# RMC with fiance and baby??



## KellyB (27 Mar 2013)

Hi there,

My fiancé is thinking of attending RMC for Business Admin. I am trying to decide if this is the right move for our family. We currently live in Hamilton where he works full time, making $15/hr and I work part time making $15/hour, we also own a home here and my mother watches our daughter while I'm working. Our daughter is turning 1 in a couple of weeks so will still be quite young when/if this happens. 
I understand the first year especially is incredibly demanding. Do you think the lifestyle and demands of my fiancé would still allow him to have an active part in his daughters life? What is the salary of a first year student? We could rent our home out here which would give us about $200/month after expenses. I could work but then I would need to get daycare for my daughter. Would it be possible for all 3 of us to live off of his salary and the $200/month from our rental? We wouldn't be able to live in residence so would need to rent a property off campus, would they help us out with this or would we be on our own? We already have a vehicle so he would be able to get to and from school. 
What is the rate of pay once you have completed the 4 years of school and are employed by the government?
He has yet to talk to a recruiter, has just got information from his father who works for DND. I want to educate myself on this first before I agree for him to see a recruiter. 

ANY information you could give me would be great. Thank you


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## Motard (27 Mar 2013)

for pay info -> http://www.forces.ca/en/page/payscales-131#officersregular-1

and that pretty much covers it since all your questions are about money.


As for letting him go see a recruiter, he should have gone the moment he become interested in this path. It can be a long process taking months or years and no one has to commit to anything until the final step of accepting an offer. Going to a recruiter would help with any concerns you might have, go with him if you like.


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## krimynal (27 Mar 2013)

the best answer are probably gonna be from a recruiter itself , or from someone that is at RMC right now.

First of , let me tell you that the average salary usually amounts towards 500$ a month ..... ( that is if you go to the RMC , there is a way to do ROTP in a Civil University but let's keep the RMC track )

That salary is for the student itself , living ON-campus , no child , etc. 

When I wanted to go to RMC I asked if it was possible for my girlfriend to follow me ( would be fiancé ) they told me that in my first year at St-Jean , they wouldn't allow off-campus ( some rare exception might occur ) 

I doubt you would be able to live off only his salary , but we never know ! 

I thought about RMC for a long time, finally decided to do a degree in a civil university , while going in the reserve , then switch to the regular forces after my degree , that way I could do a degree , have an apartment with my girlfriend , have a part-time job and still be able to serve in the forces. 

At the end of the day , it's a big decision


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## krimynal (27 Mar 2013)

Motard said:
			
		

> for pay info -> http://www.forces.ca/en/page/payscales-131#officersregular-1
> 
> and that pretty much covers it since all your questions are about money.
> 
> ...



That is a great advice , you could go with him to a recruiter , bring a list of questions , and that way you both will know what you are looking at , the best way to get a best picture for you both , is for both of you to go together ......


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## KellyB (27 Mar 2013)

You're right that majority of my questions are about money as I am worried that we would go and have no money for our daughter. 

His original plan after high school was to go to RMC but then he met me and we had a baby and he no longer felt it was possible. Now he is back at this line of thought so I feel this is something he is truly interested in doing.

Let me get something straight though - only your first year prep is in Saint-Jean right? Then you go to Kingston?

So based on the link you sent me he would be making $1536/month and I'm assuming income tax and CPP would be deducted from this so the take home would be about $1000/month? I would clearly need to find a job and put my daughter in daycare. In Kingston I feel it wouldn't be too difficult to find a job but what about in Saint-Jean? 

Thank you so much for your answers.


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## krimynal (27 Mar 2013)

for someone from any other place except Quebec city , you only do 1 year in st-jean ( prep year ) then you switch to kingston .... 1536$ a month , that is right , you have to withdraw food , books , etc. etc. etc. etc. .... at the end of the day , it gives you something in the range of 400 to 600$ a month , that is for someone living ON Campus , keep in mind that OFF campus residence are NOT a promise ..... you can ask , and depending on a bunch of different things , you can MAYBE , if you are LUCKY , get 1 for you and your family ....


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## George Wallace (27 Mar 2013)

Why don't you just stay in your current job and location until such time as you are married and he has finished RMC?


