# The Most unbelievable thing ever heard on a Parade...



## LCIS-Tech (29 May 2008)

So, today I had the opportunity to hear the most incredulous, unbelievable, mind-boggling comment I have ever heard from a Reviewing Officer in all of my 23 years of wearing this uniform, and I am curious about what you on this forum make of the comment. For the sake of my own career, I will not mention any names, but I will say that the reviewing officer was a BGen.

Following the inspection and various other "reviewing officer duties", the time finally arrived for the BGen to address the Regiment. In the course of his speech he stated, and I quote: "of course, the best soldiers are in Quebec, but you guys are a close second".

Now..I want everyone here to know that a) we were not IN Quebec. b) this was a Franco Officer who made the comment c) this is not a paraphrase. This is a direct quote.

Now, there was a guy running around the Parade with a Video Camera, recording the parade. I have to tell you: I was/am so damn tempted to try and get a copy of this thing, so I can post it here or for that matter, send it on to the CDS, or maybe the media to get their take on his comments, it's not even funny.

If he was trying to be amusing and/or make a joke, I have to tell you: He missed the mark by a LOOOOOOONG shot. At the reception following the parade, it was the subject of conversation of every NCM in the Regiment as well as a number of officers: "Hurray! We're #2!!!!"

Comments?


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## JesseWZ (29 May 2008)

Now, I haven't been there to hear context or tone or anything of that matter, but it seems to me that while probably tasteless or lacking tact they aren't mind bogglingly out of line. Its just another one of those friendly rivalries that exist in our fine military.


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## HalfmyLife (29 May 2008)

You have to be kidding, a BGen, WOW HOW Totally inappropriate of him. If it was a joke, it was in completely bad taste. If it wasn't a joke, some one should take him aside. A reviewing officer should use his words to rise the spirits of the member on parade be it Navy, Army or Airforce regardless if your an Anglo or Franco. I have never heard of anything like that in my 18 years.


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## Scoobie Newbie (29 May 2008)

Its an opinion and everyone has one...just like assholes.  You could argue it but you would never win because its a opinion based on nothing.


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## CBH99 (29 May 2008)

Although is was in bad taste, perhaps he meant it as a joke??  Perhaps an incredibly bad joke, but a joke nonetheless??  A bit of "ribbing the rivals" sort of talk -- ??   I wasn't there to hear the context, but it sounds like a joke that went wrong....??.....


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## GAP (29 May 2008)

You knew he was a Franco Officer, and from the sound of it, it was a tasteless joke, but a joke nevertheless......I think too many people are getting their hackles raised up over this....


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## cobbler (29 May 2008)

sounds like a friendly joke to me.

In Australia I wouldn't be surprised to hear a reviewing officer from New South Wales say to a bunch of Queenslanders "of course the best soldiers are in Queensland, but you guys are a close second".

A harmless joke, a pretty poor one, but nothing to get your knickers in a knot about.


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## jzaidi1 (29 May 2008)

Not to bash all Francophones in the CF - but in my day a Reg Force Sgt (from Quebec) working in Kingston called me a 'F$%#& Paki' (I'm brown in colour) with no prior provocation.  I can tell you the whole staff around me went silent - including one officer in the room.  I pulled him aside (being a mighty CPL then) and let him know that I was extremely offended and frankly ready to knock him out.  His response - it was a joke & shouldn't have offended me.  He then tells me in Quebec rude statements are common amongst all denominations/races/colours (including their own).

Like I said - not all Quebecers are that bad but I find them to be a bit more elitist and xenophobic than anglophones.

J


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## geo (29 May 2008)

Trust me..... "F$%&? Paki" IS as rude a statement as you will get... ANYWHERE!  even in La belle Province.... 
I am saddened that the Officer who was present did not react & fix this guy's wagon PRONTO!

WRT the Best soldiers being from Quebec...... yeah, yeah.... heard it before.... Have had other BGens from the west say something like that on parade in Valcatraz... - We laughed - no one believed him 

You should see the whoppers that have on occasion come out of our LFQA COS - A Newf Col who has done his career as a "pesky beaver".... (BTW he's the commandant of the Infantry branch).


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## jzaidi1 (29 May 2008)

Yep,

It was a very bad "joke".  I forgave him quickly enough and we got plastered together that night.  Hillier being a Newf - I bet ya he can vouch for the fact that the Newfies make the best soldiers   I'm not from Newfoundland but everyone I have had the pleasure of serving who is from NF have been awesome - real characters right out of a comedy sketch - every one of them.

