# realities of entering reg force with a wife and newborn



## tomasg (24 Aug 2011)

i was told i would be gone from home for a year and would not be able to see them. is this true or would be family be able to join me after bmq or only after trade courses?


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## RCDtpr (24 Aug 2011)

Going to have to be a bit more specific on what trade you are thinking of joining etc.

But in all reality you can pretty much expect to be away form them for at least a few months when you leave for training.  Depending on your financial situation you may or may not see them at all until you are trade qualified.


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## tomasg (24 Aug 2011)

i was thinkin armour but the more i read it looks like a naval trade would help the family situation since i live in bc


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## RCDtpr (24 Aug 2011)

What if you get sent to Halifax?


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## tomasg (27 Aug 2011)

good call, i thought i read that you can give a preference to where to be stationed in the army on its webpage, i just assumed it would be similar for navy


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## Greymatters (27 Aug 2011)

tomasg said:
			
		

> i was thinkin armour but the more i read it looks like a naval trade would help the family situation since i live in bc



1) There is no such thing as 'a trade that will help your family siutation'.  Any military job is going to put stress on your family, not take it away.  

2) Dont expect to stay in BC just because you live her now and plan to join the navy.  Ending up moving your family to Halifax isnt going to make life easier for them either.  neither will 9 months on tour at sea.  

3) If you intend to enjoy a military career, do some reading first and decide what career interests you.


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## RCR Grunt (27 Aug 2011)

Greymatters said:
			
		

> 1) There is no such thing as 'a trade that will help your family siutation'.  Any military job is going to put stress on your family, not take it away.
> 
> 2) Dont expect to stay in BC just because you live her now and plan to join the navy.  Ending up moving your family to Halifax isnt going to make life easier for them either.  neither will 9 months on tour at sea.
> 
> 3) If you intend to enjoy a military career, do some reading first and decide what career interests you.



Further to that:

4) After BMQ expect to spend some time in Borden, depending on trades and element training dates, on PAT platoon.  You could be waiting up to a year for a course, depending on trade.  YOUR FAMILY MAY NOT JOIN YOU.

5) Trades training may take anywhere from 11 weeks to a whole year.  YOUR FAMILY MAY NOT JOIN YOU.

6) Are you prepared to be seperated from your family for up to 2 years?  Is your family prepared for that?  

7) Is your family prepared to be seperated from you for 6 to 9 months for operational tours or cruises?


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## Pusser (27 Aug 2011)

What everyone has described above is technically true; however, it represents the extremes.  These things (particularly separation) can be mitigated.  The fact that the CF may not move your family at public expense does not mean that you will never see your family while you are on training or awaiting training.  While on BMQ/BMOQ you won't have time for anything, but the course, so not seeing your family  at that time is a given.  However, after you've finished that, you can likely take some leave before the next course.  While on trades training you may have opportunities for your family to visit (stay in a motel and you visit with them on evenings or weekends).  This mostly depends on how much money you're willing to spend and how heavy the course load is.  There are sometimes opportunities for PAT personnel to spend their time waiting at bases that are closer to their families (no guarantees, but it does happen).  

If you go into a hard sea occupation, there is a strong possibility that you may be sent to Fleet School Esquimalt for training (you should ask which courses are only offered at one Fleet School or the other), so you would be close to home there.  Another thing to remember is that most hard sea trades have a "Home Port Division" (HPD).  If you are selected for HPD West (again, no guarantees, but you are allowed to state a preference), you can spend the bulk of your career in Esquimalt.  HPDs don't mean that you will never serve anywhere else, but they do tend to avoid the cross-country (Halifax - Esquimalt/Esquimalt- Halifax) postings we used to do every few years. 

Finally, ships seldom deploy for more than six months.  Also that is six months away from home, not six months at sea.  There will be port visits and maybe even opportunities to go home on leave during the deployment (not always, but possible and there may be financial assistance to help with costs).  In almost 30 years in the Navy, I've never seen or even heard of a ship's deployment longer than eight months (and only one of those at that - it was a special case).  Furthermore, we only send one ship at a time on these long deployments so sailors go for years without making those trips and some never make any at all due to their posting cycle. 

Perhaps I'v given you the opposite extreme of what some of the other doomsayers have said, but in my experience, my description is accurate.  Perhaps the real truth is a bit more between the two.  The bottom line is that many things are possible and there are few guarantees, but I don't think you have to accept the idea that you're not going to see your family for two years.  There will be opportunities. It will be up to you how you take advantage of them.

One last thing to keep in mind is that there are some benefits designed to reunite you with your Next of Kin (NOK).  Once per fiscal year (1 Apr - 31 Mar) you are entitled to Leave Travel Assistance (LTA).  This is a subsidy (i.e. doesn't necessarily cover the whole cost, but it can) designed to help you get home.  A key point is that it can be used once per fiscal year.  This does not mean you have to wait a year between uses.  You can go home on leave in February and then do it again in May of the same year if you like  (NB:  assuming member is not on TD where some additional caveats apply, but member on PAT is not likely on TD).  When deployed for more than 120 days, Home Leave Travel Assistance (HLTA) applies, which is separate from LTA and more lucrative.  Also, the CF has Christmas flight program which can be used to get home at Christmas time.  This program gives priority to married personnel separated from their families and using it enables them to save their LTA entitlement for another time.

In short, life is not necessarily a bowl of cherries for those in this situation, but it's not necessarily the pits either.


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## MMSS (30 Aug 2011)

My uncle has been in the navy for many years (currently CPO2) and I know that it played a part in his eventual divorce from my Aunt. I also know that the pride with which he wears his uniform also played a big part in his son joining several years ago, and it is part of the reason that I am in the process. I don't look forward to months away from my wife and children, but it's something that she and I have talked about and we know that it comes with the job and that it doesn't mean that I will never see them again.


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## Greymatters (4 Sep 2011)

Pusser said:
			
		

> Perhaps I'v given you the opposite extreme of what some of the other doomsayers have said, but in my experience, my description is accurate.



I dont see how presenting facts about the experiences of previously serving members makes them 'doomsayers'.


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## mad dog 2020 (4 Sep 2011)

Times are tough right now and many other civilians have to make huge allowances for the sake of a steady pay cheque or family responsibilities.
For example people working in Northern Alberta are gone plenty with a fair amount coming from Nova Scotia. Just this week with the paper mill closing Northern Alberta firms were in town recruiting. 
If you want to get in the Forces and enjoy many of the benefits from an organization that is well versed in looking after families during deployments with rear parties.  Also family support centers and in the case of an emergency travel assistance. 
Just have to be prepared to play the hand you're dealt. 
I did my time and retired and my kids joined up when they were old enough.


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