# A Failing of CAF Family Support



## ale267 (9 Mar 2016)

I have had a very indicative experience and just want to share.
I had gotten to a CAP in Gagetown. First day of training my wife called me (from Toronto) and informed she had an accident and crack a bone in her shoulder area. She said me that I don't have to drop the course cause she could handle everything less driving a child to school.
...First day of training, certainly, CO, Padre, OC, 2IC coming with a little speech. The Padre's one - is about a unlimited support in all aspects of the life- just mention. I knew it's just another empty promisses, but Gagetown seemed like serious place where people should report for the words told. I took a chance: asked for an appointment with Padre, asked him if any support available - sure! 32 Bgde! There is a full house of supporters, as per Padre. Let me call them they will organize community and will help your wife out! 
NOTHING happended. Thanks God, my wife got well quick enough. I had made through the course.
Nice experience, will never forget this b*llsh*t, excuse me my English.


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## DAA (9 Mar 2016)

So what are you saying/asking?  That you're disappointed with the CF as a whole because nobody went to the aid of your spouse while you were undergoing your Basic Occupational training?

Did you bother to or did anyone point you in this direction?   https://www.familyforce.ca/sites/AllLocations/EN/About%20Us/Pages/CMFRCs.aspx


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## ale267 (24 Mar 2016)

Did I say I disappointed by whole CF? Those are not my words, but your assumption.
I did not asked for help at the first hand cause I knew it won't happend.
But when official promised you and never get back, nothing happened, what would you say about it? 
Don't you expect people telling/promissing something to respond for their words?
I do. But not from those officials anymore.


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## Bruce Monkhouse (24 Mar 2016)

Did you follow up with something in writing to the Padre???   I'm sure you were not the only thing he may have had on his mind that day........he/she is also a living, breathing human being.


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## Jarnhamar (24 Mar 2016)

If you're new to the military then how are you so sure those promises were empty and you wouldn't be helped?


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## DAA (24 Mar 2016)

ale267 said:
			
		

> Did I say I disappointed by whole CF? Those are not my words, but your assumption.
> I did not asked for help at the first hand cause I knew it won't happend.
> But when official promised you and never get back, nothing happened, what would you say about it?
> Don't you expect people telling/promissing something to respond for their words?
> I do. But not from those officials anymore.



Did you bother to seek assistance here ---->  https://www.familyforce.ca/sites/AllLocations/EN/About%20Us/Pages/CMFRCs.aspx

You mention CAP, which leads me to believe that you are an Officer (2Lt) and a potential future leader in the CF.  Your words speak for themself, you are pissed and you are disappointed in the response you received.

Now go and do something about it!!!


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## Staff Weenie (24 Mar 2016)

Part of me is hoping he's French, and English is a second language, because his writing is atrocious....

If he's going to be an Officer, he should grow up and stop acting like an overly-entitled brat.


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## Bruce Monkhouse (24 Mar 2016)

Staff Weenie said:
			
		

> Part of me is hoping he's French, and English is a second language, because his writing is atrocious....
> 
> If he's going to be an Officer, he should grow up and stop acting like an overly-entitled brat.



[a]I think he is French and [b}why should that only apply to Officers?


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## Lumber (24 Mar 2016)

Staff Weenie said:
			
		

> Part of me is hoping he's French, and English is a second language, because his writing is atrocious....
> 
> If he's going to be an Officer a member of the CAF, he should grow up and stop acting like an overly-entitled brat.



FTFY.

Also:



			
				ale267 said:
			
		

> Nice experience, will never forget this b*llsh*t, *excuse me my English.*


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## BinRat55 (27 Mar 2016)

ale267 said:
			
		

> I have had a very indicative experience and just want to share.
> I had gotten to a CAP in Gagetown. First day of training my wife called me (from Toronto) and informed she had an accident and crack a bone in her shoulder area. She said me that I don't have to drop the course cause she could handle everything less driving a child to school.
> ...First day of training, certainly, CO, Padre, OC, 2IC coming with a little speech. The Padre's one - is about a unlimited support in all aspects of the life- just mention. I knew it's just another empty promisses, but Gagetown seemed like serious place where people should report for the words told. I took a chance: asked for an appointment with Padre, asked him if any support available - sure! 32 Bgde! There is a full house of supporters, as per Padre. Let me call them they will organize community and will help your wife out!
> NOTHING happended. Thanks God, my wife got well quick enough. I had made through the course.
> Nice experience, will never forget this b*llsh*t, excuse me my English.