J


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## Harley Sailor (29 May 2008)

IMHO he was wrong to make such a joke and should be brought back to the next Parade to apologize.


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## Jorkapp (29 May 2008)

There's no disputing taste, and this guy definitely lacked a fair amount of it.

I wouldn't get your knickers in a knot over this. Rivalry is just about everywhere in the CF, and lucky for us, it's friendly. The most you can do is motivate yourself and your troops to prove him wrong.


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## Scoobie Newbie (29 May 2008)

If you really want crass you should check out the bathroom stalls in the Canadian lines in A Stan.  Some good reading.


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## Jarnhamar (29 May 2008)

How in touch are generals with the troops?

I remember a general standing infront of me stating the army wasn't having retention issues. Sgts and WOs respectfully disagreed with him pointing out that many of the troops AND especially a significant number of SNCOs were leaving when we returned from that roto.  The were of course speaking from first hand knowledge and experience considering  they were speaking about their own company/battalion.  The general basically said the SNCOs present were wrong and had no clue what they were talking about.


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## jzaidi1 (29 May 2008)

Generals IMHO aren't as engaged in the front lines as they should be, however, they are in a totally different ballgame and have to think more strategically or politically.  Yes, coming off roto in AStan may result in a fair % of NCMs and Officers leaving but the overall the numbers have been climbing (based on the data I have seen).  I think we are up NET about 5,000 in reg force since 2001 - please correct me if I am wrong.

J


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## Greymatters (29 May 2008)

The truth about 'jokes' is that people tell jokes because they thought the material, in their opinion, was funny, and in most cases, the context of the joke is in line with the person's belief system.  People tell jokes about how sleazy lawyers are because they think they're sleazy.  They tell jokes about politicians having no ethics because they dont believe politicians have any.  They tell jokes involving bias and prejudice because they have bias and prejudice.   There's no such thing as 'its only a joke'.

Back to the thread, although this was told as 'a joke', its obviously plain rivalry.  In addition, there's a time and place for that, and playing comedian to 'loosen up the boys' during an inspection on a parade square isnt it.  

Oh, and Ive heard stupider things come out of the mouths of Generals and Colonels.  Unfortunately, they are human so they get tired and frustrated and are not always on guard, and once in a while some real gems come out...


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## time expired (1 Jun 2008)

Regt formed up for trooping of the colours,officers promenading,
adg. waiting to take over.Officers wives are running  a little late,
coming from tea and cake at the mess,risk cutting over the corner
of the parade square.RSM, in a voice that could be heard in down
town Edmonton screams"get those Wh%&res off my parade square".
Unit,and RSM not identified,but many of you out there know who
it was.The troops found it hilarious the officers less so.
                                          Regards


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## Scoobie Newbie (1 Jun 2008)

That is priceless.


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## AlphaQup (1 Jun 2008)

Maybe he needs to work on his delivery.  :-[


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## Zell_Dietrich (1 Jun 2008)

AlphaQup said:
			
		

> Maybe he needs to work on his delivery.  :-[


Maybe they need less mascara and no clear high heel shoes?    ;D

(oh I hope none of them were in clear high heels)


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## X-mo-1979 (1 Jun 2008)

Apparently you must think you are #2!
Otherwise you would have laughed.

If you were that offended you should have yelled out "plains of abraham".

Take the joke fer christ sake.

Or charge him with making you feel like a X in a group of O's.


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## armyvern (1 Jun 2008)

Zell_Dietrich said:
			
		

> Maybe they need less mascara and no clear high heel shoes?    ;D
> 
> (oh I hope none of them were in clear high heels)



I used to own a pair of those --- not any more though.


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## geo (1 Jun 2008)

X-mo-1979 said:
			
		

> If you were that offended you should have yelled out "plains of abraham".




What's this about an Israeli fighter squadron ?


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## Franko (1 Jun 2008)

I remember being on a parade and waiting for a favourite Officer at the time....'95 ish, Air Force, you figure it out.

We waited formed up ready for inspection for over 45 minutes in the pouring rain, all Officers on parade as well.

After the inspection was over he had a speech where he addressed the parade and got some points out about Somolia that he wanted to get cleared up.

