# Relationships



## militarygirlfriend (27 Jun 2005)

hi i have a few questions about the barricks.

my boyfriend lives in petawawa and from what i have heard from my boyfriends brother there is a lot of infedlity in the military espeically if you live in the shacks?  i have even heard from my boyfriend that there are girls called shack rats that basically go around and sleep with anything in a uniform.  i live in ottawa and thats 2 hours away.  i love my boyfriend but i am worried that these girls will entrice him into doing things with them.  espically on the weekends where practially every one is getting drunk and having a big party?  how do i bring this up with him so he doesn't get mad at me and think that i am accusing him of cheating even if he hasn't?  please help!!


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## kincanucks (27 Jun 2005)

ARMY.CA not Dear Abbey.

Sorry forgot I was in the homefront forum.


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## Cansky (27 Jun 2005)

It boils down to this.   Are you in a committed relationship and do you trust him.   If so then no Shack Rat will be able to change that.   Yes these types of women exist but have faith in him for if you doubt his ability to stay faithful then your relationship is doomed.   My husband is military and so am I.   We spent many years on separate bases and had to trust each other.   But with trust and faith in each other we are now celebrating our 8 wedding anniversary and been together for the last 10 years and friends for 10 years before that.   Not all guy will cheat.   So have faith in him.   And good luck


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## MJP (27 Jun 2005)

I personally liked the first answer better.....second one will do though


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## Gunner98 (27 Jun 2005)

The hardest questions are best asked directly.   "Honey, do I have anything to worry about?   I hear there are lots of parties and drinking in Petawawa.   If you miss me I am always here for you. If you ever feel that all we have shared can be replaced by a one-night stand with a shack rat, would you be so kind as to just be honest with me.   Sexually transmitted diseases are best handled privately, please don't share them with me."   If he cheats on you, then he is just cheating himself.   It is better to find out sooner rather than later.

If he laughs at you then you have a decision to make.   Remember free advice from strangers on a public forum is never guaranteed.   If he reads here then hears it from you.   You will both have a good laugh.


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## Infanteer (28 Jun 2005)

Sometimes I'm convinced that senior members are making profiles to do this and get the rest of us going....


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## kincanucks (28 Jun 2005)

Infanteer said:
			
		

> Sometimes I'm convinced that senior members are making profiles to do this and get the rest of us going....



Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, what an interesting idea. >


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## ArmyGirlfriend19 (28 Jun 2005)

hello, 
my boyfriend has just left for the army, basic trainning a little more then 2 months ago, and i had some of the same worries like every girlfriend does. But that was only at the beginning now i know i have to have complete trust in him. Because if you boyfriend is going to "do it" (cheat on you that is) do you really think  it will not really matter if you talk about it or not. However if you are still worried about it, what i would do that is, is I would tell him b4 he goes to any party TO BE GOOD. And see how he answers that if you are still not convinced I would talk to him then, not about cheating though...I would talk more about trust and where is the realtionship going. The key I that i found that is, is that for a long distance relationship to work you must have complete trust in each other and as well be able to talk about anything that bothers you...therefore if this really really bothers you tell your bF straightout that you have worries and see how he handles it...well i wish you the best of luck..take care jenn


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## GO!!! (18 Jul 2005)

Sorry honey,

As soon as your man joined the army he gave up control over his sexual impulses. He is now reduced to a drooling, single minded, sex addicted zombie, merely awaiting his next opportunity to copulate with anything animal, vegetable or mineral. The shacks are a non-stop orgy of sex, guns and rock and roll. He won't be able to stay true to you 2 minutes, never mind 2 hours that it would take you to reach him. Furthermore, being in the army makes him overly sensitive, so if you approach him about his sexual habits, he will probably start to cry and want to break up.

My advice to you is to show up in Pet at his room and slake his thirst for all things, even if they seem dirty or painful to you, every weekend in order to keep him from looking for it elsewhere.

Hope this helps.  :


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## Roy Harding (18 Jul 2005)

If you're so worried about this that you have to bring it up in a PUBLIC forum, perhaps you need to rethink your relationship, and get a grip on your insecurities.

