# Worst choice..quitting the forces



## rz350 (22 Mar 2007)

That I ever made was to not stick it out in the forces. I folded like a wal-mart tent in a hurricane, and now I regret more then anything in my life. I am posting this as a piece of advice to anyone else thinking of quitting before you give it a serious chance. YOU WILL REGRET IT!. You will wake up every day and look at your self in the mirror with disgust. You will wonder "WTF did I quit?" every day. Hang in there, if you at least give it a fair chance, and decide its not for you, then that is cool. But dont quit during BMQ like I did. You will just plain hate your self for it.

Now I am just waiting to get my 6 months of waiting over, get some work and school stuff inline, and beg the forces to have me back.

Point of my post: DONT EFFING QUIT! unless you like feeling like a POS.


[EDIT: Spelling of quitting in title.]


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## NJL (23 Mar 2007)

I agree with ya 100 % VR's are almost always regreted, I kinda wish they'd give ya a week instead of a day to decide.. but do a search on here and you'll find that your situation has happened many times before... if ya really want it... stay focused, reapply after 6 months and giver your all. PM me if ya got some questions, I might be able to help... I know exactly what you're going through (seeing my platoons grad picture(w/ me not in it)was like a kick in the stones) you're where I was 6+ months ago (I made the huge mistake of VRing in Sept 06)... now I've reapplied and am waiting for my VFS/med docs to get back. Using it as a learning experience is about the only positive you can take from it.
Good luck


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## goingback (23 Mar 2007)

Same here I VRed almost 15 yrs ago because of a bad choice, I wasn't smart enough to listen to a very wise WO at the time. My parents were getting divorced and my grandmother had passed away and the woman I was with hated the army. My WO at the time said quiting wouldn't fix my parents or bring back my grandmother. I won't repeat what he said about the girl (ladies and children around LOL). But I decided to go anyway and Have spent everyday since kicking my butt for doing it. Now at 35 I'm trying to get back in and had my medical go off to review so I have my fingers crossed. Anyone reading this and thinking about VRing make sure you think REALLY long and hard about it. Trust me you don't want to spend as many years as I have hating a choice you made.


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## rz350 (23 Mar 2007)

NJL said:
			
		

> I know exactly what you're going through (seeing my platoons grad picture(w/ me not in it)was like a kick in the stones)



Me best friend is still on course (reserves weekend BMQ) and every weekend when my friend comes back and tells me about it, is like having a mallet hit your stones as they are on an anvil.

Will, I will say one thing, quitting and feeling like shite for it will sure make your resolve to do it next time really really high. SO hopefully soon, I can be back in it.


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## CADPAT SOLDIER (23 Mar 2007)

what could make you VR during weekend bmq?
If you had difficulties with that, you are really not going to like SQ or your trades training where you don't get to go home on sunday night.


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## rz350 (23 Mar 2007)

Future Unknown said:
			
		

> what could make you VR during weekend bmq?
> If you had difficulties with that, you are really not going to like SQ or your trades training where you don't get to go home on sunday night.



Part of it was work/school/home life actually. Like a lot of pressure from my parent to not carry on with the forces, cause of hippy like leanings. It was more the coming home on Sunday then the BMQ that made me quit. 

[[Edit:grammer/spelling]]


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## NJL (23 Mar 2007)

I was on reg force BMQ, not sure if there's much difference compared to reserves..weekend BMQ sounds like it MAY be easier(adjusting/less days per week,etc)..@ 26, I'd rather be full-time CF then part-time CF... not that there's anything wrong w/ reserves.


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## Jungle (24 Mar 2007)

I can't commend anyone for quitting during BMQ...  :
But I congratulate those determined to return and make it; I wish you all well.

Now whether you are joining for the 1st time, or returning after making a mistake, remember the first principle of war:

"*Selection* and *maintenance* of the *aim*"

Think about it every day.

Now go on an'git'er done !!!!  8)


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## Remius (24 Mar 2007)

Future Unknown said:
			
		

> what could make you VR during weekend bmq?
> If you had difficulties with that, you are really not going to like SQ or your trades training where you don't get to go home on sunday night.



What indeed.  Howvever there are a variety of things that can come into play.  Most reservists have other lives.  School, other jobs.  So you go back to normal life for a week then have it ramped up again on the weekends.  I hate weekend courses.  The only weekend course I ever took was JLC.  I hated every single minute of it.  Dragging my kit out every weekend, resetting the room standard then tearing down again.  My JNCO was much more intense but I preferred it being fulltime.  Get it done in one shot.  

