# Military Singles



## 762gunner (31 Jul 2005)

Need advice...

     I'm an older single in the Army.  I come home every night to an empty house for four reasons, I figure:

     1.     My age (in the early fourties, usually feel like 29, sometimes feel like 80+);

     2.     Where I'm posted (semi-quasi-isolated posting);

     3.     Taking the civilian population into account, because I'm military; and

     4.     Being male.

     Re #4:  It's too bad that if a woman is interested in a guy, she might give him 'signals' that he is expected to see and interpret correctly, else tough titties.  The only thing that keeps me going is the work that I VERY MUCH still love, so to keep sane and stop from doing anything stupid I am a bona fide workaholic, all weekends included.

     But some days... I make sure my will is up to date.

     Any one else out there even remotely in the same boat?  Don't care to go to the bar with my buddies (all married) and get drunk, it's boring drinking alone, I pretty much take vacations alone, as being the single guy one can feel like the odd man out.

     Looking for ANY reasonable suggestions how to cope.  Don't bother mentioning seeing a shrink, talking about it doesn't change a thing.

     Cheers.   :warstory:


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## AZA-02 (1 Aug 2005)

Im single, but im only 18 and i havent got a place to call home...Yet. Did this help?


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## Teddy Ruxpin (1 Aug 2005)

Well, the best advice I received was from a female friend of mine.   I too am a workaholic and my entire life was "army" for many years.   That's now been sorted out.

Her advice was to get a hobby that required meeting people - of both sexes.   Even in Wainwright, there are things to do away from the base.   Forget "picking up" a woman.   Simply broadening your social circle will increase the chances of meeting someone.   The "hobby" could be softball, a class (I know, it's Wainwright), volunteering, etc..   Even if it doesn't result in a romantic connection, it gets you off Camp and into a different setting; the odds go up considerably as a result.   You needn't hide being military, but make sure that you're not talking about it all the time.   Concentrate on meeting new friends and you're away.   My two cents...

Good luck and cheers.

TR


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## Fishbone Jones (1 Aug 2005)

This will sound hokey but it's absolutley true, and borne out time and again. It should help when you move into other circles. Women look at certain things to gauge whether to approach you or accept an advance, subconciously in most cases, but they do. There are three that make you very approachable. Good looking shoes, a good looking belt and a good looking watch. Not Nikes, CF belt and ironman velcro watchband, but good quality leather stuff all around and a good chronometer, not a digital. I've watched this advice used by some real sad sacks and was amazed at the results. Might not be what your looking for as far as answers, but it can't hurt to give it a try.


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## Manimal (1 Aug 2005)

;D go to church


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## Mappy (1 Aug 2005)

Sometimes you met that special someone in unusual places.  I met my bf on the internet (haha please dont judge!) and I wasn't going around looking for someone on the internet....it just happened. My advice is to not be super forward, that would scare some of us females off.


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## Strike (1 Aug 2005)

Lava Life.  I know more than a few people that have used it with success.

If that still doesn't interest you, get involved in local activities, like was previously mentioned.  Not only will it get you out of the house, but you will increase your pool of friends to probably include some who aren't in the military.  We all need some civvy friends to keep us in the "real world."

You aren't alone.  I had the same problem in Halifax, of all places.  Work was my life, until I decided to sign up with "Joints in Motion."  I was the only military person on the team and made loads of friends that I am still in contact with.  Get out, get involved, have fun.  Either that, or get a cat.  Its psychotic antics will make you see how sane you really are.   ;D


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## Gunner98 (1 Aug 2005)

Look for social type clubs such as Lions, Rotary, Toastmasters, charity/volunteer, bowling, tennis, darts - places where people get to know you and will promote you to their single friends.  If you are doing good things people will be drawn to you of both sexes and they will be great referral agents for their friends and you.


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## camochick (3 Aug 2005)

As dorky as this may sound, i swear by lava life, i have met my last three serious bf's on there. Internet dating isnt the geek thing it once was. You have to weed through the weirdos but there are some genuine people on there who just want to meet that special someone. I am young and fairly attractive but i hate the bar scene so i chose to do the online thing. It gives me a chance to get to know someone who is drunk and slobbering and trying to hump my leg. Match.com isnt bad either but it's pricey. Good luck to you, I know that you will find that special someone, sometimes it just takes time.  >


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## Kal (3 Aug 2005)

I agree with Teddy's friend.   Try a class, perhaps a cooking or dance class.   With regards to the rest of your post....



			
				Redneck said:
			
		

> Need advice...
> 
> I'm an older single in the Army.   I come home every night to an empty house for four reasons, I figure:
> 
> ...



Points 1, 3, and 4 are only problems if you let them be...   Your age???   Don't you ever see or hear of those guys that have wives or girlfriends that significantly younger than they are?   It's only an issue if you think it's one.   So the civvy population doesn't like military.   How is that your problem?   If you find a woman that doesn't like military, you don't want her anyways, right?   Being male?   How is it that a problem?   Oh, I get, years of being badly programmed into thinking that the guy to supposed to 'court' a woman and that he must make all the advances.   That's a girly-man mindset, these girls are there for you to chose, not them chose you.   If you go out with one, and they don't meet the critirea, that's not your fault, it's on to the next one.   Get out of this mindset that you must a find girl that will learn to accept you and will see the light and fall magically in love with you, because she won't the way you're talking.   Remember the girls are there for you and for you to chose the best for yourself.   Look at nature, the alpha male never compete for a female, the top females always come to him.   

Sorry, if this sounded harsh, I didn't mean it to be, well a little bit yes, but you needed it....


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## Mappy (3 Aug 2005)

> i swear by lava life, i have met my last three serious bf's on there. Internet dating isnt the geek thing it once was



I know! When I tell people I met my bf on date.ca, a large majority respond with "really? Thats so cool!"


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## Strike (3 Aug 2005)

> Look at nature, the alpha male never compete for a female, the top females always come to him.



Hate to burst your bubble there Kal, but if that were true, why do male birds have brighter plummage?  Why to deer, elk, moose, and other antler bearing animals always seem to find the males competing for the female?  Humans seem to be the only creatures where the female has to dress up to get the guy.

Beyond the point of this thread though.  The point is, get out, get involved, meet people.  Just by meeting someone increases your chances of meeting someone else you may like and who will feel the same in return.  Networking can work wonders, but you have to get out to make it work.


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## Fishbone Jones (3 Aug 2005)

............as Kal drags his club and mate, back to the cave, by the handle and hair respectivley. ;D


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## navygirlfriend (4 Aug 2005)

Redneck said:
			
		

> Looking for ANY reasonable suggestions how to cope.




*Swing dancing. *  Swing dancing will solve all your earthly problems.


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## Pieman (4 Aug 2005)

It does not hurt to play the odds. If you join a club or activity where there are 20 guys and 5 girls, it is that much harder for you to interact with the woman in the course. Go to something that is more woman dominated. I have found that many fitness courses, like a running club, tend to have a lot more girls than guys in them.


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## Manimal (4 Aug 2005)

but if you the only nice guy out of those 20 guys, you just have to get in there and prove yourself. 
chances are, 20 guys hanging around to meet women, 18 of them are arses


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## Kal (4 Aug 2005)

Strike - Sorry, but I should clarify.   I meant pack animals.   These types on animals do compete with other males, but not necessarily for females.   The animals will compete to see which one will be the alpha male and lead the pack.   Being the alpha male, means first choice at everything the pack does, eats, etc.   Once the alpha male is known, they don't compete for females.

