# Ask a Stupid Question.



## GnyHwy (10 Mar 2012)

If there was ever a place, this is it.  Go ahead and ask the most dumbass question ever, or some dumbass question that someone else might have asked you.  Do not limit yourself to your own stupidity; please includes other's, and ask away.  

This should be taken lightly; but if it works, it may trigger some good ideas.  I will start it off.

How do combine drawing skills and blowing crap up to qualify as a skill?


----------



## Occam (10 Mar 2012)

GnyHwy said:
			
		

> How do combine drawing skills and blowing crap up to qualify as a skill?



If you take the Career Transition Services seminars through VAC, you'll know exactly how to put that on a resume.   ;D


----------



## medicineman (10 Mar 2012)

Dumbass answer - demolition artist.  You draw before, during and after pictures of a building/target/whatever that you're planting your charges in.

MM


----------



## Silverfire (10 Mar 2012)

You can work for Lockheed Martin designing weapons?


----------



## cupper (10 Mar 2012)

Designing structures that can't be blown up? (or at least sustain minimal damage)

The only stupid question is the one that isn't asked. (Although I've heard a few that come close)


----------



## aesop081 (10 Mar 2012)

cupper said:
			
		

> The only stupid question is the one that isn't asked. (Although I've heard a few that come close)



People who think that there is no such thing as a stupid question have never been a participant at airshows.

 ;D


----------



## Hawk (10 Mar 2012)

Bill Engvall makes a living off people who ask stupid questions "Here's your sign".

Hawk


----------



## Old Sweat (10 Mar 2012)

A classmate of mine on officer training asked the instructor what exactly was the purpose of Time HE (that's an HE round with a clockwork fuze to burst it in the air.) 

The AIG calmly looked at him, and replied "to inflict casualties upon the enemy [long pause] Sir."


----------



## Journeyman (10 Mar 2012)

cupper said:
			
		

> Designing structures that can't be blown up? (or at least sustain minimal damage)









       :nod:


----------



## Pat in Halifax (10 Mar 2012)

My early days in the Navy giving a tour on board HMCS SAGUENAY and someone standing at the aft end of the flight deck had been looking at the Canadian Flag flutterring in the breeze and asked me "What does the 'C' in HMCS stand for?"


----------



## GnyHwy (10 Mar 2012)

Journeyman said:
			
		

> :nod:



Tee hee hee.

Anyone gather why a kitchen counter costs so much?

It is because it is made of stone, and is resistent to nuclear attack.


----------



## RememberanceDay (10 Mar 2012)

I have been asked (As a 15 y/o by my classmates), "So, how long have you been in the navy? Have you ever gone to war? Have you ever killed someone in war? Did you get sent over to Afghanistan? Is it hot in the summer over there? (This is a Canadian 'friend') "Have you ever gone to Iraq or Iran? How about Korea?"

Yep. To save you the time looking at my profile, I am a RCSeaC. I gave my classemates explaining answers, but wow....


----------



## catalyst (10 Mar 2012)

I am a guide at Vimy Ridge.........so related to the CF (just had to add!)

We have displays of information in the 'museum' area in English, French and German. 

A group of british girls are standing discussing one of  the panels. I realize they are trying to figure out what the third language is. They finally decide that it must be 'Canadian'.  One of them finally approaches me and  asks if it was Canadian.......

'Can you say something in Canadian for me' (asked in French, by a French student). He seemed shocked when he heard it was the same as English.


----------



## RememberanceDay (10 Mar 2012)

ArmySailor said:
			
		

> 'Can you say something in Canadian for me' (asked in French, by a French student). He seemed shocked when he heard it was the same as English.



Hehehehe... Nice one.


----------



## Kat Stevens (10 Mar 2012)

ArmySailor said:
			
		

> I am a guide at Vimy Ridge.........so related to the CF (just had to add!)
> 
> We have displays of information in the 'museum' area in English, French and German.
> 
> ...



Large double double and a 20 pack of assorted dog nuts, eh.


