# Canadian Battle Honours



## LawnDart (2 Mar 2005)

The Canadian Military, thanks to incompetent Generals, disinterested, myopic politicians, and a weak, pathetic public, has pretty much lost it's warfighting ability. That may seem like an attack on the troops, but it's not. Despite some of my rants, I imagine the average troopie is pretty much of the same mind as I was a decade or so ago. He wants to get get over to the war of the moment. As it was in my day, that war is in Iraq. A Canadian who wants to be a real soldier though, riding an APC in a column on the charge to Bagdahd, with A-10's above and tankers clearing the way ahead, is by nature, going to be disappointed. In short, Canada doesn't do the war fighting thing anymore. We haven't since 1953. And I don't expect it to change anytime soon.

As a nation, Canadians don't seem to understand the military ethos. We don't have a vibrant ROTC program, and our politicians are so incompetent, they can't even overcome a treasonous Quebec caucus to do what's right and sign on for missile defence.

As a nation, our so-called "film industry" is so busy making boring, artsy films which nobody outside of the National Film Board of Canada watches that they've never made anything close to a decent Canadian war movie. That's not the case with other nations. The Americans and Brits are obviously good at putting their own military history on celluloid, and in effect into the minds of their public. The Aussies, a nation of comparable size and history to us, do that too. We've all seen Mel Gibson in "Gallipolli", and the "Odd Angry Shot." But I've yet to see a Canadian first run Canadian Movie called "Vimy" or "Dieppe." 

As a result, we will have to look to our recent past for decent battle honours. I am willing to help out by providing some writings of my own on great Canadian Battle Honours since 1953. 
  

Today, we'll discuss the actions of the CF in 1991 during the First Gulf War. 

It was August, 1990, when Saddam decided to push the west's tolerance. He invaded Kuwait, a land he claimed historically as Iraqi territory. Coincidentally, this would have afforded him control over about a quarter of the world's oil supply, and put him in a position to threaten Saudi Arabia, the next biggest producer after himself and Russia. Consolidation of his power had the potential to allow him to become a major player in the mid-east, someone who could negotiate with the west on something approaching equal terms. 

President Bush (the first), could not allow this. The US, heavily dependent on mid-east oil, had just spent 40 years and trillions of dollars defeating a totalitarian Soviet Union in the cold war, and was in no mood to play footsie with a new Saladin in the Arabian Peninsula. The stage was set for war. 

Over the following several months, President Bush built a coalition of free nations to dislodge Saddam from his new conquest. He pressured the little thug to withdraw, and dispatched US Forces to Saudi Arbabia to drive home the point. Still, Saddam refused to budge. 

Finally, war became inevitable. At this point, Valiant Canada, convinced that Saddam must be stopped, entered the fray. PM Mulroney held a cabinet meeting to discuss the American request for the deployment of a Canadian Mechanized Brigade to deploy to the Gulf under the command of a US Armound Division. 

After careful planning, the senior brass of the CF advised the defence minister of their assessment. Such a deployment in a full scale war would result in the following; 

Dead; 500 troops 
Wounded; 1500 troops 
Missing; 25 

The Baie Comeau boy furrowed his brow, and frowned. "This is a tough decision, way tougher than the one to pander to the Quebec caucas and send all that lucrative CF 18 work to Bombardier instead of out to the 'Peg when they really deserved it. 

His defence minister sighed, "Yes Mr Prime Minister, it gets even worse. If we lose that many troops, our polsters suggest we as the government will probably wear the blame for it because we've neglected our military for years." 

Mulroney chortled, "well this makes the decision easy then. Fuck principles. We'll announce that we wholeheartedly support the ouster of Saddam from Kuwait and are joining the coalition. Then, we'll announce the deployment of Canadian Forces to the Gulf. That'll shut the Pro-America crowd up. Then, quietly, we'll send something significant, but not so significant they might actually get hurt. Let's say a bunch of ships. Wait does Iraq have a navy?" 

"NO SIR!" shouted Vice-Admiral Anderson of Maritime Command. 

"Good!" snapped Mulroney."We'll send a destroyer, no, 3 destroyers, by God we'll teach those sand monkeys a lesson!" 

"Mr Prime Minister," whimpered the Canadian Ambassador to Washington, "Even India's sending 3 ships, I think we need something a little more substantial to placate the State Department." 

Mulroney went silent and stared out the window, across the Parliament Grounds and at the War Memorial, which was at the time covered in pigeon shit and anarchist graffiti. He pinched his pronounced chin, and thought deeply. Everyone in the room was on tenterhooks. 

Then he spoke, slowly and quietly. His smooth, fine port-poured over gravel-voice barely audible over the mindless chants of striking Canada Post workers outside. 

"I have no problem with our forces killing people. That's what they're trained to do" he said, to nods of approval from the assorted cabinet ministers. 

"But I do have a problem with our people BEING killed by others. Especially if somehow that gets blamed on ME!" 

The cabinet looked puzzled. 

"Fuck you guys are dumb!" shouted Mulroney. "I'll spell it out then. If they pin it on me, then by default, it sticks to you. 