Weekend courses vs full time have pros and cons.  A big con for weekend courses is getting into the right frame of mind and routine.  I suspect that is why some people VR.


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## Adrian_888 (24 Mar 2007)

goingback said:
			
		

> Same here I VRed almost 15 yrs ago because of a bad choice, I wasn't smart enough to listen to a very wise WO at the time. My parents were getting divorced and my grandmother had passed away and the woman I was with hated the army. My WO at the time said quiting wouldn't fix my parents or bring back my grandmother. I won't repeat what he said about the girl (ladies and children around LOL).



Your WO told you not to quit?  The WO on our course was always yelling at us to go home, first thing he did was individualy tell people they were going to quit.

Only day i ever felt like quiting, was when we were learning drill, i was the worst person there at it... i think the worst part was when they just stoped yelling at me, like they gave up or somthing... i seriously thought they were going to fail me for drill lol, but when i asked one of the Mclp, he told me they couldent.  I never would have actually quit though, couse i know id regret it once i went back to my boring civi life. ..... I hate drill... so much.


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## TCBF (24 Mar 2007)

If you hate drill, then you never had a proper drill instructor.


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## rz350 (24 Mar 2007)

Jungle said:
			
		

> I can't commend anyone for quitting during BMQ...  :



I do not think anyone but a left wing hippy would want praise for quitting. 


			
				Crantor said:
			
		

> What indeed.  Howvever there are a variety of things that can come into play.  Most reservists have other lives.  School, other jobs.  So you go back to normal life for a week then have it ramped up again on the weekends.  I



Yup, also, working a late shift (i.e. getting to bed at 2:30am on weekdays) then having to get up at 5am on the weekends was a real pain too. But for me, worst of all, was the c*ck I got when I got back home on Sunday. It made the crse MWO and my sect comd seem nice. I wish I could of done it all at once, so I diddnt have to get c*cked at home. 

But thats all excuses, and in the past. I must look to the future, and have no excuses.


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## TN2IC (24 Mar 2007)

I wish you the best of luck. Remember it is a game. They all have to stand in the line at Tim Hortons.


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## goingback (24 Mar 2007)

Adrian_888 said:
			
		

> Your WO told you not to quit?


I was quitting because of personal life stuff not because of the military. The WO pointed out that leaving the military wouldn't change any of the problems, and he was right and I should have listened. But as they say Hindsight is 20/20


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## Bobby Rico (24 Mar 2007)

I was once told I was too stupid to quit (I think it was some WO during my cadet days while I was at exertion training).  Biggest compliment I ever received.  I don't think I could ever quit the forces, just because normally I'm more afraid of quitting than going ahead with something (even if it is a bad idea).  To those that do quit though, it can't be an easy thing.  The fact that you feel bad for quitting for the first time probably means you just weren't ready for the realities of the military then.  Hopefully now though all you guys that are planning on getting back in are ready for it.


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## NJL (24 Mar 2007)

Bobby Rico said:
			
		

> I was once told I was too stupid to quit (I think it was some WO during my cadet days while I was at exertion training).  Biggest compliment I ever received.  I don't think I could ever quit the forces, just because normally I'm more afraid of quitting than going ahead with something (even if it is a bad idea).  To those that do quit though, it can't be an easy thing.  The fact that you feel bad for quitting for the first time probably means you just weren't ready for the realities of the military then.  Hopefully now though all you guys that are planning on getting back in are ready for it.



It wasn't easy for me... felt like crap, but after about a month I put it in the past and concentrated on my present/future.. and how to use it as a learning experience... going to Franham daily while on PAT helped give me a better understanding of my instructors/ military life outside St.Jean/BMQ..instructors are supposed to hard while teaching BMQ.. my former platoon mates were telling me that they become more friendly/positive after the first 4-5 weeks.

Reasons for VRing can vary depending on the person/ situation.. I have a good idea of what BMQ is like and I can't wait for it...not that it'll be easy but I feel I'm better prepared/more determined now


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## rz350 (27 Mar 2007)

I guess I got to start thinking about trades and Officer Vs NCM. My effective release date was Jan, so I can re-apply in August. I got to think a bit, and do it. Every day, I just get more and more pumpedand angrier and angrier at my self...which has the same effect to do it again, and this time, have success.


