# Will Canada be invaded for its' water?



## deltahotel (14 Jun 2006)

I believe that Canada has the most freash water on earth. Freash water is running low for some countrys. If shortage progresses those and new countrys well look to us for the water they need. And if we dont let them have it, they'll try and take it by force.


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## Ex-Dragoon (14 Jun 2006)

I thought the Antarctic had the most freshwater?

BTW whats the point of your post?


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## Fishbone Jones (14 Jun 2006)

Here's a hint. Next time compose your post in Word. Then you can spell and grammar check it before you cut and paste it for a post. Right now it makes about as much sense as your premise, which is none. You're free to use conjecture as much as you wish, but don't make definitive statements, especially when you can't back them up.

Go read the guidelines before posting again.


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## paracowboy (14 Jun 2006)

deltahotel said:
			
		

> I believe that Canada has the most freash water on earth. Freash water is running low for some countrys. If shortage progresses those and new countrys well look to us for the water they need. And if we dont let them have it, they'll try and take it by force.


we have far more call to fear invasion for our Maple Syrup. If worse comes to worst, we can always just import more Evian.


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## George Wallace (14 Jun 2006)

A couple of things for you to think about first in the way of this Topic "well Canada be invaded for its water?"......I hope you don't mind if I correct your spelling in the Title?

Two:  Have you thought of Antarctica?  Look at all that ice down there.  Just as we have companies 'harvesting' ice in the Arctic, I am sure many thirsty nations can do the same in the South.  

Three:  In the South; South America, there are many rivers and lakes and very little population.  Don't you think that this may be a resource that some of those poorer nations could capitalize on?

Four:  Many wealthy Middle Eastern countries have large desalination plants to take in sea water and make it drinkable.


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## GAP (14 Jun 2006)

paracowboy said:
			
		

> we have far more call to fear invasion for our Maple Syrup. If worse comes to worst, we can always just import more Evian.



Evian backwards is* Naive*  ;D


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## George Wallace (14 Jun 2006)

Yup!

Four Mods in two minutes......You are on the radar.


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## Ex-Dragoon (14 Jun 2006)

I think the Aliens are coming in their big spaceships now


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## GAP (14 Jun 2006)

Can we ask O'Connor to ask them if they have any used ones we could buy????  ;D (we've looked at everything else)


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## Enzo (14 Jun 2006)

Ex-Dragoon said:
			
		

> I think the Aliens are coming in their big spaceships now



Princess Karina's intergalactic forces may be coming for our water now, unless Jason and his Ice Pirates can save us  ;D

Originator of this thread (I didn't bother to remember your name), you need to read more, post less (cough* troll*) and give your head a shake.


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## Jake (14 Jun 2006)

> Many wealthy Middle Eastern countries have large desalination plants to take in sea water and make it drinkable.



I'm pretty sure the Americans have them too (Saw it on T.V)


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## GAP (14 Jun 2006)

You mean the big round white domes on the California sea shore???? shoot..here I thought it was a golf ball on steroids


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## Old Guy (14 Jun 2006)

paracowboy,

Haven't you ever heard of OPSEC, man?
Now the timetable for Operation Maple Grab will have to be moved up.
General Rove is pissed.

Uh -- is this a secure line?


Jim


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## len173 (14 Jun 2006)

I'm not sure if i should comment on stupidity, spelling, pointlessness....anyone else confused aswell?


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## big bad john (14 Jun 2006)

This is pointless and quite funny.  Is he for real?


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## Haggis (14 Jun 2006)

Old Guy said:
			
		

> Now the timetable for Operation Maple Grab will have to be moved up.
> General Rove is pissed.


"Generally" pissed?  Or is it something specific?
 ;D


			
				big bad john said:
			
		

> This is pointless and quite funny.  Is he for real?



Yes, General Rove is for real.  How dare you ask such a question!  :


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## zipperhead_cop (15 Jun 2006)

deltahotel said:
			
		

> I believe that Canada has the most freash water on earth. Freash water is running low for some countrys. If shortage progresses those and new countrys well look to us for the water they need. And if we dont let them have it, they'll try and take it by force.



Mr. Costner, give it up.  There will be no sequel to Waterworld.


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## GAP (15 Jun 2006)

There goes my fantasy!!  :


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## Pea (15 Jun 2006)

I'm sorry.. the title drew me in. I've heard "will canada be invaded for its....everything" pretty much, but WATER? Wow, this guy should get a prize.


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## ReadyandWilling (15 Jun 2006)

zipperhead_cop said:
			
		

> Mr. Costner, give it up.  There will be no sequel to Waterworld.


  HAHA


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## ark (15 Jun 2006)

What if other countries put fluoride in our water ? Lets launch our b52s on those commies before it happens.


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## a_majoor (15 Jun 2006)

On the odd chance that someone is taking this seriously, the economics of transporting water (a bulky and inert substance) makes this a non starter.

It is far easier to desalinate brackish or sea water on the spot, or even "recycle" grey and black water (look those terms up), than to transport water vast distances. Even going a few hundred miles by pipeline is often fraught with difficulty. By far the best way to go is to use the market to set the supply and demand for water. Israel has both the climate and standard of living of California, but their per capita water usage is @ 1/5 of that of California. Mind you, agriculture in California (and much of the US and Canada too) is subsidized, in California to the ridiculous extent that it is possible to grow lettuce in the desert and sell it for a "profit" (as long as you don't take into account the taxpayers who are buying all the irrigation water for you). In Israel, agriculture is not subsidized to such a marked extent, so farmers use "drip irrigation" and tend to grow crops better adapted to the environment.

Now if Canadians (notorious wasters of water) paid free market prices for water, after the howls of outrage died down you would see some pretty radical adjustments to the way we use water.


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## Old Sweat (15 Jun 2006)

Art

You missed the obvious solution to transporting water, either freeze dry or dehydrate it. That would reduce the bulk and weight considerably.


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## Danjanou (15 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> There goes my fantasy!!  :



Your fantasy involves Kevin Kostner?


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## GAP (15 Jun 2006)

Already doing that with shrouding icebergs and then towing to a country...shroud allows controled melting once in place..


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## GAP (15 Jun 2006)

Danjanou said:
			
		

> Your fantasy involves Kevin Kostner?


you are seriously disturbed. ..have you been having these ....um...dreams long???? ;D


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## Journeyman (15 Jun 2006)

Old Sweat said:
			
		

> You missed the obvious solution to transporting water, either freeze dry or dehydrate it. That would reduce the bulk and weight considerably.


_Clearly_, the solution is to boil it. The steam rises....simply bag it into a bunch of hot-air balloons, and sail it to market like a dirigible. Why, you could even sell it in its boiled state for tea-drinkers! 

Sometimes I think so many smart thoughts, my brain hurts....maybe this hat needs some more tinfoil


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## Haggis (15 Jun 2006)

Old Sweat said:
			
		

> You missed the obvious solution to transporting water, either freeze dry or dehydrate it. That would reduce the bulk and weight considerably.



Many young and inexperienced soldiers have attempted to carry dehydrated water during ruck marches etc.  It works well.  All you need to re-hydrate it is to add, ummm, water.


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## ReadyandWilling (15 Jun 2006)

Haha, we could sell dehydrated water to other countries, our make a big ad campaign and then just ou directions on the bottom"just add water" we could make millions.


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## zipperhead_cop (15 Jun 2006)

OH GOD, THAT IS IT!!!  They aren't trying to build an oil pipeline in Afghanistan, it's a WATER pipeline!!  We are being puppets of the American empire building machine that is Brita!!  And George Bush drinks water too!!  What is wrong with you people?!?!?  Wake up before it is too late!
NO BLOOD FOR WATER 
NO BLOOD FOR WATER


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## George Wallace (15 Jun 2006)

Haggis said:
			
		

> Many young and inexperienced soldiers have attempted to carry dehydrated water during ruck marches etc.  It works well.  All you need to re-hydrate it is to add, ummm, water.



We can double our profits if we also market air.  We can can it and market it as 100% Pure Canadian Beef.... um Air.


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## Danjanou (15 Jun 2006)

ReadyandWilling said:
			
		

> Haha, we could sell dehydrated water to other countries, our make a big ad campaign and then just ou directions on the bottom"just add water" we could make millions.



Naah in order to get the Fed grant money and/or export lic. We'd have to put the add water instructions in both official languages and that would eat into the profits. We could still make thousands though.


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## GAP (15 Jun 2006)

Danjanou said:
			
		

> Naah in order to get the Fed grant money and/or export lic. We'd have to put the add water instructions in both official languages and that would eat into the profits. We could still make thousands though.



Would we have to market 2 types?? One organic and one standard, Toronto flavour???


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## ReadyandWilling (15 Jun 2006)

Danjanou said:
			
		

> Naah in order to get the Fed grant money and/or export lic. We'd have to put the add water instructions in both official languages and that would eat into the profits. We could still make thousands though.


We also have to worry about the diets people go on that are against drinking water, and will have to make a diet water. I dunno wheather that will boost sales or bring them down.


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## Michael OLeary (15 Jun 2006)

So, can we assume this whole GWOT thing is just a distraction, and they're going to sneak up and steal our water while we're busy over there?

Save water, drink whisky neat.


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## ReadyandWilling (15 Jun 2006)

Finnaly someone has figured out the conspiracy, good work Michael. All our trrops are going to Afghanistan so that hey can coem in while our guard is down and steal or water, I bet it is the Americans, we know how much they love water. Hmm.... it appears a black suburban just pulled up outside, I wonder who it could be?


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## GAP (15 Jun 2006)

Michael O'Leary said:
			
		

> So, can we assume this whole GWOT thing is just a distraction, and they're going to sneak up and steal our water while we're busy over there?
> 
> Save water, drink whisky neat.



So your saying this isn't going ahead after all...I was half-way through designing the banners....One set for Water (dehydrated and frozen) one set for Air (organic and Toronto flavour), and you guys come up with silly stuff like diet water, sheesh, ....well back to the drawing boards. This is not really a distraction....tell me so ???


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## Haggis (15 Jun 2006)

ReadyandWilling said:
			
		

> Finnaly someone has figured out the conspiracy, good work Michael. All our trrops are going to Afghanistan so that hey can coem in while our guard is down and steal or water, I bet it is the Americans, we know how much they love water. Hmm.... it appears a black suburban just pulled up outside, I wonder who it could be?



You're drinking something other than water, aren't you...... ;D


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## Michael OLeary (15 Jun 2006)

They can't steal my water if they can't find it with their black helicopter sensors, I better get my tin foil bucket.


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## ReadyandWilling (15 Jun 2006)

Haggis said:
			
		

> You're drinking something other than water, aren't you...... ;D



I wish. Today would go so much faster.
I love how this guy came up with a serious question and then got ripped apart for grammar, then we just make fun of his stupid idea now.  . I Love Army.ca



			
				GAP said:
			
		

> So your saying this isn't going ahead after all...I was half-way through designing the banners....One set for Water (dehydrated and frozen) one set for Air (organic and Toronto flavour), and you guys come up with silly stuff like diet water, sheesh, ....well back to the drawing boards. This is not really a distraction....tell me so ???


No, its all good, keep working on the banners.


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## GAP (15 Jun 2006)

Sigh...thank you....thank you...You'll be happy..happy    ;D


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## Franko (15 Jun 2006)

They can't be allowed to taint our precious fluids......    ;D







Regards


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## zipperhead_cop (15 Jun 2006)

I don't suppose it bears mentioning that all of the great lakes, except Lake Michigan, border our countries?  Can't see too good a reason for an invasion when you can just run a hose.  
Maybe that is the plan!  We better get to putting up a wall along the middle of the waterways to retain our Canadian water.   If they want to squander theirs, then they will have to go thirsty.  
HAHAHAH!  Stick it to the Man!

(I don't recon DH will be back any time soon.  You people are a cruel bunch of bastards  :blotto


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## vangemeren (15 Jun 2006)

zipperhead_cop said:
			
		

> ...Maybe that is the plan!  We better get to putting up a wall along the middle of the waterways to retain our Canadian water.   If they want to squander theirs, then they will have to go thirsty.
> HAHAHAH!  Stick it to the Man! ...



