# Moving Spouse after BMQ - Kingston Thread



## Shadow Cat (2 May 2005)

I have done some research and found out that my husband will be undergoing 6 months of trade training in Kingston.  Will the forces help me and the children to be with him during this training period or am I giong to have to sit here and wait for him to be done and has our first positng instructions?


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## beach_bum (2 May 2005)

Generally, until the mbrs first posting, the military will not move you.  Would you really want to uproot yourself and the children for 6 months and then have to do it all over again anyway?


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## Shadow Cat (2 May 2005)

yes.


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## beach_bum (2 May 2005)

Well, I wish you luck with that, but I really doubt they will cut a posting message for a course that is only six months long.  You are most likely just going to have to be patient.


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## George Wallace (2 May 2005)

Shadow Cat said:
			
		

> I have done some research and found out that my husband will be undergoing 6 months of trade training in Kingston.   Will the forces help me and the children to be with him during this training period or am I giong to have to sit here and wait for him to be done and has our first positng instructions?



As was pointed out, unless this is his first posting you are out of luck.   The military will not normally post families with the members for any period less than twelve months.   Being at the low end of the totem pole, you are not likely to get to move to join him.


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## Canadian Sig (2 May 2005)

I have done that course and when I did it we were on IR (imposed restriction), meaning that my family had to stay put in our home town.


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## Shadow Cat (2 May 2005)

Well that is not good news.  I was told that if it was longer than six months even by a day that we would be able to move.  I don't know if my husband is going to be able to handle being away from us for a year.  It has only been three weeks and he is missing us terribly.


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## 28Medic (2 May 2005)

Shadow Cat...
I hear ya!
My husband has been on course for 7 weeks now, he has 8 months of French to do now, then we just don't know what will happen...worse case scenario is him going on to another course in Portage, Manitoba that is 3 months straight.  Second worse case scenario is that we get posted for temporary OJT (on-the-job-training), we move and then he goes on the 3 months course from there.  That would mean I am stuck in a new place all alone with the 3 kids, while he is gone.
So I almost hope that he goes straight to Portage and we get all the crap over with in a row and I stay put with the kids to keep them stable in the same school and community! I have a pretty good support system set up here right now.
Basically I have resigned myself to thinking this will be a year and a half to two years of crap and then things will be better!

Oddly enough things get easier with the kids the longer he is away, the first bit was hard, then we hit a routine...now if he comes home for a weekend...it throws us off completely and the kids struggle more! Not that I don't enjoy his time at home...it just makes Sundays harder.

To help me through, I just think of all the vacation and block leave he will be getting and the great quality time we will have then!
Cheers!


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## beach_bum (2 May 2005)

Shadow Cat said:
			
		

> Well that is not good news.   I was told that if it was longer than six months even by a day that we would be able to move.   I don't know if my husband is going to be able to handle being away from us for a year.   It has only been three weeks and he is missing us terribly.



Just out of curiousity, who told you that?  Yes, I am sure he is missing you, just as you are missing him, but hang in there.  It seems like forever now, but eventually it will be over.  As 28Medic says, just think of the quality time at the end.


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## Shadow Cat (2 May 2005)

A couple of friends that are currently in the military told me that.  Oh well I will just have to take it one day at a time and see what happens.


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## Canadian Sig (3 May 2005)

When I did the course it was pretty much right after my BMQ and 5 weeks after finishing the sig op course I was in Afghanistan. So my best advice would be to make the most of the time you do get and remember to give him lots of support when he is away. It will get easier and it will get better but seperations are (an unpleasant) part of following this calling.


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## Shadow Cat (3 May 2005)

So when did your family get to move to be with you?  After you got back from Afghanistan?  How often did you get to see your family when you were on course?

My concern is that we won't see him during basic,  his SQ and during his trade training.   A year of not seeing him at all is a lot to ask of anyone.  Especially if right afterwards they ship him off on a tour.  It could be even longer as he may have to wait in Borden his courses to commence.


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## Canadian Sig (3 May 2005)

I can pretty much bet you that he will have to wait in Borden before his trades training starts. What I did when I was waiting was request an opportunity to go do OJT at the base nearest to my home.That wasn't quite all the way home but I did get to see my kids every weekend that way. I remember being at BMQ and thinking I wouldn't get to see my family for a year but don't worry, thats not going to happen. He has time between courses and there are OJT opportunities ( if he asks ) and the military will pay for him to travel to his next of kin once a year if it is far away.


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## Shadow Cat (3 May 2005)

Thanks Canadian Sig for answering all of my questions.  

