# convincing parents



## spenco (29 Oct 2004)

Hi, I need some advice, I'm trying to convince my mom to let me join the reg force but she seriously believes that as soon as I leave for basic she'll never see me again and I'll get to Afghanistan and get shot or something.  Can I get some advice on how to convince her to let me join because this is what ive wanted to do for years now.  BTW I have read this thread http://army.ca/forums/threads/13678.0.html  but it dosent seem to be relevant.


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## Slim (29 Oct 2004)

Can you tell us what background your mother is...Sometimes it makes a difference when they're from a part of the world that sees the service in a negative way, or has seen a "less-than-professional" army at work terrorizing the locals where she came from.

Sometimes all it takes is to convince the folks is that the CF is a "good" army, not a pack of thugs.

I had this problem with my (-Domestic's) parents. They thought that CF Int Branch equaled polish secret police! Took some doing but we're past that now (I think)

Cheers

Slim


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## spenco (29 Oct 2004)

She was raised by hippies, that might explain a thing or too.   I dont think its a matter of convinceing her that its a good army but rather that im not going to get killed as soon as i join which is what she seems to think.


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## Spr.Earl (29 Oct 2004)

Spenco,many years ago a friend of mine's mother all of a sudden was on my door step. 
Oh hello Mrs XXXX

She came to me to try and stop him from going over to Egypt(she was a Nurse).
We had a very good chat.
To make a long story short.

I said   "Let him do it if he does not make it he will be home with in a month and if he makes it he will come home a better person and you will have a man for a son.You can't stop him as if you do he will blame you for the rest of his life for a lost chance."

I have had this happen twice to me. 
I pulled no punch's at the time and both men proved me right.


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## Slim (29 Oct 2004)

Sounds like some really solid and down to earth advise. Was she a big enough person to take it?

Slim


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## Spr.Earl (29 Oct 2004)

Yup and after he came home she thanked me for my advice.


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## Great Harveney (29 Oct 2004)

> She was raised by hippies



   LOL im sorry that was soooo funny lol


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## Jarnhamar (29 Oct 2004)

"Hey mom, being an adult I came to a decision for myself. I'm going to join the army and make sure hippies have the right to protest and protect them against terrorists who just don't give a shit what their political beliefs are. I'll see you after my basic training when I come home to tell you all my war stories and beg you to cook me supper because i miss your cooking"


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## white (29 Oct 2004)

what I told my dad when he didn't want me to try and join was that this was the chance to start of a new life, to start a new adventure and to be apart of a team that actually works together and tries to help out in this world instead of been on the side lines saying what everyone is doing wrong. After this he reallized I was going to apply whether he liked it or not so he finally accepted it but I still don't think he wants me going.


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## william (29 Oct 2004)

My mom seems to get on edge when I even talk about joining. I'm not even old enough to join the reserves yet but I've wanted to join since I was a kid. I don't know what she's gonna do when I'm old enough to join the regs.
My dad doesn't want me to join ethier. Hes always askin me why I want to join.
So I've got two parents to deal with. But I think there gonna except that its what I've always wanted to do.
I'm pretty sure they'll let me go.

william


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## EasyCo (29 Oct 2004)

I'm 21, I decided that I'd tell my parents once I had a shipping date.  Not because they'll mind, but because it'll be that much easier for me and them, it'll spare the whole: "You're a bright young man, you have alternatives" speach.


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## white (29 Oct 2004)

EasyCo said:
			
		

> I'm 21, I decided that I'd tell my parents once I had a shipping date. Not because they'll mind, but because it'll be that much easier for me and them, it'll spare the whole: "You're a bright young man, you have alternatives" speach.


That's one way of doing it, I wasn't going to tell my dad but he heard me talking about it to someone over the phone


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## Kampfhamster (29 Oct 2004)

Well, don't tell your parents, it's your own decision. 

When I signed my contract for NCO-school during my mandatory military service, nobody of my family knew anything about. 
I told my dad about it a week after the whole thing was done.


