# If the LAV's  A'Rockin....



## The Bread Guy (11 Jun 2006)

Gotta love those Access to Information requests...

 Shared in accordance with the "fair dealing" provisions, Section 29, of the Copyright Act - http://www.cb-cda.gc.ca/info/act-e.html#rid-33409

http://www.recorder.ca/cp/National/060611/n061133A.html

Canadian soldiers going through military-issued condoms at skyrocketing rate 
ALEXANDER PANETTA, Canadian Press, 11 Jun 06

''OTTAWA (CP) - Internal military documents suggest Canadian soldiers really are getting a lot more action these days. 

The troops are being supplied with condoms at what appears to be a staggering pace, with documents suggesting a 12-fold increase from just four years ago. 

The military has dispensed just under 300,000 publicly paid prophylactics in each of the last two years, say figures obtained under the Access to Information Act. 

"We hand them out like Kleenex," said one military official. "(The soldiers) just walk into the dispensary and claim them. We don't ask questions." 

The troops are fighting terrorists in Afghanistan and helping to protect a fragile democracy. They're training on bases at home to prepare for their perilous mission. 

And in each of the last two years, they've used about $40,000 worth of lubricated, non-lubricated and non-latex female condoms, all paid for by the government. 

Military brass do not keep track of where the condoms are distributed, so it's impossible to know how many are being used in Afghanistan or elsewhere. 

At home and abroad, the Canadian Forces have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy when soldiers request condoms at military dispensaries. 

The policy dates to the First World War, and the military says it saves taxpayers money by keeping the troops out of the infirmary. 

"Certainly the time spent to diagnose and treat (a sexually transmitted) disease, the time lost to duty . . . are costs to the service," said Maj. Jim Anderson of the military health services group. 

"Part of the role of the Canadian Forces health service is to keep Canadian Forces members healthy so they can do their job." 

Use of military-issued condoms has risen drastically since 2002 but the demand has ebbed and flowed over a longer period. 

In 1999, soldiers used 295,200 condoms supplied by National Defence. By 2002, the number had fallen to 25,355 condoms and the figures have increased steadily over the four years since. Military officials had no explanation for the fluctuation. 

The good news for Canadian taxpayers is they're getting lots more bang for their buck. 

The cost of condoms distributed in 1999 was over $100,000 - or more than 30 cents for each prophylactic. The cost the last two years has dropped by almost two-thirds, to about $40,000 or 13 cents a condom. 

Military spokespeople could not explain the drop in price or whether some change in accounting practice could help explain the dramatic increase in use. 

Sex between soldiers on the Kandahar air base in Afghanistan - where 2,300 Canadian troops are deployed - is strictly forbidden and could result in disciplinary action. 

But the military supplies soldiers with condoms there, too. It cannot say whether any are being used illicitly on the base, or whether they're all being used during authorized leaves of absence. 

"I can't comment on what the usage might be," Anderson said. "Our (role) isn't to be judgmental. It's to keep people safe. 

"If two soldiers decide to break the rules, that's their decision. But if they're going to break the rules I would rather they do it safely, rather than compound the administrative problem with a medical problem." 

Journalists in Afghanistan have heard from soldiers about on-base sexual relationships and have seen other evidence. 

Soldiers often used visual cues on bases meant to indicate "Do not disturb." 

At the now-closed Camp Julien base, a white T-shirt draped on the back of a light armoured vehicle was a signal not to disturb the lovemaking inside.  

Journalists returning from Canada's new base in Kandahar say there's less visual evidence to suggest the practice has continued there. 

"We have a non-fraternization policy on international missions," said Lt.-Col. Rita Lepage. 

"(It applies to) interpreters who are in our employ, journalists who are embedded. It's a non-fraternization policy that's very extensive." 

- 

A quick look at condom purchases by the Canadian Forces for free distribution to soldiers, as calculated by the Department of National Defence. 

