# Good Stories from summer courses



## bcbarman (26 Aug 2005)

Just wanted to start a forum for people to tell there interesting stories, rants, praises and feelings of their courses of the summer of '05.

Heres one to get started:

     Sgt: hey Pte____, where is your weapon?

     Pte: The other Sgt took it away because he said I had an ND (Negligent Discharge-firing weapon when you not supposed to)

     Sgt: and why would he think that you had a ND?

     Pte: (in depressed voice) because I had a ND

The Sgt had to walk off the position because he was trying so hard not to laugh

Power to ya man, good times, good times

Cheers


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## Jinxed (1 Oct 2005)

There was a funny incident on a 3's course this summer where some guy's bed got taken apart and his bedspace was made in the bathroom.  Duty guys found out and apparently thought it was pretty funny also considering other than the fact that other than the fact that it was in the bathroom, the bedspace was literally made to Basic level standards, measurements and all.


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## Danjanou (1 Oct 2005)

The setting up of some poor course mates bed space somewhere else is an old and honoured tradtion in the military. The real trick is where you do it. The Parade Square is the ultimate, that takes timing and teamwork.


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## meni0n (1 Oct 2005)

I think I know who did it Jinxed. If he's from mtl then we're talking about the same person. A good buddy of mine.


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## Jinxed (1 Oct 2005)

Was it in Kingston?


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## tomas (2 Oct 2005)

we had some good times in wainwright for SQ. did some crazy things.. Im sure every Soldier has those stories though.


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## Gasmonkey (4 Oct 2005)

Heres what i learned about SHARP training: sharp is a program designed to give bums off the street a job. furthermore, A good solider never feels harrassed.

hmm, video cameras are fun... a guy on course got caught looking at porno in a bathroom stall twice, haha.

porno checks, some guy left his porno out so everyone had to bring their porno mags out for inspection to make sure they weren't crap, every one got a rating by the Warrant....

"IS THAT A PUBIC HAIR I SEE IN YOUR GASMASK???" -sgt. as he pulls a curly hair out of my roommates gasmask

having my room tornado'd and boots tied to the cieling. 

oh yeah, on feild ex the trench beside me all fell asleep. Sargent came along, stole the guys C7, loaded a full mag and emptied it at them in the trench from about 4 feet from there faces..... they slept through it. LMAO, that was awesome.


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## foerestedwarrior (5 Oct 2005)

Gasmonkey said:
			
		

> oh yeah, on feild ex the trench beside me all fell asleep. Sargent came along, stole the guys C7, loaded a full mag and emptied it at them in the trench from about 4 feet from there faces..... they slept through it. LMAO, that was awesome.



Not awesome, unsafe, and he should have been charged. What if the BFA threads had stripped and it shot off inot th eface of the individual(s), what if some of the crap that shoots out of the barrel whent into the eyes, of the troop(s)??
Minimum distance for shooting at someone is somethign like 5m I think.


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## tomas (5 Oct 2005)

minimum distance is indeed 5 m though we were told never to fire one at someone.. infact they showed us what it was like by shooting apples with and without a bfa, even without they shot the apple all to crud. it was pretty wierd.


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## Jaxson (5 Oct 2005)

not to get side tracked, but what is a BFA?


Edit: Thanks Michael i didnt even know about the word search.


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## Michael OLeary (5 Oct 2005)

Jaxson said:
			
		

> not to get side tracked, but what is a BFA?



http://army.ca/words/?function=search

Enter "bfa" in search window.


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## MJB (6 Oct 2005)

Danjanou said:
			
		

> The setting up of some poor course mates bed space somewhere else is an old and honoured tradtion in the military. The real trick is where you do it.