There was an uncomfortable silence. Michael Wilson, the Finance Minister looked quietly at his shoes. External Affairs Minister Barbara Mcdougall scratched her nose, then picked quietly at her fingernail. 

Suddenly, a soft voice was heard from Defence. It was CDS De'Chastelaine. 

"Sir, we have a plan." 

"Let's hear it then", chided Mulroney. 

"What if we did this. We could send over 3 ships, just like India did. We'll have to outfit them with old style 20 mm bofors cannon from the war museum, but they'll do the job. Then we could send over a field hospital, most Canadians like watching MASH reruns, so they'll be ok with that." 

"Yes, said Mulroney, I like it. I like it alot. Please continue." 

"We won't make the US happy with that kind of shit though. We need to actually do something. What if we also sent over a few fighters. They could be used to help knock down the Iraqi Air Force." 

"Whoa, shouted Mulroney, I saw pictures of dog fights from WW 2. People could get killed doing that. No Fucking WAY!" 

"Wait, wait sir. I'm not done yet. The Iraqi Air Force is done. There'll be 700 US and UK fighters over there. We can say we're in it. But do you think a few Arab fighters are going to take on NATO's vanguard? No way, the planes not destroyed on the ground will run to Iran. Nobody's going to take us on in the air. That's the beauty of it. We can say we're fighting it out, without having to do so. Plus, our security force at the airfield from the RCRS can dig all the defensive positions, then, as soon as the air war starts and they're done digging, we'll pull the Royals and deploy the Van Doos to take all the glory. That'll keep the Quebec Caucas at bay." 

"Sounds like a plan enthused Mulroney." 



NEXT-The incredible tale of Air Command in Gulf War 1!


----------



## bob the piper (2 Mar 2005)

I do believe that Michael Dorosh's site www.canadiansoldiers.com lists several Canadian war movies, so they do exist, you just aren't looking hard enough. And I'll let others, more informed in these matters, discuss the rest of your post


----------



## LawnDart (3 Mar 2005)

I didn't bother looking them up Bob, I have seen a couple of Canadian war movies. "Going Home" a story about Canadian WW1 vets who rioted at Aldershot in 1919 was one. "Dieppe", a CBC movie of the week was another.  Poorly done crap, both of them. I saw "Billy Bishop Goes to War" on stage in the 1980's. That, I will admit, was brilliantly done. But how many Canadians, including yourself, can say they saw that one Bob?

As you can't dispute anything else I said, we'll just leave that for the tag team eh?

Good luck guys.


----------



## Michael Dorosh (3 Mar 2005)

Dieppe was a mini-series, not a movie of the week, and from a historical perspective, it was extremely well done.


----------



## Infanteer (3 Mar 2005)

Well, Mr Dart's recent "Hardcore" behaviour has earned him a "Receive Only" 77 set, but I'll respond to his rant.

Sure, his highly colourful story seems to indicate the problems that we had during the Gulf War, but I can see them as being:

A) Completely justified back then considering the Cold War-centered posture

B) Completely different then the situation on the ground now.

It is easy to see why the Canadian Forces had such a problem with any real commitment to the Gulf - we were still locked into a Cold War strategy of commitments which was centered around two things; mobilization and getting soldiers to Europe to fight it out in the Fulda Gap.   Aside from what was left of our Airborne forces, Canada possessed no real strategic expeditionary forces that could have been put to good use.  Still recovering from Trudeau's gutting of Defence in the 1970's, we weren't to ready to venture out of our institutional focus.

Mulroney was a big fan of the Americans and the Gulf was sanctioned by the international community - I don't think abstention was based solely on saving ones political butt.

As well, I don't think it is fair to peg the CF of 1990 as a reason why we lack any sort of Warfighting capability right now.   I'm quite sure there are problems to be addressed (there always are) and that many here can point them out (along with their ideas for a solution), but, Lawndart, since you left us "CF Losers and weak-kneed legs" for greener pastures quite some time ago, you're probably the last person I'd want to hear about it from.

Cheers,
Infanteer


----------



## bob the piper (3 Mar 2005)

LawnDart said:
			
		

> "Going Home" a story about Canadian WW1 vets who rioted at Aldershot in 1919 was one. "Dieppe", a CBC movie of the week was another.   Poorly done crap, both of them. I saw "Billy Bishop Goes to War" on stage in the 1980's. That, I will admit, was brilliantly done. But how many Canadians, including yourself, can say they saw that one Bob?



Well, if you'd take a look at my profile, I was 4 when Dieppe was on TV and I probably wasn't born yet when "Billy Bishop Goes to War" was out. So, I apologise but, there's not all that much I can do about it.


----------



## pbi (3 Mar 2005)

Lawn Dart: what's the point of dredging this stuff up? If we know anything about the last couple of decades of our history, we know this stuff already. Seems to me that its a bit more to the point to worry about what we are going to do to rebuild our abilities.

Cheers.


----------



## Michael Dorosh (3 Mar 2005)

I just reread the initial post;   I think this should be moved to fiction as I am not sure that the quotes by Mr. Mulroney are accurate.   

edit - I have moved this to literature as it is speculative fiction.


----------