Recceguy - Ouch...   8)   (just kidding)

Not to blow my own horn, but...   All guys seem to know someone that is a devil with the ladies, that is never down for a date and is always having the girls come to him.   I'm one of the guys    I'm just saying what works for me.


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## bonitabelle (4 Aug 2005)

One more piece of advice over what all you have heard, when you are meeting the women, please be yourself.  (This from a woman's point of view)  We enjoy ourselves when you are being honest with us.


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## Britney Spears (4 Aug 2005)

> Strike - Sorry, but I should clarify.  I meant pack animals.  These types on animals do compete with other males, but not necessarily for females.  The animals will compete to see which one will be the alpha male and lead the pack.  Being the alpha male, means first choice at everything the pack does, eats, etc.  Once the alpha male is known, they don't compete for females.



I think the term you are looking for is "social animal". A pack animal is an animal you use to carry rucksacks and other heavy loads over long distances. In this day and age, it is no longer fashionable or appropriate to use women for this role.


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## Shadow Cat (4 Aug 2005)

One word od advice for finding a a female companion...don't listen to Kal.  I am pretty sure that based on what he has already stated that he can only get the bimbos or the females that lack intelligence and self esteem.  It also sounds like he is only into the short term relationships, which from your post it really looks like you are looking for something that may be a little more solid than that.

Like everyone said get out there and join some groups.  If you like to owrk out there are lots of options, if you like to read than try a book club (always packed with women), if you like to cook than you are set there (cooking can be great for foreplay as well  >).  

Sometimes just approaching a woman out of the blue can get you amazing results as well.  I mean look at the recent show Beauty and Geeks, they got women's digits and if they can do, anyone can do it.

I do have to agree with one thing that Kal said though.  If the woman is not acceptable of your military career than you have to try to find someone that is.  Truth is this is your life and that has to be respected by who ever you meet.


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## Kal (4 Aug 2005)

Britney, I'm not sure if you're making a joke?  What I meant by pack animal is a animal that lives within a group of the same animal, ie wolves.  I think that's what you meant by social animal, correct?

Shadow Cat, I'm not sure why you have responded with such hostile words.  I made no mention of treating women badly or with disrespect.  Why you suggest I can only get bimbos, the unintelligent, etc is beyond me, but is not factual. I need not make examples of the relationships I've had in the past, because they have been fulfilling emotionally, mentally and intellectually.  I made no mention of what exactly to do to meet women, I merely suggested a change in mindset, which in my experience is the most beneficial, and if that constitutes to me only able to get 'unfavourable' women in your books, then so be it.  I have found many more females than not have responded positively to me and my character, than not.  I do find it interesting though how some people take such offence to such things, I am not sure why, maybe failed relationships or relationship goals or they are just intimidated...

That's enough outta' me for this thread...


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## Slim (4 Aug 2005)

Sigh...Here we go again... :


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## Pieman (10 Aug 2005)

> but if you the only nice guy out of those 20 guys, you just have to get in there and prove yourself.
> chances are, 20 guys hanging around to meet women, 18 of them are arses


But out of the 5 woman, how many are single? How many are of interest to you? Another reason to play the odds.


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## Sh0rtbUs (10 Aug 2005)

Pieman said:
			
		

> But out of the 5 woman, how many are single? How many are of interest to you? Another reason to play the odds.



I was thinking the same thing...

I find a lot of guys are out for the Skinny, blonde, perfect faced type women. Forget that, what you need is a woman with meat on her bones and so much hair on her chin that you can swing from it!

THATS a recipe for a satisfied man, IMO  ;D


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## 762gunner (11 Aug 2005)

A buddy of mine wrote this, and this makes one think.  And if one is living on a small base with only a small town nearby, well then, life becomes and remains a day-to day grind of only looking as far ahead as the next day's work.
  Being financially well-off isn't enough.  Being honest, honourable, and hard-working isn't enough.  Being both smart AND intelligent isn't enough.  Being into the outdoors big-time isn't enough.
  I can think of people that are one or more of the above, and can't find a woman that'll look past the superficiallity at the whole package.   
  As hard as it is to believe, ladies, guys don't just want to (or specifically) boink.  Some want nothing more than to hold your hand, to spend time with you, to watch TV with you, to keep a house for you, to do any number or type of outdoor activities with.
  But that's not enough.  Or too much to ask for.
   I'm on the... umpteenth singles site (at least fifteen).  So far, eharmony seems to be the best, not as popular as Lavalife but more honest and detailed.  And batting zero for twenty-two. Communication goes for a long time, but when it gets to career, or location, the anchor drops. 
  Screw it.   :-\


>>>
Why am I single? With about 1,000,000 people in Edmonton and basically a 50/50 male/female ratio, that leaves about 500,000 women. Now you take away all the ones that are much too old & much too young leaving the ones aged about 20-35... that gives us about a 5th of the female population available.

	Now we're at 100,000. With obesity on the rise, you can easily take away half that are simply too gross.  At 50,000 women, let's remove all the ones carrying baggage:  mental problems, bastard children, divorce, separation, and on and on and on.  Let's even try to be generous and say that only a quarter aren't screwed.  Now we're down to 12,500.  Now we remove all the ones that are simply unappealing to us.    They're just not the personality or looks or intelligence or habits or any of that stuff.  So we'll remove another 2/3 which assumes that of 1/3 of all these women, a guy will find to be good for him.  That's a big over-estimate. 

	So now we're at about 4,200.  Remove all the ones that don't find me attractive or "right for them".   Down to 1,050.  Now out of 1,050, we can easily assume that at least 90% of these attractive, appealing, smart, un-brainfu--ed women have already been taken by someone cuz they won't stay single long. 

	100 women now and we take away all the sluts, the lazy-ass couch potatoes, the spoiled brats, the lesbians, the ones with weirdo proclivities and ones that fit categories I can't think of right now.  Let's be generous and only chop that in half.  Now that leaves just under 50 women out there that are more or less fitting my criteria. 

	I don't work in an environment where I'll meet a bunch of women, I don't go out drinking or bar hopping & I'm not a student.  I also don't travel to all parts of the city or all places in those parts so even at 10% the odds are against me.  That means that 10% of remaining women that would work more or less perfect with me, that I will see, meet, be seen by in Edmonton are just waiting for me.  But that leaves 5 women & I'm not the only guy looking either.  So out of 5 women which really is a big over-estimate, there is one for me if I can be in the perfect place at the perfect time, when I'm looking for a girl & she's looking for a guy & we both have time and on and on and on.

	And people wonder why I've given up on the whole concept.  At 1/100,000, I'd say it's a losing bet that I'll find "the right one". These numbers could be moved all over the place but it gives you a pretty good idea.


	MCpl A.G.
        Love the Green Pyjamas


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## beach_bum (11 Aug 2005)

Redneck said:
			
		

> let's remove all the ones carrying baggage:   mental problems, ******* children, divorce, separation, and on and on and on.   Let's even try to be generous and say that only a quarter aren't screwed.



Well, if you consider children, divorce and separation baggage that basically means they are screwed up and not to your liking, you are missing out on a large number, especially at your age.  Personally, I do not consider my child baggage, nor would I say that I am screwed up either.


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## Roy Harding (11 Aug 2005)

beach_bum said:
			
		

> Well, if you consider children, divorce and separation baggage that basically means they are screwed up and not to your liking, you are missing out on a large number, especially at your age.   Personally, I do not consider my child baggage, nor would I say that I am screwed up either.