We will just have to take it one day at a time and see what is in the cards for us.


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## Fruss (19 Nov 2005)

Hey,

I'm thinking of joining as a LCIS Tech and I was wondering what the life in Kingston will be like. Let me explain:

After the BMQ (and SQ if still around), I will have to do the POET and LCIS training at CFSCE in Kingston for about 15 months. I am currently living in Vancouver, BC and have a girlfriend here who would be ready to move.

So here are my questions:

Can we can a PMQ in Kingston for the time of my training?
Can we live off-base during that training so we can get an apartment?
If I don't put my effects in storage, will the army will accept to move my things then instead of at my first posting?

I would appreciate your thoughts.  

Frank


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## Springroll (19 Nov 2005)

A fellow member of this forum is currently in transit to move into the PMQ's in Kingston while her husband does his training. He is currently there on PAT. It didn't take long for them to get their permission but your best bet is to go through your divisional chain. They can help you and answer all your questions, and if they can not, they will put you in contact with someone who can. Always keep them involved, that way they are never blind sided.


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## Fruss (22 Nov 2005)

Thanks Springroll.

Any other thoughts? As I'm not a member yet and would like to have a little idea of what's ahead of me.

Thanks

Frank


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## aesop081 (22 Nov 2005)

Springroll said:
			
		

> A fellow member of this forum is currently in transit to move into the PMQ's in Kingston while her husband does his training. He is currently there on PAT. It didn't take long for them to get their permission but your best bet is to go through your *divisional * chain. They can help you and answer all your questions, and if they can not, they will put you in contact with someone who can. Always keep them involved, that way they are never blind sided.



1) He's not in yet so he doesnt have a chain

2) Divisional chain of comand would apply to the navy ( not to an LCIS trainee)





			
				Frank the Tank said:
			
		

> After the BMQ (and SQ if still around), I will have to do the POET and LCIS training at CFSCE in Kingston for about 15 months. I am currently living in Vancouver, BC and *have a girlfriend here who would be ready to move.*



You and your GF common-law ?  Been living together for a year with documentation to prove it ?  If this is not the case, your chances of getting a PMQ have significantly decreased.


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## Springroll (22 Nov 2005)

Frank the Tank said:
			
		

> Thanks Springroll.
> 
> Any other thoughts? As I'm not a member yet and would like to have a little idea of what's ahead of me.
> 
> ...



Honestly it would all depend on if you even got LCIS. Your best bet is to get in and then ask from there. No point in planning for the future when you are not even sure it is going to happen. Once you get in, I would suggest you message Shadowcat on this website since she is the member who is just in the midst of moving to Kingston to be with her hubby while he is doing his training. She can give you the first hand information, where as I can only give you what she told me. 

Too also reword what I meant by divisional chain, I should have wrote to always keep your *chain of command * in the loop. In other words, your bosses should know whats going on.


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## Springroll (22 Nov 2005)

aesop081 said:
			
		

> You and your GF common-law ?   Been living together for a year with documentation to prove it ?   If this is not the case, your chances of getting a PMQ have significantly decreased.



The documentation is not that necessary. They will give you a common law form to fill out where you and the GF would have to sign stating that you have lived together for a year. It is a legal form, so do not enter into it lightly. 

In 1998 when we signed ours, they did not require any documentation as proof of us residing together. Even recently for a friend of mine, they did not ask for any either. Just keep in mind that once you sign that paper, she will be entitled to half of everything of yours, no different than getting married.


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## beach_bum (22 Nov 2005)

Are you a clerk now?  Don't tell him that the paperwork is not necessary.  Perhaps in your case it was over looked, but as a clerk I know that I ask for it, as do the other clerks I know.  It is the policy to ask for proof.


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## Springroll (22 Nov 2005)

beach_bum said:
			
		

> Are you a clerk now?   Don't tell him that the paperwork is not necessary.   Perhaps in your case it was over looked, but as a clerk I know that I ask for it, as do the other clerks I know.   It is the policy to ask for proof.



Well then I guess it is time to retrain all the clerks on both coasts because I know of alot of others that have never had to submit proof, and only had to submit the signed common law doc's.


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## beach_bum (22 Nov 2005)

You are missing the point.  You are advising someone of something that is against the policy.  Just because you know of a couple of people who had things happen, doesn't mean he won't be asked.  They didn't follow policy, but I can guarantee you, the majority of clerks DO follow the policy.


