# Darwin Awards & runners-up through the years



## GAP (7 Aug 2009)

The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of   
the human genome by honoring those who   
accidentally remove themselves from it...
Article Link

A One Track Mind  
2008 Darwin Award Nominee 
Confirmed True by Darwin 
Article Link
  
(16 July 2008, Italy) Gerhard, 68, was queued at a traffic light in his Porsche Cayenne sportscar. Before one reaches the light, there is a railroad crossing, and Gerhard had not let the queue progress forward far enough before he drove onto the tracks. As you might imagine, given Murphy's Law, a train was coming. 
The safety bars came down, leaving the Porsche trapped on the rails. According to witnesses, it took the driver awhile to realize he was stuck. Finally he jumped from the car and started to run--straight toward the oncoming train, waving his arms in an attempt to save his sportscar! 

The attempt was partly successful. The car received less damage than its owner, who landed 30 meters away. Attempts to revive him were unsuccessful. 

The moral of the story? Momentum always wins. 
End

 Wascally Wabbit  
2008 Darwin Award Nominee 
Unconfirmed by Darwin 
Article Link
  
Snowmobiles and alcohol are a dangerous mix. Then came the rabbit. 
After a day spent partying and racing snowmobiles in the wilderness, a group of snowmobilers were headed back to their cabin, when up popped a jackrabbit! They gave chase. Several collisions were narrowly averted, and so all the snowmobiles backed off... except one. 

This snowmobiler kept his eye on the quarry and rapidly closed in. The rabbit darted aside to save itself. The snowmobiler closed in again. The rabbit ran toward the road, where there was less snow. Trying to ram his rabbit before it crossed the road, the man accelerated to Mach 1. 

But the rabbit had other ideas. It darted into the culvert beneath the road. Witnesses stated that the snowmobiler never even braked. There was a metallic crunch as the accelerating vehicle rammed into the culvert, followed by a blast that shattered the snowmobile into a thousand bits. 

This brand of snowmobile had a fuel tank mounted in front. The culvert admitted the tip of the snowmobile, then cut into the cowling, spilling fuel over the hot engine. The body of the snowmobiler was blown twenty feet back into the field. 

The rabbit's whereabouts was unknown. 
End

Just two of the many examples listed....keep it up folks....we'll get there yet!!


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## PMedMoe (7 Aug 2009)

GAP said:
			
		

> The rabbit's whereabouts was unknown.



 :rofl:


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## GAP (24 Aug 2009)

Shed Protection
2002 Honorable Mention
Article Link

(August 2002, Netherlands) A 66-year-old Margraten resident wanted to protect his garden shed against burglars. The best way to do this, he decided, was to construct a booby trap. He cobbled together some ropes and a shotgun aimed at the door. Proud of his ingenuity, he demonstrated the effectiveness of the device to two friends by shooting himself in the abdomen and lower arm. An emergency operation prevented him from winning a Darwin Award. Police searched his home, and confiscated firearms and ammo, along with 15 full-grown marijuana plants that perhaps helped him formulate this painful lesson in safety. 

The Last Laugh
2003 Honorable Mention
Confirmed True by Darwin
Article Link

(January 2003, Virginia) Paul Powell is not yet out of the gene pool but he will be soon, thanks to his own efforts to enable prosecutors to prove a capital murder charge against him. He had been tried and convicted of the murder of a 16-year-old girl, but his conviction was overturned by the State Appellate Court based on a lack of evidence that he had robbed or raped the woman.

However, due process was not yet done with Powell.

Thinking himself immune to further consequences, Powell wrote a gloating confession and sent it to the prosecutor's office. "Since the Virginia Supreme Court said that I can't be charged with capital murder again, I figured I would tell you the rest of what happened on January 29, 1999, to show you how stupid y'all are." He went on to explain in graphic detail exactly what had happened on the night he murdered the girl.

But Powell did not have the last laugh.

He overlooked a catch. The Court had only ruled that there was not enough evidence for the capital murder conviction, leaving open the possibility of a retrial for lesser charges, or for capital murder should new information surface. The second time around, Powell's boastful letter gave the prosecutors precisely the evidence they needed.

