# Craziest stunts ever pulled on new guys



## Franko (14 Feb 2004)

So what kind of stunts/tricks have you pulled on the "new" guy that came to your troop/ platoon/ battery?

Please explain in detail if possible for those out there who aren‘t in the Forces so they can share in the joke.

Regards


----------



## Franko (14 Feb 2004)

I‘ll get things started:

Got a new guy to go and see the SQ for a box of "grid squares" for the maps. He came back with a box filled up with cut up grid squares from a map.....

Got a new guy to clean up the laser dots on the IMR floor...he couldn‘t find one   

Regards


----------



## sgtdixon (14 Feb 2004)

FTX, Im the new guy, i stepped into what i didnt know was a snare, what seemed like 3 seconds later im Hanging between two trees by my feet about 15 feet offa the ground...
So began the tit for tat pranks of my cadet career, the never once affected performance on the Drill Square or the classroom, they were for the bush and bush only.


----------



## Garry (14 Feb 2004)

Not really a new guy trick, but the Air Force had a great tradition of messing around with guys at their stag party‘s...which were usually held the night before their wedding. 

One guy in Trenton (big Air Transport base) didn‘t ask why his stag was moved from the evening to the afternoon. He should have. He was plied with liquor (big surprise) and by supper time he was pretty much out of business. He slept. When he awoke, it was just as the Hercules he was riding in touched down...at Thule, Greenland!

Needless to say, he was just a little concerned.. however, he was able to "arrange" transport on another Herc which just happened to be leaving Thule for Trenton shortly after he arrived. (The other Herc on the ground was aware of his situation, carefull checks of the weather had been made before, and a "risk assesment" cleared the Operation!)

Buddy made it back to Trenton (just) in time, and a good laugh was had by all the rest of us as we partied in the Mess while he flew to Thule.

.................................................

Another good one was to Eugene "X". We were over in germany and got a killer deal at canex on Seiko divers watches- there must have been 15 of us bought them. (This was at the time when the Military had gone through three or four different types of watches for supply). Got back, and one of the guys saw the QM Cpl "Dave" wearing the Seiko. "Nice watch" he said. "Yup, in the system now, can ya believe it?" replied Dave. Of course, Eugene didn‘t believe Dave...who promptly went around telling all the rest of us what he‘d done. I was the third or fourth Seiko owner that Eugene queried, and when I (like all the rest) said, yes, got it from supply, can you believe it!! he was hooked. Over went Eugene to supply to get his new Seiko. Of course, he had to turn his old one in....and unfortunately it was still running. He near lost it when the Dave said "sorry Eugene, I can‘t give you a new watch as this ones still working"...got even worse when the SQMS (in on the scam) came in and said "and your watch had better not break suddenly either".

Good to watch poor Eugene lose his mind over a shiny new watch...LOL

................................................

I‘ve also had a brand new Lt stand at attention as the WO and I (Tp Cpl at the time) argued over me not wanting to sign a loan card for the issue (to me) of "one x troop leader, sin #...." and in the fwiw file, the same LT ended up being a fine Regimental CO...  

Cheers-Garry


----------



## Garry (14 Feb 2004)

Franko, re laser dots- got a bunch of the old "bingo markers" one time- remember them, small, round, red plastic things....spread them all around the imr targets once, got the pcf gunners (just of tq3) to retrieve them during the breaks to re-load the lasers...not one Tpr even questioned us...LOL


----------



## Franko (15 Feb 2004)

I must remember that one for when the new guys come in.

Regards


----------



## Spanky (15 Feb 2004)

A number of years ago, I was SQ A Sqn at Meaford.  A new trooper was sent to me for 200m of contour line.  I was fresh out so I sent the trooper to SQ B, who sent her to SQ C, who sent her to the kitchen, who sent her to the RQ.  She returned after 3or4 hours with a piece of talc cut into a square marked "grid", and asked if it would do.  Seems the RQ was out as well.


----------



## Slim (15 Feb 2004)

I seem to remember Vince Rice and I taking a bunch of new people out to hunt for "Wild Balony". Don‘t remember the outcome though...

