# A little help. (personal, no jokes)



## Huggy (17 Dec 2004)

This is going to make me seem like a baby :crybaby: BUT. 

What I have is a messy situation to which I'm not sure how to deal with, I know that personly I would like to enlist in the army but all things given there is more to it.

I have writen a 3 page typed letter to my parents to which I have gone over 50 times and redone it 5 times. It outlines my situation as I see it, and explaines my hart felt feels in what I'm going through. I was going to ask people here to give me their input on the letter by posting it. 
Where would this be posted?  (personal stories, or add it onto this one)


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## scm77 (17 Dec 2004)

I'd say just add it to this one.  Someone will move it if it isn't in the right place.


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## Huggy (17 Dec 2004)

ok... Here it is... 

Its a Long read and I'm sorry about that. 


Dear Mom and Dad,

	I'm sorry that I had to write this in a letter, but I didn't know how to sit down and tell you and I am worried about both of you over reacting.  First off let me say that, I love you both and that you both are amazing parents. I have come to a decision in my life that is a huge step and that I know this is not something to take lightly, please keep in mind that I am willing to talk about it and explain my end of things but also I would like both of you to read the remainder of this letter since I cover a lot of detailed information on why I finally arrived to the decision of wanting to enlist in the Canadian Forces. 
This is something that I have looked into and thought about since high school graduation. I only came to the final decision of bring this up now do to me being a huge disappointment in not achieving passing marks. I know that both of you have been extremely supportive with me going back to Mohawk for a second time and for this I'm thankful but in light of my failing marks I feel not only incredible depressed but less then adequate to move on at college. I spent countless hours working at assignments, lab reports and studying and all my effort was not worth a damn. I wanted so badly to please you dad and nothing would have made me happier then to come home and say that I passed everything. Unfortunately for me life does nothing but kick me while I'm down, so I'm at a point now where I don't want to be a burden to either of you and enlisting will not only let me move on with my life but also let you move on with yours and as the remainder of this letter will point out, my life has been nothing more then a series of unfortunate events.  
As you both well know I have never been one for school, academics have always been something that I fear for a lot of reason, failing, teachers, cost, time just to name a few, plus I am not a fan of Mohawk and there business like attitude. All things given I realize that this is not the best time to inform you of this, with one semester left to go of a course that is poorly setup and I consider to be hell. I would like to take this time to point many things out; I guess it would be best to start from high school graduation. When I was close to being done high school and I had to make a choose of what I was going to do next, I did this knowing that University was not something for me, I just wasn't smart enough to be accepted nor make it through. I figured that the only options that were open to me were that of the military or college.  At the time I didn't know how to bring the subject up of the military and I wasn't sure of how to find any detailed information so I put that off to the side and reluctantly looked at the college catalogs. I read through a lot of different colleges and as far as courses went I was interested in computers, I was not jumping on any band wagon, I didn't care what the market dictated all I was thinking was that I had to get an education and that I was good at and enjoyed computers as well as being interested and willing to learn more about them.  In my first semester of computer I considered myself to be an eager young student in a good college with a lot to look forward to. As the course progressed, I worked hard and tried my best to keep on top of the work; yes I had a great deal of setbacks. I failed, English, Math, and a Unix class, this was most upsetting to me and I dealt with it the best way I knew how, I did push up until I couldn't feel my arms and bottled up any emotions left over. What I found most surprising was how the both of you reacted to my missed classes, and letter from the school, at least in front of me. Dad you basic said, as long as I finish the course, that there is no shame in failing anything. That was it, after that you left me along to pick up classes at night school while in full time day school nothing said. Mom you didn't say much at all you would check in to make sure everything was going well and that I was fine and that was it.  To me this was all I needed to move on, a little wisdom and little helping hand, so I pressed on and picked up all my missed classes.  When I graduated from computer networking, I honestly couldn't remember the last time I was as happy, not only for completing the course but for finally getting out of Mohawk and becoming an active member of the working force, so I hoped. At this point I updated my resume and started looking for work, wasting no time. I was not only more then happy being out selling myself, meeting new people and potential employers but I could wake up in the morning with pleasant thoughts, which I haven't been able to do for along time. I graduated in the beginning of February 2003 and a approximately a couple week after that I heard nothing but, â Å“Why not go back to school and take something in the trades, you'll always have work.â ? Every day this subject came up and every day that I waited for a phone call from a resume I passed out, just so I could have good news to tell you when you came home from work. I waited and nothing happed, I passed more out and waited only to keep hearing the same thing, â Å“Why not go back to school, and become an electrician like your dad.â ? The more I heard this, the more I realized that you were right, I wasn't going to get a well paying job in the field that I enjoyed, that the only thing left for me to do was to bring up the military but again the words were not there and the background information was still being compiled. So I sat in my room and became extremely depressed, thinking back there was more to that bout of depression then just thinking of heading back to that damn college. It was a combination of everything that happened or didn't happen to that point. Things like taking 3 years to do a 2-year course, not finding a job which allowed me to move on with my life, being 23 and not having a girlfriend at any point in my life, being 23 and still being supported by my parents and a big one was trying out for the Binbrook volunteer fire department, twice and both time not getting past the first stage. I personally found that hard to take, Dan and I worked together reading what ever we could find and studying everything we found again I worked hard and failed, I guess I should have learned my lesson but I tried again. Studying and working with Dan, this time knowing what kind of question will show up, and again failed. Once again there I was looking at the damn college catalogs, this was something that I didn't what to do but I didn't see much of a chose. The both of you were completely supportive, to which I am grateful for. I was in a unique situation where I was able to continue my education, live with my parents, and be 100% supported by my parents, and not every person has that kind of opportunity. Along with this opportunity came a lot of responsibility to which I took on with a both mind and body, unfortunately the body was weak, out shape and the mind was tired as well as burned out. I knew this was no excuse so I pressed on taking this opportunity, hoping for a new and better experience at Mohawk. Again was this something that I wanted to do? Yes and no a complicated answer for a simply question. Every day dad you brought the subject up of becoming an electrician, and tried explaining to me how it would be in my best interest, while you and mom were still working and I had no bills or commitments. You spoke about it with such enthusiasm and I pay attention to what you said and it made sense. When I tried rationalizing it, I came up with three things. One was the fact that I had the opportunity; the second was that it was only another two-year course, and the third was that I have been working with and around hydro from a young age so how hard can it be. So I did it, I was not happy about it, at all, but you were dad, which took some of my miserable-ness away but ultimately I was the one who had to sit in the classes and do all stupid and pointless work. This brings us to the somewhat present times of the first semester Electro Tech course.  When I start the course I fixed my attitude and went in with a smile and thinking positively, that lasted till about the end of the first semester when the big upset came, I once again failed math. Was I surprised, no but for some strange reason you were dad and you did nothing but give me a hard time at it. I passed everything I even had an A and A+ in that semester, I was happy about that but it didn't seem to madder to you, you were stuck on the damn math. That's when my eyes opened and realized that this was going to be extremely exhausting not only at school but also at home. I really didn't know what to think of you dad when never we went out somewhere, ham radio places or you meet someone you knew, it went two ways the introduction of this is my son Darrell he's going to Mohawk studying to be an electrician like his dad, said with a smile, and the unforgettable reply to the question of, 41years way are not retired? I still have a son in school.  I'm not only your hopeful electrician but also your unfortunate excuse for not living your life.  Everyday the pressure gets me, now and then for the past two semesters at lest, I'll wake up and wonder how fast I would have to drive the car over the escarpment to break through he guard rails.  I do not like thinking these things but I also hate disappointing you and mom by once again failing and having you put everything in your lives on hold just because your son is a dumb ass.  You shouldn't have to put up with me nor support me when I'm 23years old and already have been through college once, even I know your only supposed to get one kick at the can. Dad if you want to retire go for it, you have paid your dues twice over and I don't want to keep you from anything, same with you mom. I know one of the things both of you have told me over the years, is that you want to see Christine and myself succeed. Christine is on her way to becoming a teacher and she hasn't had an easy go but I have been at Mohawk five years straight with no end till 2006, maybe. 
This letter is how I truly feel and I know that both of you have put a lot of money into me going to college and I do plan on paying you back. I have not enlisted yet but I have done a lot of research and I do know the steps to take to make this happen. I also realize that it will be a lot of work once I'm there, I feel that this is what I need physical work along side with mental work and structure. I have looked at all my options and as far a military career goes I have been looking at Electrical Line Technician 052. Once I do enlist, I still have testing to do which means that nothing is in stone but I do want both of you to know how I feel, that this has in no way anything to do with either of you, and I am truly sorry.
I do except that there is a lot going through your minds at this point and that both of you would have a lot of questions and concerns. I have enclosed just some of the research I have done in hopes that this will answer some of your questions.  Once both of you have gathered your thoughts and have settled down. I am open to any discussion and any options that you see open but once people start to argue, I'm no longer listening. Remember that this is not easy for me either; I'm the one who end ups going through what ever the final decisions is. 