-1998: 219,312 condoms. Cost: $59,168 

-1999: 295,200 condoms. Cost: $100,483 

-2000: 158,991 condoms. Cost: $52,621 

-2001: 84,684 condoms. Cost: $28,438 

-2002: 25,355 condoms. Cost: $5,324 

-2003: 173,769 condoms. Cost: $24,958 

-2004: 285,751 condoms. Cost: $41,113 

-2005-March 2006: 306,522 condoms. Cost: $39,541 ''


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## GAP (11 Jun 2006)

As most know on this site....they are used to keep equipment (read muzzles) clean. That dust blowing around gets in everywhere...a condom is perfect. Works for other equipment too!!  (No NOT that equipment!! ;D)


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## The Bread Guy (11 Jun 2006)

Funny, then, how either:

1)  the PR communicators didn't mention that as a possible option; or

2)  some PR communicators did, but the reporter didn't write about it.


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## GAP (11 Jun 2006)

milnewstbay said:
			
		

> Funny, then, how either:
> 
> 1)  the PR communicators didn't mention that as a possible option; or
> 
> 2)  some PR communicators did, but the reporter didn't write about it.



Why would they....if that was the story...it wouldn't be a story


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## Michael OLeary (11 Jun 2006)

Why offer a clear indication of a valid (i.e., non-sexual) uses, especially ones that most readers won't think of themselves, when you can leave the whole question of how they're being used open to interpretative?  Effective journalism, vice objective reporting, lends itself well to having the reader jump to conclusions.


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## Kat Stevens (11 Jun 2006)

It used to SOP to stick a box of them in the winter warfare tent group.  Arctic turnips took a little finesse to pull off, but it sure beat unbagging at minus-holy-crap degrees to go outside for a leak.


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## winchable (11 Jun 2006)

> -2004: 285,751 condoms. Cost: $41,113
> 
> -2005-March 2006: 306,522 condoms. Cost: $39,541



Either their getting a discount on rubbers at th 300,000 mark or we've switched to an economy brand.


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## medicineman (11 Jun 2006)

I think some twit reporter hasn't got anything else better to do with their time. Perhaps they should examine the other uses for them - survival kits, medical kits (other than for passing out for getting lucky) and on weapons and such.

MM


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## paracowboy (11 Jun 2006)

sounds like someone was trying to hit on a troop and was rebuffed, to me.

As others have indicated, the uses for comdoms, aside from sexual, are numerous, in the Army.


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## Booked_Spice (11 Jun 2006)

See this is why I love this site.

Education.. Education. I had no idea the various uses for Condoms other then the usual. I was a little surprised by the article and the distribution of condoms in Afghanistan but now I realize they have hmm lots of practical uses.

But on the other side of the coin, I am pretty sure the the Lav does rock every now and then. I have heard stories not sure of the truth of them.

Thanks


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## KevinB (11 Jun 2006)

FWIW - I always thought that is what the bunkers where for at Julien    or so I heard...  ;D

LAV's layout is so impractical for that sort of activity


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## Scott (11 Jun 2006)

Yup, I am sure there are lots of stories out there about traditional uses of condoms (Maybe I should say use of them in the role originally designed for ;D) but I wish this reporter had reported on it happening in civvy life as well.

People sleep with each other in hospitals, banks, police, fire and ambulance stations, drilling rig camps, forestry depots, banks, gas stations - blah, blah, blah.


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## KevinB (11 Jun 2006)

I got more "action" Fighting Fires in Kelowna than I ever got overseas with the CF...


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## Gunner (11 Jun 2006)

Considering there are approximately 100,000 people (~60K Regulars, ~25K Reserves, and a wide variety of cadets and civvies) in  the greater defence community who draw on "condom central", maybe the journalist should have asked why more aren't being purchased and, in theory, used?  Sensational journalism.   :threat:


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## Scott (11 Jun 2006)

Infidel-6 said:
			
		

> I got more "action" Fighting Fires in Kelowna than I ever got overseas with the CF...



And I was given rubbers by the medics there. Gave them away but they were still given to me...


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## vonGarvin (11 Jun 2006)

Infidel-6 said:
			
		

> FWIW - I always thought that is what the bunkers where for at Julien    or so I heard...  ;D
> 
> LAV's layout is so impractical for that sort of activity


Nah, that just adds to the thrill of trying to be inventive.


