# My personnal story



## Caesar416 (21 Oct 2005)

There we go. Last week, I told my parents about my plans to join the Canadian army as a LOG officer. My dad, personnally, is very upset about my decision and wants me to forget about it. He has seen too many tragedies on tv about soldiers with multiple complexes, sick in their head, a leg missing... anyway you see the picture. His father jumped off the train leading them ultimately to Dieppe... None of his friends came back, you know the story.

We had a conversation about my interests, what I seek, my career goal, but unfortunately, in the end, it ended to nothing.
Well, he declared that I always wanted to be a police officer. He said, "when you degree will be done, you could join the RCMP. We have a contact in the family, he's now retired but I'm sure he could help you quite much since he was directly affected to the protection of the PM. I'll even give you 10 000$ if you have to leave home to the appropriated school." 

First, I know he doesn't have 10 000$. He will most probably withdraw actions but he'll need all this money, he's 55 years old. He has no more than 5 years of work.

I can deal with this situation. Just wanted to know if anybody got into such situation. I'm sad my dad won't help me any further, but joining RCMP isn't really what's driving me.

Thank you!


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## youravatar (21 Oct 2005)

Do what's right for you not what's right for your parents.


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## smith (21 Oct 2005)

I was in a very similar situation to you. I always wanted to join the RCMP and the Army (particularly infantry), I had never told my parents about wanting to join the army until about 1 year ago, and when i finally did they were very upset. At first I was reconsidering my decision because I really respect my parents opinion, but after much thought I realized (at least for now) a career in the RCMP was not what was going to make me happy. So i went ahead and put in my application, passed all the testing and have been merit listed. My parents slowly came around and are really happy and proud that I want to be in the CF. My point being that its not what your parents want for you, its what you want to do regardless of their opinion. You have to do whats gonna make you happy and a career in CF is definately one you can be proud of. Good luck with your decision.


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## Caesar416 (22 Oct 2005)

Thanks a lot, man!


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## KID (6 Nov 2005)

I think it is important that you make sure your parents know that you respect their opinion, and that they have to respect yours. There is no use in throwing a tantrum because they don't fully support your plan (I'm sure I am stating the obvious) I think a key part in this is to sit down with your parents and explain to them the reasons you would like to join ie; serving your country, motivating and challenging career, and whatever else drives you to join the CF. Also, there comes a point in everyones life where they have to step out into the world for themselves, and leave the shelter of their parent's watch. They cannot govern your life forever and if the CF is what you want to do, i say aim your sights straight at it and go! But don't close any doors to a sound relationship with your parents, they are the only people who will always be there for you.


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## Pieman (16 Nov 2005)

Caesar416, I think it just takes some time.

I know my family and freinds took a lot of time to get used to the idea. They were pretty darn confused because it was a change of direction in my life and could not understand my modivation to join. But after a while they saw I was determined to join and that it was important to me. Now they all fully support my decision.


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## LordVagabond (1 Dec 2005)

I'm going through the same thing with me mum. My dad, being who he is, doesn't mind what I do with my life, as long as I *DO* something. My mom, on the other hand, is totally adverse to me joining the CF as an officer. She thinks that I'll become some kind of robot that blindly follows orders. I told her that while I hear what she is saying, it's ultimately my decision, as it is my life. The same thing should come from you. Respect your parents, listen to them, but remember, in the absolute very end, it's up to you. Follow your heart.


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## ps387 (15 Dec 2005)

At least they are being up front with their concerns. When I decided to join the CF, I was not looking forward to my parents' reaction. I knew my dad would approve (he was a sig op, but was medically released years ago) but I thought my mom would freak. She didn't. My grandparent's (who both served in WWII with the British Army) didn't really say anything one way or another, but seemed pleased enough.
Well, a couple of weeks ago, I passed my fitness test (the last thing I had to do before being merit listed) and when I phoned to tell my grandparents, my grandmother freaked. "Don't do it!" What?!?! I've been working towards this for a year and this is the time at which you decide to voice your objections? I understand her concerns; whether they have any real foundation is something else entirely. I was just really upset because it occured to me that she didn't say anything up to that point because she either thought I'd lose interest or not be succussful. Either way, it doesn't say much about her opinion of me.
The point is, I would rather my family had spoken to me about their concerns to begin with, as opposed to hoping I'd fail or quit.
As time goes on I'm sure she'll come around, as I'm sure all of your parent's will. Just give them time to get used to the idea. You are their children and it's their natural instinct to want to protect you and keep you safe. It doesn't matter if you're 17 or 28 (like me   ).


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## militarygirl88 (15 Dec 2005)

I had informed my farher last year about wanting to join the CF. My father was totally against it. He claimed that I wouldn't make it. When I told my mother just this past August, she was happy that I wanted to join, although very shocked, because I don't take well to authority. My grandmother, was very excited, unfortunately I could never tell my grandfather as he died before I had the chance, but he would have been proud that I am the first female in my family to go for the military (god rest his soul)... Anyways, as my father suspected I didn't make it in last year, or this year as I ran into some medical problems. Although, I have not made it in this year or last, does not mean I am going to give up. I plan to do what I have to do to straighten out the medical part, then wait and finish my last year of High School, apply to college for Mechanics and Policing, get my degrees then reapply. My father has finally come around to help me with the the processing and getting things done. Which makes me proud, as he was also military... So, if you give your friends and family a chance, they will come around in the end, no matter how opposed they are to your choice in careers at first... Just give them a chance to think it over, and realize that this is something you want...



