# Sky Hooks and Shore Line



## LineJumper

I know as a rookie signalman I've been sent on pointless errands. What are good April Fool Pranks within fair guide lines these days?


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## LineJumper

Oh, 'tried with success' is a fail due to being caught, yet allowing the act to catch others.


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## Monsoon

Well, the Sky Hook is the recovery system for the ScanEagle UAV and a shore line is a communications cable connecting a ship to the jetty while alongside, so I'd say reality is catching up to April fools' day.


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## LineJumper

I guess I forgot that Army.ca isn't just army.....


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## rmc_wannabe

I sent one guy out to grab an OSPF table from stores. Any computer geeks would know I was sending him after a unicorn, but this guy thought the anykey was an actual key. I think it was said new guy about arguing 15 minutes with the Supply Tech that made me let him in on the joke.


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## LineJumper

:rofl:

That's the spirit!


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## Jammer

Oi!
You there...go get the keys for the Pde Square.

(kit check before deploying to Kabul 2003) Where's your BFA? It's on the kit list!!!!


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## helpup

I just put this in another thread but will post here as well.  

Send young pup out for cleaner/solvent/lubricant.............. do one of two ways. 
1. a never find it quest, where they are re-directed all over.

2.a need all these protective measures to use the product.

That product's name is always verbally given untill the last moment if they cant find it or such.  

It is called I-D-10-T or IDIOT

a Few more

Tapping the Lav with a hammer for hull integrity test is another one
Spark plugs for the ML/ LAV
BFA for the 25mm
Blank rounds for the Carl G/M72
Cadpat paint

to name a few there are many others


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## Nfld Sapper

Don't forget the box of grid squares.......


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## Bzzliteyr

I fell for the whole "frequency oil" trick when I was a young whipper snapper.. 

Of course, in my defence, I was an english kid in a french unit and thought maybe there was a translation issue.. 

I walked around WTP for a good hour or so, visited every QM and eventually visiting CP 0 where a kind Captain told me I might have had my leg pulled.

And it wasn't even April Fool's day!!


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## helpup

A box of pogo points for putting on the maps
going to CQ so you can get a GIB for the LAV/Coyote  ( guy in back)


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## rmc_wannabe

Or the 100 ft whip for the man pack. That confused the hell out of me on my first day.  :blotto:


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## PuckChaser

I always liked sending new guys on a search to VM for a Bison reverse light....


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## Nfld Sapper

Bottles of Drive........


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## Rifleman62

Ask the RSM for a blank file spacer.


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## davidk

Be careful not to trip over the contour lines.


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## Kat Stevens

Tuning leopard/APC track by tapping end connectors with a hammer to hear the pitch.
"Go get some blinker fluid for the AVLBs"
"Get a can of squelch from the sigs guy, and don't let him tell you there's no such thing, they just hate giving it out."
I got caught with "get a BFA for Carl Gustav, and don't come back without one."  I wandered around for 4 hours until a kindly gun plumber took pity on me and told me it didn't exist, so I went back to my room.  My sect commander was ready to chew me a new one, but I told him what I was told to do, and that I didn't come back without it, so I was following orders.  That was the beginning of my reputation as having a "BA".


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## Rigger052

Karma struck me pretty hard as I was told to go get teflon tape from the QM. Not knowing anything about plumbing or the like I refused, even arguing that "if nothing sticks to teflon, how can they make tape out of it?!?" Was my face red when the storesman pulled out a roll of teflon tape and gave it to the now grinning Cpl in charge of me, I shouldn't have bet him a beer over it.  

  I once convinced a student to get 100M of coast-line which was specially treated metallic rope that resisted rust and was designed for use in areas with a high salt content in the air (hence COAST line). Don't know how I said it with a straight face but the student belived me. The resulting chewing out I got from the Line stores QM was worth it.  ;D


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## chrisf

During an SQ course, post-grenade range, one student was sent from instructor to instructor looking for the grenade cleaning kit...