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## aesop081 (27 Mar 2007)

How much longer is this hugfest going to go on.......


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## BDTyre (27 Mar 2007)

Crantor said:
			
		

> A big con for weekend courses is getting into the right frame of mind and routine.  I suspect that is why some people VR.



With my civilian job going the way it is, getting in the right frame of mind is no problem.  I look forward to my training weekends.  Its like a 3 day paid vacation from my sad reality.


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## RetiredRoyal (25 Jun 2007)

I agree. Leaving is one of the largest regrets I have. I did it for good reasons at the time, but it never sat well with me.

Since I left I've gone to University, College earned civilian licenses and have a very good job with security etc. I'm getting back in and am stoked about it...and scared to death at the same time.

If you are thinking of getting out, wait a year..then decide.


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## Greymatters (25 Jun 2007)

CDN Aviator said:
			
		

> How much longer is this hugfest going to go on.......



I agree.  Is this some sort of support group?   

Come on guys, you left, remember the good times, use the skills you learned in that short time (legally of course), then move on..


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## RetiredRoyal (26 Jun 2007)

wrong venue..my apoligies. Similar but different topics...out.


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## Sixshooter (27 Jun 2007)

it took me about a month to miss the army after i vr'd (reg force). i was marching around my gf's house showing her shit and how to properly make a bed. lol, i took an hour out of one of my days and finally realized i missed it too much for the month i was there to be back in civvy life. now im going back in august. cant wait.  ;D


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## Kiwi99 (27 Jun 2007)

I look at it this way, if ya didn't like it the first time, chances are pretty good you won't like it a second time. Ya pulled off or got out for whatever reasons.  Thats your personal problem, not something that nees to be plastered over the internet, regardless of what type of forum.  It screams nothing more than 'poor old me'.  Enough hugging and butt slapping, the army aint meant to be nice!


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## oozieman (27 Jun 2007)

Kiwi99 I couldn't agree with you any less. I  got out of the Forces after a couple years and within months I regretted my decision. it took me two years to get back in but 28 years later I'm still in and having a great time.


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## axeman (27 Jun 2007)

Hate to tell you but i know of MANY ppl that have gotten out of the Cf and are much happier for it . most are not "Well after my second year" types these are proffesional NCO's . 10 + yrs . I'm on the downhill slide and when I get out I'm  not looking back love my job hate the uniform... And before I get a flamefest going let me tell you I've already invested 20 yrs into this and wont miss it when i walk away ...


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## Sixshooter (27 Jun 2007)

nothing about this topic seems like a "poor old me" topic, its more of a "if you are gonna vr, think long and hard or you'll be waiting a year or so to get back." i loved it when i vr'd, but i vr'd due to my moms medical problem so you saying people wont like it the second time goes in the trash. we're humans, we make mistakes.


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## NJL (28 Jun 2007)

Kiwi99 said:
			
		

> I look at it this way, if ya didn't like it the first time, chances are pretty good you won't like it a second time. Ya pulled off or got out for whatever reasons.  Thats your personal problem, not something that nees to be plastered over the internet, regardless of what type of forum.  It screams nothing more than 'poor old me'.  Enough hugging and butt slapping, the army aint meant to be nice!



I'm glad your not in recruiting, your entitled to your opinion but I (and others) disagree with it... no one here was asking for symphony or a hug were just sharing our experiences (and past mistakes) that's what these forums are for... everyone makes mistakes that doesn't mean we can't learn from them... thanks for you service in the army, it's much appreciated.

My .02


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## Sixshooter (28 Jun 2007)




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## Deek (28 Jun 2007)

TN2IC said:
			
		

> I wish you the best of luck. Remember it is a game. They all have to stand in the line at Tim Hortons.



Well said.


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## Fusaki (28 Jun 2007)

> Quote from: Kiwi99 on Yesterday at 14:06:10
> I look at it this way, if ya didn't like it the first time, chances are pretty good you won't like it a second time. Ya pulled off or got out for whatever reasons.  Thats your personal problem, not something that nees to be plastered over the internet, regardless of what type of forum.  It screams nothing more than 'poor old me'.  Enough hugging and butt slapping, the army aint meant to be nice!
> 
> 
> ...