Looks like you can cross another one off your list, Redneck.  You'd better change your expectations "especially at your age"!!!


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## mdh (11 Aug 2005)

> And people wonder why I've given up on the whole concept.  At 1/100,000, I'd say it's a losing bet that I'll find "the right one". These numbers could be moved all over the place but it gives you a pretty good idea.
> 
> 
> MCpl A.G.
> Love the Green Pyjamas



Family life on bases can be difficult. As a rule women want to have a career and because of the remoteness of many CF installations, it's not easy for women to achieve that ambition. Once they find out that they might have to live in Shilo, Petawawa or Gagetown, there is a distinct lack of enthusiasm for the military life.


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## caper861 (11 Aug 2005)

I know this is old, but love just happens.  I think that is right, that if you do join some clubs with both sexs then you have a better chance in meeting a lady.  Get some of your married or involved friends to have you over for dinner and to invite a "friend" for you to meet.  That's how my mom meet her husband now.  I don't think clubs are the place to meet people myself.  When you go to a grocey store ask some woman about the products.  "I have some bad grass stains in a pairs of pants, and I have tried eveythng to get them out.  Do you think this will work?"  "I am having some friends over for a bbq and I was wondering if you may know how to cook eggplant?"  These are some ideas.  Sometimes you need to tell a little white lie to get a conversion going.  What about another military person who you see around, a cleark, cook, supply tech.?  Don't be shy, I met my husband out in the field when I asked him for a quarter to make a call and there were no phones around!  But he jumped 4 cots to get me that quarter and after we were together for a while we both told each other the truth, he wanted to talk to me but was to shy but once I talked to him, he said he was never going to give up.  Don't you give up either.  Look up some old friends you knew on last postings or past courses and plan a trip together.  Get a bunch of male and female friends together for a camping trip on the Sep long weekend.  If you can't find something to do to meet people then invent things to do.  One year, on a new posting, to meet people I had a "dateless" valentines party.  I not only met lots of people but ended up with a boyfriend and their where a few new couples.  I have never tried chat rooms for dating but maybe you could try that.  Keep your sprits up and remember that you usually don't find what you are looking for if you are to involved, take it easy and be open to new things.  Good luck.


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## Brygun (11 Aug 2005)

#1 Aspect in selecting a mate par none: proquintity (dang... thats not spelled right).

The term though means this: You have to meet them!

Things which increase the circle of contacts is going to give you better odds.

The other approach is to be sincere in developing social/dating skills. The various "Mars and Venus" books for instance have helped many. Go figure, men and women really are different. 

In terms of things to do the tip from "Friends and Lovers, meeting those you want to meet" was to ask or work with those you do liike hanging out with to get more people involved. Sports, tv shows, whatever.

As one suggestion for a club try the SCA. www.sca.org is the website. Locations all over the world. A medieval recreating group there is a decent military population in it. Activities include camping as groups (200+ people) and armored combat... as in you wear armor, pickup a stick to swing as does the other folks. Rather than "re-enact" our group  "re-creates" meaning the outcome of duels or battles (sometimes 100s on a side) are based on live results. Wonderful club if you have any historic interests. A decent mix of male and female as well.

Either way start building a widening circle of people. Invite more peole over. Arrange more outings (not necessarily drinking). That and accepting relating to the significant other is a skill not a given will do you wonderfully.


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## atticus (11 Aug 2005)

recceguy said:
			
		

> Women look at certain things to gauge whether to approach you or accept an advance, subconciously in most cases, but they do. There are three that make you very approachable. Good looking shoes, a good looking belt and a good looking watch.



I've heard many many times that the first thing a woman looks at a guy for is his shoes. Also I'd suggest a church group or a bible study. The women in christian circles are something like 10 for every one guy.


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## 762gunner (12 Aug 2005)

I don't agree completely with what my buddy wrote.... it's obvious he has a chip on his shoulder (larger than mine).  But as for children being a negative, I love children (could never find the carrying handles on the babies, though).  I THINK what he meant is that with younger children, a single mom is pretty much permanently anchored to home.  Oh sure, the ocassional outing when you can find a babysitter, but extremely limiting as far as leaving home goes.
     Weekend outings?  Not without a carload of supplies.  No mid- to long-range hiking trips, backback trips, horsie-back riding for more than a few hours, overnighters in the wild beyond, foreign trips, sailing across the gorgeous ocean, adventure touring (unless you're stinkin' rich)...  Can't even go to the bar with the boys as a couple.
     Yup, I realize that with careful prep & planning, you can find basic facilities for children at major resorts only.  But you can't do everything.
     Everyone has some great suggestions.  But I see two problems.
     How the heck do ya meet someone that lives so far away that visiting them is a major annual undertaking?  Or even a major chunk of change for gas?  Is it worth it?
     All this stuff about clubs, organizations, taking dance lessons, etc. depends on that stuff being available in the same area.  When there are NONE of the aforementioned activities, that does leave the action plan a little thin.  And with dance lessons, you need to find someone to take them with, but if one wants to take dance lessons in order to meet someone... see where that is going?  Tried twice, but for some odd reason   everyone had brought their own dance partner.  How about that!
     Even small places has organizations like the Knights of Columbus for example, but again the odds of finding a compatible person are pretty much the same as winning the lottery. 
     Yup, as far as my age goes, a couple of you are right.  Even if there WERE any available ladies where I am, my age does severely limit me to nothing.  I'm just terrified that by the time I leave here and post to a larger place, I really will be old and won't be interested in all the activities I try and pursue here.  Too many people look at the number as the age of the person and not at the condition of their soul or the life in their heart.
     And where does that leave me when retirement approaches?
     Pretty sure I'll be a grumpy, crotchety old fart.  I'm already halfway there, I've read that here a couple of times.


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## Zombie (12 Aug 2005)

caper861 said:
			
		

> Get some of your married or involved friends to have you over for dinner and to invite a "friend" for you to meet.



Ohhhh nooo...not this one...you get drunk (by design?), and then have to wake up, drive her home, apologize to your friends wife, and then go through it again. No thanks, from now on, keep it at larger parties where you have an out and not so drunk friends to keep you safe.


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## NavComm (12 Aug 2005)

I think the cooking classes is a great idea. Lots of women there. Also computer classes. And my all time best place I met very nice people of all ages was the Alpine Club of Canada. It's great for outdoor enthusiasts. If they have one in your area, check it out.


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## bossi (12 Aug 2005)

Having a good chuckle at this thread (but, laughing "with" - not "at"!!!)

I don't know the "magic formula", but I know how I get by from day to day ...
(and, of course - everybody's different, thus there isn't just one formula ...)

We know that animals can sense fear.
Equally, most people have genetic instincts honed by evolution
(the ones that don't are culled by Darwinian selection ...)
Thus, in the context of this thread, "desperation" give off a certain, undesirable signal.

On the other hand, confidence/self-satisfaction is a key attractor
(a simple example is this:  Why would ANYBODY want to hang around with a miserable person, when they could be enjoying the company of somebody else who's pleasant/cheerful/entertaining).

I'd also temper some of the friendly advice our buddies have contributed:
The suggestion of "getting out and active" is sound, but ... "ya gotta be you"
(i.e. as somebody else so astutely pointed out, honesty is also an attractor - thus, signing up for a course or hobby "that isn't you" ... has a good chance of running out of runway ...)

Do stuff you enjoy, and ... shazaam!!  You're more likely to meet people who enjoy the same stuff as you (hmmm ... which belies the adage "opposites attract" ... ha!)