Another troop was sent (for several days) searching the training area for frequency oil a few years back... we all had a great laugh, found out several years later she'd just go out of sight and disapear into the bushes for several hours before returning empty handed...

Personally, spent some time jumping up and down on the back deck of an ML to check the shocks.

Can't believe there's been no mention of the infamous brass magnet yet.


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## brihard

Kat Stevens said:
			
		

> I got caught with "get a BFA for Carl Gustav, and don't come back without one."



A sharp QM will send the new guy back with the lid to a green jerrycan and the message that you owe him (the QM) a beer.


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## WrenchBender

Send them to get the 'Chemlight Batteries'....

WrenchBender


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## OldSolduer

I'm still looking for that bucket of prop wash.....anyone know where I can find it?


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## Burrows

Here you go.


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## OldSolduer

Kyle Burrows said:
			
		

> Here you go.



thank you...thank you very much!!


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## Mojo Magnum

I've still got Pte's looking for the halogen fluid for his headlamp,  the wood welder with the box of spot welds to hold the mast together


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## toughenough

Filling the second criteria of crazy safety precautions...

Some of the guys from my unit told an SQ candidate they needed night vision fluid. They radio'd up to someone in HQ, who said to give him five mins. The candidate returned with a water bottle half full of fluid from a glow stick, wearing the gloves for razor wire, and some type of goggles. They also informed him that he must hold it straight out from his body, because it's very volatile and corrosive, and you don't want it on you.

Apparently the sight of this guy bumping around in the dark, tripping in tank ruts, with the glowing bottles outstretched at 9 and 3 was a great moral boost...for the staff anyway.


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## SeanNewman

I'm all for pranks and jokingly making fun of people so I don't want to sound like the party pooper, but I'm not really a fan of humiliating people outside of the team environment.  

Due to past experience, I would suggest that if you're going to prank a poor new guy, keep it in the platoon or at most the company.

IE, having him ask the CQ for a role of contour line or the platoon commander if he needs his sword polished is one thing, but perhapes it's a bit too much to have him involving people like the RSM.


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## Danjanou

The RSM has a sense of humour...... honest go ask him >

Other oldies but goodies.... BFA for the mortar and a pull through for the M-72. Mind both of those may qualify for the you're over the hill thread t. :-[


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## Rifleman62

What's the weight of a pull through?


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## Kat Stevens

Rifleman62 said:
			
		

> What's the weight of a pull through?



It's the little brass thingy on the end.


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## gaspasser

"Go to POL and get me a litre of indicator fluid"
"I need a 100 feet of flight line"
"White paint to identify the snowdump"
"N/S giggly pin to the laughter shaft"
"Crome plated muffler bearing"

Hee hee..
BYTD


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## 211RadOp

Kat Stevens said:
			
		

> It's the little brass thingy on the end.



The non-sloted brass thingy on the end.


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## radtech227

All requests should come from a Sgt Greenleaf, Go to the Sigs and ask for a box of frequencies.  Tell them Sgt Greenleaf sent you.


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## George Wallace

radtech227 said:
			
		

> All requests should come from a Sgt Greenleaf, Go to the Sigs and ask for a box of frequencies.  Tell them Sgt Greenleaf sent you.



Did you want some grease with those Freqs?  

What did you do with the Ground Plane?


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## George Wallace

Have you sent anyone off to Sig Stores for some Harmonics?


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## Steel Badger

One of the best I can recall is a fellow being sent to the MIR in Connaught for 100 Feet of Fallopian Tubing.


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## a_majoor

I remember seeing a new guy sent to the QM to get a "communications net". He wandered off to QM, and the Q, without missing a beat, pulled out a 638 card to sign and gave him a laundry bag.

When he came back with the item, the MCpl was very apologetic and told the new guy that he meant a "high frequency communications net".

The Q was a bit less pleased the second time, and we found out (via the Sergeant Major) in no uncertain terms....