In the past two years we have done some interesting things with beds... A whole room standardized in an elevator for a drunk friend... A bed and night table on top of an arena.  And yes, the parade square.  We also filled a buddies room with dirt and trees, put a hooch up and removed all modern day furniture and played war sounds on a stereo. ;D


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## MikeM (6 Oct 2005)

Tomas said:
			
		

> minimum distance is indeed 5 m though we were told never to fire one at someone.. infact they showed us what it was like by shooting apples with and without a bfa, even without they shot the apple all to crud. it was pretty wierd.



Nothing beats the Arty sim in a ammo can though, makes you think twice about throwing near someone. :


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## 025 (6 Oct 2005)

Well i got a good one from my course.. another 'wrong' thing the instructors did i guess like fireing at some one with blank rounds but hey, "a good soldier never feels harassed" 

   Our last day in the trenches at about 0300 hours our mcpl was walking through the trench lines, and we did the usual halt and password..  he knew the password but instead of walking behind the trench he went to walk infront, i told him to stop and turn around and walk behind, just then some one (another instructor) jumped in the trench and grabbed my buddy from behind, some how got his weapon, threw it out of the trench and pinned my buddy to the ground, at the same time, the mcpl grabbed my rifle, pulled me up outta the trench (by the rifle lol, too stubborn to let go, not dumb enough to fire) and pinned me to the ground and did a fake 'interrogation' asking where the c6 gun was placed the names of my supiriors and the location of the other trenchs. after pouring our canteens on us and not getting any answer after about 5 mins they left. the funniest part was the second instructor (who was a bombadier) and was a bit on the larger side was climbing out of the trench lost his footing and fell back in ontop of my friend who was laying on the ground lol


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## 025 (6 Oct 2005)

oh yea, and something that nearly killed me trying not to laugh at

a private runs by the mod tent we are takeing a class in, followed by another private a few seconds later

mcpl - "HEY! cocksucker!"

2nd private - "me?"

mcpl - "yea you, tell that other cock sucker to get over here!"

2nd private - "Hey! cocksucker!"

maybe its just me, or maybe u had to be there, but sitting at attention and trying not to laugh at that nearly killed me


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## ROB14 (11 Oct 2005)

I got to many to share...

-Accidental fire in a roomates locker prior to inspection

-female "entertainment" magazine stuffed under pillow prior to inspection

-overnight eyebrow, mustache shavings

-Condoms in rifles prior to inspections


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## combat_medic (11 Oct 2005)

_A good solider never feels harrassed._

That's a pretty ignorant statement. Yes, I was equally bored sitting through the SHARP lectures, but that doesn't mean they're not occasionally necessary. Ever had a boss tell you that unless you slept with him, you'd be fired? Ever had someone physically molest or assault you in the workplace? 

You think you'd have every right to feel harrassed in those situations? Damn right you would. You think this would make you a bad soldier? Of course not, what an idiotic thought.


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## Blunt Object (15 Oct 2005)

This is my favorite one ever:

Pte: Yes master corporal!!!

Sgt: master coproral??? what is three chevrons and a leaf (pointing to his slip on).

Pte:Thats a Seargent Master coporal!!


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## Madjai (16 Oct 2005)

Pte:  Yes Master Corporal!

Sgt glares at him.

Pte:  Sergeant!

Sgt still glares at him.

Pte:  Master Sergeant!

Had a hard time keeping that one in.


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## Forgotten_Hero (17 Oct 2005)

> Heres what i learned about SHARP training: sharp is a program designed to give bums off the street a job. furthermore, A good solider never feels harrassed.
> 
> hmm, video cameras are fun... a guy on course got caught looking at porno in a bathroom stall twice, haha.
> 
> ...



CFB Kinston, summer of 2005, 2 Platoon, am I right?


