# Time Away



## hagan_91 (23 May 2012)

If I join the army how long into basic can I go home to visit family and gf. It says after 5 weeks people can visit but does that mean I can also visit them. Also how long after basic can I move into a permanent home and bring my gf.  Last question is how much of the year percentage wise am I away from home on training during peace time.

Thanks


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## VanIslandNWThopefull (23 May 2012)

There are absolutely no guarantees as to when you can leave and visit family.  Leave passes can be easily at any time shredded, if mistakes are made.  I'm new to the forces, but I can already tell you that there are no solid answers to any of your questions.   There are way too many variables and the question has been asked many times.


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## matt4545 (23 May 2012)

Time away from home, on excercises or what have you completly depends on which unit you are with.


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## Dkeh (23 May 2012)

WENGTECH(NCM SEP) said:
			
		

> There are absolutely no guarantees as to when you can leave and visit family.  Leave passes can be easily at any time shredded, if mistakes are made.




This. Right here.


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## hagan_91 (23 May 2012)

Thanks guys thats what I was expecting, but as for after BMQ/BIQ when can I move into my permanent residence with my gf?

Thanks


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## PMedMoe (23 May 2012)

hagan_91 said:
			
		

> Thanks guys thats what I was expecting, but as for after BMQ/BIQ when can I move into my permanent residence with my gf?
> 
> Thanks



Once you've done all trades training (and any other applicable courses) and have gotten a posting to your unit.  And even then, you may have to ask permission...... If that's what you're worried about, I might suggest more research, joining the Reserves or considering another career all together.....


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## hagan_91 (23 May 2012)

I don't understand so your saying I may never get to move into a home? Why does recruiting videos say if your not married you can choose to live off base? How are people exposed to have normal lives as the videos suggest is a given. I will not join if you telling me I can only visit my gf n not live with her.


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## Dkeh (23 May 2012)

One thing you will learn about the Army (if you join) is that nothing is certain. Another things is that "situation dictates"- basically, every situation is different. What happened for one person may be vastly different than what you are offered.


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## PMedMoe (23 May 2012)

hagan_91 said:
			
		

> I don't understand so your saying I may never get to move into a home? Why does recruiting videos say if your not married you can choose to live off base? How are people exposed to have normal lives as the videos suggest is a given. I will not join if you telling me I can only visit my gf n not live with her.



No, that is *not* what I said.  I said, you need to do more research.   :

Time to change my signature line.......


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## hagan_91 (23 May 2012)

lol yeah clearly, i was always under the impression that once i finished BIQ I would move my gf to where I was based and we would start our lives, in a home of our own, and only away on training excercises, or an operational tour.


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## GAP (23 May 2012)

hagan_91 said:
			
		

> lol yeah clearly, i was always under the impression that once i finished BIQ and trades training and posted to a permenant posting I would move my gf to where I was based and we would start our lives, in a home of our own, and only away on training excercises, or an operational tour.


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## PMedMoe (23 May 2012)

All I'm saying, is if that is your biggest concern......

.......or is it hers?

So, the answer to your question was the second post.  Mods, guess you can lock this one.


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## hagan_91 (23 May 2012)

OHHHHHHHHH ok I got it now. Sorry it took me a bit to get it but yes I want to be an infantry soldier, so after BIQ it wont be long untill i start my life. Me and my gf are prepared for the first year not seeing eachother as much as we like to, but in the end its the start to our future.  Also nobodys concern just wondering on a time frame till when were together for good.

Thanks


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## CountDC (23 May 2012)

I wasn't going to but just couldn't stay away



			
				hagan_91 said:
			
		

> 1. I don't understand so your saying I may never get to move into a home? 2. Why does recruiting videos say if your not married you can choose to live off base? 3. How are people exposed to have normal lives as the videos suggest is a given. 4. I will not join if you telling me I can only visit my gf n not live with her.



1. No he didn't say that.

2. Recruiting videos say lots of things as CAN.  That is the catch though - CAN not WILL.  Talk to all the people in trades or uniforms they didnt really want but took because the recruiter said CAN.

3. The biggy - I am guessing that was an error and you meant supposed vice exposed.  The answer is they are not.  This is the military - we do not have normal lives.  We gave them up to serve our country.

