# Home Sick



## Sivad (16 Aug 2005)

Regular Force, Infantry, Army.  After your BMQ, SQ, BIQ how long before you have to serve on a mission?  my basic question really is after 2 months of training away from your family, (wife and kids) then how much home time do you get to spend with them before you get your first orders to serve on a mission and how long can a mission be, i have heard there a minimun of 6 months?

I have been sworn into the Reserves but the more stuff I hear and the more video I see the more i want to go to Reg Force but I'm soo close to my wife and kids that I'm afraid to be away from them for an entire year.  I feel I would miss so much of them growing up as they are still pretty young. 6ys, 2ys, 4 months.  Is Reg force THAT hard on your family?

Thank you.


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## paracowboy (16 Aug 2005)

Sivad said:
			
		

> Regular Force, Infantry, Army.   After your BMQ, SQ, BIQ how long before you have to serve on a mission?


we have some young fellows here in 3VP that have signed their second engagement, and have yet to see a tour. On my tour to Kabul, we had young fellows with less than 6 months in the Army. It varies.



> how long can a mission be, i have heard there a minimun of 6 months?


a mission *can* be as long as the nation needs you to be in theatre. Years, if required. But, most are approximately 6 months or less.


> I feel I would miss so much of them growing up as they are still pretty young.


  yup, you would miss a lot. But, no other job occupation calling gives you as much vaction time as the Army. *Paid* vacation time. And what's more important, time spent, or *quality* time spent? It's all relative. 

*Is Reg force THAT hard on your family?*yes. It can be. But it has compensations, too. I've seen divorces, and I've seen marriages grow stronger. Depends on the individuals involved, like everything.

And, this time, I'm not trying to mess with you. The answers are cryptic because that's the nature of the questions. I can't tell you it's all roses, or it's all a shower of shyte. It's Life. If your relationship is strong, and your spouse is strong, it can be a wonderful life. If either of you isn't as strong as you think you are, it can fall apart like a house of cards.

Luck.


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## P-Free (16 Aug 2005)

Sivad said:
			
		

> Is Reg force THAT hard on your family?



Yes, you miss birthdays, you miss high school graduations, you might go away for 6 months and when you come back your kids might not even recognize you. And I know this from personal experience.


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## claybot (16 Aug 2005)

By the time I met my wife I had done two years in Germany and one tour of Cyprus. Got engaged did my second tour of Cyprus. Ten days after my first son was born I was on a plane to Croatia 1993. While on Roto 7 in Bosnia 2000/2001 my youngest son was diagnosed with Autism very hard on my wife but it was my last tour.

Lots of money to be made on tour but stressful at home. If you are unable to keep yourself busy on tour it will drive you up the wall 12-16 hour days make everything go by faster.


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## Sivad (17 Aug 2005)

Thanks Guys/Gals now my next question(s) are:
1. now when a mission comes available do you have the option of going or not? (I really would love to serve on a mission just not right out of BIQ)
2. how much time do you actually get off after you do a tour?
3. I'm not sure if anyone can answer this one but if I do decide to go Reg Force I realize that it could take up to a year again for me to get the call,  Now once I get that call what options do I have?  I own my own business and will need time to arrange someone to take my place or sell it.  I would be afraid to sell it too early and not get in.  hope you understand.

Thanks.


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## paracowboy (17 Aug 2005)

Sivad said:
			
		

> Thanks Guys/Gals now my next question(s) are:
> 1. now when a mission comes available do you have the option of going or not? (I really would love to serve on a mission just not right out of BIQ)


oh, you have the option, all right. But, unless you have an incredibly valid reason for not going, (eg: imminent birth of a child) things will not be good for you, should you attempt to weasel out. And that* is * how it will be seen: as a sudden attack of spinelessness.



> 2. how much time do you actually get off after you do a tour?


generally speaking, you get a couple/three weeks before deployment, and four/five after. You often get a couple/three weeks during the mission, as well.


> 3. I'm not sure if anyone can answer this one but if I do decide to go Reg Force I realize that it could take up to a year again for me to get the call,  Now once I get that call what options do I have?


  I would pm kincanucks specifically about this, if I were you. Get the straight poop. 
If anyone doesn't have specific facts, I'd suggest they not address this question, as it could cause him to make a serious mistake and jeapardize his family's income.


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## FITSUMO (17 Aug 2005)

"Quote
2. how much time do you actually get off after you do a tour?
generally speaking, you get a couple/three weeks before deployment, and four/five after. You often get a couple/three weeks during the mission, as well."


Am I reading this right, 2 weeks off before and 4-5 WEEKS after( generally speaking of course), does this count as your vacation...............If I am reading this right then let me pass on some insight to the younger ones out there, in the civvie street you will never get this kind of time off.

