# be prepared.



## TYLERgibson (15 Mar 2013)

I am not talking about physically, because they will put you into shape. I am talking about mentally. If you come to cflrs thinking you got this, you don't. You will cry, countless times in the night, you will text your mom and dad saying you want home. You need to have mental strength her, otherwise you'll end up like 5 of my course mates in the first week vring.


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## MikeL (15 Mar 2013)

Ok,  so you survived the first few days and already giving out advice?


Also,  you should prepare yourself physically as well as mentally.  If you are a lazy person who didn't have the motivation to go for a few runs and do some push ups prior to going to CFLRS you will have a rough time and possibly the PT test.


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## AgentSmith (15 Mar 2013)

Artyman said:
			
		

> I am not talking about physically, because *they will put you into shape.* I am talking about mentally. If you come to cflrs thinking you got this, you don't. You will cry, countless times in the night, you will text your mom and dad saying you want home. You need to have mental strength her, otherwise you'll end up like 5 of my course mates in the first week vring.



No....no they won't. You need to arrive already in shape for basic. Otherwise you could fail your PT test and go on RFT (if that even still exists) which from what I hear is not a fun place to be. 

For mental toughness you need to tell yourself it's just a game and it will get a lot better once you're done the course.


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## OYR_Pilot (15 Mar 2013)

Artyman said:
			
		

> I am talking about mentally.




This is why TEAMWORK is essential in the CF. Instead of freaking out and thinking about mom and dad at home, you guys should stay together, the strong ones helping the weaker ones, especially mentally. Hundreds of CF members go through basic training each year, stay positive and work as a team!


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## The_Falcon (15 Mar 2013)

AgentSmith said:
			
		

> No....no they won't. You need to arrive already in shape for basic. Otherwise you could fail your PT test and go on RFT (if that even still exists) which from what I hear is not a fun place to be.



Or you could somehow get injured and spend almost 2 years at a CFRC in a large city, on medical category "rehabing" :


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## Eye In The Sky (15 Mar 2013)

I did Basic a few years (24 this summer), I don't remember anyone "crying every night".  Instead of texting and IGadgetting and hiding in our rooms like you can do in Blue Sector, we had big open H huts.  Privacy was probably contrary to our well-being, although we didn't know it at the time.  We all sat and polished our boots together, ironed our shit together, cleaned the common areas, waxed the floor (THAT was a teamwork task let me tell you) and leaned on each other in that unspoken way troops learn to do.  That kept our morale up and quickly made our platoon a "home away from home" and our squads "our family away from our family".

Grow a thick skin, drop the IGadgets, and bond like military recruits have for years and years and years; experiencing common uncomforts, whether physical or mental, together, helping each other get thru, over and around them as a team...

I've bumped into squadmates from my Basic, one after almost 20 years and I'd still iron his damn winter underwear 8 x 12 for him if he needed it done (christ knows he could never figure it out!).   ;D  And I know while I was, he'd pull my C1 thru a few times and clean up the working parts, 'cause I suck at it and got jacked up for it last inspection.

Teamwork doesn't only happen on the Obstacle course.  Stop texting mom and become a team.  Basic is easy as 1 platoon, and just a long shitty go on your own/as a group of individuals.  If you make it, that is.

 :2c:


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## shogun506 (16 Mar 2013)

Artyman said:
			
		

> otherwise you'll end up like 5 of my course mates in the first week vring.



"Terms of Service - Release 

 ...If you are selected for employment with the CF you will be presented a job offer. You will be given an adequate amount of time to decide to accept or decline the offer. If you accept the offer you will be expected to report for basic training. *Effective 1 April 2009, no requests for voluntary release (VR) will be granted to candidates undergoing basic training during the first five (5) weeks of training.*
The training environment at the CF Leadership and Recruit School (CFLRS) can be daunting for many new enrolees who may be far from home or may be away for an extended period of time. An analysis of the available information indicates that after five weeks of basic training and confinement to barracks, the probability of success in graduating from basic training is very high. This new policy will allow recruits and officer candidates to remain with their platoon and be given more time to adjust to their new surroundings. The Commandant of CFLRS will have the discretion to process a VR request at any time should circumstances justify doing so..."

http://www.forces.ca/en/page/faq-101#serving-2

Hope your buddies read this.


