# Rapture Watch: Command and Control Centre



## HavokFour (20 May 2011)

Bunker #1392 here.

Any news from the Pacific? Sydney and Tokyo just went dark, Beijing is still staying quiet.


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## vonGarvin (20 May 2011)

New Brunwick is, as I type this, Jesus-free.*





*I note the irony in that statement, given all the fundamentalist Christians in this province ;D


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## FactorXYZ (20 May 2011)

Bunker #2786 Sydney... Huge Earthqua... zombies everywer... our position is soon to be overru... The old guy was right.......[radio static]......


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## vonGarvin (20 May 2011)

I forgot to report my bunker.  #8300, Oromocto.  NSTR....


_Edit to add by Jesus.  I had to take Technoviking home with me.  Chuck Norris was getting lonely, and he needed someone as awesome as he to spend time with_


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## HavokFour (20 May 2011)

Getting reports of strange "gate" like structures popping up in Asia. Here is a picture an amateur photographer took, it was found on his zombified corpse after police took him down.


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## Infanteer (20 May 2011)

I don't get it.  This is the second reference I've seen to this today.


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## Infanteer (20 May 2011)

NM.

http://www.familyradio.com/index2.html


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## vonGarvin (20 May 2011)

Infanteer said:
			
		

> I don't get it.  This is the second reference I've seen to this today.


:rofl:


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## brihard (20 May 2011)

Anybody in Ottawa up for some looting tomorrow?


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## kkwd (20 May 2011)

I let the dogs loose to fend for themselves and then realized I should have kept them, fresh meat on the hoof and all. I dusted off my collection of BTO 8 tracks, they make great zombie popping tunes.


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## kkwd (20 May 2011)

Technoviking said:
			
		

> I forgot to report my bunker.  #8300, Oromocto.  NSTR....
> 
> 
> _Edit to add by Jesus.  I had to take Technoviking home with me.  Chuck Norris was getting lonely, and he needed someone as awesome as he to spend time with_



This Oromocto, it sounds magical. I think everybody should head there as soon as possible. We just need a river and a large supply of weapons nearby. Does that exist there?


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## the 48th regulator (20 May 2011)

Bunker #4848.

Just had some Lobster, and Corn.  Washing it down with some Bavarian beer.  Got my Roman Gladium by my side, and ready to light up a fine stogie.  Apocalypse, bring on your Phucking zombies, hell Ya!

dileas

tess


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## HollywoodHitman (20 May 2011)

If the earth ends tomorrow, why does that family radio site have a donate now button?


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## vonGarvin (20 May 2011)

kkwd said:
			
		

> This Oromocto, it sounds magical. I think everybody should head there as soon as possible. We just need a river and a large supply of weapons nearby. Does that exist there?


TWO rivers, and plenty of weapons ;D


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## RememberanceDay (20 May 2011)

Bunker #2240 St. John's here...

An island is the worst freaking place to be. Zombies attacking everywhere, boats are full of 'em. Yay.


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## kratz (20 May 2011)

NORAD has stood up a team and is ready to track.  ;D


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## JMesh (20 May 2011)

HollywoodHitman said:
			
		

> If the earth ends tomorrow, why does that family radio site have a donate now button?


 :rofl:

Personally, I want to bet every cent I have that the rapture will not happen tomorrow. Nothing to lose  >

The way I see it, I've survived this guy's predictions of 1994 and I survived Y2K, and god knows what other predictions. I also survived Bird Flu, Swine Flu, and a host of other things that were "going to kill us all." Bring it on, and bring on 2012 too while you're at it!


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## kkwd (20 May 2011)

Technoviking said:
			
		

> TWO rivers, and plenty of weapons ;D



Great, all it needs is a dingy and dark hole in the wall bar and it would be perfect.


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## TangoTwoBravo (20 May 2011)

Since I just got an oil change and renewed my dog's licence annual yesterday I am going to have to defer rapture for another year. That and I still have some bourbon to work through.


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## OldSolduer (20 May 2011)

Tango2Bravo said:
			
		

> Since I just got an oil change and renewed my dog's licence annual yesterday I am going to have to defer rapture for another year. That and I still have some bourbon to work through.