A person's personality remains basically the same, no matter WHAT they do for a living.  A good, decent person remains a good, decent person whether in a uniform or not.  A scumbag remains a scumbag - whether in a uniform or not.


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## NicoleB (19 Jul 2005)

I am new to this forum, and after seeing how much everyone helped Jenn, i felt compelled to write in.
I am in a relationship with a man in the army. he's been my boyfriend for 4 years now, and everytime he goes away for training, i feel like this is the end. each year we somehow make it through, but this year has just been horrible. when my boyfriend did basic training a couple of years ago, it was the typical thing. he needed me more than anything else, and he wrote me all the time, and phoned whenever he could. when he went away last summer it was the same thing, we talked on the phone everyday. This year he has empoyment in KIngston, and its like i'm an afterthought to him now. is this typical? i try to keep interested in what he is doing, but whenever i ask about his work, is friends, his co-workers, he gets really defensive and wont talk to me about anything. the worse part is he'll get angry whenever i complain, and shut off his phone for days on end so i cant contact him.
Another thing is i have less and less trust in him as the years go by. Every year after he comes home he promises that the next summer he'll stay home, so we can go travelling etc, and then always last minute he announces he's going away. this year was particularly rough since the day after i told him my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, he announced he was leaving for 6 months in ten days.
So basically my question is what do you do, or can you do in situations like this when the trust has been dissolved, and how can you re-open the lines of communication? 
any help or kind words would be greatly appreciated.
*Nicole*


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## ThatsLife (19 Jul 2005)

Nicole, there will be times in your life that go by pretty rough, and you might not like it, but it would be for the best of things in the end.

Now, about what you were saying...

He use to phone you everyday you say? Well I can tell you alittle something...I was going to go regular forces..I promised my girlfriend I would phone her EVERY single day no matter what the situation was....and the reason is...because you're afraid of losing him/her so you want to communicate as much as possible (i'm going Reserves now by the way   ). But now, after four long years you guys aren't communicating as much you say? Well...this is a good thing, considering your trust is not rusting away, but rather it's BUILDING. Let me explain to you why, in a very hard to grasp concept.


I'm going to give you a few situational examples:


1) What you guys are doing now     - 

- Phoning each other everyday with minimal conversational topics considering nothing much will happen in a days time line.

You say he gets mad and disconnects the phone?

There has to be a rational explanation as to why his phone was disconnected. He wouldn't do that to you after four long years. 

But think of it this way--say you guys space out your calls to one another and make it...1-2 calls a week...you guys will have alot of things to talk about as opposed to 'what happened today and what are you doing tonight' kind of conversations. Space out your calls, don't worry about your boyfriend, he'll be half way around the world inhaling dust for 6 months    Don't worry so much, Nicole.

Everything will turn out right     

and ThatsLife     



ps. I'm sorry to hear about your father being diagnosed with terminal cancer.


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## NicoleB (19 Jul 2005)

thank you, thats life for your kind words. I understand what you're saying about spacing out those calls. its hard sometimes, but you're right after four years i should know better by now. 
but i have to add that the disconnected phone was on purpose because my boyfriend addmitted to it, later. it just makes me wonder sometimes if he is trying as hard as i am to make this work.


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## Mappy (19 Jul 2005)

I'm somewhat in the same situation.  My bf is in his last week of training.  He's been gone for almost 9 weeks, and I have had 2 phonecalls, a bunch of text msgs, and 1 email.  For some, thats as much as they get in a week.  I dont really know why he doesn't contact me alot, but I know he is taking this training stuff pretty seriously.  BUT, it is getting quite annoying because, well, 9 weeks with barely any contact has the ability to drive one crazy.  I'm not letting it bother me too much though. HOWEVER, once basic is over, things will be different....or at least I will make them different *cough*

Its a really sticky situation and I really cant say "its going to be alright" or "its over", its a different situation every time.  There is also the whole trust thing that has been in other topics on this board, check those out as well.