And, as for recceguy's comments re: decent shoes and a watch ... again, ya gotta be you - the shoes have to be comfortable, and the watch affordable (... unless Selection and Maintenance of The Aim is "... to attract a gold-digger" ... hmmm ...)

If you're like my best man (and his adorable wife ...) wearing a Mickey Mouse watch isn't a death sentence - it just might be a "conversation starter", or a clue that you've got a sense of humour (true story - I just bought a tshirt that looks like an eye chart, and says "I see dumb people reading my tshirt" ... and I'm gobsmacked - women have actually walked up to me on the street, laughing, and told me they like my tshirt ... hmmm ... and the irony is - I didn't buy it to pick up chicks ... hmmm ... which just goes to show how little I know about this topic ... ha!)

Ruck up, soldier on, do what you love, and don't look back unless you want to retreat.
If you look like you're lost, who's going to follow you?



> Know when to tune out. If you listen to too much advice, you may wind up making other people's mistakes.--Ann Landers


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## Roy Harding (12 Aug 2005)

Redneck:

I know I had a little fun at your expense in an earlier post - I hope you took it in the spirit intended.

Although I am not an expert in this matter (I've never been single in an isolated post; for that matter I haven't been single for a very long time) perhaps I can provide a little perspective on your conundrum.

Although I don't know exactly how old you are (despite my earlier crack) your profile says 18+ years of military experience.  So I'm guessing you're in your late 30's to mid 40's - if I'm wrong, it doesn't really affect what I'm going to say.

It seems to me that no matter WHERE you may be located geographically, it's where you are located mentally and emotionally that's more important.  It seems self evident that if you are "desperately seeking companionship" you'll only connect with others "desperately" seeking the same thing.  So, if you're hanging around in bars, you're only going to meet people who hang around in bars - not the best place to seek a mature relationship (I don't know about YOU, but I'm not usually at my "maturest" after a few beers.)  Likewise, on-line dating services (I've perused a few out of curiosity) SEEM to be filled with people who are desperately seeking relationships for all the wrong reasons.

It occurs to me that of the friends (as opposed to casual acquaintances) I have, I met most through indulging in mutually pleasurable activities, and THAT is the essence of what folks on this thread have been saying - get out to various "activities".  I would take it one step further - get involved in activities you enjoy BECAUSE you enjoy them, NOT for the sole purpose of "meeting a potential mate".  When you are enjoying yourself, you will attract the attention of people who not only enjoy the same activity, but will notice your enjoyment of it.  If you are participating in something solely for the purpose of "trolling", THAT will be noticed as well.  The plus side of indulging in activities you enjoy is that you will be ENJOYING yourself, not obsessing on meeting the "one".  If you DON'T meet the "one" you will still be enjoying yourself.

Now, I understand you're isolated.  I see you participating on this forum, I assume you are doing so because you enjoy it.  I also participate on the forums because I enjoy it.  I have met here some folks I'd very much like to meet in person, should circumstances ever permit.  And, should I end up meeting these folks, perhaps a friendship may evolve, I don't know - but I continue to enjoy myself.  There are other on-line activities just as serious as this one.  My particular hobby happens to be woodworking - I'm involved in a couple of woodworking forums (the GREAT ones have formats and rules very similar to this one, interestingly enough).  Like here, the threads often stray from their original intent and go off on wild tangents.  I've met some folks there that I'd ALSO like to meet in person, should that become convenient, and I'm equally sure some of them may become fast friends.  The possibilities are endless on the Internet.  I realize that you will not achieve your desired "end state" through on-line participation - the point is you'll be ENJOYING yourself.  I don't know exactly where you are, or exactly how isolated it is - but if it is possible to start a small group interested in something you enjoy then do it.  Doesn't matter if it's a computer club, or a carving group, or a knitting circle, as long as it's something YOU ENJOY.  Don't worry about whether there are female members or not, it doesn't matter - you'll be doing something you enjoy, with others who share your enthusiasm, and life will be better than you're portraying yours to be.  You won't be isolated FOREVER - it is entirely possible that contacts you might make either on-line or through some local activity will lead you to the "love of your life", but that remains a SECONDARY benefit to participation.

As far as age goes, that's a red herring.  Our society emphasizes youth far too much.  Trust me - a woman who shares your interests, and is your age is a MUCH better companion than "Barbie", no matter WHAT she may look like.  If you're 20, you'll find companionship amongst 20 year olds, if you're middle-aged - it is in THAT age group that you'll find companionship.  Where I work there are some beautiful young women - certainly easy on the eyes, I won't deny it.  BUT, I find even the most intelligent and mature of them to be lacking in world experience and actually quite boring to talk with.  I find myself adopting a "parental" attitude toward them.  On the other hand, I've met a wonderful woman who is also middle aged.  Guess who I've struck up a friendship with?  We have life experience in common, and enjoy speaking to each other about child rearing experiences, etcetera.  My wife and I have been over to her house, and her husband and she have been over to ours - we like each other, and find each other's life experiences fascinating.  She's a friend - not a possible "conquest".

I guess the bottom line of what I'm trying to say is this - the woman who eventually becomes your mate will first and foremost be your FRIEND, the rest will follow naturally.  Whether you meet "friends" on-line or in person is immaterial, as long as you are enjoying what you are doing.

It's a little "zennish", but it all boils down to this:  You will not find (or know!) what you seek until you stop seeking it.

Good luck to you Redneck.


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## camochick (12 Aug 2005)

I'm young but i've had plenty of dating experiences to know that a positive attitude is everything. If everyday is a pity party for you no one is going to come your way because no one is attracted to negative energy. Just live your life, make some awesome friends, take trips, do whatever you like to do and if you are meant to meet someone then it will happen. Another thing, don't have a whole list of expectations for a mate. Some of the most amazing relationships i have had have been with people i never thought i would date (ie a divorced guy with two kids, not high on my list of choices when i was 22, but he is an incredible person). Dating isnt really that hard, just have a sense of humor about things, take some chances and be yourself. 
    I still stand by online dating even though someone on here said it was full of desperate people. I have never been desperate. I use online dating because meeting people at bars doesnt work and my circle of friends is really small and close and everyone is paired off. I'm not single now but when i was, i had dates all the time from the internet. It was nothing to go on two or three a week. I say give it a try. Just be careful, like meeting strangers anywhere, > there are alot of weirdos on the internet.


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## Roy Harding (12 Aug 2005)

camochick said:
			
		

> ...
> I still stand by online dating even though someone on here said it was full of desperate people. I have never been desperate. I use online dating because meeting people at bars doesnt work and my circle of friends is really small and close and everyone is paired off. ...





			
				Retired CC said:
			
		

> ...
> Likewise, on-line dating services (I've perused a few out of curiosity) SEEM to be filled with people who are desperately seeking relationships for all the wrong reasons.
> ..




camochick:

Regarding on-line dating services.  No one (that I could see) said they were "full of desperate people", the closest quote I could find was my own, repeated above.

I have nothing against on-line dating services, and if it works for you, great - perhaps it will work for Redneck too.  In the meantime, as originally stated - to me, they SEEM full of people (not necessarily desperate) who are desperately seeking the wrong type of relationship.

