# made a bad choice want to go home



## noone (21 Feb 2007)

I have finally made it to battalion, in shilo 2vp and at first i was little happy to be done everything but upon being here for a few weeks i realize i really don't want to do this as a long term career because i don't feel interested(weird because most people would bebut figured it would look interested in the stuff we use), I really miss my family back home and wish to go to university to complete a degree. I realize that VRing will not go over very well and is possibly not even going to through for a year, how would a component transfer do in comparison? (i could stay in the reserves while completing my degree, finally be able to visit my family on regular basis and get a more fulfilling (for myself) career that i am more interested. (for everyones information i did think of VRing during training but thought that would make me look weak to my peers, I believed I should prove I could complete the training and at least see what battalion life is like see if it would be more interesting to myself).


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## tree hugger (21 Feb 2007)

noone said:
			
		

> I believed I should prove I could complete the training and at least see what battalion life is like.


How long have you been in Shilo?  Don't you feel you should honor your 3 year commitment?  There are plenty of people on this site that would be glad to take your place.

I seriously doubt they would let you transfer to reserves without completing your contract.

Everyone misses home, their mom, thier significant other... you need to soldier on.  There are always highs and lows.  Welcome to a low.


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## Franko (21 Feb 2007)

I'm gathering that your rather a bit on the young side so get ready for it.....

Little bit of tough love time....hold on, here we go.

You just got in, first time away from home. Got to your Bn and not finding it to your fancy.

Not a problem. Honor your commitment and complete your contract.

Homesick? You have to grow up and face it sometime, why not now?

If this is anytime to face your fears and getting some confidence this is the time to do it.

Now if you're still wanting on getting out, put in your VR or an OT and get ready to face the consequences.....whatever they may be.

My 0.02 donkey dollars worth.

Regards







*Now a mod note: Fill out your profile and use the proper punctuation or no one on this site will take you seriously. *

edit...crap.


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## noone (21 Feb 2007)

I understand that there are always highs and lows (I became very depressed aroud christmas time but kept on got better and finished the course). I'm currently 18 joined when i was 17 (basic started 2 days after my high school graduation courses were all back to back so no time on pat). I wish to honor my commitment but  I realize that if i stay for the rest of my contract i will kind of be cheating myself and the army as I will not be overly dedicated and will waste time which I could spend estabilishing myself in another career path. As for facing the homesick problem I kind of grew up with a broken family so I don't mind it to much but would like to see my friends, family and significant other more than 20 days a year for the next 3 years. Although I see the point on the component transfer not going through due to my contract obligations, which would mean a lengthy ordeal of VR with the undoubted harassment from the higher ups and peers who will call it weakness thinking I cant do it when I simply feel no reason to do this, but I will wait sometime and think it over.


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## orange.paint (21 Feb 2007)

If you don't want to be there go to your section MCPL and tell him.He will assist you on your memorandum to VR.

If you don't want to be there get out.Plain and simple answer.I'm sure if you told someone "I want to release" they will sort you out.


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## a78jumper (21 Feb 2007)

Ditto. I certainly had my fair share of experience trying to motivate soldiers that were not quite sure if they wanted to be there. Put in your release and move on to plan B. Good luck.


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## tree hugger (21 Feb 2007)

You will regret it if you VR.  Take a look around at some posts (search VR or released).  You'll find posts by members who quit and then regreted in and wanted back in.  Your time in will not be wasted.  If you part ways with the CF after your 3 years, that will look great on your resume.  Would you like to tell your next future employer that you worked hard and served your country for 3 years or would you like to tell him you quit when you lost interest...

After your 3 years, you could have a nice chunk of change saved, enough to help pay for your degree and have your CT to reserves to help support yourself while in school.  Tough it out - it'll be worth it.


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## NL_engineer (21 Feb 2007)

noone said:
			
		

> I understand that there are always highs and lows (I became very depressed aroud christmas time but kept on got better and finished the course). I'm currently 18 joined when i was 17 (basic started 2 days after my high school graduation courses were all back to back so no time on pat). I wish to honor my commitment but  I realize that if i stay for the rest of my contract i will kind of be cheating myself and the army as I will not be overly dedicated and will waste time which I could spend estabilishing myself in another career path. As for facing the homesick problem I kind of grew up with a broken family so I don't mind it to much but would like to see my friends, family and significant other more than 20 days a year for the next 3 years. Although I see the point on the component transfer not going through due to my contract obligations, which would mean a lengthy ordeal of VR with the undoubted harassment from the higher ups and peers who will call it weakness thinking I cant do it when I simply feel no reason to do this, but I will wait sometime and think it over.



Who said that you could not further your education while in the CF?  Plenty of University's and College's offer on-line courses.  It will require that you keep on top of all the work, no time off from regular duties; but most units will accommodate you in the writing of your exams.