With Love,


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## Meridian (17 Dec 2004)

Wow.. first suggestion - paragraphs. 

I personally think it is hard for any of us to really comment on a personal letter between yourself and your parents... Only you really know what you think, and their worries and your relationship with them. 

The best advice I can give you is to consider your reasons, make a decision based on the best information available, suck it  up, ruck on...  

Also...  one note I do see, others have mentioned before... the forces isn't about avoiding academics.... you will spend time learning, reading, writing and doing tests.... it may not be based on traditional academic topics.. but there is plenty you will learn, and not all of it is necessarily practical....   (Just so you are ready to expect that first test in BMQ)

Cheers, and good luck.


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## Ghost (17 Dec 2004)

Why not just tell them that you are joining the army.

Its not an easy thing to do but you gotta break the ice sometime.

Its probably better just to tell them in person because they are gonna want to speak to you about it after they read the letter anyways.

The whole process of joining takes a few months so you are gonna have to deal with the situation especialy if you live in the same house.


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## mdh (17 Dec 2004)

Huggy,

While I think all of us have gone through tough times (you should see my academic record   :), I am not sure it's a good idea to post such an intensely personal letter like that on the board - none of us are really in a position to give you that kind of advice. As for telling your parents about a decision to sign up I think that's rather different in terms of tone and content.   There have been a few posters on this board who have had trouble with parents who didn't want their children in the military - you may want look to it up on previous threads. 

PS I do agree that it's a very courageous post


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## Michael Dorosh (17 Dec 2004)

I admire the poster's bravery for letting us see this intensely personal letter, and indeed, into his very heart.  I suspect bravery like that will serve him well in the Forces.  Good luck.


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## Shaynelle (17 Dec 2004)

I agree with Michael.  Your letter is fantastic and I guarantee your mother will be emotional after reading it, probably your father as well.  If they are upset about you wanting to join they can't remain upset forever, and things will get better.

And yes, add a few paragraph breaks. Think more whitespace, easier on the eyes.  Good luck.


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## ab00013 (17 Dec 2004)

First off, all parents are different so I don't know how yours would react. But why not just go down and write the aptitude test? What harm would that do? You won't be going behind their back, just checking to see if there is a possibility of getting into the Canadian Forces kind of like attending a school open house. 

If you pass then you can bring home a list of occupations that you are suitable for and it will open a discussion with your parents so they can get involved in the process. If you don't pass then you can decide what you want to do next, either keeping studying and try again or decide that the CF isn't for you.

Anyways, that's my opinion but as I said about all parents react differently.


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## Huggy (17 Dec 2004)

Thank you ever so much for the words of advice. It all means a lot.
As for the paragraphs, I do have set up in paragraphs its just the way it was copied and pasted. 

To address some points. 
Ghost:


> â Å“Why not just tell them that you are joining the army.
> Its not an easy thing to do but you gotta break the ice sometimeâ ?



Your right. But its not all that easy for me.   For me to walk up to the old man and say â Å“I'm enlisting in the army!â ? well..... history has shown me that he don't take things that easy. He is 61 and has been working as an Electrician for about 41 years, I'm 23 and have been going to college for 5 years. To him is just like me going up and saying â Å“I give up, I'm taking the easy way outâ ? and then kicking him in the teeth.   To me this is the more difficult way out and a way bigger commitment then paying tuition. 

Sometimes I wonder if I should just fill the paper work I have out and leave it in a place he will easily see it, so he can start the conversation but that sure a shoot'n wouldn't give me a chance to get a word in, it would be a one side conversation.

Meridian:


> â Å“Also...   one note I do see, others have mentioned before... the forces isn't about avoiding academics.... you will spend time learning, reading, writing and doing tests.... it may not be based on traditional academic topics.. but there is plenty you will learn, and not all of it is necessarily practical....    (Just so you are ready to expect that first test in BMQ)


       

I'm not avoiding academics its more like, I'm trying to move on with my life before I find myself being 30 and still in college and introducing myself to people as a, career student, still asking mom and dad for cash to pick up that class I missed by 10%.   Also and I don't really believe this but from the way dad talks about it he's holding off his retirement till I'm done school. So I'm kinda sick of having that over my head so I'm letting him move on with his life. 
Please keep in mind that again this is something that I personally feel I can do and want to do. So it's in no way dodging anything it just has its sub-reasons.

Mdh:


> I am not sure it's a good idea to post such an intensely personal letter like that on the board - none of us are really in a position to give you that kind of advice



I had nowhere else to place it or to get input, sorry. 
Some time all one needs is a little fragment of advice from people who have either been in a somewhat similar predicament or even just someone to point out a different way of looking at the situation that maybe one hasn't seen. It don't take much to help, just a different point of view and little train of thought.   

Shaynelle:


> I agree with Michael.   Your letter is fantastic and I guarantee your mother will be emotional after reading it, probably your father as well.   If they are upset about you wanting to join they can't remain upset forever, and things will get better.



Thanks. 
Well that is true, I guess time does heal.   The thing is I would feel better and I would think do better if I had the support of family. + a little thing that I never said.
My sister ran off and go married, in her 2 year at University, with out my parents knowing or me for that madder, my dad took about 3 years I think just to really get over it and even to this day he still gets upset over it now and then. So... 

Ab00013:


> First off, all parents are different so I don't know how yours would react. But why not just go down and write the aptitude test? What harm would that do? You won't be going behind their back, just checking to see if there is a possibility of getting into the Canadian Forces kind of like attending a school open house.



Good idea.
Your right, I might just do that. thanks.