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## Springroll (22 Nov 2005)

beach_bum said:
			
		

> You are missing the point.   You are advising someone of something that is against the policy.   Just because you know of a couple of people who had things happen, doesn't mean he won't be asked.   They didn't follow policy, but I can guarantee you, the majority of clerks DO follow the policy.



re-read what I wrote...better yet, here ya go:

The documentation is not *that* necessary. They will give you a common law form to fill out where you and the GF would have to sign stating that you have lived together for a year. *It is a legal form, so do not enter into it lightly*. 

In 1998 when we signed ours, they did not require any documentation as proof of us residing together. Even recently for a friend of mine, they did not ask for any either. *Just keep in mind that once you sign that paper, she will be entitled to half of everything of yours, no different than getting married*.


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## beach_bum (22 Nov 2005)

Springroll said:
			
		

> The documentation is not *that* necessary.



I read what you wrote.  I am not saying that your point on not taking common-law lightly was wrong.  You are right on that point.  It's the statement above where you are WAY off base.  Until you are in a position to change our policies, you CAN NOT say what is or isn't necessary.


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## Springroll (22 Nov 2005)

beach_bum said:
			
		

> I read what you wrote.   I am not saying that your point on not taking common-law lightly was wrong.   You are right on that point.   It's the statement above where you are WAY off base.   Until you are in a position to change our policies, you CAN NOT say what is or isn't necessary.



I was going by what has be proven time and time again with the clerks that not only my husband and I have dealt with, but with clerks that friends of ours have dealt with.

If I recall correctly, the Common Law form that people have to sign is more of an affidavit, right?


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## beach_bum (22 Nov 2005)

Okay.  Listen up!  I am a clerk and have been for 12 years now.  I also spent several years working in recruiting.  During that time, I can assure you that I and all the clerks that I worked with have asked for proof that the couple in question have lived together for a year.  Just because you can give examples of people doing things wrong, it does NOT make you an expert on ANYTHING.  Can I make it any more simple for you or do I need to draw you a picture!?!


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## Springroll (22 Nov 2005)

a picture would be nice....hehehe just kidding.

I know what you are saying, trust me. I am just goign by the umpteen clerks that my husband or friends of ours have dealt with. Some clerks take their job seriously and ask for everything, many are not that way. You should also keep in mind that the person who asked the question is not a child and I am pretty sure that by 27, he knows how to do things, such as geting proof.

There is nothing, other than having a rental lease together, that can prove that some people truly are common law. The Common law form that is given to people(at least in 1998) to sign is an affidavit stating that yes you have either A) lived togther for a year, B)have a child together, or C)residing together to the point where you consider the other person your spouse. 

My hubby said he will check a copy of it out tomorrow to see if it is wrong.


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## George Wallace (22 Nov 2005)

OK

You are 2 and 0.

Time to go to your corners.


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## Michael OLeary (22 Nov 2005)

I know this is locked for a time-out, but I am going to add these comments for consideration anyway.

The criteria for recognition of common-law relationships by the CF are defined at CFAO 19-41.

CFAO 19-41 -- COMMON-LAW RELATIONSHIPS
http://www.admfincs.forces.gc.ca/admfincs/subjects/cfao/019-41_e.asp

While specific documentary requirements are not identified, there is a very clear requirement to establish that the applying member and the alleged common-law spouse  "have resided together as husband and wife continuously for at least one year immediately preceding the application or, if a child has been born to them, are residing together as husband and wife with the child".

Consider, for example, a service member who has been with a unit for years, who is known to his or her supervisor, whose living arrangements have been declared in personnel interviews and detailed in supervisor's staff notes, whose co-habiting partner may well be known by the supervisor. This individual has a chain of command that can vouch for the validity of their claim (see Annex A at Ref) when presented to an officer for completion of the Statutory Declaration (see Annex C at Ref).

Now, imagine a new recruit asking about common-law relationships and possible entitlements. Entitlements that could be very costly to the system when you are talking about moving spouse/family, move of  F&E, and PMQ entitlements, etc. The recruit has no chain of command at the time, has no-one in the system that knows their situation, or that could possible vouch for them from within the CF.

In the latter case, a clerk at the CFRC must still take that member and his/her Statutory Declaration to one of the officers for signing. Now, there still remains a requirement to certify that the requirements of the "Stat Dec" have been met.

In order to do their job, that clerk MUST ask for documentary proof of the individual's living arrangements to establish that the year of cohabitation requirement has been met.