Powell's lawyer "portrayed his client as a bright young man." Bright as a burned-out light bulb! Powell was convicted of capital murder on January 15, 2003.


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## mseop 935 (25 Aug 2009)

Never underestimate the power of stupidity!!!


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## fire_guy686 (25 Aug 2009)

Those are some real gems.


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## ruckmarch (26 Aug 2009)

Just a heads-up to those that might not be aware of the hazards



> An overheated laptop computer left on a couch caused a fire that killed a 56-year-old Vancouver man, B.C.'s Coroner office has concluded.
> 
> The coroner said the fire took place six months ago, but did not release the man's name.
> 
> The fire started after the computer was left on the couch, plugged in and turned on. Because of the lack of ventilation under the laptop, less than an hour later the lithium-ion battery overheated and burst into flames, sparking the fire that eventually killed the man.



http://www.cbc.ca/technology/story/2009/08/26/bc-overheating-laptop-fire-death-vancouver.html?ref=rss


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## PMedMoe (26 Aug 2009)

I nominate him for a Canadian Darwin Award.   :


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## ruckmarch (27 Aug 2009)

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> I nominate him for a Canadian Darwin Award.   :



Ok.....I guess they need to start putting warning on the laptops regarding that


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## GAP (27 Aug 2009)

ruckmarch said:
			
		

> Ok.....I guess they need to start putting warning on the laptops regarding that



Actually they should....most people do NOT realize that laptops are ventilated from the bottom unlike desktops which ventilate from the front and out the back/sides. My grandson was amazed when I showed him the article, because the majority of his use of the laptop is with it sitting on his bed (he then falls asleep with unit on), the laptop sitting on the couch cushion (still running while he takes off with one of his buds to go skateboarding/whatever), laptop (still running) sitting on the carpet........

Ring any bells anyone?


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## PMedMoe (27 Aug 2009)

ruckmarch said:
			
		

> Ok.....I guess they need to start putting warning on the laptops regarding that



Like the warning on a toilet brush that says "Not for personal hygiene"?

I realize that some people may not realize a laptop is ventilated from the bottom, but I mean, seriously?

http://laptopventilation.com/  http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1098061/how_to_keep_your_laptop_ventilated.html

Reminds me of a scene from The Green Mile (after Percy screws up an execution):

Warden:  "Percy. Something to say?"

Percy Wetmore:  "I didn't know the sponge was supposed to be wet."

Warden:  "How many years you spend pissing on a toilet seat before someone told you to put it up?" 

Apologies in advance if anyone is offended.


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## FDO (27 Aug 2009)

Ever wonder why they put the warnings not to use electric hairdryers in the bath or shower?

Winnebego had to put a warning in the owners manual that cruise Control was NOT an auto pilot?

There are diretions on the back of a bottle of shampoo.

And apparently a cup of coffee you buy from Tim Horton's or MacDonalds etc may be hot! who knew!

You just know someone didn't know about the above and sued someone so now there is a warning.


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## ruckmarch (27 Aug 2009)

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> Like the warning on a toilet brush that says "Not for personal hygiene"?
> 
> I realize that some people may not realize a laptop is ventilated from the bottom, but I mean, seriously?
> 
> ...



It's an easy fix to avoid litigation. Mickeydee found that out the hard way with the woman that spilled her hot coffee whilst using the drive-thru

Drive-thrus.....don't even get me started on those  : Most of the time I look into these outlets, there is no one inside but cars are lined up outside.


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## PMedMoe (27 Aug 2009)

FDO said:
			
		

> Ever wonder why they put the warnings not to use electric hairdryers in the bath or shower?
> 
> You just know someone didn't know about the above and sued someone so now there is a warning.



Well, nobody's sued yet as far as I know (regarding the laptop) but how far do we go to protect people from their own stupidity?


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## ruckmarch (27 Aug 2009)

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> Well, nobody's sued yet as far as I know (regarding the laptop) but how far do we go to protect people from their own stupidity?