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## KevinB (11 Jun 2006)

I'm all for inventive -- but combat loaded with how they left the LAV's ready to go -- I can't see it being a feasible activity -- unless your plasticman and she's a gymnist/yoga instructor.


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## 1feral1 (11 Jun 2006)

Infidel-6 said:
			
		

> FWIW - I always thought that is what the bunkers where for at Julien    or so I heard...  ;D
> 
> LAV's layout is so impractical for that sort of activity



Not that long ago, I had Nancy in the guts of a Type 1 Phase 2 gun car. There she was in the comd's seat, myself in the gunners. Blue flag flying, and she had that turret spinning around, and gun going up and down. She read off the turret opening and closing drilss, and I monkey'd with the 25mm, cycling it, calling out the drills. In that turret, there is barely enough room to fart, and when the beast is laden, even in the back not enough room to barley move. Too me honest, I did not even think about christening the beast that day, but humm, what about the ambo, or a an empty Type 2 PC?????? That will be another mission in the planning!

Cheers,

Wes


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## Teddy Ruxpin (11 Jun 2006)

Gunner said:
			
		

> Considering there are approximately 100,000 people (~60K Regulars, ~25K Reserves, and a wide variety of cadets and civvies) in  the greater defence community who draw on "condom central", maybe the journalist should have asked why more aren't being purchased and, in theory, used?  Sensational journalism.   :threat:



+1

Moreover, in theatre, condoms can be obtained prior to going on leave... Makes perfect sense to me.  Typical asinine reporting, making something out of nothing.


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## vonGarvin (11 Jun 2006)

Infidel-6 said:
			
		

> I'm all for inventive -- but combat loaded with how they left the LAV's ready to go -- I can't see it being a feasible activity -- unless your plasticman and she's a *gymnist/yoga instructor*.



One could only hope


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## 17thRecceSgt (11 Jun 2006)

This is assuming they are using them all for...'recreational activities'.  Maybe there is a TON of "waterballoon" fights going on somewhere by some VERY bored people.


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## 17thRecceSgt (11 Jun 2006)

wow.  CTV news just had a clip on "Canadian soldiers seeing more action" than in recent past WRT to post.  I had to laugh!


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## 291er (12 Jun 2006)

Maybe they were talking about a Bison, afterall, to reporters anything with more than 4 wheels is an armoured vehicle or a tank...I could see that being possible in the back of a Bison ambulance....if there's enough room for a stretcher.....


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## TMM (12 Jun 2006)

300 000 condoms for a work force of 100 000 isn't that much once you crunch the numbers LOL.


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## Thompson_JM (12 Jun 2006)

TMM said:
			
		

> 300 000 condoms for a work force of 100 000 isn't that much once you crunch the numbers LOL.



3 per troop... in theory......

I i know a guy in our unit who uses up the entire Brigade allotment though..... quite the ladies man....


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## Michael Dorosh (12 Jun 2006)

Cpl Thompson said:
			
		

> 3 per troop... in theory......
> 
> I i know a guy in our unit who uses up the entire Brigade allotment though..... quite the ladies man....



Or claims to...there is one of those in every <s>regiment</s> section...


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## ExSarge (12 Jun 2006)

Reminds me of that old story of the Highland Regiment (who shall remain nameless). The RSM marched into a drug store one day, kilt swirling, bonnet set at a jaunty angle, brass gleaming, pace stick tucked tightly under his arm. Marching straight up to the Pharmacist he slapped a well used condom down onto the counter. The pharmacist looked on this ripped, stained obviously much used pieice of latex in distaste as the RSM thundered out his request "How much to replace". The pharmacist named a price. The RSM grunted and asked "How much to repair" The Pharmacist considered the request, determined how much it would cost to repair the rips, sterilize and repackage and named another price. Again the RSM grunted, picked up the condom, executed an about turn and marched out. Two weeks later the RSM marched back into the Pharmacy. Slapping some money down on the counter the RSM in his best parade ground voice thundered out "The Regiment has decided to replace!".


