# I could use some encouragement please



## TheraF (11 Jun 2012)

A bit of my background:
When I was 19 I really wanted to join the RCAF for search and rescue. I applied, did all the tests, passed and had a date to be sworn in. Then I found out I was pregnant and basically walked away from it all. I attended college, but did not graduate. I worked until 5 years ago.

For the past 20 years I have regretted not joining up. I always mention how close I was,  I am still fascinated with helicopters, I go to every air show, military museum or exhibit that I can.

I am now forty (female obviously), my husband and I have been together for almost 20 years, we have five children, ages 23, 20 (both gone from the nest), 13, 12 and 10.  My husband works full time at a regular job, but he isn't particularly attached to it. We have moved several times with the children for his work and he is fully supportive of me joining, as our my younger children.

Everyone else thinks I am insane; too old, too unfit and a smoker (I am not over weight, I walk tons, and I attended a ballet class once a week all last year and I would like to quite smoking). Then there are the comments "what about the kids", "what if you have to move?" "this isn't the right time" "the pay is terrible" "the housing is terrible" "the food is terrible".

Am I insane to be trying to do this?


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## Bzzliteyr (11 Jun 2012)

Only YOU can answer that question and do what YOU feel is right.

I think you know the answer.  

Come back and tell us how much fun you had on basic once you finish.


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## Spooks (11 Jun 2012)

If you really want to do it but you are thinking that it may be insane, then you are only entertaining the idea of an 'easy out'.


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## curious george (11 Jun 2012)

If you've already regretted your decision twenty years ago, imagine how you'd feel if you denied yourself the chance a second time round simply because people were projecting their own fears and biases on to you.  This issue of getting people's approval can enslave you from living a full life.  I know how hard it can be to hear those comments; I've struggled with this myself.  You're also a mom and this is a wonderful opportunity to role model for your kids that they, too, can take risks and go after their dreams.  Whether or not your dreams come true is not the point; it's about the courage, setting goals for yourself, persevering, learning things about yourself.  These are all good things to teach your kids.  And if your dreams do come true, bonus!


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## aesop081 (11 Jun 2012)

You're 40 years old.

Making a personal decision without needing the encouragement of random strangers on the internet shouldn't be a problem.

My 16 year old made that decision without asking me and i've been in the CF for almost 20 years.


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## Maxadia (11 Jun 2012)

I'm 40, NOT female, but trying to join the reserves again after a very short stint at age 17.

Go for it.


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## TheraF (11 Jun 2012)

Thank you for the replies, though I still hope to hear from at least one older-ish female.

I am not looking for excuses or ways out, I am trying to get a feel as to whether or not this dream of mine is realistic for a 40 yr. old - half-arsed fit - smoker.
And yes, a little bit of encouragement, which is always good for anyone in any new situation, IMO.
Does anyone have any opinions or thoughts on the impact on families, particularly children?
Is the housing that bad?

@RDJP gl to you as well then!


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## mariomike (11 Jun 2012)

TheraF said:
			
		

> Thank you for the replies, though I still hope to hear from at least one older-ish female.



These ( and others ) may help.

Topic: "Old"er" woman just starting out...":
http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/91066.0.html
6 pages.

"I am a 47 year old female taking steps to join CF.":
http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/87496/post-919006.html#msg919006

Topic: "Military mom set to join Army at age 41":
 http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/48198.0/nowap.html


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## TheraF (11 Jun 2012)

Great links, ty, I'll have to dig for some more!


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## Scott (11 Jun 2012)

TheraF said:
			
		

> Thank you for the replies, though I still hope to hear from at least one older-ish female.
> 
> I am not looking for excuses or ways out, I am trying to get a feel as to whether or not this dream of mine is realistic for a 40 yr. old - half-arsed fit - smoker.
> And yes, a little bit of encouragement, which is always good for anyone in any new situation, IMO.
> ...



These are all questions that have been asked - many times before. There have been many mommies who smoked and were half arsed fit. Does tat mean you can? Nope. You have to decide it for yourself.

Hard on families? There are a bazillion jobs that are, it's what you make of it.

Housing shitty? I guess that depends on your definition and whether or not you think it's worth the trade-off.

Have you seen enough cliches yet? Because I am feeling the same way as CDNAviator.

Motherhood doesn't make you special. Being 40 doesn't make you special. Nor does smoking. Doing it after being out of shape, or not even a shape at all, is not groundbreaking or cause for celebration or recording.

Bottom line: it's up to you, asking us ain't going to help.


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## dimsum (11 Jun 2012)

Much (I would say most) of your career will be in areas where you can buy/rent houses on the economy, if you so desire.  Not all CF members live in military housing.


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## TheraF (11 Jun 2012)

I never said I was special and apparently it's not such a good idea to ask for thoughts, opinions and support from those that have been there, my apologies.


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## JoBo (12 Jun 2012)

Why not join the reserves in your area? You can have the pleasure of being a member of the Canadian Forces and remain close to home without uprooting your young ones. Might be a win-win, but I'm not privy to all the details of your situation.

Good luck!


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## Good2Golf (12 Jun 2012)

The only way you're going to do it, is if you yourself choose to do it.

If you want, use Jackie Girouard as an example, and get on with it.

Good luck if you choose to commit yourself to the challenge.


Regards
G2G


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## AGD (12 Jun 2012)

TheraF said:
			
		

> Am I insane to be trying to do this?