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## KellyB (27 Mar 2013)

I can't afford to carry the mortgage, prop. taxes, insurance, utilities, expenses on my wage alone. We spend about $3000 a month on all our expenses where we currently are and I only contribute about $1000 a month while he takes care of the rest. There is the option of moving into my parents though, but how much time would he have off? Would our daughter even know who he is after his 4 years at school? If that is our only options I honestly don't know if it is worth it.

We have the option of selling our house, that would give us about $35,000 after mortgage penalties but we worked so hard to save up a down payment to buy it in the first place that I would hate to do that, it would be starting off at square one all over again so I would really prefer to keep the house and rent it out so we're still gaining equity.

I think we really need to see a recruiter to find out our options. 

If ANYONE has been in this situation or has gone to RMC with their family I would LOVE to hear about your experience.

Thank you


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## SeaKingTacco (27 Mar 2013)

My advice is that your husband needs to speak to recruiter, who can discuss all of the options with him.

RMC is really (at it's heart) designed to take  a 18 year old kid out of high school, pay them beer money and give them a degree while they live in quarters.  I understand that the CF has moved on since I went to Military College and we cannot prevent people who are married and with children becoming cadets at RMC (that used to be the case when I joined in 1985), but at the end of the day, you will have to live as a family for 4 years on a salary that is probably minimum wage (at best), if he is even competitive and selected for RMC.  That is not something I would do, if I were in your position.

There may be other, better ways for him to join the CF and accomplish his goals.  See a recruiter.


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## Motard (27 Mar 2013)

Unless he's really stuck on the officer path NCM is another option, the pay is much better in the beginning (nearly double that of OCDT).


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## Humphrey Bogart (27 Mar 2013)

KellyB,

I am a graduate of RMC (Class of 2010), I also did prep year in 2005 so I can speak about that as well.  Firstly, when you apply to join the CF you are not applying to RMC specifically, you are applying to the Regular Officer Training Program (ROTP).  It is up to the CF to decide whether you get sent to RMC or if you are already accepted to another civilian university then you can go there.

Given your present family situation my advice to you would be to go to a civilian university through the ROTP program (Military will subsidize your education for you).  This way your husband can still work part-time during the school year and they go on his training in the summer.  I will re-iterate what SeakingTacco said about RMC being designed for 18 year olds fresh out of school.  The program is very demanding and time intensive as you don't just commit to doing school, you are basically expected to live and breath the military college lifestyle while you are there and this would be very hard for someone with a family to accomplish IMO.

That being said, while the OCdt salary is very low their are allowances for people with families etc... that goto the College.  I know for a fact that if you are an OCdt and have a child you get something like $800 extra a month to help you get by.  

My recommendation would be for your husband to investigate what trade he wants to do in the military.  Whether you go to civi university or RMC does not matter as once you finish training and enter your actual occupational field the fact you went to civi u or RMC is pretty much irrelevant.  On top of this your husband needs to think long and hard about this because he will owe time after he finishes and 13 years of your life (4 or 5 in school followed by 8 in the forces) can be a very long time.  Once he determines what trade he wants speak with a recruiter, their are advantages & disadvantages of having an RMC degree but at the end of the day it doesn't really matter.


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## Loachman (27 Mar 2013)

The standard advice is "Talk to a Recruiter" (already given), and "Read through older threads and use the Search Function". That should answer a lot of questions before you even think of them.

Some serious financial planning is also in order.

Yes, his disposable income will be small for the first four years, but it will increase dramatically following that. You can revisit the pay scale to see where this can lead.

You could combine some of your possible courses of action and live with your parents while renting your house out, at least initially, thus earning some money, reducing costs, and preserving your down-payment.

He will miss a fair amount of time with you and your daughter, but there are going to be lengthy absences during his career as well. That is part of our life-style. Everything is a compromise: while there are significant sacrifices to be made, they are balanced by significant rewards.

Another option is civilian university (RoyalDrew beat me to it).


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## PMedMoe (27 Mar 2013)

RoyalDrew said:
			
		

> I know for a fact that if you are an OCdt and have a child you get something like $800 extra a month to help you get by.



[off topic] Seriously? [/on topic]


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## MJP (27 Mar 2013)

RoyalDrew said:
			
		

> That being said, while the OCdt salary is very low their are allowances for people with families etc... that goto the College.  I know for a fact that if you are an OCdt and have a child you get something like $800 extra a month to help you get by.