Hard training has a way of instilling a "They're not one of us" attitude in troops. On my own BMQ, SQ, and BIQ I remember guys who quit being alienated, taunted, and generally treated like outcasts...

The troops on grad parade are a proud bunch. They've accomplished something difficult - something that not everyone can do. Its a feeling of superiority - you are Darwin's fittest, the strongest, and most determined. You survived what others gave up on. Its part of the necessary conditioning a soldier goes through in order to have a "never give up" mentality in a time of war. Its stress inoculation, knowing that "I'm a hard motherfucker, and I've been through worse." But with that comes the knowledge that "That guy couldn't hack it". Troops have a way of feeding off those who quit. The more guys who don't make it the more exclusive the successful group becomes. It's the reason for elitist attitudes and resentment towards those who hold them.  It's an unfortunate side effect of what I believe to be a necessary mentality.

I'm not taking sides on this issue or justifying one way or the other. Just thinking out loud...


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## Greymatters (28 Jun 2007)

Thats not my tone at all.  My opinion here is that no matter how long you were in for, once you're out its time to move on.  Dont mope over life's mistakes, don't sound like a bunch of Marlon Brando's moaning 'I couldda been a contender, I couldda been somebody..!"  What wrong with the life you're leading now?


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## NJL (29 Jun 2007)

Wonderbread said:
			
		

> Hard training has a way of instilling a "They're not one of us" attitude in troops. On my own BMQ, SQ, and BIQ I remember guys who quit being alienated, taunted, and generally treated like outcasts...
> 
> The troops on grad parade are a proud bunch. They've accomplished something difficult - something that not everyone can do. Its a feeling of superiority - you are Darwin's fittest, the strongest, and most determined. You survived what others gave up on. Its part of the necessary conditioning a soldier goes through in order to have a "never give up" mentality in a time of war. Its stress inoculation, knowing that "I'm a hard motherfucker, and I've been through worse." But with that comes the knowledge that "That guy couldn't hack it". Troops have a way of feeding off those who quit. The more guys who don't make it the more exclusive the successful group becomes. It's the reason for elitist attitudes and resentment towards those who hold them.  It's an unfortunate side effect of what I believe to be a necessary mentality.
> 
> I'm not taking sides on this issue or justifying one way or the other. Just thinking out loud...



I agree/understand your point.. I felt like crap for awhile after leaving my platoon mates (seeing their grad pic online didn't help either).. but I knew that I could either continue feeling like crap/regretting my decision or actually do something about it, so I reapplied and hope to be back in soon... 

greymatter, my life is fine now but my life in the CF will be much better... 

This topic/ thread is just some people sharing their regrets about releasing from the CF.. also telling others that are thinking about it "DON'T QUIT" some of us (many others) have regretted it and you probably will too...  Some of us are rejoining, but I don't recall ever asking anyone on these forums "How do ya think I do this time around?", "Do you think I should rejoin?", "Do ya think I'll quit again?" "Do ya think I'll make a good CF member, even though I VR'd in the past?"  I'm confident I know the answers for myself, or else I wouldn't be reapplying.. if people that don't know me wanna disagree that's fine I guess.. but it's doesn't make a difference to me or change my plans/views. 

My .02


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## Deek (29 Jun 2007)

I know I'm "beating a dead horse" but I too released in 2003 after my BE.  I didn't VR, but I didn't resign.  I left for a woman, like a lot of us guys do and once I was out, I wanted to get back in sooooo bad, I even joined the reserves as a Med A just to keep me involved "so to speak"  Though my woman hated the idea I still joined.  Well our relationship lasted about seven months after my release and I'm proud to say I was in the recruiting centre that week.  To make a long story short, I've been back in for about 2 1/2 years and loving it once again, sure there's some BS in the Military, but there's BS on Civy street too, just a different kind of BS  ;D  So I agree, don't get out unless you're really sure it the right move for you.....and for god sake, don't leave for a WOMAN.   ;D

Cheers


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## xo31@711ret (29 Jun 2007)

sure there's some BS in the Military, but there's BS on civvy street too, just a different kind of BS  ...so true, released after 24 years last aug. Now, all the 'T's are crossed and 'i's doted I start in the reserves this aug or sept. Friend I knew, released after 20+ last fall because of the BS. Got a civvi job at a bank and lasted about 2 weeks; he said he couldn't believe all the whining, back-stabbing and BS at the job. He's now back in on a class 'B' contract.