All this to say that the example of a serving member includes factors other than the sterile demand for "proof" and does not necessarily represent a sound example for a recruit's inquiries - what can be done within unit lines is often very different than the handling of a new recruit in a formal by-the-book fashion.


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## Michael OLeary (22 Nov 2005)

Unlocked for further input. To remain so only as long as participants remain rational and polite to one another.


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## Fruss (23 Nov 2005)

Springroll and beach_bum: Thanks for your input. I would be happy to hear what else you have to say REGARDING THE SUBJECT.

Anyone else has something to say?

Thanks guys

Frank


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## spud (24 Nov 2005)

Frank the Tank said:
			
		

> Anyone else has something to say?
> 
> Frank



Many, many moons ago I was attending training, my children (was a single parent at the time) were home with my girlfriend. I explained my situation to my instructors and also got the base chief on side - small base.. They allowed me to live off base while in training as long as I maintained a bed space, same as everyone else. Was told by all involved to keep all receipts for my move, I had to pay the shot initially,  and ask for reimbursement after they were moved. I asked and they accomodated. After getting everything done they also allowed me to put my name on the PMQ list. Not long after that I got a PMQ. 

Is it still the same? I don't know, each situation and location is probably different.  I am firmly convinced that things went my way because I was upfront, never kept anyone out of the loop, did as I was told, especially by the clerks because they are nose in the regs everyday and when they helped me at different stages I made sure to let them know I appreciated it. And I mean everybody, personally thanked the base chief on down. 

just my $.02

potato


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## zander1976 (20 Jul 2013)

Hello, 

I have searched the forums and talk to the recruiters but I haven't an answer. I was wondering about my wife after I complete basic. Will my wife be able to joining me while I am in training in Kingston? How hard is it to get approved to have your wife moved and does anybody have any tips to make that process smoother? I was offered an ATIS position so I will be going to Kingston for x weeks for POET (doesn't say how many weeks on the website anymore) and then 20 weeks of job specific training. 

The clerk at the recruiters office said that I will need to request permission to have my wife moved to Kingston. My wife is a civilian so she isn't locked to anywhere.  In fact, they said that during my training time, my wife shouldn't move at all or the military will not move me to my first posting. I understand the job I have selected will separate my wife but that seems over the top. She wants to move to Kingston now and start school. It's bad enough to say that I will be gone for a year but it's even worse when I say that you are stuck here too. 

Does anybody know how hard is it to get approval to have her move? Can I pay for the move myself? If she isn't going to be moved until my first posting then can she move around and enjoy her free time?

Thank you,


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## PuckChaser (20 Jul 2013)

Postings to training are typically restricted, your wife won't be able to accompany you (on the CF's dime). You're also going to have to live in the barracks, and your roommates won't want to share bedspace.


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## zander1976 (20 Jul 2013)

Thanks, is it possible to get off restriction?


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## PuckChaser (20 Jul 2013)

zander1976 said:
			
		

> Thanks, is it possible to get off restriction?



No, restricted postings are for people in the training system. Imagine the cost of moving your family around if you enrolled in BC, moved to Kingston for training for a year, then to Cold Lake for your first posting. Cross country moves are in the tens of thousands of dollars of cost to the crown.


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## SupersonicMax (20 Jul 2013)

It depends what trade.  I finished school, was posted to Winnipeg for 9 months, Moose Jaw for 13 and Cold Lake for 19 months.  Short postings all during training.


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## zander1976 (20 Jul 2013)

Thank you, the cost isn't a problem. I have no problem paying to get her to Kingston but then that causes other problems. Do people really go to training for a year+ and leave there family behind? I can understand that on tour but I am safely sitting in Canada and my wife isn't going to understand that.


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## PuckChaser (20 Jul 2013)

The length of POET is listed on the forums here somewhere, I believe its in the neighbourhood of 8 months. Then you have your ATIS QL3 course which is another couple months. SSM is a pilot and has a longer than most training cycle.

This being said, depending on how close your wife is to Kingston, you can maybe go home on weekends (if not confined to barracks), and you'll have block leave over Christmas. So it isn't 18 months without seeing your wife at all.


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## zander1976 (20 Jul 2013)

Hey PuckChaser,

Thank you, if you memory serves me correctly then POET is 32 weeks and 20 weeks for trade specific training. We live in PEI so I won't be coming home on the weekends I don't believe? Do you get to go home between courses, like bmq -> poet -> course specific training? I have to figure out how I am going to explain this to the wife. She was fine with 14 weeks for BMQ but she is going be very surprised when I say something about an extra 52 weeks of training.  