Again Thank you all.... 
Please any feels on this PM or just post 'em.   :-\


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## mrosseker (18 Dec 2004)

I agree; go do the aptitude test, and then take it from there.

I commend you for your courage to post such a personal letter, and I understand how you feel about needing advice about your situation. I didn't go through what you have been through, but I definitely had a hard time telling my mom about my choice to apply for the CF. I'll give you the same advice that she gave me;  
The forces will be one of the hardest things that you've ever had to go through, and you have to be committed to sticking with it. Make sure you do some serious soul searching before you sign up, because if this is a quick fix, it will be the worst 3 years of your life.

Oh, and if you do apply, don't quit school. You'll be waiting a while.


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## Tracker (21 Dec 2004)

Huggy

Your personal letter to your folks took me back 20 years to a time when I had finally graduated from High school, it took me an extra year.  I had no idea what the future held for me except I was not going on to post secondary education, even if the opportunity was there.  

I ran away and joined the Army.  Back then it only took a month to do the processing because I had chosen a distressed trade.  I called my Mother two weeks into basic, she was relieved to finally hear that I was alright, but dissappointed that I had chosen to be a "bum in the army."  

Like I said, that was 20 years ago, in that time I have found my wife, we are still married, I have two children, four tours overseas and have changed from a kid who lacked self confidence and direction to a career soldier.  I can lead a section of soldiers or I can stand in front of an auditorium of 500 high school kids and sell the CF.  It didn't take long for my parents to see the change in me, I became a man who walked with my head up, I took responsibility for my actions and I was confident in everything that I did.  Today, they are proud of me and the decisions I made.

I am not suggesting that you run away and join the CF, but if you are truly interested in the CF, it can be a great career.  Do the test, if you don't make it, take a math course and try again.  Keep trying and don't quit.


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## Huggy (21 Dec 2004)

Thank you all for the words of advice. It all means alot

at this point I'm still doing alot of reading and asking alot of questions to the people at the Recu. Office. as well as any connection I man have. its not an easy thing.


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## combat_medic (22 Dec 2004)

Huggy,

No one will know your situation or your parents better than you. If you feel this is the best course of action at this point in your life, then you should make it, however if you're doing it out of an act of desparation because you feel you can't get a job elsewhere, then you might end up being miserable in the army, and should consider a different path.

The only advice I can give is that you do talk to your parents before you've signed up. If you leave without letting them know, or only provide the letter for them once it's too late to go back, you may live to regret it. Your parents may try to talk you out of it, or they may be supportive of you, but take the time to sit down with them before making any rash decisions. If you burn bridges with your family, then the army can be a very lonely place. Go to your parents with all the information you're able to get from the recruiting office. Tell them about the opportunities for advancement, the post-secondary education opportunities, and the chance for travel. I'm sure they're only looking out for your welfare, and if you can convince them that you would be happy and successful in the army, then they will have a much easier time letting your go.

My two cents, take them for what they're worht.


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## sm0ke (22 Dec 2004)

...I think your folks would be well served to read something like this very thread, if they're worried about you joining the forces.   Look at the positive replies, solid advice, and unbiased encouragement you've received, in response to a very personal and emotional   statement.   This goes to show you the type of people you would be serving with - your parents should be proud you are considering joining the ranks of such a fine group of people.


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## chipdudeman (22 Dec 2004)

Huggy, I can sympathize with your situation somewhat, I had fininshed my schooling and then decided without a doubt that the CF was for me. My mother did not take this well and neither did my father but both came around when they had seen what it meant to me. Whatever you do make sure this decision to enlist is not a passing feeling and always talk to your folks about any info you recieve from the CFRC. I can tell you the tears dry up the day you swear in and the area is filled with pride. As for working with the finest people in Canada, if it was easy to get in everyone would be doing it!

My two cents worth.........

Spence


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## Laps (22 Dec 2004)

Huggy,

From what I understand, you only have one semester left to graduate?  If this is the case, do yourself a favour and finish it!!!  This is probably what every recruiter will tell you.  And during that lousy last semester, at least you will have something to look for.  Also, this will look really good on your application form!!!

As far as the parental issue goes, I think that your parent just need some military "education".  If you dad is in his 60s, he probably sees the military as either :

a) some type of a reform institution where they send problem kids
b) a place where people die at wars.

Now a day, the CF is neither.  Don't get me wrong, you will still be a soldier and be put in harms way, but it is not WWII or Korea anymore.  Being in the CF really is an honnest way to make a living.

At the same time, I will agree with most of the other posters, in that learning will not stop as you sign on the dotted line.  I probably spend more time training, studying and spending time away on courses than I spend "at work"; so don't come in with false expectations.

If you really want to be in the Forces, man go for it.  The worst that will happen might be your parents "dissapointed" for a while, but when they will see you move on, enjoy your life and job, I am sure that their dissapointement will turn into joy...

All in all, I want to wish you good luck.

Cheers!


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## jmackenzie_15 (22 Dec 2004)

Huiggy,

when I joined the CF, my father was supported because he just wanted  me to work, but my mother was strongly opposed and still is to this day.As somebody else stated, she has sort of a "bum in the army" complex going on.Its been the source of many a heated argument.Im happy that I enlisted, and ive found it to be a very rewarding job, and one taht builds alot of character.

At the end of the day, you have to do what is best for you, and do with your life what you wish, not what everyone else thinks you should do.

" I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody "


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## Sheerin (28 Dec 2004)

Its a good letter, and like everyone else I comend you on your courage for posting it here.  I would suggest that you take some of that courage and sit your parents down and try to have an open and frank discussion with them.  Chances are it may get fairly heated, but given enough time I'm sure your parents will accept your decision.  Just make sure that this is what you want to do...

And if you're going to give that letter to your parents I'd suggest you proof it a little more.  I noticed in several places you used the there when you should have used 'their'.  Its a good letter, just has a few of those common mistakes.  
Also while you're proofing it it helps to read the letter aloud, its a nifty little trick to find sentences that just don't work (be it because of flow, poor wording etc).
[
Good luck with your future endeavours.

- Sheerin


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## xterra rat (4 Jan 2005)

Your courage to post your letter is a testament to your character. I am in the army reserves on BMQ and I would be honoured to serve with you. By the way I am married and joined when I was 34 and had to tell my WIFE and JOB my plans. I know how you feel. Hang in there.


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## BDTyre (5 Jan 2005)

Huggy, your parents seem a lot more rigid on the subject than mine.  I still have not told my parents about my application, mainly because the last time I brought up the military the response was "You're not joining."  End of discussion.  This is odd, considering 5 years ago when I left high school, they were all for it.  I've decided to wait until I've got my swearing-in booked; that way I'm pretty much already in and they can't attempt to discourage me.


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## Huggy (7 Jan 2005)

Thanks for all the words of wisdom, they all mean a lot.
Just to tuch on some posts.


Laps
[qoute]From what I understand, you only have one semester left to graduate?  If this is the case, do yourself a favour and finish it!!!  This is probably what every recruiter will tell you.  And during that lousy last semester, at least you will have something to look for.  Also, this will look really good on your application form!!!

As far as the parental issue goes, I think that your parent just need some military "education".  If you dad is in his 60s, he probably sees the military as either :

a) some type of a reform institution where they send problem kids
b) a place where people die at wars.