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## George Wallace

Thucydides said:
			
		

> I remember seeing a new guy sent to the QM to get a "communications net". He wandered off to QM, and the Q, without missing a beat, pulled out a 638 card to sign and gave him a laundry bag.
> 
> When he came back with the item, the MCpl was very apologetic and told the new guy that he meant a "high frequency communications net".
> 
> The Q was a bit less pleased the second time, and we found out (via the Sergeant Major) in no uncertain terms....



The MCpl should have known better.  Instead of HF, he should have sent him off to get a VHF net.    ;D


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## mike63

When I was a young Cook in Cold Lake in the early 80s, I was once sent to all the other messhalls looking for a 'bucket of steam' to clean the pot room!
I was once sent to QM to get a 'salami sock' and 'sausage skin' to put the ground sausage meat into!
I was once sent up the the Missile Range (which was 45 mins away!) to get a 'rice crispy square mold', which by the way is just a freaking large cookie tray of which we had TONS of in my kitchen.
I was once sent to the Officers Mess for a donut hole press!

Yeah I was young and only wanted to please...


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## TruckerJeff

check the air pressure on the road wheels
go get a tube for the cayote tire


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## OldSolduer

George Wallace said:
			
		

> Have you sent anyone off to Sig Stores for some Harmonics?





			
				Le Adder Noir said:
			
		

> One of the best I can recall is a fellow being sent to the MIR in Connaught for 100 Feet of Fallopian Tubing.



Too funny!! Fallopian Tubing and Harmonics..... ;D


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## Oldgateboatdriver

Amazing we made it this far without any one mentioning: "Go get  a box of radar contacts" 

Or at night: "There's a running light on the Port side: go get a mop and clean it up".


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## REDinstaller

Nothing like pulling up the floorboards on an M109. Or checking how hot the oven is on a 106 set.


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## armyvern

- Key to the Parade Square;

- Back-up lights for the MLVW Trailor;

- Can of camoulflage paint;

But, the best one that I was there for was sending someone over to "get" an actually existing item: The RSMs pace stick.  8)


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## armyvern

Thucydides said:
			
		

> He wandered off to QM, and the Q, without missing a beat, pulled out a 638 card to sign and gave him a laundry bag.



Must put this into my archive ... I've already had one such request at my new place of work, but just laughed at him and said "new guy eh?" Sent him back to his boss with a "they say I need to send in a TSR for that item."


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## REDinstaller

A box of routing indicators


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## trigger324

Here's one from the navy angle: I include some definitions for those who might not get the lingo.


Buffer: Nickname for the Chief Boatswain's Mate (the senior Bosn on oboard, quite often a crusty old CPO2)
RAS: Replenishment at Sea
Window: the time during the daily schedule in which we had left open to refuel, as soon as the tanker and ourselves rv'd.


We got our brand new Ordinary Seaman to go ask the Buffer for the wiper blade for the RAS window...


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## agc

While working quietly in the pay office, and OD who I had never met before sticks his head in the door and demands 3 buckets of prop wash.

I told him to check with the boys in 13 mess (there is no 13 mess on a CPF).

He came back a few minutes later and was really upset with me.

Him:  There is no 13 mess!

Me:  What are you talking about?  It's just back there!

Leaves and comes back again.

Him:  I'm never talking to you again!

Me:  See that you don't.


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## BernDawg

While on ex in Wainwright one year (long ago) we had some new Pte's in the Pl.  One of them had a degree in Philosophy (or something equally useless) and was constantly bringing it up.  Upon one fateful maintenance day his det dvr sent him to our MRT (1.6 Km away) to get some spark plugs for the M113.  Eager to please he trotted off to the BN maint lines to find our mech.  He returned about a 1/2 hr later and told us that our mech wanted to know if we needed right or left hand thread sparkplugs.  "Left hand, of course!"  and off he went again.  When next he returned he informed us that the Bn was "all out" of left hand thread spark-plugs.  At that point we let him in on it.  As it turned out he was a pretty good sport about it and it became sort of a turning point for him.
The Moral?  Sometimes pranks like this have value beside comic relief.

One of my personal faves is to prat fall while on patrol and tell the guy behind you to "look out for the contour line!".