----------



## Franko (10 Mar 2012)

ArmySailor said:
			
		

> 'Can you say something in Canadian for me' (asked in French, by a French student).



"You are a dumbass"


----------



## q_1966 (10 Mar 2012)

Why do they call it a water buffalo?


----------



## BadgerTrapper (10 Mar 2012)

I get a LOT of dumb questions for Firefighting...

"Since you're a volunteer Firefighter, do you see fires?"

"Do things get hot when you're fighting a fire?"

"Do you see a lot of things other people don't?"

Or my personal favorite....

"I bet you have PTSD"

(Bare in mind, these are asked by my 18-15 year old classmates. I am 17, Volunteer firefighting for over 1.5 years.)


----------



## FlyingDutchman (11 Mar 2012)

Why is it called a pineapple?

Are they really in disguise when there is a giant faction symbol is on the hood of the car?

Do chics really dig scars?  Is that why my wife likes the Lion King so much?


----------



## TN2IC (11 Mar 2012)

Why is there braille at the drive thru ATM?


----------



## Fishbone Jones (11 Mar 2012)

TN said:
			
		

> Why is there braille at the drive thru ATM?



Because most ATM's are of a generic manufacture. They don't produce ATM's specifically for a drive thru, so they get the same stuff as one inside a kiosk.


----------



## TN2IC (11 Mar 2012)

recceguy said:
			
		

> Because most ATM's are of a generic manufacture. They don't produce ATM's specifically for a drive thru, so they get the same stuff as one inside a kiosk.



no no no no noooooooooooooooooo lies lies lies lies........... Witch craft!!!!1


----------



## cupper (11 Mar 2012)

TN said:
			
		

> Why is there braille at the drive thru ATM?



Cause the seeing eye dogs can't read normal letters and numbers. ;D


----------



## GAP (11 Mar 2012)

cupper said:
			
		

> Cause the seeing eye dogs can't read normal letters and numbers. ;D



Well......there goes that assumption............. :

It's been lieing to me all this time huh.......


----------



## catalyst (11 Mar 2012)

Kat Stevens said:
			
		

> Large double double and a 20 pack of assorted dog nuts, eh.



Why is the memorial park not Canadian land (well, its owned by Canada, but is not a Canadian territory)? 

Because if it was, we'd have to put up a Tim Hortons (my answer )


----------



## cupper (11 Mar 2012)

ArmySailor said:
			
		

> Why is the memorial park not Canadian land (well, its owned by Canada, but is not a Canadian territory)?
> 
> Because if it was, we'd have to put up a Tim Hortons (my answer )



I thought France seeded it as sovereign Canadian Territory?

I'm pretty sure that if we had to set up a Timmies we could find a tasteful way of setting it up. Maybe turn one of the German dugouts into an underground Tims.


----------



## Delaney1986 (11 Mar 2012)

In class discussing the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights
Girl: "I don't get it...I thought the UN is just a bunch of British people anyway, isn't that where London is?"
Class: "Umm...that would be the UK..."


----------



## Journeyman (11 Mar 2012)

TN said:
			
		

> Why is there braille at the drive thru ATM?


We have to believe that a significant number of drivers in this town are blind; they don't drive that way _merely_ because they're retarded Queen's/RMC students.
      :facepalm:


----------



## ModlrMike (11 Mar 2012)

TN said:
			
		

> Why is there braille at the drive thru ATM?



If you've ever driven in Winnipeg you wouldn't have to ask this.


----------



## Maxadia (11 Mar 2012)

When my dad was in the militia in the late 50's/early 60's, they had someone ask what to do with the wheelbarrow of leftover concrete (complete with shovels sticking out) from whatever they were doing that Friday afternoon.  He and a couple of other guys said to just put it behind one of the buildings and save it for later.

Even then, he was surprised at the decibels of the screaming they heard come Monday morning......