Now a day, the CF is neither.  Don't get me wrong, you will still be a soldier and be put in harms way, but it is not WWII or Korea anymore.  Being in the CF really is an honnest way to make a living.[/qoute]


To be honest with you my dads attitude \ outlook is not so much that. My dad would be more inclined to look at the money issue. As a electrician I would be looking at a starting wage of about $40,000cdn to $45,000 and after I get my ticket it would be more like $65,000 and after that if get my masters ticket its like $80,000 so my dad would just be looking at what I'm giving up and he would care an feelings to sever ones country he's more into material items. Sad but true.


Jmackenzie_15


> when I joined the CF, my father was supported because he just wanted  me to work, but my mother was strongly opposed and still is to this day.As somebody else stated, she has sort of a "bum in the army" complex going on.Its been the source of many a heated argument.Im happy that I enlisted, and ive found it to be a very rewarding job, and one taht builds alot of character.
> 
> At the end of the day, you have to do what is best for you, and do with your life what you wish, not what everyone else thinks you should do.
> 
> " I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody "




This seems to come up a lot, and I understand what you all mean by it, your right in the end its what I want to do. My hanging point is that I was raised with â Å“respect thy parentsâ ? sort of attitude, which gets in the way more then it helps. Don't misunderstand me I'm not a big church person, not that there is anything wrong with being one, but you know.

Sheerin


> Its a good letter, and like everyone else I comend you on your courage for posting it here.  I would suggest that you take some of that courage and sit your parents down and try to have an open and frank discussion with them.  Chances are it may get fairly heated, but given enough time I'm sure your parents will accept your decision.  Just make sure that this is what you want to do...
> 
> And if you're going to give that letter to your parents I'd suggest you proof it a little more.  I noticed in several places you used the there when you should have used 'their'.  Its a good letter, just has a few of those common mistakes.




Thanks for the look over, I'm going back to fix it up.
I'm also thinking that your right I might be better off rewording the letter, making it sorter and more to the point and sit down with them as they read it, and just have this letter as a sort of backup if things do get heated. 


Xterra rat


> Your courage to post your letter is a testament to your character. I am in the army reserves on BMQ and I would be honoured to serve with you. By the way I am married and joined when I was 34 and had to tell my WIFE and JOB my plans. I know how you feel. Hang in there.



Thanks
How did your wife take the news?


Bdtyre


> Huggy, your parents seem a lot more rigid on the subject than mine.  I still have not told my parents about my application, mainly because the last time I brought up the military the response was "You're not joining."  End of discussion.  This is odd, considering 5 years ago when I left high school, they were all for it.  I've decided to wait until I've got my swearing-in booked; that way I'm pretty much already in and they can't attempt to discourage me.




Well my mom is not really a problem in this madder, she seems to see it as it is my life and if this is what I want then go for it. But my dad is a different store he is more focused on money, life, items owned, etc. 
At what point do you have to tell them? Like aren't you worried about having your parents pick up the phone and there is the Lt. Smith asking for you from the enlisting office?


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## hajdut777 (7 Jan 2005)

Huggy,
I went through something very similar to what you are describing.  Hang in there and show your parents your rationale for joining the CF.   Start with Money and your ability to support yourself if you get in as a Line Tech in the CF versus Industrial Electrician..
   
About the myth of your starting wage at 40k-45k -- I am assuming that you live in Hamilton area since you attend Mohawk?  To become an electrician or at least get signed on as an apprentice in the area  -- 9 times out of 10 (unless you have an uncle or contact in Dofasco's Electric Utility Dept.) you will have to go through the IBEW 105. They will peg you at 40% of a journeyman's wage which when I was in my first period amounted to 10.76$/hr. and you are capped at 40 hours a week...(do the math, you are going to have to struggle with far less than 40k$ a year!!! There is little growth in the area asides from the project at the new continuous tandem mill at Dofasco which should dry up all the local jobs in the area around May 2005....And also expect to do nothing related to your trade at least until you hit your 3rd period -- this system is not the most conductive (no pun intended) for learning -- for 2 months straight I was directing a stupid all terrain forklift as opposed to learning about electricity....

Also, if you do go through the 2 year Electro-Mech Tech program at Dofasco the wonderfull IBEW and all its wisdom will credit you absolutely nothing towards your apprenticeship (regarding hours) forcing you to start as a first period apprentice...(You are only exempt from taking the Beginner and Intermediate classes during your release)...  Also explain to your father about the long periods of unemployment while on the wait list at the Union Hall after finishing a job (some people wait 6-9 months on EI) none of this time is taken off your 1200hours per period....Unlike the CF you will have constant employment....A better starting wage, without the sneaky union politics....You will be contributing to something positive as well -- representing your country.


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## Wizard of OZ (7 Jan 2005)

I do agree with most of the others that have taken the time to read your post.  And i encourage you to look to the CF for your futrue.  But be fore-warned

"Unlike the CF you will have constant employment....A better starting wage, without the sneaky union politics....You will be contributing to something positive as well -- representing your country." 

 The CF itself has sneaky politics, and you will not always be doing something that you may want to be doing.  Yes you will be contributing to your country and yes you will make a fair wage but it does come with a price, as do all things in life.  I hate to use the American saying but the army is not just a job it is an adventure.  To this i mean it is a way of life.  To all who read this you may or may not agree, but in my opinion it is.  It is engrained into us.  Not a bad thing and it is not always negative. 
 I do encourage you to look into the CF it can be a great place for you.  But i hope it is not to run away from problems as the CF is not a real good shield it is more like a strainer when it comes to that sort of thing.

Best of Luck


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## bossi (7 Jan 2005)

Huggy,
Your decisions, and the reactions that happen as a result of your actions, are something that YOU will have to live with.
Therefore the main thing that matters (to YOU) is whether or not YOU can live with your decisions, actions and possible reactions.
We're all strangers here - do you have a close family friend, or relative, who could and would stand by you during this?
(i.e. it's okay to do stuff alone - sometimes necessary - but having backup or reinforcements can be a good thing ... especially in the context of a situation where you're writing a letter ... and even more so in the context of a situation where you may believe that a letter is necessary ...)

Whatever you decide, good luck.


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## my love my life (8 Jan 2005)

Dear Huggy,

I have just joined this board and read your letter to your parents.  There are so many things I want to say to you I don't know where to start.  I guess I'll start by saying that I am the mother of two sons - now in their 30's - neither has joined the military like their father.  We have always supported our sons with the decisions they have made - even if we didn't quite agree with those decisions.

What I got from your letter was that like most parents, yours love you very much and want better for you than they had for themselves.  That's what all parents want.  College and/or University isn't for everyone.  Some are cut out for it and some aren't.  I only have a Grade 11 education but I have tons of life experience and I've just released my third book (two about the military lifestyle from the spouse's point of view)  I share that with you because I've seen too many parents pushing their children into higher education that isn't right for them.  Granted the more education you have hopefully, the easier it will be to find a job - but you only have to read a newspaper to see how many well educated people have been laid off - so education is not the only key to success.

You are old enough to make your own decisions and if your heart is telling you that the military is what you would like to try then I say go for it.  I do hope that you feel a little better just putting your thoughts on paper and I hope you do give that letter to your parents.  They will probably be hurt at first but give them time to absorb the entire letter's contents and I'm hoping they will come to see that you need to follow your own path.  