There's only one flaw in your ingenious plan... You have to stop the water cycle. Water would evapourate from our side and rain on their side of the wall. To solve this problem, you would have to build the walls higher than the clouds, or even make a glass bubble, so we can keep our air too. :blotto:


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## zipperhead_cop (15 Jun 2006)

van Gemeren said:
			
		

> There's only one flaw in your ingenious plan... You have to stop the water cycle. Water would evapourate from our side and rain on their side of the wall. To solve this problem, you would have to build the walls higher than the clouds, or even make a glass bubble, so we can keep our air too. :blotto:



Hey, as long as Bombardier gets the no-bid contract, no one will complain.   :-X


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## GAP (15 Jun 2006)

ReadyandWilling said:
			
		

> No, its all good, keep working on the banners.




My advertising campaign is ready!!!!  8)


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## vangemeren (15 Jun 2006)

Did you get Mike's permission to advertise on this site? 

He might want a cut of your lucrative business plan.


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## GAP (15 Jun 2006)

I'll offer him water or air coins !!!  ;D


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## Old Sweat (15 Jun 2006)

How about we market Bobbit Springs Dehydrated Water?


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## GAP (15 Jun 2006)

Now that I really like!!!!


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## George Wallace (15 Jun 2006)

Old Sweat said:
			
		

> How about we market Bobbit Springs Dehydrated Water?



Is that bottled sweat?  Sort of sounds like it.


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## I_Drive_Planes (15 Jun 2006)

George Wallace said:
			
		

> Is that bottled sweat?  Sort of sounds like it.



With the right marketing it wouldn't matter, it would become trendy and then you could triple the price!

Planes


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## Shec (15 Jun 2006)

The ideal beverage to wash down a meal of soylent green


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## Hot Lips (15 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> I'll offer him water or air coins !!!  ;D


  :rofl:

http://www.mindfully.org/Water/Exporting-Fresh-Water.htm  :

Hey by the looks of this article...I want shares GAP...lmao

HL


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## Pearson (15 Jun 2006)

All right now... this it getting silly..... move along




(from left to right)
You there......Gap, go get some clothes to match that tie......

Hot Lips.....nice dress, may I suggest a nice bag by Dolce & Gabbana to match that? Move along now..

Journeyman, your scientific experiments should have stopped when you failed to  bring that parrot back from the dead, but bagging steam...my god man, have you gone mad!!??

Oh sorry Para, did not see you here supervising, I see you came prepared for the flood.

Mr. O'Leary, while whiskey "neat" may "jive" with that jacket you are wearing, most of us civilized Canadians drink beer, and oh yes, get a haircut.


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## marshall sl (15 Jun 2006)

Any one see this?
H2O
Available on DVD at amazon.ca

H2O is a gripping two-part political thriller that premiered on Sunday 31 Oct 2004 on CBC Television, and concluded the following night. This four-hour mini-series was a major event in CBC Television’s season, and was one of the most controversial dramas ever telecast to Canadian audiences. 

    

Paul Gross starred as the prime minister of Canada; the lineup of co-stars included Leslie Hope, Guy Nadon, Martha Henry, Gordon Pinsent, Callum Keith Rennie, David Boutin, Michael Murphy, Kenneth Welsh, Louise Portal, Jeff Seymour, Tantoo Cardinal, Nancy Palk, Diego Matamoros, Peter MacNeill, and Barry Flatman. 

    

Written by Paul Gross and John Krizanc, H2O goes into high gear immediately when the prime minister dies in a canoeing accident. His son, played by Gross, takes over as Canada’s new prime minister. The story takes audiences into a scenario of intrigue that leads deeper and deeper into an increasingly malevolent world where hidden agendas, betrayal and murder all lead to a dénouement that will leave viewers breathless. H2O is a cautionary thriller about Canada’s destiny.



H20 was executive produced by Paul Gross (Men With Brooms, due South) and Frank Siracusa of Whizbang Films Inc, and was directed by Charles Binamé. It was produced in association with the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, Telefilm Canada, the Canadian Television Fund, CBC International and COGECO Program Development Fund. 

Read more on CBC Television's official H2O page 

    

"The biggest influence was British stuff like The House of Cards and A Very British Coup. The British have a richer tradition of making backroom skulduggery engaging." PAUL GROSS Maclean's

"Paul Gross has brought Mounties, curling and a Stratford-like theatre company to the screen - not in a lame patriotic way, but cleverly, and with playful pride. The latest challenge this triple-threat writer/producer/actor has created for himself is getting TV viewers to buy into a Canadian political thriller centred around the nation's water supply. In the two-part, four-hour CBC miniseries H2O, the prime minister dies in a canoe accident. His son, played by Gross, is a charmer with ulterior motives who gives an eloquent, country-unifying eulogy and is swept into office. Trudeau comparisons intended." SHANDA DEZIEL Maclean's

"Episode one of the miniseries, in which Gross plays the son of a Canadian prime minister who dies under suspicious circumstances, attracted 908,000 viewers when it premiered Oct. 31 at 8 p.m. Costarring Gordon Pinsent, Callum Keith Rennie and Martha Henry, the final episode aired Nov. 1, when 927,000 viewers tuned in, according to overnight figures." LAURA BRACKEN Playback

PaulGross.org is not owned or operated by Paul Gross or his representatives. If you are unhappy about anything you see here, or you have technical problems with the site, please contact us.


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## Hot Lips (15 Jun 2006)

"Episode one of the miniseries, in which Gross plays the son of a Canadian prime minister who dies under suspicious circumstances, attracted* 908,000 * viewers when it premiered Oct. 31 at 8 p.m. Costarring Gordon Pinsent, Callum Keith Rennie and Martha Henry, the final episode aired Nov. 1, when 927,000 viewers tuned in, according to overnight figures." LAURA BRACKEN Playback

That's just because Paul Gross was in it  ;D
had nothing to do with the content

HL


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## Harris (15 Jun 2006)

We could freeze the water and ship it in with all the alcohol we export. If the price goes really high we could just....drink it and smuggle it across the border, "deposit" it a bit later, filter it and make a killing.


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## Journeyman (15 Jun 2006)

Frankie said:
			
		

> Journeyman, your scientific experiments should have stopped when you failed to  bring that parrot back from the dead, but bagging steam...my god man, have you gone mad!!??



The parrot...was....just...SLEEPING! Dammit.

(now, can you imagine how this thread may have gone if it had been down in the Mess/Radio Chatter, rather than up here amongst the _serious_ discussions    )


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## paracowboy (15 Jun 2006)

Journeyman said:
			
		

> (now, can you imagine how this thread may have gone if it had been down in the Mess/Radio Chatter, rather than up here amongst the _serious_ discussions


para looks up at top of thread, looks at Journeyman, looks up at top of thread, walks away shaking head and mumbling something derogatory about elderly Ossifer types...


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## Journeyman (15 Jun 2006)

Sorry...it's the medications. It didn't _start_ down here....honest.   :brickwall:


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## Haggis (15 Jun 2006)

Seriously folks.

C'mon.  I mean it!  Seriously!

The only reason the U.S. would want our water is because we use Canadian water to make Canadian beer.  Imagine if Anhauser Busch got hold of some real Canadian water.

Seriously.

Work with me here.


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## Franko (15 Jun 2006)

Geesh......one poorly worded post with a few spelling mistakes.....

and now we're up to what, 62 posts?!

Crazy.......ROTFLMAO.

 :rofl:

Regards


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## purple peguin (15 Jun 2006)

Water is best served cold, but i think Canada will not be invaded.





Mod note: *inappropriate jpeg.....that's a free-bee*.


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## vangemeren (15 Jun 2006)

Recce By Death said:
			
		

> Geesh......one poorly worded post with a few spelling mistakes.....
> 
> and now we're up to what, 62 posts?!
> 
> ...



That means this thread has gone and become a JTF (Just Too Funny) Thread. I call them that because any thread about JTF-2 ends up being a Gong-show. Therefore any thread that turns out like that should be labeled a JTF thread, even if it isn't about JTF-2


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## GAP (15 Jun 2006)

I think my water idea has been diluted...... I'm going back to conspiracy theory marketing....


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## Koenigsegg (16 Jun 2006)

It is said that in 50 to 100 years water will be a much needed resource for many nations.  and we have the most of it.  So, if the speculation is correct, and in 50 to 100 years wars are fought over water, we would be a prime target.

nothing proven though, just scientists, politicians and Military people looking to the future, trying to see what may come.


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## George Wallace (16 Jun 2006)

Let's see.....I'll be just a few years over 100 or 125 by then.......I suppose I can wait to say "I told you so; just like Global Warming, eh!, young fella?"


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## a_majoor (16 Jun 2006)

In 50-100 years the Space Patrol will be bringing in ice from Saturn's rings or the moons of Jupiter. Of course, after reentry it will be very hot water........


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## paracowboy (16 Jun 2006)

a_majoor said:
			
		

> In 50-100 years the Space Patrol will be bringing in ice from Saturn's rings or the moons of Jupiter. Of course, after reentry it will be very hot water........


so we sell tea!


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## Journeyman (16 Jun 2006)

a_majoor said:
			
		

> Of course, after reentry it will be very hot water........


I _knew_ it...NASA bastards are stealing my steam idea ALREADY!


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## Haggis (16 Jun 2006)

This thread is still alive?  Wow!  



			
				Journeyman said:
			
		

> I _knew_ it...NASA bastards are stealing my steam idea ALREADY!



That's just the beginning.  Wait until NASA claims you stole it from them!  Remember, NASA and the NSA are one and the same.  "North *American* Security Agency". 

You really gotta read up on stuff, JM.  You're falling behind.



			
				a_majoor said:
			
		

> In 50-100 years the Space Patrol will be bringing in ice from Saturn's rings or the moons of Jupiter.



Arthur:  Who do you think funds Space Patrol?  Where do you think the money really comes from?  MIB, I tell ya!


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## GAP (16 Jun 2006)

a_majoor said:
			
		

> In 50-100 years the Space Patrol will be bringing in ice from Saturn's rings or the moons of Jupiter. Of course, after reentry it will be very hot water........



Can we charge extra for hot water...delivered???


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## Old Guy (16 Jun 2006)

Note to General Rove:

The Joke Post Gambit worked to a charm.  Those crazy Canucks are discussing all sorts of silly plans to export water, dehydrate water, get water from Saturn, etc.  Operation Water Grab can proceed as planned.

Secret agent Old Guy

PS: Notify the Space Patrol that their hot water delivery scheme has been blown.


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## Michael OLeary (16 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> Can we charge extra for hot water...delivered???



Charging for rain, that's brilliant.  We'll follow that with the oxygen use surtax.


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## FormerHorseGuard (16 Jun 2006)

i think i actually read some where that there was some serious thoughts about wars being fought over water.
I also read that  russia has the most fresh water sources.

there have been wars over some very strange things in the last 200 years and I am sure in the future there will be wars over other strange things.
war for oil, war to turn public attention from bad life at home go invade some southern islands no one cared about, ask the Brits they were not amused. 

so a war for water is something maybe here in Canada we do not have to worry about yet, but look at the countries in the middle east who share the various rivers and building of dams up and down the river to control the flow, dam the river and block flow to another country could start a heated debate that  turns to gun fire. i am sure it will happen


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## Shec (16 Jun 2006)

> so a war for water is something maybe here in Canada we do not have to worry about yet, but look at the countries in the middle east who share the various rivers and building of dams up and down the river to control the flow, dam the river and block flow to another country could start a heated debate that  turns to gun fire. i am sure it will happen



It already has.

One of the provocations leading to the 1967 Six Day War was Syrian attempts to divert the Golan Heights headwaters of the Jordan River,  thereby threatening to ultimately lower the Sea of Gallilee and drying up Israel's national water carrier system which feeds from it.


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## Centurian1985 (16 Jun 2006)

Although the post is quite pointless, this is not the first time Ive heard the crackpot theory of Canada being invaded and taken over for it's water.  First heard of this from anarchist and anti-world government groups about ten years ago.  

Makes as much sense now as it did then! Next I'll be expecting the senate to propose a new 'Water Preservation and Policing Force'. 







BTW, some hilarious comments being made here, love the references to Dr. Strangelove and Monty Python!  Keep up the good work!


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## paracowboy (16 Jun 2006)

FormerHorseGuard said:
			
		

> war for oil,


 :



> war to turn public attention from bad life at home go invade some southern islands no one cared about


  : :


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## scm77 (16 Jun 2006)

What about diluted water for people who can't handle the full strength kind?


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## GAP (16 Jun 2006)

Yeah, but how would you dehydrate it???


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## purple peguin (16 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> Yeah, but how would you dehydrate it???



Microwave


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## Shec (16 Jun 2006)

> Yeah, but how would you dehydrate it???