Thank you,


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## PuckChaser (20 Jul 2013)

There should be some leave inbetween your courses, depending on how long you have to wait. You get 20 annual days a year, but you can't take them while you're on course (save Christmas leave). Its a tough situation, but unfortunately its something everyone in the CF had to deal with. You're just unlucky that your training is a lot longer than most.


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## 421_434_226 (20 Jul 2013)

If it comes to pass that you are separated for this period of time rest assured that it will pass amazingly fast especially with modern means of communication.


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## zander1976 (20 Jul 2013)

Thank you all.. I think my wife is going to move to Kingston to be a student at Queens University so that should keep her busy.


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## Pusser (20 Jul 2013)

There are a few things that need to be considered here:

1)  I know you didn't ask this question, but it needs to be emphasized.   Don't even think about moving while you're on BMQ.    You won't have time to see your wife and it will only cost you money.

2)  Once you're in Kingston, you can ask to have your wife moved.  All they can do is say no.  The actual answer will depend on your individual circumstances and your school's policies.

3)  If the answer is no and your wife still wants to move, there is NOTHING the CF can do to stop her (she is, after all, a civilian and not subject to CF rules or regulations).  However, beware that the CF has absolutely no obligation whatsoever to support you in this.  Do not take this decision lightly and keep in mind that it could cost you money that will not be reimbursed.  If your wife does join you in Kingston and you are then attach-posted (all the negative effects of a posting with none of the benefits) or sent on temporary duty, what will you do then?  Will she be happy to be stuck in Kingston for the duration of your attach-posting or temporary duty or will she pack up and move again (again on yours/her dime)?  This is a question only you and she can answer.

The bottom line is that the CF can do nothing to stop your wife from moving close to wherever you are.  However, the CF is under no obligation to support your decision either.  If things go south and you end up bankrupt as a result of what you did without permission, your complaints may well fall on deaf ears.

Ask questions.  Make sure you ask the right questions.  Make sure you understand what you are asking.  Make sure you understand the answer you receive and make sure that the answer you receive actually answers the question you asked.  This all may seem obvious, but I have seen many situations where a member has asked a loaded question in order to get the answer they wanted, but was later caught out because although the answer they received was correct for the scenario they had described, the scenario they described was not what actually played out.


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## zander1976 (20 Jul 2013)

Hey Pusser, 

Thank you very much. I will certainly be giving this a lot of thought. 

Thank you,


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## PuckChaser (20 Jul 2013)

I did my training in the reserves, so I'm not entirely sure, but wouldn't moving his wife away from his place of enrollment really mess up the movement of his F&E once he gets his QL3 training? The CF would be expecting to move it all from PEI, only to find you no longer have a residence there.


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## Pusser (21 Jul 2013)

PuckChaser said:
			
		

> I did my training in the reserves, so I'm not entirely sure, but wouldn't moving his wife away from his place of enrollment really mess up the movement of his F&E once he gets his QL3 training? The CF would be expecting to move it all from PEI, only to find you no longer have a residence there.



It most certainly can screw things up.  This is why he needs to ask questions and get answers.  As long as they're willing to accept the consequences of their decisions, they should be OK.


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## RedMan (21 Jul 2013)

I signed on as LCIS, got a POET bypass, so I could have gone on to my QL3 in Kingston right away. Then ACISS happened which had many army sigs guys stuck in Kingston with no answers as to what our courses were and when they were going to start,etc...

I was told I may not start course for a year. I owned a home, so they would definetly NOT move my family to Kingston. Very frustrating to not know what is happening with you and just sitting on PAT forever. I was unable to go home to see my wife and kids as it was too far away and I didn't have a second car.  So I was unable to see my family except for mostly holidays for almost 1.5 years while not having Internet for alot of that time....I was finally able to do my DP1.0 (3 months) and get posted and move my family to my posting.

Main point of the story is.... until you are QL3 qualified and posted, the CF ain't gonna cover you for jack. Moving your wife somewhere will you are training can cause problems as well.

You may just have to stick it out like myself and others had to. I know its not the same as what the recruiters "may" have told you.... (i was told they would move my family to kingston) all i can say is get used to it. I've had more than a few things not happen that I were supposed to....

How the heck did you get ATIS? I know myself and others that wanted it and were told it was not available...

Good luck...


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## zander1976 (21 Jul 2013)

Hey Daywalker, 

Thanks for the warning. It wasn't my first pick but they wanted me to go ATIS. I was in the process of taking electronics engineering with a focus on communications and I worked in IT for 15+ years. I think I was only merit listed for a few days before I got two offers for ATIS (one PLAR and one not).  