4. Your choice - even if you "live" with her there is a chance at points in your career you will only be visiting her and your kids.  Search the boards for IR/SE for one example.   It is not unusual for members to be seperated from their families, sometime for years, with the occasional visits.

More research and lot of thought.  Good luck


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## PMedMoe (23 May 2012)

CountDC said:
			
		

> I wasn't going to but just couldn't stay away
> 
> 1. No *s*he didn't say that.





Thanks for clarifying what I was (sort of) trying to say......


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## CountDC (23 May 2012)

oops - sorry about that s - no excuse as I know that from some prior posts I have read.


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## hagan_91 (23 May 2012)

It wouldnt make sence to go through years just visiting my family, we are not at war, were not deployed in combat theatre anymore. Why would a infantry soldier not see his family on a regular basis.  I can see being away 75-100 days of the year on training, or if deployed then I can see why im not at home but now that were home from Afghanistan unless your in the SF your not deploying anytime soon.


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## Bomber for Life (23 May 2012)

hagan_91 said:
			
		

> If I join the army how long into basic can I go home to visit family and gf. It says after 5 weeks people can visit but does that mean I can also visit them. Also how long after basic can I move into a permanent home and bring my gf.  Last question is how much of the year percentage wise am I away from home on training during peace time.
> 
> Thanks



I hate to be this guy, and i really dont want to seem negative here. But if you are already worried about time away from home and family. Perhaps the forces is not the carreer choice for you. 

but to answer better, You could move into a permanate home with your GF, usually after BMQ 13 weeks, and if you are going Army SQ (20 Days). Then assuming you dont end up in a PAT platoon (that can last MONTHS) you will go on your trade course. Infantry is 17 weeks.

Then once you are trained, you get posted to a Battalion somewhere in Canada. Thats is when you can have your girlfirend move to be with you. 

As for simply seeing your family/ GF, you will have weekends given to you, and taken away, here and there where you can visit or have them visit. There will also be time off inbetween courses and holidays.

hope this helps


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## Spooks (23 May 2012)

To add onto the above post by Bomber, in an Inf Bn, you may have the caveat/probationary period of 'All new private to Bn need to live in the shacks for 6mon/1yr/etc'. This is to ensure that the new guys can make timings in Bn and also maintain their 'healthy eating' by being forced to eat at the mess for that time. When I got in (8yrs ago) this was the norm but if you had extenuating circumstances, you could write a memo to live off-base (have a family mainly). Once you passed your probationary period, you had to write a memo to your CoC stating where you plan to live, the approx time it took to get to work, how you will ensure you have transportation to the base, etc. Again, this is what I did in 2005 for my unit. Things are different now and appear to be a lot more relaxed. This can all change depending on who your CO is at your unit.

The CoC likely wants to ensure that you can get to work, that you won't live in the middle of nowhere a few hours away, that you can still meet your timings, you can still eat well, and are not moving away to save a few bucks. They will not want to hear of you living in a cardboard box and eating from a dumpster just so you can have the extra cash to gamble with at the casino.


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## PMedMoe (23 May 2012)

Bomber for Life said:
			
		

> Thats is when you can have your girlfirend move to be with you.



If your girlfriend is only that (not married, not common-law), the CF will not pay for her move.  It will be on your own dime.


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## liams mom (23 May 2012)

There is no guarantees that you will get To live together for your entire career. Here is one scenario-: you get sent to another base for 6 months of training. She can't join you because she likes her job and besides you can't afford the hotel and the loss of her job.

 Another scenario: you get posted and your 15 year old kid freaks.  He refuses to move. Your wife stays at your old home and you proceed to your new job without her. 

scenario 3: your mom moves into and old age home to be near you. You get posted. You decide to go to the new posting but leave your wife behind to care for your mom. 

Scenario four: six months of training followed by eight months in Afghanistan. 

Scenario five: a year long language course in Quebec. Family can visit but doesnt want to move.  Scenario six: 10 month course, army won't pay to move your family.


