# Trying again!



## Elorajen (24 Dec 2010)

Another kick at the cat for me.  It's a long story, but hopefully someone may get some handy info from it.

I received a letter stating that I was unfit for service, the reason given was that I had been diagnosed with "recurrant depression", which was not exactly the case. 

I had seen my GP in 1998 because of repeated miscarriages and some of the feelings that I had been having from that. My personal and professional life was also being affected, and as a result I was put on an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant medication for a short time and I went to see a psychologist. I saw him for about 2 years, I wasn't on the medication that long though. The work I did with him addressed some pretty sad/scary family of origin issues that were at the root of the "depression". We did a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy and I came out of there a much stronger woman. 

I attained my bachelors degree in psychology (2000-2004), I started a successful thriving business and did finally start to carry babies to term. 

While pregnant with my second child (2006), I was told that my chances of miscarriage, pre-term labor and stillbirth was very high due to a structural and hormonal issue (she was my 7th pregnancy). Two months before she was finally born, I began to get extremely hormonal, I was snapping at the husband and my then 3 year old child. I went to see my OBGYN to express my concerns and he put me on Prozac, which settled out whatever the hell the hormonal/anxiety storm that I was going through.  I was advised to remain on the medication until after I weaned her, in the meantime, we were posted across the country and finding another care provider (GP) where I could be "weaned" off the medication myself took some time. It wasn't until August of 2008 that I finally was able to see a doctor about it (Weaned baby in March 2008, HHT in April 2008, Move in July 2008).  The pregnancy also sorted out my hormonal imbalance and literally nearly killed me, so it took me almost a full year to recover.  Our family is complete, permanently, so a recurrance of PPD is out of the question. 

Nowhere though in any of the doctors documentation that I sent in did it indicate that I had been diagnosed with "recurrant depression" which is what the DND letter said. My OBGYN did not refer me to a psychologist or a psychiatrist. Only the medication was required. 

I applied to the recuruiting center in March of 2009. I received my denial letter in May of 2009. I initially called the center to see how I could go about having them take another look at my file, but became discouraged. The medical clerk was very negative (she wasn't even looking at my file) and I was pretty upset to begin with.  I was just coming into the busy period of my business, so I threw myself into my work and put the DND issue on the back burner. 

In November of 2009 I met a woman through my business who used to work at the recruiting center as a PA in HFX and is retired from the reg force currently. We got chatting and I told her my story. She told me that I can repeal it, write a letter, get a psych assessment done and send it in. No guarentees of course, but if its something that I really wanted, then I should do it. I bumped into her a few more times, and I told her my progress at writing a letter and I had started seeing a psychologist with the intention of starting an assessment. She was very enouraging, and we talked further and she volunteered to help me word the letter correctly. She would know best how to word it of course, given her background.  

My family of origin background is severe, and frankly I think I've come a very long way considering what I had been dealt in life. Had I not seen a psychologist at the time, (and frankly when dealing with traumatic issues, being on an anti-anxiety medication can help processing the indicents more effectively) then I really would not be where I am today. I don't think that being on the medication or seeing a psychologist makes me weak at all, in fact its made me stronger! 

I approached a psychologist last year, telling him what I wanted (debreifing, pencil and paper assessment, and a written report based on the findings) but the first time we met, he sat there completely blackballing the military, telling me that no, I should go on and get my masters or Ph.D, that I should become a clinical psychologist. Well, hell the man didn't know me from a hole in the ground and he's telling me this? So, I stopped seeing him. 

Then of course, the husband deployed in December 2009, so I thought this would be a good test of my own mental health, to see if I would have a recurrance of anxiety/depression etc. To see if I can handle the stress of being on the other side of the country from family, at home with 2 kids and a busy, growing business. I survived, in fact, I thrived and became even more confident that joining the CF is for me. 

My new friend helped me with the letter and I am currently in the middle of an appropriate psychological assessment (you really don't want to know what its costing me). When everyone is back from block leave, I'll be calling the recruiting center and telling them that I plan on sending them a letter and to please recall my file (I assume that it has been put into storage). 

I've also been working with a trainer weekly, my goal is to be able to pass the fitness test even before I even head for basic. I'm confident that my efforts will not be in vain. I had contemplated waiting and sending the paperwork for that along with my letter, however I think it will be another few months before I'm strong enough, and I'd like to submit my letter now because I'm still likely looking at a long wait. 