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## Reynolds (17 Oct 2005)

well since my troop wo started this little topic I felt obliged to write one.  So during my SQ course we are on the last day of our 5 day field ex.  soaking wet from beautiful bc rain and totaly intoxicated from lack of sleep.  After 3 weeks of belt fed cock the change was nice.  So we go to ground for 15 min thinking we might actually get some sleep when we hear all our DS shouting STAND TO! so we jump up and run like we stole something for the trench when one of our MCPL's decides to throw an arty sim. at my fireteam partner and myself.  Being how tired we kind of stare at it for a second contemplating what to do.  We finally clue into running but we stare right at the arty sim and as it goes off the flash disorients us so bad he just misses falling into a trench and I close line myself on the only tree in the middle of the wide open field.  Anyways,


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## shaboing (17 Oct 2005)

Forgotten_Hero said:
			
		

> CFB Kinston, summer of 2005, 2 Platoon, am I right?


 no, something similar happened though. i have too many stories from that summer. good times good times, maybe i will post some when i have the time and feel like it, haha


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## Forgotten_Hero (18 Oct 2005)

ShaBoing said:
			
		

> no, something similar happened though. i have too many stories from that summer. good times good times, maybe i will post some when i have the time and feel like it, haha



Man, I miss my summer.

Were you there when that one guy was sleeping in his room before the BIQ FTX with his C9 in the open? We took the C9 into another room, woke him up and told him that your WO wanted to see him with his C9. We caught it all on film too  ;D


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## Glorified Ape (18 Oct 2005)

Well, I've got a crazy story but I wouldn't call it "good". I was sitting on the mess balcony in St. Jean one friday, having a beer with some buddies on my BOTC course. We were sitting around, looking forward to the weekend and dreading the upcoming field ex, doing our best to get reasonably drunk and not slobber over the smell of the steaks being cooked on the balcony's BBQ by some junior officers on SLT. From where I was sitting, I could see down the length of the building and as we're shooting the sh--, I hear a loud "WOOOOOOOOOO!!!" like you'd hear from someone riding a roller coaster or something. I look over towards where the noise came from (down the Mega a ways) and I see what looks like a person in combats plumetting down the face of the Mega and landing with a loud "THUMP" on the 2nd story roof that juts out along the eastern face. I couldn't see the landing spot since the edge of the roof was over my line of sight but I was sure he'd landed pretty badly given that he'd been falling face-down.

Well, needless to say I was a little shocked. At first I thought "no way that was a person"; I was hoping maybe it was a set of combats stuffed with someone's stuff (like instructors like to do when you leave your crap unsecure) but then one of the JO's says "what the hell was that?" and another answers "I think that was a person". So we tear-a-- out of the mess and I bump into a few buddies, tell them what happened, and one goes down to report it to the duty desk while the rest of us book it up towards where the guy landed. After a minute or two of frantically trying to find a pod in the area with an open door (so that we can see down to where the guy landed), we find one of our sister platoon's common room doors open. One of my buddies opened a window, looked out, and saw that we were right above the jumper. He punched out the screen (I remember thinking "Dude!!! You're gonna get in so much shi-!!!" but then it kind of clicked that a screen didn't matter much now) and started calling down to the guy, trying to get him to respond. He wasn't responsive in the slightest and you could see the pits his head and feet had made on impact with the gravel roof. 

After about 5 or 10 minutes, my buddy who went down to the duty desk appears on the roof with a guy from our sister platoon who's a nurse. They get to the guy and the nurse starts looking him over while we try to find first aid kit to throw down to him. At this point, there are people watching from probably 5 or 6 different floors so when the nurse yells up that he needs rubber gloves, about 20 pairs flew down. My friend on the roof made the mistake of asking for a Gerber but realized it in time and countered the request before 20 Gerbers came streaking down at him. Finally the MP's show up and tell the NURSE not to touch the guy, at which point he kindly informs the MPs that he's a nurse and that if he doesn't help the guy, he's probably going to die. Then he tells the MPs to go get proper first aid supplies, bring help, etc. which they do. Anyways, after doing a cursory examination, my buddy and the nurse got the guy rolled over onto his back and covered with a wool blanket (it was drizzling rain at the time) and started CPR while they waited for the paramedics, which took about 20 minutes to show up and about 40 more to get the guy down off the roof. 