MilitaryGirl88


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## ChopperHead (15 Dec 2005)

I also had a simililar experince. Im 17 right now and will be applying this summer. anyway when I first told my parents and this was awile ago, I think I was like 8 or so but anyway I suppose they didnt really think anything of it just a chilidish fantasy etc but a couple years ago we were having some serious family promblems and we ended up going to family therapy. and we started getting into it one time and boom she starts crying and freaking out that all your going to do is get yourself killed etc etc. i didnt even know she didnt really approve untill then. My dad didnt have a problem with it and all my grandparents are very proud that I want to do that. My mom eventaully came around to the idea because for one me wanting to join the military has effectively kept me in school and Im 100% sure I would have dropped out by now if I didnt want to get into the military as I have had an extremely hard time there. It's alsp kept me out of any serious trouble. My mom basically says now that shes ok with it because at least Im doing something and arent going to end up being a bum. so just give them time to let it sink in and they will come to except it. I had always wanted to join the military so it wasnt a big shock but i guess my mother just had those feelings all bottled up anyway ya the best thing you can do is talk about it.


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## infamous_p (15 Dec 2005)

ChopperHead said:
			
		

> I also had a simililar experince. Im 17 right now and will be applying this summer. anyway when I first told my parents and this was awile ago, I think I was like 8 or so...



A while ago, when you were eight? Wow.. I know I definitely wasn't making life decisions like that at that age..


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## militarygirl88 (15 Dec 2005)

infamous_p said:
			
		

> A while ago, when you were eight? Wow.. I know I definitely wasn't making life decisions like that at that age..



I made my choice of a military occupation when i was younger then 8. However, i never really discussed it with my family until I was about to turn 16 in 04...Some people just know at a young age what they want to do for the rest of their lives, like my father was in the military and now he fosters kids...He knew that's what he wanted to do from the time he was little, he wanted to do his 4 years in the military then get into foster care...

MilitaryGirl69


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## ChopperHead (15 Dec 2005)

ya I wanted to earlier then 8 but before then it was more like a fantasy like oooohh that would be cool sorta thing. anyway ya I plan on making the military my career and after I retire lol yes I have already thought about retirement   at such a young age, I would like to get into politics afterward.


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## militarygirl88 (15 Dec 2005)

After the military when i retire, im going to be a reg mechanic or cop, i am going to college to get a degree in both... i guess im like you in away chopperhead, already know what im going to do after i retire
 MilitaryGirl69


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## canadianblue (15 Dec 2005)

Throughout high school I wanted to become a police officer. Finally I decided to go through the application process with the MP reserves, and was also applying for police studies. But I was driven closer and closer to join the military, right to the point where I had to choose between doing reserves part time along with a police foundations program at Northern college, or going fulltime. I decided to join the military fulltime, and so far have no regrets, despite the fact I didn't do as well on my BMQ as I hoped I enjoy the military, and am looking forward to completing all my training. 

Just out of curiosity, if you are interested in becoming a police officer, and joining the military why not go in as an MP. Thats a route I'm seriously considering if I decide I don't want to be a Signal Operator for the rest of my career. Lot's of oppurtunities within the MP branch, might as well make it an option.


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## militarygirl88 (16 Dec 2005)

Futuretrooper said:
			
		

> Just out of curiosity, if you are interested in becoming a police officer, and joining the military why not go in as an MP. Thats a route I'm seriously considering if I decide I don't want to be a Signal Operator for the rest of my career. Lot's of opportunities within the MP branch, might as well make it an option.




i was going to go in as a Mechanic, if that doesn't work then i would go in as an MP, but at this time my goal is to be a Vehicle Tech...and i was speaking in terms of retirement. however, as of lastnight i was offered a partnership in a nightclub with a good friend of mine, so now i have a few opportunities...the military will always be my number 1 choice in career, but if things work for my in other ways, i just might go for it, you know?? 
good luck with Sig Ops

MilitaryGirl69


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## gnplummer421 (2 Jan 2006)

Greetings,

Back in 1979 I got on the train In Sarnia for boot camp a couple of months after my 18th birthday, and never looked back. My Mother still blames my Dad for forcing me into the army, and never returning to my home town. My dad gave me three choices and three months; Full-time job - school - or out the door on my butt. I was running out of time when I saw the recruiting poster - a guy firing a Carl Gustav. I have no regrets.

Cheers :rocket:


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## elminister (3 Jan 2006)

Sometimes we are faced with difficult and sometimes hard-breaking choices just have your head on and walk the path you have chosen. Don't worry, sometimes families do come around. Mine did.