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## hagan_91 (23 May 2012)

I only plan for a 10 year career, alot less if I cant make SF. The time away isnt a factor it just I want to be fully prepared and ready so nothings unexpected. I want to be a cop after my career. Also to any men married here or has a gf what is your experience on this matter , and to the point where you need to live in barracks at the beginning, can anyone follow up on that?

Thanks


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## jeffb (23 May 2012)

1) The are no guarantees and every unit handles things differently. No one can tell you here how long you will be in training (hence not living with your GF) and what your future Chain of Command will say about you living in barracks or moving out on your own. 
2) You will be away from home quite extensively. Last year my wife and I spent 3 months together and I was not on "operational tour" as you put it but this year it looks like I'm going to be home for pretty much the whole year. That being said, I could get told tomorrow that I'm going away for 6 months. I know people that have been sent on a 3 month course with 2 hours notice. It's not the norm but it happens. 
3) This life is substantially harder on our families then it is on us. When we go somewhere it is usually to do something and we are surrounded by our friends. Our spouses get left behind to do the unglamorous stuff. When we come back people put medals on our chest and tell us were awesome. No one gives your spouse a medal for taking care of the everything else while you are away.  It takes a very special person to put up with the life of being a military spouse and many aren't cut out for it. 
4) All of us know people who because of my last point have been placed in a position where they had to choose their family or the military. Some chose the military and some chose their family and got out. Either way, it isn't pretty. Save yourself a lot of heartache and make sure you and your GF are properly prepared for the challenges that are going to come your way. 
5) As to your comment about getting out unless you "make SF", nothing wrong with having a goal. You have many things that you have to go through before you worry about this though and as you'll see from reading the posts around here, even if you dropped off your application today it could be YEARS before you are trade qualified and posted to a Btn. 

Best of luck.


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## hagan_91 (24 May 2012)

Maybe im better off going to uni first.


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## Pusser (24 May 2012)

Let me try an sum some of this up.  The simplest answer to your question is, it depends.  However:

1)  Will you be away from home (i.e. wife, kids, girlfriend, etc)?  Yes.  Sometimes a lot.  Sometimes, not so much.  It will likely be much more intense with much more uncertainty in the initial phases of your career.  Once you are through basic training and initial trades training, life gets more stable.  Don't count on going home to visit your girlfriend during basic training.

2)  Can you life a "normal" life?  Without getting into what constitutes a "normal" life, again the answer is for the most part, yes.  There are an awful lot of CF members who have spouses, 2.4 kids, a dog, a cat, and a mortgage and are active in their communities (e.g. minor hockey coaches, scout leaders, SPCA volunteers, etc.).

3)  Will your life be disrupted from time to time.  Again, yes.  You will be sent on courses, deployments and/or other tasks from time to time (don't think that just because the combat mission in Afghanistan is over that the CF won't be doing anything for awhile).  This will mean being away from home and leaving all domestic responsibilities to your spouse; however, with cell phones, internet (Skype), on-line banking and a host of other tools in the box nowadays, this is much easier than it used to be.

4)  How much time will you spend away from home?  This very much depends on what you end up doing and to what units you are posted, but most of us spend much more time at home than we do deployed or tasked elsewhere (although sometimes it doesn't seem that way).

5)  Is it worth it?  A lot of us seem to think so.  I know my family has seen and done more cool things because I'm in the Navy, than they would have had I been a bank manager.  Besides, being separated from the family can do good things for relationships - makes you appreciate each other all the more.


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## RDY2SRV12 (24 May 2012)

Pusser, in the Navy would you say that one spends more time away than other branches? How long are typical cruises?


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## Bruce Monkhouse (24 May 2012)

hagan_91 said:
			
		

> Maybe im better off going to uni first.



Alright, I'll be the one to say it,.....................listen up Sunshine, if you think making life altering decisions based on a "girlfriend" is the way to run your life, then you have a lot more issues than we can help you with here.

Good luck.
Bruce


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## Bzzliteyr (24 May 2012)

Bruce Monkhouse said:
			
		

> Alright, I'll be the one to say it,.....................listen up Sunshine, if you think making life altering decisions based on a "girlfriend" is the way to run your life, then you have a lot more issues than we can help you with here.
> 
> Good luck.
> Bruce



That point, right there.  I have soldiers who have gone through multiple girlfriends in a year.  In fact, I had to counsel one last night cause he got dumped by the gf he moved 45 minutes away from base to start dating... in February.  