As parents we hope we can shield our children from all hurts and protect them - have them learn from our experiences, but everyone has to make their own experiences and learn from them.  Personally, I would be hurt receiving such a letter because it would show me that my son(s) didn't feel they could come and talk to me - but after that feeling subsided, then I would love my son more, for loving me and my husband enough to open his heart in the way that you have.

Don't be so hard on yourself or on your parents.  You have much to offer the world and you will find the path you are meant to follow.  You need to stop trying to please your parents and please yourself.  Good luck with your decision - you'll be in my prayers.   Cheers, Dianne


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## Armymedic (8 Jan 2005)

Dianne,

Welcome aboard, if I may be the first of the senior members on the board to welcome you. Your perspective will be welcome in any discussion.


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## AndrewD83 (9 Jan 2005)

I kind of disagree with everyone else's advice of sitting your parents down to have a formal discussion about you joining the army.  Why cause so much worry and friction in your family at such an early stage?  

I would very casually say that a CF recruiter was in your school and you had a quick chat with him and now you may check out the CF just to see what it is about.  (bring in some brochures and papers and what not from the army about various trades you are interested in and leave them hanging around in your room or on the kitchen table etc.)   

Or that you where talking to a classmate who is in the army and you where interested by his experience from the army. (bring up various good points about the army like the education, courage, money, discipline, stress handling abilities, leadership skills etc.)  This way you can safely mention the good experiences from the army...so when you bring up the fact that you may want to write the exam they will at least have that positive information about the army before they jump all over your decision.  (plan it so that you tell them the some positive points about the CF... than at a later date mention you may visit the recruiting center to write the exam.  Basically give your parents something to digest first about the army with letting them know you down right want to be hired.  At a later date show more interest in the army... make it seem very casual).

Either that or go write the exam, do the physical and get your medical done first... if you make it through all of those than tell your parents that you are interested in a career in the army.  The army has high standards of recruiting... and they have no problems with rejecting people for a long period of time or even permanently.  God forbit, but if you don't make through these stages at least you are saving yourself and your parents from a difficult, stressful talk (or argument) about you wanting to join the forces.

As a few of the guys above mentioned... recruiting is a very slow process, don't quit your day job and complete your education... you'll have plenty of time to do it. (the forces probably won't hire you until you finish your education...at least that was my experience.)

Best of luck to you...and keep us up to date on your application!  All the best with your parents.  I am sure which ever way you tell them they will support you eventually.

On a quick side note...don't let failures get you down.  EVERYONE fails at something eventually, just be thankful for what you currently have (like your job for one) and realize things could always get worst (like you dating a possessive girl friend!)


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## jimmy689 (9 Jan 2005)

Huggy,

  A long letter and a very heartfelt one to boot.  Give your parents the respect they deserve, don't take that as a slight but I think you talk to them face to face, explain the letter, ask for their understanding and see what comes out of it.  Sometimes we think we know our parents and bam, they surprise the hell out of you.
  By the way Lineman 052 is a physically demanding trade that has a lot of math involved during the initial stages of trg.  They have instructors there to help you through but don't let the recruiters BS you, math is a component of any trade within the communications branch.  Don't think too much about it ................. go and talk with them


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## BDTyre (9 Jan 2005)

Huggy said:
			
		

> Bdtyre
> 
> Well my mom is not really a problem in this madder, she seems to see it as it is my life and if this is what I want then go for it. But my dad is a different store he is more focused on money, life, items owned, etc.
> At what point do you have to tell them? Like aren't you worried about having your parents pick up the phone and there is the Lt. Smith asking for you from the enlisting office?



Its quite easy actually.    I applied about a week before I was married, and I simlply put my new address and phone number.  Trust me, it would be much harder if I still lived with my parents.   (And no, for those who think I took the easy way out, I did not apply when I was pretty much moved out just to avoid telling my parents.  I applied when I did at the urging of my wife.)


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## Huggy (10 Jan 2005)

I love this, so much interesting info and so many interesting people. So to address some items here.
Hajdut777


> Huggy,
> I went through something very similar to what you are describing.   Hang in there and show your parents your rationale for joining the CF.     Start with Money and your ability to support yourself if you get in as a Line Tech in the CF versus Industrial Electrician..
> 
> About the myth of your starting wage at 40k-45k -- I am assuming that you live in Hamilton area since you attend Mohawk?   To become an electrician or at least get signed on as an apprentice in the area   -- 9 times out of 10 (unless you have an uncle or contact in Dofasco's Electric Utility Dept.) you will have to go through the IBEW 105. They will peg you at 40% of a journeyman's wage which when I was in my first period amounted to 10.76$/hr. and you are capped at 40 hours a week...(do the math, you are going to have to struggle with far less than 40k$ a year!!! There is little growth in the area asides from the project at the new continuous tandem mill at Dofasco which should dry up all the local jobs in the area around May 2005....And also expect to do nothing related to your trade at least until you hit your 3rd period -- this system is not the most conductive (no pun intended) for learning -- for 2 months straight I was directing a stupid all terrain forklift as opposed to learning about electricity....
> ...



See I learn something new all the time. With all the research I did before entering into this process (Mohawk college) I never asked any questions that begged a response like that. I would like to think info of such is IMPORTANT!!! And would be expanded to new students, BUT NO!! Mohawk is a business that really don't care what happens to you after the fact, they have your money and that's all they ever wanted. NUTS!!!! Thanks for heads up.   If its possible and if you have the time could we maybe meet up on MSN or something like that. If your in the Hamilton area maybe give you call??? PM me let me know please.

Wizard of OZ


> The CF itself has sneaky politics, and you will not always be doing something that you may want to be doing.   Yes you will be contributing to your country and yes you will make a fair wage but it does come with a price, as do all things in life.   I hate to use the American saying but the army is not just a job it is an adventure.   To this i mean it is a way of life.   To all who read this you may or may not agree, but in my opinion it is.   It is engrained into us.   Not a bad thing and it is not always negative.
> I do encourage you to look into the CF it can be a great place for you.   But i hope it is not to run away from problems as the CF is not a real good shield it is more like a strainer when it comes to that sort of thing.



I'm 23 and I know there is no way to elude politics its all over. I'm not running away from anything, people seem to bring this up all over the place. I look at it as I'm starting a life becoming my own person. 23 years of banging my head against the wall and know with a big bump on my head and a hole in the wall I see myself needing (not wanting) something but just not sure how to make it happen.

Bossi


> Huggy,
> Your decisions, and the reactions that happen as a result of your actions, are something that YOU will have to live with.
> Therefore the main thing that matters (to YOU) is whether or not YOU can live with your decisions, actions and possible reactions.
> We're all strangers here - do you have a close family friend, or relative, who could and would stand by you during this?
> ...



This is my decision and trust me I'm willing to live with the possible reaction but I'm trying to avoid as much as possible the likely reaction, from fear of making family life ever more difficult not only for me but others.