Regards,

Retired CC


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## camochick (12 Aug 2005)

Ok so maybe i mis read what you wrote hehe, sorry bout that. I will agree there are alot of people on there looking for the wrong type of relationship. I have chatted online with some real desperate guys. One asked me if i wanted to get married soon, and how soon did i want kids cause he wanted them right away. I was like ummmmmm i'm like 24 , no babies for me yet hehe. 
    I find that if you chat online with them for awhile, ask them all the right questions and then move to a phone conversation or two before the initial date you can usually weed out the weirdos. Like i said before, for anyone, male or female, be really careful who you meet in person. Make sure someone knows where you are and who you are with. Never tell them where you live or work. Meet them in a public place. Never get in a car with them. Trust your instincts, if someone is giving you the creeps then end the date and call a friend to come get you. Just some safety tips for the world of online dating.  >


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## Sh0rtbUs (12 Aug 2005)

try www.Plentyoffish.com

Its free, and theres some pretty interesting people there.


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## 762gunner (12 Aug 2005)

Retired CC, nope, didn't take offense at anything.  At my age, there's not much at all that really offends me (at least, nothing that wouldn't offend us all).

     Everyone has great suggestions, but even most of them won't work here, MAYBE the problem is that I just need a kick in the butt for the heck of it.  Frankly, I'm surprised that I haven't yet seen a post that says "TOUGH LUCK, SUCKER, THAT'S THE CAREER YOU PICKED, SUCH IS THE LIFE, SUCK IT UP AND CARRY ON  :crybaby: ", or something to that effect.

     For now, I guess, a day at a time.  And yeah, SOMEDAY, perhaps I will meet that someone special.


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## Roy Harding (12 Aug 2005)

Redneck said:
			
		

> Retired CC, nope, didn't take offense at anything.  At my age, there's not much at all that really offends me (at least, nothing that wouldn't offend us all).
> 
> Everyone has great suggestions, but even most of them won't work here, MAYBE the problem is that I just need a kick in the butt for the heck of it.  Frankly, I'm surprised that I haven't yet seen a post that says "TOUGH LUCK, SUCKER, THAT'S THE CAREER YOU PICKED, SUCH IS THE LIFE, SUCK IT UP AND CARRY ON  :crybaby: ", or something to that effect.
> 
> For now, I guess, a day at a time.  And yeah, SOMEDAY, perhaps I will meet that someone special.



" MAYBE the problem is that I just need a kick in the butt"

I think you just gave it to yourself.


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## bossi (13 Aug 2005)

re: online dating



			
				camochick said:
			
		

> ... I find that if you chat online with them for awhile, ask them all the right questions and then move to a phone conversation or two before the initial date you can usually weed out the weirdos. Like i said before, for anyone, male or female, be really careful who you meet in person. Make sure someone knows where you are and who you are with. Never tell them where you live or work. Meet them in a public place. Never get in a car with them. Trust your instincts, if someone is giving you the creeps then end the date and call a friend to come get you. Just some safety tips for the world of online dating.   >



NOW you tell me ... (i.e. my friends made me promise to NEVER go on a blind date ever again, after I ended up being stalked ... now referred to as the infamous "Shallow Hal" incident ...)


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## atticus (14 Aug 2005)

bossi said:
			
		

> NOW you tell me ... (i.e. my friends made me promise to NEVER go on a blind date ever again, after I ended up being stalked ... now referred to as the infamous "Shallow Hal" incident ...)



So... she was hypnotized into dating you (and then "pursuing") ?


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## Mappy (16 Aug 2005)

I just became single again....it was one of those military relationships where if its a weak relationship, it just gets weaker.  Like seriously, who goes to Cold Lake and doesn't tell their girlfriend?  But even though that relationship didnt work out, its not going to prevent me from seeing military guys again


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## sigtech (16 Aug 2005)

Here is my low down

1) yes clubs and groups is the good place to meet someone much better then the bars.
2) on-line dating such as lavalife are becoming huge for people looking for more then a one night stand ie again better then the bars
3) now here is the big one stop looking if you go to clubs and things like that to meet women , it is my experience that woemen can smell that from a mile away and will avoid you. If you go there with a instest in the said activity and just be yourself with no expiation's of meeting a women , then you will meet her. This is how I got to meet my wife, I had come out of a long term relationship and wasn't looking for anything so when we got together it was friendly no expections and very relaxed and things grew from there. 

That worked for me the harder I looked the farther away the women stayed, when I stopped looking I found the offers to be much more forth coming. Simply if you aren't looking your attitude isn't needed therefor much more appealing to the opposite sex.


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## 762gunner (16 Aug 2005)

I think Lavalife was the 15th or 16th singles site I've tried.  I've never met anyone (and I've met quite a few) on the sites that thought a long-distance relationship would work.  So being at a semi-remote base pretty much strikes out singles sites.
     As far as clubs, organizations, etc, there's not very much at said location.  Being a very family-oriented community, everyone I've met here is either retired, taken one way or another, married, or too young.  And there's no evening classes in anything as far as I know.
     Someone mentioned just doing the things that I like to do.  Drivng to Jasper four times a year for hardcore camping, hiking, horse-back riding, etc. is one thing, but doing that regularly for a relationship wouldn't work.  There's not much else to do outside on the prairies. 
     All *very good* suggestions in a built-up area like a city, but totally useless in certain locations.


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## atticus (17 Aug 2005)

Your in Wainright, it has over 5 000 people. There has gotta be somebody there. Your in your early fourties, my Grandmother got remarried at about 70 so if my 70 year old grandmother can find somebody I'm sure you've still got hope.


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## NavComm (17 Aug 2005)

There's no Alpine Club around there? I thought they were everywhere. Even if they aren't in your city, you can still join them for hikes to huts in the Jasper area.

I don't know Alberta very well but I looked up the Alpine Club website and they have a clubhouse in Canmore and a hut at Lake Louise http://www.alpineclubofcanada.ca/facility/clubhous.html

If you are the outdoors type, this is a good club to meet people of all ages that share your interest.

You may not meet the love of your life, but at least you'll widen your circle of friends while pursuing something you enjoy.


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## Fry (24 Aug 2005)

How's the situation in Borden?


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## redleafjumper (24 Aug 2005)

Hey there redneck, you really need to make an attitude adjustment.  You have been getting some very effective advice here and  blowing a lot of it off.  The Alpine Club is certainly a good bet, I lost three good climbing partners  over the years to other club members!    And another thing, don't rule out taking kids on long trips, even in Jasper and other mountain parks.  My toddler went to Jasper with me for a week and she trooped along just fine, even if she did have to be carried from time to time and wasn't willing to go up any major peaks.  If you meet a single mom, she'd probably really appreciate a guy who is willing to involve the child(ren).  

Adjust your sights and  you'll find yourself on target faster than you might expect.  Personally I'm not big on the internet meeting ground but I know many who are and several who have found partners that way.  

I would recommend the advice that you have been given, join some clubs and go on some trips - the ACC has local sections in many areas and they frequently do outings.  If you want to meet someone that shares your interest in the outdoors try that group or other outdoor clubs.  As for the military thing being an issue, a tip there is to pick your battles. If you are going to get into arguments about defence policy with everyone who asks a question, then you won't do well.  If people ask you about your chosen career and you give them short honest answers then that's helpful - just make sure that you are showing interest in what they do and who they are.  give people a chance and give them the opportunity to give you a chance.


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## lacedtia (25 Aug 2005)

Well.. I am a single woman in her late 30's and I am actively seeking men in uniform.  I have dated one for 5 years, but it ended when it didn't progress in either direction.  In my past experiences, I have found that some are actually out to find "a stop along the way".  I don't want to be one of those.. I would like to find a military male single who is ready for a committed relationship with someone who is independant and can take care of herself. Being alone for such a long time and raising children alone, I know how to take care of myself for terrific lengths of time.  I am not sure this site is for me.. But I have to try something.. The life of the Man In Uniform is truly intriguing to me, and is the type of life that I am looking for. I have been told that I would not be able to handle it by a man in uniform. I don't believe that is so. The whole familial atmosphere of friends is wide.. and that also is what pulls me towards that life.  

