# Hickies



## Kid_X (12 Sep 2006)

Is there a regulation that would come into effect here?  I have a doctor's appointment Friday, and the SEM annual briefing is next Monday, is a collared shirt in order?


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## George Wallace (12 Sep 2006)

My God Kid!  Hickies are worse than Tattoos.  You'll have to call and cancel or you will be in for a very difficult medical.  Did you swap spit too?  You'll have to have throat swabs taken.  Probably have blood drawn to see if you caught anything.  My God....the tests that they will now have to do......


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## armyvern (12 Sep 2006)

Well I'm not quite sure what to say to this one. 

I highly recommend wearing whatever the Dress of the Day is....and perhaps some make-up.

I'd also like to add this:

If he's/she's sucking on your neck... you don't quite have the area maps figured out yet; grid reference is way too high.


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## 17thRecceSgt (12 Sep 2006)

ArmyVern said:
			
		

> I he's/she's sucking on your neck... you don't quite have the area maps figured out yet; grid reference is way too high.



I needed something funny today and that was it.  Heck, I almost laughed.   :-\  (It was funny, just...well crappy week so far.  Next week when I read it again, it will be very funny).

No one mentioned the "rubber glove" test yet.  Did they get rid of that with the probe?

*edit - I think this one is going to go down the trough FAST!


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## Quag (12 Sep 2006)

ArmyVern said:
			
		

> I he's/she's sucking on your neck... you don't quite have the area maps figured out yet; grid reference is way too high.



HAHAHA!  If that's the most progress you've made during FROSH week, it's time to move onto a new girl!
 ;D ;D ;D ;D


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## p_imbeault (12 Sep 2006)

ArmyVern said:
			
		

> I he's/she's sucking on your neck... you don't quite have the area maps figured out yet; grid reference is way too high.


 :rofl:


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## Infanteer (12 Sep 2006)

Wow - that was good!


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## paracowboy (12 Sep 2006)

> Is there a regulation that would come into effect here?


 no.


> is a collared shirt in order?


no, a different girl (I assume, anyway) is. Or some respect, both self and for/from your girlfriend. Hickies are silly. At best.


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## GAP (12 Sep 2006)

ArmyVern said:
			
		

> I'd also like to add this:
> 
> If he's/she's sucking on your neck... you don't quite have the area maps figured out yet; grid reference is way too high.



 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


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## Shamrock (12 Sep 2006)

Yes, collared shirt even if the hickey fades.  Pants likewise not optional.  It's a military meeting, rabbit.  Means play dress up.


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## BernDawg (12 Sep 2006)

You may want to touch up those nasty pimples too.  Just oxycute em!  ;D

Vern.  You rock!!   :rofl:


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## Sig_Des (13 Sep 2006)

Heheheh....

That was the funniest thing I've read in a while...

The worst that'll happen is someone'll make fun of you. It's not like it hasn't happened before.

I had a girl bite me so hard she drew blood...Imagine explaining THAT to the Warrant in the morning.


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## big bad john (13 Sep 2006)

Sig_Des said:
			
		

> Heheheh....
> 
> That was the funniest thing I've read in a while...
> 
> ...



So...how did you explain it?


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## Sig_Des (13 Sep 2006)

big bad john said:
			
		

> So...how did you explain it?



He was a dirty old man....I had to give him details


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## career_radio-checker (13 Sep 2006)

Sig_Des said:
			
		

> I had a girl bite me so hard she drew blood...Imagine explaining THAT to the Warrant in the morning.



Des, you have to stop hanging around the Gatineau girls. I told you they were vampires.


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## navymich (13 Sep 2006)

Sig_Des said:
			
		

> He was a dirty old man....I had to give him details



BBJ, I didn't think you were ever a Warrant??


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## Sig_Des (13 Sep 2006)

career_radio-checker said:
			
		

> Des, you have to stop hanging around the Gatineau girls. I told you they were vampires.



I thought that was the Vanier girls? the Gatineau girls are the underage ones, right?


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## Centurian1985 (13 Sep 2006)

Definately one of the funniest topics ive seen in a while...  ;D


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## TCBF (13 Sep 2006)

"Hickies are silly. At best."