Stick with it till at lest the 1 year mark, you've been in for what 6 months?  I know I was home sick on BMQ, but I got over it fast, and made a bunch of life long friends in the process.  You WILL make friends, and get over the home sickness, and possably enjoy the military


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## niner domestic (21 Feb 2007)

Noone, I'm sorry you miss your friends and you're experiencing a let down in your new posting.  I certainly know what it feels like to be a zillion miles from home, in a brand new environment and feeling as if i was second guessing my choices.   All I can say is allow yourself some time before you make anymore choices and/or decisions about your future.  

At 18, it's hard to understand that the buddies you went to school with aren't seeing your career choice in the same light you are.  It's even harder when you realize that those same friends aren't heading in the same direction as you are and it's even scarier to realize that you are quickly leaving them behind.  It's very disturbing to discover that you've out grown your school pals and right about now, it seems that the easiest way to get back on track with them is to head on back to where they are.  No matter if you stay in Shilo or head back home, your friends are either going to be left behind as you all grow in different directions or  you'll fall back in the same old and in about 6 months of that, wonder what ever possessed you to head on home.  

So, make a deal with yourself.  Give yourself a no decision period for at least a week. Revisit your concerns in a week and then put them on hold for another week.  In the following week, make a new deal with yourself that you will give yourself the choice of quitting.   You will give yourself permission to VR when you've had enough.  I can pretty much guarantee you  that once you've given yourself permission to VR when you want to , you all of a sudden won't want to and you'll go from week to week convincing yourself that things aren't quite bad enough for you to quit.  

Be honest and also assess your friends that you miss.  Have they called you? Written to you? Emailed you? Have they invited you to the big event of the month/season/year? Or have they just casually mentioned it to you after it was all said and done? 

When I was 18 and living in the UK and just out of training depot, I thought I missed my friends more than I liked my new career in the Wrens.  I used to kid myself that my school friends missed me as much as I imagined I missed them.  The sad reality was, they had pretty much forgotten about me, and the old adage out of sight, out of mind had kicked in.  I realized all of this on a leave period, and after flying trans-atlantic and crossing the country to get to my little burgh in the YT. Most of my so called friends, weren't around and those who were, barely noticed I had come home.  The people that were more concerned how I was doing were the other Jennies back in the UK, they were the ones who called my folks home to see how the trip was, and made sure to tell me about an upcoming event that I was to try and be back for.  After that leave, I was pretty sure then that the being in the wrens was where I wanted to be.  I stayed for my 3 years and returned home to Canada to join the CF.  

Give a small thought to who it is you've brought your problem to, and who are the ones listening? You're one of us now and even if you think we don't care, we do.  Give yourself time noone.  By giving yourself that time, any decision that you will make will be made with experience behind it.  You know what it's like to be a school chum, now it's time for you to learn what it's like to be a soldier.  Who knows, you may like the soldier way more.


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## orange.paint (21 Feb 2007)

It's a very personal decision.If I was in a job I couldnt stand I would get out ASAP.Thats just me.You have one life to do with what you want.Why be miserable?

Everyones gotta have a plan,I got a plan B and C.


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## CdnArtyWife (21 Feb 2007)

noone said:
			
		

> I understand that there are always highs and lows (I became very depressed aroud christmas time but kept on got better and finished the course). I'm currently 18 joined when i was 17 (basic started 2 days after my high school graduation courses were all back to back so no time on pat). I wish to honor my commitment but  I realize that if i stay for the rest of my contract i will kind of be cheating myself and the army as I will not be overly dedicated and will *waste time which I could spend estabilishing myself in another career path*. As for facing the homesick problem I kind of grew up with a broken family so I don't mind it to much but would like to see my friends, family and significant other more than 20 days a year for the next 3 years. Although I see the point on the component transfer not going through due to my contract obligations, which would mean a lengthy ordeal of VR with the undoubted harassment from the higher ups and peers who will call it weakness thinking I cant do it when I simply feel no reason to do this, but I will wait sometime and think it over.



IMO, time in is NOT time wasted.

What life experience you would bring with you after completing your obligation to the CF would be time well spent. You would learn responsibilities and have a much better work ethic than that of your non CF peers. You take that with you to any university/career path and you would do well.

If you think you are unhappy and not dedicated now...so be it. I feel the same way when I have a 2.5-3 hour training run ahead of me...I mope and make excuses to not go...but about 20-30 minutes in, can't for the life of me think of any other way to spend a Sunday morning. I know its apples and oranges...but my point is, give it time, if, after a year or so, you still feel the same way...re-evaluate then.

my $0.02

CAW


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## tree hugger (21 Feb 2007)

niner domestic said:
			
		

> Give a small thought to who it is you've brought your problem to, and who are the ones listening? You're one of us now and even if you think we don't care, we do.



n-d +1


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## Ex-Dragoon (21 Feb 2007)

EX_RCAC_011 said:
			
		

> It's a very personal decision.If I was in a job I couldnt stand I would get out ASAP.Thats just me.You have one life to do with what you want.Why be miserable?
> 
> Everyones gotta have a plan,I got a plan B and C.



He hasn't even given it a chance. I hated the navy for my first year and a bit I remustered but you stick with it, if you start quitting every time something is not to your liking now you will be a quitter your entire life.