Moe....all the way and then some. Leave no man/woman behind and all that  ;D


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## PMedMoe (28 Aug 2009)

ruckmarch said:
			
		

> Moe....all the way and then some. Leave no man/woman behind and all that  ;D



Crap.  I thought it was survival of the smartest and all that.  They need to get lifeguards for the gene pool.   :


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## Eye In The Sky (28 Aug 2009)

Next we'll read about the idiot who is suing "Company X" for eating cat kitter from the container as it didn't state "not for human consumption" on it.


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## PMedMoe (28 Aug 2009)

Here's a list of stupid warning labels.

Also, the Wackiest warning labels.



> "Warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued times," said Robert B. Dorigo Jones, M-LAW president. "Plaintiff's lawyers who file the lawsuits that prompt these warnings argue they are making us safer, but the warnings have become so long that few of us read them anymore-- even the ones we should read."



A friend made a comment on Facebook today: "recent observations conclude that in this day and age common sense is a super power" and someone replied: "I think you will have better luck finding super powers these days!"

Too sad and too true.


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## Shec (28 Aug 2009)

One of my all-time faves:  Years ago International Correspondence Schools distributed promotional penny-match books that had a mail-in coupon on the inside of the covering flap so one could request more information.   And bordering the flap from the rows of matches was the stern warning "*Do Not Mail Matches*".


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## Loachman (28 Aug 2009)

FDO said:
			
		

> You just know someone didn't know about the above and sued someone so now there is a warning.



This may not be ignorance and stupidity in all cases. It may be quite the opposite in at least a few.

I am sure that there are some enterprising people who intentionally seek out ways to abuse products in unforeseen and unforeseeable ways in order to extract money from companies, and more than enough similarly-minded lawyers to back them up.

Pizza is cheap, and genital blisters from stuffing it into one's underwear in the absence of a specific warning to the contrary will heal much quicker than it would take you or me to earn $6.78M.


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## GAP (28 Aug 2009)

Loachman said:
			
		

> This may not be ignorance and stupidity in all cases. It may be quite the opposite in at least a few.
> 
> I am sure that there are some enterprising people who intentionally seek out ways to abuse products in unforeseen and unforeseeable ways in order to extract money from companies, and more than enough similarly-minded lawyers to back them up.
> 
> Pizza is cheap, and genital blisters from stuffing it into one's underwear in the absence of a specific warning to the contrary will heal much quicker than it would take you or me to earn $6.78M.



If you weren't in the CF I would begin to wonder if this is your potential retirement package (pun intended).....on the other hand, if you're not going to use it.......................may I?  ( But it's gotta be rising crust vs thin crust) ;D


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## dapaterson (28 Aug 2009)

Loachman said:
			
		

> Pizza is cheap, *and genital blisters from stuffing it into one's underwear in the absence of a specific warning to the contrary will heal much quicker * than it would take you or me to earn $6.78M.



I really, _really_ don't want to know how you know this...


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## Loachman (30 Aug 2009)

Simply following the thought processes as I imagine the suers use:

"What warnings are absent from this product?"

Sorry to disappoint. I've done a few entertaining things while under the influence, but not that.

As for crust options, I'd recommend (not from personal experience, but from careful and sober thought) the cheese-stuffed, if available, for extra stick-and-burn blistering potential.


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## dapaterson (30 Aug 2009)

So, to ensure the specific parameters are clear in my mind - you have no _first hand_ experience with genital blisters _from hot pizza stuffed down your pants_.

Because, let's face it, you're a pilot... and asking for a show of hands on the flight line in any squadron about genital blisters and hot pizza... well, my understanding is that it's a prerequisite for selection for Toronto, at least...


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## CougarKing (10 Dec 2009)

Not exactly high on anyone's list on how they'd want to die.  

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/091210/world/eu_ukraine_bubble_gum_death



> *Police: Ukrainian chemistry student blows off his own face with explosive chewing gum, dies *
> Thu Dec 10, 10:27 AM
> 
> 
> ...


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## Antoine (11 Dec 2009)

Wow, I have seen chem students doing stupid stuffs, but this one blows my mind!

I've learned something new about citric acid (you find a lot of it in lemon), I have 500 g of it on my lab shelve. Sweet, I am going to save on chewing gums.