Firstly, I think you went into it with a closed mind (...I knew it's just another empty promisses,...) and secondly, how are you so sure the Padre never did anything? Maybe 32 dropped the ball? Maybe 32 tried and your wife never responded? Maybe it wasn't so high on the priority list? If the CAF jumped every time a member never had an emergency child care plan, then why would members even HAVE a child care plan?

I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but I think it was summed up best earlier in this thread - you are an officer (or soon will be) you should be setting the example, not complaining randomly... (an "indicative experience I wish to share...")


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## PuckChaser (27 Mar 2016)

I don't think this falls under child care per say, but where's your wife's friends? Where's your friends? Maybe I've got rose coloured glasses from the CAF community, but I've had CAF friends drive to my house at 3am to let my dog out while my wife is in labour, move all my F&E twice for a few slices of pizza and beer, and offer to drive 3 hours away to drop some home cooked food off while a child was in hospital and I was with him. Do civilians not care enough to help drive a friend's kid to school for a few weeks?


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## ale267 (10 Nov 2016)

Bruce Monkhouse said:
			
		

> Did you follow up with something in writing to the Padre???   I'm sure you were not the only thing he may have had on his mind that day........he/she is also a living, breathing human being.



You are right: he had something important to do, rather than deal with THINGS.


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## ale267 (10 Nov 2016)

DAA said:
			
		

> Did you bother to seek assistance here ---->  https://www.familyforce.ca/sites/AllLocations/EN/About%20Us/Pages/CMFRCs.aspx
> 
> You mention CAP, which leads me to believe that you are an Officer (2Lt) and a potential future leader in the CF.  Your words speak for themself, you are pissed and you are disappointed in the response you received.
> 
> Now go and do something about it!!!



I did not bother... I just did not know nothing. When a man with authority tells a word, it means for me this word will be executed. Not this case.


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## ale267 (10 Nov 2016)

Staff Weenie said:
			
		

> Part of me is hoping he's French, and English is a second language, because his writing is atrocious....
> 
> If he's going to be an Officer, he should grow up and stop acting like an overly-entitled brat.


Part of you? Are you talking about Dissociative Identity Disorder? Are you medic? Does my first language mean anything to you?
Or you are trying to expose your expose your psychoanalytical ability to associate a first language to the personality?
Man, this is Op Honor.... Read it.


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## kratz (10 Nov 2016)

After a 7 months delay in replying, you appear to be so bitter, you continue to pick fights over this?

From the start of this topic your choice of words has accused the entire CAF of failing in family support.
Today's comments demonstrate you continue to be bitter, close minded and feel entitled.


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## George Wallace (10 Nov 2016)

ale267 said:
			
		

> I did not bother... I just did not know nothing. When a man with authority tells a word, it means for me this word will be executed. Not this case.



 ???

That is pretty much gibberish.


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## Towards_the_gap (10 Nov 2016)

kratz said:
			
		

> Today's comments demonstrate you continue to be bitter, close minded and feel entitled.



He must be finishing his first tour as a troop/platoon commander


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## ale267 (10 Nov 2016)

BinRat55 said:
			
		

> Firstly, I think you went into it with a closed mind (...I knew it's just another empty promisses,...) and secondly, how are you so sure the Padre never did anything? Maybe 32 dropped the ball? Maybe 32 tried and your wife never responded? Maybe it wasn't so high on the priority list? If the CAF jumped every time a member never had an emergency child care plan, then why would members even HAVE a child care plan?
> 
> I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but I think it was summed up best earlier in this thread - you are an officer (or soon will be) you should be setting the example, not complaining randomly... (an "indicative experience I wish to share...")