Now if I am out of line here, and my post does not belong in here..  please let me know and I will remove it.. Still navigating and trying to figure out how to find myself a long-term relationship with a Man in Uniform!

Have a great day and stay safe!
Lace


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## NavComm (25 Aug 2005)

Well  I say this thread is about to get a whole lot more interesting!   :soldier:

Personally I don't think the uniform makes the man. There are plenty of different men in the military. Some are probably good soul mate material and others are probably just fodder. Sounds to me like you are limiting yourself.

But then again, some women only date business men, or male models, musicians, poets, or what-have-you. So if a military man is what you truly have your heart set on, I'm sure you can make it happen.

Why do you think some guy in uniform told you that you 'won't be able to handle it'? What did he mean by 'it'? His big _weapon_?  If you handled it for 5 years, you can probably go the distance.

Are you looking for an officer, NCM, JTF2 ninja type or what? Do you prefer army/navy/airforce uniforms?  Be specific because you don't want to waste time on some grunt in cadpat when it's a flyboy you really want.

You should probably open a new thread, give out your height/weight/measurements, post a few pics of yourself, list all your hobbies and interests (other than military men) if you have any and wait for the flood of offers to come rolling in.

Good luck and good on ya knowing what you really want!


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## lacedtia (25 Aug 2005)

LOL!  Hi ya there.. 

You are an absolute hoot.  Trust me.. I am 38 and a single parent of a special needs child of which I have raised single handedly.  I have dated men from many walks of life. *yawn* I got bored of the same old thing. As for why I want a man (Army that is)... They have a very unique way about them. Maybe I am a glutton for punishment, who knows?  It is not the uniform that attracts me, it is the man behind the clothes. I think some know exactly what they want and are up front and open andhonest about it. I know there are some players who are looking for a "girl in every port" type thing, but I DO KNOW there are some that have settled down and are not afraid of committment. 

That remark about the soul connection, is exactly why we split up finally after 17 months of limbo. He admitted finally that he would always love me, but I would never be a part of his soul. We parted on excellent terms and are still very close in the friend way..  unfortunately, the physical aspect has had to be sequestered :-\  

The part about asking why I "wouldnt be able to handle it", I believe he was referring to the life of being a soldiers wife.  What he doesn't realize is that I have been raising a child alone for 16 years now. I guess he figured I would not be able to handle the sometimes distance..  both physically/emotionally if he was to go overseas.  I am beginning to think that was just his way of saying.."there is no future for US as a couple".  I am extremely independent and strong and am able to be alone for lengths of time.. my goodness.. 16 years and raising a child with special needs alone? 

LMAO at the flyboy remark.. a funny story about one actually.. but will save that for later  

Actually Reg Army all the way!  I really did not have a problem with him becoming emotionally distant at times, I needed my own emotional space as well, so didn't really affect me a great deal of the time.  Even today he says the same thing.. He says I am very special, but if that Soul Connection isn't there.... As for time apart physically.. well I have been alone and to give up my independence all at once would scare the crap out of me. I have never "settled" and lived with anyone since I moved out on my own at 18. I have dated a few military--reg force army-- for the past 10 years and can't seem to get enough of them.  They are a unique person and have many of the qualities I look for. 

So, you see, it is not the uniform.  It is the man who is wearing it that catches my interest.  

I will post a pic some day.. but I would really like to get comfy with this site first if that is ok? 

Take care and stay safe
Lace


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## Fry (25 Aug 2005)

I know what you mean. My only fear of it all, is that should I choose to decide to make the CF my career, I hope that I'm able to find someone who's a little flexible with the situation, because many aren't fond of the whole being away for long periods of time thing.


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## lacedtia (25 Aug 2005)

Exactly!  I also realize.."some" women have a habit of pulling out that old Tide Box once hubbies leave.. And that is exactly what happened to my ex when he got divorced while over seas in Bosnia.  I can very much understand the effects of something like that happening as it has happened to me too. I think what I am getting at is alot of the "girls" who marry quickly into the Military Life become quite frightened of all the time spent alone while hubbies/bf's are away and find someone closer to hold them.  You have to remember, these girls go from home with mom/dad to a husband that is not there. Issues arise that kill a relationship from fidelity to money issues.  But, rest assured all you guys! There are some of us that have learned life experiences and we are NOT ALL LIKE THAT!  Trust is a huge issue with most of the men in uniform I believe. Neither myself nor the ex questioned each others fidelity, it was just a given....

I was with my ex for 5 years.. and with another for 2 years.  I would like to find a reg force man for lifelong ups, downs, boring times, exciting times, etc.  I think that is part of the excitement. You get to miss each other for periods of time and sparks do fly when you return home.. keeps the excitement part alive and kickin... ya know what I mean ?  :blotto:

Lace


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## Fry (25 Aug 2005)

yeah... true enough... shit happens I guess... however along with being away for long periods of time, I think the whole training and military bit isn't appealing to many women, I think they just like the uniform... and some of em like the paycheque+benefits that come with it.  :


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## lacedtia (25 Aug 2005)

You mean they get a paycheck? and benefits?   You mean HE could have paid my way to dinner and a movie?    OH MY! I wish someone would have told me about that.. Hmmm  if I was in it for the paycheck and benefits.. I would have had him knock me up so I could get a bit of the cake too!    

Yes you are so right. There are some out there to reap the "benefits", but the only benefits that I want are the ones you can't buy with money.  And, some actually think that yes, some of us are out for the money.  No, I am not in it myself for the money.  I have my own money, well enough to get me through anyhow. 

Good point though! And too true!  

Lace


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## TCBF (25 Aug 2005)

"Good looking shoes, a good looking belt and a good looking watch."

But you didn't remind us to wear CLOTHES did you?  'BANG'(sound of TCBF banging head on computer desk).  Don't you think you maybe left out a pretty important part? (BANG).  It all seemed so straightforward and simple (BANG) .  But noooooooo...... (BANG).    At least the female constable was nice to me (BANGBANG).

If my wife is reading this, I'm just kidding. ;D

Tom


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## NavComm (25 Aug 2005)

Lace, good reply! I too have a special needs child so I know how that goes. I think you might be onto somethng here! How close are you to that isolated guy in Alberta? Do you hike? Are you a member of the Alpine Club?

If this all works out I want to be referred to as "She who hooked up those two ships in the night...." no money please, just send referrals


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## Gouki (25 Aug 2005)

Fry said:
			
		

> How's the situation in Borden?



Bleachers on a thursday night is pretty decent. But if its one night stand type action you want then Queens in Barrie is the place for you ..


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## lacedtia (25 Aug 2005)

WHOA!   Wait a minute.. You mean you wear civvy clothes too?   Hmmm.. Gonna have to talk to ex bout that.. He said they weren't allowed to so we was always nekky! :   Three Thrashings for a WO who shall remain nameless   :-*

Lace


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## NavComm (25 Aug 2005)

Steve said:
			
		

> Bleachers on a thursday night is pretty decent. But if its one night stand type action you want then Queens in Barrie is the place for you ..



Don't tell Fry about Bleachers.....recruits can't go there  :crybaby:


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## lacedtia (25 Aug 2005)

WEll , well well..   Wheeeeee !  Then you must know about how independence comes easily for me then!Yay!  You must be one heckuva person to do that and be in the military all at the same time!  