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## FDO (11 Dec 2009)

Blew his mind too!!


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## Shec (11 Dec 2009)

Was it Bazooka Joe brand bubblegum ?


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## CougarKing (12 Apr 2010)

> *A young Muslim woman had died after her burkha became snagged in a go-kart.*
> The 24-year-old woman, who has not yet been named, died a terrifying death today when a fluttering part of her burkha became caught in the wheels of a go-kart she was driving near the town of Port Stephens, north of Sydney.
> 
> The Muslim clothing the woman was wearing flew back as she sped around the track and part of it became entangled in the go-kart's wheels.
> ...


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## 1feral1 (13 Apr 2010)

Bad news for that woman.

I wonder WRT duty of care what will come of this?

A civil action filed by the family? Would they win? What would have happened if she was refused in the first place (aside from being alive)? Could then a suit be filed against the company for 'discrimination'. 

Or the removal of such garments prior to riding for OHS reasons?

What about restricted vision while operating a vehicle which has an open cabin?

Somtimes common sense preVAILS (no pun intended ;D ). I will say a disaster is a series of a chain of unfortunate events, and breaking that chain would have prevented this unnecessary and gruesome death.

OWDU


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## Strike (13 Apr 2010)

Overwatch Downunder said:
			
		

> A civil action filed by the family? Would they win? What would have happened if she was refused in the first place (aside from being alive)? Could then a suit be filed against the company for 'discrimination'.
> 
> Or the removal of such garments prior to riding for OHS reasons?



This will certainly keep them from being sued for discrimination in the future if they require participants remove/tie back loose-fitting garments in the future.  Not only this operator but for other go-kart operators as well.


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## Bzzliteyr (13 Apr 2010)

I am actually wondering how this fits the description for a "Darwin Award"?

I am pretty sure that women wearing various states of dress all over the world have done similar activities without any problems.  It just so happens this woman was unlucky.  It has nothing to do with stupidity in my opinion.

That has been bothering me since I first read this post this morning. My 2 cents.


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## mariomike (14 Apr 2010)

"Her death is being likened to that of American dancer Isadora Duncan,  acknowledged as being the creator of modern dance, and who was famous for the flowing silk carves she liked to wear.  
But while riding in an open-top car in Nice in 1927, her scarf became  entangled in one of the vehicle's spoked wheels and she was strangled."

I had heard of that. Isadora Duncan had a tragic life and death. Fourteen years earlier, the driver of the car her two children were riding in with their nurse, stalled it while attempting to avoid a collision. He got out to hand-crank the engine, but he had forgotten to set the parking brake, so once he got the car to start, it went across the boulevard and rolled down the embankment into the river below. The children and the nanny drowned.
The old cars were not known for their safety features.


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## PMedMoe (20 Apr 2010)

I guess since these guys didn't die, they only rate a *dis*honorable mention:

*Man injured after using propane tank for target practice*

Police said two men in their mid-20s were at a residence northeast of Shakespeare when the tank exploded. 

“They decided to take target practice and use a rifle to shoot at a propane cylinder,” said Const. Kees Wijnands. 

“They took turns firing at the cylinder from a distance they thought was safe. After a number of shots, one of the rounds struck the tank, causing the cylinder to explode. Parts of the cylinder flew back, striking one of the males and injuring him.” 

 :


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## PMedMoe (14 Oct 2010)

Get 'em before (or while) they breed:



> Who would park the car on a busy freeway in heavy fog, for a quickie?
> Picture this: A young couple driving on Via Dutra, the major freeway in Brazil with tons of heavy traffic, at 6AM under heavy fog the couple decided to park the car for "dating," according to the charming Google translation. And yes, they parked in the right lane of freeway, not on the shoulder or at a gas station -- and naturally, a huge cargo truck comes by and runs right over the car, immediately killing both inside during the act. Double Double Darwin! Two (2) people making two obviously stupid decisions, and natural selection acts at the very moment the two are reproducing . . . Textbook Darwin Award.



http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010.html


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## desert_rat (14 Oct 2010)

Date looks to be 2008 for this contestant's effort...so without further ado here's the "mortar platoon" entry...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QA06wx2qbUA&feature


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## Sapplicant (14 Oct 2010)

desert_rat said:
			
		

> Date looks to be 2008 for this contestant's effort...so without further ado here's the "mortar platoon" entry...
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QA06wx2qbUA&feature




This one  should make it further... took out more than just one of 'em  ;D


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## hold_fast (14 Oct 2010)

As this topic has turned into random links to what people deem worthy of Darwin awards, I think it should be branched off into a separate topic or the original title changed.