Also, I work in Research and development in the civvie street( for now), and even here you see alot of divorce and strain on families, the days can be long and hard, so keep in mind the grass is not always greener on the other side.   Family bonds get tested all the time, if it is ment to work out it will.


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## paracowboy (17 Aug 2005)

FITSUMO said:
			
		

> Am I reading this right, 2 weeks off before and 4-5 WEEKS after( generally speaking of course), does this count as your vacation...............If I am reading this right then let me pass on some insight to the younger ones out there, in the civvie street you will never get this kind of time off.


remember, this is all generalities, but yes - usually a couple weeks before a tour, 2-3 weeks during the tour, 3-5 weeks after a tour. It varies a bit from deployment to deployment, of course, as well as from unit to unit. 

Of course, theoretically, you can be deployed at any time with no Leave or preparation, no R&R, and no post-deployment Leave. I've yet to see it happen, but the possiblity is there.


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## FITSUMO (18 Aug 2005)

I want in now....I mean NOW...NOW.........have to wait until the sept 5 selection board........thanks for the answer Paracowboy.


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## visitor (18 Aug 2005)

They are right, if you work a   low paying job you won't get much vacation, but it you own your own business, it is entirely different. If your business is successful and if you have managers or other people you can leave in charge,   your time off can be limitless.   The business owners I know regularly take a month off 3-4   times per year and they aren't spending their time recuperating. And their work time is their own to schedule. If they want time off to see their kid's recital, they do it.


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## FITSUMO (18 Aug 2005)

I work at a high paying job, and I still get crap time off, and work 12-18 hr days.  But yeah people that own their own business, once it is successful can write their ticket, but it takes a long time to get to that point.

respect
FITSUMO


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## x-grunt (18 Aug 2005)

On an off topic note:



			
				visitor said:
			
		

> If your business is successful and if you have managers or other people you can leave in charge,  your time off can be limitless.  The business owners I know regularly take a month off 3-4  times per year and they aren't spending their time recuperating. And their work time is their own to schedule. If they want time off to see their kid's recital, they do it.



All it takes is years of 6-7 day weeks, and 12-16 hour days, and a huge amount of personal financial risk. No mandated vacations or holidays for business owners.
Trust me, anyone who has a successful, serious business is working a hell of a lot harder than you think. Once they get to the unlikely point they are taking 3 or 4 months a year off, as you suggest, they've darned well earned it.

Back on topic:
The time off in the CF is good, but it has a price: you must be willing to work incredibly hard, long hours, in extreme conditions, on demand. Seems a fair trade.


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## FITSUMO (19 Aug 2005)

"The time off in the CF is good, but it has a price: you must be willing to work incredibly hard, long hours, in extreme conditions, on demand. Seems a fair trade."

seems like a great trade," nothing good comes without some kind of fight."(BC)


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## visitor (19 Aug 2005)

On another thread, the consensus about   the young Casey Sheehan dying, was that he knew what he was getting into. When I read the recruiting threads such as this one, though,   only     the many positives of CF seem to be   explained by those who have made the committment.   It also seems that those who     drop out are thought of a   lesser men and women, so there is lots of peer pressure to stay.   My question is, at what point does the recruit learn that what is he getting into, might include, death, dismemberment, disability, post traumatic stress, loss of individuality  and, yes, significant home sickness? and does he/she have the   chance to decline without a significant   amount of ridicule?


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## NavComm (19 Aug 2005)

visitor said:
			
		

> On another thread, the consensus about   the young Casey Sheehan dying, was that he knew what he was getting into. When I read the recruiting threads such as this one, though,   only     the many positives of CF seem to be   explained by those who have made the committment.   It also seems that those who     drop out are thought of a   lesser men and women, so there is lots of peer pressure to stay.   My question is, at what point does the recruit learn that what is he getting into, might include, death, dismemberment, disability, post traumatic stress, loss of individuality   and, yes, significant home sickness? and does he/she have the   chance to decline without a significant   amount of ridicule?



All of this is taught at basic training. There are classes taught on every topic you touched on and also on suicide prevention, drug and alcohol awareness, sexually transmitted diseases, rules of engagement, and so on.

A recruit can take voluntarily release (VR) at any time during basic training in the reserves. I don't know about the reg force but I assume it's the same. Anyone who suggests recruits are not aware of what they are signing on for is misinformed.


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## oftengone (21 Aug 2005)

You know my parents were both in the military and my best friend is an officer in the reg... And my best friend went to Afghanistan and to Bosnia.  Yes it was hard but with email and writting, you get over it.  We are now closer then we were before he left, you get to know a diffent side of the world..   :-\
remember that you're serving your country and your kinds will be proud of you.  You get good advantage, and a  security for your kinds... Think about it, it's something you will love and get experience you would never get before.


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