----------



## Pat in Halifax (11 Mar 2012)

In line with the "Why is there braille on drive thru bank machines",

Why are there locks on the doors of stores that are open 24/7?

And my personal fave...
...If I write a book entitled "How to Fail" and it is a success, is it a failure?


----------



## cupper (11 Mar 2012)

TN said:
			
		

> Why is there braille at the drive thru ATM?



So hockey refs can use them too!

You know, blown calls look so much clearer in HD


----------



## Maxadia (11 Mar 2012)

Pat in Halifax said:
			
		

> Why are there locks on the doors of stores that are open 24/7?



Because they're not open 365 days a year.


----------



## Pat in Halifax (12 Mar 2012)

RDJP said:
			
		

> Because they're not open 365 days a year.


Let me rephrase "Why are there locks on the doors of stores that are open 24/7/365"?


----------



## The Bread Guy (12 Mar 2012)

Old one:  Why do you drive on a parkway, but park on a driveway?


----------



## PMedMoe (12 Mar 2012)

Maybe not such a stupid question....  This one is for anyone who has ever worked in a military kitchen:

What's the name of the course where they teach you to put all the food in one pile on the plate?


----------



## GAP (12 Mar 2012)

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> Maybe not such a stupid question....  This one is for anyone who has ever worked in a military kitchen:
> 
> What's the name of the course where they teach you to put all the food in one pile on the plate?



Sanitation Engineer 101?  ;D


----------



## PMedMoe (12 Mar 2012)

GAP said:
			
		

> Sanitation Engineer 101?  ;D



Possibly.  I'm not one of those "the food can't touch" people, but I really hate beans on top of my eggs.....and potatoes.....and....   :

If there are three items on a plate and half the plate is still empty, they're too close!


----------



## cupper (12 Mar 2012)

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> Possibly.  I'm not one of those "the food can't touch" people, but I really hate beans on top of my eggs.....and potatoes.....and....   :
> 
> If there are three items on a plate and half the plate is still empty, they're too close!



But that takes real skill.


----------



## TN2IC (12 Mar 2012)

Can I wear a Spartan helmet during a BFT and start quoting "300" movie?


----------



## Maxadia (12 Mar 2012)

Pat in Halifax said:
			
		

> Let me rephrase "Why are there locks on the doors of stores that are open 24/7/365"?



Because you need to lock it sometimes.    (robbery, water flooding, etc)

Am I ruining your fun?  ;D


----------



## aesop081 (12 Mar 2012)

"What does your airplane do ?"

"Hunts and kills submarines Ma'am"

"Oh, so you use that pointy thing at the back to stab the submarine"

"why do you think that"

"Well, it says on this sheet that the engines go in reverse so it made sense to me"

"You picked up on that eh, good job, here's a sticker"


----------



## OldSolduer (12 Mar 2012)

TN said:
			
		

> Can I wear a Spartan helmet during a BFT and start quoting "300" movie?



Yes in fact you can. We actually encourage our braver troops to wear the uniforms  and carry the weapons of the Spartans.....especially near gay bars....


----------



## dapaterson (12 Mar 2012)

Pat in Halifax said:
			
		

> Let me rephrase "Why are there locks on the doors of stores that are open 24/7/365"?



Because this year was a leap year, so they closed for Feb 29 - day #366!


----------



## Pat in Halifax (12 Mar 2012)

dapaterson said:
			
		

> Because this year was a leap year, so they closed for Feb 29 - day #366!


Good one - hadn't thought of that.


----------



## The Bread Guy (12 Mar 2012)

CDN Aviator said:
			
		

> "What does your airplane do ?"
> 
> "Hunts and kills submarines Ma'am"
> 
> ...


You should have said the reverse prop pitch was for parallel parking in tight spots.....


----------



## Sadukar09 (12 Mar 2012)

"No, the C4 gasmask is not effective underwater."


----------



## GAP (12 Mar 2012)

Sadukar09 said:
			
		

> "No, the C4 gasmask is not effective underwater."



but....but, the seals use them........