I salute you love!  

LOL!  Unfortunately, I am in South Manitoba and no I don't believe we have a club like that here.. We do have an Armoury though.. My ex is an instructor and came out here to teach courses to the guys, some from Alberta too.

*SIGH*  Maybe some day I shall find what I am seeking!

Lace


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## Gouki (25 Aug 2005)

Wow really? I never knew about that rule, then again I only ate there once (on a thurs night) and it was crazy packed. Some guys go there to pick up girls, I guess it's sort of convenient what with our barracks about a 5 minute walk away and all


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## Gouki (25 Aug 2005)

lacedtia said:
			
		

> WEll , well well..   Wheeeeee !  Then you must know about how independence comes easily for me then!Yay!  You must be one heckuva person to do that and be in the military all at the same time!
> 
> I salute you love!
> 
> ...



If you're talking about living in/near Brandon or Winnipeg I can think of several right off the top of my head in South Man. right off the bat


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## lacedtia (25 Aug 2005)

LOL!  If you name a few from Shilo I bet you would hit head on with that one!  I have tried searching for some on LL and Y! Personals.. But, no such luck and no bites.

Actually, The ex gave me a lead on one that might have been compatible with my search, but there was no initial "spark" of interest. 

That one was interested in only a "fly by night" type deal, so it was all good that he was up front about the whole thing.  

Lace


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## NavComm (25 Aug 2005)

Steve said:
			
		

> Wow really? I never knew about that rule, then again I only ate there once (on a thurs night) and it was crazy packed. Some guys go there to pick up girls, I guess it's sort of convenient what with our barracks about a 5 minute walk away and all



Yes, recruits are limited to the "O" Club. It never was open when I was there. I couldn't figure out why they gave us leave and gave us an O Club card but the damn club (as far as I heard) was never open when we were on leave.

We did, however, run past Bleachers almost daily and see several people having what appeared to be a very nice time in there!


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## NavComm (25 Aug 2005)

lacedtia said:
			
		

> WEll , well well..     Wheeeeee !   Then you must know about how independence comes easily for me then!Yay!   You must be one heckuva person to do that and be in the military all at the same time!
> 
> I salute you love!



I just joined the navy reserve. My son is 13 and it seemed a good time to do something for me. I have a full-time civvie job (19 years in January) so I joined late...better late than never


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## Gouki (25 Aug 2005)

Shilo: Without a doubt .. Cecils

Brandon: Gravity

Winnipeg: Palminos club and some place close to Sargent street but I forgot the name

Scummy places but ... nature of the game I guess


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## lacedtia (25 Aug 2005)

Well you go then!   Show these guys how to do it right! LOL   Mine is 16 years old now... I have devoted quite a few years to my son.. I love him very much.   Now I seek something for me and me alone.   That may sound a bit selfish, but we all need something for ourselves at some point!

You sought a career.. and now I'm seeking a life partner who understands a bit about struggle and how to persevere through tough times.   Maybe that is one of the qualities I'm looking for. Someone who knows how to actually work through the tough times to achieve their goals and dreams.....I know my ex knew how to do that. They don't give up very easily and do have a staying power, as long as all the ingredients are there to begin with!

Lace


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## 9nr Domestic (25 Aug 2005)

Lacedtia

You should come to Shilo for Oktoberfest if you want to meet the Reg. force Army type. I think you might be able to buy tickets at Sobey's in Brandon. I will check the poster if you like.


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## lacedtia (25 Aug 2005)

Actually, I live in a town between Brandon and Wpg.. The only time I go to Wpg. is for my son's Dr. Appts. and that is by bus.... 

But, I have never been to Brandon before..

I have really no friends who are interested in Military men either.. So, if I go.. I go solo.. No fun in that!  LMAO!

I only have 1 person I know who is married to a man in the Military, and they don't go to socializing events. As far as I know my abilities are limited to hopefully falling into one over the net or strictly by chance. 

Lace


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## lacedtia (25 Aug 2005)

LOL!  I just checked out your profile.. you were probably one of his students out there this summer!  

What a coincidence!  Shhhhhhh.. don't divulge too much info... HEHEHE  :

Lace


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## Fry (25 Aug 2005)

So basically on leave... what can I do in borden? Like many clubs/bars? I'm big into darts, lol.


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## Gouki (25 Aug 2005)

buell gym .. WASAGA BEACH (its awesome), going into Barrie for the bars/clubs, the O club..

Look there are a lot of stuff you can do if you look around, but wasaga is definately a big plus


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## camochick (25 Aug 2005)

Don't want to offend, but i really think that it's silly only to date a man based on what he does for a living. Why rule out someone who could be a good match just because he is not in the service? You are limiting your options significantly especially since you say that you don't have many options for military men in your area. I say give the civilians a chance too, you never know who you are going to meet.


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## NavComm (25 Aug 2005)

lacedtia said:
			
		

> Well you go then!   Show these guys how to do it right! LOL   Mine is 16 years old now... I have devoted quite a few years to my son.. I love him very much.   Now I seek something for me and me alone.   That may sound a bit selfish, but we all need something for ourselves at some point!
> 
> You sought a career.. and now I'm seeking a life partner who understands a bit about struggle and how to persevere through tough times.   Maybe that is one of the qualities I'm looking for. Someone who knows how to actually work through the tough times to achieve their goals and dreams.....I know my ex knew how to do that. They don't give up very easily and do have a staying power, as long as all the ingredients are there to begin with!
> 
> Lace



Thanks  I think you really are on to something here. I think you will make this happen and that is great! I completely understand doing for yourself and I applaud you for it. We can't really be good parents if we aren't happy within ourselves and each person decides what that personal happiness is. I know my original post was a bit tongue in cheek but I think you understand it was a 'conversation starter'. Now you're invited to Brandon! Whoooo hoooo I might just join you there! Sounds like good times are a rollin!

Fry...as Steve says...Wasaga Beach for the younger people was fine...me, I went to Barrie and relaxed after one weekend at Wasaga I knew it wasn't my bag but plenty of fun was had there I'm sure  You'll find out once you get there! Oh and beware taxi drivers who want you to pay a return fare...there's a reason they aren't welcome in Wasaga Beach


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## NavComm (25 Aug 2005)

camo she's dead set on a military man, I see where you're going with this and you know you just have to let people be people sometimes.Personally, of the men I've met in my short military career, I wouldn't hook them up with my worst enemy but to each their own.


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## lacedtia (25 Aug 2005)

camochick said:
			
		

> Don't want to offend, but i really think that it's silly only to date a man based on what he does for a living. Why rule out someone who could be a good match just because he is not in the service? You are limiting your options significantly especially since you say that you don't have many options for military men in your area. I say give the civilians a chance too, you never know who you are going to meet.



Good point!   But I am 38, For about 10 of those years I did date civvies. It seems to me they are the ones with negative baggage and looking for woman to blame or take their problems out on. I was made to feel as though I was beneath them, being a single parent, alone, and struggling. The 2 longest term relationships I have had in my life were with Military men.   They treated me with respect, honour and never once was I made to feel beneath them in any shape or form.   It's like I stated earlier, men in the military have a unique personality that is separate from the men out in civvi land.   They know their values. They know how to respect. They know how to treat you with dignity and are mostly, not afraid to show it.