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## a78jumper (21 Feb 2007)

CdnArtyWife said:
			
		

> IMO, time in is NOT time wasted.



I' d argue that one......I spent a total of 4 1/2 years at NDHQ and of that time I only actually had a job for one year. Senior officers got really pissed off when I told them I was totally underemployed in a position I could not relate to at all.  "Selection and maintenance of the empire".



			
				EX_RCAC_011 said:
			
		

> It's a very personal decision.If I was in a job I couldnt stand I would get out ASAP.Thats just me.You have one life to do with what you want.Why be miserable?
> 
> Everyones gotta have a plan,I got a plan B and C.



My sentiments exactly. Which is exactly why I took my release after twenty years. I had a great time in but the prospect of sitting another minute twiddling my thumbs trying to look busy was having a negative impact on my life.


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## Yrys (21 Feb 2007)

Lots of good advice here, particularly niner domestic .

It's sad to say, but after school , people that spend years together
drift apart by life. It's happen a lot after high school, for me it' happens 
mostly after a university degree. I lost all those friends with whom
I was so intimate.

niner domestic has give you good advice to evaluate those friendships.
It's a kind of evaluation that is always though on self, because it's the reevaluation
of what you thing is the present, when it fact it's mostly base on a picture from the past,
and it's hurtful. That's part of growing up, of moving into another part of life,which can't be stop.

Give yourself months to growth accustom to your new life, then take a vacation to visit the old one,
and question yourself to see if it is really what you think it is. Which, in my opinion, won't be.

Will it be near enough of what you think it is to quit the CF? You may surprise yourself then...
(well, I hope you will . and I hope I was clear in my thouth-to-words process )


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## tomahawk6 (21 Feb 2007)

Noone are you afraid of going on tour ?
Have you not made any friends at Shilo ?
Don't you like being out on your own, making good money ?
Arent your parents proud that you are serving your country ?
If you are bored take college courses, maybe the CF has a tuition assistance program ?


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## Flesh.Injected (21 Feb 2007)

I am not yet in the army but I am in the middle of my recruiting process. I really think you should stick it out man. Could you deal with being "DISHONOURABLY DISCHARGED." I know that I couldn't. Eventually you will live on your own as a civilian and miss your parents/friends and such. Loneliness is inescapable. I think you should stick it out and prove to yourself that your a man and not only a man, but a man of your WORD. Think it over good before doing anything. Set aside your emotions and I think you will see that the army was and still is a great choice of yours. Just think about how proud your family, friends and you yourself will be after you complete your three years. Just my 2 cents so take them as you will man.

-Norwood


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## aesop081 (21 Feb 2007)

Flesh.Injected said:
			
		

> I am not yet in the army but I am in the middle of my recruiting process. I really think you should stick it out man. Could you deal with being "DISHONOURABLY DISCHARGED."



If he asked for an early release, he would not be "dishonourably discharged"........ :

back in your lane


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## ChristopherRobin (22 Feb 2007)

I don't know if I'm out of line or not (since I'm still waiting to get in) but at 18, 3yrs is a drop in the bucket when it comes to your entire life. You still have time to go to school after you're out of the military and you still won't be too far behind others that are in university. Plus you'll have these amazing experiences and memories. I'll give you an example:

-I was in army cadets for several years and in the Montreal area, between different corps and regiments, a lot of us were friends. A guy I knew went to the RCR, like you, right out of high school. So meanwhile I go to college for a couple years (Quebec educational system) and started university right after that. Who's in one of my 1st year classes?? This guy. He completed his 3yr commitment and enroled in the same university as me. Because he was 21, he enroled as a mature student which means he only had to complete one extra year of classes before he could graduate.

The point being: This guy goes to the military, saves a bunch of money, does a few 'cool' courses like recce, makes life-long friends, goes back to school and is one or two years behind the rest of us.  You still have time to do A LOT before you need to decide on anything.  It's actually good to take time off after high school to see what interests you before you jump into college or university.


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## 1feral1 (22 Feb 2007)

noone said:
			
		

> I really miss my family back home.....



Suck it pal, I only get a chance to go home and visit my family every 3 or 4 years. Imagine that eh. Normally I am over 22,500km from dear ole Saskatchewan, and  I am currently on Ops in the MEAO.

You are an adult, you made a decision, now stand and deliver!

Be a man among men, honour your commitment, and soldier on.

100's of thousands of other Canadians have made it, and so can you.

Wes


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## xo31@711ret (22 Feb 2007)

Here's a situation I had a few years ago: young guy applied and was excepted to ROTP ( a very competitive and highly drawn out process due to competition / limited number of seats). Guy was accepted to RMC (well done!). He now has a university education paid for at a highly respected credited university, collects a paycheck, room & board, etc. About 11 months later, I see him in his home town. I ask him how RMC is going. He says he dropped out / VRed because he missed his girlfriend.  :crybaby: WTF? I say...Well how is your girlfriend, I ask...He says, Oh we broke up about a month after I got home. Looking for a job now, but I'm going to apply for an officier position in the reserve unit here. (He had superb marks in highschool, but no futher education; unless of course one counts his 4 months or so at RMC....) :

Stick with Dude; finish your contract; remuster when you can. A lot of civvie employers  look favourably on previous military experience (eg, discipline, work ethos, etc) not on someone who cannot complete an obligation that they volunteered for.