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## pbi (12 Jun 2006)

The first thing that came to my mind was putting them over the muzzle of the weapons (any weapons) to keep the sand out. That trick has been around for years, and probably consumes quite a few. But, I must admit, it does seem a pretty trivial and stupid thing to write about. What's next: how many pieces of toilet paper or sanitary napkins are being used?

Cheres


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## mover1 (12 Jun 2006)

in mirage the condoms were put in the wash rooms. the medics complained they were disappearing like they were going out of style. A quick investigation concluded that all the civvie contractors were taking them. 

Besides no one uses those Trojans they issue. Its like wearing a damn section of MOD on your wee man.


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## 17thRecceSgt (12 Jun 2006)

pbi said:
			
		

> The first thing that came to my mind was putting them over the muzzle of the weapons (any weapons) to keep the sand out. That trick has been around for years, and probably consumes quite a few. But, I must admit, it does seem a pretty trivial and stupid thing to write about. What's next: how many pieces of toilet paper or sanitary napkins are being used?
> 
> Cheres



I had thought of that but, having never done it myself, I was anticipating "oh ya, where did you see that Mud, G.I. Jane or something?"


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## Jantor (12 Jun 2006)

The Big Red One.......Starring Lee Marvin

 ;D


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## Teddy Ruxpin (12 Jun 2006)

Well, I see that this "story" has been picked up by the Canadian Press this morning, is the subject of an article in the Ottawa Citizen and guffaws on what passes for morning radio news here in Edmonton.

Pathetic.


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## pbi (12 Jun 2006)

Teddy Ruxpin said:
			
		

> Well, I see that this "story" has been picked up by the Canadian Press this morning, is the subject of an article in the Ottawa Citizen and guffaws on what passes for morning radio news here in Edmonton.
> 
> Pathetic.



Maybe it will help recruitng.....

Cheers


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## muffin (12 Jun 2006)

pbi said:
			
		

> Maybe it will help recruitng.....
> 
> Cheers



HAHA That is a good point! I likely will! haha!


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## Hot Lips (12 Jun 2006)

pbi said:
			
		

> Maybe it will help recruitng.....
> 
> Cheers


Well it certainly doesn't hurt university enrollment...LMAO...as long as everyone is playing safe and keeping themselves safe who really cares...over guns...or over "guns" 
I am all for health promotion.
HL


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## sgtdixon (12 Jun 2006)

you ever see a 14yr old boy in cadet MIR for the first time?
If i hadnt have been one myself, i would never have believed how many you can fit in a tilley hat and pt shorts and your socks...
those little rodents grab rubbers like...well...i dont have a good analogy, but you get the dope.


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## 17thRecceSgt (12 Jun 2006)

Bottom line, I just think they had nothing else to report on that day so they had to have SOMETHING for people to talk about.

Whats next?  

"Canadian soldiers use babywipes" or "Canadian Service people are being given cough syrup"?

Funny how soo many commercials are on TV about safe sex.  I guess that only applies to non-service people.  Service people are SUPPOSED to risk their lives in any way, shape or form possible.

Next weeks report will be on...how many Canadian soldiers/sailors/air men-women use Crest WhiteStrips for the love of gawd...

What bothers me the most is the "suggestive" nature of the report, like there is a major hump-fest on the go on Bases or something.

Go to your average university, or civie company...and do the stats for non-military in equal numbers.

Give it up, media.  christ.  :boring:


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## TMM (12 Jun 2006)

Mud Recce Man said:
			
		

> Bottom line, I just think they had nothing else to report on that day so they had to have SOMETHING for people to talk about.



Guess that's what happens when you have a decent bunch of professionals doing the job, eh? No tales of mass murder, rape. looting, pillaging or baby killing by the CF. If this is all the "dirt" one can rake up these days consider yourself lucky.


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## a_majoor (12 Jun 2006)

It was once common to wrap handsets/headsets in a condom to seal out moisture and dust as well.



			
				mover1 said:
			
		

> Besides no one uses those Trojans they issue. Its like wearing a damn section of MOD on your wee man.