With a modified do-it-yourself food dehdrator:

http://www.dryit.com/images/dryerdisplay2.jpg


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## GAP (16 Jun 2006)

Didn't we have a suggestion here about converting it to steam and selling it that way? Maybe we could use the steam process and call it Lite-Deydrated-Water.


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## a_majoor (16 Jun 2006)

Don't forget we can also sell heavy water for people who like that rich, full bodied taste......


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## GAP (16 Jun 2006)

OOOOh...that's a little too rich and definetly "full bodied" !! If it is preused, we could guarantee them XXX years employment as a night light .


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## Journeyman (17 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> Didn't we have a suggestion here about converting it to steam and selling it that way?


We had a _brilliant_ suggestion about converting it to steam, bagging it into a bunch of hot-air balloons so that it could be sailed, dirigible-like, to marked. Simply brilliant.


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## GAP (17 Jun 2006)

Your suggestion, huh??? ;D


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## George Wallace (17 Jun 2006)

Journeyman said:
			
		

> We had a _brilliant_ suggestion about converting it to steam, bagging it into a bunch of hot-air balloons so that it could be sailed, dirigible-like, to marked. Simply brilliant.



How do these Hot-air Balloons go about chasing and catching the Steam?   Would they have specially constructed plastic bags that they would haul like fishing trawlers? 

Would the delivery range of the Dirigibles be related to the formula of the Steam cooling rate, over the weight of the water as ballast divided by the speed of the Dirigible over the Altitude times the rate of descent factoring the Air Temp at that time or year.  Of course we would have outside factors to consider, such as direction and speed of the Jet Stream, whether or not it is a full moon or a solar eclipse, is it Daylight Savings Time, etc.  

Could steam driven engines on the Dirigibles, be used to perpetuate the steam that they carry or keep it in the 'steam' state, to further the range of delivery?

Would these Dirigibles be able to haul freight on the return trip?  Empty Dirigibles are not economically sound business practices.


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## CdnArtyWife (17 Jun 2006)

George Wallace said:
			
		

> How do these Hot-air Balloons go about chasing and catching the Steam?   Would they have specially constructed plastic bags that they would haul like fishing trawlers?
> 
> Would the delivery range of the Dirigibles be related to the formula of the Steam cooling rate, over the weight of the water as ballast divided by the speed of the Dirigible over the Altitude times the rate of descent factoring the Air Temp at that time or year.  Of course we would have outside factors to consider, such as direction and speed of the Jet Stream, whether or not it is a full moon or a solar eclipse, is it Daylight Savings Time, etc.
> 
> ...



Evidence of FAR too much time on your hands.

Though I do believe the whole thing would go over like a Lead Zeplin. ;D


----------



## Journeyman (17 Jun 2006)

:-[  I'll just leave the minor details to the techies - - I'm more of a..._concepts_ sort of guy.....ya, that's it


----------



## GAP (17 Jun 2006)

George Wallace said:
			
		

> How do these Hot-air Balloons go about chasing and catching the Steam?   Would they have specially constructed plastic bags that they would haul like fishing trawlers?
> 
> (In 50-100 years the Space Patrol will be bringing in ice from Saturn's rings or the moons of Jupiter. Of course, after reentry it will be very hot water........)[/size





			
				George Wallace said:
			
		

> ][size=10pt] Now where do you think they got their OJT?? Huh…huh?





			
				George Wallace said:
			
		

> Would the delivery range of the Dirigibles be related to the formula of the Steam cooling rate, over the weight of the water as ballast divided by the speed of the Dirigible over the Altitude times the rate of descent factoring the Air Temp at that time or year.  Of course we would have outside factors to consider, such as direction and speed of the Jet Stream, whether or not it is a full moon or a solar eclipse, is it Daylight Savings Time, etccolor].
> 
> [size=10pt] (details…details…your trying to cloud the issue!! We got to the moon didn’t we…and we didn’t even have to leave the Earth !!)[/[/size]Could steam driven engines on the Dirigibles, be used to perpetuate the steam that they carry or keep it in the 'steam' state, to further the range of delivery? (Why would you use up a valuable resource?? Simply use the magnetic field effect of planetary motion…duh )
> 
> ...


----------



## a_majoor (17 Jun 2006)

GAP, that isn't.........water......in your glass............is it?


----------



## GAP (17 Jun 2006)

sic....goldarn right is is...pure sweet.....vo...water


----------



## Michael OLeary (17 Jun 2006)

> $15,000,000 for irrigation systems my ***…it’s a water pipeline!!



Now I'm really confused, are we planning to pump water into, or out of, that desert country?

What's the commander's intent? Hopefully the Bilderberg group will release the notes of their recent conference to clear this up.

I hate a poorly defined conspiracy theory.  It just leads to wild ass guesses and conjecture from the tin foil shielded minions of the resistance.


----------



## GAP (17 Jun 2006)

Excuse me, but your tinfoil is inside out. 

The pipeline is for neither in nor out. It is just to be there. There may come a time when we have to use it, and like any good old porkbarrel, it should be available. This new pipeline will run roughly parallel to our Area51a we are  creating in the the Panjway District. We are getting some minor objections to the idea, but we will have those all cleared out shortly...meanwhile, the pipeline will be able to pump water from point A to point B. Why would you export such a valuable commodity, and the import taxes would be too high, so we will just go from A to B. See...it's simple if someone explains it.....right?


----------



## Michael OLeary (17 Jun 2006)

How nice, we're installing a water feature.


----------



## Old Sweat (17 Jun 2006)

As the originator of the dehydrated water theory, I think it shoulld be explored further. For example, can we send it as an email attachment or must it be physically delivered, say as a pill with the notation 'add water and stir'?


----------



## GAP (17 Jun 2006)

Ah...but that's the real conspiracy....it only looks like a water feature!!

We are supporting the entrance of a whole sheaf of Afghans to enter the 2010 Olympics in the Salom and Downhill to prove our support is paying off. See...you gotta look at things long term...huh?  People, especially Vancouverites, have a real need to see us succeeding in Afghanistan.....and BY GOSH we'll show them some REAL success !!!  won't we ???


----------



## GAP (17 Jun 2006)

Old Sweat said:
			
		

> As the originator of the dehydrated water theory, I think it shoulld be explored further. For example, can we send it as an email attachment or must it be physically delivered, say as a pill with the notation 'add water and stir'?



Virtual 3D dehydrated water.....love it


----------



## George Wallace (17 Jun 2006)

I don't know?  Water and Electrical devices and circuits just don't mix.  Suppose someone developed a virus that would corrupt the sequencing of the Water Attachment in an Electronic format and it should take on its' liquid state in mid transmission?  That would really put a damper on things.


----------



## GAP (17 Jun 2006)

Ever hear of the Electric eel? How many do you see electrocuting themselves...I'm sure if the right approach is make to their Grand Visar, he would share the secret. Failing that, we could mount super absorbant sponges on a PCI Slot .


----------



## Hot Lips (17 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> Virtual 3D dehydrated water.....love it


LMAO
I am actually reading this...that's what's the most amusing.

HL


----------



## Michael OLeary (17 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> Virtual 3D dehydrated water.....love it



Now we need a to warn people about the inevitable Nigerian dehydrated water e-mail scam.


----------



## GAP (17 Jun 2006)

Michael O'Leary said:
			
		

> Now we need a to warn people about the inevitable Nigerian dehydrated water e-mail scam.



Can't we set up the properties to go through an If statement to handle these....that way if it is successful it can only be paid out in Air or Water Coins.


----------



## George Wallace (17 Jun 2006)

Would we have to set up a special Police unit in our Diamond Mines up north to ensure that no one tried to smuggle out frozen water with a shipment of Diamonds?


----------



## GAP (17 Jun 2006)

That works for the Diamond shipments, but how are we going to control those Beluga? They throw water, especially dehydrated water, around willy nilly...silly buggers, just won't listen...they just nudge you, smile and scree...

The north is going to present real problems....between the Beluga and their white furry friends, security is going to be tough.  Neither one is going to want us warming things up enough to make steam for dehydrated water carrying blimps, and the tree huggers will be out in full force complaining about destruction of habitat and all that.   Nope, what's need is ....




a better idea


----------



## zipperhead_cop (17 Jun 2006)

As we are now fully realizing the full value of water, and its exploitable extensive value to the world, unfortunately it just can't be squandered on animals and sea life.  Hence forth, all animals should be fitted with Dune style still-suits and retain their own water from now on.  Fish, well, they may need to go.  FOR SURE, we wax all the whales, since they've been bogarting the water all this time.  
Tough times call for tough measures.


----------



## GAP (17 Jun 2006)

Can't we keep the little itsy bitsy pretty ones...?  huh...huh/.....



> FOR SURE, we wax all the whales, since they've been bogarting the water all this time.


 Sooo that's who's doing it!!


----------



## GAP (17 Jun 2006)

I kinda hesitate ....well, not much.... to mention this.... but we are creating a problem. If we go ahead with the  Dune style still-suits  and wax all the fishys, we now have all this water for ourselves. But, once we've dehydrated everything and transported it all, what are we going to do with the ..... salt?


----------



## Michael OLeary (17 Jun 2006)

Add lemon, and tequila, problem solved.


----------



## GAP (17 Jun 2006)

Ah...rimming...I knew I was in a class bunch   ;D


----------



## zipperhead_cop (17 Jun 2006)

Sell the salt separately, as an accessory to "water" and market it as "ocean-style water mix".  What is the link for the patent office?


----------



## GAP (17 Jun 2006)

zipperhead_cop said:
			
		

> Sell the salt separately, as an accessory to "water" and market it as "ocean-style water mix".  What is the link for the patent office?


 that would entail having instructions to open Packet A then add Packet A contents to Packet B, add water, stir,,,,little complicated NO? 

Besides that's really going to chew into the Ceasar market. Right now they use those little umbrellas, mexican hats, etc to top off a drink...now my idea, (and this is why I wanted to keep some of the little itsy bitsy fishys) was  to have them swim around in the Ceasar...it's the same water it came from..... and you get added protein too!!


----------



## Michael OLeary (17 Jun 2006)

a_majoor said:
			
		

> In 50-100 years the Space Patrol will be bringing in ice from Saturn's rings or the moons of Jupiter. Of course, after reentry it will be very hot water........



I have some concerns with this plan.  Bringing in massive amount of space ice will add to the planet's mass, has anyone calculated the effects of this on the earth's rotation and the length of the year?  How do we ensure that this water is not resold, thus undercutting the market for new water? ... water flea markets ... water sales on e-bay .....  The proposed entry of space ice/water into the atmosphere will, as noted, create massive amounts of heat as the kinetic energy of the moving mass of water is converted to thermal energy and converts the ice to steam.  This will result in a net addition to the global ecosphere of thermal energy, potentially increasing the pace of global warning, hastening the melting of the ice caps and creating a water surplus.   Space water is a self-defeating plan.  And, one more, how will we 'brand' our water so it's not confused with the low-grade sweat shop water imported by the big corporations?


----------



## zipperhead_cop (17 Jun 2006)

Michael O'Leary said:
			
		

> I have some concerns with this plan.  Bringing in massive amount of space ice will add to the planet's mass, has anyone calculated the effects of this on the earth's rotation and the length of the year?  How do we ensure that this water is not resold, thus undercutting the market for new water? ... water flea markets ... water sales on e-bay .....  The proposed entry of space ice/water into the atmosphere will, as noted, create massive amounts of heat as the kinetic energy of the moving mass of water is converted to thermal energy and converts the ice to steam.  This will result in a net addition to the global ecosphere of thermal energy, potentially increasing the pace of global warning, hastening the melting of the ice caps and creating a water surplus.   Space water is a self-defeating plan.  And, one more, how will we 'brand' our water so it's not confused with the low-grade sweat shop water imported by the big corporations?



But if we don't import space ice, the we won't be able to recover Jesus' disabled space craft, thaw him out and resurrect him (again) and hence bring the Second Coming.  
Gawd.  Nay-sayers are such a downer.


----------



## Michael OLeary (17 Jun 2006)

Conspiracy theories in layers upon layers, and here I was thinking it was all about the third gunman and where was the thin Elvis hidden.