----------



## FlyingDutchman (12 Mar 2012)

How do you drive to Hawaii?


----------



## DexOlesa (12 Mar 2012)

> You should have said the reverse prop pitch was for parallel parking in tight spots.....



Lol, been there Done that, though to be fair, not with a CF aircraft. It's probably frowned upon.


----------



## PPCLI Guy (13 Mar 2012)

TN said:
			
		

> Can I wear a Spartan helmet during a BFT and start quoting "300" movie?



It is mandatory in 3 PPCLI


----------



## lethalLemon (13 Mar 2012)

TN said:
			
		

> Can I wear a Spartan helmet during a BFT and start quoting "300" movie?



I'd do it once just for the photo op  ;D


----------



## Tank Troll (13 Mar 2012)

What is that big gun on the Tank used for?

Why do they make me put cam paint on when I'm in a Tank?

How come every time we buy a new Army truck the tail gate gets further and further from the ground?

What does that patch mean (asked by an American E7 in Fort Lee Virginia while pointing at my buddy's Canada flag)

Why is there no pork in a hamburger?

When the snow melts where does the white go?

Can orphans eat in family restaurants?


----------



## PMedMoe (13 Mar 2012)

PPCLI Guy said:
			
		

> It is mandatory in 3 PPCLI



Any of 'em look like Gerard Butler?  If so, I want a posting.   ;D


----------



## Pat in Halifax (13 Mar 2012)

Found these (some gems) in another forum I frequent:

_Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? 

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours? 

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? ? 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? 

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.' 

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? 

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? 

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? _


----------



## Sadukar09 (13 Mar 2012)

FlyingDutchman said:
			
		

> How do you drive to Hawaii?



With this.


----------



## F3m5h3p (13 Mar 2012)

Pat in Halifax said:
			
		

> Found these (some gems) in another forum I frequent:
> 
> _Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
> 
> ...



Epic


----------



## jparkin (13 Mar 2012)

Sadukar09 said:
			
		

> With this.


I'm more interested in that F-4 beside him!


----------



## Pat in Halifax (13 Mar 2012)

I was going to say the same thing but then I would have to lengthen my driveway...by about 5280 feet!!


----------



## FlyingDutchman (14 Mar 2012)

Why is it called a minigun?  Could I have the maxigun?


----------



## medicineman (14 Mar 2012)

Couple all time favorites: (1) "Why would people want fruit flavoured condoms?"
                                         (2) From a 19 year old MALE cadet at RMC: "Can I book a Pap please?"  Staff: "Is this for you or a friend?"  Cadet:  "Oh, it's for me..."  

The look on the Doc's face was priceless when she wandered in in the middle of this  >.

MM


----------



## Journeyman (14 Mar 2012)

medicineman said:
			
		

> "Why would people want fruit flavoured condoms?"


Well......today _is_ Steak & BJ Day. 


 You know you want to Google it.   >


----------



## armyvern (14 Mar 2012)

medicineman said:
			
		

> ...
> (2) From a 19 year old MALE cadet at RMC: "Can I book a Pap please?"  Staff: "Is this for you or a friend?"  Cadet:  "Oh, it's for me..."
> ...



Ahhhh, the naivete ...

This reminds me of an incident that I had (both my cousin and my son will hate me for putting it here ...  >)

So, the son is about 8 months old and he's enjoying his first trip to the east coast. Enjoying dinner at my aunt's place, she asks me, "so did you have him circumsized"? I answer, "yes". 

After dinner, my female cousin (21 at the time) pulls me aside and asks, "what does circumsized mean?" I am dumbfounded and say words to the effect of, "well, I guess your husband isn't then". She states, "Well, I wouldn't know".

WTF!!?? So, being the nice girl and mentor that I am ... I laid it all out for her; as an added bonus, I found her 9erD is indeed circumcised.


----------



## medicineman (14 Mar 2012)

Journeyman said:
			
		

> Well......today _is_ Steak & BJ Day.
> 
> 
> You know you want to Google it.   >



Don't really want to google it - just reap the benefits of it  ;D...might just have to settle for the steak though  :'(.