When he was finished he asked if there was any questions. One person raised their voice and said:

"Where were you for the past 45 minutes, Sir?"

He then said "Charge that man" and then stepped off the parade square. We were shocked.

Turns out he was at the Officers Mess....while we were in the downpour, Officers, Snr NCOs, Jnr NCOs, Guests, Base Commander etc he was at the Mess.

Thankfully the man is a civvie now.

Regards


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## Scoobie Newbie (1 Jun 2008)

and the charge?


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## geo (1 Jun 2008)

Well.... wasn't Air vice marshall Birchall... HE wouldn't have tolerated the abuse of the troops.

not all Airforce types are heartless ba$tards


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## armyvern (1 Jun 2008)

geo said:
			
		

> Well.... wasn't Air vice marshall Birchall... HE wouldn't have tolerated the abuse of the troops.
> 
> not all Airforce types are heartless ba$tards



Rest his soul. A great man, the epitome of the professional Officer, and a great speaker.


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## Good2Golf (1 Jun 2008)

ArmyVern said:
			
		

> Rest his soul. A great man, the epitome of the professional Officer, and a great speaker.



Indeed!   A true prince of a man, and still loved in Ceylon to this day!


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## Franko (1 Jun 2008)

Lone Wolf Quagmire said:
			
		

> and the charge?



129. Don't know the outcome of it. It was a CTC Parade and the individual was from the Infantry School.

Regards


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## Scoobie Newbie (1 Jun 2008)

Sorry I should have asked if it went through.


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## armyvern (1 Jun 2008)

Good2Golf said:
			
		

> Indeed!   A true prince of a man, and still loved in Ceylon to this day!



For those of the younger generation not familiar with either the Officer or his accomplishments:

Air Commodore Leonard Birchall - Empire Club Address

Leonard Birchall

I once recall watching him address a Grad Parade with tears streaming down my face.

It would be wonderful to see this gentlemen and some of his speechs passed on to those of the next generation of soldiering. I'm hoping that there's been a move within the CF to convert footage of his speechs to electronic format for both preservations sake ... and for the sake of education in all his areas of experience.

Youtube yielded me no results. Does anyone know if there's archival footage or converted footage available? This man should, quite simply, _never_ be forgotton and should be _required_ learning regardless of uniform colour.


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## Teeps74 (1 Jun 2008)

Aye, the Air Commador is a very impressive man, he will live forever in my memories. I met him twice while in air cadets. His story should be required reading for all engaging in leadership training, regardless of trade or element.


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## Jorkapp (1 Jun 2008)

I saw a video of a speech of his while at CFLRS as part of a leadership class. I'll see if I can find it on the DIN tomorrow.


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## AirCanuck (1 Jun 2008)

just saw this one...

quite a speech.  And here I thought that reviewing officers generally tried to deliver some inspiration when addressing a unit.


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## cavalryman (1 Jun 2008)

Recce By Death said:
			
		

> I remember being on a parade and waiting for a favourite Officer at the time....'95 ish, Air Force, you figure it out.
> We waited formed up ready for inspection for over 45 minutes in the pouring rain, all Officers on parade as well.
> After the inspection was over he had a speech where he addressed the parade and got some points out about Somolia that he wanted to get cleared up.
> When he was finished he asked if there was any questions. One person raised their voice and said:
> ...



Having experienced this "gentleman" prior to his reaching his zenith and his fall, all I can say is that the day he was dismissed from Her Majesty's Service, I danced in the aisles at NDHQ.  Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.  Had he been an army officer in a combat zone, he'd have been voted most likely to be fragged.  He was proof positive that ticket-punching streamers are death on the armed forces.


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## geo (1 Jun 2008)

Len Birchall was in my dad's graduating class at RMC.  While he went off to the RCAF & seconded to the RAF, my dad went off to the Three River Tank Regiment.... the rest as they say is.... history.


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## Franko (1 Jun 2008)

cavalryman said:
			
		

> Having experienced this "gentleman" prior to his reaching his zenith and his fall, all I can say is that the day he was dismissed from Her Majesty's Service, I danced in the aisles at NDHQ.  Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.  Had he been an army officer in a combat zone, he'd have been voted most likely to be fragged.  He was proof positive that ticket-punching streamers are death on the armed forces.



Wonder how his job went with Boeing....