----------



## GAP (17 Jun 2006)

Michael O'Leary said:
			
		

> I have some concerns with this plan.  Bringing in massive amount of space ice will add to the planet's mass, has anyone calculated the effects of this on the earth's rotation and the length of the year?  How do we ensure that this water is not resold, thus undercutting the market for new water? ... water flea markets ... water sales on e-bay .....  The proposed entry of space ice/water into the atmosphere will, as noted, create massive amounts of heat as the kinetic energy of the moving mass of water is converted to thermal energy and converts the ice to steam.  This will result in a net addition to the global ecosphere of thermal energy, potentially increasing the pace of global warning, hastening the melting of the ice caps and creating a water surplus.   Space water is a self-defeating plan.  And, one more, how will we 'brand' our water so it's not confused with the low-grade sweat shop water imported by the big corporations?



one little point....who got all the OJT capturing the steam and towing the dirables? The Space Patrol...right? Why the Space Patrol  are already in our pocket. We've kept them is fluids for 50-100 years...now's time for payback
will get back to you on the other points...time to rebalance my tinfoil hat to the ether.....


----------



## zipperhead_cop (17 Jun 2006)

Michael O'Leary said:
			
		

> Conspiracy theories in layers upon layers, and here I was thinking it was all about the third gunman and where was the thin Elvis hidden.



Jesus=thin Elvis.  Same guy.


----------



## GAP (17 Jun 2006)

Fred?    Fred, is that you?


----------



## Hot Lips (17 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> I kinda hesitate ....well, not much.... to mention this.... but we are creating a problem. If we go ahead with the  Dune style still-suits  and wax all the fishys, we now have all this water for ourselves. But, once we've dehydrated everything and transported it all, what are we going to do with the ..... salt?


Sell it to the department of transportation for winter salting of course ;D

HL


----------



## Hot Lips (17 Jun 2006)

zipperhead_cop said:
			
		

> Jesus=thin Elvis.  Same guy.


LMAO

HL


----------



## 17thRecceSgt (18 Jun 2006)

I am betting I had more fun reading that thread than the posters had writing it!



 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


----------



## Haggis (18 Jun 2006)

Nine pages.

There really is nothing good on TV any more.


----------



## paracowboy (18 Jun 2006)

Haggis said:
			
		

> Nine pages.
> 
> There really is nothing good on TV any more.


yeah, but it cuts down on chaff in real threads. Saves me work.


----------



## Bruce Monkhouse (18 Jun 2006)

paracowboy said:
			
		

> yeah, but it cuts down on chaff in real threads. Saves me work.



Yep, about 3 days ago it was the tough choice....scrap it or let it run its course in R/C ?
Didn't think it had the legs for 9 pages though, gee, maybe I should buy stock in this dehydrated water thingy....


----------



## GAP (18 Jun 2006)

Bruce Monkhouse said:
			
		

> , gee, maybe I should buy stock in this dehydrated water thingy....



Uh....what do you want me to do with your stock then???


----------



## zipperhead_cop (18 Jun 2006)

Bruce Monkhouse said:
			
		

> Yep, about 3 days ago it was the tough choice....scrap it or let it run its course in R/C ?
> Didn't think it had the legs for 9 pages though, gee, maybe I should buy stock in this dehydrated water thingy....



Perhaps a sub-category of "Half Retarded Brain Fluff" would be a good place to intercept foolishness?  
Did the original poster ever come back?  Even to lurk?


----------



## Michael OLeary (18 Jun 2006)

zipperhead_cop said:
			
		

> Perhaps a sub-category of "Half Retarded Brain Fluff" would be a good place to intercept foolishness?
> Did the original poster ever come back?  Even to lurk?



Nope



> Will Canada be invaded for its' water?
> « on: June 14, 2006, 17:15:01 »





> Last Active:  	June 14, 2006, 17:20:18


----------



## GAP (18 Jun 2006)

I don't think he will EVER be back


----------



## Hot Lips (18 Jun 2006)

Well that's a darn shame...how else could we have gotten the idea  : for this on our own...so as to expend 9 pages of insanity, lmao

HL


----------



## a_majoor (19 Jun 2006)

Michael O'Leary said:
			
		

> I have some concerns with this plan.  Bringing in massive amount of space ice will add to the planet's mass, has anyone calculated the effects of this on the earth's rotation and the length of the year?  How do we ensure that this water is not resold, thus undercutting the market for new water? ... water flea markets ... water sales on e-bay .....  The proposed entry of space ice/water into the atmosphere will, as noted, create massive amounts of heat as the kinetic energy of the moving mass of water is converted to thermal energy and converts the ice to steam.  This will result in a net addition to the global ecosphere of thermal energy, potentially increasing the pace of global warning, hastening the melting of the ice caps and creating a water surplus.   Space water is a self-defeating plan.  And, one more, how will we 'brand' our water so it's not confused with the low-grade sweat shop water imported by the big corporations?



You see problems, I see opportunities:

Changing the mass and rotation of the Earth means we can adjust the day to fir OUR schedule. Need a few extra hours to sleep in or finish that high priority project? No problems! Increasing the mass of the Earth increasesthe gravitational pull, so owners of shares in weight watchers should see a huge increase in valuation.

Increasing the amount of thermal energy in the Earth's ecosphere can only _improve_ our lives. Heating bills will go down, grow-ops won't need those expensive heat lamps (further reducing our energy consumption in Ontario), and my banana plantations on the shores of Lake Erie will finally become paying propositions, since global warming has been a bust so far.

Melting ice caps = new beach front property. Army.ca members know how to read topo maps, need I say more?

Branding water should not be too difficult, space ice has been exposed to cosmic radiation, so a glass of space water should have that certain "sparkle", especially in the evening as the light fades....

The brilliance of the plan continues to unfold  ;D ;D ;D


----------



## GAP (19 Jun 2006)

a_majoor said:
			
		

> You see problems, I see opportunities:
> 
> Changing the mass and rotation of the Earth means we can adjust the day to fir OUR schedule. Need a few extra hours to sleep in or finish that high priority project? No problems! Increasing the mass of the Earth increasesthe gravitational pull, so owners of shares in weight watchers should see a huge increase in valuation.
> opportunities 1: invest in space patrol shares and in variable Earth Mass Clocks shares...gotta be a winner
> ...


----------



## a_majoor (20 Jun 2006)

In response to complaints about the extra thermal energy of space ice re entering the Earth's atmosphere, the obvious solution is here:

http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/45302/post-396850.html#msg396850


----------



## GAP (20 Jun 2006)

Absolutely brilliant!!! ;D Now why didn't I think of that? :-[


----------



## ReadyandWilling (20 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> Absolutely brilliant!!! ;D Now why didn't I think of that? :-[


Possibly because you are sane??


----------



## GAP (20 Jun 2006)

ReadyandWilling said:
			
		

> Possibly because you are sane??


Pfffta!!!   Nonesense....who wants to be sane? Who has all the fun huh...huh? some guy plodding along living is dull life, or the  *&^*^$ guy who will try anything.... ;D

Eureka !!  I've Solved it!!! 8)

See....that's how you do it  :cheers:


----------



## ReadyandWilling (20 Jun 2006)

Haha. Sadly, I agree. And finally someone has solved it.


----------



## zipperhead_cop (20 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> Pfffta!!!   Nonesense....who wants to be sane? Who has all the fun huh...huh? some guy plodding along living is dull life, or the  *&^*^$ guy who will try anything.... ;D
> 
> Eureka !!  I've Solved it!!! 8)
> 
> See....that's how you do it  :cheers:



You forgot to detail how it will be powered by a perpetual motion generator.


----------



## GAP (20 Jun 2006)

zipperhead_cop said:
			
		

> You forgot to detail how it will be powered by a perpetual motion generator.



It's not a perpetual motion generator silly, it's a planetary motion generator!! :

I could figure out how to diagram all the planets and their forces, then show the inverse ratio of effect in that small picture....so I forgot about it


----------



## ReadyandWilling (20 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> It's not a perpetual motion generator silly, it's a planetary motion generator!! :
> 
> I could figure out how to diagram all the planets and their forces, then show the inverse ratio of effect in that small picture....so I forgot about it


 :-\ :-\ :-\

I like pie.


----------



## zipperhead_cop (20 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> It's not a perpetual motion generator silly, it's a planetary motion generator!! :
> 
> I could figure out how to diagram all the planets and their forces, then show the inverse ratio of effect in that small picture....so I forgot about it



OOO, lets start applying string theory!!


----------



## GAP (20 Jun 2006)

You want to tie strings to the planets.....why, that's just ...silly.....maybe....maybe not...hmmm


----------



## TMM (20 Jun 2006)

tie strings to planets? Oooh I have jsut the yarn for that ;D


----------



## zipperhead_cop (20 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> You want to tie strings to the planets.....why, that's just ...silly.....maybe....maybe not...hmmm



You can catch a lot of ice crystals with an interplanetary net.......think about it!


----------



## Michael OLeary (20 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> See....that's how you do it  :cheers:



So it's true, once the PowerPoint slide is produced, the problem is actually solved.

Right, next problem.


----------



## ExSarge (20 Jun 2006)

Either you guys are drinking way to much, or I'm not drinking enough. The scary part is some of this thread is starting to make sense!


----------



## GAP (20 Jun 2006)

Michael O'Leary said:
			
		

> So it's true, once the PowerPoint slide is produced, the problem is actually solved.
> 
> Right, next problem.



Not quite so fast there bub.....we have this little detail of "String Theory" to be solved, so I want the credit !!! ;D


----------



## Pea (20 Jun 2006)

Do Ya'll work ???

I cannot believe this thread is still going.  :dontpanic:


----------



## Michael OLeary (20 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> Not quite so fast there bub.....we have this little detail of "String Theory" to be solved, so I want the credit !!! ;D



Use this tool to add strings to your theory slide:







Anything else I can help you with?


----------



## GAP (20 Jun 2006)

but of course....one of my employer's stops in about every month and asks how things are going...and I tell him "Ok, but I would like a raise soon"; the other comes over once a year and asks the same question. I don't tell him I need a raise, because he signs my cheques and ....well, you know. ;D


----------



## GAP (20 Jun 2006)

Michael O'Leary said:
			
		

> Use this tool to add strings to your theory slide:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Can I adjust the thickness of the string...some theories are stronger than others, and I'm also thinking along the lines of netting...that was a good suggestion. Just having a little trouble with the anchor points and what size comets to let through....


----------



## Pea (20 Jun 2006)

Michael O'Leary said:
			
		

> Use this tool to add strings to your theory slide:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



HAHA Gap!

What about you Michael, I see you're busy on MSN Messenger...  ;D

...kidding of course.... as I sit here browsing army.ca at work.  >


----------



## zipperhead_cop (20 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> Can I adjust the thickness of the string...some theories are stronger than others, and I'm also thinking along the lines of netting...that was a good suggestion. Just having a little trouble with the anchor points and what size comets to let through....



You better be careful not to overfish the solar system with too fine a net.  Particularly in the east and west parts of the galaxy.  I realize it is done by everyone else, but we have to have standards, you know.


----------



## Michael OLeary (20 Jun 2006)

Pea said:
			
		

> What about you Michael, I see you're busy on MSN Messenger...  ;D



Late lunch, and only a 5-minute walk between desks (home and work).


----------



## GAP (20 Jun 2006)

For those enthusiasts here's a contest....


----------



## GAP (20 Jun 2006)

zipperhead_cop said:
			
		

> You better be careful not to overfish the solar system with too fine a net.  Particularly in the east and west parts of the galaxy.  I realize it is done by everyone else, but we have to have standards, you know.



I'm glad you pointed that out, it makes my job a little easier.   

Now, as for standards, I'll just pretend I speak Spanish or Portugese, it works for the Grand Banks, maybe it will work out there....nah, I'll approach the space ice council and get them to block out a harvest area first.


----------



## Centurian1985 (22 Jun 2006)

Oh man, this thread is STILL going????


----------



## 17thRecceSgt (22 Jun 2006)

yes it is and I am STILL reading it  too


----------



## couchcommander (22 Jun 2006)

Sometimes I think Mike should pull together a bunch of these threads and publish a big book O' Army.ca funnies.


----------



## Hot Lips (23 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> For those enthusiasts here's a contest....


The hydrojet W-01

Okay I'll bite

HL


----------



## a_majoor (23 Jun 2006)

Seems everyone is forgetting the *Space Patrol * will object to hanging strings or nets from planets, since that will impact on their operations. It will be one thing for them to deliver interplanetary ice to market (as hot water or steam), but quite another for them to dump it on you in retaliation for cluttering the spaceways.

Being scalded by radioactive space steam is going to hurt! (and don't forget they will also be changing the Earth's rotation and Gravitational field, probably in ways you won't like).


----------



## Old Sweat (23 Jun 2006)

If the rotational and gravity fields are changed, what will that do to the parallel universe where the Sasquatches, Jimmy Hoffa and Elvis are hiding?


----------



## paracowboy (23 Jun 2006)

still goin', huh?