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## The_Falcon (16 Mar 2013)

I thought recruits were supposed to turn electronics when they get to St. Jean.


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## Tralax (16 Mar 2013)

Hatchet Man said:
			
		

> I thought recruits were supposed to turn electronics when they get to St. Jean.



I thought they went in Civi Lock-up? Only to be handed out after the first 5 weeks, and then only for use on weekends?

I could be wrong as I haven't started BMQ yet, but I have read a pretty much all the material on CFLRS website, forces.ca, and a lot of topics on these forums..


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## The_Falcon (16 Mar 2013)

Tralax said:
			
		

> I thought they went in Civi Lock-up? Only to be handed out after the first 5 weeks, and then only for use on weekends?
> 
> I could be wrong as I haven't started BMQ yet, but I have read a pretty much all the material on CFLRS website, forces.ca, and a lot of topics on these forums..



I was pontificating, since the OP mentioned texting mom and dad during basic.  The actual answer is really not something that concerns me.


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## Eye In The Sky (16 Mar 2013)

Tralax said:
			
		

> I thought  they went in Civi Lock-up? Only to be handed out after the first 5 weeks, and then only for use on weekends?



You mean guessed?



> I could be wrong



You were right on that part.



> I haven't started BMQ yet



Good time to realize "_I should read more, and guess less_."   :nod:



> I have read a pretty much all the material on CFLRS website, forces.ca, and a lot of topics on these forums.



CFLRS Policy  


BTW, it is great that the OP remembers his/her days in the Scouting movement.   8)


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## SentryMAn (18 Mar 2013)

Just remember that CFLRS is a "bubble" and individual experiences may vary.  Looking back on it I remember teh good times and the laughs, like over hearing one Sgt jacking up a candidate and saying "my god, why don't you have any pants on?" during an inspection.

Take it as it is and try not to be too overwhelmed.


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## Sunnyns (21 Mar 2013)

My kid is on week 9 and so far has not called home saying he wants to come home.  I'm not saying he did not think it, I'm sure he did.  I think everyone thinks it at some point there. He's had some rough times but his voice is great, there have been a couple rough patches he tried to hide but a parent can hear it in their voice.  He's thriving out there, much more so then high school or any other thing he's tried.

Take basic day by day and if you have to, take it class by class.  Once you've gotten crap for something the instructor has moved on.  They don't dwell on it, fix what they told you to and it's over.  You will have crappy days but you will also have good days.

This is not for everyone but you can get through it, if you want it bad enough.  I know what he's going through, I did basic in 2002 and his dad did in 1991.  Things were a lot worse then. I won't go into it since that would turn into a pissing contest.  Basic is different for everyone no matter what year you go or went.

You will leave basic with some great memories, the bad ones will fade or you'll laugh at them later down the road.

As soon as you tell people your joining, you will start to hear stories from others. 

I know it's a shock to people once they get there.  I thought it was funny the first day on platton he called and said he'd never moved so fast in his life when his Sgt yelled at everyone to get out.  He's never had anyone yell like that.


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## krimynal (21 Mar 2013)

I think most of the thing I heard about basic ( I haven't done it right now , so I don't want to speak from something I don't know ) is that basic is a somehow of a "game" , you have to get your mind to the fact that this is not gonna be how your life will be in the CF , yeah it's gonna be a hard 13 or 14 or 15 weeks ( even more if you get injured ) , but at the end of the day , it's gonna be an exciting experience ....

I can't wait to get out there and do it !


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## Maxadia (21 Mar 2013)

Eye In The Sky said:
			
		

> I did Basic a few years (24 this summer), I don't remember anyone "crying every night".



I did it in 89, and I finished it again this year.  No one was crying at night that I remember either.......back at 1989.

I'm not surprised that today there might be some in this boat.  Especially being an educator, when our students are protected from all types of stress (we don't do exercises like ` timed mad minutes" for multiplication tables), we see students that simply can't handle normal parts of life.  Last BMQ went well, but I can imagine some of these students going on Basic and losing it.

Life is hard....if it's not, you haven't experienced it yet.  It's a lot harder when you've been protected from it.