No. Go join the CF. Not everybody can.


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## TheraF (12 Jun 2012)

Thank you all, I have completed the online application and we will be travelling next week to obtain my transcripts  :nod:


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## ttlbmg (12 Jun 2012)

Good luck to you! I hope that everything goes smoothly, and that you have "fun" (if that's what you want to call it) at your basic.


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## GAP (12 Jun 2012)

Good Luck

now, lets not let this turn into another "You go Girl ! " thread.


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## Eye In The Sky (12 Jun 2012)

Quick, simple advice.

Start getting in shape, now.  Don't go crazy and hurt yourself, start slow, increase little by little.

One of the biggest challenges you will face at BMQ is the day-after-day requirement to do PT, to march almost EVERYWHERE, to climb up and down stairs in the Mega, drill classes/periods, and to function on limited sleep/rest at times.  This just the garrison portion I am talking about, and not even touching on the field training, the ruckmarches that work their way up to 13km full marching order, the obstacle course.  Reading it doesn't sound so bad, right?  Living it when you get injured Week 1 and trying to gut thru the remaining time...not fun at all.

Going off of what you've said, you have kids so you've done the 'lack of sleep' stuff, but its different when you are going non-stop physically with this lack of sleep.  Day after day.  I know of instances where recruits showed up out of shape and injured themselves just getting their suitcase up the stairs to the 9th floor.  Thats not a joke either.  

Being in shape will also lessen the stress of this constant physical stuff.  It will help you deal with any/all stress better.  It will prevent injury or help you recover from it quicker or help you push thru when you are "hurting" but not hurt.  

There is much more to the physical side of BMQ that the PT tests.  Start prep'ing now on the PT side, start slow so you don't get injured and discouraged right off the bat.  The idea is to make it a part of your daily routine now, as it will be at BMQ without question.  You do NOT want to start getting in shape right before you leave and you do NOT...NOT...want to show up at CFLRS physically unprepared.  I would suggest that doing that, being not up to the physical stuff, is the WORST mistake you can make.  There are lots of recruits who've proven this true since the CFRCs stopped doing PT tests as part of the entrance criteria.

There is a TON of info on here about what kind of PT/trg to do, how to train to avoid injury, how/when/what to eat, you name it.  

 :2c:

Good luck.


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## TheraF (12 Jun 2012)

Ty, I was actually just reading on here re running and proper nutrition and does a snoring hubby count for the the "used to a lack of sleep"? lmao


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## estoguy (13 Jun 2012)

I'm 35 and am presently in the process, awaiting the medical OK.  The Forces had been on my mind for a long time, and I wish I had of done it sooner, but its certainly not too late.  If you really want it, go for it!  :nod:


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## bridges (13 Jun 2012)

Thera said:
			
		

> I never said I was special and apparently it's not such a good idea to ask for thoughts, opinions and support from those that have been there, my apologies.



No apologies necessary; it's perfectly appropriate to have asked the questions you asked.  We're not quite "random strangers", as one poster said - most of us have been through military training, which is the experience you were asking about.  Nor does it seem to me that you wanted to be called "special", or "celebrated", as another poster said.  Best to just disregard the unhelpful comments.  

I'm 41 now, and wouldn't want to go back & do it over again - because once is enough, and I'm currently less than fit, and also have acquired a general distaste for communal living at this age.  But the barracks experience is only temporary, and if you're motivated and able to get along with people (or at least ignore them), it will be no problem. 

Check the other threads on this topic, and IMO, Eye In The Sky's advice is excellent.  The more fit you can become before training, the less difficult everything will be.   Also, consider the reserves - but primarily for part-time work, as full-time reserve contracts are becoming more scarce.

Good luck!


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## fraserdw (13 Jun 2012)

I attended my basic officer training in the 90s with a 54 year old man who first experience of war was as refugee in 1945.  He did just fine and in fact was a stabilizing influence on the kids on the course.  You will do just fine if you want it.


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## Jarnhamar (13 Jun 2012)

One 

Two

Three

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!


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## TheraF (13 Jun 2012)

Thanks guys, I do appreciate the helpful and supportive comments!

As I said, getting transcipts next week, and my 13 yr old son is going to start running with me (bonus having alone time with him) and on the next shopping, some healthier and/or carb packed foods!


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## Eye In The Sky (13 Jun 2012)

ObedientiaZelum said:
			
		

> One
> 
> Two
> 
> ...



Did you do that using your best Richard Simmons voice??


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## Jarnhamar (13 Jun 2012)

Yup.

My gym life partner says it in an all-too-cheerful voice when he's spotting me on the bench press. 
Especially when the gym is packed.


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## Delaney1986 (13 Jun 2012)

Thera said:
			
		

> I never said I was special and apparently it's not such a good idea to ask for thoughts, opinions and support from those that have been there, my apologies.



I realize you have moved on from this but just a quick note:

Nothing written by the posters above your comment was offencive or should have caused you to bristle in any way. They were providing you with realistic and blunt answers to your questions. The military isn't a bunch of meanies or anything but directness is certainly a quality many military members have. Try to take the message they are giving you and grow some thicker skin, as you could very well experience much worse than that once enrolled. There is nothing wrong with asking for people's opinions but be prepared for a mixed bag, especially on a public forum. 

Just some friendly advice. I wish you all the luck.   ;D


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