----------



## 17thRecceSgt (23 Jun 2006)

:rofl:

I think this is my favroite thread!  Its like the Energizer Bunny...it keeps going...and going...and going...


----------



## Michael OLeary (23 Jun 2006)

Old Sweat said:
			
		

> If the rotational and gravity fields are changed, what will that do to the parallel universe where the Sasquatches, Jimmy Hoffa and Elvis are hiding?



Oh great, now that you've mentioned Jimmy, Carnivore will kick in and the FBI will be digging under Mike's house next.

So, what if we balance the mass of incoming space steam by shipping off planet an equal weight of useless junk; like internet trolls and other toxic waste?


----------



## couchcommander (23 Jun 2006)

Michael O'Leary said:
			
		

> equal weight of useless junk



OH OH, the Republican party is pretty hefty! ;D  :warstory:


----------



## GAP (23 Jun 2006)

First you tell me to be careful not to over fish the solar system with too fine a net.  Particularly in the east and west parts of the galaxy.

So I focused only on the periphery of the local black holes and worm hole vortexes.
Then, you tell me the Space Patrol will object to hanging strings or nets from planets, that they might scald us with radioactive space steam by delivering interplanetary ice to market (as hot water or steam), or in retaliation dump it on us in retaliation for cluttering the space ways.

So, I checked with them, and so long as I place
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 Ebunny beacons on them, they don't have a problem.I want to assure you that rotational and gravity fields are not changed, and that nothing will happen to the parallel universe where the Sasquatches, Jimmy Hoffa and Elvis are hiding.

You had to let it out didn't you....it wasn't on anybody's horizon, UNTIL NOW. Uh...Mike, keep an eye out will you, those FBI guys are nuts sometimes.


----------



## Michael OLeary (23 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> You had to let it out didn't you....it wasn't on anybody's horizon, UNTIL NOW. Uh...Mike, keep an eye out will you, those FBI guys are nuts sometimes.



I've been planning to start a rumour of him being buried in the yard, that way they can excavate for my swimming pool.  Now, who do I send cheques to to have the pool filled with falling space water?


----------



## GAP (23 Jun 2006)

It's free so long as you provide a gravity funnel to channel it away from you neighbour's rose bushes.


----------



## Michael OLeary (23 Jun 2006)

Ah, a gravity funnel ... just a minute .... I think I can order a plan for one of those from the classifieds in my July 1966 Popular Mechanix.

Wouldn't want to see the neighbour's roses irradiated by my space steam pool water supply.


----------



## GAP (23 Jun 2006)

What a thoughtful fellow your are !!! ;D

Most people just say "piss on it" :


----------



## Michael OLeary (23 Jun 2006)

Actually, the sideband radiation loss from the gravity funnel will make his dog explode, and that'll be even more fun to watch.


----------



## GAP (23 Jun 2006)

Oh no...not so. The gravity funnel is supported by ion catchers, so it only frizzles the hair a little, especially when the dog cocks his hind leg and  let's go....surprise!!!  (exactly like peeing on an electric fence (from personal experience))


----------



## Michael OLeary (23 Jun 2006)

You've got to stop buying those ANSI approved models.


----------



## GAP (23 Jun 2006)

Oh great...now you tell me.  CSA model had the same effect on the same stupid drunk person.


----------



## Hot Lips (23 Jun 2006)

Well they (who are these "they" people anyway) reported on the news today that due to global warming the warmer air we have now is able to hold more moisture than it previously could at a lower global temperature...

So that means one of two things...we kibosh the whole plan or....we get this warm air and take the water out of it...any takers  ;D

HL


----------



## Michael OLeary (23 Jun 2006)

ANSI - 1966 ("more responsive to consumer needs")
CSA - 1980 ("the first certification organization was accredited")

You need the older models.  Look for ones with Czech vacuum tubes technology.  They have what you really need if you're going to funnel falling space steam and have interesting side effects (pardon the pun) on domestic pets.


----------



## GAP (23 Jun 2006)

Michael O'Leary said:
			
		

> You need the older models.  Look for ones with Czech vacuum tubes technology.  They have what you really need if you're going to funnel falling space steam and have interesting side effects (pardon the pun) on domestic pets.



I was taught  vacuum tubes technology when transistors were neat and IC's were a dream, but I digress......

Czech vacuum tube technology aside, gravity funnels will be quite necessary to focus the downfall with irradiating everything in the neighbourhood. Tiajuana, Mexico makes an excellent model called the "Seester" model. Why when I was down there, I had all kinds on people simply come up to me and offer to sell me their "seester". Really friendly salesmen those Mexicans are.


----------



## zipperhead_cop (24 Jun 2006)

We need not be worried about the Space Patrol ships being entangled, as in 2001 the upgrades (as a result of a no bid contract to Bombardier) included a phase shift cloaking device, thus rendering them intangible.  
Where you may run into issues is if the net uses anything other than carbon fibre threads.  Use of metallic threads will cause the net to fall under the purview of the Inter Galactic Communications Counsel (conveniently located in Shawinigan), as the net could be dual purposed for a galaxy wide comms antenna.  Plus, appropriate filter mechanisms should be fitted that will block out the roaming undead spirits that managed to escape the earths gravity and magnetic fields that would be able to channel into the net and thus reconstitute themselves as water demons( which would really constitute a PR issue).  Please refer to the Tech department of this organization for the proper spirit filters:

http://www.scientology.org/


----------



## Michael OLeary (24 Jun 2006)

Maybe we can encapsulate space ice, at source, into buckeyball carriers.  The buckeyballs can be directed into the earthzone spacenet and then diverted to corporate or privately owned gravity funnels.  If a deposit is paid on each buckeyball container, the empties can be diverted into municipal recycling streams and returned for reuse.


----------



## Hot Lips (24 Jun 2006)

Okay this is discrimination...why isn't this thread locked when the superiors thread was and it was getting darn good and  funny...LMAO

HK


----------



## Adrian_888 (24 Jun 2006)

Hot Lips said:
			
		

> Okay this is discrimination...why isn't this thread locked when the superiors thread was and it was getting darn good and  funny...LMAO
> HK



The only problem with this post is reply number 1 through to reply number 180, you all just take one look at it and laugh, when really its a serious topic.



			
				deltahotel said:
			
		

> I believe that Canada has the most fresh water on earth. Fresh water is running low for some countries. If shortage progresses those and new countries well look to us for the water they need. And if we don't let them have it, they'll try and take it by force.



My history teacher was telling us about this kind of thing a couple weeks ago, he was talking about US plans to dam off valley rivers at the border and flood entire valleys in Canada so that the US could have huge reserves.  I couldn't find any info on this, but ill post some more info and some links once i do.

At least if they did this we could always just blow up the dam  >


----------



## muskrat89 (24 Jun 2006)

> he was talking about US plans to dam off valley rivers



Yes, they'll build them overnight, so it will be a surprise   :


----------



## Joe Simpson (24 Jun 2006)

I was thinking they'd build 'em in space and then float them down using a giant albatross.


----------



## Michael OLeary (24 Jun 2006)

Or create them from nanotubes filled with empty buckeyballs.


----------



## GAP (24 Jun 2006)

Here I go to pick a few saskatoon berries, and I find this elite(hic) group has surpassed my original ideas. Not only that, but they have embraced Chretian's relativity theory and are even using his equipment built in his home town (financed by local advertisers of course). sheesh. 

Since the Space Patrol ships being entangled, when the 2001 the upgrades (as a result of a no bid contract to Bombardier) included a phase shift cloaking device, thus rendering them intangible, are now under closed contract with the Space Patrol, but are mostly waiting for parts Bombardier forgot to include when cost overruns were not approved by Paul Martin.

In my original designs of the net, taking all parameters into account, I found that carbon fibre threads can only be held at cluster points by nanotubes filled with empty buckeyballs. Unfortunately for strength, I had to use old bread bag tie wraps (containing metal wire) to bind them as the glue of flour and H2O was not strong enough, and everything else was illegal. Now I find this did not contravene the Inter Galactic Communications Counsel (conveniently located in Shawinigan), as the net could be dual purposed for a galaxy wide comms antenna.

In thinking  appropriate filter mechanisms should be fitted that will block out the roaming undead spirits that managed to escape the earths gravity and magnetic fields that would be able to channel into the net and thus reconstitute themselves as water demons( which would really constitute a PR issue) I also found a solution. Rent water sprites...the little devils really screw up the reconstitution process, thus the roaming, undead spirits end up coming out looking a little like the picture below.  This was the recommendation of the Tech department of this organization.

We found we did not need to encapsulate space ice, at source, into buckeyball carriers. Space Ice, coincidentally, comes prepackaged into buckeyball carriers, but if we encapsulate and try to collect a deposit the CCRA charges GST and the receiving province charges PST, plus a handling charge, PLUS an enviro levy of 10%. Totally unacceptable. Whereas we can, for free, have the buckeyballs be directed into the earthzone spacenet and then diverted to corporate or privately owned gravity funnels at no charge, but we can charge them for the equal amount of water coming out of the gravity funnel with any of the aforementioned charges, because it falls under the municipal water system.


----------



## purple peguin (24 Jun 2006)

Good Idea...


----------



## Michael OLeary (24 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> , undead spirits end up coming out looking a little like the picture below.



No wonder I've always found him so creepy.


----------



## GAP (24 Jun 2006)

How do you think I felt? I used to snuggle up to a great big fuzzy one, no, that's not right...that was my first wife.....nevermind..


----------



## Adrian_888 (25 Jun 2006)

muskrat89 said:
			
		

> Yes, they'll build them overnight, so it will be a surprise   :



If they dam them off on the US side of the border and it just so happens too flood half of BC, they don't need our permission.

Not to say that this would go through, cause as I said someone from Canada would blow it up, I know i would.


----------



## GAP (25 Jun 2006)

That's impossible....If the Americans damned the waterways and the water backed up into Canada, it will never acquire it's US molecule and lose it's Canadian molecule, thus the water would easily be identified as Canadian Water and we could impose, heavy tariffs, and it would even stand up to court challenges


----------



## Adrian_888 (25 Jun 2006)

this is kinda theroetical now, but if the dammed water started up ended at the dam in the US, and was drawen from the part of this new artifical lake that was in the US, then wouldent they be able to get away with it.  (at least intil I blew it up)


----------



## Trinity (25 Jun 2006)

Badgers Badgers Badgers Badgers Badgers Badgers Badgers Badgers

Mushroom Mushroom


----------



## GAP (25 Jun 2006)

There already is a Recipe thread, but I'm sorry we don't have any recipes for baked badger with mushrooms.....do you have one?


----------



## Trinity (25 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> There already is a Recipe thread, but I'm sorry we don't have any recipes for baked badger with mushrooms.....do you have one?



My bad.. WHAT was I thinking..

My humble apologies.  

I vote NO for Invading the USA for their Water!


----------



## GAP (25 Jun 2006)

Trinity said:
			
		

> I vote NO for Invading the USA for their Water!



We might consider it, until we get enough water to trade for one of their smaller aircraft carriers, then have the UN insert a peacekeeping mission (Hey, we're good at that!!!) to separate us and settle the dispute. Everybody's sorta happy.


----------



## Michael OLeary (25 Jun 2006)

Greek Cypriot and Turk Cypriot peacekeepers .... winter tour .... Alberta-Montana border.  Mandate renewed every six months until the water dispute is settled.


----------



## GAP (25 Jun 2006)

Neat...returning the favor for 32 years !!! yeah


----------



## orange.paint (25 Jun 2006)

Im setting up the CD shop outside their camp.....no one else move in. ;D


----------



## GAP (25 Jun 2006)

I get the rights to the brothel !!!!  ;D


----------



## zipperhead_cop (25 Jun 2006)

Adrian_888 said:
			
		

> The only problem with this post is reply number 1 through to reply number 180, you all just take one look at it and laugh, when really its a serious topic.
> 
> My history teacher was telling us about this kind of thing a couple weeks ago, he was talking about US plans to dam off valley rivers at the border and flood entire valleys in Canada so that the US could have huge reserves.  I couldn't find any info on this, but ill post some more info and some links once i do.
> 
> At least if they did this we could always just blow up the dam  >



Ah, youth of British Columbia.  Thank god the education system is doing such a stellar and unbiased job of educating our precious leaders of tomorrow.  Truly, we are in great hands.  
No doubt, son, you will make a fine ice harvester in the Space Patrol.


----------



## GAP (25 Jun 2006)

He would have to temper his impatience. Can't go around blowing up dams all over the solar system, just because....because we have agreements, and stuff. Besides, it makes the Space Patrol look chintzy....second rate...