*My love my life*
This post really got to me, its so true and yet its just so hard to bring myself to suck-it-up and sit down to talk with my dad.
I'm going to play cut and paste with your post just so I can highlight points * I strongly recommend that people read her post as a whole not just my clips*



> What I got from your letter was that like most parents, yours love you very much and want better for you than they had for themselves.   That's what all parents want.   College and/or University isn't for everyone.   Some are cut out for it and some aren't.



your right or that's what my dad keeps saying any ways, but he's been instilled with a particular outlook on life which I imagine is, that there is one way to be successful in life, and that's getting the best education you can (school), and once your successful your happy because your education will lead you to a successful career, and all the rich you need in life. I guess it's the 1960's perception. So to try dealing with that would be a futile effort.



> You are old enough to make your own decisions and if your heart is telling you that the military is what you would like to try then I say go for it.   I do hope that you feel a little better just putting your thoughts on paper and I hope you do give that letter to your parents



I feel that I am old enough to make my own decisions but the way I was brought up, was in a fashion of, If in doubt don't, which works to a point and keeps one out of trouble but later in life shows up as a disability usual called procrastination (?I think I spelled right?)
As a child my dad also told me to check with him over anything, so if I wanted to do something or buy something with my money I would make a decision (my own) and go check with dad, coz he told me to, so I would and he tell me the complete opposite to the decision I made and give a big lecture on why he's right. 

Thank you so much for your view point.
If I may ask what were the titles to your books? PM me please if you don't feel right posting that's kind of info. 


AndrewD83


> I kind of disagree with everyone else's advice of sitting your parents down to have a formal discussion about you joining the army.   Why cause so much worry and friction in your family at such an early stage?
> 
> I would very casually say that a CF recruiter was in your school and you had a quick chat with him and now you may check out the CF just to see what it is about.   (bring in some brochures and papers and what not from the army about various trades you are interested in and leave them hanging around in your room or on the kitchen table etc.)



Well I was thinking of same thing myself. Because something like this would cause friction for sure, that maybe a understatement. A lot of things factor into this that is incredibly hard to put on screen or put into words. You are all right it is in the end what I want to do, it is my life but if I can find a simple or just a solution to make other peoples life (mom, dad, family in general) a little more relaxed then super I'll take that approach rather then BAN! I'm joining the army.

Jimmy689


> A long letter and a very heartfelt one to boot.   Give your parents the respect they deserve, don't take that as a slight but I think you talk to them face to face, explain the letter, ask for their understanding and see what comes out of it.   Sometimes we think we know our parents and bam, they surprise the heck out of you.
> By the way Lineman 052 is a physically demanding trade that has a lot of math involved during the initial stages of trg.   They have instructors there to help you through but don't let the recruiters BS you, math is a component of any trade within the communications branch.   Don't think too much about it ................. go and talk with them



Jimmy I don't mean there to be disrespect, but yes sitting down and talking with them is as I see it the ideal situation but my dad he does most of the talking and none of the listening, thus a letter at least he can read it over and over again and get the 'just' of it before talking even then its going to be a one sided issue. 
As for the math I understand that it is part of it, but I'm more then willing to learn if I have someone willing to teach. 

Bdtyre


> Its quite easy actually.     I applied about a week before I was married, and I simlply put my new address and phone number.   Trust me, it would be much harder if I still lived with my parents.   (And no, for those who think I took the easy way out, I did not apply when I was pretty much moved out just to avoid telling my parents.   I applied when I did at the urging of my wife.)


I see, did they call you a lot?
Where the conversation over the phone long?
I ask because I have a pay as go cell phone and I'm wondering if I can just give them that number and just that as a contact number, I can get a answering service put on it.


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## Huggy (11 Jan 2005)

I was hoping to get you all input into something from a parent's point of view.
I am having this on going dilemma in my head where, I feel that I really should sit down with my parents (particularly my dad) and level everything out with him. I know by telling him that I vary much dislike my life in its current condition and showing him that letter along with some information on the army, that this will have a overload effect on him where he will start crying and arguing with my about his life and all the sacrifices he has given up for his children (I can see this happening). Which I (not to sound rude or anything) don't need to hear nor do I feel that I have any right to put him through that, but it just feels like the right way to go.   On the other side of the coin I have a situation where I can try to get through as much of the process as I can until its come to a conclusion where I'm sworn in and its necessary to tell him. (which to you the truth I'm not sure if its possible to keep it from him that long, you know phone calls, mail etc.)
Also what do you think about that letter, is that adequate? Or again from a parent's point of view should I maybe retype a shorter letter that is more to the point and less historic (for lack of a better word) that letter is my true feelings but sometimes I sit down and read over it, only to think to myself that my farther wouldn't get past the first paragraph before he had some 'question' and the rest of letter would be unnecessary, once he started talking. 
        
Also and this just happened all of 2 min ago. 
My dad found a informational CD for the CF laying out, and started saying.
And I quote. â Å“you wouldn't join the army would you?â ? without me answering he just keep talking â Å“You know those poor buggers spend there life and live on a base some whereâ ? and then he said good night and went up to bed.   I am really confused....


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## camochick (11 Jan 2005)

I have been reading over this thread, well most of the posts anyhow, and to me the answer is simple. You are 23, you want to join the CF, whats the problem. Parents get pissed off, parents dont always agree with our choices, parents sometimes dont speak to us for awhile because of the dumb things we do. But the thing is, if they love you , eventually they will get over it. Life is way too short to be stressing yourself out like this. You have to do what you want before it is too late. Yes, your parents have taken care of you and totally deserve your respect, but you are an adult, its time to cut the apron strings and venture out on your own. Tell them your plans and stand firm, if this is what you want then this is what you have to do.


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## HollywoodHitman (11 Jan 2005)

One of the things about becoming an adult is that you make a decision based on what you think is right. Your parents will likely support you if you make an informed decision. If your dad is saying 'you wouldn't join the army would you?' then think about the reasons you'll give him, if it's something you want to do.

The ability to make a decision is one of the things we look for in the military. You make decisions every day and you live with the consequences. Ensure you're educated enough in what the military lifestyle is, and what it will take for you to be successful in that endeavour. If you're looking for an easy way out of 'real life' then the military isn't it. Geographical cures do not work. Institutional cures do not work either. In the CF, you have bills to pay, you work long hours and noone thanks you for your hard work. You get the satisfaction you need by knowing you did a good job. 

My advice to you would be to stop sitting on the fence. DO IT. If you sign up for 3 years, you at least come out with some life skills and memories, not to mention the lifelong friends you'll make. Consider your parents for sure, but consider your own interests as well. Everyone has to leave the nest sooner or later. Pleasing your parents is important to you which is nice, but you cannot live your life for your parents. i am sure they want the best for you, but you also know what will fulfill you. 

Best of luck


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## atticus (11 Jan 2005)

Hi, just a suggestion but if you have that discussion with your parents and it doesn't go as planned why don't you take your dad down to a CFRC. When I applied to the reserves the recruiter spoke to my parents about it, and put at ease alot of the things they had on their minds. I even found out that my mother phoned and asked the Sgt. questions about basic training while I was away doing it. I know that it would be different with the regs but there is many CF members at the recruiting centre who would help. Anyways, good luck


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## jmackenzie_15 (11 Jan 2005)

Listen to HollywoodHitman, he is wise


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## BDTyre (12 Jan 2005)

Huggy, I wouldn't see a problem putting a cell as a contact number.  Depending on how often you are home, it may be better for you.  I have a cell, but never listed that number because a) I got it after applying and b) most of the time it sits on the shelf at home or in my locker at work.