I'm with him. I have a car to fetch tomorrow. Can we put this off for a year to eighteen months? The ZombieSlayer will be ready by then. >


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## Danjanou (20 May 2011)

Sorry late checking in. Dropped by the Legion for a beer after work. Kind of hard to tell if the dead had risen or it was just happy hour there. 8)

Wondering exactly when this Rapture, Zombie Hamster end of the World Apocalypse thingy is supposed to start? Should I skip going to get compost in the morning? Do I really need to mow the lawn? Can I forgo the trip to Canadian Tire Garden Centre?


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## c.jacob (21 May 2011)

Lawn chair facing east...Check
Sunglasses...Check
Beer...Check
Chicken wings...check

...I'm ready.


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## Nauticus (21 May 2011)

I just got my beer. Now waiting patiently while the world ends....


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## HavokFour (21 May 2011)

Bunker #1392 reporting in.

They broke through the blast doors, there are so many of them. We're at 20% strength, I don't know how much longer we can las- _[SIGNAL LOST... ATTEMPTING TO RECONNECT... 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... CONNECTION FAILED = PLEASE CONTACT THE ADMINISTRATOR]_


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## Nauticus (21 May 2011)

HavokFour said:
			
		

> Getting reports of strange "gate" like structures popping up in Asia. Here is a picture an amateur photographer took, it was found on his zombified corpse after police took him down.


I thought this Elder Scrolls reference was hilarious.

"This isn't how I pictured the Rapture!"


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## Blackadder1916 (21 May 2011)

I'm still waiting for The Rapture.  What time is it supposed to happen?  Maybe my watch is slow.  Some have said that it will be preceded by a bright light.  When I awoke this morning, it was into a shining light that blinded me . . . oh . . . I forgot to close the blinds last evening and my bed is in front of a window that faces east.  It was just a sunrise that promised a bright sunny day.

I was still waiting when the door bell rang.  When I answered, a comely young woman with a pleasant manner asked me if I "would like to know the truth" and handed me a pamphlet which posed the same question.  Perhaps they were doing door-to-door personal service instead of a group passage?

Not wanting to appear too eager (_it possibly could have been a bill collector or one of Satan's minions_) I glanced at my watch and responded to the young lady with "Aren't you a little early?"  

She seem puzzled (_maybe questions from the chosen weren't covered in the orientation_) and answered "Early? For what?".  

Of course, I had to confirm that she was my guide to the other side and asked "You are here because you want to show me the way to a better place, is that not so?".

Now her puzzlement seemed tinged with some hesitancy and she replied "Errr, yes".  

"Good" says I, "though I thought that it wouldn't happen until later in the day".  

Now she stared at me with what appeared to be genuine concern.  I continued "do I have to take anything with me or is everything provided?"

This, I think, provoked worry in her (_obviously whomever did her orientation didn't cover all contingencies_) and she asked me "what are you talking about?".

"The Rapture.  The end of times.  You're here to take me over to the other side, aren't you?"

Her mouth opened, she tried to speak but nothing came out.  She turned and walked away.

Now what do I do?  I'm still waiting.



*  The preceding happened exactly as written, honestly.  I wouldn't lie on such a momentous day as today.  Otherwise, I might make myself ineligible.  Though, if there is an afterlife, I'll probably have to do some penance for what I did to that young lady.

I'm left wondering if any of those Watch Tower people will come by again to leave me reading material.


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## the 48th regulator (21 May 2011)

Bunker #4848

42 minutes into the rapture.  BBQ lit up, and almost ready for steaks.  Mushrooms, Check, Eggplants, Check, Onions, Check, Peppers, check, Beer, a very check.

Sun is shining, and offers lots of visual for the demons to be slain by my Gladium, REGULATORS MOUNT UP!

dileas

tess


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## The Bread Guy (21 May 2011)

Bunker 6969, R+73 (Eastern):  Shared spaghetti, wine and homemade cookies with a good friend of ours, and still here.  Cloudy, but no sign of being sucked into the sky.  About to watch the Japanese art house flick which "A Fistful of Dollars" and "Last Man Standing" were based on.


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## Jaydub (21 May 2011)

the 48th regulator said:
			
		

> Bunker #4848
> 
> 42 minutes into the rapture.  BBQ lit up, and almost ready for steaks.  Mushrooms, Check, Eggplants, Check, Onions, Check, Peppers, check, Beer, a very check.