Also, I believe it is very wrong to say that this woman is the epitome of stupidity (which is generally the criteria for a Darwin award) simply because she wore a burka. This topic would not exist if it was a white man who died because his long hair was caught in a go-kart.


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## Sapplicant (14 Oct 2010)

hold_fast said:
			
		

> Also, I believe it is very wrong to say that this woman is the epitome of stupidity (which is generally the criteria for a Darwin award) simply because she wore a burka. This topic would not exist if it was a white man who died because his long hair was caught in a go-kart.



Now that would be an award winner. I would hope that *someone* here would post that if they came across it in a news story  ;D


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## PMedMoe (14 Oct 2010)

hold_fast said:
			
		

> As this topic has turned into random links to what people deem worthy of Darwin awards, I think it should be branched off into a separate topic or the original title changed.



Well, mine was actually a 2010 Darwin entry.  However, I do agree with you.  If not splitting the thread, then changing the titile.



			
				hold_fast said:
			
		

> Also, I believe it is very wrong to say that this woman is the epitome of stupidity (which is generally the criteria for a Darwin award) simply because she wore a burka. This topic would not exist if it was a white man who died because his long hair was caught in a go-kart.



Also agree.


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## PMedMoe (16 Nov 2011)

Well, we never started a new Darwin thread for 2011, but here's a candidate:

Man accidentally kills self in front of children

A 45-year-old man died after he accidentally shot himself while sitting in his minivan with his four children, waiting for his wife to return a DVD to a video store in Harrison Crossing, Va., Sunday night.

The man's wife had stepped out to return the DVD and said she heard a pop, the local CBS outlet reported. When she ran back to the minivan, her husband told her he thought he'd shot himself, she told police.

The initial investigation found that when the man tried to unbuckle his seat belt, he hit the trigger of his .40 caliber Glock and shot himself in the hip. He died in hospital.



So, what, no safety?    :


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## MJP (16 Nov 2011)

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> Well, we never started a new Darwin thread for 2011, but here's a candidate:
> 
> Man accidentally kills self in front of children
> 
> ...



It doesn't have one like other pistols and rifles. It uses an external lever on the trigger that needs to be pushed to activate it (plus two internal safeties).


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## PMedMoe (16 Nov 2011)

MJP said:
			
		

> It doesn't have one like other pistols and rifles. It uses an external lever on the trigger that needs to be pushed to activate it (plus two internal safeties).



Well, if it triggered that easily, glad he had it and not the kids.

(Thanks for the lesson!)


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## MJP (16 Nov 2011)

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> Well, if it triggered that easily, glad he had it and not the kids.
> 
> (Thanks for the lesson!)


 No Prob.  I had a good friend shoot himself in the leg playing with a glock.  We told him if he had killed himself, we would have put him in for Darwin award.


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## Retired AF Guy (16 Nov 2011)

MJP said:
			
		

> No Prob.  I had a good friend shoot himself in the leg playing with a glock.  We told him if he had killed himself, we would have put him in for Darwin award.



I wonder if this is a common occurrence with Glock's??