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## pte_litvinchuk (24 Jan 2006)

i am 17 now and taking my BMQ through co-op at  my school my parents are fairly upset that im now in the CF ive gone through the whole process and have drew kit as well. my mom was there when i was sworn in (she had to sign some paperwork) but stayed to watch. my grandparents are proud of me, although my grandpa lost three brothers in WW2. My dad just keeps warning me not to get involved to much or ill end up getting shipped to a foreign country. Its your life you need to decide what will work in your favor putting you farther ahead without hurting people.


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## 1feral1 (26 Jan 2006)

As a young man you have signed up, your parents have consented. Its your life and you make the decisions even at 17. Any deployment will not happen until you are OVER 18 anyways, so you aint going anywhere yet.

Your family should not criticise what you have done and should support you fully, if not they should not have signed the consent form, and you should have waited until you were 18 for any such action.

My advice would be enjoy the Militia, stay in school using the Militia to support your hobbies and habits. Make some great friends, create some happy memories, and then once educated to at least Gr 12 (or 13 in Ont) make up your mind to go permanent.

Ther will always be a deployment there for you somewhere, but be careful what you wish for.

Although my family was not keen about me leaving for Australia, they fully supported my decison and still do.

Cheers,

Wes


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## Spazz (26 Jan 2006)

Wesley H. Allen said:
			
		

> and then once educated to at least Gr 12 (or 13 in Ont) make up your mind to go permanent.



No grade 13 (OAC) here anymore, We only go to 12 but you can do what is called "a victory lap" and stay an extra year. ;D


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## Sgt. Toms-Cadets (27 Jan 2006)

Hello:

Since this is a forum for discussing reaction of parental units to news of sons/daughters joining the military I thought I might as well share mine.

I have wanted to be in the military since I was about 14 years old. The whole problem started when I brought home papers from the air show to join the air cadet squadron here in Edmonton. I wasn't at this time aware of my parent's position on the military so I figured that since the air cadets a free extra-curricular activity and I could even get my pilots licence out of it, then they would be thrilled. Boy was I ever wrong. My mother retorted that I was never ever to join anything military because she didn't support the military or the means for military operations to take place. I don't blame her, as she has had to live in a family where her father subjected the family to the many strange and bizarre military-like routines to which my mother hated. From that day when I showed my mother the papers and was denied I made my decision. I decided that I would do everything in my power to be in the military. I researched and scrutinized the DND.ca website, secretly acquired pamphlets and for every bit of extra information I gained my urge and thirst to join grew ever greater.

In this year (last year of high school) I announced to my Dad that I had gone to the recruiting office to apply for RMC. I said it flat out and told him quite sternly that I was of legal age and could make my own decisions. My father decided to tell me the matter would be discussed once my mother got home from vacation (yes I took this opportunity while the dictator was gone ;D).  My mother got home and I decided to clear out and keep a low profile. I was expecting the entire world to crumble when my mother called me to see her. I got the whole butterfly feeling that I am sure many people in my situation have had and knew that this was going to be big. Thoughts ran though my head as I stood in front of my mother. I figured I might as well start phoning up friends asking if I could live with them until BMQ because I had that horrible gut feeling my mother would kick me out and disown me. I thought this because often when I brought up military subjects or joined the colour party on my cadet team (St. John Ambulance Brigade) she would become furious and some form of retribution would be laid on me. 

As I stood sweating and expecting the worst my mother just stood up and hugged me. She said "I have tried to bring you up to what I believe is right but I can tell from this that you already know what is right and I will back you up and support you". Believe me this feeling of absolute and complete utter joy flooded out of me. I just couldn't handle it. I was entirely not expecting what my mother did and almost felt this giant euphoric shock as I tried to register what she said. 

So anyway, my family knows that I am dedicated to what I want and have seen that dedication in action in other situations including school and knew very well that respecting my wishes would be best. On the other hand I did sit with my parents and explain to them that I would always respect who they were and that I had taken all their wishes and ideas into account the day I walked into that recruiting office.

That's my story and all I can say is I am really glad mine turned out good. I know people who haven't had the same luck as I.

Cheers


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## civvy3840 (30 Jan 2006)

I decided that I was going to join around the age of 12. I started reading military books such as Immediate Action, Bravo Two Zero, CQB, or any other military related book.

Later on I discovered the recruiting site, and DND.ca. I would also look at other countries recruiting sites (British, American, Australian...) I would look at these sites everyday after school. Then I found army.ca. I found this site to be a lot more interesting because there are different posts everyday. 

When I was 14 I started talking to my dad about joining. My father started out in the Royal Regiment of Canada, and later transfered to 3 PPCLI, he then joined the Airborne Regiment in 2 Commando, he then became a Sig Op in Kingston before he was medically released a couple years ago. He supports me 100%. 

My mother is a different story. She hates the idea of me joining. I turn 16 in may so I plan to start contacting the recruiting center in March. I will get a whole bunch of info show it to her, show her this site, and the recruiting one, and all of the videos I have collected. If she still says no then I will get my dad to sign the application instead of her or just bug her until she finally gives in.


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