According to barracks room discussion, most members DO require a section (or two) of mod tent for their "wee man".  ;D ;D ;D


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## 17thRecceSgt (12 Jun 2006)

a_majoor said:
			
		

> It was once common to wrap handsets/headsets in a condom to seal out moisture and dust as well.
> 
> According to barracks room discussion, most members DO require a section (or two) of mod tent for their "wee man".  ;D ;D ;D



 :rofl:  Alittle bit of "fishing stories" ref size is there?   ;D


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## Hot Lips (12 Jun 2006)

Well as a nurse I must say that would be an exaggeration...but what would I know  ;D

HL


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## 17thRecceSgt (12 Jun 2006)

Hot Lips said:
			
		

> Well as a nurse I must say that would be an exaggeration...but what would I know  ;D
> 
> HL



what would be?


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## C/10 (13 Jun 2006)

Interesting article I found 

http://www.mytelus.com/news/article.do?pageID=canada_home&articleID=2289184&lid=hp3


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## muskrat89 (13 Jun 2006)

Already being done in another thread.


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## cobbler (13 Jun 2006)

You can't win with the media.

If they hadn't written about Service members using so many condoms they would have done an article about how Canadian Forces go around to every town/port having unprotected sex with the local population or some other BS.


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## C/10 (13 Jun 2006)

Che said:
			
		

> Either their getting a discount on rubbers at th 300,000 mark or we've switched to an economy brand.



LOL 
 the Superstore Brand?


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## zipperhead_cop (13 Jun 2006)

Maybe the article was to dove tail into their new recruiting campaign....


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## SoF (13 Jun 2006)

You know I wonder how many of those 300,000 condoms are actualy being used for their "intended" purpose; once you deduct the many being used to protect equipment (guns), and the cadets grabbing them like candy. Yet, the press are making a big deal about this; yes soldiers have sex just like every other person.


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## GAP (13 Jun 2006)

SoF said:
			
		

> You know I wonder how many of those 300,000 condoms are actualy being used for their "intended" purpose; once you deduct the many being used to protect equipment (guns), and the cadets grabbing them like candy. Yet, the press are making a big deal about this; yes soldiers have sex just like every other person.



NO they don't BREED, do they???  Maybe that's the answer to the recruiting problem....just put them in cages and Voila!!!....instant peoples!!!  ;D


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## Red 6 (13 Jun 2006)

This is probably a dumb question. If they want to cover muzzles, why don't they just buy muzzle covers? :


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## GAP (13 Jun 2006)

Because if you come in contact, you can simply shoot through the condom


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## Haggis (13 Jun 2006)

SoF said:
			
		

> yes soldiers have sex just like every other person.



I like to think I'm better than average!  ;D


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## theoldyoungguy (13 Jun 2006)

well now im pissed off, your telling me for the past 2 years ive been using my own condoms to place around my C-7, when i could be getting them for free from the MIR :crybaby:

damn it i gotta start going to the MIR


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## Walrus (13 Jun 2006)

In order to keep track of miltary Condoms I heard starting next month the CF will only be issuing CADPAT condoms.

I hope I do not drop one in the forest, I will never find it.

Walrus


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## TMM (13 Jun 2006)

I'm thinking Trojans new ad campaign should be "Nuzzle your muzzle."



			
				Walrus said:
			
		

> In order to keep track of military Condoms I heard starting next month the CF will only be issuing CADPAT condoms.



Now there's a novel fundraising idea! Talk about lifting up morale


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## SoF (13 Jun 2006)

GAP said:
			
		

> Because if you come in contact, you can simply shoot through the condom



Won't that defeat the whole purpose of the condom... ;D


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## Pea (13 Jun 2006)

Walrus said:
			
		

> In order to keep track of miltary Condoms I heard starting next month the CF will only be issuing CADPAT condoms.





			
				TMM said:
			
		

> I'm thinking Trojans new ad campaign should be "Nuzzle your muzzle."
> 
> Now there's a novel fundraising idea! Talk about lifting up morale



 :rofl: I am not even going to touch that one....