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## paracowboy (19 Jul 2005)

NicoleB said:
			
		

> I am new to this forum, and after seeing how much everyone helped Jenn, i felt compelled to write in.
> I am in a relationship with a man in the army. he's been my boyfriend for 4 years now, and everytime he goes away for training, i feel like this is the end. each year we somehow make it through, but this year has just been horrible. when my boyfriend did basic training a couple of years ago, it was the typical thing. he needed me more than anything else, and he wrote me all the time, and phoned whenever he could. when he went away last summer it was the same thing, we talked on the phone everyday. This year he has empoyment in KIngston, and its like i'm an afterthought to him now. is this typical? i try to keep interested in what he is doing, but whenever i ask about his work, is friends, his co-workers, he gets really defensive and wont talk to me about anything. the worse part is he'll get angry whenever i complain, and shut off his phone for days on end so i cant contact him.
> Another thing is i have less and less trust in him as the years go by. Every year after he comes home he promises that the next summer he'll stay home, so we can go travelling etc, and then always last minute he announces he's going away. this year was particularly rough since the day after i told him my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, he announced he was leaving for 6 months in ten days.
> So basically my question is what do you do, or can you do in situations like this when the trust has been dissolved, and how can you re-open the lines of communication?
> ...


if this is all true, he's a dick. Move on. He has.


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## Bomber (19 Jul 2005)

In the words of Snoop, "drop it like it's hot"  This guy is just using you as an anchor at home.  Ditch him and get on with your life.  Turning off a phone is what children do when they stick their hands on their ears and go "la la la".  There are times when things come up last minute, but most of the time everyone is given plenty of time to plan for things.  I imagine that if you have been together for 4 years, you are probably mothering him a lot now, like paying his bills for him and administering him while he is away.  Stop all of that, and move on, cause I think he has.


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## Rebel_RN (19 Jul 2005)

I understand to some extent what you are going through, before meeting my fiance I dated a guy in the Reg's, we were together for 3 years. During that time there were some very tough moments, extended absences can wreak havoc on a relationship. They don't have to though. If you are BOTH committed to one another and committed to the relationship then you will be able to work things out. I realized after 3 years that we were stuck in limbo, not moving ahead and not moving backwards..just plain not moving. So did he, we realized that after awhile we just started to pretend that things were still peachy keen, the letter's and phone calls started to get few and far between and when he did get home we sat down and had a very open discussion in which we realized that we were no longer "right' for each other.

This is just my story, there are many relationships that survive the Forces, many in which one or both are employed by the forces and many in which the relationships get stronger as a result of the forces. The key to these relationships is communication,commitment, trust and a bit of patience. Without these.......It seems to me that your relationship is lacking in some vital areas, perhaps it's time for a very open and honest discussion to see where you both are, how you're feeling and what you want out of this relationship?
Rebel


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## NicoleB (20 Jul 2005)

thank you everyone for your honesty. i do have alot to think about. my boyfriend was home on leave last month, and i had actually worked up the courage to have an open discussion about where the relationship was headed, and if we both wanted the same things. his response, even now, is oh when i come home i'm going to get you a ring and blah blah blah, everything's great, i love you so much yadda yadda yadda. well we'll see wont we. i'm not putting my life on hold for anyone.
this isnt even about the military, this is about the man trying to hide behind his job.


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## Manimal (20 Jul 2005)

don't take crap, you're a pretty girl


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## Shadow Cat (20 Jul 2005)

This is a difficult situation for one to comment on but based on just what you have said here I have to give you my opinion.

I think that you are there for him and unfortunately her isn't there for you the way that you need him too.

To turn off the phone becuase you try to get him to involve you in his life by talking about what he does, his friends, work, etc is very very childish and you should not be punished for trying to take an interest in his life.  Aren't people that love each other supposed to share their life together?  Also by ot telling you anything about his life it leads one to believe that he is hiding something.  Maybe he isn't but it just seems fishy.

Also when did he find out that he was going this summer?  Did ge have more than 10 days notice to get his stuff together to leave or did he just forget to tell you a month before hand that he was leaving in a month?

I think that I would be sitting down and really looking at this relationship.  It seems that he cane come and go as he pleases and you will be going through a very difficult situation in the next little while with your family, is he going to be there to support you?  Someone that loves you will be there to help you through a difficult time.  It doesnt have to necessarily be in person but even the phone.  Sometimes just knowing that they person that you love is there to support you on the phone.