Can you drop a ref for that?  I can't think of one allowance off the top of my head that the CF gives to someone just because they have kids and might be economically disadvantaged.  

The only thing that I have observed for RMC folks with a wife and/or kids is the ability to live out (a la PMQ or on the economy)


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## dapaterson (27 Mar 2013)

I suspect the "extra" was the difference between what a single member was paying, and the fact that married members were not paying R&Q, plus were receiving Separation Expense.  With the recent policy changes, marreid members would contineu to not pay accomodation, but would no longer receive Separation Expense, and would now be paying for rations.


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## KellyB (27 Mar 2013)

Do ALL recruits have to do the year in Saint-Jean? And then is it 3 or 4 years in Kingston?

I know there are other options with a higher pay but he is intent on getting a degree in the process. You have all been very helpful!


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## Humphrey Bogart (27 Mar 2013)

MJP said:
			
		

> Can you drop a ref for that?  I can't think of one allowance off the top of my head that the CF gives to someone just because they have kids and might be economically disadvantaged.
> 
> The only thing that I have observed for RMC folks with a wife and/or kids is the ability to live out (a la PMQ or on the economy)



Well considering an RMC Cadet salary is $1400 month before taxes and deductions its pretty much impossible to raise a kid and look after yourself on that without incurring significant amount of debt and financial hardship.  I can't drop a ref and I'm not a clerk so i would need to do some research but my roommate in my second year had a child and I believe he received extra pay because of it.  Let me do some research and get back to you as maybe I am just talking out my ass right now.

Back on topic, I still wouldn't recommend RMC to anyone who has a family.  ROTP Civvy side is a much better route IMO because you can still work and make some cash on top of your OCdt salary you are paid.  KellyB if you or your husband want to talk to someone about what the school is like and what you can expect when you get there PM me and I would be more then happy to answer any questions about life at the school.  I also have only been out of the institution for about three years so I am still pretty current on whats going on around there.


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## jwtg (27 Mar 2013)

KellyB said:
			
		

> Do ALL recruits have to do the year in Saint-Jean? And then is it 3 or 4 years in Kingston?
> 
> I know there are other options with a higher pay but he is intent on getting a degree in the process. You have all been very helpful!



I'm at RMC and have friends who are in similar situations to yours, so my information is pretty current.  PM me for more specifics if you'd like, but here's the lowdown:

Some recruits will be sent to CMR St. Jean for first year; others (usually from Quebec) will be sent to CMR St. Jean for 'prep' year, and then will stay at CMR for 'senior' year, which is the equivalent of RMC 1st year.  Many recruits will go to RMC for their first year.  If your fiance is not from Quebec, then his offer (if he succeeds in selection) would be for Civ U, CMR, or RMC.  It's usually a take it or leave it kind of offer, with no flexibility; however, your circumstances might allow you to request ROTP Civ U exclusively- talk that over with a recruiter.  In my opinion, as an RMC cadet, ROTP Civ U is the far, far, better option for an OCdt with a child and fiance/spouse.



			
				dapaterson said:
			
		

> I suspect the "extra" was the difference between what a single member was paying, and the fact that married members were not paying R&Q, plus were receiving Separation Expense.  With the recent policy changes, marreid members would contineu to not pay accomodation, but would no longer receive Separation Expense, and would now be paying for rations.


This is entirely accurate.  There is no pay bonus or extra allowances for being married or having children while at RMC; however, those few live off campus do not pay R&Q so they receive the full OCdt pay (minus deductions/taxes/etc.) so it seems like they make more than the guys paying R&Q, except for most of them, rent + groceries > R&Q, so most of the live-offs actually make less than the live-ons.

RMC has recently adopted a position of maintaining a live-in program exclusively; that means that CFRC's are supposed to brief applicants on the fact that they *will not* be permitted to live-off campus.  The best advice I can offer is to not expect that your fiance will be permitted to live off campus if he attends RMC; there is *no guarantee* of that, and, from my view, it is highly unlikely.  (Could be worse- at USAFA and Westpoint, and probably Annapolis, but I haven't had the chance to ask anyone from there, I've been told you cannot have any dependents in order to enroll.)