----------



## darmil (25 Jun 2006)

Whats the point of this topic? :


----------



## Michael OLeary (25 Jun 2006)

MikeH said:
			
		

> Whats the point of this topic? :



Amusement.

That's why it's in Radio Chatter.


----------



## orange.paint (25 Jun 2006)

CD'S WILL BE SOLD IN EURO....IF BOSNIANS CAN GET AWAY WITH ROBERY SO CAN I!


----------



## Hot Lips (25 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> I get the rights to the brothel !!!!  ;D


 

HL


----------



## GAP (25 Jun 2006)

Hot Lips said:
			
		

> HL



Just stepping up to the (hic) plate  ;D


----------



## Adrian_888 (26 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> He would have to temper his impatience. Can't go around blowing up dams all over the solar system, just because....because we have agreements, and stuff. Besides, it makes the Space Patrol look chintzy....second rate...



Blowing up things is how stuff is done... the terrorist blew up a couple buildings and half the world is at war.  What could be more efficient?


----------



## Jack O. (26 Jun 2006)

Way to ruin the moment....


----------



## George Wallace (26 Jun 2006)

He definitely has to get with the program.


----------



## a_majoor (26 Jun 2006)

Adrian_888 said:
			
		

> Blowing up things is how stuff is done... the terrorist blew up a couple buildings and half the world is at war.  *What could be more efficient*?



The Space Patrol dropping the nets on the terrorists blowing up dams, and bombarding them with space ice.  >


----------



## Michael OLeary (26 Jun 2006)

Adrian_888 said:
			
		

> Blowing up things is how stuff is done...



The Wile E. Coyote plan for world domination.


----------



## a_majoor (26 Jun 2006)

Adrian 888 is reffering to the North American Water and Power Alliance, a plan footed in 1964. It was designed around diverting the many northern rivers into the "Rocky Mountain Trench" (between BC and Alberta) and then pumping the water south into the United States. Besides the rather outlandish cost ($300 billion 1964 dollars) and the scale of the project (the Rocky Mountain Trench would probably be topped up today if the project was started in 1964, it was estimated the entire project would take 40 years), the former USSR demonstrated this sort of geo engineering has some huge down sides.

In any event, this was considered as a sort of thought experiment by the US Army Corps of Engineers (along with digging canals using nuclear explosives), but except among newly comissioned engineering officers and the occasional colonel looking for something exceptional to propell him to Flag rank, nothing serious was ever done along this line.

This paper talks about the project, although considering the source, you need to extract the information from the enviro "bumf" http://www.environmentprobe.org/EnviroProbe/pubs/ev-540.htm

Now back to our regularly scheduled silliness.


----------



## GAP (27 Jun 2006)

a_majoor said:
			
		

> Now back to our regularly scheduled silliness.



This North American Water and Power Alliance is not that far out. Stop and think about it. Here we have a ready source of water, a reliable delivery system, Gravity Funnels (properly ionically charged) to guide the space ice, a prototype water dehydration process, the will and the need. 

So.... we take some of that empty Montana land, retrench the Colorado River Basin to accommodate the massive flows (Neutron weapons might be feasible, or in a pinch a Solar Laser), install a series of Gravity Funnels feeding directly into the water dehydration plant, with the overflow going through a spillway directly into the Colorado Basin. The Heavy Water can be piped towards Washington State, the Stilsuit re-manufacturing can be located close by.

There are probably a couple minor details I have left out in my excitement, but that is understandable. 

So....once again, with boundless energy, quick reactions, and indomitable spirit I come to the Einsteinian Answer to our water problems.  Oh, there will be nay sayers, but it is all laid out there in front of you....don't applaud, throw money !!

Thank you


----------



## a_majoor (27 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> This North American Water and Power Alliance is not that far out. Stop and think about it. Here we have a ready source of water, a reliable delivery system, Gravity Funnels (properly ionically charged) to guide the space ice, a prototype water dehydration process, the will and the need.
> 
> So.... we take some of that empty Montana land, retrench the Colorado River Basin to accommodate the massive flows (Neutron weapons might be feasible, or in a pinch a Solar Laser), install a series of Gravity Funnels feeding directly into the water dehydration plant, with the overflow going through a spillway directly into the Colorado Basin. The Heavy Water can be piped towards Washington State, the Stilsuit re-manufacturing can be located close by.
> 
> ...



GAP, your energy is giving me a headache. I will have some Scotch, neat, to solve my personal problem as well as to conserve water. I certainly couldn't afford to buy it from you!

(Good thing I have that side deal with the Space Patrol...OOPS! Ouside voice alert! )


----------



## zipperhead_cop (27 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> There are probably a couple minor details I have left out in my excitement, but that is understandable.



Have solar ion sail ships to deploy the gravity funnels to their strategic locations around the sun for max effect.  You can crew them permanently at no cost with the newly rehabilitated water demon/sprite hybrids (called wet sprimon) who, as luck would have it, can weave carbon fibre thread out of anti-matter and cosmic energy.  
Hey, I'm all about the solutions.

(I am very disappointed that the spell checker does not have "sprimon" in its cache.  That is so totally Commadore 64)


----------



## George Wallace (27 Jun 2006)

zipperhead_cop said:
			
		

> (I am very disappointed that the spell checker does not have "sprimon" in its cache.  That is so totally Commadore 64)



Well Dude.....DND is still working with Windows 3.0.    ;D


----------



## zipperhead_cop (27 Jun 2006)

George Wallace said:
			
		

> Well Dude.....DND is still working with Windows 3.0.    ;D



Actually, I could believe that.


----------



## ExSarge (27 Jun 2006)

There is a very simple answer to this problem, I'm supprised that no one has voiced it yet. OK here it is...no wait maybe it's better that you see for yourself! 

Alright, first wrap your head in tinfoil (it helps to keep the voices out). Next stick your left foot in a bucket of warm (warm, not hot, not cold!) water. Finally stick a fork in the toaster. 

In that one brief blinding flash of clarity it will all make sense. The answer will reveal itself to you. 

Don't worry about the twitching...it goes away in a couple of days. On the other hand the incontinence lasts for awhile, but at least it's warm!


----------



## Centurian1985 (27 Jun 2006)

Adrian_888 said:
			
		

> My history teacher was telling us about this kind of thing a couple weeks ago, he was talking about US plans to dam off valley rivers at the border and flood entire valleys in Canada so that the US could have huge reserves.  I couldn't find any info on this, but ill post some more info and some links once i do.



Isnt this in reference to the Devils Lake dam project in North Dakota that was assessed as potentially causing flooding along the Assiniboine River in Manitoba?


----------



## a_majoor (27 Jun 2006)

Centurian1985 said:
			
		

> Isnt this in reference to the Devils Lake dam project in North Dakota that was assessed as potentially causing flooding along the Assiniboine River in Manitoba?



I suspect the teacher was referring to the North American Water and Power Alliance scheme discussed a few posts earlier, although there have been numerous schemes floated (heh) since 1964 on greater or lesser scales, everything from damming James Bay to diverting the Arctic rivers to flow south, or sending water from Great Slave Lake to the Lake Superior watershed.

Since the Laws of Physics are rigorously enforced throughout the Universe, most of these schemes are totally impractical on any sort of financial or engineering standard of merit. Some of the ideas floated on this thread ( >) actually make more sense than spending $300 billion (1964) dollars and 40 years to fill a huge glacial valley between Alberta and BC with water and piping it south. If we want to see rational use of available water, then charge market prices for fresh water and see what happens in households, industry and agriculture.

Since the NAWPA scheme is so totally disconnected with the real world, I will give it an hounourary place on this thread.


----------



## GAP (27 Jun 2006)

ExSarge said:
			
		

> There is a very simple answer to this problem, I'm supprised that no one has voiced it yet. OK here it is...no wait maybe it's better that you see for yourself!
> 
> Alright, first wrap your head in tinfoil (it helps to keep the voices out). Next stick your left foot in a bucket of warm (warm, not hot, not cold!) water. Finally stick a fork in the toaster.
> 
> ...



Thank god for Depends!!! The incontinence does not go away quickly....you lied!!! 

As for the other parts of the solution....how the *ell do you think all these people got to this point?


----------



## GAP (27 Jun 2006)

Centurian1985 said:
			
		

> Isnt this in reference to the Devils Lake dam project in North Dakota that was assessed as potentially causing flooding along the Assiniboine River in Manitoba?



Shhhh.....I like the Montana/Alberta solution better....no mosquitoes!!!! ;D


----------



## GAP (27 Jun 2006)

a_majoor said:
			
		

> Since the NAWPA scheme is so totally disconnected with the real world, I will give it an hounourary place on this thread.



I suspect that you are putting the kibosh on my plan....Not Realistic....why, I'll show you....I'll get an NDP government in, they all say they can change the world...this will be one way they can prove it.....oops...we have an NDP government in Manitoba....and they LOST out on the Garrison Diversion Plan....hmmm....back to voting conservative.


----------



## GAP (27 Jun 2006)

> zipperhead_cop
> Have solar ion sail ships to deploy the gravity funnels to their strategic locations around the sun for max effect.  You can crew them permanently at no cost with the newly rehabilitated water demon/sprite hybrids (called wet sprimon) who, as luck would have it, can weave carbon fibre thread out of anti-matter and cosmic energy.
> Hey, I'm all about the solutions.



Now there in a brief blinding flash of clarity it all made sense. The answer was revealed  to me. You’ve just solved the man/sprimon power problem. I thought I would have to import Mexicans, who by the way, cannot weave carbon fibre thread out of anti-matter and cosmic energy. Thank you.....Thank you!!!  

(note: sprimon does not come up on this spellchecker either....can it be added?)


----------



## a_majoor (27 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> I suspect that you are putting the kibosh on my plan....Not Realistic....why, I'll show you....I'll get an NDP government in, they all say they can change the world...this will be one way they can prove it.....oops...we have an NDP government in Manitoba....and they LOST out on the Garrison Diversion Plan....hmmm....back to voting conservative.



GAP, *YOU* have an honourary place on this thread as well!  ;D ;D ;D


----------



## ExSarge (28 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> Thank god for Depends!!! The incontinence does not go away quickly....you lied!!!
> 
> As for the other parts of the solution....how the *ell do you think all these people got to this point?




You mean they hear the voices too? 
Oh, I didn't lie, I never said the incontinence goes away! Why would you want it to? It's warm!


----------



## GAP (28 Jun 2006)

Yewwww.....Thank god for wipes!!!   ;D

So many people here hear voices, you'd think we had our own angelic choir   :-X


----------



## zipperhead_cop (28 Jun 2006)

For me, it's like thirty DAT machines all playing at super-fast forward.


----------



## Haggis (28 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> Now there in a brief blinding flash of clarity it all made sense.



I see that your "brief blinding flash of clarity" likely resulted from touching a light switch while standing in a puddle of melted space ice.  This caused you to overlook a critical factor:

The American economy has proven time and again that nothing happens without Mexicans.  Not even the space program.


----------



## Old Sweat (28 Jun 2006)

If we see Mexicans with bales of empty sandbags gathering in the river vallies along the border in BC, is the jig up?


----------



## ExSarge (28 Jun 2006)

Old Sweat said:
			
		

> If we see Mexicans with bales of empty sandbags gathering in the river vallies along the border in BC, is the jig up?




As long as they are not drinking the water it's OK! Wait, how do we know they are really Mexicans and not intergalactic space rangers bent on a Coups De Main? Got to what them space rangers...sneaky buggers that lot!


----------



## GAP (28 Jun 2006)

Haggis said:
			
		

> I see that your "brief blinding flash of clarity" likely resulted from touching a light switch while standing in a puddle of melted space ice.  This caused you to overlook a critical factor:
> The American economy has proven time and again that nothing happens without Mexicans.  Not even the space program.



Actually it was "Alright, first wrap your head in tinfoil (it helps to keep the voices out). Next stick your left foot in a bucket of warm (warm, not hot, not cold!) water. Finally stick a fork in the toaster. 
In that one brief blinding flash of clarity it will all make sense. The answer will reveal itself to you. 
Don't worry about the twitching...it goes away in a couple of days."  
The difficulty with your statement is that "Space Ice" requires tremendous BTU's to get to the "warm" state. 
As for "If we see Mexicans with bales of empty sandbags gathering in the river vallies along the border in BC, is the jig up?"

