# Civillian Friends



## EastVan (12 Sep 2010)

It looks like I am going to be joining up right after my next ear surgery( super excited ;D), so I will probably be leaving Vancouver next year. I'm 17 and in highschool.

Many of my friends support me in my decision, as well as there is many who think I'm an idiot. Many people say I will either A) Die right away or B) Turn into a 'robot'. I am aware these opinions are based on misconceptions nor do they affect my decision overall. I usually just laugh it off, jokingly saying I'm joining 'cuz i cant read'. 

This did get me wondering though, if it was common for CF members to lose contact with or cease to associate with their civillian buddies?  If so why? Does the military radically change one's personality? Or would it be because people simply don't approve of the career choice?

Answers and opinions would be greatly appreciated.


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## aesop081 (12 Sep 2010)

EastVan said:
			
		

> If so why? Does the military radically change one's personality? Or would it be because people simply don't approve of the career choice?



Neither. You will live a life that is difficult for people to understand. You will see the world as it is ( not as they think it is) and have experiences that people will not be able to relate to. You can have all the freinds you want, civillan or otherwise but some just won't "get it".


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## acooper (12 Sep 2010)

If these "friends" can't support you in a well-thought-out decision, are they really your friends? Just something to consider...

And no, I wouldn't say joining up radically changes someone's personality. I think it can effect a greater level of maturity, eventually, which to the less mature, may seem like a personality change. I think it's comparable to the difference between classmates who go away to university, and those who stay at or close to home after high school. Life experiences end up making a big difference in such things, in my experience.


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## Ex-Dragoon (12 Sep 2010)

> I am aware these opinions are based on misconceptions nor do they affect my decision overall. I usually just laugh it off, jokingly saying I'm joining 'cuz i cant read'.



You are also reinforcing negative stereotypes that they have about the CF, how do you expect them to support you when you jokingly put down the CF at the same time?


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## daftandbarmy (12 Sep 2010)

EastVan said:
			
		

> It looks like I am going to be joining up right after my next ear surgery( super excited ;D), so I will probably be leaving Vancouver next year. I'm 17 and in highschool.
> 
> Many of my friends support me in my decision, as well as there is many who think I'm an idiot. Many people say I will either A) Die right away or B) Turn into a 'robot'. I am aware these opinions are based on misconceptions nor do they affect my decision overall. I usually just laugh it off, jokingly saying I'm joining 'cuz i cant read'.
> 
> ...



The guys will think you're a dork... the women will think you're Tom Cruise in 'Top Gun', well, many of the better looking ones (whose  boyfriends still live in mummy's basement playing X box) will anyways. Enjoy it while it lasts, and post lots of cool looking shots of yourself in uniform - looking endlessly wise in the ways of the world - on your Facebook page


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## Pusser (13 Sep 2010)

The other thing to remember is that EVERYBODY changes over time.  Whether you join the CF or stay home and work at McDonald's, five years from now, your circle of friends will have changed.  Some will have dropped out, others will have joined.  As everybody matures, they will go their own separate paths.  You need to make sure you choose your own path.  If you join the CF, you will make some new friends, but even they will come and go as you move from posting to posting.  Your true old friends back in your hometown will still be in touch for years to come.  Don't worry about the others.  If it makes you feel better, I still keep in touch with two guys I literally played in the sandbox with and I haven't lived in that town in 30 years!


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## EastVan (13 Sep 2010)

Thanks for the replies.

If anything, I wish to break ties with most of the people I know in Vancouver. It's just kind of weird that I get such an overwhelmingly negative response when I reveal my career choice to people I know. It doesn't really bother me though, I just do my thing.


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## Fishbone Jones (13 Sep 2010)

Some may think this a little corny. I think it encapsulates everything we try to convey but sometimes don't.

*A SOLDIER'S SAYING

I was that which others did not want to be;
I asked not from those that gave not and
accepted the thought of eternal lonliness should I fail;
I have seen the face of terror;
Felt the stinging cold of fear; and,
enjoyed the sweet taste of a moments love.
I have cried, pained and hoped, but most of all, 
I have lived times others would say are best forgotten.
At least someday I will be able to say I was proud of who I was;
A SOLDIER.*


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## Lumber (13 Sep 2010)

EastVan said:
			
		

> Thanks for the replies.
> 
> If anything, I wish to break ties with most of the people I know in Vancouver. It's just kind of weird that I get such an overwhelmingly negative response when I reveal my career choice to people I know. It doesn't really bother me though, I just do my thing.



If they aren't supportive of your choices, then they aren't the best of friends are they?

I have several friends who don't like the fact that one of my best friends and I both joined the military, especially when my friend decided to volunteer for Afghanistan (he's navy as well). However, as much as they hate the idea of the military and war and all the like, they support us 100%, and hope the best for us. 

Just my 2cents. :2c:


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