# Stupid stuff that does not make sense!



## ArmyAl (30 Apr 2003)

Well this has been my observations over the last 11 years.

Neck flap on the bonnie/helmet: well tickle me pink what on earth were those monkeys thinking about!
Everybody knows the 10/90 rule, 10% knowing what your doing, 90% looking cool, well fart at a sunday mass but with that thing down you might as well tattoo dork on your forehead!
Put cam paint or sun block you turd‘s.

KFS carrier: You wear that you are considered one hardcore motherf***er! NOT, who still use‘s that thing, I would rather stab my eye‘s out then wear that thing, people, we wear the same gitch for days and sleep in swamps, only to be careful not eat without a KFS, where is the logic in that?

Pockets in the buttpack: Ok, I take it that someone took a fashion designer course before they became a soldier, why on god‘s great earth do we have cute pockets in the buttpack, plate that we never use, cup that we never use and whatever else the other pouch was made for, probably the salt and pepper shaker, with cloth napkin.

Web Pouches: We need money they cry, then why do they spend it on useless fabric, divider in the mag pouch, pull straps in the mag/utility carrier pouch and back to the pockets in the buttpack.

5 Mags: ok pass the joint because you have to be high to go into battle with 5 mags, who ever made that decision should be beaten with a blunt object.

C9,C6 gunner: poor *******s, they have C7 mag pouches, would it not be a good idea to give them an extra 3 utility pouches!, it does state in black that it carrys 200 rnds, think about it 4 pouches, right there for you, not digging into your back in a bunnie bag, just a thought.

Seat belts in a MLVW: oh ya strap up because we want to make sure that your face eats the steering wheel, whats the point, DND most likely has seat belts on motorcycles.

The old vs new army: 
Old
Sgt yells: Men it‘s time we get off our %$@#ing butts and take that &*%$ing hill!
Troops: ****  ya!
        Get some!
        Out of my way!
NEW
SGT yells: MEN, it‘s time we get of our f$&king butts and take that F*&king hill!
Troops: Ya right! I joined to get money for
        college not to fight.

        Could you please not use profanity.

        I‘m offended by your use of the single
        gender.
When can I get issued my new cadpat in fighting salmon, that‘s pink if you didn‘t know.

Well that‘s about it for me, have a lot of spare time on my hands today, I am ready for the ball busting on this one.
Do add some stuff.


----------



## 2Lt_Martin (30 Apr 2003)

The neck flap on the new boonie hat... saw a guy in Pet who had this thing on backwards (in front of his face)trying to get away without having to cam up his face. Guess he had a date that night. I will not disclose his rank, must protect the stupid.

Still not sure how he was planning to hit anything he was aiming at...


----------



## Fader (1 May 2003)

hehehehe...  


> NEW
> SGT yells: MEN, it‘s time we get of our f$&king butts and take that F*&king hill!
> Troops: Ya right! I joined to get money for
> college not to fight. **Nice**
> ...


I personally don‘t want to lose my Republican Guard greens over Cadpats... I hear they‘re gargbage in terms of quality.

I joined up to fight, but after realizing I‘d be completly useless in a fight, and would never activly participate in one (unless it meant fighting a ravenous army of the Undead or invading swarm of hostile aliens... in other words... never) I adopted the whole, "OMFG $8000 on top of my salary towards my tuition... I sure as ****  ain‘t gonna release now." attitude.

Plus on top of that, if there‘s ever a war, and there‘s conscription/draft I know that the military has invested a fairly large amount of money training and keeping me; so they won‘t make me a front line soldier, but instead would probably make Jim Bloggins the Numpty civilian draftee take part in Operation Human Shield.

Come to think of it... I really like being in the reserves  >


----------



## combat_medic (1 May 2003)

1. In addition to the pockets in the butt pack: that stupid carry handle

2. The paper thin hood in the new Goretex jackets

3. grenade pouches that grenades won‘t fit into with a crow bar

4. the new gas regulators for the C6 (what were they THINKING?!?!)

5. same crappy @ss, dull, useless bayonet, instead of the American serrated, wire cutting, sharp equivalent bayonet

6. useless women‘s kit: DEU purse, DEU skirt, women‘s winter boots (no, I‘m not making this stuff up)

7. Teaching all soldiers how to do first aid with a triangular bandage, but not issuing them any (yes, this is a medic b|tch)

...that‘s all I can think of for now. I‘m sure I‘ll figure out more later.


----------



## Danjanou (1 May 2003)

The combat bra (and the how much time and money spent on it)


----------



## Danjanou (1 May 2003)

Two more:
The canadian tire "cam" Garrison Dress jacket, for those times when you really needed to cam up in the BOR.

The old 64 pattern chest webbing magazine pouches for the C2. Anybody remember trying to change mags in the prone with those.


----------



## Zoomie (1 May 2003)

SHARP, Ethics - to name a few...

Self-recovery kit on the Iltis - how long did that last before they figured out that it was dangerous?

