# Visiting a Recruit - questions



## girl_back_home (28 Jul 2009)

Hello everyone,

My boyfriend of 8+ years (we've been dating since we were 16) just started Basic at St.-Jean. I was hoping to visit him at some point, but it involves me traveling about 13 hours from Windsor, Ontario to do so.

I sent an e-mail to the visit liaison to ask some questions about the feasibility of a visit. From what I understood, if for some reason the platoon is confined to the base for the weekend, not only can my boyfriend not join me in town, I cannot even go visit him on the base?

I figure someone here might be able to clarify this for me, as I'm feeling pretty discouraged about the prospect of traveling to St.-Jean only to discover I can't even see/speak with my boyfriend once I get there. I thought being grounded meant not being able to leave the base, but that one could still receive visitors...

What are the chances of me getting to see him if I, say, time my visit for the weekend at the end of week 6 of his training? In other words, is it terribly common for recruits to be confined to the base for the weekends after indoctrination?

Also, would it be a better idea if I timed my travel for the last weekend? Meaning, if I attend the end-of-course ceremony, will he have *that* weekend off?

I'd really appreciate some insight, commiseration, advice, and/or experiences regarding visits, if anyone might have some!

Sorry for the length, and I hope my questions don't irritate anyone. I just thought this might be a good place to come for some help!

Thanks,
Aimée


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## Jarnhamar (28 Jul 2009)

For the first little while recruits are not given much in the way of freedom. They may not be allowed off base on week-ends, off base at night or even visitors.

Add to that the army is notorious for last minute decisions. You could be driving 13 hours to see your boyfriend who has a weekend leave pass and a trip planned with you only to find out an hour before you get to see him his leave pass is canceled and he's now allowed to see you.

The easiest answer is just wait until he gets home to see him.
Second easiest answer is to wait until he's been there a while and they are allowed week-end leave passes (for passing inspections and stuff) and then you can attempt to meet him there for a weekend or plan to meet half way.

It's honestly a coin toss. I had a GF drive 8 hours to see me during my recruit training, get to the base where I was then have to turn around and drive home.

You may also want to get his opinion on it. Some guys have a hard time being away from home for the firs time (or with the army) and they get in a kinda army mode.  Having a GF visit them and bring them back to reality can actually be hard on them as far as their state of mind goes.  I've often seen girls drive up to army bases to visit boyfriends and while they miss each other and haven't seen each other in weeks they spend the whole time fighting about stupid things.

He may have the week-end before his grad parade off but he could just as well be in the field doing a final excersise or out partying with the friends he made on course. After the grade parade he should have some time off.


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## Cadaren (1 Aug 2009)

Hello, I'm actually here atm enjoying my week 5 weekend, aka the very first one you get off.  I'll try and answer your questions the best that I can.

Weekends off are really a bit of a crap shoot around here, for instances our PO didn't let us know that we would be allowed out until 1630 yesterday so making plans is difficult.  

If his platoon gets grounded as you say yea you can't come visit, he'll have plenty to do from his platoon staff to correct why they lost their weekend.

If you attend the grad on the thursday, his weekend is going to be spent travelling to the next base for either SQ or PAT platoon.  After that they'll have his take his leave so you two can spend some time then.  I honestly wouldn't count on seeing him much during his 14 weeks here.  If you have anymore questions I'll probably check back in tomorrow then not again until next weekend, provided we don't loose our weekend off  ;D


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## girl_back_home (2 Aug 2009)

Thanks for the replies, I really appreciate it.

Flawed Design, yeah, I've wasted enough time arguing with him at home. I know how precious time off in the military is, so I wouldn't be squandering any of it on fights, believe me!

Still, I'm not much of a gambler, so I'm guessing I'll be staying home. Besides, I'm probably having a tougher time with the separation than he is, though I don't know when I became such a sap... 

Thanks again, and good luck with the rest of your training, Cadaren! Congrats to your platoon on getting your first weekend off! 

- Aimée


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## mariomike (2 Aug 2009)

Whatever you do, don't miss Grad Parade!


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## girl_back_home (2 Aug 2009)

mariomike, will bad things happen if I miss his Grad Parade? lol

Or are you just saying that it's something I should see firsthand?

- Aimée


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## cdnsoldier1982 (2 Aug 2009)

No bad things will happen but Grad day is proud moment may not get a lot of alone time with him but he will definately be on cloud nine that day.  It will be the first of many accomplishments to come.


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## CountDC (5 Aug 2009)

Have to agree - go to the grad.  Even 24 years later I still remember mine and the family members that were there.  and in case you wonder - yeah, we can pick out our family in the crowd and guys are disappointed when no one is there for them.


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## RCDtpr (5 Aug 2009)

BMQ grad is quite an important day.  To give you an idea......I was on the Pre-game parade at the 2007 Grey Cup in Toronto.  60,000 people in the Skydome and however many more watching on TV.......I was probably about 100 times more nervous getting ready to march out onto my grad parade than I was for that one.


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## mariomike (5 Aug 2009)

RCDtpr said:
			
		

> BMQ grad is quite an important day.  To give you an idea......I was on the Pre-game parade at the 2007 Grey Cup in Toronto.  60,000 people in the Skydome and however many more watching on TV.......I was probably about 100 times more nervous getting ready to march out onto my grad parade than I was for that one.



I hope your parents were there.


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## Eye In The Sky (5 Aug 2009)

Holding onto weekend leave passes until late Friday afternoon for Recruit courses is a normal thing.  It was done on my basic in '89, and it was being done when I was an instuctor at CFLRS a few years ago.   Very simply put, it is to motivate recruits to work together as a team, for a common goal, and to give them a sense of accomplishment (or failure) as a team.  It is something tangible for them, short term.  

It does make it difficult for girlfriends, etc to try to "plan" a weekend with their "someone".  I wouldn't agree with the comments of "just forget about seeing him period during BMQ" or that it is distracting even.  If he wants to see you, he'll work for that leave pass and possibly get it.  If you do make the trip, just be ready to get bad news and be able to carry on if you do.  Sometimes, it might be that the candidates are CB'd (confined to base) and you may get a visit at the CANEX/Subway (no privacy, etc) but that is something, and something can be better than nothing.

I agree 100% with the comments about being at his grad parade.  My then-gf was at mine, and man! was I happy about that...even though we did have to go back to the shacks that night with our platoon.

Something is better than nothing...IMO.


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