# She's having a baby



## Navyrec (31 Mar 2009)

..while I'm very likely in St. Jean this summer. Not married or common law but very much together. I'd like to know if I get some time off when it happens. If this has been covered, I haven't seen it. Thanks.


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## Michael OLeary (31 Mar 2009)

Refer to this thread for advice:
http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/85083.0.html

Especially since you are neither married nor common-law, time off will be at the discretion of your course staff.  Weekend time later in the course has your best chance of being approved.  Keep in mind that you can only miss so much training time (often only 2-3 days) before it cannot be made up within the same course.


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## PMedMoe (31 Mar 2009)

Chances are, you won't get much time off during BMQ.  You are confined to the Mega for the first four weekends and after that, they're still not guaranteed.  Just make sure the staff knows and that she has lots of support when you're away.  If you haven't been slated for your BMQ yet, give the recruiting centre a call and see if you can't postpone until after the due date, if you want to, that is.

Also, once you have a child together, you can claim common-law.  Just make sure you put the paperwork in right away.  That way, she and the baby are covered on your postings, etc.


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## Lil_T (31 Mar 2009)

Maybe.  This is something you will have to discuss with your course staff.  I would not necessarily count on it - babies are unpredictable, and there's a good possibility you would not get there in time.  Also highly unlikely that you would be able to take any amount of time off BMQ without having to restart.

*thanks for stating everything I was thinking Mr O'Leary


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## Navyrec (31 Mar 2009)

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> Also, once you have a child together, you can claim common-law.  Just make sure you put the paperwork in right away.  That way, she and the baby are covered on your postings, etc.


Answers another question, thank you. There's a chance I could start at the end of April. She's due near the end of July. I realize the limitations, just wondering what my options were. All nice answers, thanks.


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## newmet (31 Mar 2009)

Well, looking at the calendar and knowing that basic still runs at 14 weeks right now, I would say you would probably be out in the field for week 12 or on grad week when she delivers.  If you start the last week of April and she delivers near the end of July.
So, if you're in the field you may not even find out until the end of the week that she has delivered or you may get a couple of days off that weekend with maybe an extra day or two for leave.  
I think you need to make a hard choice.  If you're joining to provide a future for your family, you need to weigh the pros and cons.  As soon as she gives birth, unless you get married before hand you have to wait 90 days for them to be covered under medical.  
So, to go or do you stay...there is no guarantee that you will get the time off, the moto around the military, one of them, is "Hope for the best, plan for the worst".
Unfortunately you and your girlfriend have to decide what is best for you and your new family.
Good luck.


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## Navyrec (31 Mar 2009)

We've agreed not to wait for basic. Benefits are key here, so I'd like to get moving on this. She's working this summer too. This is for our support, and ultimately a very positive and exciting time for both of us. There really isn't any bad news here.


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## newmet (1 Apr 2009)

Well, as long as you are both in agreement that this is for the best then that's all you need.  Like I said already though, it takes 3 months for dependents to be covered by your insurance, so as it sits now your girlfriend and baby won't be covered until you have been in for around 6 months.  Also, as for leave, depends on where you are for the training.  You can always ask for leave but it is probably best not to be removed off basic in the last couple of weeks.  You may be able to arrange time off after basic before your trades training, depending on training and timings.  I don't know how paternity leave works in the middle of training.  I do know of someone who took 9 months off but it was after his trades training.
Good luck.


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## TimBit (1 Apr 2009)

newmet said:
			
		

> Well, as long as you are both in agreement that this is for the best then that's all you need.  Like I said already though, it takes 3 months for dependents to be covered by your insurance, so as it sits now your girlfriend and baby won't be covered until you have been in for around 6 months.  Also, as for leave, depends on where you are for the training.  You can always ask for leave but it is probably best not to be removed off basic in the last couple of weeks.  You may be able to arrange time off after basic before your trades training, depending on training and timings.  I don't know how paternity leave works in the middle of training.  I do know of someone who took 9 months off but it was after his trades training.
> Good luck.



Pat leave is, in fact, EI... I know, just returned from it. My thoughts would  be, unfortunately, forget it. In the Public Service, pat leave will not be granted until you have a year in and are off probation, i.e. qualified. If that is translatable to the CF, that probably will mean no pat leave until you are MOS qualified and have a year in, depending on (of course!_) the CF's op requirements.

You can, however, benefit from the generous 4 weeks of leave the CF graces you with to begin your career.


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## Fishbone Jones (1 Apr 2009)

Ask yourself how many people have been deployed and missed the birth of one of their children. Being in the CF calls for extraordinary sacrifice at times. Get used to it. You can only serve one master here.


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## vonGarvin (1 Apr 2009)

recceguy said:
			
		

> Ask yourself how many people have been deployed and missed the birth of one of their children. Being in the CF calls for extraordinary sacrifice at times. Get used to it. You can only serve one master here.


Thank you for posting that.  My good friend here in Afghanistan has a two year old daughter.  Number of birthdays he's been home for?  Zero.


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## PMedMoe (1 Apr 2009)

Midnight Rambler said:
			
		

> Thank you for posting that.  My good friend here in Afghanistan has a two year old daughter.  Number of birthdays he's been home for?  Zero.



Not just tours, either (at least when one is divorced).  I haven't been at a birthday party for my daughter since she was three.  She turns 18 in June.  I'll be there for this one.


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## Journeyman (1 Apr 2009)

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> She turns 18 in June.  I'll be there for this one.


Why Moe? You still can't drink with her at the pub    >


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## Lil_T (1 Apr 2009)

Can too if you take her to Quebec.  ;D


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## JBoyd (1 Apr 2009)

Lil_T said:
			
		

> Can too if you take her to Quebec.  ;D



Or if she lives in Alberta or Manitoba


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## Journeyman (1 Apr 2009)

Attention to detail here people! 

"You still can't drink with her at *the* pub." The pub of choice is, of course, in Kingston Ontario....not Québec, Manitoba, or even Alberta...Ontario.

Kids  :


 ;D


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## PMedMoe (1 Apr 2009)

Journeyman said:
			
		

> Attention to detail here people!
> 
> "You still can't drink with her at *the* pub." The pub of choice is, of course, in Kingston Ontario....not Québec, Manitoba, or even Alberta...Ontario.
> 
> Kids  :



_I_ knew what you meant, but we'll be in New Brunswick anyway.


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## Nfld Sapper (1 Apr 2009)

The you better make the trek to Quebec where she is legal then 

 ;D


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## beach_bum (1 Apr 2009)

newmet said:
			
		

> So, if you're in the field you may not even find out until the end of the week that she has delivered



That is rediculous.  If she delivers a baby, a message can get passed to the mbr in the field.


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## Navyrec (1 Apr 2009)

recceguy said:
			
		

> Ask yourself how many people have been deployed and missed the birth of one of their children. Being in the CF calls for extraordinary sacrifice at times. Get used to it. You can only serve one master here.


We'll be fine. I wouldn't have applied if I didn't agree with you. Ultrasound tomorrow.


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## Fishbone Jones (1 Apr 2009)

Navyrec said:
			
		

> We'll be fine. I wouldn't have applied if I didn't agree with you. Ultrasound tomorrow.



We can close this up then. Good luck.

Milnet.ca Staff


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