Thank you,


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## PuckChaser (21 Jul 2013)

Daywalker said:
			
		

> How the heck did you get ATIS? I know myself and others that wanted it and were told it was not available...



Different numbers for recruiting into trades vice internal recruitment (as well as OUTCAP on your trade), or did you originally want to join up as ATIS?


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## RedMan (22 Jul 2013)

Yah, I originally wanted to join up as ATIS, but was told it wasn't open, which is why I had to go with LCIS.

Here's to hoping for ATIS or AVS in the future...


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## Eye In The Sky (22 Jul 2013)

zander1976 said:
			
		

> Hey Daywalker,
> 
> Thanks for the warning. It wasn't my first pick but they wanted me to go ATIS. I was in the process of taking electronics engineering with a focus on communications and I worked in IT for 15+ years. I think I was only merit listed for a few days before I got two offers for ATIS (one PLAR and one not).
> 
> Thank you,



Keep in mind every situation is different and things have changed a lot, but a close friend went thru as ATIS and was able to move his family up to K-town and into a PMQ once he got to CFSCE.  Not saying that means you will but just saying it has happened in the past.

If the School still allows it, you will be able to request permission once you are on the ground.  But, I've learned "hope for the best, prepare for the worst" with military life, particularly while in the trg system before your first posting.

Good luck.


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## RedMan (23 Jul 2013)

Correct me if I am wrong, but is the reason why the school (CFSCE) may NOT move your family because the cost comes out of their own budget and they don't want to spend money on someone who may not even pass their course,etc.. ? I know when you own a home they definetly won't because that is a big cost.

I guess the schools aren't used to having older guys like me go through who have a mortgage and a family... it was REALLY frustrating seeing the younger guys (who didn't own a home) get their families moved to Kingston, and all you could do is sit there and be pissed...

It NEVER hurts to ask and try... but yah, I tend to expect the worst as well...


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## Pusser (27 Jul 2013)

The decision is to move or not to move a family.  The cost is not part of the decision.  We do not move the small family of one member because they live in an apartment and then refuse to move another member with the same career status because he has six kids and house in Victoria.  It's also not up to the unit to determine this.  Cost moves don't come out of unit budgets (local moves, which are a different kettle of fish, do come out of unit budgets, but that's not what we're talking about here).


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## MrsMurray (28 Jan 2014)

I've looked on the forums but can only find bits and pieces of info pertaining to my questions, and most is dated a few years back. So I am hoping I can find a few answers here.

My husband is currently at BMQ. He started in October of last year, but had to do a couple extra months in warrior, which extended his time that he now has to be away. During that time, I developed some serious medical problems. He almost came home, but I told him to stay because I didn't want him to lose this amazing opportunity that he has worked so hard to get. He's finally back on platoon now and will be graduating April 10th (as long as everything for him goes all right, knock on wood!). But unfortunately my medical issues have become worse. His trade is ACISS, and he's been trying to get information on what's next after BMQ. He's found different things, and so far at this time he believes he will be going to either Kingston or Aldershot. He'd prefer Aldershot because then he's only about an hour away from where we live, but we'd much rather be able to live under the same roof so that he can provide the assistance I need. 

My big question, is if I will be able to move with him after he finishes BMQ, or how long will we have to wait before we are able to live together again. Currently I live on my own with no family help, which has become difficult what with my medical problems. I try not to stress him out whenever he is able to call, because I know he needs to focus on his training and worrying about me won't help, but he knows I'm lying when I say "Everything's fine, tests came back fine and doctors say I'm doing great." I don't want to be the cause of his worry and stress. Will he be able to put a special request considering the circumstances, to have me moved up? Or will we have to remain apart for another year or so until he's completely done training? 

I know this is the life I've accepted, and that during his career we will have many long periods of separation, but the unforeseen addition of my medical issues does make things more difficult. Any information would be greatly appreciated.


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## DAA (28 Jan 2014)

Short answer, NO, you won't be able to move with him after BMQ.  You will only be able to relocate once he has completed all of his required training, which will probably be the SQ and ACCIS trg which will be in Kingston.  SQ is conducted at various locations.

He can put in a special request, but whether or not that would be entertained is another question.