 - And so, like, fifteen.   ....  So how old IS the girl, anyway?  Businesswoman?  Got her own paper route?

"I told you they were vampires."

- Vampires are over like the Kennedy's.  Now Zombies, there is a real modern threat for you.


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## Yrys (13 Sep 2006)

Hey!

I'm sure Gatineau girls are less vampires then the Montreal ones!


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## Sig_Des (13 Sep 2006)

Hey,

I've had fun with Montreal girls!

Ah crescent street, you make courses fun!


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## orange.paint (13 Sep 2006)

Met this goth girl in Freddy town while on fall ex in 2001.Started making out with her and the thing bit my neck so hard she drew blood.Of course being the tough army guy I screamed like a banshee attracting half of sweetwaters.

....I always wondered what would have been bitten off if she decided to wait to get back to her place...... :'( :'( :crybaby:

Then I went to Bosnia and two guys come up to me during the DAG pointing at this girl in uniform(remembering my humbling experience).....guess the vampire stuff wasn't paying so well.

*note medics do play with blood.


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## Sig_Des (13 Sep 2006)

rcac_011 said:
			
		

> Met this goth girl in Freddy town while on fall ex in 2001.Started making out with her and the thing bit my neck so hard she drew blood.Of course being the tough army guy I screamed like a banshee attracting half of sweetwaters.
> 
> ....I always wondered what would have been bitten off if she decided to wait to get back to her place...... :'( :'( :crybaby:
> 
> ...



 :rofl: AH! hahaha!


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## armywife/cadetmom (13 Sep 2006)

Not to rain on the parade...but..if the hicky is an issue, cover it with make up, spray the make up with hairspray and the makeup wont rub off onto your uniform.

To the boys ribbing this poor kid...my hubby and i are ol married folk we still 'tag' eachother for s#*ts and giggles once in a while..hehehe..but i keep them below his collar bones so he doesnt end up being grilled at work. :-*

Awsome thread, hope the kid isnt cruicfied for his lack of judgement :cheers:


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## 1feral1 (13 Sep 2006)

In Australia we call them 'love bites'. Mate next time make sure she puts them below the neck and out of sight. As for make-up, hopefully not perfumed, ha! Personally, I would just roll with it, cop the jokes and abuse from your mates, or perhaps a turtleneck or soemthing. At least you didn't get one on the back of your neck  .

Bloody hickies, Crikey, I have not been given one of those since the ealy 80s at best. I hated them, always drew the crabs, especially from my Mom.

Regards from Helll,

Wes


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## Kid_X (13 Sep 2006)

Haha, hilarious  ;D
Thank you for the straight answers, and thank you more for the comic relief.
I was only worried about the stuff on my neck, I'm not gonna get undressed at my SEM Briefing...
or is there something they aren't telling us about these meetings?


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## TCBF (13 Sep 2006)

Depends... You aren't over forty are you?


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## Kid_X (13 Sep 2006)

18, and so is she.
She's studying police foundations  ;D
But if we got serious over the next 4 years, how would we go about that when it comes time for me to ship off and do training.
(Hopefully Pilot training, but if not it'll be aerospace controller in Cornwall.)


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## Brixxie (13 Sep 2006)

...hickies are so tacky...


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## Sheerin (13 Sep 2006)

> But if we got serious over the next 4 years, how would we go about that when it comes time for me to ship off and do training.
> (Hopefully Pilot training, but if not it'll be aerospace controller in Cornwall.)



Dude, please tell me you just didn't meet her?  Becuase if you are don't be thinking about 4 years from now!!!

As for the hickey, next time you see her, find a nice visible part of her neck and suck on it like you're going to get milk from it, if you do for a minute or so she'll get one massive hickey.  After the hickey forms remind her that whenever she gives you one that's visible you'll give her one twice as large.


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## Shamrock (13 Sep 2006)

Whatever happened to the good old days when fools fell in love with the first woman they slept with, not just the first woman apply suction to their head?


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## a_majoor (13 Sep 2006)

She was just drawing out the venom.............really! 

;D ;D ;D


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## probum non poenitet (13 Sep 2006)

When I was about 18 I was drunk and running in the darkness for some reason.

I suddenly found myself clobbered by the invisible man, lying on my back, and looking up at the stars.