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## geo (22 Feb 2007)

Pick Another said:
			
		

> I am not yet in the army but I am in the middle of my recruiting process. I really think you should stick it out man.
> Could you deal with being "DISHONOURABLY DISCHARGED." J
> ust my 2 cents so take them as you will man.
> -Norwood



Uhhh... Norwood

VR is not a dishonorable discharge
You're not in and you're talking outa your A$$
Many say & / or think "Young'uns should be seen and not heard"

have a nice day


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## The Bread Guy (22 Feb 2007)

I agree with those who say if you're really, really miserable, you shouldn't stay.  However, I also agree with those saying you should give it a chance.

I like the idea of revisiting it every week - if you are about 18 or so, why not try to got through a year?  At worst, you're starting another career path at 19 instead of 18 (not much time lost), and you may find yourself in a VERY different situation 12 months from now.

+100 to those saying it's NEVER wasted time - you, yourself, said you proved that you could do the training.  If finishing the job wasn't important to you, I don't think you'd have pushed as hard as you say you did in training.

Trust me, you have a LOT of life left at 18 - I'm still figuring out what I want to do when I grow up at 45  

Good luck with your decision.


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## observor 69 (22 Feb 2007)

noone, read the comments by niner domestic and Yrys and think carefully over what they said, they speak to the personal.

 I think you have answered the "be a man, show you can do it " part already by getting to where you are.

Take the time to think things through carefully before you take any action.


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## ladybugmabj (22 Feb 2007)

noone said:
			
		

> would like to see my friends, family and significant other more than 20 days a year for the next 3 years.



Here's my .02 worth...my husband is currently finishing off his tour in Afghanistan with 1RCR...I have more friends here than I did in highschool. I am in contact with only 3 friends really that I knew in highschool.  As for family..my god,* this unit and regiment and the wives that I have met through our coffee mornings/evenings, THEY are my family. * Yes, my family is close (6 hours...as is everything in Petawawa it seems!!), but these ladies, and even some of the husbands that have stood by their spouse for the past 6,7 or 8 months, they understand what it's like. My father, sister and brothers can sympathize with me, but this wonderful group that I have gotten to know over the past 7 months can empathize with me. 
  As for his family, they are in Saskatchewan. I want to go home this Christmas, since it's been 10 years since we did Christmas with his family. We have gone home over summer leave, and even that was 5 years ago. He knows no one in his home town now!!
   Oh, and as for spending 20 days with a significant other, as much training as my husband has done and tours he's been on since I've been with him (7 for me, he's done eight), we do spend more than 20 days together. 
Good luck in your choice!!  Weigh the options....I'm sure the pro's outweigh the cons!!


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## Teflon (22 Feb 2007)

noone


Check your private messages on this site


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## Spring_bok (22 Feb 2007)

A normal reaction after being in the training system for the better part of 6 months with a 24/7 school environment then being shipped to a little place like Shiloh with free evenings you are not used to having.  Not being told when to eat and when to go to bed.  Well suck it up and soldier on.  The Army has just spent allot of money on you and they expect a return on their investment.  There could be considerations for release but homesick is not a likely one.  You are an adult now and must accept the consequences based on the decisions that you make.  If you still feel the same way after your BE than you are in the drivers seat then.


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## McplWagar (22 Feb 2007)

Stay in and finish your time. If you get out now and go to school and think your world is a lot better just remember when you start looking for your career people will ask why you quit the army. If you quit them you might quit this job so I wasted my money training you and you quit on me. Do your time it shows you can make and complete your commitments, time to grow up and prove you can be an adult.


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## Chou (22 Feb 2007)

Some of my personal experiences...  

Right after highschool i went straight to University with many of my friends.  Throughout the four years i`ve met countless individuals (including myself) who didn't know what they wanted to study.  Some friends of mine ended up switching majors 2-3 times, from engineering to economics to history, you name it.  I myself  went from comp. sci to physics and eco, but that's besides the point.  I met one individual in second year who was much older 26 or 27 then the rest of us (19 -20).  I though he wasted his time changing majors like the rest of us, but i was wrong.  He knew exactly what he wanted in life and in his studdies.  He was smart, resourceful and wise.  I was a bit surprised to see a person like that.  I later found out that instead of going to university he joined the navy for 3 years.  He saw the world.  He told me many stories of camaraderie and adventure (including washing off the skid marks of a Sea King landing gear off his helmet).  

Sure it was tough but it was worth it!  I could not fully understand it until I joined the CF.  In many instances today people that come out of highschool are either too young or don`t really care what they want to do as a career.  Some lack structure and guidance.  My advice to you is to stay for the 3 years.  Civi friends will come and go but the individuals you meet here are for life.