Bear in mind that 1st years and 2nd years are also limited to something like 12 after duty passes (basically permission to go into town on weeknights) per month, so even if you follow him to Kingston and he just chooses to spend all his evenings/nights at your place to simulate living together, there is no guarantee he'll be able to do that.  Also, you'd have to pay rent for where you live, and he'd have to pay R&Q at RMC.

It's rumored, and seems to be the case, that next year, first years will not be allowed to have cars at RMC.  That would make commuting very difficult.

If he goes to RMC, he can expect to have most weekends off (after FYOP, of course) but there will be some duty/training weekends, and the occasional tasking that he will be required to stay at RMC for.

I strongly recommend that you try hard for ROTP at a civilian university.  This would mean that he makes ~1500$/month (before deductions) and has his tuition, books and supplies subsidized at a civi university of his choice.  He would do training in the summers, but other than that, live a mostly normal student life.

The alternative is for you to stay in one place while he goes off to RMC.  This would mean basically 4 years of separation (except for the odd weekend, as well as Christmas, reading week, Easter, and a couple weeks of summer leave) and could be hard on your family, but that's for you to evaluate.

Do not assume that he can come to RMC and you can both live together somewhere off campus; that is simply not the reality at RMC these days.  Unless there are shocking changes made between now and when he applies, I don't foresee the situation being any different any time soon.  The vast majority, if not all, incoming OCdts will have to live in shacks like the rest of us at RMC.

Also, apologize if I had a Freudian slip anywhere here and called your fiance your husband.


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## jwtg (27 Mar 2013)

RoyalDrew said:
			
		

> Well considering an RMC Cadet salary is $1400 month before taxes and deductions its pretty much impossible to raise a kid and look after yourself on that without incurring significant amount of debt and financial hardship.  I can't drop a ref and I'm not a clerk so i would need to do some research but my roommate in my second year had a child and I believe he received extra pay because of it.  Let me do some research and get back to you as maybe I am just talking out my *** right now.


The only people who get paid more are those with prior experience (reserve or reg) who are in a different pay category. The only other way people have been receiving extra pay is either by having R&Q waived for being married, and separation expense, if separated from spouses.  
Not sure what the implications of the recent changes to SE/IR policy are.


> Back on topic, I still wouldn't recommend RMC to anyone who has a family.  ROTP Civvy side is a much better route IMO because you can still work and make some cash on top of your OCdt salary you are paid.  KellyB if you or your husband want to talk to someone about what the school is like and what you can expect when you get there PM me and I would be more then happy to answer any questions about life at the school.  I also have only been out of the institution for about three years so I am still pretty current on whats going on around there.



Couldn't agree more with your assessment.


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## KellyB (27 Mar 2013)

jwtg said:
			
		

> I'm at RMC and have friends who are in similar situations to yours, so my information is pretty current.  PM me for more specifics if you'd like, but here's the lowdown:
> 
> Some recruits will be sent to CMR St. Jean for first year; others (usually from Quebec) will be sent to CMR St. Jean for 'prep' year, and then will stay at CMR for 'senior' year, which is the equivalent of RMC 1st year.  Many recruits will go to RMC for their first year.  If your fiance is not from Quebec, then his offer (if he succeeds in selection) would be for Civ U, CMR, or RMC.  It's usually a take it or leave it kind of offer, with no flexibility; however, your circumstances might allow you to request ROTP Civ U exclusively- talk that over with a recruiter.  In my opinion, as an RMC cadet, ROTP Civ U is the far, far, better option for an OCdt with a child and fiance/spouse.
> This is entirely accurate.  There is no pay bonus or extra allowances for being married or having children while at RMC; however, those few live off campus do not pay R&Q so they receive the full OCdt pay (minus deductions/taxes/etc.) so it seems like they make more than the guys paying R&Q, except for most of them, rent + groceries > R&Q, so most of the live-offs actually make less than the live-ons.
> ...



Thank you sooo much, your post was incredibly helpful and I enjoyed your desiderata quote in your signature 

How do you go about getting into a CivUniversity? My (limited) understanding is you basically can't unless you're already attending a university or RMC doesn't offer your program. Is this correct?