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## medicineman (13 Jun 2006)

When I worked at RMC, each squadron had a condom rep.  Inevitably, it was a baby first year.  We had a trial of some tootie frootie ones - cool colours and fruit flavours.  A yound Dom O came in one day asking for her squadron's supply.  I asked if she wanted some of the fruit flavoured ones in with the others.  She looked at me like I was a four headed alien and asked "What would anyone want with fruit flavoured condoms?"  I looked at my 2 i/c - "Do you want to explain this or should I?"  He indicated that I should.  "Well, it goes kind of something like this..."  and never got the rest out as she got rather red/off purple in colour and I could see the light bulb over her head sort of explode.  "I don't want to know!!" she sputtered as she turned and bee lined it for the door - without her baggie of condoms.

MM


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## GAP (13 Jun 2006)

LOL  ;D

Tsk Tsk Tsk...kinda sensitive....I think the "nuzzle your muzzle" motto should be posted...it's an alternative explanation  :


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## Michael Dorosh (13 Jun 2006)

Red 6 said:
			
		

> This is probably a dumb question. If they want to cover muzzles, why don't they just buy muzzle covers? :



We already have them, hard plastic ones in black and in red.


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## a_majoor (13 Jun 2006)

Michael Dorosh said:
			
		

> We already have them, hard plastic ones in black and in red.



Not all ladies like black and red, and most people (male and female) find the hard plastic uncomfortable.


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## Haggis (13 Jun 2006)

a_majoor said:
			
		

> Not all ladies like black and red, and most people (male and female) find the hard plastic uncomfortable.



Context, Arthur, context.



			
				Michael Dorosh said:
			
		

> We already have them, hard plastic ones in black and in red.



Which are single use, single purpose and harder to come by items than a mitt full of rubbers.

(Coincidentally, condoms don't turn your muzzle into a bright red knob and can also protect the bright red knob. )


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## zipperhead_cop (13 Jun 2006)

"And in each of the last two years, they've used about $40,000 worth of lubricated, non-lubricated and non-latex female condoms, all paid for by the government. " 

Okay, we all get the "other" uses for the Johnny hats, but I can't think for the life of me what other purpose the vag dams are for.  ???  Poke holes in them and use them as coffee ground filters?


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## Scoobie Newbie (13 Jun 2006)

Dust cover for the Karl G.


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## paracowboy (13 Jun 2006)

Quagmire said:
			
		

> Dust cover for the Karl G.


and 81 mm


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## zipperhead_cop (13 Jun 2006)

Quagmire said:
			
		

> Dust cover for the Karl G.



 :rofl:

You, sir, must have some unfortunately shaped "Large Marge's" in your unit.


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## Red 6 (14 Jun 2006)

paracowboy said:
			
		

> and 81 mm



Boy, ya'll must be gettin' some huge rubbers to make them fit onto the end of a mortar tube. I still think you could get some muzzle caps.... :


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## Scoobie Newbie (14 Jun 2006)

That's in reference to female condoms.


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## Kat Stevens (14 Jun 2006)

Red 6 said:
			
		

> Boy, ya'll must be gettin' some huge rubbers to make them fit onto the end of a mortar tube. I still think you could get some muzzle caps.... :



Yes, they have "made in Canada" on one side of the wrapper, and "size S" on the other.


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## Hot Lips (14 Jun 2006)

TMM said:
			
		

> I'm thinking Trojans new ad campaign should be "Nuzzle your muzzle."
> 
> Now there's a novel fundraising idea! Talk about lifting up morale


LMAO  :rofl: :rofl:
The CADPAT idea is kind of novel though  LMAO

MM...people aren't that naive are they 

HL


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## medicineman (14 Jun 2006)

Hot Lips said:
			
		

> MM...people aren't that naive are they
> 
> HL



Oh yes they are...

MM


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## Danjanou (14 Jun 2006)

zipperhead_cop said:
			
		

> :rofl:
> 
> You, sir, must have some unfortunately shaped "Large Marge's" in your unit.



He said "the" Carl G not "Carl G", as in the infamous Cpl Gustaf. 