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## seamus (22 Feb 2007)

You sound like a young troop stick it out for a bit see how it goes. I have been in for almost 2 decades and when I joined I had no choice(some of the older persons will remember people like me). So you can imagine how I felt. Granted my first posting was to Workpoint but all the same, give it some time.


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## TAS278 (22 Feb 2007)

I have been in for 6 years and I can tell you in my limited experience that are things you will love about the military and things you will hate. Make sure you express some of your concerns to your supervisors. Most people realize happy workers are better workers. You have to earn everything though so quitting before trying isn't going to get you much in the outfit or the one you choose after. 

AS it has been said, we all make choices and some of them are mistakes. We have to live with the consequences and try to not to let one mistake turn into many..

Good Luck and Keep your chin up, the homesickness gets easier. Trust me.


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## PPCLI Guy (22 Feb 2007)

I believe you will find that there are severe restrictions on soldiers releasing during their first 3 years.  Given that, why don't you make the best of the situation, and give it your all?


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## orange.paint (22 Feb 2007)

Wesley (Over There) said:
			
		

> Suck it pal, I only get a chance to go home and visit my family every 3 or 4 years. Imagine that eh. Normally I am over 22,500km from dear ole Saskatchewan, and  I am currently on Ops in the MEAO.
> 
> You are an adult, you made a decision, now stand and deliver!
> 
> ...



As Wes said we all spend most of our time away from family.Be it our parents and extended family in rural NWT or our wife and children.It is a part of the army life.You get to go home on vacation.And honestly at 17 I was ready to get out on my own and have my own life.

I'm 25 now and every time I leave home I still get homesick,evertime.

My friend is a Engineer (civilian) who got hired by a huge firm in Texas.He is gone and for one whole year gets very minimal leave,until his second year.Also being a lot farther from home than MOST Canadian soldiers are usually.Civilian world ain't a lot better.Unless you want to work at the local gas station or sell dope, chances are you wont find a stellar job in any rural center.

But as I said earlier,I have seen people like yourself.Who want out from day one.I also seen how bitter and twisted they become when they don't release these members.How much of a burden these whiners and negative people place on their peers and supervisors.

I'm not one for quiting however to come on a public board looking to see what you could do,says to me your either looking for encouragement on "How awesome things will become"or ideas on how to get out.Life is only as fun as you make it.And if your extremely miserable at your workplace day in day out...release.However I know I've been guilty of taking a small amount of problems I had with my career and just focusing on that.Thus I had tried to OT to another trade.After a while of sitting back and looking at the full picture, I realised even though this one part of my career sucked many things were awesome.

Sometimes you have to look at the big picture instead of the one crappy part.

You have not came back to fill us in on the details.However I'm guessing that when you got posted there,you were told at the graduation parade by some officer that you were part of the family.Brothers in arms,no longer a pee-on as you have been in the training system.However now reality that your still a Pte getting yelled at for a crappy uniform and spending your days sweeping and sharpening shovels.Your not at the level some people made you believe.And thus you are disappointed? (Just my thoughts I may be totally wrong)

It all boils down to what is right for you.Many people will rant about whats right for the army.However realise your a number,nothing else.This is YOUR life and if you choose to be a productive civilian so be it.I can't fault you for that.


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## FormerHorseGuard (22 Feb 2007)

if this is how you really feel, take time on your free time and go talk to the padre ( nothing gets backs to the command  it stays and ends there in his or her office) and get some career advice from him, also ask to have an imformal chat  with your Mcpl and Sgt and tell them how you feel and ask  what can be done about it and any changes they can help you make before you put it in writing. Ask them what  is the big picture is for you, ask if your doing a good job and what  improvements you can make. If you quit now you might always wonder how far you could of gone. 

I got out of the forces and regret it almost daily and know it is next to impossible for me togo back.

As for school go to the edcuation resource office, what ever they call it now and check out the education programs offered there and see what it takes to complete your degree, why not get paid and study at the same time. The res force does not really pay enough tolive on and go to school full time so you would need a income to support yourself.

A problem with young people these days is that some of them have never been away from home and soon as they are away they miss what  whty thought that they had back home. 
6 months is not a good time frame to decide this is not for you and that the army is not for you, Shilo might not be the base and area to show you the more fun side of army life but I think in time you will grow to understand the army more and learn more about yourself if you stick it out and grow as a person.
Good luck no matter what  you decide


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## Roy Harding (22 Feb 2007)

seamus said:
			
		

> You sound like a young troop stick it out for a bit see how it goes. I have been in for almost 2 decades and when I joined I had no choice(some of the older persons will remember people like me). So you can imagine how I felt. Granted my first posting was to Workpoint but all the same, give it some time.



Some of the finest soldiers I ever served with were "people like you".

For Noone:

I echo the comments of most here - especially PPCLI Guy - you aren't going to find it easy to get out while on a BE, make some lemon aide out of what you perceive to be lemons, and give it a burst, instead of moping around.  You'll be surprised at how much fun you're having, and the time will pass MUCH more quickly.  If, at the end of your BE you still want to leave - fine, no one will think any the less of you, you'll have some fine Resume Padding, you'll have acquired some lifelong friendships, you'll have some jack in your pocket, you'll have proved you are responsible enough to live up to your commitments, and you'll have one more thing to be proud of in your life.

