spouses, kids and family cope with their family member being away?





			
				Okanagan Guy said:
			
		

> the forces may not be a long term thing (although I'm pretty sure it will be).



Good luck whatever you decide.


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## whinter

So I want to go to RMC after I graduate and would like to get some actual experience in the forces. My mother who always says try everything is vehemently opposing my decision is there a way that I can convince her to let me join the reserves 




Thanks in advance


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## Lumber

whinter said:
			
		

> So I want to go to RMC after I graduate and would like to get some actual experience in the forces. My mother who always says try everything is vehemently opposing my decision is there a way that I can convince her to let me join the reserves
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks in advance



Hard to say without knowing your mother or why she is so opposed to it...


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## Loachman

Welcome to Army.ca, whinter.

Read the thread with which I have merged this.

Most things have been discussed here before. Reading through older threads and using the Search Function will generally turn up answers to your questions, and sometimes even answers to questions that have not even occurred to you yet.


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## DAA

whinter said:
			
		

> So I want to go to RMC after I graduate and would like to get some actual experience in the forces. My mother who always says try everything is vehemently opposing my decision is there a way that I can convince her to let me join the reserves
> 
> Thanks in advance



Show her this and she can read for herself ----->  http://www.forces.ca/en/page/forfamilies-151


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## runormal

whinter said:
			
		

> So I want to go to RMC after I graduate and would like to get some actual experience in the forces. My mother who always says try everything is vehemently opposing my decision is there a way that I can convince her to let me join the reserves
> 
> Thanks in advance



She is likely worried about you getting hurt, killed or getting called up to go to Afghanistan or something along those lines, like all mothers should. Likewise she probably doesn't understand the reserves.

I don't know why anyone wouldn't join the reserves, if you don't get in to RMC you should be mostly trained by the time you get to university. You'll get $2k a year for school, it'll keep you in shape, you'll make friends, it pays well, you'll get to do some cool things/travelling if you are available and you will not find another job that is so flexible for students. Likewise I have gotten some transferable skills, leadership, attention to detail, trouble shooting and problem solving, time management and working in a team.

Ask her specifically why, and them come back or search back here.


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## dimsum

runormal said:
			
		

> She is likely worried about you getting hurt, killed or getting called up to go to Afghanistan or something along those lines, like all mothers should. Likewise she probably doesn't understand the reserves.
> 
> I don't know why anyone wouldn't join the reserves, if you don't get in to RMC you should be mostly trained by the time you get to university. You'll get $2k a year for school, it'll keep you in shape, you'll make friends, it pays well, you'll get to do some cool things/travelling if you are available and you will not find another job that is so flexible for students. Likewise I have gotten some transferable skills, leadership, attention to detail, trouble shooting and problem solving, time management and working in a team.
> 
> Ask her specifically why, and them come back or search back here.



It's also possible (likely?) that like most in the public, her only impression with the military is from movies/media.  If you're considering joining the Reserves, have her come with you to the unit on a parade night and talk to various people there about their experiences.


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## Lumber

Dimsum said:
			
		

> It's also possible (likely?) that like most in the public, her only impression with the military is from movies/media.  If you're considering joining the Reserves, have her come with you to the unit on a parade night and talk to various people there about their experiences.



You could also join the Naval Reserves. The pay is the same, but our uniforms are waaayyyyy nicer.


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## Loachman

And there's w - a - y more rum, sodomy, and lash as well...


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## Pusser

Loachman said:
			
		

> And there's w - a - y more rum, sodomy, and lash as well...



Not so much rum anymore and the lash is definitely out.  As for what goes on between consenting adults...


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## big.guy.for.you

My family is TOO on-board as far as I'm concerned. I'm a very private person and my mum is making all these social media posts about me being accepted. My eyes hurt from rolling so much.

I think she's just excited because the last family member we had in any sort of military was my great-great-uncle captaining the HMS Ajax...


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## DAA

big.guy.for.you said:
			
		

> My family is TOO on-board as far as I'm concerned. I'm a very private person and my mum is making all these social media posts about me being accepted. My eyes hurt from rolling so much.
> 
> I think she's just excited because the last family member we had in any sort of military was my great-great-uncle captaining the HMS Ajax...



That's what "Moms" do.  She's merely showing her pride in raising such a fine young man who is daring enough to join the CF.


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## krimynal

DAA said:
			
		

> That's what "Moms" do.  She's merely showing her pride in raising such a fine young man who is daring enough to join the CF.



That or you were a REALLY troubled child and she is now happy that someone else might give you the little a** wooping that she never could do ( that was my situation hahaha)


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## big.guy.for.you

Yeah she's just a really mom-y mom. I was pretty much doomed from the start. She has footage of me with my 1st cousin when we were 4 years old in South Africa. We're both playing with sticks; he's using his as a guitar, and I'm pretending to shoot mine like a gun. He joined a band.


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## MikeRizzi88

I am currently 15 years old, and yes I know that may be a little young to start thinking if my future careers, but every since I can remember, I've always had a fascination with the army (especially the Infantry) and wanting to serve my country   . My parents know of my great interest in the military, but that is all they see it as, not knowing that I have actually been dreaming of enlisting. They are both teachers and probably wish for me to peruse a job in law or the medical field, but I honestly know that those paths are not for me, and would probably make me feel miserable with my work. Can anyone tell me if they have been in this situation and how they got through it?


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## Loachman

Welcome to Army.ca, MikeRizzi88

No, fifteen is not too young. Thinking of your future is to be commended. It took/takes many of us much longer than that to get to the same point.

There is much discussion about this here already, as you can see from the twenty pages of the thread with which I have merged your question. I hope that you can find your answers therein.

There is a wealth of information here about other topics as well. Please take the time to explore older threads on this Site and try the Search Function. This saves others' valuable time repeating earlier answers, saves DS the effort of merging threads of repetitive questions and answers, saves new people the effort of wading through them, and rewards you by providing answers to other questions before you even think of them. You have the luxury of time at this point, so you may as well take advantage of it.

Good luck with your parents, your application, your intended career, and your future in general.


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## Pusser

When I was six years old, I stood in front of a Citizenship Judge and told her that I didn't want to become a Canadian because Canada didn't have an army.  She assured me that indeed it did and so I said OK and swore the oath (of citizenship).  I joined cadets when I was 14 (and regretted not joining sooner) and the Naval Reserve at 17.  I've now been in the Regular Force for over 30 years.

No, 15 is not too young to be thinking about a future in the Armed Forces.  The opportunities are great and there is a lot of fun to be had.  I have no regrets (OK, maybe a few, but most of them at least have a funny story to go with them... ;D).


----------



## DAA

MikeRizzi88 said:
			
		

> I am currently 15 years old, and yes I know that may be a little young to start thinking if my future careers, but every since I can remember, I've always had a fascination with the army (especially the Infantry) and wanting to serve my country   . My parents know of my great interest in the military, but that is all they see it as, not knowing that I have actually been dreaming of enlisting. They are both teachers and probably wish for me to peruse a job in law or the medical field, but I honestly know that those paths are not for me, and would probably make me feel miserable with my work. Can anyone tell me if they have been in this situation and how they got through it?



Everyone has future career aspirations at your age, heck, who didn't.   My suggestion and for what it's worth........

www.cadets.ca/en/join/cadets.page


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