I had run into one of those metal clotheslines you see on old PMQs, right in the bloody (literally) neck.

For the next few days it looked like I had about a dozen hickies on my neck. I got a lot of questions and/or high fives, but I would explain.
"No, really, I ran into a metal cable when I was hammered in the dark."
Most people just winked, and went, "Surrrre you did."

All of the embarrassment, with none of the 'collateral pleasure.' What a rip off.


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## Kid_X (13 Sep 2006)

Sheerin said:
			
		

> Dude, please tell me you just didn't meet her?  Becuase if you are don't be thinking about 4 years from now!!!
> 
> As for the hickey, next time you see her, find a nice visible part of her neck and suck on it like you're going to get milk from it, if you do for a minute or so she'll get one massive hickey.  After the hickey forms remind her that whenever she gives you one that's visible you'll give her one twice as large.



Oh no, I've knows her and been close for well over 2 years now, we have always gotten along perfectly well, and the relationship started towards the end of the summer.  I also did get her back, she can't wear any of her collection of low cut tops, especially not since she's staying at her grandma's for the month.

P.S.  I used spell check, and the only error came up in that quote


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## armyvern (14 Sep 2006)

Kid_X said:
			
		

> Oh no, I've knows her and been close for well over 2 years now, we have always gotten along perfectly well, and the relationship started towards the end of the summer.  I also did get her back, she can't wear any of her collection of low cut tops, especially not since she's staying at her grandma's for the month.
> 
> P.S.  I used spell check, and the only error came up in that quote



Holy crap, her back??? You two need some serious OJT... but I'm not into that. Any volunteers out there? You have to put some effort into leaving the kiss of love on someones back. I think I outgrew hickies around hmmm 15 years of age. I could be wrong as girls on my  3s may be quick to point out.    I recommend Revlon Colourstay for cover-up purposes. 

Use your energy else where!!! PM me. I'll tell you where it's better spent or at least pass on some more accurate 8 figure grid references. My husband would never have put up with this.  ;D

PS your last line about the spell check. There's this darn thing about spell check... It'll only pick up words that are spelled wrong, not words that are spelled properly and just used in the wrong context. Check the 4th word of your quote above....or are you a Newf? In which case, this use is OK if I read your post with the applicable accent. And I don't mind Newfs...they know the grid refs that are applicable or not.


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## career_radio-checker (14 Sep 2006)

say its a sports injury. You got hit in the neck with a baseball.


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## Shamrock (14 Sep 2006)

Vern, your sex life is too vanilla.  There's a certain position where one partner (a) is behind the other (b).  A can bend over and apply suction to B's back from this position.  It has something to do with canines.


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## armyvern (14 Sep 2006)

Shamrock said:
			
		

> Vern, your sex life is too vanilla.  There's a certain position where one partner (a) is behind the other (b).  A can bend over and apply suction to B's back from this position.  It has something to do with canines.



Vanilla?? I think not. I AM A RED HEAD!!! Read my post again...I said that takes too much effort....A to B is better spent without expending all the energy in one spot to get a hickey there. I know this grid reference well.

But I am old, aged and "nerdy" now my little chicklets who are all of 11 and 13 tell me  :


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## TCBF (14 Sep 2006)

What is this?  'kamasutra.ca'?



Tom


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## armyvern (14 Sep 2006)

TCBF said:
			
		

> What is this?  'kamasutra.ca'?
> 
> 
> 
> Tom



It's a whole bunch of us old-timers ('nerds' to our children) wishing we were 18 again.


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## BernDawg (14 Sep 2006)

Ah to be 18 again.  It's all about quantity not quality......   >
Nah  I'll take the quality thanks.


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## Meridian (14 Sep 2006)

Sig_Des said:
			
		

> Hey,
> 
> I've had fun with Montreal girls!
> 
> Ah crescent street, you make courses fun!



The vast majority of people on Crescent street aren't actually from Montreal.  They are tourists coming into Montreal looking to Party with Montrealers...   it's really looked down upon by most.  I mean, even Thursdays, which DOES get montrealers, is the equivalent to Ottawa's Maxwells (30+ Meat Market).