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## Fusaki (29 Oct 2004)

I just drove my parents nuts. They were practically begging the recruiter to take me. >

If thats not an option, you can try this:

Take your folks out to a rememberance day ceremony. If you're finding it hard to be articulate about the reasons you want to join, this might be a good way to get your point across. Alot of the appeal of the military is hard to explain, and even then some people just wont listen. But show them the pride, tradition, sacrifice, and everything else that is embodied by Canadian War Vets. Maybe then they'll start to see your point of view.


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## Da_man (29 Oct 2004)

If she hates the army so much its because she doesnt know it, like most people.


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## spenco (29 Oct 2004)

Thanks for all the replies, I will most certainly try to use those suggestions.




			
				Da_man said:
			
		

> If she hates the army so much its because she doesnt know it, like most people.



Da_man I don't think she hates the army, she just is very uneducated and thinks that as soon as I join I'll get sent to Afghanistan and get killed, this is the main part of her worries.  I know it could happen but she dosent want to listen to me when I tell her the chances of that happening are very, very minute.


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## Alex252 (29 Oct 2004)

Wow kamphmister thats pretty extreme dot you think?


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## Crazy_Eyes (29 Oct 2004)

william said:
			
		

> My mom seems to get on edge when I even talk about joining. I'm not even old enough to join the reserves yet but I've wanted to join since I was a kid. I don't know what she's gonna do when I'm old enough to join the regs.
> My dad doesn't want me to join ethier. Hes always askin me why I want to join.
> So I've got two parents to deal with. But I think there gonna except that its what I've always wanted to do.
> I'm pretty sure they'll let me go.
> ...


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## Blindspot (29 Oct 2004)

Spr.Earl said:
			
		

> Spenco,many years ago a friend of mine's mother all of a sudden was on my door step.
> Oh hello Mrs XXXX
> 
> She came to me to try and stop him from going over to Egypt(she was a Nurse).
> ...



What's your address?


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## Kampfhamster (30 Oct 2004)

Alex252 said:
			
		

> Wow kamphmister thats pretty extreme dot you think?



it is, but it works.  ;D

They respect my decision and now they don't have a problem anymore. 
Well, the situation is a bit different, since we have a conscript army and my dad was a soldier as well and we don't do peacekeeping or combat missions. 

If I would join the CF I wouldn't tell my parents either, since it's my decision and my life.


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## MCpl Burtoo (8 Nov 2004)

I agree and that is what I did. Mind you my Dad was in the military and most of my family are or were in so it was not a hard sell to them. When you are old enough to join on your own, just do it! You will be out in the world making your own way. The military can be a very rewarding and uplifting experience........I am sure your parents will notice a change in you after it is said and done.........and if I may use a quote that I do not know who coined but I live by......"IT IS EASIER TO BEG FORGIVENESS THEN TO ASK FOR PERMISSION!" ;D


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## dq6t9 (9 Nov 2004)

just say " mommy dear i luv ya lotz u my fave mommy on the wholel wide world... pleez let me go!! NOW" uhhhh maybe not just say it makes u happy she'll fall 4 that catch!!!
Good luck
mandee 4 eva  ;D


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## spenco (9 Nov 2004)

I think it may take a tad more than that to convince her...


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## I_Drive_Planes (10 Nov 2004)

My mother was a tough sell.  What I found was that she had a lot of misconceptions and bad information about the forces.  All I did was try to educate her.  I am very well researched and whenever she brought something up I was able to respond in a calm and intelligent manner, and I was able to back it up with actual written proof.  A number of good threads on here helped greatly with that, words from people who have been there and done that are quite good for getting a point across.  She's still not terribly happy about it, but she understands and supports me.  I think the thing that made her back off the most was that I was able to show that I knew exactly what I was getting into, and that I was dedicated to it.  She was actually quite angry when they cut CEOTP and I got cut with it.  I wasn't even really angry, just disappointed.  Just stay motivated, do your research and try to educate rather than argue.

Best of luck


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## zerhash (10 Nov 2004)

My rents did not approve at all. but i joined anyways.

since then they came around. Take em to your BMQ grad parade... make em proud.
They will also be proud when you earn your cap badge and DEU's

Its tough fighting them off. But your dedication will sway them. Not to mention public support.

Now i just gotta find a way to tell em that im going to afghanistan! LoL im a dead man

Spr. Richmond


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