Oh, and the girl:  if she REALLY loves you, and you two were REALLY "meant to be", she'll either have joined up with you in the meantime, or she'll be waiting for you if you get out.  She also will have some pride in your commitment and your service.

Roy

Edit:  forgot a word


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## NL_engineer (22 Feb 2007)

Roy Harding said:
			
		

> Oh, and the girl:  if she REALLY loves you, and you two were REALLY "meant to be", she'll either have joined up with you in the meantime, or she'll be waiting for you if you get out.  She also will have some pride in your commitment and your service.



Or she will move up there with you.  Does she call you?


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## 3rd Herd (22 Feb 2007)

A few thoughts on the matter at hand. First at 18, psychologically you are still developing, adolescences ends at or around 22/23. So your decision making process is still in development. Most in this age group make their decisions based on emotion rather than logic. Young age, basic, posted to isolation in Shilo contributes heavily to emotional decisions rather than logical ones. Logic would dictate finishing your three years, gaining as much experience as possible. Your are lucky you are not facing a four year first time go around. Your problems are no differnet from many. It is surprising how many instant marriages occur with those fresh out of basic or trade training, ah those evil hormones cruising through your body. Next, you will find how easy post secondary is with some military experience behind you. Many of us on this site that are currently in the post secondary realm have commented on this. With the option of E-education, post a thread, most will help out in this regard. Further depending on university your time in could count against courses in first year. Time in equals equivalent course requirement. I think both U of M and U of W ascribe to this. As to trading places I have four friends right know myself included that would give just about anything to be back in the regiment. One even advanced the logic that we should be back in and sent on deployment as in various forms we are sort of broken. As we are sort of broken we can replace those that are not yet and save them from being injured. Our VAC rehab worker just smiled.


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## Flesh.Injected (22 Feb 2007)

Since I am obviously uneducated on this situation what are the reciprocation's to leaving before the completion of your contract?


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## aesop081 (22 Feb 2007)

Mission Statement said:
			
		

> Since I am obviously uneducated on this situation what are the *reciprocation's* to leaving before the completion of your contract?



you mean "repercussions " ?


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## Roy Harding (22 Feb 2007)

Mission Statement said:
			
		

> Since I am obviously uneducated on this situation what are the reciprocation's to leaving before the completion of your contract?



There are no repercussions (or reciprocation's for that matter) - however, prior to such a request being approved at NDHQ, the CO has to sign off on the application.  Most CO's are not going to entertain such an idea, for all the reasons outlined above, as well as manpower concerns, etcetera, etcetera.

The only time (in 22 years) I saw such a request was a sad case of a young fellow who didn't WANT to get out, but his Mother had passed away, leaving only the young soldier to be a full-time care-giver for his ailing Father.  I kept in touch with him, on and off, five years later, his Dad had passed away, and the young fellow re-joined.

Edit:  CDN Aviator beat me to it - he was posting as I was typing.


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## GAP (22 Feb 2007)

Wait a minute....everybody is bending over backward to placate someone who is 

  1. homesick
  2. homesick
oh, and 3. homesick.


Get over it, get busy, it's not fatal, you too will grow up.


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## Franko (22 Feb 2007)

Back on topic troops.

The soldier is looking for advice, not slams.

*The Army.ca Staff*


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## orange.paint (22 Feb 2007)

I took a look back at your original post.Let's forget homesick for now.As most people singled that out and didn't notice the part where you said:

"because i don't feel interested"

Well what are your hobbies?If your into fitness why not start preparing for mountain man?Or get some computer courses at the MFRC.Learn french at a nearby colledge or also at the MFRC.Make your off time fun,challenging and interesting.

I cannot see how one could be not interested in the Infantry and want a OT to another trade.IMHO the infantry is one of the most wide spectrum trades offering a lot of different avenues to it's troops.Sniper,Lav3,LIB,Jump platoon's,recce.Hell that's a lot of "trades" all in one.

Maybe you don't feel challenged?Start working on it now and apply for CSOR or JTF 2 when you are able.

It's hard to help you when your so general with your comments.One can derive many different things from your post.Some clarification would be an asset for other people to give better advice pertaining to your situation.


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## noone (22 Feb 2007)

that is a lot replies and all well thought out .

 As for the homesick part I realize I will eventually have to leave home and start my own life and for many of my friends I will be surprised if I ever really contact them again as we will (and are) drifting apart in our directions, although I have one close friend who we both saved each other from suicide and I will maintain some form of contact with for the rest of my life. The primary factor in this is that I am not overly interested in this career like I find that everything we do does not compel me in any way to be excited, not even possible depoyment to Afghanistan (a major reason I joined) for whatever reasons. I am making the smart decision and consulting with counselors about this issue. Money is not really an issue as I have money put away and enough resources I can get access to for paying through university. What I was looking for was simply opinions on all ends of the spectrum which i got. I will wait this out a bit and see what happens.