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## krimynal (27 Mar 2013)

usually you sign up for ROTP , and they give you an offer ( civi-u , RMC , CMR ) .... then you decide , you might be able to speak with a recruiter and try to push more on the Civi-u .... but first and foremost , you have to be in the ROTP program


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## jwtg (27 Mar 2013)

When you apply (at least, as of a couple of years ago), you list your preferred institutions to study at.  Year to year, people aren't quite sure why their offers are for Civ U, RMC, or CMR except that often, students who are nearer degree completion will stay on at their school of choice, or those who *require* degree programs which aren't offered at RMC will go to a school which offers it (nursing, for example).

If your fiance wants to be a nursing officer, than he could *only* go to Civ U- RMC isn't even an option!

There's no harm in applying and asking for Civ U and explaining the family implications.  If/when he receives an offer, he can decide where to go from there.  If it's for Civ U, then your in the clear.  If its for RMC, then you can request to switch it over for a Civ U, but who knows what the odds are?

There's no harm in trying.  

Good luck with whatever path you take; I hope everything works out for you and your family.

EDIT to add: It goes without saying that a Civ U offer would be conditional on the applicant being accepted to a Civ U, which they would apply for independent of the CF application process.


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## KellyB (27 Mar 2013)

At this point he won't be able to apply until the fall and wouldn't be able to attend until next summer. Do you think it would be beneficial (in getting accepted into the ROTP program) for him to join the reserves? 
Also would they look at his high school grades? He is currently doing a college program but it is a certificate program so I am wondering if they will look at his college grades or high school grades?


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## DAA (27 Mar 2013)

KellyB said:
			
		

> At this point he won't be able to apply until the fall and wouldn't be able to attend until next summer.



Yup, there is always a "catch" to questions like this......    :facepalm:

PS - they will look at "all" the gradings provided


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## SeR (27 Mar 2013)

DAA said:
			
		

> Yup, there is always a "catch" to questions like this......    :facepalm:



More of an obvious statement as opposed to a catch, considering it's almost April and he's just "thinking" about attending.


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## DAA (27 Mar 2013)

SeR said:
			
		

> More of an obvious statement as opposed to a catch, considering it's almost April and he's just "thinking" about attending.



Rats, I missed that point entirely.....  I guess I am just so accustomed to instances where suddenly the "shoe" drops....


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## KellyB (27 Mar 2013)

Yes completely just thinking about it at this point as he has missed the January cutoff for applications.

We have been talking it over tonight and I think he is going to the recruiters on Friday as he now really would like to apply for a full time reserves position as the starting salary is just a little more than he's making now. Then he can find out if the military is for him and he could apply for RMC at a later time. My understanding is you get paid more during RMC this way - anyone know if this is true? Just trying to explore ALL options!


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## Eye In The Sky (27 Mar 2013)

Sorry but you don't apply for a full time reserves position.  He wouldn't be qualified to do anything and, to be honest, full time reserve work is becoming hard to come by, positions being cut, etc.

But definitely go see the CFRC staff.  Good luck!


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## brihard (27 Mar 2013)

KellyB said:
			
		

> Yes completely just thinking about it at this point as he has missed the January cutoff for applications.
> 
> We have been talking it over tonight and I think he is going to the recruiters on Friday as he now really would like to apply for a full time reserves position as the starting salary is just a little more than he's making now. Then he can find out if the military is for him and he could apply for RMC at a later time. My understanding is you get paid more during RMC this way - anyone know if this is true? Just trying to explore ALL options!



No dice. I am a full time reservist, and it took years before I had enough to offer to be of any use full time- and my job disappears in a few more days anyway. A new reservist will typically almost never get hired on full time duties, with rare exceptions. DO NOT plan your life around income form the reserves, as it's always very tenuous at best.


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## DAA (27 Mar 2013)

KellyB said:
			
		

> Yes completely just thinking about it at this point as he has missed the January cutoff for applications.



There is no "cutoff".  Where did you hear that there was a cutoff?


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## brihard (27 Mar 2013)

DAA said:
			
		

> There is no "cutoff".  Where did you hear that there was a cutoff?



How is there no cutoff for commencement in the 2013/14 academic year? I can't see how there wouldn't be.