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## REDinstaller

Way too funny. Just like a left handed adjustable wrench


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## Fishbone Jones

Tango18A said:
			
		

> Way too funny. Just like a left handed adjustable wrench



Metric or standard?


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## REDinstaller

YES, actually there is new tools out there that do both. Called METRINCH. http://www.metrinch.tv/


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## Fishbone Jones

Actually it was rhetorical. I once sent our driver to the mechs for a left handed adjustable. When she returned, the brand name for the wrench, 'Standard' was written along the handle. Obviously, she was sent back for a Metric one ;D


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## REDinstaller

Nice, I'm sure she enjoyed the PT session. >


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## SeanNewman

recceguy said:
			
		

> Metric or standard?



That is really good.


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## GAP

We sent a newbie from Cau Viet....a day and half trip by LST/Mike Boat to Dong Ha, then, compliments of Bn Supply, on to Da Nang (another day) for frequency grease, because we couldn't get the PRC's to stay on their preset frequencies...... he was pissed....

oh, and can't forget about sending another newbie out to the helicopter pad to wait for the next chopper....he needed to ask them for a 5 gallon pail of prop wash.....


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## REDinstaller

Pull throughs for a 106 Whip. >


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## VIChris

Not military related in my experience, but could work in any shop:

At  a hot rod shop I worked at, we had the young buck looking for hours for a bucket of trailer ball grease. Telling him it was near the pin striping pins didn't help, but when we said it was under the striped paint he clued in. 

Same guy spent a while looking for muffler bearings too.


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## GrilledLincoln

On a recent Winter Indoc training at my unit a few weeks ago we were learning the snowshoes and a few of the Sergeants got some of the denser guys to make sure they didn't have two left or two right snowshoes.


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## George Wallace

GrilledLincoln said:
			
		

> On a recent Winter Indoc training at my unit a few weeks ago we were learning the snowshoes and a few of the Sergeants got some of the denser guys to make sure they didn't have two left or two right snowshoes.



Perhaps these Sgts missed one person.  You do know that there are a Left and Right snowshoe, don't you?  Look at the buckles.  You want to keep your buckles on the outside so as not to get caught or become loosened while walking.   So; YES, there are Left and Right snowshoes and they can be identified by looking at the harness and where the buckles are located when wearing them.


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## GrilledLincoln

hm coulda fooled me    when telling us how to put them on they didn't specify where the buckles should be.  They weren't serious about the left and right they didn't care what yah grabbed since when we got them sent to us (we don't have our own) they just came thrown in a box so that box just went into a MILCOT and than when we got them for the ex there was no sense going for pairs.  I don't recall having buckles on different sides though, are we talking the old snowshoes?


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## George Wallace

The new snowshoes.

It doesn't matter if it was the old or the new snowshoes, as to how to wear the snowshoes.  This may also indicate a lack of experience in outdoors living and winter activities on the part of some of the people involved.  Hint. Hint.


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## GrilledLincoln

I see what you're saying, the only confusing part is the Sergeant who taught me how to rig my snowshoes up, is a Reg Force Sergeant posted into the Reserve Regiment as the OPS Warrant.  Either way i'm misinformed.  Thanks for the info George.


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## toughenough

Oh, that guy? I would think he'd be pretty experienced. They must have been wearing them when patrolling on Op Podium. He's definitely been around a long time.


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## VIChris

On April 1st, I sharpened some 3/32'' stainless fill rods, and swapped them out for the 3/33'' tungstens in my buddy's TIG setup. That was a good go.


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## avgpjon

We always got a chuckle out of sending a rookie Dvr/Stmn over to Transport Stores for the special bulb for the rear license plate light for an MLVW.


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## Jungle

Pre-pumped naphta.


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## Colin Parkinson

Metric screwdriver.