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## Eye In The Sky (21 Mar 2013)

:goodpost:


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## Strike (21 Mar 2013)

This might explain why the younger generation may not be able to handle failure of ANY type.

http://notsalmon.com/2012/11/12/grow-who-you-are-grow-your-entire-life-a-sneak-peek-at-my-core-values-curriculum-for-kids/


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## TYLERgibson (21 Mar 2013)

Just had the top athlete of our platoon vr because he missed home, it happens. Maybe not to everyone but it does happen


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## Jarnhamar (21 Mar 2013)

Artyman said:
			
		

> Just had the top athlete of our platoon vr because he missed home, it happens. Maybe not to everyone but it does happen



It must be really hard being a few hours drive away from your family and only able to chat with them after 6pm.


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## TYLERgibson (21 Mar 2013)

He's 18 and has never been away from home. Not everyone has lived on their own for a few years.


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## Maxadia (21 Mar 2013)

Understandable, yes.

But that should be the exception...not becoming a norm.


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## jwtg (21 Mar 2013)

Artyman said:
			
		

> He's 18 and has never been away from home. Not everyone has lived on their own for a few years.


Not everyone's cut out for life in the CF.  No shame in that; better he figure it out now, while he's young and still only on BMQ, than later when it's more difficult to alter his path in life.


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## The_Falcon (22 Mar 2013)

Artyman said:
			
		

> He's 18 and has never been away from home. Not everyone has lived on their own for a few years.



And????  People have been joining the military at that age for decades now.  Many of them were leaving home for the first time.   :


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## George Wallace (22 Mar 2013)

Hatchet Man said:
			
		

> And????  People have been joining the military at that age for decades now.  Many of them were leaving home for the first time.   :



But ....... Today, so many want to live in their parent's basement.   >


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## The_Falcon (22 Mar 2013)

George Wallace said:
			
		

> But ....... Today, so many want to live in their parent's basement.   >



It took a while, but as soon as I was able to financially, I was out, not having a basement in the family home helps .


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## td_2013 (22 Mar 2013)

My hubby is in BMQ right now and while he OBVIOUSLY has stressful / challenging days... he knows that it is a game, and he tells me how amazing of an experience it is - already. The people you meet (whether it be good or bad!) the staff, and the everyday things you get to experience is phenomenal. You are not there to fail, they don't WANT you to fail... you are there to be woken up... That life and lifestyle is obviously not going to be for everyone, but it is inevitable that you will screw up, there is no way around that... you are there to "screw up" so you can learn from it... if you don't embrace it and take it all in, then you are done.


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## George Wallace (22 Mar 2013)

Hatchet Man said:
			
		

> It took a while, but as soon as I was able to financially, I was out, not having a basement in the family home helps .



While you say that, there are many today who still will not leave that basement, even if they are finacially able to.


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## The_Falcon (22 Mar 2013)

George Wallace said:
			
		

> While you say that, there are many today who still will not leave that basement, even if they are finacially able to.



I know, I am in that age bracket, I know quite a few people like that.


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## Eye In The Sky (22 Mar 2013)

td_2013 said:
			
		

> My hubby is in BMQ right now and while he OBVIOUSLY has stressful / challenging days... he knows that it is a game, and he tells me how amazing of an experience it is - already.



While some aspects of it are 'a game' and you hear the term 'play the game' etc, it is actually trg.  For example - inspections; they teach things like teamwork and attention to detail.  Attention to detail passes over to most everything you will do in the CF, whether it is wpns handling, document handling, getting your DEUs ready for a parade, you name it.  Teamwork is part of the foundation of the military.  

BMQ is also the start of the transition thru the 'discipline stages' ( -> Imposed Discipline <- , *Group Discipline, Habits & Behaviour, Self Discipline.  IIRC, those are from SLC in '02).  Discipline is another foundation of the military.  

There are some core lessons learned on BMQ/BMOQ that shouldn't be ignored or forgotten, which makes it far more than "a game".

Not directed at you or your hubby, but more for "potential recruit types" who may read this.   :2c:  


*not barrackroom discipline/justice like blanket parties, etc.  Think "doing what everyone else is doing and the team looking out for each other".  You have a thread you can't see a minute before inspection, someone removes it.  Bloggins forgets his gloves, you remind him, etc.