So, hopefully I will be able to post again within the next few months my news, good or bad. 

If you've gotten this far, kudos!  ;D


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## Journeyman (24 Dec 2010)

Elorajen said:
			
		

> Well, hell the man didn't know me from a hole in the ground and he's telling me this? So, I stopped seeing him.


He didn't know you from a hole in the ground..... yet you wanted him to write a letter saying even though you'd been deemed psychologically unfit for the CF we should take you anyway?  


Do you believe that you'll get more supportive responses, posting the same sad story in your own personal thread that you did in the Recruiting Medical threads? [This is a rhetorical question, by the way.] 



Edit: My post may seem unduly harsh towards the orignal poster. I assure you that it's not personal, but rather is driven by frustration at the never-ending stream of posters who have been deemed unfit for the CF for whatever reason, and yet feel the need to post in a public forum that their boyfriend/mom/tarot card reader thinks they're special so the CF should make an exception for them. I assure all such people that the recruiting and training system is optimized to provide us with a suitable number of admin burdens without having to make exceptions.


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## Elorajen (24 Dec 2010)

> He didn't know you from a hole in the ground..... yet you wanted him to write a letter saying even though you'd been deemed psychologically unfit for the CF we should take you anyway?



It was within the first 20 minutes of the initial debreif interview. It is not his place in a professional session to voice his personal feelings on the issue with so little information gathered (refer back to the hole in the ground). It would have been a different story if the eval had been completed (and he had done his research and looked at the assessment that would have been completed), and I would have taken his advice to heart. In fact, the way he behaved goes against many of the ethical principles perscribed to by the Canadian Psychological Association. 

As I indicated, I am in the middle of a proper eval. Which includes 2 hours of interview and history taking. A letter of permission to speak with former psychologists, (the CF basher included), the MCMI which will provide a diagnosis if there is one, two hours of assessment review, a follow up interview to discuss the results and if a letter will be written at all, and then another 2-3 hours of report writing.  

I don't think it's unreasonable for people to know what to expect.



> Do you believe that you'll get more supportive responses, posting the same sad story in your own personal thread that you did in the Recruiting Medical threads? [This is a rhetorical question, by the way.]



Your animosity is not appreciated nor is an appropriate response. If you feel that my post in general is redundant compared to what is already here, then by all means, delete it.  

My goal was to provide additional information for people who are seeking it. I read through the merged depression thread, used the search function and I did not find anything that followed through if someone decided to appeal that particular decision. There were plenty of people stating that they were deemed unfit, but there was no follow through. 

What did they do? How did they approach the situation? Were they successful? I found one instance where someone went to a psychiatrist and got a letter and then got in. Not exactly helpful as the issue was not fully explained.



> My post may seem unduly harsh towards the orignal poster.....blah blah blah



If posts like mine piss you off, then don't read them. It's pretty simple really, if you have a hard time controlling yourself,  I do beleive that they still provide anger management classes for CF members.


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## Journeyman (28 Dec 2010)

Edited to take it to PMs.  

However, let me leave one thought, quoting a Directing Staff member advising yet another person not in the CF, whose feelings were hurt by the tone of a non-fawning response:


> If you cannot put up with some bluntness here, you are not going to survive in the CF for long.


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## Loachman (29 Dec 2010)

Journeyman said:
			
		

> However, let me leave one thought, quoting a Directing Staff member advising yet another person not in the CF, whose feelings were hurt by the tone of a non-fawning response:



The originator of that quote challenged a medical opinion during his initial application to the Regular Force too, just like the original poster here (although for different reasons), and he turned out just fine.

Elorajen is using an approved appeal process. She may or may not be deemed fit, but I see no reason to slam her for doing so and relating her experience.

And with that, I believe that I'm once again in balance.


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## Nauticus (29 Dec 2010)

It sounds like the issue the CFRC has a problem with is the fact that you _do_ have a history of negative psychological and/or biological circumstances that may cause depression, and the fact that you have been on medication multiple times suggests to them that they feel you may or may not succumb to it again. The biggest problem is how recently your last episode occurred - merely a few years ago.

Neither you or they know if it'll happen again. Period. For any reason. But all you can do to better convince them is to put in a few years of having no issues, then apply. Keep in mind, as hard as it may be for a husband to go away for an extended period of time, the CF will be hesitant to enlist somebody who is unsure how they'd handle it to begin with.

/opinion


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