Ultimately the decision to stay or go is yours and there may be other things that we dont know about that could persuade you either way.  Go and do some thinking and let us know how it goes.

Good Luck!!!


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## Springroll (21 Jul 2005)

NicoleB said:
			
		

> thank you everyone for your honesty. i do have alot to think about. my boyfriend was home on leave last month, and i had actually worked up the courage to have an open discussion about where the relationship was headed, and if we both wanted the same things. his response, even now, is oh when i come home i'm going to get you a ring and blah blah blah, everything's great, i love you so much yadda yadda yadda. well we'll see wont we. i'm not putting my life on hold for anyone.
> this isnt even about the military, this is about the man trying to hide behind his job.



I am so sorry to say this to you hun, but ditch the bugger! You do not deserve the abuse he is giving you, and yes it is abuse. 
If you want to meet a nice guy, let me know..I'll hook you up with a guy who will be as committed to you as you are to him.

I'm with bomber o this one "Drop it like it's hot", or in this case, drop him like he's hot!!  :-*


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## NicoleB (23 Jul 2005)

so here's a little update on my soap opera. it went kind of like this...

him: " hello, i just wanted to tell you i love you"
me: " aww thats sweet of you"
him: "I'm really drunk right now"
me: " i need to have a serious talk wit you.."
him: "this conversation isnt making me happy"
me: "ummm k."
him: "im probably not going to remember this in the morning. but I LOVE YOU"

lol. i mean i appreciate the sentiment and all, and at least i can still poke fun at the situation.
and i've discovered a new way to seek revenge in a not so healthy way. he "forgets" to call, i "forget" to pay his bills. maybe he'll get the hint.
or maybe i'm just a glutton for punishment. 
and honey if you read this " I LOVE YOU TOO" ;D

oh yah i forgot to mention that our serious talk has yet to happen


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## Mappy (23 Jul 2005)

Thats funny.....yay for drunken phone calls.  It seems that he is used to you always being there and thinks that you will never leave so perhaps a serious discussion might help.

On my situation, someone at home forgot to pay my bf's cell phone bill, so its been disconnected.  We have been communicating mostly by text msging, so now that his cell is disconnected I have basically zero contact with him.  Also, as of Sunday I have no idea where he is (as his BOTC course is over) which equals fun fun FUN!  He could come home, he might stay at St. Jean or he might go elsewhere, I dont know.  Yay for fustration!


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## paracowboy (23 Jul 2005)

NicoleB said:
			
		

> so here's a little update on my soap opera. it went kind of like this...
> 
> i mean i appreciate the sentiment and all, and at least i can still poke fun at the situation.
> and i've discovered a new way to seek revenge in a not so healthy way. he "forgets" to call, i "forget" to pay his bills. maybe he'll get the hint.
> ...


awright, this is gonna be my last post on this thread: He's an assmunch taking advantage of you. You're a dumbass for taking it. This game-playing crap you're talking about is not how adults solve problems. This ain't junior high, and he ain't at the prom with Suzy Crotchrot. So, either you sort yourself out, then sort his sorry ass out, and get your shit back on track, or pull and punch. Don't whine and make a suck face, then go runnin' around for attention, cowboy up and do it. 
We now return you to your regularly scheduled snivel-fest.

Hope everything works out.


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## Sh0rtbUs (28 Jul 2005)

paracowboy said:
			
		

> awright, this is gonna be my last post on this thread: He's an assmunch taking advantage of you. You're a dumbass for taking it. This game-playing crap you're talking about is not how adults solve problems. This ain't junior high, and he ain't at the prom with Suzy Crotchrot. So, either you sort yourself out, then sort his sorry *** out, and get your crap back on track, or pull and punch. Don't whine and make a suck face, then go runnin' around for attention, cowboy up and do it.
> We now return you to your regularly scheduled snivel-fest.
> 
> Hope everything works out.