Thanks for "advocate" for me, but I have never asked. I assume this is conversation with audience, another show.
It seems to me you guys are going too far. One accused me with dislike of CF, another with first language. What are you looking here?
Crime scene? I may disappoint you, there is no a such.
I said a man with authority should exercise it: saying a word he is responsible for it.
I am a big boy and, thanks God, I have a great wife, who could handle the situation. None called from 32. None get back to me, who promised, with a feedback. I rely on word of authority. But that had meant nothing.
There is always more important than keep a man's word, according to responses.
That's fine with me.


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## ale267 (10 Nov 2016)

PuckChaser said:
			
		

> I don't think this falls under child care per say, but where's your wife's friends? Where's your friends? Maybe I've got rose coloured glasses from the CAF community, but I've had CAF friends drive to my house at 3am to let my dog out while my wife is in labour, move all my F&E twice for a few slices of pizza and beer, and offer to drive 3 hours away to drop some home cooked food off while a child was in hospital and I was with him. Do civilians not care enough to help drive a friend's kid to school for a few weeks?



Apart of ballistic glasses, none, Sir.
Good for you, that you have such friends. Imagine they tell you they will feed your dog and when you back, you find him dead or sick because they have another important things to do than feed him. Civilians? I would say, yes, however they have many other things to do which members might not. Mentality is different.
Our friends work daily. We hired a driver to get child back and forth from school.


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## Fishbone Jones (10 Nov 2016)

ale267,

The only advice I can give, is for you to let this go. You're fixated on this and you're getting buggy with it. Life is too short and your career too important, to let something like this consume you. Let it go and move on. This is not the last you'll see of this sort of thing, if you stay in the military. Things change constantly and, sometimes, very quickly and you'll not always be informed until the last second. Learn to accept it for what it is. What it isn't though, is personal.

Semper Gumby

 :2c:


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## Good2Golf (10 Nov 2016)

ale267 said:
			
		

> Apart of ballistic glasses, none, Sir.
> Good for you, that you have such friends. Imagine they tell you they will feed your dog and when you back, you find him dead or sick because they have another important things to do than feed him. Civilians? I would say, yes, however they have many other things to do which members might not. Mentality is different.
> Our friends work daily. We hired a driver to get child back and forth from school.



Avez-vous passé les points de contact du CRFMT à votre femme, pour qu'elle puisse leur contacter, s'il faut, à l'avenir? 

Le Centre de ressources pour les familles des militaires (CRFM) de Toronto 



> Le Centre de ressources pour les familles des militaires (CRFM) de Toronto est une organisation caritative communautaire sans but lucratif. Notre objectif est de mettre en valeur et de préserver la solidité particulière des familles de la communauté militaire. Nous cherchons à soutenir les familles de manière tangible en fournissant les ressources nécessaires pour favoriser, maintenir et accroître leur qualité de vie pendant leur séjour dans la région du Grand Toronto.
> 
> Comment communiquer avec nous
> Adresse postale : 5 Yukon Lane, Toronto, ON M3K 0A1
> ...



jvep,
G2G


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## ale267 (14 Nov 2016)

recceguy said:
			
		

> ale267,
> 
> The only advice I can give, is for you to let this go. You're fixated on this and you're getting buggy with it. Life is too short and your career too important, to let something like this consume you. Let it go and move on. This is not the last you'll see of this sort of thing, if you stay in the military. Things change constantly and, sometimes, very quickly and you'll not always be informed until the last second. Learn to accept it for what it is. What it isn't though, is personal.
> 
> ...


Thanks for an advise. Honestly, I do not worry too much on that because my expectations where met. In any particular scenario, I guess people within CTC system should really show an example. Code of Value and Ethics is one of the first things that thought in CF. Integrity and accountability are the core elements. "Political" leaders are still the leaders and, as we know, should lead by example. Check box in the attendance form, number of meetings, number of presentations - this is more looks like civilian bureaucratic machine. Too little time, too many people, too much work - nowadays are not an excuse anymore, especially when a commitment is involved. It wasn't too often when I faced a similar approach. Mainly, it happens when a member is unqualified yet then he will be treated accordingly. Is it a part of the official training system? Not an official, I guess. People take such treatment at the early stage of their career and carry it with them through as an accepted norm of behaviour. Is it right? Only mutual support, shoulder-to-shoulder will reinforce Forces at any times. I just missed that point at that time.
Never mind.


[Edit to correct coding for quote.]


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