Slim


----------



## L/MCpl_Argyll_ Kurrgan (15 Feb 2004)

I had just finished my QL2 course and was in line at the RQ to get a few more piece‘s of kit before going to MEaford to do my QL3 Inf.  I‘ve seen just about ever prank pulled on my course.  Go to RQ and get 200m of shoreline, grenade cleaning kit etc.  Anyhoo...infront of me was an EVEN newer guy who was going to Meaford for his QL2.  So I asked him what he was in line for.  He told me.  Mag pouches and such.  Pretty standard really.  So my buddy asked him if he had his combat umbrella.  He gave us a funny look.  So I explained to him that the combat umbrella was made of Kevalar and was used for overhead protection from airburst artillery and small arms fire.  It also cammed up as a tree in the defencive so you could put it over your trench.  He said he hadn‘t gotten it yet.  So I told him that he had better get his Umbrella because it is one of the most important pieces of kit to have.  So he goes into the RQ before my buddy and I and asks for the standard pieces of equipment he needed and a combat umbrella.  Well the PPCLI Corporal that worked in there‘s nick name was "ANGRY" Nick because he infact was always angry and screaming at people that came into the RQ.  This was no exception.  Nick TORE into this kid to the point he was crying.  I was crying aswell.  But not tears of fear.  Tears of laughter.  That is one of the first pranks I pulled on a new guy.


----------



## nex (15 Feb 2004)

while on the range they sent one of the guys on our course to the sgt to get a "brass magnet" .. definitely worth a laugh.  Poor kid had no idea what he was walking himself into.


----------



## Pikache (15 Feb 2004)

First time a noob walks into the JR‘s mess, we tell them that they have to ring the bell.

Some do fall for it.


----------



## D-n-A (15 Feb 2004)

> Originally posted by RoyalHighlandFusilier:
> [qb] First time a noob walks into the JR‘s mess, we tell them that they have to ring the bell.
> 
> Some do fall for it. [/qb]


hahaha

do they end up buying a round, or they get off cause their new an know nothing?


----------



## Yllw_Ninja (16 Feb 2004)

*pays special attention to this thread so i know what to look for when i‘m in the military*


----------



## GerryCan (16 Feb 2004)

One of the funniest one‘s I‘ve heard of is the Tanker‘s ‘Hull Integrity Test‘ I‘m sure Franko could elaborate on it for everyone


----------



## Sh0rtbUs (16 Feb 2004)

> Originally posted by dominas:
> [qb] while on the range they sent one of the guys on our course to the sgt to get a "brass magnet" .. definitely worth a laugh.  Poor kid had no idea what he was walking himself into. [/qb]


Care to clarify? I may want to use some of these...  :evil:


----------



## Jeff Boomhouwer (16 Feb 2004)

Winter indoc for the new guys. Be sure to take your sleeping kit outside and shake it so the snow snakes fall out, and be sure to look out for tree bears.(racoons).


----------



## Pikache (16 Feb 2004)

> Originally posted by D-n-A:
> [qb]
> 
> 
> ...


We usually feel sorry for the noob.
He ends up paying up during Men‘s XMas dinner, if you know what I mean.


----------



## andrewvalentine83 (16 Feb 2004)

The 3 man lift:  Get one of the bigger guys to claim he can lift 3 new guys at once, then have everyone start arguing and making bets("yeah, he can do it", "no way, he‘s full of sh!t")  Get the new guys to lie next to each other on the floor, the two outside guys with their heads by the inside guy‘s feet, all holding onto each other.  Buddy who said he could lift them grabs the middle guy by his belt, then count down 3...2...1... and everyone pours their beer all over them.  The only problem is it‘s a terrible waste of beer.


----------



## kurokaze (16 Feb 2004)

> Originally posted by Infantry Soldier:
> [qb] The 3 man lift:  Get one of the bigger guys to claim he can lift 3 new guys at once, then have everyone start arguing and making bets("yeah, he can do it", "no way, he‘s full of sh!t")  Get the new guys to lie next to each other on the floor, the two outside guys with their heads by the inside guy‘s feet, all holding onto each other.  Buddy who said he could lift them grabs the middle guy by his belt, then count down 3...2...1... and everyone pours their beer all over them.  The only problem is it‘s a terrible waste of beer. [/qb]


Hey that‘s our trick also.  Except we try to not waste beer and pour pitchers of water instead    

Also for new officers they have to hang upside down from a suspended wagon wheel in the officer‘s mess and drink a beer.  NOT FUN after having just eaten dinner I‘ll tell you that!