_'The grass may look greener on the other side, but it's just a another shade and fed a different kind of crap'_


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## Deek (29 Jun 2007)

xo31@711ret said:
			
		

> sure there's some BS in the Military, but there's BS on civvy street too, just a different kind of BS  ...so true, released after 24 years last aug. Now, all the 'T's are crossed and 'i's doted I start in the reserves this aug or sept. Friend I knew, released after 20+ last fall because of the BS. Got a civvi job at a bank and lasted about 2 weeks; he said he couldn't believe all the whining, back-stabbing and BS at the job. He's now back in on a class 'B' contract.
> 
> _'The grass may look greener on the other side, but it's just a another shade and fed a different kind of crap'_



"The grass"  You couldn't more right


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## Ðetermination (5 Aug 2008)

Greymatters said:
			
		

> I agree.  Is this some sort of support group?
> 
> Come on guys, you left, remember the good times, use the skills you learned in that short time (legally of course), then move on..



Sorry for digging up yet another oldy but I must say I agree with your opinion but this thread is good, whats so bad? Telling your story about the biggest mistakes of our lives ( at leaste thats how I see it) helps those who have to keep thier motivation and for those thinking about it not to quit. It really sucks going from having a 7 on your shoulder to getting a nice big P (of course representing PAT) and watching your platoon graduate...So learn from us, dont do it!


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## mr.rhtuner (5 Aug 2008)

Argh to the Zee said:
			
		

> Me best friend is still on course (reserves weekend BMQ) and every weekend when my friend comes back and tells me about it, is like having a mallet hit your stones as they are on an anvil.
> 
> Will, I will say one thing, quitting and feeling like shite for it will sure make your resolve to do it next time really really high. SO hopefully soon, I can be back in it.




Honestly, above my PC desk I just have the two important documents framed that I got when I signed up back in 2004.  The Canadian Forces Oath of Allegiance, and the Certificate of Military Achievement.

Here I now sit, 4 years later...regretting leaving and wasting 4 years of my life while I could have toughed(SP?) it out and been a higher rank now and having a good career.


I plan to be back late 2008 or early 2009 Reg force this time, no reserves and to stay in it!


Hi, my name is Bart and I miss the Army


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## I_Drive_Planes (5 Aug 2008)

I released in July 2005 during IAP and life is good.  I fell from that almost directly into a great job, I work with excellent people, and make really good money.  I own a house, car, truck, motorcycle, and more firearms than the arsenal of some small countries;  I live a pretty darned good and very comfortable life.  Leaving the Army treated me really well, if I had stayed in I would be a third year civvy U OCdt. making less than stellar money and living in considerably less posh accomodations than I am writing you from today.

But,

Leaving the forces is always the rub for me, the one thing left undone.  Leaving is one of very few things that I've done in my life that I'm not proud of.  I can't remember the last day that went by when I didn't think about where I would (should) be.  I still find myself logging on to this website as much as I did when I was a prospective OCdt. looking for info, and on the recruiting site once every couple months at least.  So I'm plugging away at my degree in my spare time (My hat is off to those entering via CEOTP, doing a degree while working full time is a big challenge).  So if I ever get that piece of paper I'll be back to finish what I started.

Brodie


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## Ðetermination (5 Aug 2008)

I_Drive_Planes said:
			
		

> I released in July 2005 during IAP and life is good.  I fell from that almost directly into a great job, I work with excellent people, and make really good money.  I own a house, car, truck, motorcycle, and more firearms than the arsenal of some small countries;  I live a pretty darned good and very comfortable life.  Leaving the Army treated me really well, if I had stayed in I would be a third year civvy U OCdt. making less than stellar money and living in considerably less posh accomodations than I am writing you from today.
> 
> But....



Well thats good I mean when I left all I ended up in was a dead end job, sure I got more schooling under my belt now but its been a hard 3 years. Im glad things werent as easy going for me, its kindve my punishment for being so obtuse now I know what i want in life and am striving for excellence every step of the way. Cheers!


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## kratz (5 Aug 2008)

For those who left  but are working to return, great to have you back.

For those who retired and are choosing to return, your shared skills with new members is worth it.

For those who are remembering,  weather retiered or released, share your experiences and find strength in what you have learned.


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