# Military spouse just called it quits



## SonaSonic (11 May 2014)

Hi all,

I'm hoping I can get some support from everyone here, including military spouses.

My spouse (engaged for 5 months, together for 4 years) just told me she's breaking up with me but *might* be back at the end of June when she's graduated from school and has a clearer head for what she wants to do.

She said this started when I went on PLQ last summer: she said me being away for 11 weeks and only coming home on weekends really made her question whether she wanted to be a military spouse.  She had no trouble finding things to do, but obviously me being away for such long periods of time and only coming back for short periods of time hurt her and made her question whether that's the life she wanted.

Right after my PLQ she started a full time school program which is done at the end of June.  And there have been the constant budget questions and uncertainty about what the military will do or not do.  So needless to say it wasn't an easy year for us, but I thought we were *so close* to being over this hurdle in our lives and being able to move on.

She's studying a profession where she *could* have the opportunity to travel, change cities, and so on.  That's a good fit for being with a guy who's in the army, but I guess she thought being with me was limiting where she could live and what she could do.

A few questions:

Is there any spouses/serving women/anyone else who can provide some insight into what she might be feeling and how she can be helped?

How can I/should I bring this up at work?  On the one hand, I want to be up front with my fellow employees (I'm a Clerk and we're all Cpls or MCpls) and lean on them for support.  On the other hand, I don't want this to equate to bringing "drama" into the workplace, especially if we get back together and they see her at future functions.

Thank you for all your help.


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## SonaSonic (11 May 2014)

Also, just to be clear, while there are a million things going through my head right now, I *am* safe and have contacted Health Services to speak to their counselors as soon as possible.


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## Scoobie Newbie (11 May 2014)

Better to find out now then 3 yrs down the road when your more legally entrenched


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## PuckChaser (11 May 2014)

Sheep Dog AT said:
			
		

> Better to find out now then 3 yrs down the road when your more legally entrenched



Or on deployment.

Its going to suck now, but just know there's a nice shiny light at the end of the tunnel. Use your friends at work for support, I'm sure you have a peer that you're close to that you can level with and get those friendly words of encouragement.


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## Eye In The Sky (12 May 2014)

Every day you spend with the wrong person (no matter how strongly you feel for them...) is another day you aren't looking for and available to the right person.

 :2c:


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## daftandbarmy (12 May 2014)

Eye In The Sky said:
			
		

> Every day you spend with the wrong person (no matter how strongly you feel for them...) is another day you aren't looking for and available to the right person.
> 
> :2c:



The other option, of course, is to quit the CF. 

I know people who have done both.


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## SonaSonic (13 Jun 2014)

Just to check in again here, I appreciate everyone's supportive words and encouragement. No change, although we're much more clear on where we stand and her reasons for calling it quits.


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