----------



## Tpr.Orange (16 Feb 2004)

Lol still a good excuse


Another good oone that i hear about was the Frozen Pipe trick...(note this only works in the winter)


This prank is preformed by informing your troop that a random pipe you have spotted is frozen. You then inform your troop that the pipe carries the water to your bunks and that you need them to thaw it out my holding the pipe and blowing on it... 

Wait about 15 minutes come check on the troops and see how there doing... If you have more than a couple of troops you can switch them to another group or if the pipe is long enough you can have them all doing it at once!


----------



## Freight_Train (16 Feb 2004)

This is football related but goes with the theme.  Every year a team I used to play with has an alumni celebration.  This of course, consists of drinking copious amounts of beer.  What happens is chairs are arranged as if the people sitting in them occupied various positions in a bomber during a WW 2 raid on Germany.  As the skit goes on, various positions are eliminated until only a new alumni, one of the engines, catches on fire and is doused with beer.  Again a terrible waste of beer, but by then everyone is usually sufficiently soused by then anyway.


----------



## Benoit (16 Feb 2004)

I faintly Remember my Dad telling a bunch of his friends over some beer, of a time when he took some reserves from ontario out on a training ex with his platoon of the royal newfoundland regiment. Anyhow at the brief Befor setting out Dad speaks up "Now guys I know most of ye are new to the Rock (newfoundland) so b4 we heads out I just want to tell ye guys from the mainland that dont know already, Just watch out for the saltwater moose, it‘s maiting season around these parts now so the slatwater moose tends to get very disturbed if we come to close to them".Anyways about 2 hours into the ex one pte speaks up (dad said you could tell there was something bothering him the whole time because he never left his side), " sgt ummm u dont think were bothering the saltwater moose around here do ya". Well all the newfies just about lost it haha. Wish I was there.


----------



## dano (17 Feb 2004)

> Originally posted by dominas:
> [qb] while on the range they sent one of the guys on our course to the sgt to get a "brass magnet" .. definitely worth a laugh.  Poor kid had no idea what he was walking himself into. [/qb]


Do you mean Brass Parade? Where the guy has to pick up ALL the empty casings.


----------



## 1feral1 (17 Feb 2004)

Two things stand out in my mind since I enlisted in the Australian Army. So at that time, being new to the Army and the country, the Diggers enjoy as they say here "taking the pi$$ out of you". 

On my 1st posting to 103 Fd Wksp, GE PL, (I was fresh off the boat from Canada) we went out bush and were chucking M26 Frags, so before the Rge Prac started, this young LT said to me "SGT Allen why don‘t ya go up to the tower and see if you can see any roos?" I knew something was up.....

I went up the tower, but up the stairs was this huge **** - off spider in this giant web literally blocking the path! I hestitated momentairily, then kicked my way thru the web, squishing this huge hand sized spider on my way up. As I turned around a group of say 40 men clapped and cheered, and said in Aussie fashion, "good on ya Sarge". Needless to say, I was accepted.

Secondly, on my 2nd posting to 5CSSB Wksp Coy, GE PL we were out at Gan-Gan, in the bush, when I returned to the tent RAEME OPS ‘office‘. There was about 10 Diggers hanging around, and looking a bit guilty of something. As I entered they followed, and as I pulled my folding metal chair out to sit from uder the folding table, there in front of me was a freshly killed King Brown Snake (deadly as ****), about 6ft long, and all curled up looking like it was alive, but its head was hanging by a thread.

So, without hesitiation, I picked it up, and said "a King Brown, anyone got a camera"?

Well, a few Diggers began to snap some pics, and to this day, I have that pic too. Again I was accepted into the fold in this new unit.

Now in my 3rd posting, I have yet to have something like this happen. Being RAEME and in the system for going on 10yrs, I am known in the Corps now and some call me the ‘Mad Canuck‘, or "Hey Canada". Although I have had my Aussie citizenship for 7 yrs now, I do consider myself Australian, but I never forget my roots, and where I come from. Every 01 Jul, we go down to the VC Pub in North Sydney, and celebrate Canada Day with other Ex-Pats.  

Mind you I still have to put up with a tonne of shyte at at times (politics), but I rarely have to use my rank, as we are men, and professional soldiers and get along well most of the time.


Cheers and beers,

Wes


----------



## Spr.Earl (17 Feb 2004)

Snow snake‘s !!   

Winter Indoc. alway‘s remember to inform and alert other‘s when snow snake track‘s are seen in the snow.


----------