AMEN


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## Hunter (28 Jul 2005)

on an exercise in March one of the other medics brought a book with her, called 'He's Just Not that Into You'.  It was pretty funny to read, but at the same time it contained some important truths that eery woman should know.

If he was into you, he might not call you every day but he definitely wouldn't shut his phone off for extended periods of time.  

Get rid of him.  And as a parting gift send him a fuzzy wig, red nose, and oversized shoes because he's nothing but a clown.


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## NicoleB (28 Jul 2005)

you know what? i took the advice of some of the other previous posts, and got my shit together. and i think its all worked out for the best. Thank you to everyone for even bothering to respond.


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## Fishbone Jones (28 Jul 2005)

NicoleB said:
			
		

> you know what? i took the advice of some of the other previous posts, and got my shit together. and i think its all worked out for the best. Thank you to everyone for even bothering to respond.




Hah!!! Who says we're nothing but a bunch of bloodthirsty killers with no redeeming qualities ;D

Another satisfied customer. 

Nicole,

If you wish this thread reopened, PM me.


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## Devi (21 Mar 2006)

Hey everyone, i just registered however i've been reading the forums for some time now.

I will be applying for the reserves soon (maybe reg force in the future - i'm in uni now), but like many people i have some questions. I could not find a direct answer using the search option so i'll make a new topic. 

This question probably applies more to the reg force than the reserves. Anyways, could members of the CF (especially men) please tell me (22 yr old male) how you people hold on to your relationships? How can u possibly go on for weeks maybe even months without seeing your girlfriend/wife/kids? Personally i'm afraid that i might go crazy without seeing my g/f for so long? I hope this next question doesn't sound bad but ... how can you be away from your loved one and the intimacy that comes along? ..... HOw do do cope with not getting laid for a long time? I'm not a pervert ... it's just a human feeling that everyone gets.

I know one of your answers will be don't join if this concerns you. But i just simply want to know what u guys think!

I understand that the army is not for everyone, but please tell me how you cope with all this????? ???

thanks


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## kincanucks (21 Mar 2006)

This has been beaten to death before.  Head over to the Home Front for your relationship guidance.

http://forums.army.ca/forums/index.php/board,49


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## Franko (21 Mar 2006)

I call my field wife "Lefty" and sometimes I dress her up in a mini skirt     ;D

But in all seriousness....it's not that bad. You get used to it..... and the times you are apart...the reunion is even better.


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## Armymedic (22 Mar 2006)

kincanucks said:
			
		

> This has been beaten to death before.



But it feels so good.  ;D


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## Thompson_JM (22 Mar 2006)

Franko said:
			
		

> I call my field wife "Lefty" and sometimes I dress her up in a mini skirt     ;D



Ever spice things up with the Field Mistress? AKA "righty"?

I prefer a little makeup and some perfume myself... really sets the mood while basking in the glow of the Blackout lights

too far?

well I am a trucker... Strange Breed is but one of the many labels WE wear....


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## theseeker (22 Mar 2006)

Cpl Thompson said:
			
		

> Ever spice things up with the Field Mistress? AKA "righty"?
> 
> I prefer a little makeup and some perfume myself... really sets the mood while basking in the glow of the Blackout lights
> 
> ...



or even try alittle 3 way some times i hear the palmala twins will do it......


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## NavyGirl280 (22 Mar 2006)

Okay so I know you wanted a guys opinion ... well growing up I was a tomboy and heres the opinion just the same:

I have been with my husband for a few years now and only married 6 months. When he sails, there is a sense that something in our home is missing for the 1st few days and even though it gets easier to deal with, the house is never quite the same.

I have applied for the reserves myself. And I have thought about the same things you have. I have thought about missing my husband, my children and the intimacy. I can tell you now being away from them will be the hardest but you are also going out there with a job to do and it will keep your mind semi-occupied. You will have the support of the troops and home is never really that far away. With the reserves, you wont be gone nearly as much as if you go with reg force. Training consists of a few weekends here and there and one evening per week, that depending on the area you are in. I believe most are a Thursday evening, but dont quote me. You will go away for a few weeks at a time to do your SQ and other courses but nothing as long (usually) if youre reg force and need to go to St.Jean for a few months. Opportunities will come up for you to take jobs here and there but nothing is set in stone with the reserves that you need to take it. Just know that the longer it takes for you to get your courses, the longer you arent as "employable" to them. 