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## NavyHopeful (13 Apr 2014)

MrsMurray said:
			
		

> I've looked on the forums but can only find bits and pieces of info pertaining to my questions, and most is dated a few years back. So I am hoping I can find a few answers here.
> 
> My husband is currently at BMQ. He started in October of last year, but had to do a couple extra months in warrior, which extended his time that he now has to be away. During that time, I developed some serious medical problems. He almost came home, but I told him to stay because I didn't want him to lose this amazing opportunity that he has worked so hard to get. He's finally back on platoon now and will be graduating April 10th (as long as everything for him goes all right, knock on wood!). But unfortunately my medical issues have become worse. His trade is ACISS, and he's been trying to get information on what's next after BMQ. He's found different things, and so far at this time he believes he will be going to either Kingston or Aldershot. He'd prefer Aldershot because then he's only about an hour away from where we live, but we'd much rather be able to live under the same roof so that he can provide the assistance I need.
> 
> ...



I'll echo the "Short answer - NO" sentiment, but I'll add a longer explanation, and a couple of options, having had something along the same lines as both your situation and the Original poster's question.

It took me around 9 months to complete BMQ.  Between being out of shape when I got there (I'm not proud of it, but it is what it is and I'm trying), condemned to WFT for what seemed like eternity, injured on my second platoon only to end up in WFT again, and finally graduating at the 9 month mark.  My first son was born the 2nd week into BMQ.  Math is fun here...

After BMQ, I was sent to CFNES in Halifax for my QL3 course.  It took a little under a year for this course to be completed, what with 2 semesters academics and one semester of applications (hands-on the gear), it ended up being in the ball park of 10 months or so, leave blocks included.

During the time on my 3s, I put in a memo to have my posting status changed from "PROHIBITED" (meaning I couldn't move my family) to "RESTRICTED" (which meant the CF could assist me with a cost move, but I wouldn't be getting my cost move through Brookfield, where all the benefits are).  I used the extra time away from my wife, and the fact that I hadn't seen my son for more than 30 days of his natural life since he was born. After discussions with my wife over the pros and cons of the Military's cost move vs. the Brookfield cost move, we decided that the benefits of the Brookfield move were better for us, and I got internet, and Skype home like every night.  (My wife says it was kinda cute watching her 30-something husband do his homework on the computer while his toddler son was playing peekaboo with daddy on the monitor...  I thought it was better than nothing)

Anyways, at the risk of dragging this out...  A friend of mine, who was at BMQ with me, had somewhat of a similar scenario.  However, he was unable to allow the conditions at which his family were living in back home to continue, and in order to ease his state of mind, and to ensure that his mind was on his studies and not worrying about the safety and welfare of his family, he was permitted to relocate his family.  I believe there might have been a few stipulations to his agreement, but I am unaware as to what they are at the moment.

I know, benefit-wise, that we are told that when we come out of BMQ and on to our 3s, we are to live in barracks (although, in some cases guys/gals get apartments off-base), we are unable to acquire PMQs (and the wait is horrendous for some of them), and I don't think we are allowed to claim PLD unless we were already living in that area (IE: guy goes to BMQ, leaves family in Halifax, gets posted to CFNES on 3s course, and lives with family, etc...)

The rub of this novella, is that this is within the Navy trades.  So me getting posted to CFNES in Halifax, and then getting posted to a ship in Halifax, it was a pretty safe bet that I'd be staying here.  Now, if I had moved my family out here while on course, and they sent me to the west coast, I'd be up pooper creek without a paddle.

The best advice has pretty much been given on the subject here, and that is for your spouse to ask every question he/she can think of with regards to what he/she is entitled to, or what constitutes any compassionate moves.  If there is a serious medical consideration, he can bring that up to his CoC, and they might be able to assist you.  They're not always scary and intimidating as usually portrayed.  In fact, every CoC I've had has gone out of their way to ensure that even if we are being "belt-fed" (well, you know), that at least they'll try to do what they can to make it less crappy.

Good luck.

Rev


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## neacha67 (20 Sep 2017)

Hi, I am currently waiting for my interview and have applied to be a steward. I have a few questions:

Is it possible to live on base while my husband lives in another province? Would they let me return home maybe once a month or every few months. If I was deployed would they give me leave to go home when I returned to base. I have a wedding in June would they give me time off if I was finished my training? 
My husband has a career that is very specialized and would not be able to move for a few years. Does the forces try and help make that work if you live away from your husband? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!!!