That sounds awesome, tess. I myself have Maui-Style Short Ribs and Asparagus to grill, with plenty of Gin and Lager to drink.


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## Danjanou (21 May 2011)

Well that was a bit of a let down. I just spent a couple of hours digging claymores in amongst the wife's veggie garden to protect us from the apocalypse/rapture thingy and nothing. Ah well I'll leave them there to piss off the squirrels.

The looting is still on though right?


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## kkwd (21 May 2011)

I am eating dog food on  survival crackers washed down with warm supermarket brand cola. You rich guys with your fancy food, you will get yours, next time!!!


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## Danjanou (21 May 2011)

As I remember dog food and crackers were your favourite. 8)


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## jollyjacktar (21 May 2011)

Don't know what I am more pissed at... the lack of the end of the world and the opportunities that come from it, or the fact that some of you bastards are getting sunshine.  We have had one friggin afternoon of sun since April sometime for Chrissakes!#$#$%%%


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## dapaterson (21 May 2011)

Reports, coming in from a new moon, of troopers being taken by the rapture.  Photo on link.


http://twitpic.com/50nszm


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## a_majoor (21 May 2011)

So, are we still on for 2012?  ;D ;D ;D


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## c.jacob (21 May 2011)

Accepting Donations


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## medicineman (21 May 2011)

Well, I'm still here...sounds like alot of you are too...maybe next time I guess...

MM


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## medicineman (21 May 2011)

You LIE!!!  YOU TELL TRUTH NOW!!!

That would explain why it's so quiet outside right now, since the Canucks aren't playing tonight.

MM


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## Nauticus (22 May 2011)

the 48th regulator said:
			
		

> Bunker #4848
> 
> 42 minutes into the rapture.  BBQ lit up, and *almost ready for steaks.  Mushrooms, Check, Eggplants, Check, Onions, Check, Peppers, check, Beer, a very check.*
> 
> ...


Godamn! I want to be part of your Rapture.


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## Jaydub (22 May 2011)

I love Gin.  My bunker has plenty of it.

They say that Gin's a panty remover.  If I wore panties, they'd be off right now.


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## Nauticus (22 May 2011)

Stacked said:
			
		

> You and me both.   Can we be bunker partners for 2012?


I'm in. I'll save a seat in my bunker for you.


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## Jaydub (22 May 2011)

Nauticus said:
			
		

> I'm in. I'll save a seat in my bunker for you.



Can I come? I'll bring Gin...


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## nuclearzombies (22 May 2011)

Bunker 69 3/4 reporting.... All is quiet here in Edmonchuk. I'm disappointed, I was really looking forward to an evening of chaos, zombies, and looting. Guess we'll have to wait till the next predicted apocalypse.  :blotto:


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## Michael OLeary (22 May 2011)




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## Kat Stevens (22 May 2011)

Most disappointed, Heaven appears to be an exact replica of my living room, and God bears an uncanny resemblance to my pitbull.  Of course, this could be Hell and I'm destined to repeat the day my beloved Hammers get relegated for all eternity.  If the fridge packs her in and the barbee runs out of gas today, that suspicion would be confirmed.


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## BernDawg (22 May 2011)

dapaterson said:
			
		

> Reports, coming in from a new moon, of troopers being taken by the rapture.  Photo on link.
> 
> 
> http://twitpic.com/50nszm



"TK-421 Why aren't you at your post?"   

 ;D


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## 211RadOp (24 May 2011)

Attention to all:

New date for Rapture is 12 Oct 2011!! Please stand by for further announcements.


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## OldSolduer (24 May 2011)

211RadOp said:
			
		

> Attention to all:
> 
> New date for Rapture is 12 Oct 2011!! Please stand by for further announcements.



Sorry, but that just won't work here. I have something very important to do that day, maybe. Like take my grandkids somewhere....

No death or destruction that day!!


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## larry Strong (24 May 2011)

Jim Seggie said:
			
		

> Sorry, but that just won't work here. I have something very important to do that day, maybe. Like take my grandkids somewhere....
> 
> No death or destruction that day!!



Your safe.....211RadOp screwed up, it's the 21st of October not the 12th. 