I was on course 0095

 My hobbies are weightlifting (fallen way out in this category do to the courses), would like to find out if Muay Thai is in shilo, and I have a great deal of interest in politics and history (what I wish to take up in university). For the physical side I can do that wherever I go so it does not have that great of a hold on me especially as outside I will be able to have complete control of my exercise program. I would like to go into polictical sciences and work in whatever portion of this gets the greatest amount of interest to me during university. I went into the military due to my interest in military history and I figured it would be more compelling blowing crap up than working in law,politics etc but for myself this is not appearing to be true and then the addition of homesickness, different interests than most of ones peers etc


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## tree hugger (22 Feb 2007)

Well kid, we have 3 pages invested in you now so we'll help you through this...

How long have you been in Shilo?

One thing in my experience, I've had plenty of crap jobs - as long as I enjoyed the people I was with, had a good boss or mentor, I lasted through the job and came out better for it.

Surround yourself with people with good attitudes or get inspired by a section leader.  Get to know the rest of the guys around you - you're probably not the only one feeling this way.

Now some cheese - paddling by yourself will only make you go in circles - paddle with someone and you'll go somewheres....


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## tank recce (22 Feb 2007)

PM sent.


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## rz350 (24 Feb 2007)

Don't quit. It make will you miserable as hell. I did it (only from reserves) and every day I feel like a tool and failure for it. Stick it out, you'll be happier in the end, you'll feel like you met your challenge, instead of a tool who pussed out.


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## Praying Mantis (7 Apr 2007)

I felt that way when I left home too. The first couple of weeks were rough; it was my first time away from home, I'd just transferred from PRes to the Regs. Don't worry, if you start looking at it with a different perspective, your feelings might start to change a bit. It's a really good idea, atleast I think so, to complete your three year contract, and make real sure that this is something you really aren't interested in. You've come this far, why quit now? But, that's just my opinion.


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## mysteriousmind (7 Apr 2007)

I would 'kill" to be in your shoes.

I have/had Friends who went away for career matters, and well, at the beginning, we talked to each other often. time flew and we talked less and less. Now? I don't even know what became of him.

Yes you miss your pals. but I'm sure you made new Friends. you have be in a process that even if you go back; thing will never be the same as before you left for BMQ. 

Yes it hard, yes you miss your family, and they probably miss you also. but they have gone with life as you did. think of it. What if you leave and go back home, to suddenly realise that nothing is what you did. 

You cannot determine in a 6 month period if you like it or not...you have to adapt from your high school life to an "adult" life. tons of thing is going to your mind at this moment. some are not so easy to assimilate. You now have a liberty that you did not have home. and when you will get back..you will miss this "liberty".

I personally would not VR after a 6 month period. but I'm not in your shoes. You have your entire life ahead of you. Will you quit every time you think you don't like it? If yes..then you are not finished quiting.

When the going gets tough, The tough gets going. 

Cheer buddy I think its a hard period but you will get over it, you are military material  :warstory:


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## orange.paint (8 Apr 2007)

mysteriousmind said:
			
		

> I personally would not VR after a 6 month period. but I'm not in your shoes. You have your entire life ahead of you. Will you quit every time you think you don't like it? If yes..then you are not finished quiting.
> 
> When the going gets tough, The tough gets going.
> 
> Cheer buddy I think its a hard period but you will get over it, you are military material  :warstory:



What ever.If your not having fun,not enjoying your life it is time to look at other path.How the heck does that make him a quitter?In whom's eyes?Yours?The armys?Frankly If I was getting out I would not be staying up sleepless nightly due to wondering what the army thought (as it only thinks in service numbers and release dates)or a person who hasnt even began their career.

This job is not for everyone.Is the guy who quits toasting buns at McBurger a quitter?Making him a quitter for life?No,and what the heck is the difference.

I have seen guys be totally miserable through a full BE,it makes for a crappy life for them.Why the heck would you do it to yourself?
Personally if I was totally unhappy,I would release and move on to bigger and better things.

Quitter for life?Bit much in my opinion.

My cousin actually quit infantry battle school,hated it and VR'ed.He is now a 37 yr old SSM in a airforce trade,not too shabby for a quitter.


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## Roy Harding (8 Apr 2007)

EX_RCAC_011 said:
			
		

> What ever.If your not having fun,not enjoying your life it is time to look at other path....



That's actually a very good way of looking at things.  I always said "When it stops being fun, I'll stop doing it."  In my case, it stopped being fun in 2003, and I stopped doing it in 2004.

One caveat:  I ALSO always said that I wouldn't make "spur of the moment" decisions.  If I felt like quitting, I'd wait for six months - then check my feelings out again.

There are ALWAYS temporary ups and downs in ANY career, military or civilian.  What is important is that you not react to the temporary discomfort/dissatisfaction inherent in all callings - but to the long term effect.