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## KellyB (27 Mar 2013)

So you can't join the forces for a couple years and then go the ROTP/RMC route? If I go to the forces.ca website and  browse jobs theres Airborne Electronic Sensor Operator and there is a star next to it saying it is in demand. All you need is high school. Would that not be a possibility at all? The starting pay is $33,000/year.


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## Eye In The Sky (27 Mar 2013)

For the best answer, CFRCs would have the most accurate info.  Not much of a help right now, but AES Op is a fairly competitive trade and the trade is relatively healthy.  There may be some positions for direct entry opening up in April but I am not certain.  CFRCs would know.

Also, he would be 'away' for BMQ and the training to Wings in Winnipeg, and some other required, but shorter, courses.  You could count on 1 - 1.5 years to get to the point he was posted and you could go with him.

Great trade though!!!!!   ;D


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## Melbatoast (27 Mar 2013)

KellyB said:
			
		

> So you can't join the forces for a couple years and then go the ROTP/RMC route?



Yes it's possible but it's very unlikely and certainly will take longer than a couple of years. If you think ROTP is competitive, in-service commissioning is more so. It takes 3-4 years before even becoming eligible to apply, after which you are up against people with more years of service and experience all competing for very, very few slots (low single digits per occupation). The extremely slim likelihood of this happening is a terrible reason to join as an NCM.

It took me three applications and almost 9 years of service to be successful.


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## SentryMAn (28 Mar 2013)

As the way I looked at joining the reserves, it's a supplement to your income.  The Airforce does do things slightly different as you can work a maximum 14 days Class A.  This would mean that he is paid up to 14 days at about 85% of the regular force pay scale(which is all on forces.ca).  The days may not be his choice and he may not have the option of working all 14, but there would be a minimum of 5.  There were no options for Class B(full time here) nor class A(deployed) when I was with my unit and they were few and far between as it was for skilled trades. This is my experience from 2009, your experience may vary.

My decision to join RegF was not a simple task, I will be making less for the first 2-3 years but then the experience and wage increases substantially over what my current career would allow for.

There are pros and cons to every career choice and weighing the good and the bad in an objective way will lead to the best reasonable outcome.  It my case I actually applied before telling my wife, but she wasn't surprised when I told her I had.  Its been something I've wanted since I was in High school and University.  

It will be hard on you, and your family unit.  Don't think it won't be or that you are stronger then those serving now.  

I'll ask you this question and it's rhetorical so no need to answer just food for thought:

Do you think that if you said "no" to you fiance about him wanting to join the CF he would over a bit of time start to resent that decision?

Just food for thought.


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## Loachman (28 Mar 2013)

KellyB said:
			
		

> If I go to the forces.ca website and  browse jobs theres Airborne Electronic Sensor Operator and there is a star next to it saying it is in demand.



Yes, for Regular Force applicants. Your previous post mentioned "full time reserves position", to which people correctly replied that these required useful experience and were hard to get, and the number of such positions have been drastically cut. I do not know if there are any Reserve AESOPs, but I rather doubt that that occupation is open to off-the-street Reserve applicants.



			
				KellyB said:
			
		

> All you need is high school.



Minimum requirements for enrollment do not equal "all you need". Most occupations are very competitive. Those with the minimum requirements get pushed aside by those with more education or other attractive attributes pertinent to their desired occupation (like useful experience or ability in an in-demand language - not looks, etcetera).


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## Eye In The Sky (28 Mar 2013)

Loachman said:
			
		

> I do not know if there are any Reserve AESOPs, but I rather doubt that that occupation is open to off-the-street Reserve applicants.



There are some, not many, but they are ex-Reg Force who went to the ARAF world.  There are some CT/OT folks from the PRes world in the trade now from recent years when it opened up to CFRC/CT applicants.  I've no idea if they are still taking Direct Entry (CFRC) applicants, CTs or just Reg Force remusters this FY (can't seem to find the FY 13/14 SIP and not sure the one on the Basic Prod Doc's site is current, the #s look the exact same as for last year).


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## KellyB (29 Mar 2013)

After all my researched I've decided to let him go ahead with his decision. 

What are his other options? 

If he sat down with a recruiter and said he wanted to join the forces what would then happen? I know he has to apply and go through testing but how long would all of that take? How long until he went for basic training? What kind of salary would he start at? And does he get paid during training? 
Would this route ever take him to the level that going the ROTP route would get him to and how much slower if so?