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## krustyrl

Bubble extractor for a compass


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## Tank Troll

So many over the years, one was perpetrate on my by a member of this sight *cough George cough*  On the old Indoor miniature range IMR before we had all these new simulator a laser would fire and hit the general area of the range you were firing at. My Crew Commander for the shoot told me i had to sweep up all the use laser dots after the shoot and to make sure I kept tract of all them because like spent casing the were a counted for. Damn I was gullible back then. C sqn RCD was really bad for them as every one would get involved, here are some that I remember

Talc powdering the track pads 
Greasing the Track to keep it from squeaking
being sent for tokens for the steam jenny
showing up to the SQs and asking for a "long wait"
a Teflon seat adjuster
Cam net patch kit (which they have now)
105 BFA
Tank train tickets
left hand torque wrench
Tank train guard to include getting off and walking up and down line of flat cars at every stop.


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## painswessex

anchor pocket door key on the old steamers.


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## GAP

Frequency grease for the radios

Prop wash (5 gal pails)

Tie stretcher for underground ore cars

Amtrac hooks (for when they get wet, you just hang them up to dry)


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## Old Sweat

A roll of zero line in the 25-pounder days.

A box of new holes for the cam nets.


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## Hawk

Port List


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## cupper

Several fun moments on staff in Aldershot:

After showing a newbie fresh off his TQ1 course how to do a compression test on a 64 pattern jeep, sent him to the tool crib for a can of compression so we could top off the cylinders.

Finding out that it's not a good idea to shut off the fuel valve on the jeep of the RSM's driver, just as he gets a call to pick up the RSM at the BOR. Driver made it from the Maint garage to the corner of the parade square before it stalled.

Sending the TN guys all over camp looking for the jeep that they were driving in.

Pointing out to the smug private know it all that the piston return spring you are asking for is installed in the brake cylinder and performs the function from which it derives it's name.

Requesting the recovery codriver to get a set of snatch block crash pads from the QM.


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## MeatheadMick

I was always a big fan of the 'antenna sharpener' and of course the 'brass magnet'

One of the guys on a certain tour got a certain MWO asking the sig for 'boxes of crypto' and would not budge after finally being told no such thing exists... lol


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## V_I_Lenin

Hah! "Pull-throughs for the 106 whip"...I love it!

Now if only I could find that misplaced box of Routing Indicators...


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## Danjanou

damn it they do exist 

http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/01/awol-private-returns-after-seven-years-with-box-of-grid-squares/

 now to hunt for the elusive BFA for the 81mm mortar.


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## Nfld Sapper

Or the 84mm Recoilless Rifle Carl Gustav....


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## Danjanou

NFLD Sapper said:
			
		

> Or the 84mm Recoilless Rifle Carl Gustav....



Hey Carl and I were partners in the old C2 group commanded by Cpl Herman Nelson.  8)


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## Colin Parkinson

Herman Nelson needed a BFA as well, the thuds of early morning fire missions as Pvt Bloggins starts  warming up the water (Whre they the water heaters or the big heaters, the mind is swimming in a sea of snot right now)


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## Fishbone Jones

Colin P said:
			
		

> Herman Nelson needed a BFA as well, the thuds of early morning fire missions as Pvt Bloggins starts  warming up the water (Whre they the water heaters or the big heaters, the mind is swimming in a sea of snot right now)



You're thinking of fire missions with the immersion heaters.

HN's were the big octopus heaters we plugged into tents.


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## Tank Troll

Immersion heaters/explosion heaters/reveille cannons. All good for losing eyebrows if you don't know what your doing.


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## Danjanou

immersion heaters were a cheap and efficent way to cam up for nighy ops when some numpty forgot to budget cam sticks  for that fiscal year.


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## VIChris

I keep seeing immersion heaters being referred to in the past tense. Are we not supposed to take them to field anymore?


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## Fishbone Jones

VIChris said:
			
		

> I keep seeing immersion heaters being referred to in the past tense. Are we not supposed to take them to field anymore?



No, the past tense is just when most of us used them is all


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## cupper

VIChris said:
			
		

> I keep seeing immersion heaters being referred to in the past tense. Are we not supposed to take them to field anymore?





			
				recceguy said:
			
		

> No, the past tense is just when most of us used them is all



 :rofl: :goodpost:


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