I honestly think (and I dont think Im alone when saying this) the military is something that you either love or hate. Take it day by day and remember if you do decide the CF, you can always get out. (Reserves a bit easier than reg force)  

Take care (from a fellow tomboy LOL)

S.Bradbury


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## Shadow Cat (23 Mar 2006)

For myself and my husband during the training that he did last year.  We made sure that we saw each other at least every six weeks.  During his BMQ I went up at the half way point for the weekend and went up for his grad in June.  Than he came home for two weeks in August.  The next time that I saw him was for a week in October and than we were finally reunited as a family in November.

It is not easy at first but for me at least I was getting used to him not being around that I was to depressed to even think of intimacy unless I was happily in his arms.  I think that it might be different for the guys though.

If your relationship is strong than you will both make it through the training successfully.


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## Springroll (23 Mar 2006)

_How you people hold on to your relationships? _ 
Well, for my husband and I, our relationship is built on trust and communication. By keeping those connections good, the rest of it seems to fall into place.

_How can u possibly go on for weeks maybe even months without seeing your girlfriend/wife/kids? _ 
The job requires it, that is how you are able to do it.

_How can you be away from your loved one and the intimacy that comes along? _ 
We keep in contact via email and phone calls. Some of those emails can be just as good as having hubby here with me. 
We also write short stories to each other to try and keep the spark alive

_How do do cope with not getting laid for a long time?_
Well, that is part of the benefit of sending the short stories....


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## Devi (29 Mar 2006)

thanks everyone for your input!!!  



			
				Springroll said:
			
		

> _How do do cope with not getting laid for a long time?_
> Well, that is part of the benefit of sending the short stories....



hmmm, i get it.  
But i dont like it!

thanks again!!!!


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## R.Jacquel (18 Apr 2006)

Ok, I probably could have asked this at the recruiting center but didn't want to seem foolish or weird asking. I want to join the reserves very badly to for two reason's to speed up my Police career and to prove to myself that I can do it. Though I have this girlfriend that I have had for 3 years and she just keeps saying "your going to lose your legs", "your going to go over seas and die"

How can I show her that this isn't how it is and that things aren't like the war in Iraq. She also believes that I will be forced over seas and no matter what I will die over there. What are all the pluses to the lifestyle as well as the minuses. And for all the guys who have wives and girlfriends, what have you done to calm them down and help them cope with a job that could possibly kill me.

Thanks again
Ryan


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## Elisha (18 Apr 2006)

There are a few threads on this type of topic already.  Take a look at "The Home Front".  There are a few topics in there that might further your search some more.


It is a different lifestyle...takes a special individual to handle the tours...being away...I guess the lifestyle in general.  There are a ton of support networks from online to right in the community for military spouses (or significant others)

Good luck with the search and the possible career!


Elisha


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## Gunner (18 Apr 2006)

R.Jacquel said:
			
		

> Ok, I probably could have asked this at the recruiting center but didn't want to seem foolish or weird asking. I want to join the reserves very badly to for two reason's to speed up my Police career and to prove to myself that I can do it. Though I have this girlfriend that I have had for 3 years and she just keeps saying "your going to lose your legs", "your going to go over seas and die"
> 
> How can I show her that this isn't how it is and that things aren't like the war in Iraq. She also believes that I will be forced over seas and no matter what I will die over there. What are all the pluses to the lifestyle as well as the minuses. And for all the guys who have wives and girlfriends, what have you done to calm them down and help them cope with a job that could possibly kill me.
> 
> ...



Ryan,

 I won't be as kind as Elsiha because your girlfriend is being irrational. 

I am sure the recruiter told you that, as a reservist, you cannot be compelled to serve domestically or internatinoally without your consent baring an order in council.  One of the amateur lawyers can confirm this, but I believe, you cannot even be forced overseas through the order in council.  If she is still hysterical, take her down to the recruiter with you and ask the nice man or woman to explain what the obligations for service are to her.  