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## KellyB (29 Mar 2013)

SeaKingTacco said:
			
		

> There may be other, better ways for him to join the CF and accomplish his goals.  See a recruiter.



What would these other ways be?


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## MikeL (29 Mar 2013)

KellyB said:
			
		

> If he sat down with a recruiter and said he wanted to join the forces what would then happen? I know he has to apply and go through testing but how long would all of that take? How long until he went for basic training? What kind of salary would he start at? And does he get paid during training?
> Would this route ever take him to the level that going the ROTP route would get him to and how much slower if so?



Your boyfriend needs to start doing some research on his own;  if he is serious about this he should pick up the phone and/or visit the CFRC and Reserve unit(s) he is interested in.  I'm pretty sure you can find all of the answers on the forces.gc.ca website,  RMC website and the various Reserve unit websites.  As well as talking to the recruiters.

There is no standard time frame for application to enrollment, to BMQ/BMOQ.  It varies.

Salary of Private(Recruit) and Officer Cadet,  Reserve and Regular Force, etc can be found here
http://www.forces.ca/en/page/payscales-131 
(easily found through google search or visiting the recruiting website)

Yes,  you are paid during training, etc  As a Reservist you are paid every time you show up for a parade night, course, etc.  Regular Force you start getting paid on the day you fly out for training - usually there is a period of LWOP after enrolling until you leave for training.  Once you start getting paid as a Regular Force member you are paid until the end of your retirement leave on release, ie you are paid every day until you are out of the Military,  including weekends and leave.


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## kratz (29 Mar 2013)

KellyB said:
			
		

> After all my researched I've decided to let him go ahead with his decision.
> 
> What are his other options?
> 
> ...



This site has many discussions that answer many of the questions you and he are asking. Search.
Since this site is not an official website the answers you find here might be wrong.
While there are many current members posting on the site, we are not here to spoon feed answers to people who are not helping themself by reading the current information online (on or off this site).

Hopfully you are not holding his hand through his BMQ. 
Helicopter parenting / spousing needs to end with small steps.


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## Eye In The Sky (29 Mar 2013)

KellyB said:
			
		

> After all my researched I've decided to let him go ahead with his decision.



Sorry but I have to say something to this.

You might want to consider that as an adult he doesn't need your approval.  Just a thought.

I know what I'd be thinking and saying if someone said to me "I've decided to let you proceed".   

Lastly HE is the one that will be joining, so HE is the one that needs to go to the CFRC and speak with recruiters.

 :2c:


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## jwtg (29 Mar 2013)

Eye In The Sky said:
			
		

> Sorry but I have to say something to this.
> 
> You might want to consider that as an adult he doesn't need your approval.  Just a thought.
> 
> ...



To offer an alternative viewpoint...

A CWO I spoke with once told me that his civilian wife was more CF than he was. When you join, your family joins too; seems to me like the OP isn't offending her fiancé's adulthood, but is an involved family member taking part in a decision which affects her and her child.

 :2c:


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## Eye In The Sky (29 Mar 2013)

KellyB said:
			
		

> After all my researched I've decided to let him go ahead with his decision.



Her words, not mine.  

I understand the military family concept.  I grew up in one.  I'm in one now, as the 'CF mbr'.


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## KellyB (30 Mar 2013)

Eye In The Sky said:
			
		

> Sorry but I have to say something to this.
> 
> You might want to consider that as an adult he doesn't need your approval.  Just a thought.
> 
> ...



This is a huge decision. He is asking me to basically leave the life we had planned to pursue something else, in different parts of the country. I will have to leave my job and we have worked for the last 2 years to save up for a house and moved in a month ago today but this decision will probably mean I will be moving back in with my parents, its like one step forward and then 3 steps back. I understand that it will help us make several steps forward again in the future but still not a decision you make overnight and when you're in a committed relationship, especially with a child, you are a team, thus you make decisions together. He can't just decide and take off, there is serious planning involved. He has told me a lot of facts but I wanted to do my own research as well. I have done a lot of looking around off this site but its hard to find the exact answer you're looking for so forgive me if I seem naive or am asking the same questions that have already been asked. 
He has booked his morning off work on Tuesday so will be talking to a recruiter then. I'm sure he'll come out with a lot more answers.