You should be hitting St Laurent or St Denis if you want the real Montreal girls.... St Denis more if you like french.  but then again, most of those places aren't conducive to huge groups of guys with close-cropped heads on weekend leave.


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## GAP (14 Sep 2006)

BernDawg said:
			
		

> Ah to be 18 again.  It's all about quantity not quality......   >
> Nah  I'll take the quality thanks.



Trained Puppy!!!!


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## Sig_Des (14 Sep 2006)

Meridian said:
			
		

> The vast majority of people on Crescent street aren't actually from Montreal.  They are tourists coming into Montreal looking to Party with Montrealers...   it's really looked down upon by most.  I mean, even Thursdays, which DOES get montrealers, is the equivalent to Ottawa's Maxwells (30+ Meat Market).
> 
> You should be hitting St Laurent or St Denis if you want the real Montreal girls.... St Denis more if you like french.  but then again, most of those places aren't conducive to huge groups of guys with close-cropped heads on weekend leave.



I like St-Denis....Sit at the Cafe's and terraces, sipping whine all day, watching the girls walk by...and then the clubs...Sainte-Sulpice is always fun


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## FormerHorseGuard (14 Sep 2006)

i have had a red mark on my neck for my entire life, right above the collar, took a lot of parades before the questions stopped. 
and i never noticed it for the longest time. 
it is still there and no it is not a kickie 
lol
too much fun here
reminds me of stories i heard when i was staff at the last cadet camp at ipperwash lol


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## BernDawg (14 Sep 2006)

The biscuit is far better than the rolled up paper any day!  ;D


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## GAP (14 Sep 2006)

BernDawg said:
			
		

> The biscuit is far better than the rolled up paper any day!  ;D



See...get whacked across the snout enough times you do become a "trained puppy"..... As for quantity, isn't that how they find diamonds?  ;D


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## Blackadder1916 (14 Sep 2006)

FormerHorseGuard said:
			
		

> ...too much fun here
> reminds me of stories i heard when i was staff at...


Ahh, finally a thread people can "sink their teeth into"  :

Reminds me of far too many moments as a young medic (and once on infantry phase trg) when someone stepped into the clinic/tent/back of amb/serving line in the kitchen/slit trench and said, "hey doc, couldya have a look at this, whaddya think it is".  It would usually be followed by the exposure of anatomy that I really didn't want to see, even as a clinical experience.  It was amazing the wounds that soldiers would endure and then return to the fray for seconds.


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## Pea (14 Sep 2006)

I've never been a fan of hickies. I can say I had one in my life, when I was really young and stupid. (lots of coverup prevented embarrassment there, and my boyfriend at the time from being killed by my Mom) To me they seem like an advertisement saying "look at me, I'm sexually active". I guess I just don't see the need to broadcast what "fun" I had last night.


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## Kid_X (14 Sep 2006)

Last night?  These things last for a week   
Now another question from young (me  ;D) to old (you guys!  >).  Would 4 hours be considered quantity, or quality?  :cheers:
Sheldon (oh god I hope none of you are in charge of me in the future, like during my BOTC or something...   )


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## Pea (14 Sep 2006)

....hours mean nothing if there are still no skills.  ;D


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## a_majoor (14 Sep 2006)

Kid_X said:
			
		

> Last night?  These things last for a week
> Now another question from young (me  ;D) to old (you guys!  >).  Would 4 hours be considered quantity, or quality?  :cheers:
> Sheldon (oh god I hope none of you are in charge of me in the future, like during my BOTC or something...   )



Right, four hours of pack drill for you: quantity AND quality!  > > >


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## BernDawg (14 Sep 2006)

Roger that!  Fifty paces right close MARCH!!!  >


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## Jed (14 Sep 2006)

So did you fill out a CF98 for that neck wound? Remember to get at least 2 witnesses to sign their statements.


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## 1Good_Woman (14 Sep 2006)

Kid_X - might I suggest not posting with your name if you're afraid of someone on here being in "charge" of you at BOTC...

This thread is hilarious! What is this? ArmySex101.ca? None the less, brought back some fond memories... 

Vern - you are toooooo funny - please write a book so I can share it with unenlightened men and women everywhere!


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## Kid_X (15 Sep 2006)

I'm not worried, I trust my fellow Canadians.   