I'm not sure that someone in Basic (or whatever it's called now) has enough time in to make an informed decision regarding whether it's "fun or not".  I think the angst involved is short term, and needs to be "lived through", and "gotten over".  I think that once you've made the decision, a three year BE is not an unreasonable expectation from the CF, and is not an unreasonable time to give the lifestyle a chance.

I understand that many are miserable during the first year or two of military life - I also understand that many achieve an epiphany within those first few years, and carry on to an impressive and satisfying career after having "stuck it out".

I guess my point is that if you're not "having fun" today, and that's making you miserable, then carry on for a few more weeks or months - it's early in your career to be making decisions based on "having fun" - give it time, if after your first BE you still feel the same way, then don't "re-up" - no one will think lesser of you.

I agree with Ex_RCAC-011 regarding - why should you do it for life?  Where he and I disagree, however, is on whether completing a BE is worthwhile.  I contend it is.

Roy


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## govenor_mac (8 Apr 2007)

Talk to your Padre. The Padre will put you on the right path that is to your best interest. The Padre is the ultimate! I can say he sure helped my son when he was going through a rough time. Please, talk to  him....what have you got to loose?


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## Hunteroffortune (19 May 2007)

I think the name "noone" says a lot about how this poster is feeling about themselves right now. Maybe work towards a name change, like "someone", when you go from "noone" to "someone" your whole attitude will improve.

I have never been in the military, but I remember leaving Wainwright to go to university, I was homesick, but close enough to go home during weekends. This tapered off as I made more friends at university, and as I realized that I had moved on from my high school friends, they stayed home and got married to people they had grown up with, had kids, and I wasn't into that at the time. My family is always with me, only a phone call away, I will never lose contact with them. 

I hope you stick it out, make some new friends and then if you are still unhappy quit, and go to university. I am very familiar with post secondary institutions and the best students are those who have worked for 2 to 3 years before enrolling, they understand what the extra education means in their lives, and appreciate the courses way more than someone fresh out of high school, with no real clue yet about life, and what they really want to do. 

Being bored is not an excuse, it's a state of mind, easily changed by the person who is bored.


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## Fry (3 Jun 2007)

Ok. Lately I haven't been real active on here. I'm coming _*back*_ to the CF this summer/fall, whenever I get a course date for BMQ. 

I went to BMQ, all gungho and ready to take on anything, in October, 2005. After being taken off course for an RC tear (actually ended up being RC tendonitis), I stuck around in PAT for a while. I missed home a little and decided then, it's best for me to come home for treatment and to "further my education". Maybe go to college or do something productive at home....




...... BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. Came home, the new wore off in a day or two, and here I am, 2 years later and finally medically cleared to get back in. I was an idiot ever to consider leaving. I felt so sure of myself at the time and felt really strong on the decision to VR. Really, I should have sucked it up and soldiered on. But I never. Hindsight is 20/20.

Do you really want to go to school for 4-5 years more? You're in the CF now, a fantastic organization. Like previously mentioned everything has it's highs and lows. There'll always be better times and to throw it all away now would be big mistake. When I put in my VR, the Master Seaman sat down with me, took off his beret and said "Fry buddy, I heard the news. Do you really want to throw this all away? We will look after you. There are fun times and there are difficult times with anything, and right now for you to VR, it must be a difficult time for you. What do you have to go home to that's better for YOU than the CF?"

I had nothing. I tried to butter up "nothing" to him, but it was still nothing and we both knew it. I was going home to rural NL, which was dead 20 years ago anyway. I had no job to go home to and I was far too late to apply to school for that year.My CF money banked only lasted me a short time, then it was job hunting.  I moved to the capital and worked at a horrible call center for 10 months. After slaving there, I realized the mistake I had made.

I did get better, but I should have stayed in. For some the CF isn't what they expected it to be, but really, I should have given my country my 5 years instead of running home. You live and you learn.

You may be one of these people for whom the CF just isn't for. However, if you've made it this far, I'm guessing that the CF is infact for you. You've got it made! You're posted! I'm willing to bet there are many at home who dream of the day they get posted. Everyone's different and everyone handles different issues their own way. Take this advice from me, a total stranger. Stick it out. At the end of your contract or whatever duration you have left, you decide that you don't like it, then just leave.


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## GUNS (3 Jun 2007)

Nice post FRY,

For me, military life was the only way to go. I would not be able to offer advice to someone who wants out. I just don't know why anyone would want to VR. 
I credit the military for getting me to where I am today. The Army Cadets started my confidence and leadership training. The Reserves expanded that training and gave me experience. The Reg. Forces allowed me to put all that previous training to work. 
I learned man management skills(useful on civvy street). It allowed me to develop my confidence level(useful on civvy street). I learned Leadership skills(useful on civvy street). I acquired the ability to work with others, be a team player(useful on civvy street).
 After a career in the military, I put all that the Forces had to offer me to work on civvy street. 
I had no difficulty in getting a job and was never without a paycheque(*because of my military background*). 
I always advanced up the promotion ladder(*because of my military background*). 
Confidence, Leadership, Man Management, Team Player, all on the military's dollar. 
No, I would not be able to offer advice to someone who wants out.


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