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## mariomike (16 Nov 2011)

"Investigators said Wednesday that the gun the victim was carrying was not housed in a holster. They think it was simply tucked into the waistband of the man's pants.": 
http://www.wtvr.com/news/wtvr-father-had-gun-tucked-into-pants-waistband-20111116,0,1545282.story

This goes into detail on Glock "safe action";
http://www.glock.com/downloads/GLOCK_Gen4_en.pdf

Glock .40 classroom mishap:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pf3ID3XQ6o


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## PMedMoe (17 Nov 2011)

Well, here's two _potential_ candidates:  Two seriously injured while jaywalking in rush-hour traffic

Other links:  CP24  Toronto Star

It would seem that these two women barely made it across three lanes to the median and motorists were warning them not to cross the other three lanes but they did.  The kicker?  Apparently about 100m in either direction was a controlled crossing.   :


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## mariomike (18 Nov 2011)

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> Well, here's two _potential_ candidates:  Two seriously injured while jaywalking in rush-hour traffic
> 
> Other links:  CP24  Toronto Star
> 
> It would seem that these two women barely made it across three lanes to the median and motorists were warning them not to cross the other three lanes but they did.  The kicker?  Apparently about 100m in either direction was a controlled crossing.   :



Even geese know enough to use the controlled crossing at that interesection!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jg1crq46NrA
( That's the Science Centre in the background. )


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## Bruce Monkhouse (21 Dec 2013)

http://jdgroover.wordpress.com/2013/08/20/the-2013-darwin-awards-are-out/

..and the winners for 2013 are............


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## George Wallace (21 Dec 2013)

Bruce Monkhouse said:
			
		

> http://jdgroover.wordpress.com/2013/08/20/the-2013-darwin-awards-are-out/
> 
> ..and the winners for 2013 are............



Love the sig line: 


> *****Remember*****
> 
> They walk among us, they can reproduce.


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## Bruce Monkhouse (10 Feb 2014)

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/11/world/middleeast/suicide-bomb-instructor-accidentally-kills-iraqi-pupils.html

Suicide Bomb Instructor Accidentally Kills Iraqi Pupils
By DURAID ADNANFEB. 10, 2014 

BAGHDAD — A group of Sunni militants attending a suicide bombing training class at a camp north of Baghdad were killed on Monday when their commander unwittingly conducted a demonstration with a belt that was packed with explosives, army and police officials said.

The militants belonged to a group known as the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, or ISIS, which is fighting the Shiite-dominated army of the Iraqi government, mostly in Anbar Province. But they are also linked to bomb attacks elsewhere and other fighting that has thrown Iraq deeper into sectarian violence.

Twenty-two ISIS members were killed, and 15 were wounded, in the explosion at the camp, which is in a farming area in the northeastern province of Samara, according to the police and army officials. Stores of other explosive devices and heavy weapons were also kept there, the officials said.

Eight militants were arrested when they tried to escape, the officials said.

MORE ON LINK


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## jollyjacktar (10 Feb 2014)

"Now pay close attention.  I'm only going to do this once!"


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## medicineman (10 Feb 2014)

So I wonder what the reward in Paradise is for prematurely martyring people that were bent on martyring themselves in jihad?  

MM


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## xo31@711ret (10 Feb 2014)

cursed for all eternity to prematurely disappoint  those 70 virgins?


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## George Wallace (10 Feb 2014)

Question.

Did they PASS or FAIL their PO Check?     :-\


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## medicineman (11 Feb 2014)

George Wallace said:
			
		

> Question.
> 
> Did they PASS or FAIL their PO Check?     :-\



I'd have to say they FAILED the PO by virtue of not making it past the EO, though through no fault of their own...no bad students, only bad teachers and all that.


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## George Wallace (1 Mar 2014)

Looking into the crystal ball, I think we have a future winner:


LINK

Reproduced under the Fair Dealings provisions of the Copyright Act.


> Human Barbie wants to live on light and air alone
> 
> 10:47 am, March 1st, 2014
> 
> ...




Photos on LINK

She may have been in contact with a former Canadian Defence Minister in the past.   ;D


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## George Wallace (13 Nov 2014)

Here is a serious contender for the Darwin Awards:

Somali pirates mistakenly attack naval vessel in the dark.


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## The Bread Guy (13 Nov 2014)

George Wallace said:
			
		

> Looking into the crystal ball, I think we have a future winner:
> 
> 
> LINK
> ...


Sounds like the old joke about the peasant who'd trained his horse/mule/donkey to live off less and less feed until he finally got him used to getting no feed at all.  The peasant was upset when the beast went and died on him at that point  ;D


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