Regards


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## aesop081 (1 Jun 2008)

Recce By Death said:
			
		

> Wonder how his job went with Boeing....
> 
> Regards



Couldnt have gone too well.....the CF did not buy the perticular weapon he was pushing.


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## Jorkapp (2 Jun 2008)

ArmyVern said:
			
		

> For those of the younger generation not familiar with either the Officer or his accomplishments:
> 
> Air Commodore Leonard Birchall - Empire Club Address
> 
> ...



Chief of Air Staff acquired a few DVD sets featuring the Air Commodore in 2006. 

Memo on DMCS: http://comox.mil.ca/din_locl/dmcs/FilesO/DMCS-7093.tif

I wouldn't know the first thing on how to get ahold of these, but at least they're out there.


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## Kiwi99 (4 Jun 2008)

How about a very senior Patricia, served for years, addressing one of the Battalions as Princess Patricias Canadian Light Artillery?  Sounded rather odd at the time.


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## Scoobie Newbie (4 Jun 2008)

Was he drunk?


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## geo (4 Jun 2008)

Kiwi99 said:
			
		

> How about a very senior Patricia, served for years, addressing one of the Battalions as Princess Patricias Canadian Light Artillery?  Sounded rather odd at the time.



Mighta been commenting on someone "shooting his mouth off" once too often

From a sapper's perspective, I think it's funny   >


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## lone bugler (4 Jun 2008)

AEC Kapp said:
			
		

> I saw a video of a speech of his while at CFLRS as part of a leadership class. I'll see if I can find it on the DIN tomorrow.



that would be great, I really want to see this comment, really can't believe this stuff came out of the mouth out of anyone, much less a general officer.


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## Greymatters (4 Jun 2008)

Kiwi99 said:
			
		

> How about a very senior Patricia, served for years, addressing one of the Battalions as Princess Patricias Canadian Light Artillery?  Sounded rather odd at the time.



Remember the CO who told his men to wear pantyhose under their uniforms to keep warm on parade?


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## kincanucks (4 Jun 2008)

Late 80s standing outside the Mega in St Jean and hearing the OC, Maj tête de merde, ordering the assembled OCdts to remove their tunics so he could make sure that their shirts were ironed properly.  It was about -45 degrees Celsius with the windchill at the time.


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## Old Sweat (4 Jun 2008)

In 1960 a few months before I left the regiment to go on officer training, I was serving in M Bty, 4 RCHA in Petawawa. Our new battery commander either had a very dry sense of humour or was a complete dingbat; I'm still not sure yet. Anyway, we had had one of those sudden rushes of deaths of parents and grandparents that occur from time to time right out of the blue and defy all the laws of probability. On the next battery parade the major acknowledged that a number of the troops had suddenly and unexpectedly lost loved ones. After expressing his sympathy, he advised the battery to try and save some relatives for emergencies.


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## armyvern (4 Jun 2008)

lone bugler said:
			
		

> that would be great, I really want to see this comment, really can't believe this stuff came out of the mouth out of anyone, much less a general officer.



You've got his post all wrong. You need to go back and read to whom he was referring.

Because "stuff" that came out of A/C Leonard Birchall's mouth -- is *very* *worthy* of coming out of many *more* mouths.


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## dangerboy (4 Jun 2008)

The most unbelievable thing I heard on the parade square was "Promoted to Sgt from A Coy, Sgt ******" and I found myself marching up to be promoted.


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## Kat Stevens (4 Jun 2008)

"So, today I had the opportunity to hear the most incredulous, unbelievable, mind-boggling comment I have ever heard from a Reviewing Officer in all of my 23 years of wearing this uniform, and I am curious about what you on this forum make of the comment. For the sake of my own career, I will not mention any names, but I will say that the reviewing officer was a BGen."

Obviously you never got to enjoy a J*mmy  C*x special.


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## Roy Harding (4 Jun 2008)

Kat Stevens said:
			
		

> "So, today I had the opportunity to hear the most incredulous, unbelievable, mind-boggling comment I have ever heard from a Reviewing Officer in all of my 23 years of wearing this uniform, and I am curious about what you on this forum make of the comment. For the sake of my own career, I will not mention any names, but I will say that the reviewing officer was a BGen."
> 
> Obviously you never got to enjoy a J*mmy  C*x special.



Funny - I was pulling on a pair of socks today, and noticed that the "toe seam thread" on one was blue, and on the other was red.  Jimmy came immediately and horribly to mind.