Now, I had my questions about all this stuff before.. It is something within me that says that is the type of person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Does that make any sense?
Lace


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## Fry (25 Aug 2005)

as long as I can get to a bar/pub/club that has decent booze prices and great people, I'll be happy


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## lacedtia (25 Aug 2005)

NavComm said:
			
		

> Thanks  I think you really are on to something here. I think you will make this happen and that is great! I completely understand doing for yourself and I applaud you for it. We can't really be good parents if we aren't happy within ourselves and each person decides what that personal happiness is. I know my original post was a bit tongue in cheek but I think you understand it was a 'conversation starter'. Now you're invited to Brandon! Whoooo hoooo I might just join you there! Sounds like good times are a rollin!



Yes!  I knew what you are all about.  Don't worry about it!  You need someone new every now and then just to spice things up a bit.  Otherwise what a boring world this would be!  :-*


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## NavComm (25 Aug 2005)

Fry said:
			
		

> as long as I can get to a bar/pub/club that has decent booze prices and great people, I'll be happy



OK reality check: You can get to a bar about week 4 if your unit did all the right things. That bar will most likely be in Wasaga Beach. Expect to go without all the comforts of home/life-as-you-know-it for at least 4 weeks. It's not all bad. In fact, it's good. It's hard and it's stupid and it makes no sense, but it's what you want. It's what you signed up for. Play the game and get through it. There's plenty of fun and drinking to be had AFTER basic. It's 8 weeks of your life. I realize when you're 20 something that seems like a long time, but in the big scheme of things, it's nothing. Do you want this or do you have to have 'fun'? You'd better redefine 'fun'.


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## lacedtia (26 Aug 2005)

OK all!  Seems as though my computer is going to clonk out on me here for the night!  It was very nice to have met you all!  If I have upset anyone... I apologize.  I am looking forward to coming back soon to check out some more of this site. Very interesting in here..  Loving the different view points.. Gives me a chance to voice some of my opinions on relationships..

Take care and Stay Safe!
Lace


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## garb811 (26 Aug 2005)

Fry said:
			
		

> as long as I can get to a bar/pub/club that has decent booze prices and great people, I'll be happy


For that my friend, I would heartily recommend the Hug and Slug.  You've never been to Borden until you've been bagged and tagged by one of the ladies with great big, uh, hearts who frequent that fine establishment.  Please note that this is not the proper name of the venue, as we don't want the secret getting out, but if you ask your instructors, they'll be more than happy to provide you with directions.


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## Fry (26 Aug 2005)

Haha, I know... I'll be lucky if we get out to a club or a pub...

8weeks? thought it was 10? oh well, it's all good... Hug and Slug? I'll keep that in mind


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## marlene (27 Aug 2005)

Hobbies I love and volunteer work has always worked for me which is exactly why I'm on this thread today. I just moved to Toronto and need to get involved, make some friends etc. In Vancouver I did some volunteer work for mililtary family services helping people with their running programs, taking people mountain biking etc. Toronto seems to be a different climate though - any suggestions? I'd love to get involved in anything to do with sports - running, climbing, skate skiing, mountain biking, adventure racing - helping with sporting events, helping with cadets and camping trips, training?  I will get in touch with military family services and cadets but ALL suggestions are welcome. (p.s. used to work as an outdoor guide, fitness expert, mountain bike coach in van but Toronto is sooooo different (not looking for work just wanna VOLUNTEER doing the things I love to do for the millitary).

merlane


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## NavComm (27 Aug 2005)

Merlane I'm dissappointed that someone with your interests has left Vancouver! Where were you when I was begging people if they wanted to go hiking in Chilliwack? 

I wish you the best of luck in Toronto. I don't know much about TO, only been in the airport a few times. You are fairly close to Borden though and there are a lot of military people there! You might want to take a drive there and hook up with some people at the gym.


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## lacedtia (30 Aug 2005)

NavComm said:
			
		

> Lace, good reply! I too have a special needs child so I know how that goes. I think you might be onto somethng here! How close are you to that isolated guy in Alberta? Do you hike? Are you a member of the Alpine Club?
> 
> If this all works out I want to be referred to as "She who hooked up those two ships in the night...." no money please, just send referrals



You know Nav?  Good idea!   >  Well, email and phones are alot of fun now!  ;D  Where do you want referrals sent out to?    

Nav!  I salute you !   

Take Care and Stay Safe
Lace


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## NavComm (30 Aug 2005)

now I'm not sure if you're mocking me lol but in case you're not just text me here


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## lacedtia (30 Aug 2005)

No mocking.. Me and redneck been chatitng it up!  He's cute and nice..  I'm serious..  You had a great thought and I did it!  

IT WAS WORTH IT!  ;D


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## NavComm (30 Aug 2005)

way to go! You better both join the Alpine Club!


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## lacedtia (30 Aug 2005)

LOL!  No Alpine Club here unfortunately!  But hey..  I really gotta run now.. got a phone call to make


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## OREO (31 Aug 2005)

I would just like to say that I am impressed that you would notice those three things.  I am not a very judgemental woman, but I will admit that the first thing I look at when I see a man, is his footwear, and then, yes, to see if he is wearing a belt.  The watch to is a part of it, but not really as big a part for me.  The next thing I will look at is his hair cut.  Given that military memebers are supposed to keep it above the ears and off the collar, does not mean that a person takes pride in their hair and the way it loosk.  I think if a man takes the time to do something with his hair before leaving the house speaks to his character.

Always
M


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## Della (7 Nov 2005)

Redneck ... if it makes you feel any better, I'm in exactly the same position .... except I dont have the same "excuses" that you do.   I think the older you get the harder it is to find someone.

oh ... and be very careful of those internet dating sites & chat rooms ..... if it wasnt for those types of sites, I'd probably still be married (remember, if you're not looking someone in the eye, the may not be telling the entire truth)

I'd love to offer some wondeful advice, but unfortunately I have absolutely no ideas .... I've just learned to keep busy, and have gotten into some wonderful volunteer work.

good luck !!


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## 762gunner (20 Nov 2005)

I guess it boils down to that old line from the 60's:  "If'n the Army wanted ya to have a wife, they'da issued you one!"

     BTW, the buffalo here are starting to look good... need a step ladder but the darn critters won't stand still!    ;D


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## AoD71 (20 Nov 2005)

Steve said:
			
		

> ...WASAGA BEACH (its awesome)...
> ...Look there are a lot of stuff you can do if you look around, but wasaga is definately a big plus...



For sure! I live here, and its a great place to be when long weekends/vacations come around. But I'm gonna let all of you guys on a little secret! If you are looking to meet someone, take up skiing!! I don't know if there are places to ski where you live, but there are atleast 4 or 5 within short driving distance of my place. Skiing is great for meeting people if you are alone because you're always sitting with different people on the lift (unless of course you meet someone that day  :blotto. People who ski/snowboard are generally fun and exciting, plus you already have something in common! I am usually able to strike up a conversation, even though I am shy around people I don't know because its easy when you are sitting with a person alone for a few minutes. If you are having trouble, start with "It's a great day on the hill, don't you think?" or "Do you come up here often?" or even "Are you from out-of-town?". You should go one better and pick up a pair of Snowblades. YES! Those short, awesome looking skis. They are fun and people ask me about them 80% of the time right off-the-bat. A great topic starter - they'll usually ask me things like "Are they fun?" and they see you as an adventurous person who likes to try new things. Romantic moments are not uncommon up on the hill, especially during the night. But you just have to make sure you don't have boogers running down your nose, cuz its hard to tell when your face is numb from the cold!! (NOT speaking from personal experience  ;D)

I hope my advice helps you guys out. Good luck on the hunt!


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