Laura


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## kratz (20 Sep 2017)

The site’s search function is poor, but using this search term with Google usually finds many useful topics:

"site:navy.ca [insert question]"

I tried searching with "site:navy.ca family training" and came up with:

navy.ca/forums/threads/100684.0
navy.ca/forums/threads/89434.0
navy.ca/forums/threads/93156.50
navy.ca/forums/threads/120571.0

and came up with "site:navy.ca move family" :

navy.ca/forums/threads/30291.0
navy.ca/forums/threads/91413.0
navy.ca/forums/threads/60260.0
navy.ca/forums/threads/101480.0

and came up with "site:navy.ca wedding" :

navy.ca/forums/threads/1366.0
navy.ca/forums/threads/65176.0


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## neacha67 (20 Sep 2017)

Great thanks so much!!


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## George Wallace (20 Sep 2017)

kratz said:
			
		

> The site’s search function is poor, but using this search term with Google usually finds many useful topics:
> 
> "site:navy.ca [insert question]"
> 
> ...



It may help if you added the links to those topics.  [ url=__________ ]navy.ca/forums/threads/100684.0[/url ]


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## GunnerSun (21 Sep 2017)

General insight...
During training you usually live on base unless you already lived there.
If you can take leave you can travel during your leave eg. On weekends, long weekends or breaks between courses. 
If you get deployed, you may be able to take leave to return home if there is enough people to sail without you, the ship is in a long port visit, and you may even be able to claim the trip and get some money back. Usually leave to travel home could only happen once or twice in a 6-7 month deployment. 
You can take leave for your wedding if it's approved by your chain of command- so you'd request it early or as soon as possible- chances of getting approved leave are better if you're not on training, but even on training you may be able to take a few days if you can catch up on the course material. Sometimes it's tough to negotiate time off early, sometimes it's easy.
The CAF will try to keep you together once you've lived together as a Common Law or married couple. Sometimes this can't be accommodated for service reasons eg. a hard-sea trade marries a hard-field trade while they live apart. Sometimes it can be accommodated. Some trades are more compatible than others for service couples. Hope this helps! If you want to talk you can pm me 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## neacha67 (21 Sep 2017)

Thanks for the information it was very helpful!!


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## PuckChaser (21 Sep 2017)

Keep in mind the CAF is going to eventually expect your spouse to move with you. During training, depending on trade and course length you'll likely be not able to move your family to you. Your husband should take that time to get ready to move on completion of your course. If you start your career by wanting an IR move, it will reflect well. You may also request your first posting to where your husband is (if there is a base with positions there), provided its reasonable that a brand new person in the trade would go there. To secure better chances of that request being granted, be at, or near the top of your course.

If you find a few years into your career that you have too many conflicting priorities between yours and your husband's work, you'll need to sit down and make some hard choices. The RegF lifestyle is not for all family situations, and you may be able to consider the Reserves or changing trades (if you're able) that might match your situation better. Never expect to be able to stay at a base for 15 years because your husband has a good job.


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## neacha67 (22 Sep 2017)

Sounds good thanks!


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## PuckChaser (22 Sep 2017)

Just noticed it should have said "IR as first posting won't reflect well". I hope the rest was clear enough with that horrible typo in the middle.


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## neacha67 (22 Sep 2017)

What does IF stand for?


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## mariomike (22 Sep 2017)

neacha67 said:
			
		

> What does IF stand for?



IR = Imposed Restriction

As in,"IR as first posting won't reflect well". 

IR
https://www.google.ca/search?rls=com.microsoft%3Aen-CA%3AIE-Address&rlz=1I7GGHP_en-GBCA592&dcr=0&q=site%3Aarmy.ca+IR&oq=site%3Aarmy.ca+IR&gs_l=psy-ab.3...47095.49948.0.50540.23.11.0.0.0.0.285.1071.8j1j1.10.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..18.0.0....0.ZL_0U8EKghI

Imposed Restriction (IR)
https://www.google.ca/search?q=site%3Aarmy.ca+%22imposed+restriction%22&sourceid=ie7&rls=com.microsoft:en-CA:IE-Address&ie=&oe=&rlz=1I7GGHP_en-GBCA592&gfe_rd=cr&dcr=0&ei=PYnFWaegG4aR8QelqprIDA&gws_rd=ssl

You will read many acronyms and abbreviations on this site. Perhaps you will find this helpful,

"Acronyms & Abbreviations of The CAF"
https://army.ca/forums/threads/17309.0

Canadian Military Acronyms
https://army.ca/wiki/index.php/Canadian_Military_Acronyms#I


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## neacha67 (22 Sep 2017)

Excellent thanks for the info!!


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## mariomike (22 Sep 2017)

neacha67 said:
			
		

> Excellent thanks for the info!!



You are welcome. Good luck.


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