Needless to say, the guy died (I think he probably died on impact or shortly thereafter - his internal and external injuries were quite extensive). I'd gone back to the mess to finish my beer by the time they got him off the roof (I can recall worrying about my beer being thrown out/taken while we were watching the guys on the roof check over the jumper - and yes, I felt guilty about it). It turns out he was an Ocdt. in his first or second week of training and that he'd been behaving very strangely that day. There was mention of him loudly announcing, in the dining mess, his devotion to God or Jesus or some such thing. Apparently the window he'd jumped from wasn't his own but that of someone else in his platoon. Supposedly he had gone upstairs after dinner and had one or two altercations with other members of his platoon (allegedly resultant from him trying to get in the shower with one or two of them, but I've never heard this confirmed), then proceeded to run into someone else's room, kick them out, lock the door, and jump out the window (on the 10th floor), thus falling 8 stories before he hit the 2nd story roof. 

Just before our departure for our field ex on that Monday, our platoon commander asked if there was anyone that needed counselling and felt they couldn't do the exercise. Of course, none of us said yes. The fact of the matter is that the whole thing was largely over with and forgotten by the time Monday rolled around, what with us frantically trying to get everything prepared for the field. 

That was probably my craziest story from summer '05. 



			
				Gasmonkey said:
			
		

> Heres what i learned about SHARP training: sharp is a program designed to give bums off the street a job. furthermore, A good solider never feels harrassed.



I guess the Lt(N) that gave me my sharp training the summer before last was a bum off the street. As for the latter assertion - bullsh-t. A good soldier never feels harassed when he/she isn't being harassed. I'd wager a good soldier isn't any less of a soldier for feeling harassed when his CO fondles his package on a daily basis.  :


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## shaboing (19 Oct 2005)

Forgotten_Hero said:
			
		

> Man, I miss my summer.
> 
> Were you there when that one guy was sleeping in his room before the BIQ FTX with his C9 in the open? We took the C9 into another room, woke him up and told him that your WO wanted to see him with his C9. We caught it all on film too   ;D



LOL i forgot about that one, i actually was the one that got the c9, they dropped it off to me and said hold on to this for a few mins, i said sure, hahaha, good times, he was paranoid, hahahhaa, he thought it was morning, he thought he was in shit, meanwhile its like 30 mins after he fell asleep at like 6 pm and he doesn't see the camera and all of us laughing cause he is running around tryin to find his stuff


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## Forgotten_Hero (19 Oct 2005)

> LOL i forgot about that one, i actually was the one that got the c9, they dropped it off to me and said hold on to this for a few mins, i said sure, hahaha, good times, he was paranoid, hahahhaa, he thought it was morning, he thought he was in crap, meanwhile its like 30 mins after he fell asleep at like 6 pm and he doesn't see the camera and all of us laughing cause he is running around tryin to find his stuff



Lol, I was the one who went in and got the C9 from the table and put it in your room! I couldnt believe he didnt wake up.


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## Gayson (20 Oct 2005)

OK, I must tell my epic story from this past summer.

I was an admin NCO for an armd recce course in Meaford.  At the end of the course they ran a Milcot conversion, since I didn't have milcot I requested to join the course as a half candidate half staff member for 2 days to get the qualification.

Anyways, one thing led to another and I was to be inspected in my room by a Mcpl whos a buddy of mine, in my room (I got to stay in the shacks).

Well, since it was rumored to be a ****-fest inspection I decided to have some fun.

At this point in the story I need to sidetrack to explain something that is criticle.  My last name is Gayson and my best buddy in my unit's last name is Mason.  He was my bunk mate this past summer.  Him and I have formed a joke team called Team Ason (mason and gayson form team Ason), a little joke team known well in my unit and among a few soldiers in 32bde.