MM


----------



## Jimmy_D (14 Mar 2012)

At least you get a steak, the wife is on healthy way of eating. So that means very little red meat in the house. I grew up as a steak and potatoes. And with her meds she has absolutely no libdo, so I'm looking at rice and salmon for supper.  :'(


----------



## Loachman (14 Mar 2012)

Jimmy_D said:
			
		

> At least you get a steak, the wife is on healthy way of eating.



So you got the BJ then?


----------



## Jimmy_D (14 Mar 2012)

Dreaming of it.. Like I said she has no Libdo so thats a blue moon event.


----------



## Sigs Pig (14 Mar 2012)

jparkin said:
			
		

> I'm more interested in that F-4 beside him!



Try here...
http://www.museumofflight.org/aircraft/mcdonnell-f-4c-f-110a-phantom-ii

ME


----------



## q_1966 (14 Mar 2012)

Tank Troll said:
			
		

> How come every time we buy a new Army truck the tail gate gets further and further from the ground?



Your getting shorter from injury's to the knees and back from continuously jumping out of the back of the old truck.


----------



## medicineman (14 Mar 2012)

Jimmy_D said:
			
		

> At least you get a steak, the wife is on healthy way of eating. So that means very little red meat in the house. I grew up as a steak and potatoes. And with her meds she has absolutely no libdo, so I'm looking at rice and salmon for supper.  :'(



Time to get a bar fridge and a BBQ in the man cave...on the bright side, she does make you dinner  

MM


----------



## GnyHwy (15 Mar 2012)

FlyingDutchman said:
			
		

> Why is it called a minigun?  Could I have the maxigun?



This is a maxigun.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3oZP2tEbH4&feature=related

or this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfThQygJ_2o&feature=related

or this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pf_REp2rtFw&feature=fvwrel

or one with our guys in it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eD_Lo61rAw

Ain't no minigun gonna do that.


----------



## PJGary (16 Mar 2012)

PPCLI Guy said:
			
		

> It is mandatory in 3 PPCLI



Legitimately it took one of my friends 2 years of wearing that shirt before I got a message saying "HOLY S*** THE 3 IS A SPARTAN HELMET SIDEWAYS!!!!"


----------



## Oldgateboatdriver (16 Mar 2012)

Pat in Halifax said:
			
		

> I was going to say the same thing but then I would have to lengthen my driveway...by about 5280 feet!!



No, No, No, Pat:

You only need 200 feet of driveway  ...  a good boiler (you remember how to operate one of those, don't you  ) and a 1200 PSI Mark III steam catapult.


----------



## TN2IC (16 Mar 2012)

How many words rhyme with vagina?


----------



## armyvern (16 Mar 2012)

1) Regina 
...


 8)


----------



## cupper (16 Mar 2012)

angina ???


----------



## armyvern (16 Mar 2012)

mangina

(as in: sand in one's)   >


----------



## cupper (16 Mar 2012)

ArmyVern said:
			
		

> mangina
> 
> (as in: sand in one's)   >



The Mangina Monologues.


----------



## q_1966 (17 Mar 2012)

GnyHwy said:
			
		

> or one with our guys in it.
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eD_Lo61rAw
> 
> Ain't no minigun gonna do that.



What is Tom Hanks doing with the CF, shooting a movie in Afghanistan.


----------



## TN2IC (17 Mar 2012)

Can someone find me the lyrics to the intro song of Batman?


----------



## Hammer Sandwich (18 Mar 2012)

TN said:
			
		

> Can someone find me the lyrics to the intro song of Batman?



Which Batman...man?

There's been so many!


----------



## armyvern (18 Mar 2012)

Is my cheque really in the mail?    :-\


----------



## q_1966 (18 Mar 2012)

what happens when you put post it notes everywhere explaining what still needs to be done, just before inspection ;D


----------



## TN2IC (18 Mar 2012)

Nobody said North Carolina?