C79 Optical sight - with rubber, back-up battle sights

The inability to properly teach a QL2/BMQ student the fine art of search/serizure WRT PWs - see note on SHARP

lots more out there - let‘s hear it boys and gals


----------



## stukirkpatrick (1 May 2003)

ML seat belts - On my first ride (in back), we were packed in so tight, seatbelts were unnecessary     
However, I found out the problem with being the first one on...whenever we stopped, 1000+ pounds of gear + personnel would crash into my side...


----------



## ProPatria05 (2 May 2003)

Canteen cup and stand that requires above-mentioned crowbar to get out of canteen cover. Especially fun in winter when your fingers are frozen.


----------



## Recce41 (2 May 2003)

Well folks
 1. 5 Mags is the NATO standard. You get issued more if required. Christ growup.
 2. Pockets in butt pack are to separate you needed kit. SOCKs, AMMO Extra, etc.
 3. C9 gunners are to have one C9 pouch, one C7/8 pouch. He does carry a 2 box bano.
 4. Rubber sights at for that just in case.
 5. The new C6 Gas Reg is FN Standard.
 6. The bayonet what? You want the old 12" Enfield one. Most Armys don‘t use the bayonet anymore. 
 7. The C6 gunner does get issued a pistol and a C8. Remember the C6 is a Crew weapon. When setup in the SF tripod, what does the guuner use. 
 To all GET OUT of the MOMO Mode. F%^&, I‘m getting sick of stupid ****.


----------



## Michael Dorosh (2 May 2003)

The comments on SHARP training are particularly short sighted; I for one am glad the Forces are providing an environment where everyone is impressed with the importance of having respect for one another.  It reflects the values of our society, and I don‘t think a half a day of training is anything to complain about.

Seems kind of late to be complaining about 1964 pattern webbing, too!        Hey, that 1937 Pattern was a real bitch to put together.  Man, does the CF suck!    

Adapt and overcome, people.  How about a thread on how you resolved your kit deficincies?  Would be of more use.  I mean, yeah our bayonets are dull, but they also issue us those Gerbers which was a fantastic idea.  Compare them to the previous pocket knives they issued.  I was astonished that such an expensive looking (and truly useful) piece of kit was being given out so lavishly.


----------



## onecat (2 May 2003)

The combat bra (and the how much time and money spent on it)

Why was that waste........ I‘m sure if you had breast you would be happy they developed sometime that will support them in the field.


----------



## Pikache (2 May 2003)

Well, I wouldn‘t have mind a full day of SHARP training if it was relevant.
I mean, they just repeated common sense stuff, like if someone is offended, then apologize and move on. If someone offended you, go talk to him about it, ad naseum and I fell asleep many times, despite kept being poked by the warrant who was teaching the course.
Well, I suppose some numbnuts need to know common sense stuff.

Now I‘ve heard that the new gas regulator for C6 was really for armoured guys who had trouble changing gas setting in vehicles...
I personally find it annoying, because you have to do a barrel change if you have gas stoppages...
And it‘s a FN standard. Does that mean it makes sense for us to adopt it, especially for infantry guys who prefer the old gas regulator?


----------



## Danjanou (2 May 2003)

Radiohead

All I‘m implying is the time money and effort could have been better utilised eleswhere. 

Ask any woman and they‘ll probably tell you this particular item of clothing is rather personal. There are plenty of sports bras of several makes on the market already. As this is not something that will be seen on inspection (I would hope), would it not have made more sense to simply issue each female soldier a cash advance to purchase said item and allow them to choose whatever is appropriate for their particular circumstances.


----------



## Zoomie (2 May 2003)

As it so happens, that is exactly what happened.  Combat Bra never came to fruition, women are given X dollars to spend each year on applicable sports bras.


----------



## McInnes (2 May 2003)

Actually, I believe the Combat Bra is currently in delivery (well thats the official status anyways). But their just behind (whats new?).


----------



## Tyrnagog (2 May 2003)

I am really, truly sorry for what I am about to do next.

I hope someone is keeping a-breast of that situation!

Please don‘t  :flame:  me to death..  I know it was a horrible pun


----------



## Zoomie (2 May 2003)

LOL, funny guy.

Straight from the CTS website:

The following entitlement exists: All CF women conducting land operations. Members are reimbursed for expenses in acquisition of garments to meet their personal needs.

They can purchase up to $160.00 worth of "support".


Here‘s another wasted piece of kit:  ADATS - failed project out of Quebec.  Nobody wanted to buy them (except the CF, I guess).  Heat signature released by the power unit makes it a rich target for even the most basic of thermal imagery.  We used them during the G8-summit meeting out in Kanaskis - then they went back into maintenance.


----------



## Spr.Earl (2 May 2003)

Well folk‘s what do you expect when those who are making the decision‘s have hardly spent a day in the field and just sit in Faulty Tower‘s, the Puzzle Palace,what ever you want to call 101 Col.By Drive.
They have not left Ottawa except for swan‘s oversea‘s and don‘t know their arse‘s from their elbow when it come‘s down to need‘s and life of the worker bee!