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## Scott (30 Mar 2013)

So you've stated that this is something he is really interested in doing - then why not get him in the process now? A quick search will reveal it can, possibly, take some time. Either way, he's not going to Kingston tomorrow, you have time to talk amongst yourselves, talk to family, weigh the options, create a contingency plan. Life happens in between.

Personally, and maybe I have you wrong, it appears that short term pain for long term gain is not something you're very keenly aware of. I gather, based on your posts, that you guys are in your early 20s. Like shitloads of life ahead of you. Doing something now to get ahead when you're in your 50s, and your daughter might be needing a hand up, is only going to benefit you.

To the two statements I saw that made me cringe:



			
				KellyB said:
			
		

> I want to educate myself on this first before I agree for him to see a recruiter.





			
				KellyB said:
			
		

> After all my researched I've decided to let him go ahead with his decision.



If I ever caught wind of my wife saying things like this1 we would have a serious tete a tete. Your points about you guys being a team are duly noted, but you need to remember that you aren't the only one on your team, and your team should not have a Captain. Yeah, you should have reality based discussions, bu the way you come off is like a control freak. I am willing to grant that it might be a tone via type thing but you appear to have doubled down on it.

A buddy of mine went through something very similar only he found NO support from his partner. He ended up making the very difficult decision to bail on the relationship and went through loads of shit for that because of their posessions, finances, and child. Ten years on he has told me it was the best decision he ever could have made and that his young fellow got past it - and they probably have a better life now because of the decision he made then. I remember the day he left her very well (he ended up crashing on my couch after all), he told me, over a few beers, that he left it because she had told him *she would not allow him...*2. Food for thought.

1She wouldn't I do not think ever utter anything remotely like this, which is one of the very many reasons I fell in love with her. Unconditional support.

2Yeah, I get that you *are* allowing it - my point is the use of the terms.


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## Scott (30 Mar 2013)

KellyB said:
			
		

> He can't just decide and take off, there is serious planning involved.



I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but he most certainly CAN just decide to take off. It's a good thing that he isn't, indeed, but please do me, and at least EITS, a favour and shitcan this type of talk.


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## Jarnhamar (30 Mar 2013)

Kelly maybe YOU should go talk to the recruiter and tell your husband what you decided he will do.


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## KellyB (30 Mar 2013)

Trust me, you have me completely wrong. I realize he COULD just get up and go but would prefer if I came with him. So maybe I worded that wrong - I am on here deciding if this life will be good for our family. Yes we are in our early 20's and I completely realize it will make a huge difference for him career wise for when he is older. But I do have a career, one I am very fond of. I could potentially remake it somewhere else but I'm from here and so have had years to make up a client base through the people I know. You may not have even thought about that aspect, but I hope to have support from him just as much as he gets from me. In this instance me supporting him means not supporting myself in my career. I have come to the conclusion I am willing to give up a lot right now - my family and friends close by, career, and house, to support him so why does it make me such a bad person to have questions before coming to this conclusion. The minute I knew he was serious about this I came online to do MY research. He knows what he knows and probably won't take the time to look online because he isn't that type of person. He will go into the recruiters and come out with all the knowledge he needs to make his decision. I'm a little more impatient, not a control freak by any means though. In fact, I'm actually incredibly excited for him now after the initial shock


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## jeffb (30 Mar 2013)

KellyB, don't worry about what others think. Good for you for taking an active role in this family decision. Being in the CAF was my dream that my wife accompanied me on. She's had to make the sacrifices and done so without a complaint. Of course there are the benefits of never having to worry about me loosing my job, good benefits, a community of great people, etc. but I know that quitting her job and essentially agreeing to shoehorn her life choices around the needs of the CAF, was not, and is not, easy for her. 

Keep asking questions. As others have pointed out, your approval is not necessary but I am sure it certainly helps. Just because some people may not see it that way does not mean that your fiance doesn't want your approval. 

Best of luck!


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## Scott (30 Mar 2013)

Good enough, thanks for clarifying.

While I am long detached from the CF, I do work away half of the time and thus leave everything at home to my wife. She runs the house, full stop, and I help when I am there to. But it's always 100% a team effort and still has times where we must sacrifice, collectively or individually. Trust me, I understand how important support going both ways is - I live it every day.


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