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## td_2013 (22 Mar 2013)

Eye In The Sky said:
			
		

> While some aspects of it are 'a game' and you hear the term 'play the game' etc, it is actually trg.  For example - inspections; they teach things like teamwork and attention to detail.  Attention to detail passes over to most everything you will do in the CF, whether it is wpns handling, document handling, getting your DEUs ready for a parade, you name it.  Teamwork is part of the foundation of the military.
> 
> BMQ is also the start of the transition thru the 'discipline stages' ( -> Imposed Discipline <- , *Group Discipline, Habits & Behaviour, Self Discipline.  IIRC, those are from SLC in '02).  Discipline is another foundation of the military.
> 
> ...





Couldn't agree with you more. For example, the sewing(off the top of my head)... he told me that there were so many people whining and complaining and "not seeing the point in this" and such, and he said he totally understands why they get you to do it, aside from having your stuff all labeled, it teaches (OR SHOULD) you patience and persistence. 
Already when he is home on weekends and stuff things with his personality and habits have changed, for the better... he can't really see it, as that is taking his lifestyle now, but we can see it... I think it's neat, and I like what they do there, and I don't even know the half of it! Lol


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## SentryMAn (22 Mar 2013)

The sewing also is a bonding thing for your section, you get to spend a lot of time sitting around stiching tags to your gear, thus you get to talk a lot to your section mates.

I learned a lot and made a lot of friends during Basic, and it started with that first week end of spending 10 hours a day sewing.


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## Sunnyns (23 Mar 2013)

Do you think.   Maybe it's the cell phones that are causing the problem.  When I went and my husband went we talked once a week.  Now with the cell phones and computers, people are talking everyday and MAYBE this is not allowing the kids and parents to cut the apron strings.  

If you are not talking on the phone everyday to family back home you would be spending your time bonding with the platoon.  Everyone is in the same boat there, they are all away from home.

Just my thoughts


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## Jarnhamar (23 Mar 2013)

Sunnyns said:
			
		

> Do you think.   Maybe it's the cell phones that are causing the problem.  When I went and my husband went we talked once a week.  Now with the cell phones and computers, people are talking everyday and MAYBE this is not allowing the kids and parents to cut the apron strings.
> 
> If you are not talking on the phone everyday to family back home you would be spending your time bonding with the platoon.  Everyone is in the same boat there, they are all away from home.
> 
> Just my thoughts



I think you hit the nail on the head Sunnyns.  Being cut off from your connections back home sucks but recruits quickly get used to being out of touch because their days are so regimented and busy. They literally don't have time to miss home.

Chatting/texting/facebooking with everyone back home every night MAY seem like it helps but I'm willing to bet all it does is reinforce the idea that the recruit is away from home and away from their family, every night. Instead of loosing yourself in the training and experience you sit there and feel sorry for yourself. 

Naturally that may not be the case for everyone but I bet it's a majority.



Artyman I was giving you a hard time because I thought that you almost sounded as if you were bragging about your peers who VRd.


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## BeyondTheNow (23 Mar 2013)

Sunnyns said:
			
		

> Do you think.   Maybe it's the cell phones that are causing the problem.  When I went and my husband went we talked once a week.  Now with the cell phones and computers, people are talking everyday and MAYBE this is not allowing the kids and parents to cut the apron strings.
> 
> If you are not talking on the phone everyday to family back home you would be spending your time bonding with the platoon.  Everyone is in the same boat there, they are all away from home.
> 
> Just my thoughts



Agreed. There was a policy change thread I commented on a bit ago about the use of cells and such while at BMQ/on course.  I was surprised that they were simply allowed--at all.  When I decided to apply, I was purely under the assumption that come that time, I would have very little contact with my family. I knew it was going to be difficult, but that was part of the whole shebang, so to speak. I knew it, my family knew it. I'm prepared for it. Being in the Military means I'm going to be away. Potentially, for long periods of time.

Personally speaking, talking to someone I care about every night will just drag the whole process out, not to mention probably making it harder for my son. Each time I speak to him, he's going to be reminded that I'm not there. Just as I would like my time to engulf myself in this new chapter of my life, he also needs to continue with life as much as possible and adjust to my absence. 

I don't think basic will be easy by any means. But for me, reminding myself of my old life every day will just make it harder. 