----------



## Jarnhamar (3 May 2003)

What the heck is a MOMO?
Does that mean militia? The Mooooo litia     

Q?Why does the reg force need the militia
A! To teach them how to use e-mail 
har har


All my great humor aside, 
Complaing about the army?
-Trying to run a drivers course with no vehicles alloted for the students to use.
-Trying to run a comms course with no lap topsor j-box‘s etc  for the course to use.
-Making soldiers take a course, on weapons they will likely never even touch, to get promoted.
-C79 optical sight on a light machinegun
-C79 optical site on a rifle. (Yes it shoots great when your on a range, when your in fibua or playing at high speed you barely use even the broken rubber battle sites on top of them)
-Combat bra. Yes it‘s not fair for girls to pay for something they would normally have to buy anyways (??) but at a cost of what, someone said 2 billion? Even if that was a type and it was only 2 million, 2 MILLION?
-soldiers being allowed to get themselves to unhealthy weights. (In the US if someone is over weight they are given a warnings and some other things, if they don‘t shape up they are given the boot)
-Soldiers who fake harassment/assault charges being allowed to stay in the military and NOT sent to jail.
-Taking an act of god to kick a complete moron out of the military.


----------



## Marauder (4 May 2003)

Not being able to afford god**** ammo (at ALL) for a brigade sized CRE.

Whiny pogues who have forced SHARP down our throats because their feelings get hurt when someone laughs at them for being 50 lbs. overwieght and useless.


----------



## Veteran`s son (4 May 2003)

What does SHARP stand for and what is it about please?


----------



## Michael Dorosh (5 May 2003)

SHARP stands for Sexual Harrasment and Racism Prevention; its a couple of hours of classroom instruction reminding all ranks of their responsibilities to each other, their subordinates, their superiors, and the public at large.  Some whiners don‘t like to be reminded that even if they are the greatest thing since sliced bread, they don‘t have the right to go around acting like it.


----------



## Gunnar (5 May 2003)

Adds a whole new meaning to the "sharp end", now doesn‘t it...?


----------



## ProPatria05 (5 May 2003)

SHARP is more than a couple of hours. We spent 2 full days on it during BMQ (reserve) last year.

Having said that, there was a lot of good lessons in it that many have not been exposed to i.e. what is appropriate vs. inappropriate. No different than any corporate policies I have seen.


----------



## Marauder (5 May 2003)

Want the short version?
1. Don‘t play graba$$ with anyone in the chain of command, up or down.

2. Don‘t tell the fat, idle, stupid, and useless that they are any of those things, as that might hurt their feelings, and cause them to go on camera with the CBC and cry their little eyes out.

3. Calling the chick who had a whole platoon pull a train on her a$$ a wh0re is unnacceptable, because that is not politically correct, and does not show the Forces as being an equal opportunity employer of all genders and sexual preferences.

4. THOU SHALT regard all members as equals, even when they are so numpy-****ed as to be a danger to your personal safety on a live-fire range.

So there you go. Real world application: keep your mouth shut and don‘t say anything that will send the weak, stupid, and whorish to embarrass the senior "leadership" on CBC. Do nothing to hoist the bullsh!t flag on all the failed social engineering projects the Liberals have implemented and the gutless DND/CF headshed have aided and abetted. Be a good soldier by sitting quitely by and letting the standards slide down the ****ter. And since you the soldier can‘t be trusted to not say anything "unaccaptable", defer all inquires about the CF from the press to the closest PAffO. Congratulations, you have been properly indoctrinated, oops, I mean SHARPend.


----------



## Spr.Earl (22 May 2003)

Just returned from two week‘s in Texas on exchange and those who had the new floppy were very happy to have the neck flap!
The Temp‘s were in the 40‘s and saved the back of thier neck‘s, were those of us not issued resorted to rag‘s and paper towel hanging from the back of our bush cap‘s to protect our neck‘s.


----------



## Spanky (23 May 2003)

Going to Texes this winter.... better find mine and get it back on!


----------



## Spr.Earl (24 May 2003)

Spanky I don‘t think you have to worry in winter.
The temp‘s are any were form the low 60‘s to mid 70‘s in winter but cold in the morning and at night and some frost as the Texacan‘s told us.
As we were the first Canadaian‘s they had met for most of them and  they asked us about Canada and thought we were lying when we told them about our wheather      .
Had fun telling them we had to get back fast before the igloo melted     

 Also you will find the Texacan‘s very friendly and you‘ll have a great time if you get the chance.
Were you going in Texas?


----------



## Spanky (24 May 2003)

Thanks for the info SprEarl.  If all goes well, we should be in Ft.Hood next January.


----------



## Armymedic (24 May 2003)

How about something we can change.....
What about all the stupid people?  :fifty:  

As for all the kit complaints... 
 :crybaby:  
Thats why we have a team of cbt arms Snr NCOs and officers doing thier best to get us stuff that works and makes sense, despite budget constraints....

You gotta admit its getting better....  :warstory:


----------



## Wilson601 (24 May 2003)

I actually kinda like the dividers in the butt pack so when my foot powder and cam paint blows up from sitting on my ***  all day, it doesn‘t get all over my SHINY-WHEN-WET rain suit when it starts raining like a cow p*ssing on a flat rock.  :skull:


----------

