# BMNQ Graduate-August 5



## jaysfan17 (12 Oct 2016)

It’s been awhile since I’ve been on the forums. I was away this summer doing my BMNQ for seven weeks. Since getting back in early August I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on my experience and think about whether or not I want to do this full time. Unfortunately, I am leaning towards pursuing a different career path because of what I have learned over the summer. I don’t want to make a rash decision by leaving and regretting it for the rest of my life because once I leave I’m NOT re-enlisting because the whole application process alone was a pain in the ass. I was hoping for some guidance in this matter, so if anyone who reads this and takes the time to reply this would help me out a great deal. I’m also hoping that some of my experiences will help future recruits as they pursue their careers in the CF.

Over the summer I experienced some stress and a lot of anger. Over time I learned it was just a game as I was initially told by members at my unit, but I didn’t take them too seriously than. We had back to back inspection days and on day 1 the instructor said my gas mask was dirty. So, the next day he looked at it again and said it was perfectly clean. See the thing is I purposely didn’t clean it for the next day just to see what he would’ve said. At that moment I realized “Okay he’s screwing with me”. After this moment it alleviated a lot of unnecessary stress. What contributed most to my stress was the fact that I had about 11-12 counselling’s. A lot of it was for failing tests. I probably failed most tests I was put through and I didn’t know why. I made sure to study every day, but when it came to test time I pulled a Texas Rangers and choked. I believe I was overwhelmed with being away from home this long that it just got to me. At one point my section commander said I didn’t belong in the CF. That one stung because I was working as hard as I could. (I would like to point out that not one of my counselling’s or errors of that matter led to the platoon being punished.)

The only time(s) I ever enjoyed basic was when we were secure at 1800 and I could hang out with the five other guys in my tent (and a couple others) and when we had forced marches. I loved that portion of my training because I was doing all this Army based stuff that I dreamed of as a kid and it was awesome. However, over time the physical activity was getting to me. I suffered an Achilles injury (which I still have issues with now) during week two and it was consistent throughout the course. I also pulled my groin the day before our field phase which really sucked by the time we got out into the field because I had both these nagging injuries and I didn’t want to slow down my fire team partner by complaining and taking it easy. I felt broken and it wasn’t fun, at all. The worst feeling I felt in the field was when we had section attacks. Every attack we had required a gas mask and for those of us who wear glasses this was even more difficult. Therefore, I didn’t shoot without my glasses and every time the same instructor would be on my ass asking me why I wasn’t shooting and I explained that I couldn’t see. I thought he would’ve understood seeing as he wears glasses to. All in all I was relieved to get back to Camp Vimy after the field phase was over because I was out of energy; physically, emotionally, but most of all mentally.

A big factor in what’s influencing me to not stick around full time is the fact that the CF’s recruiting system is flawed beyond belief. There were people at basic that should not have been there based on crappy attitudes, unbelievable medical issues, and sheer stupidity. We had some issues on my basic that I’m sure all of you would agree is not uncommon, which only worries me more. A lot of people are getting in because they are scoring high on an aptitude test. I don’t need an aptitude test to tell me what I can and can’t do. If it were up to me I would still have to aptitude and the personally test, but I wouldn’t have it carry as much value in selecting recruits as it does now. The CF should look at the person and what there about instead of what a test says. I’m sorry if that offends anyone, but it’s true.

Right now I have two jobs (including Reserves) and I’m attending RMC (part time) and I’m having a good time learning. I’m thinking about pursuing a degree for full time studies as well. However, my main goal since I was 10 or 11 was to be in the Infantry. I’m still interested, however I’d need to get corrective eye surgery first, but I’m not too sure about that based on my experience at basic as well as the fact that the Combat Arms in general aren’t getting deployed anywhere due to a lack of opportunity. 

Again, I was just hoping for some guidance from the CF community on these forums to see what you guys think.


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## DAA (12 Oct 2016)

First off, it sounds like your BMNQ was doing or did what it was meant to do, which is to change your way of thinking and responding to stresses that a member of the CAF may experience during their time.  You're not the first person to have these physical and mental challenges and you won't be the last.  There are good times during your training and then there are not so good times, take both of these in stride because there will be more in the future.

You're already a member of the CAF and were subject to the very same "Recruiting System" that made you an offer of employment.  That part is over and done with and now your prospects with the Reserves and future training are in your hands to do what you wish to do.

Other than that, sounds like you are on the right track to become an effective member of your Reserve Unit.    Good luck!


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