The conversations with CFRC were generally not long, and they would only call you when necessary.  In fact, most of my communication with my recruiter has been via e-mail.


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## Sh0rtbUs (13 Jan 2005)

Heres a little trick I've learned. Make a subtle joke about joining, or someone else joining and observe their reaction. By their reaction, you can then determine which is the best course of action, and whether you have anything to worry about in the first place.

That goes for mommy, dad on the other hand just needs a little information, so provide. Communication is key....


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## Huggy (13 Jan 2005)

That's a good trick and I have done it. (wasn't a joke but just random comments)
Moms reaction was a little different then what I was thinking. she stopped  what she doing and looked at me and started a conversation on the subject of the army and the CF and general. 
Dad well to say all he needs is information is a little bit of a under statement. He needs a lot, he is completely misinformed and has a over all BAD outlook on everything to do with the CF. To supply him with info. (talking to a recruiter, reading paper work, reading this site) would be a effort that wouldn't work, this I can say with confidence since I have all ready tried sliping in little facts about army life and he is vary fast on debunking anything I say and then he spends the rest of the day all pissed off and given me lectures on what he believes are all the negative points of a army life. I refure to the last post I made above.

My dad found a informational CD for the CF laying out, and started saying.
And I quote. â Å“you wouldn't join the army would you?â ? without me answering he just keep talking â Å“You know those poor buggers spend there life and live on a base some whereâ ? and then he said good night and went up to bed.  I am really confused....


Thanks for time in thoughts into this situation.


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## Fusaki (13 Jan 2005)

I also agree with Hollywood Hitman.

Your folks might not understand now, but chances are they will understand eventually. When one of my best friends joined, his parents expected him to drop out of Basic, come home, and get a "real job". Today he's a Corporal with 6 years in, happily married, and he still loves going to work. His parents couldn't have wished for anything better for him. Even if they never understand (and some never do), the fact remains that you're old enough to take responsibility for your life. If you join, you will no longer be dependant on your parents for a place to live and food to eat. 

But if you don't join, thats fine by me. The army needs men and women who can take action, and be accountable for it. If thats not you, then don't even bother applying. But if YOU choose to take your life in your hands then IT WILL BE your emancipation, which I think is something you've been craving for awhile now.


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## camochick (13 Jan 2005)

Ok, this is going to totally sound insensitive and I'm sure I will get tons of backlash for it but I'm going to say it anyhow. You're 23, you're an adult, just join if you want to. I don't see why this is such a big issue. If your parents don't agree then that is their issue not yours. They will have to get over it or else risk not having a relationship with you. It seems to me that you are maybe afraid to join and go out on your own. It's time to cut the apron strings, you're 23, just join if thats what you really want. If you keep doing what your parents want you to you'll never get anywhere in life, and you will wake up in 20 years not ever having been independant. It's time to crap or get off the pot. >


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## Huggy (13 Jan 2005)

camochick said:
			
		

> Ok, this is going to totally sound insensitive and I'm sure I will get tons of backlash for it but I'm going to say it anyhow. You're 23, you're an adult, just join if you want to. I don't see why this is such a big issue. If your parents don't agree then that is their issue not yours. They will have to get over it or else risk not having a relationship with you. It seems to me that you are maybe afraid to join and go out on your own. It's time to cut the apron strings, you're 23, just join if thats what you really want. If you keep doing what your parents want you to you'll never get anywhere in life, and you will wake up in 20 years not ever having been independant. It's time to crap or get off the pot. >



No Backlach here Camochick. You are Right  but keep in mind I'm afraid of being out on my own. heck I embrace it. For me the choice is simple enlist me now. Trying to get the old man to come to terms that in my current conduction am not happy with the direction of MY life and that it is MY life, not his is not easy. I would perfur to rock the boat and try not to tip it. I figure that there is got to be a way, to deal with a difficult man and not give him a heart attack.


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## McG (13 Jan 2005)

Huggy said:
			
		

> should I maybe retype a shorter letter that is more to the point and less historic


I would suggest you talk a little more about the future so that they can feel comfortable knowing that you've thought this through (and that it is not just a reaction to your past).   However, with out knowing your parents, I cannot tell you what they need to be told.   I can comment on form.   While that may seem cold in light of the thread, I think it will improve the reception of your letter.

1) Use more paragraphs.   Your letter is large and may contain information that your parents will find overwhelming.   Don't make it look overwhelming in shear bulk of words.   Your first two and last paragraphs are okay.   Make the other paragraph into many, and reorganize them so that each deals with a specific argument or theme.   Consider these themes: 


Lack of Academic Success
Desire to start your life
Desire not to disappoint your parents
Where you want the military to take you

2) Use an introduction like would have been expected in high school.   You do state right from the start that you have decided to join the CF.   That is good.   Include a summary of the arguments (or the themes) that will follow.   It might help your parents see where you are going with each argument as you make it.   

3) Use MS word and use its spell check and grammar check features.

As I said, these comments may be cold but will improve the reception of your letter (if that is the choice you take in the end).   I will reinforce the suggestion that you speak to your parents yourself.   Your letter may not have answers to all the questions they will want to ask.   You will.


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## camochick (13 Jan 2005)

I say throw the letter out, go do your testing, and when you get in, tell them that this is your choice, like it or not they are going to have to accept it or risk alienating you. You  will kick yourself in the arse for the rest of your life if you dont do what you want to do. MY parents havent always approved of my choices but I am an adult therefore they are my choices to make. I guess my appoach to this would be too bad mom and dad I'm doing what I want cause I am old enough to make my own decisions. THen again I have always been independant and I came from a household where my parents basically let me do what I want as long as I wasnt getting into trouble. I have always lived by just doing what I feel is right for me. Just do it, stop talking about it, stop stressing and just do it, life is way too short. >


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## BDTyre (13 Jan 2005)

camochick,

Your parents sound much like mine.   I think my mistake was bringing up the topic around the time the Iraq war started.   I always have this excellent sense of timing. ;D

I think my parents just don't want to see me grow up.  When I announced my plans to marry, they didn't seem to take it seriously at first.  Its a unique family situation, considering my sister, despite being older, seemingly won't grow up no matter how hard they try.

My father is still under the impressions that very little physical fitness is required to join the reserves.   The son of one of his acquaintances is in the reserves, (a support position, I believe he is in logistics) and attempted to join the regs.   He failed his fitness test for entry to the regs and didn't get in.   I mentioned that everyone went through the same process, and my father was under the impression that you could basically walk into a recruiting centre and walk out a member of the reserves.

I didn't bother to correct him; let him be impressed when I tell him the recruiting process.


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## sirex (13 Jan 2005)

Huggy said:
			
		

> This is going to make me seem like a baby :crybaby: BUT.
> 
> What I have is a messy situation to which I'm not sure how to deal with, I know that personly I would like to enlist in the army but all things given there is more to it.
> 
> ...



dude, I dont know... that letter is powerful. i dont know if youve showed them yet, but maybe you should try and enlist first and see if you can make it in.. 

what do you do if you dont makei it?


Aslo, I thought i might say I feel as if I am in a similar situation. Trying to get into university right now. I am a nervous/worried wreck and i too am on my extra year of high school.  I think you should enlist first, see if u can get in as to not devastate your self more.. 

becase hoesntly, if i poured my heart into something like that and then tried to make it, and didn't I dont know what I would do.. and last hting you need to do to your self is getting in your car and doing something stupid over at that brinde/ guard rail you were talking about it... 


anywaey man just be careful, try your best, and good luck. dont do something you might regret.