Edit typo


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## Scott (23 Mar 2013)

I'm glad someone referenced that abortion of a thread that just will not fade into obscurity (the iGadgets on BMQ thread). Glad because this seems to be reasoned and balanced, not a bunch of people who've not yet even been sworn in claiming they _know_ rule changes such as the iGadget one will lessen VRs and the like.

My brother-in-law went to work outside of McMurray last year on one of those hundred days of hell rig jobs. Good money but hard slog for 3 1/2 months. He asked me the best way to get through the time away from his boy/family as I have been travelling for work since, well, I started working and I have a lot of experience on the drilling side of things. The best answer I could give him was that his young fellow will learn and adapt, just like he did, and that it would be an important lesson and opportunity for them both. Further, if he pined away his time he might not learn what he needs to and end up putting his fingers where they should not go - something his boy might not find a good experience after years of reflection.

He survived his first winter with only a minor scrape that was unrelated to where his mind was. He got to speak to the young fellow about once a week via Skype, when they even had WiFi. For my part, I gathered up the little gaffer and took him to a couple of hockey games and generally gave him some male bonding time he might have been missing with Dad gone. He looked forward to those visits because he knew he'd get a little spoiled, stay up a little late, and get to eat what he maybe should not.

I'm away right now. I email my wife once or twice a day but due to the hassle of calling internationally (or finding a phone that will) I rarely bother. We got used to it. I've had to blast off at last moments for funerals and the like, but that's life and there's fuck all you can do about life happening while you are away. 

Management of change - learn that phrase.

When I get home from this trip I will have two days off before I have to head for the city, about 3 hours from my home, to teach some new guys about the job. I can already state that my wife knows I might not be as available during that time because I will be busy. If I am not training the newbs I might take meetings with my boss, or might meet clients, or maybe do something on my own to relax. She gets it. She adapted. She manages. And she does well.

So I absolutely roll my eyes when I see such a large amount of what amounts, at least to me, as whining over something that will occupy such a small amount of your life. And yes, I am perfectly qualified to make my comments as I have done a BMQ and various other things that have taken me away from home. I just don't get it. I won't get it. I think people occupied with something so little have a lot to consider before joining a dynamic outfit like the CF - yet they don't because many people nowadays seem to think that light fucking bends around them.

[/rant]


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## BeyondTheNow (23 Mar 2013)

Thanks Scott. It's very helpful hearing of other's strategies and how they cope with the distance/inaccessibility.

I'm fortunate in that I've experienced being on two different sides of the earth (Canada/South Korea) from my immediate and extended family, so I recall vividly not being in regular contact for a period. What actually surprised me the most was the adjustment needed when we were face to face again, not so much the not speaking regularly.  The changes needed for me in re-establishing the old dynamic were interesting. It was very eye-opening for me.

One thing I am looking forward to with Military life is knowing there are/will be many in the same situation and experiencing the same types of feelings.


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## Messorius (23 Mar 2013)

I felt better on the evenings where I didn't call home to my husband. If I felt lonely I went and found a buddy to chatter at. Made staying in the proper headspace much easier.


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## TYLERgibson (26 Mar 2013)

ObedientiaZelum said:
			
		

> I think you hit the nail on the head Sunnyns.  Being cut off from your connections back home sucks but recruits quickly get used to being out of touch because their days are so regimented and busy. They literally don't have time to miss home.
> 
> Chatting/texting/facebooking with everyone back home every night MAY seem like it helps but I'm willing to bet all it does is reinforce the idea that the recruit is away from home and away from their family, every night. Instead of loosing yourself in the training and experience you sit there and feel sorry for yourself.
> 
> ...



I wasn't bragging at all. Sorry if it came across that way


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## TechLife (26 Mar 2013)

I find it strange that people even find the time to go on facebook, text, etc... while doing basic. I remember having more things to do than hours in the day most of time I was there.
It wasn't until near the end of BMQ that I had any time to even pick up a book and read. As mentally straining as BMQ can be and is intended to be, it shows you that your "limits" you once believed you had, are for the most part, just in your head.

That being said, over the years some of the best times I have had in my life were on courses (including BMQ). Being surrounded by a lot of people and a lack of sleep many times will end in fits of uncontrollable laughter. Also, I wouldn't judge those who put in their VR's, in many cases there is a lot more to it that they would rather not discuss, just something to remember!


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