No, we could not do without the termite quality of the Mexicans...who do you think was going to widen the Colorado River Basin, Install the footings for the Funnels, Build the Stilsuit Regeneration Factory, Construct the Heavy Water Pipeline to Washington State?? That is, right after they finish building my "Co Generation Cycle Generator", but that shouldn't be too long....we just hired a supervisor (picture below)


----------



## ExSarge (28 Jun 2006)

Hey, what the heck! I had that guy under contract! We were going on the road, him on percussions, me on air guitar and Gerry Garcia backing us up. Well that's once we dug up Gerry!  Now I have to go back to sitting in the dark chewing on lead based paint


----------



## GAP (28 Jun 2006)

ExSarge said:
			
		

> Hey, what the heck! I had that guy under contract! We were going on the road, him on percussions, me on air guitar and Gerry Garcia backing us up. Well that's once we dug up Gerry!  Now I have to go back to sitting in the dark chewing on lead based paint



soo soorry.....hehe....we made him an offer he couldn't refuse. 5% share of revenues from the Stilsuit Regeneration Factory if the projects come in on time; failing that we remove his batteries!!!   >


----------



## Centurian1985 (28 Jun 2006)

a_majoor said:
			
		

> I suspect the teacher was referring to the North American Water and Power Alliance scheme discussed a few posts earlier, although there have been numerous schemes floated (heh) since 1964 on greater or lesser scales, everything from damming James Bay to diverting the Arctic rivers to flow south, or sending water from Great Slave Lake to the Lake Superior watershed.



Yes, missed the connection between the two posts.  All is clear as water now...


----------



## ExSarge (29 Jun 2006)

Fellows, this whole water thing has been a scam! I was beamed up to the mother ship last night and got the straight poop from the Big Head himself! Oh, by the way when you are beamed up, if he wants to "probe you" say no! 

Anyway we have all been wrong it's not the water, it's MAPLE SYRUP! The whole water thing has been a clever deception plan uncovered by one of our operatives in the south, Pamala Anderson! I, at great personal risk, have volunteered to travel south to fully "debrief " her...quit shoving I called dibs first! 

To continue, it's not the American's that are behind this. It's the Indians, no not those Indians you insensitive lout...they are First Nations people. 30 days sensitivity training, that man! No the other Indians, you know from the sub-continent. We should have known, they have been infiltrating us for years. Fitting in, paying taxes, contributing to the economic growth of the country. How bloody un-Canadian can you get? Why they are even more polite then we are! The plot is being master minded by the maharajah of Jam Jar. His goal, cornering the world maple syrup market!

There is of course only one way to foil this dastardly deed...that's right we have to out reproduce them! It's your patriotic duty to go forth and multiply at every opportunity, except if there is a hockey game on or a power tool sale at Canadian Tire! So, I want to see you put your backs into it! Buckle down and apply yourself! Put your shoulder to the...no that won't work. get your nose to the...nah, that's not working either. OK you know what I mean. 

Ladies this isn't just for the guys, we expect you to give it your all! We are all in this together, shoulder to shoulder...well depending on flexability. Remember to stretch first!

My job of course will be to gather additional resources for the cause. To that end I will be accepting donations for travel expenses. I think we may need to bring in the Swedish bikini team as a back up. I again, at great personal risk have volunteered to escort them back. I know, a dirty job but someones got to do it! Besides I called dibs first!


----------



## a_majoor (29 Jun 2006)

Won't maple syrup gum up the ionic funnels? How will it flow from the Rocky Mountain Trench into the Colorado River basin? (will $300 billion dollars worth of maple syrup fill the Rocky Mountain Trench? Will anyone use the acronym for North American Maple Syrup and Power Alliance?) What role does the Space Patrol have in all this? Where is my aluminum foil anyway?


----------



## George Wallace (29 Jun 2006)

We'll have to ensure that all the "Global Warming" conspiracy theorists are proven correct.  That way the Maple Syrup will flow more easily.  We don't want it to flow slower than molasses in February, would we?  We could also open up Tourist stands in the mountains were we can dip into the syrup and pour it out onto the Ice Fields and make "tasty treats" for them (at a price).  

Just imagine how kinky it could be to water ski in maple syrup.  Oh! Baby!


----------



## Shec (29 Jun 2006)

This resource must be regulated.   If we are going to re-surrect Jerry Garcia might I suggest that we make him "head" of the International Joint Commission and expand its mandate to include both water and maple syrup.


----------



## GAP (29 Jun 2006)

> ExSarge
> Fellows, this whole water thing has been a scam! I was beamed up to the mother ship last night and got the straight poop from the Big Head himself! Oh, by the way when you are beamed up, if he wants to "probe you" say no!



I think he “probed you”  anyway. Just look how focused you are towards the poor little (hic) Pamela Anderson and those other poor waifs who only have a few clothes to wear.  Why, if I didn’t know better, I would think….



> The plot is being master minded by the maharajah of Jam Jar. His goal, cornering the world maple syrup market!



Ah…that kook has been doing that for years, ever since he was able to teach his pet rock to eat the stuff, he’s been wanting to Maple Syrup this, and Maple Syrup that! It didn’t go over that well with the Buddhists….something about a sticky-wicket? 

I kinda like the idea of out producing them though. I will take some of your suggestions to mind and work on them. Question: does that mean we have to have cattle wandering around everywhere? I kinda like my Teen Burgers!!

A_Majoor: maple syrup WILL gum up the ionic funnels. As well, has anyone given any thought at all to the stresses we would be putting on those poor Maple Trees? To fill the Rocky Mountain Trench just initially, let alone a constant flow, would require the total conscription of the CF, US Armed Forces, all new immigrants for the first 5 years, and anybody who does not know how to use a spellchecker for 2 years, to plant and maintain all the trees throughout the prairies (bye bye never-ending horizon in Sask!!). 

But I do like the vision of "maple syrup skiing" in the Rockies!! Would the ski bunnies then be called sticky bunnies??

It would totally isolate the Space Patrol. Conscripting them would be useless, because like all Zoomies, we can’t get them off their butts for anything but zooming around!!


----------



## ExSarge (29 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> I think he “probed you”  anyway. Just look how focused you are towards the poor little (hic) Pamela Anderson and those other poor waifs who only have a few clothes to wear.  Why, if I didn't’t know better, I would think….



You make it sound as if I have impure thoughts about those poor wee lasses. Why I feel nothing but brotherly love for Pam and the others (well if their brother came from the Ozarks).



			
				GAP said:
			
		

> would require the total conscription of the CF, US Armed Forces, all new immigrants for the first 5 years, and anybody who does not know how to use a spellchecker for 2 years, to plant and maintain all the trees throughout the prairies (bye bye never-ending horizon in Sask!!).
> 
> But I do like the vision of "maple syrup skiing" in the Rockies!! Would the ski bunnies then be called sticky bunnies??




OK theres a problem with this, if they are all planting trees who's going to reproduce. I'm not doing it all myself! I mean jeez, I'm willing to do my bit but...although my wife has told me I have the body of a 20 year old! Although now that I think about it she did mumble something about giving it back because I was getting it all wrinkled and stretched out of shape! 

Our defensive strategy must hinge on the use of weapons of maximum absorption, French toast and pancakes! Our delivery systems, Ski Bunnies...wearing skimpy little outfits with tanned firm thighs and big...sorry starting to drift off to my happy place again! They will be referred to as FTP Delivery agents or FTPA's for short! They will not be referred to as sticky bunnies, although they will propably have sticky buns! If you play your cards right I might assign you to clean up detail. No promises, we'll see how you shape up.

All hail the Big Head!


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## GAP (29 Jun 2006)

> You make it sound as if I have impure thoughts about those poor wee lasses. Why I feel nothing but brotherly love for Pam and the others (well if their brother came from the Ozarks).



I almost believed you there, until in the next quote, you take your Cialis/Viagra, and slip up.....sigh....slip up....sigh....slip up....



> OK theres a problem with this, if they are all planting trees who's going to reproduce. I'm not doing it all myself! I mean jeez, I'm willing to do my bit but...although my wife has told me I have the body of a 20 year old! Although now that I think about it she did mumble something about giving it back because I was getting it all wrinkled and stretched out of shape!



You've never heard of coffee breaks, lunch breaks, copy rooms, etc....guy, where you bin workin' huh?????
As for the 20 year old comment, you sure she wasn't commenting about getting one for herself??? No offense intended, but I always used to tell my wife that as soon as she reached 40 I was going to trade her in for 2  20year olds.   I wonder what she's doing now  :



			
				ExSarge said:
			
		

> Our defensive strategy must hinge on the use of weapons of maximum absorption, French toast and pancakes! Our delivery systems, Ski Bunnies...wearing skimpy little outfits with tanned firm thighs and big...sorry starting to drift off to my happy place again! They will be referred to as FTP Delivery agents or FTPA's for short! They will not be referred to as sticky bunnies, although they will propably have sticky buns! If you play your cards right I might assign you to clean up detail. No promises, we'll see how you shape up.



Now, here you are thinking!!!  FTPA's are just what the doctor ordered!! Just thinking of going to work with Sticky Buns Bunnys is distracting, so we convert it to food....uh...are you hungry after an hour?



> All hail the Big Head!


 Stop with the fantasies already !!  ;D


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## ExSarge (29 Jun 2006)

The Big Head is not a fantasy! You to can get beamed up if you don't believe me. just take the hair dryer into the shower with you! You'll see he comes to you out of the light! Although you don't want to visits him to often, the intergalactic thought police make you spend time in a rubber room if they catch you! Although on the up side, the drugs they give you aren't all that bad!

Oh by the way you are definitely not being assigned to clean up detail if you maintain that attitude!


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## GAP (29 Jun 2006)

Ahhh....come on.....please    ;D ;D ;D


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## zipperhead_cop (29 Jun 2006)

Two years ago I took the "Thought Police for the Front Line Officer" course at Canadian Police College.  One of the instructors was there on an international secondment from the Intergalactic unit.  He had some awesome stories about "Big Head" and his proclivity towards maple kippers and their use as bedroom aids.  He also let slip, however, that the vast majority of ice on Callisto, one of Jupiter's moons, is in fact maple syrup.  Seems that for eons, the Elvis/Jesus fleet has been harvesting maple syrup and storing it there for the "Great Sweetening".  You can tell by the colour of the moon just how much they already have stored:

http://www.windows.ucar.edu/tour/link=/jupiter/moons/callisto.html

Ultimately, it was a syrup leak that jammed up Jesus control panel and caused him to get stuck in an ice field.  The Savior now listens to our prayers from there, and awaits the day when technology catches up and he is rescued.  He is a loving Savior, albeit sticky and a bit pissed off at Elvis for leaving the syrup ballast plug loose.  The rescue is inevitable, hence, the obvious divine influence in the ongoing plans here.  
We are all part of the grand scheme, and we are making it happen.  Right here. Right now!  
DAMN THE TINFOIL, WE ARE ON A ROLL HERE PEOPLE!!!!


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## a_majoor (29 Jun 2006)

How much aluminum foil does this "Big Head" guy need for coverage anyway?


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## GAP (29 Jun 2006)

> He had some awesome stories about "Big Head" and his proclivity towards maple kippers and their use as bedroom aids


see below   :


> He also let slip, however, that the vast majority of ice on Callisto, one of Jupiter's moons, is in fact maple syrup.  Seems that for eons, the Elvis/Jesus fleet has been harvesting maple syrup and storing it there for the "Great Sweetening".  You can tell by the colour of the moon just how much they already have stored:



Yeah, Yeah, he's one of those guys where everything he does is bigger, better, faster, longer, etc. etc..... We used to listen to him in the mess hall at Space Patrol Headquarters. Guess what....he's the dishwasher.   :

I heard that rumor before, but hadn't put much credence to it, but the pic kinda confirms it. For those not familiar with Castillo, I have taken the liberty of pointing out the main maple syrup pools. So, at least in respect to Castillo, he's not blowing hot air after all...go figure.  



> Ultimately, it was a syrup leak that jammed up Jesus control panel and caused him to get stuck in an ice field.  The Savior now listens to our prayers from there, and awaits the day when technology catches up and he is rescued.  He is a loving Savior, albeit sticky and a bit pissed off at Elvis for leaving the syrup ballast plug loose.  The rescue is inevitable, hence, the obvious divine influence in the ongoing plans here.
> We are all part of the grand scheme, and we are making it happen.  Right here. Right now!



Now just hold on there buddy.....this sounds an awful lot like one of those "me too" schemes!!