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## HollywoodHitman (13 Jan 2005)

At the end of the day, you've gotten some great input from people with alot of experiences of their own, time in and from all sorts of backgrounds. As I mentioned in my previous post, it's time to cut the cord and do it. Make a decision. Either way live with the consequences. Your parents may not be happy with you, or the may be extatic. Surely they will, as all parents do, reluctantly let their child make a decision and wait to see how it turns out. It's life. They will unlikely disown you, shun you or stop loving you for trying something new. 

You cannot stand at the door of the aircraft much longer without someone booting you out the door. Get some stones and DO IT. You cannot second guess yourself each and every time you are presented with a choice to make, in life or in the CF. If you do, you're a noodle and probably lack the intestinal fortitude and self confidence we're looking for in the military today. I don't want to be in a trench somewhere while the communist hordes are pouring over the hill somewhere while you, my fireteam partner decides whether he wants to be there or not...........

You seem like a good kid. Concerned for his family and whatnot. Time to make a decision Son, and live with the consequences. I think once you finally commit yourself to your decision, you will find some inner peace and you'll probably feel a little better looking yourself in the mirror when you shave in the morning.

Best of luck to you.


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## Huggy (14 Jan 2005)

Well.... The out come to all this is as follows.

The letter is being revised, to include MCG's suggestions, where it will include a better (positive) look on military life, for my dads benefit. I shall also lay out my intentions from start to finish. I don't plan on quitting school, since (thanks to all of you) I have heard that enlisting is nothing more then a waiting game, this I never knew. I will continue to ask questions, look for new information and work on my physical fitness to better myself, and I will be here to help other in making decision and pass any knowledge on that I have found here and in my walk of life.  

Thanks to you all for passing some of your knowledge in my direction and helping me in my time of uncertainty. 

Yes I know Camochick, cut the strings.  ;D


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## Huggy (16 Jan 2005)

Well what I have done, is cut that 4 page letter in half using every ones advice. I will post it below and please give you $0.02.  
Keep in mind if I can get away with it I was planning on doing the testing and getting my trade list before handing this to the parents. I would like to know if I can get in a electrical spot before I capsize the family boat.

*Does any one know the number that I left blank in RED??*

Dear Mom and Dad,


	I'm sorry that I had to write this in a letter, but I didn't know how to sit down and tell you and I am worried about both of you over reacting.  First off let me say that, I love you both and that you both are great parents. I have come to a decision in my life that is a huge step and that I know is not something to take lightly, also please read the remainder of the letter since I cover a lot of detailed information on why I finally arrived to the decision of wanting to enlist in the Canadian Forces particularly in the Army as a Electrical Distribution Tech. 
	I know that both of you have a lot of issues shrouding the Military life and the Army in generally so I compiled some information in different areas. A lot of this information can be supported from data sheets that the military makes available, also from talking to people at the recruitment office as well as talking to people that have been through it and some that are going through it. I have taking the time to do my research and have been thinking of this since high school so I am prepared for what can be ahead.   
Off the bat I what to make perfectly clear that a lot of the process of joining the military is a waiting game so I don't intend to quite college, unless I have to, from some unfortunate events or unreasonable people.  I do realize dad that your dream for me was following in your footstep, working at Dofasco as an Electrician, this was never my dream. I would like to become an electrician but I would like to take my own path and make my own footprints, which the military allows me to do. 
I hope the following will answer some of questions and put to easy some of your concerns. I would image that both for have issues over subjects such as money, life style, obligations, training, and life after the military. When it comes to the kind of wage I would make being in the military, I have a sheet that outlines all salaries. The pay scale is in accordance to the rank and occupation held by the individual, so as one progresses through the ranks over time so does your salary. When you first start and are sent to off to basic training you are making approximately $------  . I do realize that this is not a lot but you also have a lot of your expenses paid for and all so have full medical and dental plans which take care of a big portion of expenses. When it comes to life style, there is a big switch, which would take a little time for any one to get use to. They start you for every day at 5:00am, which covers getting dressed, inspection from your drill sergeant and breakfast. Then from 5:30am till about 6:00pm is all training which covers a lot of physical demanding work as well as class room setting lectures and field practice in topic like: services knowledge, first aid, small arms handing, map reading, safety and survival in the field, upkeep of quarters and personal appearance. For any concerns over obligations I found the biggest myth is once you enlist you are there for life, this is in no way the case. Enlisting in the regular forces does not obligate you in any way to stay. The training that I would receive in the military is considered to be some of the best and I would be on my way to becoming a qualify electrician once past basic training. There really should not be any concerns about what happens after the military. There is a lot of opportunity to excel in the Canadian Forces and better ones self. All this stuff are things that I look forward to and embrace.
      I would imagine that this comes as quite a shock to you but this is something that I feel need to be done. Mohawk is not working out and I will be overwhelmed with joy when I'm out of that place. My decision to inform you of this didn't come easy, I was planning on going through the process, doing all the testing and signing all the papers without telling you until I got a shipping out date. After talking to a lot of people about their experiences in the same madder I was told that my best action was to inform you of my intentions and if you were not on board with me, that was just to bad.  
       You might be asking yourself why I just out of blue I bring this up. For me there is a long history behind it, which I would be more then happy to tell you about, but all things given I just felt like my life is lacking a lot of direction, also that college is not giving me any of the skills that I feel are need to be productive in any walk of life and that certain events in my life have lead me up to this decision such as taking 3 years to do a 2-year course which never amounted to anything, being 23 and not having a girlfriend at any point in my life a lot of that was due to school, being 23 and still being supported by my parents which I am extremely grateful for. Dad you did not make this decision easy for me in any way just from my point of view I was never really given much of a choice. Every day after I graduated my Networking and Hardware, dad you brought the subject up of becoming an electrician, and tried explaining to me how it would be in my best interest always saying to me â Å“Why not go back to school and take something in the trades, you'll always have workâ ? you were always so eager to introduce me as your son who is going to Mohawk studying to be an electrician like his dad, said with a smile only to turn around and explain to people that your still working because you still have a kid in school. I'm not only your hopeful electrician but also your unfortunate excuse for not living your life. 41 years working, you have more then paying your dues, but your not living a life and that my fault, to which I am sorry.
        With all my thoughts and feelings laid out I hope you can understand where I am coming from and I hope I have your support in this endeavor but if not I am sorry but this is my decision and in the end my life, to which I don't want to interfere with yours.


Always with love your son
Darrell


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## JBP (16 Jan 2005)

The area in red, is about $2000.00 a month, minus some taxes etc etc and room and board. Until your trained in your respective MOC, then your pay goes up I believe because you'll have some "Spec pay" due to your MOC... Don't quote me on that though, I'm too new to know anything positive except for Basic as a private it's about $2000.00 a month minus some stuff...

[Edited for bad information.  Most trades do not recieve Spec Pay.]


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## DM (22 Jan 2005)

What parent wouldn't be proud of a son that was taking charge of his life and committing to work hard in his chosen career and cared enough that he wrote such an honest letter to them? Follow your dream!


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