Of course if the half the stories about the most infamous swordsmen in NATO are true then he alone is responsible for the sudden increase in this valuable military piece of kit. 8)


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## AJC (14 Jun 2006)

One for One exchange?


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## a_majoor (15 Jun 2006)

AJC said:
			
		

> One for One exchange?



OK sport, you handle the "empties"  ;D ;D ;D


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## Hot Lips (15 Jun 2006)

Kat Stevens said:
			
		

> Yes, they have "made in Canada" on one side of the wrapper, and "size S" on the other.


  :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
I have nothing to say about that, as I can not stop laughing my ass off  

HL


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## Hot Lips (15 Jun 2006)

Okay does anyone else see a theme here...

We have LAVs rocking...we have a story about prophylactic use and now...

We have a Operation Mountain Thrust...

Dear Lord if you put all of that together a certain image starts to ensue...

LMAO

HL


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## Old Sweat (15 Jun 2006)

Tinfoil hats will be worn.


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## George Wallace (15 Jun 2006)

Hot Lips said:
			
		

> Okay does anyone else see a theme here...
> 
> We have LAVs rocking...we have a story about prophylactic use and now...
> 
> ...



Wait 'till you hear the Code Word to end the Operation:    HOOF HEARTED

 ;D


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## medicineman (15 Jun 2006)

Op Mountain Thrust - sounds like something that should be in the Afghan Kama Sutra instead of a COIN op.

MM


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## Pea (15 Jun 2006)

George Wallace said:
			
		

> Wait 'till you hear the Code Word to end the Operation:    HOOF HEARTED
> 
> ;D



Now we REALLY need Heath & Jake as Poster Boys!


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## medicineman (15 Jun 2006)

Pea said:
			
		

> Now we REALLY need Heath & Jake as Poster Boys!



EWWWWWWWWWWW - no pun intended.

Well not really.

Much.

MM


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## George Wallace (15 Jun 2006)

OK!

So the Radio message will go out something like this:


"Charlie Charlie One, this is Zero; HOOF HEARTED, Over."

"One, HOOF HEARTED, Over."

"Two, HOOF HEARTED, Over."

"Three, HOOF HEARTED, Over."

"Tango Four Three, HOOF Hearted, Over."

"Zero, HOOF HEARTED, Out."



(I suppose you have to read it aloud and as fast as you can......so as not to have Brokeback visions.......more along the lines of Blazing Saddles.)


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## Pea (15 Jun 2006)

George Wallace said:
			
		

> (I suppose you have to read it aloud and as fast as you can......*so as not to have Brokeback visions*.......more along the lines of Blazing Saddles.)



So there *WON'T* be a Heath & Jake appearance? Ah man, way to get a girl down!


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## Hot Lips (15 Jun 2006)

medicineman said:
			
		

> Op Mountain Thrust - sounds like something that should be in the Afghan Kama Sutra instead of a COIN op.
> 
> MM


 Well I guess I am not the only one who found this amusing...teeheehee
Hoof hearted...say that five times fast and then tell me you aren't rotfl... ;D

HL


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## 17thRecceSgt (15 Jun 2006)

Watch for the next operation in Iraq to be named 

"Operation Desert Lust"

 :rofl:

Lots of media reports of "penetrating the enemy lines" and stuff


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## medicineman (15 Jun 2006)

Some in and out raids too if I recall...

MM


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## Pea (15 Jun 2006)

medicineman said:
			
		

> Some in and out raids too if I recall...
> 
> MM


 > ...... :rofl:


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## zipperhead_cop (15 Jun 2006)

The follow up attack plan is a lateral province sweep in the form of a flanking maneuver called "Savage Reach Around".  Oh, crap!  Sorry about the OpSec!


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## medicineman (15 Jun 2006)

Woohoo - finally get one!!

MM


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## a_majoor (16 Jun 2006)

Don't forget the CIA will warn about "Blowback" as a result of Operation Mountain Trust..........


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## TCBF (16 Jun 2006)

Kids today... I just don't know...