So. . . That morning at 7:45 the Mcpl showed up to my room to inspect me.  To his surprise there was:

A pair of gitch hanging off the rotating ceiling fan

My buddy and I were standing at attention yelling the timings for attention COMPLETELY naked minus our helmets and boots which were worn.

We had painted Team Ason on our chests with black cam paint, one guy had the word Team, the other Ason.

Another buddy was pretending to sleep naked on Masons bunk above the sheets, behind us naked.

We had a blow-up sheep on my bunk (I was not the one who brought this) with a condom hanging out of its ***.

Our kit was all over the floor.

The look on the Mcpl's face was epic and was witnessed by many on my floor.  For the rest of the summer the entire first floor south dorm knew what Team Ason was.

Also it must be noted that the Mcpl was so shocked I did not get the ****, he was quite impressed with the show I arranged.


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## Gasmonkey (24 Oct 2005)

Forgotten_Hero said:
			
		

> CFB Kinston, summer of 2005, 2 Platoon, am I right?



2 platoon? 5 Platoon I think.... cant remember though


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## Peace (24 Oct 2005)

Glorified Ape said:
			
		

> Well, I've got a crazy story but I wouldn't call it "good". I was sitting on the mess balcony in St. Jean one friday, having a beer with some buddies on my BOTC course. We were sitting around, looking forward to the weekend and dreading the upcoming field ex, doing our best to get reasonably drunk and not slobber over the smell of the steaks being cooked on the balcony's BBQ by some junior officers on SLT. From where I was sitting, I could see down the length of the building and as we're shooting the sh--, I hear a loud "WOOOOOOOOOO!!!" like you'd hear from someone riding a roller coaster or something. I look over towards where the noise came from (down the Mega a ways) and I see what looks like a person in combats plumetting down the face of the Mega and landing with a loud "THUMP" on the 2nd story roof that juts out along the eastern face. I couldn't see the landing spot since the edge of the roof was over my line of sight but I was sure he'd landed pretty badly given that he'd been falling face-down.
> 
> Well, needless to say I was a little shocked. At first I thought "no way that was a person"; I was hoping maybe it was a set of combats stuffed with someone's stuff (like instructors like to do when you leave your crap unsecure) but then one of the JO's says "what the heck was that?" and another answers "I think that was a person". So we tear-a-- out of the mess and I bump into a few buddies, tell them what happened, and one goes down to report it to the duty desk while the rest of us book it up towards where the guy landed. After a minute or two of frantically trying to find a pod in the area with an open door (so that we can see down to where the guy landed), we find one of our sister platoon's common room doors open. One of my buddies opened a window, looked out, and saw that we were right above the jumper. He punched out the screen (I remember thinking "Dude!!! You're gonna get in so much shi-!!!" but then it kind of clicked that a screen didn't matter much now) and started calling down to the guy, trying to get him to respond. He wasn't responsive in the slightest and you could see the pits his head and feet had made on impact with the gravel roof.
> 
> ...



I was there with my buddy who is an officer cadet.

He used to be my WO1 in air cadets and I happened Upon him close to my grad from BMQ... we were in the officers mess for a beer and we heard about it.  I dont know which was you but i saw that the window that must have been yours.   That was the seccond jumper that summer.

NOT TO MENTION the cerial rapist....  you OCDTS are messd up man.


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## Peace (25 Oct 2005)

2332Piper said:
			
		

> Oh god help those Cheerios from the SERIAL rapist (we got told about that too). Seems that was quite the summer at St Jean. Although to the comment about OCdts being messed up and all, I'd agree but then I look into the recruit mess when all the BMQ folks get off for the weekend....watch the slagging buddy. Keep in mind IAP/BOTC can be awefully stressfull, far more so then BMQ (you don't have to worry about something a silly as twenty different interpretations of the task procedure being the one thing standing between you passing or failing IAP). Stress does odd things to people.



Hey i didnt say it was easy.  I just youre messed.  ;D


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## combat_medic (26 Oct 2005)

Cereal Rapist:







God bless tshirthell


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