If discussing the situation with a recruiter doesn't work, you may want to consider chalking up three years to experience and dumping her.  You stated you wanted a police career.  What are you going to do when she doesn't want you "walk the beat" because cops are getting shot/stabbed/etc by the bad guys?

My advice, drop her if she is not more supportive after being together for 3 years and move on to adulthood. It will probably be good for both of you.

Cheers,


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## GO!!! (18 Apr 2006)

Gunner said:
			
		

> My advice, drop her is she is not more supportive after being together for 3 years and move on to adulthood. It will probably be good for both of you.



As much as it pains me to agree with gunner, he is right on this one. 

As a reservist, no one can make you do anything here in Canada, never mind overseas. Most reservists (and regular force guys, for that matter) really have to try to get themselves deployed overseas. It does not just happen.

Your girlfriend is being immature, unrealistic, and sounds like she cannot deal with seperation. Don't be the 40 year old sitting there in 20 years saying "I wish I'd done that, but Suzy could'nt handle it..."

Find a girl that is all grown up. Police departments these days are also not keen to hire people whose personal lives appear to be in a state of flux.


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## Gunner (19 Apr 2006)

> As much as it pains me to agree with gunner, he is right on this one.



Young padawan, I'm always right.


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## Elisha (19 Apr 2006)

Oh, I was just trying to be positive for him!  You definatly do not want to be always worry what your significant other is thinking all the time...sometimes its just part of the job...

People I know that have been injured, both pysically and mentally all tell me the same thing...its just part of the job and they would not do anything different...


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## Teddy Ruxpin (19 Apr 2006)

Not so quick, Jedi Master:



> I believe, you cannot even be forced overseas through the order in council.



Not true.  An Order-in-Council can activate the Reserve and place it on full-time status, essentially the same as the Regular Force - with all that means.


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## Gunner (19 Apr 2006)

Teddy Ruxpin said:
			
		

> Not so quick, Jedi Master:
> Not true.  An Order-in-Council can activate the Reserve and place it on full-time status, essentially the same as the Regular Force - with all that means.



Master Teddy, my caveat! 



> One of the amateur lawyers can confirm this, but I believe, you cannot even be forced overseas through the order in council.



To be honest, I seem to recall a QL2 lesson, in the back of my mind, that stated that you could be called up but couldn't be forced to serve overseas....maybe its old age and too many Star Wars movies in my parents basement...

Jedi Master Gunner Windu (let's face, he was the coolest).


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## Redneck052 (17 May 2006)

Honestly....first and foremost is this the sort of question that you and your boyfriend want or need the world to know. Second is you have to ask yourself is how solid is the relationship is based on.  If the foundation that your relationship is built, for example there is an underlining mistrust, you are wondering what he is doing when he is away from you, then your relationship HAS NO HOPE.

YES there are still shack rats, YES there are women that will sleep with men in uniform for kicks, YES there are men in uniform that will sleep with anything in a skirt for kicks.  But unfortuantly, that is the nature of the beast, and that will never change.  Is that your man, is that anyones man that any question about their relationship out their?  

Living the barracks, courses, tours, going on the road is TD. TEMPORARY DUTY! Temporary meaning for a short period of time, if you weather the storm now the relationship will be twice as strong later, if you question him everytime he calls at midnight rather then 2300 hrs, then sweetheart, pack up your things.

My wife and I dated while I was in a unit where I was deployed periodically throughout the year, for a total of 200+ days, we did that for over a year.  I "lived in hotels and lived like a rock-star" she once said.  After getting posted, we moved to our new city, and I found myself back on the road 220+ days and "still living like a rock star in hotels" as she said.  But now I am home.  But my wife trusted me, trusted every word I said, and trusted if I didn't call her.  We have an amazing relationship.  Those here that know me, can share that with you.

In short, build a strong, trusting, bonding relationship when you are together.  When you are apart, don't wory about all the bullshit, and trust him.


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## shaunswife (24 May 2006)

hi,

you have to trust each other, after all it is the military and you will be apart, for course, ex, tours ect.  if you second guess our relationship, your are going to destroy it.

ang


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