# Personal Story



## Canadian.Trucker (20 Jul 2012)

So what can I expect on a basic para?  Any info is appreciated.




Just kidding guys!  Don't hit me *cringes*

So I'll explain why I put this in the homefront section.
After 7 years of begging and wishing for a basic para I have finally been placed on a course.  It starts Monday running from 23 Jul-10 Aug, yippee.  Here's the kicker, my wife is due with our second child on the 4th of August.  I'm praying she either goes overdue by a week like she did with our first, or the little guy decides to make his entrance into the world exactly on his due date (yes I know both of these are pipe dreams).

Needless to say I gave the wife a heads up that if she pops early in the middle of week 2 of the course I might not be able to make it home in time.  Momma wasn't happy about that.

Basically I would appreciate happy thoughts from all of you that either a) The little guy comes right on time or b) If I can't make it home that I am able to maintain my manhood and that my wife doesn't shoot me when I do eventually get home.

Pro Pasipita (For Family)


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## Canadian.Trucker (6 Sep 2012)

I've been debating if I would post anything further in this thread, but feel that perhaps it might be good as others may have, currently are, or will experience something similar in the near future and our experiences as a family could be of some benefit.

My wife's way of coping is to talk about things, mine, not so much.

So on 08 August 2012 I completed all 5 jumps and received my wings.  I requested early dismissal of course as my wife was already 4 days overdue at this point and could go into labour at any moment.  The CFLAWC staff were very understanding and accommodating and let me leave Wednesday afternoon so I could get home.  Good thing I left early because my wife started having contractions approximately 1 hour before I arrived home (I arrived home around 5:30pm).  Her labour progressed rapidly and our midwife arrived at our house at 9pm.  This is where things went downhill... fast.

The midwife couldn't find the heartbeat.  My wife's contractions were coming normally and there were no other signs that anything was wrong.  After not being able to find the heartbeat for about 20 minutes we rushed to the hospital.  An ultrasound was performed and a heart monitor lead was hooked up to our sons head while he was still in the womb.  There was no heartbeat and no brain activity.  Our son passed away.

It is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced in my life and I would never wish such pain on anyone.  To have your child not even take their first breath makes you feel helpless, I felt the rush of all emotions at once.  My wife and I both had difficulty letting him go and leaving the hospital 5 hours after his birth.

There are many more small details but that's not why I'm typing this.  I'm writing this to give hope and joy.  My wife and I are deeply sad at the loss of our boy, and not a day goes by that I wouldn't do or give anything to have him with us.  But we are moving forward together with the love and support of our family and friends and our faith in God, we move forward.  We have hope because we believe we will see him again some day, and hope that his passing is touching lives through us.  We have already seen it in our friends and family that he has touched their lives.  We have joy because we had him for 9 months while he was growing in the womb, and even then was showing some of his personality just in simple ways as to how he would shift and move and react to my wife pushing on his feet.  Joy also exists because we make it exist, we treasure life so much more and appreciate every moment with our daughter and our friends and family.  We make a conscious effort now to not stay angry or bitter or hold anything back.  Life is so valuable and precious that there is no room to focus on the negative all the time.

Everyone copes and deals with difficult situations in their own way, but know that if you're going through a hard time there is light at the end of the dark tunnel.  How we choose to act or deal with the hardest of experiences will affect more than you know.  So choose to find the joy.

I'll finish with a quote my wife found "The amount of time on earth matters very little: A man can live in greed and pride for 90 years and never find God, know him or accomplish His Plan. A baby born sleeping on the other hand, teaches people to love, brings people to the Lord, teaches us the tenuous nature of life and teaches us a faith that those who have not suffered loss can never know. A child not even breathing for an hour, can have an impact greater than a famous preacher. The purpose of life is not ours to decide nor in our hands: it is brought about by God." ~ Author Unknown~


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## hagan_91 (6 Sep 2012)

Wow, thats a very sad story. Im sorry for your families loss.


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## X Royal (6 Sep 2012)

My sympathy to you & your family.

Rick


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## 2 Cdo (7 Sep 2012)

Wow, that's horrible CT. My deepest condolences to you and your wife.


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## Neolithium (7 Sep 2012)

That's terrible news.  My condolances to you and your family.


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## Jager (7 Sep 2012)

My condolances to you and your family


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## J.J (7 Sep 2012)

I can't even imagine the pain your wife and yourself are feeling. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## Canadian.Trucker (7 Sep 2012)

Appreciate all the thoughts and support guys.

We're doing pretty well all things considered.  Like I said, we've chosen to try and maintain a positive spirit in all this, and draw support from each other, family and friends.  There are those out there though that may not be doing so well dealing with a difficult experience, and I just wanted to pass along some kind thoughts and words of support.


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## Danjanou (7 Sep 2012)

As per original poster's request thread title changed.

Again Canadian Trucker my condolences

STAFF


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## Waters81 (7 Sep 2012)

My deepest condolences to you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## Old Sweat (7 Sep 2012)

CT, I can't imagine what you and your family have gone through, but you have shown true courage and compassion in adversity.

A number of years back our nextdoor neighbors' infant son died. It was terrible, and one of the most gut wrenching things I ever experienced was when the tiny coffin was wheeled into the packed church. Those few of us who had managed to maintain our composure lost it then and there.

God bless you.


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## Canadian.Trucker (8 Aug 2013)

365 days exactly after our son passed away.  He is often in our thoughts and we still wonder what little milestones and actions he would be doing at this point to make us chuckle and see his personality developing.  Today is especially hard for my wife because as I said earlier she is a heart on the sleeve wants to talk about it kind of person.

I truly did/do appreciate all the thoughts and prayers from all of you here, the community on this forum is appreciated, but I'm not posting here today to garner more sympathy.

As I said before I really do want people to perhaps take from our story hope that there is a positive that can come out of your worst day.  We have been expecting now since approximately January of this year, and *he* is growing daily and is getting big.  My wife's due date is 08 October, but already he's measuring between 2-3 weeks ahead of schedule and is probably going to make an appearance mid to end September.  He is not a replacement for our son, he is not a runner up, and he will be loved just as much as our daughter and our other son were.

Like I said before we treasure life and our time as a family together so much more than we did before.  (not to be a big giant sap, but...) On this beautiful sunny day go out, look up enjoy the warmth, take a big breath and put a smile on.  From me to all of you I pass on well wishes and happyness, because on the 1 year anniversary of one of the worst days of my life, I'm choosing to smile.


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