----------



## FlyingDutchman (20 Mar 2012)

I keep on trying to take over the world but my giant monster is always stopped by teens driving a giant robot, what should I do?  Also, after the 25th or so time that my monster has started destroying a city, why has the military never once stepped in against me? That always bugged me as a kid when I watched Power Rangers.


----------



## TN2IC (2 Apr 2012)

Can I use Quick Clot on my wife's menstrual cycle? Will it save money on pads? Very embarrassing going to the store and buying some for her. Awful feeling....


----------



## RememberanceDay (6 Apr 2012)

TN said:
			
		

> Can I use Quick Clot on my wife's menstrual cycle? Will it save money on pads? Very embarrassing going to the store and buying some for her. Awful feeling....




She might not be the most pleased...


----------



## q_1966 (6 Apr 2012)

TN said:
			
		

> Can I use Quick Clot on my wife's menstrual cycle? Will it save money on pads? Very embarrassing going to the store and buying some for her. Awful feeling....








http://www.canada.com/health/Medical+clamp+inspired+hair+clip+quickly+stems+flood+blood/6399975/story.html

You could always buy one of these...might be cheaper in the long run


----------



## Loachman (10 Apr 2012)

Add a vibrator and some tassels...


----------



## FlyingDutchman (14 Apr 2012)

Is it still a school zone during a teacher strike?


----------



## Cui (14 Apr 2012)

FlyingDutchman said:
			
		

> Is it still a school zone during a teacher strike?



Yes, during the summer, although there might not be children in school, it is still a school zone. Cops love to just park there with the radar guns  :-\

If brunch is breakfast and lunch, why can't we have lunner, like lunch and dinner in the same meal?


----------



## RememberanceDay (14 Apr 2012)

Cui said:
			
		

> If brunch is breakfast and lunch, why can't we have lunner, like lunch and dinner in the same meal?



Because it's the same meal... Lunch is dinner. I assume you mean Lupper.


----------



## cupper (14 Apr 2012)

RemembranceDay said:
			
		

> Because it's the same meal... Lunch is dinner. I assume you mean Lupper.



What about Brupper?


----------



## GAP (14 Apr 2012)

cupper said:
			
		

> What about Brupper?



Yeah, but then you've missed lunch...


----------



## cupper (14 Apr 2012)

GAP said:
			
		

> Yeah, but then you've missed lunch...



Only if you consider it as breakfast and supper. But if it's brunch and supper ...


----------



## RememberanceDay (14 Apr 2012)

In that case, Brupper is my daily meal.


----------



## Sigs Pig (14 Apr 2012)

Also, if the QM repacked the IMP case, you may get breaky, dinner _or_ supper at ANY time of the day. 
Always boosts moral on an extended EX!

ME


----------



## cupper (14 Apr 2012)

Sigs Pig said:
			
		

> Always boosts moral on an extended EX!



They must have improved in the past 20 years. Some of the ones I remember, my dogs wouldn't eat. (and I've seen them eat other dog's poop)


----------



## trampbike (15 Apr 2012)

Pat in Halifax said:
			
		

> Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


To improve their chances of getting to the target



			
				Pat in Halifax said:
			
		

> If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? ?


If you meant 0 deg Celsius, then twice that is about 273,3 degrees C
If you meant 0 deg Fahrenheit, then twice that is about 459.7 degrees F




			
				Pat in Halifax said:
			
		

> If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


Yes


----------



## TN2IC (16 Apr 2012)

I wonder if the Grim Reaper can find Waldo?


----------



## medicineman (16 Apr 2012)

Who do you think created Waldo...he's a zombie.

Here's one, to quote the late Frank Zappa - "Why does it hurt when I pee?"

MM


----------



## FlyingDutchman (17 Apr 2012)

Batman can find Waldo.

 http://bandit-dart.deviantart.com/art/HE-WILL-FIND-YOU-151316787


----------