Join the military for YOU, not for anyone else.  If leaving after 10 years is your plan then why not invest in an education (university as you said) and skills that will allow you to attain your dream of being a police officer?  You may find however that once you join the military you'll be happy and never want to leave.

Like Bruce said, please do NOT base life decisions on a gf.


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## GAP (24 May 2012)

hagan_91 said:
			
		

> Maybe im better off going to uni first.



That is probably wise. You have a fractured view of what you want, and how to achieve it. Those years will be better spent maturing.


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## dimsum (24 May 2012)

GAP said:
			
		

> That is probably wise. You have a fractured view of what you want, and how to achieve it. Those years will be better spent maturing.



I don't know about you guys, but my 4 years in uni wouldn't be described as "maturing".  Maybe in knowledge of how many drinks I can shoot before going to an exam, perhaps  

But I agree.  Going to uni is never a bad thing if it's a viable and practical option (I'll reserve my opinions on Bachelor of Basket-weaving at this point...)


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## seawolf (24 May 2012)

Maybe do both??

Apply as ROTP? - get your education and a career in the military as an officer?


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## PMedMoe (24 May 2012)

seawolf said:
			
		

> Maybe do both??
> 
> Apply as ROTP? - get your education and a career in the military as an officer?



Only if his girlfriend can move in with him.......


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## dimsum (24 May 2012)

seawolf said:
			
		

> Maybe do both??
> 
> Apply as ROTP? - get your education and a career in the military as an officer?



Or alternatively, if you're not 100% sold on the full-time lifestyle, go to uni and join a reserve unit in/near your home or school.  Best of all worlds and gives you a taste of the military.  Just be prepared that if you do decide to switch to Reg Force, it may take some time for the admin to go through.


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## Journeyman (24 May 2012)

seawolf said:
			
		

> Maybe do both??
> 
> Apply as ROTP? - get your education and a career in the military as an officer?


Seriously? The guy can't sort out his own life, and you want him to supervise and lead others??


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## seawolf (24 May 2012)

Journeyman said:
			
		

> Seriously? The guy can't sort out his own life, and you want him to supervise and lead others??



People change and mature with time. I assume you had everything figured out at 17?


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## Journeyman (24 May 2012)

seawolf said:
			
		

> People change and mature with time. I assume you had everything figured out at 17?


Enough to know that if I couldn't grip my own life, I shouldn't be contemplating organizing others. 

In time, perhaps he'll get it together, become amazing within the SOF community, and _maybe_ even still have the same girlfriend when he's decided that it's time to quit and become a cop. Perhaps.

Right at this point in time however, based solely upon his posts, suggesting that "because joining as a Pte is too problematic, so he should consider ROTP" is _probably_ not the most brilliant advice proferred here.


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## GAP (24 May 2012)

Is that where those vacant looking Lt's come from......neat, one of life's questions answered......


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## Bzzliteyr (24 May 2012)

GAP said:
			
		

> Is that where those vacant looking Lt's come from......neat, one of life's questions answered......



I will refrain from comments as I tend to get charged when dissing occifers...


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## Pusser (25 May 2012)

RDY2SRV12 said:
			
		

> Pusser, in the Navy would you say that one spends more time away than other branches? How long are typical cruises?



I really can't comment as I don't have enough experience in the other environments upon which to make a comparison.  I can say that trips (we rarely use the word "cruise") can vary from one day to six months, but it all depends on what particular role your ship is filling at the moment.   As for actual time at sea (which is different from being at home), I've never done more than about 30 days between ports.


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## hagan_91 (5 Jun 2012)

sorry unlike some of the guys on here I want a future and a family. Its not like I met her yesterday retards, I've been with her for 4 years pretty much, and I love her enough to not make her give up her goals and future so I can be happy. I can manage my own life thanks, you don't know me at all first off and if anything you sound like you get a joy out of palmala then your own wife.


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## Bruce Monkhouse (5 Jun 2012)

Wander along now child...........locked.


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