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## Hot Lips (16 Jun 2006)

zipperhead_cop said:
			
		

> The follow up attack plan is a lateral province sweep in the form of a flanking maneuver called "Savage Reach Around".  Oh, crap!  Sorry about the OpSec!


 :rofl:

HL


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## Hockeycaper (16 Jun 2006)

This is all interesting... I just hope we don't go off prematurely.... So we should  try and do this together..you know a co-ordinated attack with one goal in mind.


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## Franko (16 Jun 2006)

Mud Recce Man said:
			
		

> Bottom line, I just think they had nothing else to report on that day so they had to have SOMETHING for people to talk about.
> 
> Whats next?
> 
> "Canadian soldiers use babywipes" or ......



Well this is one is already going down the toilet so I'll weigh in here with this gem.    ;D

Reference baby wipes....the US Ops O in a FOB in Afghanistan actually locked the bathrooms, because troops were clogging the toilets with them.

He thought it was a good way to punnish the troops    :

Some of the US troops thought that it was us....and figured that it wasn't after we left, because it kept happening.

Regards


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## 17thRecceSgt (16 Jun 2006)

LOL nice.  Did they give you some nice clear plastic ziplock bags to use then?   :blotto:


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## Franko (16 Jun 2006)

Nope. Gave us some rockets...which were full in 2 days and they couldn't be emptied.

Next step was for burn barrels ala Tour of Duty style.

Regards


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## 17thRecceSgt (16 Jun 2006)

Did the Stones theme song come with those?


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## vonGarvin (16 Jun 2006)

True Story
When I was mortar platoon commander, I was responsible on one exercise for all the BG fireplanning (The BC didn't show up to play).  So, my fireplans, Target Series and Target Groups were all given nick names.  On the final day before ENDEX, they were, as follows
GRAVY STROKE
PEARL NECKLACE
SHUDDER DOWN
They were all two non-descript words, not involving colours or proper nouns, put together completely at random.  Previous nick names followed themes such as 
ROLLING STONE
MIDNIGHT RAMBLER
HONKY TONK

Yes, I got away with it


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## 17thRecceSgt (16 Jun 2006)

LMAO

True Story?  K here's mine.

I was given the 2nd duty of Sqn Sig's Sgt once...about 3 hours before H Hour.  OC Recce needed codewords, nicknames etc etc for CEOI purposes.  So, I made up some.  Day 1 of the Ex, everything was fine.

Day 2, we were doing the withdrawl in contact.  It was then discovered the codeword for Break Clean/Contact was...

Farty Pants.

"All stations 4, this is 4...Farty Pants over...

"41..(snickering) Farty Pants"
"42...(laughter now when the C/C is talking) Farty Pants"
"43 LOUD AND CLEAR FARTY PANTS OVER"...

Yes, I got reemed by SSM Recce.  Yes he laughed.

No, I was never tasked as Acting Sqn Sig's Sgt again.


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## vonGarvin (16 Jun 2006)

vonGarvin said:
			
		

> True Story
> When I was mortar platoon commander, I was responsible on one exercise for all the BG fireplanning (The BC didn't show up to play).  So, my fireplans, Target Series and Target Groups were all given nick names.  On the final day before ENDEX, they were, as follows
> GRAVY STROKE
> PEARL NECKLACE
> SHUDDER DOWN


Actually, SHUDDER down wasn't it. I think it was "MONEY SHOT" or something like that


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## zipperhead_cop (16 Jun 2006)

When we were in Gagetown for our Phase Two, there was this Franco kid that kept failing his Platoon leading and was being ram rodded through anyway.  So we all had to take turns doing extra section attacks for him.  
As part of his orders, he indicated that if he wanted us to execute a left flank attack, he would call out "Mommy", and for right flanking, "Daddy".  What could go wrong with that, right?  
Of course, when it came down to shooting, and this guy is screaming "MOMMY, MOMMY", and everyone is confirming orders, also shouting "MOMMY, MOMMY", I was simply crying myself ill with laughter behind my C-9 on the support point.  Got a red chit for not taking training seriously enough, but it was so worth it.  I still can't get through that story without laughing.


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## 17thRecceSgt (16 Jun 2006)

:rofl:


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