It amazes me how many stupid crackers are out there...........


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## OldSolduer (24 May 2011)

Larry Strong said:
			
		

> Your safe.....211RadOp screwed up, it's the 21st of October not the 12th.
> 
> It amazes me how many stupid crackers are out there...........


Sorry, the 21st won't do either.....My grandson's birthday is the 23rd and he'll be four. SO that clearly won't do. How about 4 December ohhhh....year 3467?


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## Old Sweat (24 May 2011)

4 December just will not do. It's St Barbara's Day!


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## medicineman (24 May 2011)

Old Sweat said:
			
		

> 4 December just will not do. It's St Barbara's Day!



Perfect day for a big bang then right?  ;D

MM


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## dapaterson (24 May 2011)

Old Sweat said:
			
		

> 4 December just will not do. It's St Barbara's Day!



But what better day for things to go boom?  Besides, if the world's going to end at 6pm, that leaves 11am to 6pm for drinking with no worries about a hangover the following day...


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## Staff Weenie (24 May 2011)

What time zone are we talking about here?  I've got to get some drinking in and still leave a few minutes for repentance.....these details are critical to my estimate.


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## Haggis (24 May 2011)

211RadOp said:
			
		

> Attention to all:
> 
> New date for Rapture is 12 Oct 2011!! Please stand by for further announcements.



Any change in the kit list?  Summer or Winter Dress?


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## OldSolduer (24 May 2011)

Haggis said:
			
		

> Any change in the kit list?  Summer or Winter Dress?



Let's leave that up to the troops... I say DEU pants, Parka extreme cold weather, low shoe on right foot, mukluk on left, toque OD....fleece toques are acceptable. 

Highlanders.....kilts or trews as you see fit. Naval and Air pers.....same as above substitute your stuff for Army Stuff. Oh and Naval pers SHALL carry swords. Same with Armored....being cavalry and all.

We Infantry shall carry pointed sticks.


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## jollyjacktar (24 May 2011)

Jim Seggie said:
			
		

> . Oh and Naval pers SHALL carry swords. Same with Armored....being cavalry and all.
> 
> We Infantry shall carry pointed sticks.



All the better for dealing with those pesky Zombies that will no doubt abound....


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## a_majoor (24 May 2011)

Need something to do? Have a little time on your hands? Want to stave off the _REAL_ apocalypse?

http://www.futurepundit.com/archives/008093.html



> *End Of World In 1 Billion Years?*
> 
> Apocalypse Not Yet. You notice any new signs of the end of the world today? I have to say I got distracted and missed paying attention at the moment when it was all supposed to end. My neighborhood is quiet and peaceful. But religious belief is not the only source of predictions of the end of the world. A pair of astronomers say in about 1 billion years the output of our Sun will go up enough to evaporate the oceans and rivers into water vapor.
> 
> ...


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## HavokFour (24 May 2011)

Or you know, colonize Mars. Filthy Earthlings. ;D


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## OldSolduer (24 May 2011)

HavokFour said:
			
		

> Or you know, colonize Mars. Filthy Earthlings. ;D



Only if I can choose who I'm going to colonize Mars with..... >


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## Hammer Sandwich (24 May 2011)

Jim Seggie said:
			
		

> Let's leave that up to the troops... I say DEU pants, Parka extreme cold weather, low shoe on right foot, mukluk on left, toque OD....fleece toques are acceptable.



Now, that was friggin' funny...... :rofl:

This alone should tell people how poorly the rapture would work out!!!


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## OldSolduer (24 May 2011)

Stacked said:
			
		

> Hahahahaha :rofl:



I don't think its funny!!! LOL ;D


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## c.jacob (24 May 2011)

Rapture parties lose their effect when you have too many of them.  Just like when you get remarried. You don't get the same turnout. We all just drink at home.


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## Hammer Sandwich (24 May 2011)

Jim Seggie said:
			
		

> I don't think its funny!!! LOL ;D



I'm pullin' out my DEU trousers (that were issued 30 lbs ago), just to see how they match up to my "canvas combat coat", that I liked in BMQ, and blindly bought in a surplus store.... :facepalm:

.....................Shoot, they look goooooood.

Jesus won't care that my cuffs are +2 inches above the boot, right?

Right?.........


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