If the above is correct, how come Jesus was at the party after that big gay parade in TO the other day.  To hear the stories, he wasn't feeling any pain. So much for the jammed up control panel. I think he got out a long time ago, and just to keep from constantly being bothered, left the rumor in place and call forwarded from the control panel. That thar' Elvis guy was pretty good with electric guitars, I figure he helped Jesus out right quick and the two of them cooked this up.  The divine influence and the part of the grand scheme jingles don't hurt and keeps the moral up!

Don't your find it a bit of coincidence that the moment we start talking "Maple Syrup" and " Sticky BunBunnies" suddenly we are offered, at a reasonable cut of course, a whole slew of Maple Syrup, when all we were going to use was Water. There's nothing wrong with water, and besides, have you ever tried to regenerate a stilsuit with Maple Syrup, or who ever heard of Heavy Maple Syrup?

We can still help out those poor little waifs with little bitty pieces of clothes ( > ) with water, you know.... ;D


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## GAP (29 Jun 2006)

a_majoor said:
			
		

> How much aluminum foil does this "Big Head" guy need for coverage anyway?



About the same amount as one of those thingys that go over the pointy end of a rifle in dirty conditions. Just allow for the non-stretching feature.


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## George Wallace (29 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> If the above is correct, how come Jesus was at the party after that big gay parade in TO the other day.  To hear the stories, he wasn't feeling any pain. So much for the jammed up control panel. I think he got out a long time ago, and just to keep from constantly being bothered, left the rumor in place and call forwarded from the control panel. That thar' Elvis guy was pretty good with electric guitars, I figure he helped Jesus out right quick and the two of them cooked this up.  The divine influence and the part of the grand scheme jingles don't hurt and keeps the moral up!
> 
> Don't your find it a bit of coincidence that the moment we start talking "Maple Syrup" and " Sticky BunBunnies" suddenly we are offered, at a reasonable cut of course, a whole slew of Maple Syrup, when all we were going to use was Water. There's nothing wrong with water, and besides, have you ever tried to regenerate a stilsuit with Maple Syrup, or who ever heard of Heavy Maple Syrup?



I think you may have mistaken him for his evil twin brother.  It couldn't have been him.  He would never get caught dead in those clothes.

As for Heavy Maple Syrup, it does exist.  It is found under the Codename of Maple Taffey.  Some early Scotsman is responsible for that discovery.  We won't get into details, as it is on a 'need to know' basis and I don't really want to know - too much information.


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## GAP (29 Jun 2006)

George Wallace said:
			
		

> I think you may have mistaken him for his evil twin brother.  It couldn't have been him.  He would never get caught dead in those clothes.



Hey, he enjoys a good party !! After being stuck on Castillo with Elvis and all his funny clothes, probably wasn't such a big deal. 



> As for Heavy Maple Syrup, it does exist.  It is found under the Codename of Maple Taffy.  Some early Scotsman is responsible for that discovery.  We won't get into details, as it is on a 'need to know' basis



Do you know what that stuff does to a "Co-Generation Generator"?  

Guys, appreciate the suggestion of Maple Syrup and all, but we're going to have to go with water. The Maple Syrup thingy is a generational thing and we just don't have the resources and time to accomplish it.

 So, Water it is.


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## a_majoor (29 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> Guys, appreciate the suggestion of Maple Syrup and all, but we're going to have to go with water. The Maple Syrup thingy is a generational thing and we just don't have the resources and time to accomplish it.
> 
> So, Water it is.



The plot gets thicker all the time. This is just a ploy to substitute less expensive corn syrup for high quality Canadian Maple Syrup! The Big Head has stockpiled maple syrup on Callisto (with Elvis and Jesus standing guard, maybe not the best of plans....), and once the Rocky Mountain Trench is filled with corn syrup it will be allowed to leak out and clog the Fraser and Columbia river basins. Once winter sets in, $300 billion dollars worth of the stuff will set like concrete, blocking the flow of water to the western part of Canada and allowing the dastardly Americans to become net EXPORTERS of water to us to relieve the drought.

Maple syrup, driven off the market by vast quantities of cheap corn syrup will become astonishingly expensive, allowing the Big Head and his cohorts in the Space Patrol to tow chunks of maple syrup from Callisto (and rumor has it there are stashes on other planets as well), aiming it to re enter the Earth's atmosphere above only the finest restaurants so the breakfast crowd will get a dollop of warm Callistian maple syrup delivered right to their pancakes, waffles and toast.

GAP, of course, already knows the rest of the plan (look into the red light, buddy......)


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## zipperhead_cop (30 Jun 2006)

Alright, not a big deal.  We simply task the wet sprimon to have an alternate role to maintain in reasonable quantities stasis chambers containing anti-syrup.  Then, when the gravity funnels get bogged or there is an unmanageable amount of earthside syrup reserve, we can get the water flow going again with an application of anti-syrup.  Plus, carbon fibre nets can be strengthened with a coating of maple syrup, as well as provide a better retention rate for the ice gathered within.  
Plus, with the energy released from the interaction of the syrup/anti-syrup, we can direct that towards melting the incoming space ice to help vaporize it prior to entering the atmosphere, thus rendering it a more manageable mass, not unlike a Sno-Cone tm.
Is it too soon to go public and sell shares for this?


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## George Wallace (30 Jun 2006)

Has anyone wondered if Vex Corps in the Alpha Verse is manipulating this?  Should we be actively recruiting Charlie Jade to do the leg work in exposing any attempts to steal the supplies we have now?  We could have someone sneaking in the 'back door' unnoticed tampering with our water defences.  Is Security onto this yet?


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## Centurian1985 (30 Jun 2006)

Ack!  Still going?   :   Send this thread to the Delta Quadrant already...


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## GAP (30 Jun 2006)

zipperhead_cop said:
			
		

> We simply task the wet sprimon to have an alternate role to maintain in reasonable quantities stasis chambers containing anti-syrup.  Then, when the gravity funnels get bogged or there is an unmanageable amount of earthside syrup reserve, we can get the water flow going again with an application of anti-syrup.  Plus, carbon fibre nets can be strengthened with a coating of maple syrup, as well as provide a better retention rate for the ice gathered within.



Now there's a solution I can live with quite easily...although carbon fibre tends to go limp when generous amounts of Maple Syrup covers it....or was that Sticky Bunnies???  ;D



> Plus, with the energy released from the interaction of the syrup/anti-syrup, we can direct that towards melting the incoming space ice to help vaporize it prior to entering the atmosphere, thus rendering it a more manageable mass, not unlike a Sno-Cone tm.



We would probably have to extend the side of the gravity funnels to avoid splashing local populace, but that could work. Increase our efficiency also, except for the periodic cleaning of the stilsuit regeneration and heavy water filtration systems.  Nice  


> Is it too soon to go public and sell shares for this?


I would be happy to sell you some of "my" shares.




> Has anyone wondered if Vex Corps in the Alpha Verse is manipulating this?



Not this time....we sent them scurrying after some imagined insurgents in the Twitch District about a month ago. Besides, they have an allergic reaction to Maple Syrup concentrate....hehe   >



> Should we be actively recruiting Charlie Jade to do the leg work in exposing any attempts to steal the supplies we have now?



What ??? You think this is Amateur Hour????  The Space Patrol will handle their own security thank you....we just had some new recruits come in and will reassign them to covert operations once trained in the Moon Rock Imitation Course.




> We could have someone sneaking in the 'back door' unnoticed tampering with our water defences.



What back door??....what water defenses? and Yes.... Security is onto this, I sent them a memo, so they will have it by Tuesday, Wednesday at the latest.


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## Jack O. (30 Jun 2006)

"Ack!  Still going?   Roll Eyes   Send this thread to the Delta Quadrant already...   "


Be careful, we all know who is waiting for us in the Delta Quadrant. ;D


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## GAP (1 Jul 2006)

Hewlett said:
			
		

> "Ack!  Still going?   :  Send this thread to the Delta Quadrant already...   "



Of course, there is still much to be done. (such as redefining the internal combustion engine to use only 1 sparkplug), the infrastructure for the Columbia Water Basin (not much sense building all the storage and not using it), and don't forget, that, now that we have confirmed that water will be the primary resource with Maple Syrup as a supplement, there are great and wonderful things to come!



> Be careful, we all know who is waiting for us in the Delta Quadrant. ;D



Well, it can't be Vex Corps from the Alpha Verse , they're in  the Twitch District, so no I don't know what's waiting for us.


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## GAP (1 Jul 2006)

As a sample, here is a nifty little fellow that is presently being build for small engine use.....In a couple of more years the space patrol will use nothing else while in atmosphere.


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## Jack O. (1 Jul 2006)

"Well, it can't be Vex Corps from the Alpha Verse , they're in  the Twitch District, so no I don't know what's waiting for us."

You've forgotten the Borg. Back to the Space Patrol again, I think re-designing the internal combustion engine to require only one spark plug is a step backwards, how about Mr. Fusion Ultra Liquid Fuel Drive? I think that may work best, as it bends space time around itself to create a vortex, which the ship then travels through, giving the passengers the illusion of staying still yet they are moving at infinite velocity. We also could use some plasma pulse battle rifles, as well as proton grenades, etc.


**Edited for my poor spelling.


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## GAP (1 Jul 2006)

> You've forgotten the Borg



No, I haven't forgotten them, it's just that most are in for the level 1V upgrades on critical software analysis systems, I didn't pay them much heed. By the time their central command finishes this round of upgrades, we have implanted the need for a level V requirement....so the cycle becomes endless. Picard really did a number on them years ago, to the point that they have almost like little puppies.  ;D



> Mr. Fusion Ultra Liquid Fuel Drive? I think that may work best, as it bends space time around itself to create a vortex, which the ship then travels through, giving the passengers the illusion of staying still yet they are moving at infinite velocity.



Neat little system, with but one problem....it melts the Maple Syrup Concentrate from Castillo...and if you have ever seen a worm hole clogged with melted Maple Syrup Concentrate, it ain't pretty. Even more funny is what it does to the next guy along !!  ;D


That comment "it bends space time around itself to create a vortex, which the ship then travels through, giving the passengers the illusion of staying still yet they are moving at infinite velocity" only has one little bug. You had better be standing in the irradiance cone when you come to a stop. If you are not, then all the velocity catches up with you....yeesh, what a mess.



> We also could use some plasma pulse battle rifles, as well as proton grenades, etc.


Nag nag nag....that's all I ever hear...for your information the plasma pulse battle rifles have had a recall...remember those, well, apparently if you try to fire when the charge is really low, they draw their power from the nearest organic object and quickly deplete it....you being the "nearest organic object" tends to not go over well.


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## GAP (2 Jul 2006)

Ok people....here's the first of the Space Patrols' ice....come and get it!!!! Funnels up?  Net ready?



> Asteroid set for close encounter with Earth
> Updated Sat. Jul. 1 2006 11:59 PM ET
> http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20060701/asteroid_pass_060701/20060701?hub=SciTech
> Associated Press


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## zipperhead_cop (2 Jul 2006)

"The ringside seat to the cosmic spectacle will be in North America, where amateur sky watchers with good telescopes should be able see the asteroid as a small moving dot in the sky. Europe can also view the flyby, but the asteroid will appear much fainter."

OOOOOOOO!!!!  Clear my schedule!  No body can resist a moving dot!  God bless the geeks and their enthusiasm for minutiae.  

However, we should consider that this "asteroid" is most likely Big Head trying to do a close fly by to see how the gravity funnel production is going.  Best contact Space Patrol to see if they can get their top quality interceptors on deck:


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## Centurian1985 (2 Jul 2006)

Hewlett said:
			
		

> "Ack!  Still going?   Roll Eyes   Send this thread to the Delta Quadrant already...   "
> 
> Be careful, we all know who is waiting for us in the Delta Quadrant. ;D



Ha! Good one!


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## a_majoor (3 Jul 2006)

Hewlett said:
			
		

> "how about Mr. Fusion Ultra Liquid Fuel Drive? I think that may work best, as it bends space time around itself to create a vortex, which the ship then travels through, giving the passengers the illusion of staying still yet they are moving at infinite velocity.



The main reason this never caught on is the vortex interfered with the operation of the cup holder. Having a hot "double double" splatter all over you at infinite velocity is an experience which simply cannot be described or imagined. Many a fine menber of the Space Patrol had to be paid off until the Mr Fusions were retired, or sold to the Chinese Space Patrol (you will notice very little has been heard from them lately, as they have all apparently been incapacitated by scalding tea).

Most modern Space Patrollers use new technology to ride waves of Gravitons across space/time, allowing them to beat the traffic light at the corner of 8th Street and 8th Avenue in Calgary on the way to headquarters.


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