Besides. The harder the game, the bigger the payoff!

P.S. 4 hours is like 3h57min of foreplay...


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## p_imbeault (15 Sep 2006)

Kid_X said:
			
		

> P.S. 4 hours is like 3h57min of foreplay...


 ;D


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## chicka36 (15 Sep 2006)

GAP had the best answer. I am still giggling!


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## armyvern (15 Sep 2006)

chicka36 said:
			
		

> GAP had the best answer. I am still giggling!


Mine wasn't an answer...I was simply making an informed 'observation.'


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## goodform (15 Sep 2006)

Precisely, and it has been covered by ArmyVern. Though it sounds like Kid_X needs a 4 figure grid reference before he can move onto anything more complicated. I wouldn't worry though, as he has a long term girlfriend who seems to be willing to let him spend some time practicing on the range.


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## Centurian1985 (15 Sep 2006)

Jed said:
			
		

> So did you fill out a CF98 for that neck wound? Remember to get at least 2 witnesses to sign their statements.



Plus a statement on how the disability of your injury has impacted your everyday life...

"I am unable to work with my fellow employees due to my disfigurement, which has made me the subject of idle speculation and rumour-mongering.  This has led to increased anxiety over potential future visible damage to my person from similiar harmful practices, in turn causing stress in the relationship with my significant other."


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## IN HOC SIGNO (15 Sep 2006)

Centurian1985 said:
			
		

> Plus a statement on how the disability of your injury has impacted your everyday life...
> 
> "I am unable to work with my fellow employees due to my disfigurement, which has made me the subject of idle speculation and rumour-mongering.  This has led to increased anxiety over potential future visible damage to my person from similiar harmful practices, in turn causing stress in the relationship with my significant other."



Ha ha...you must have seen similar paperwork at some point! I've seen some pretty lame stuff and been asked to support it as a Chaplain.....I'm pretty old school though...it's just not happening!! :


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## Centurian1985 (15 Sep 2006)

1Good_Woman said:
			
		

> Kid_X - might I suggest not posting with your name if you're afraid of someone on here being in "charge" of you at BOTC...
> 
> This thread is hilarious! What is this? ArmySex101.ca? None the less, brought back some fond memories...
> 
> Vern - you are toooooo funny - please write a book so I can share it with unenlightened men and women everywhere!



Mike may have to add an appendum to the ArmyWiki .... Armysexpedia?  With all the worldwide travelling and 'international relations' that members have been part of Im sure quite a few unusual practices could be documented...


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## Centurian1985 (15 Sep 2006)

IN HOC SIGNO said:
			
		

> Ha ha...you must have seen similar paperwork at some point! I've seen some pretty lame stuff and been asked to support it as a Chaplain.....I'm pretty old school though...it's just not happening!! :



Actually thats the kind of stuff you have to write when you file for a VA pension, but apparently if helps if you get the physician to write these kind of statements in your med file when injuries occur... at least for REAL injuries anyway, not temporary skin colours...


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## GreasyManatee (14 May 2017)

Was wondering if we can get in trouble for having big f off hickies. Also no idea if this is the appropriate thread thank you.


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## GreasyManatee (14 May 2017)

That's from 2006 and it seems all jokes man


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## PuckChaser (14 May 2017)

GreasyManatee said:
			
		

> That's from 2006 and it seems all jokes man



Perhaps because your post could be construed as a joke, man? Other than having to come up with a good story so your work friends don't think you and your girl/boyfriend are 12 years old that think hickies are cool, you'll be fine.


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## Jed (15 May 2017)

Just tell them you are 'cupping' to improve your athletic performance.


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## AbdullahD (15 May 2017)

PuckChaser said:
			
		

> Perhaps because your post could be construed as a joke, man? Other than having to come up with a good story so your work friends don't think you and your girl/boyfriend are 12 years old that think hickies are cool, you'll be fine.



And here I thought hickies, whips and chains were part of a healthy sex life.. just like strawberries, chocolates and whipped cream are part of a healthy diet 

I have so much to learn 😂


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## Fishbone Jones (15 May 2017)

Back in my day, you'd probably be charged with self inflicted wound. I'd probably still have a good chat with the JAG.


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