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## Old and Tired (4 Jun 2008)

I thought everyone LOVED Jittering Jimmy. >  Have you ever heard that man on a radio, trying to issue FRAG Orders to a Brigade? :threat:  I've have Root canals that weren't that painful.  I remember him in Calgary demanding that one of the female MCpl's remove her TTTTTTTTTTrouserrrrrrrrrrrrs, so he could ensure that she was wearing Military BBBBBBB'BBBBBBoxer shorts.


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## Roy Harding (4 Jun 2008)

Old and Tired said:
			
		

> I thought everyone LOVED Jittering Jimmy. >  Have you ever heard that man on a radio, trying to issue FRAG Orders to a Brigade? :threat:  I've have Root canals that weren't that painful.  I remember him in Calgary demanding that one of the female MCpl's remove her TTTTTTTTTTrouserrrrrrrrrrrrs, so he could ensure that she was wearing Military BBBBBBB'BBBBBBoxer shorts.



My wife was on that parade, a file or two down from that (or perhaps another) MCpl.  Although only a Pte at the time, she determined that if he demanded to see any of HER underwear, she'd take the charge.  We'll never know the strength of her resolve, he passed her by.


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## North Star (4 Jun 2008)

Most unbelievable thing I heard:

"During this past exercise, the leadership of the Bn performed immaculately. I ascribe our current failure to a lack of motivation of the junior ranks."

This was after an exercise when the Coy Comd in question launched a Coy quick attack from a different Attack Position from that he gave in his orders, and at the worst possible angle from the firebase. He actually formed us up on parade to say this. It was a lesson in what not to do as a leader that I'll never forget (I was a Cpl at the time).


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## Bob Terwilliger (4 Jun 2008)

"Remember the CO who told his men to wear pantyhose under their uniforms to keep warm on parade?"

Tony the Tiger Anderson, 3PPCLI ,October 1986 if memory serves. I was in penal (A) coy. I could not believe my ears.


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## Bzzliteyr (4 Jun 2008)

I actually heard that in a recently released movie about a soldier killed upon returning from Iraq...  I actually wrote it in my field pad to verify with google.  Appearently panty hose insulates well.  I have yet to verify.


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## Scoobie Newbie (4 Jun 2008)

I bet it melts real well too


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## armyvern (4 Jun 2008)

Lone Wolf Quagmire said:
			
		

> I bet it melts real well too



Without requiring the application of "flame" too!!

And man, trust me on this one, those bastards can run like the devil.  


Which then, of course, makes any "insulating" properties they once held ... moot.


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## Greymatters (4 Jun 2008)

Bob Terwilliger said:
			
		

> "Remember the CO who told his men to wear pantyhose under their uniforms to keep warm on parade?"
> 
> Tony the Tiger Anderson, 3PPCLI ,October 1986 if memory serves. I was in penal (A) coy. I could not believe my ears.



I was in 10 platoon at the time.  Afterwards, Sgt B****** was so aggitated about it, he almost threw his rifle through a window...


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## 2 Cdo (4 Jun 2008)

dangerboy said:
			
		

> The most unbelievable thing I heard on the parade square was "Promoted to Sgt from A Coy, Sgt ******" and I found myself marching up to be promoted.



I imagine it was unbelievable to everyone on parade! ;D


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## 2 Cdo (4 Jun 2008)

Kat Stevens said:
			
		

> "So, today I had the opportunity to hear the most incredulous, unbelievable, mind-boggling comment I have ever heard from a Reviewing Officer in all of my 23 years of wearing this uniform, and I am curious about what you on this forum make of the comment. For the sake of my own career, I will not mention any names, but I will say that the reviewing officer was a BGen."
> 
> Obviously you never got to enjoy a J*mmy  C*x special.



A bad joke played on the Patricias from the Royals! :threat:


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## Rodahn (4 Jun 2008)

Not heard on a formal parade per se, but at the men's Xmas dinner in 4CER back in the eighties, one particular CO's message to the troops was "Pick your six feet of ground, as this is where your going to die"

For some strange reason he received an anonymous package of toy soldiers with the message of "Play with these"!


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## X-mo-1979 (5 Jun 2008)

The funnest thing I ever heard?

We need the following people for a "work party"......tpr cokehead....tpr cokehead..

Thank you sir!


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