# THE FIRST (& SECOND) WORLD WAR(S), BAR FIGHT VERSION



## Danjanou

An alternative approach to teaching history…

*Are You Looking at My Pint?*

Germany, Austria and Italy are stood together in the middle of the pub, when Serbia bumps into Austria, and spills Austria’s pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit, because there are splashes on its trouser leg.

Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view.

Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can’t afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for cleaning Austria’s trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

Austria asks Serbia who it’s looking at.

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene.

Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action.

Britain and France ask Germany whether it’s looking at Belgium.

Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.

France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.

Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it’s on Britain’s side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings, because Britain made Australia do it.

France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken, and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany’s fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.


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## Biggoals2bdone

You fuzzy on your history?  Last time I checked Canada was in WW2.


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## Danjanou

Biggoals2bdone said:
			
		

> You fuzzy on your history?  Last time I checked Canada was in WW2.



Really? Good to know that all the assorted medals my numerous  Uncles received between 1939-45 were not picked up on eBay. I realize my 
Military history Degree does come from MUN, but even they could tell the difference between First and Second (most Newfs can count that hight).

Did you misplace your sense of humour this morning? :


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## Fishbone Jones

Biggoals2bdone said:
			
		

> You fuzzy on your history?  Last time I checked Canada was in WW2.



Remind me again what part Serbia played in WWII?


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## RHFC_piper

Biggoals2bdone said:
			
		

> You fuzzy on your history?  Last time I checked Canada was in WW2.





			
				recceguy said:
			
		

> Remind me again what part Serbia played in WWII?



What does WWII have to do with "THE *FIRST WORLD WAR*, BAR FIGHT VERSION


BTW; good story.


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## medicineman

Glad I finished eating before I read that...though I do have to ask, since the Diggers managed to get noticed in this, why didn't we?  Guess we got lumped in with the Americans again...:stirpot:

Now to lie back and watch the tracers going by overhead ;D.

MM


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## Pusser

Maybe the point was that Canada was in the bar fight too and in fact at one point jumped over the ridge of the bar and knocked Germany down after both Britain and France had tried and failed to do the same thing.  Unfortunately, because Canada was dressed like Britain and sounded like America, everybody forgot that Canada was even there.


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## medicineman

Or maybe someone got the dates confused and thought we were just hanging out with blue ball caps on, drinking our beers and watching it all happening with a WTF look on our faces?

MM


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## Fishbone Jones

RHFC_piper said:
			
		

> What does WWII have to do with "THE *FIRST WORLD WAR*, BAR FIGHT VERSION
> 
> 
> BTW; good story.



That was my point


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## vonGarvin

Pusser said:
			
		

> Maybe the point was that Canada was in the bar fight too and in fact at one point jumped over the ridge of the bar and knocked Germany down after both Britain and France had tried and failed to do the same thing.  Unfortunately, because Canada was dressed like Britain and sounded like America, everybody forgot that Canada was even there.


:rofl:  

Best reply yet!


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## vonGarvin

recceguy said:
			
		

> Remind me again what part Serbia played in WWII?


Some of them helped the Germans by joining the _7th  SS-Freiwilligen-Gebirgs Division Prinz Eugen_, for starters.

 >


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## the 48th regulator

Biggoals2bdone said:
			
		

> You fuzzy on your history?  Last time I checked Canada was in WW2.



 :rofl:

I am glad that you fight the myth that for WW2 Canada's did not play a *small* role , in this tome about WW1...

However, it's not the only thing that is "very small indeed". 

Your brain, for example, is so minute, Baldrick Biggoals2bdone, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.


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## OldSolduer

Biggoals2bdone said:
			
		

> You fuzzy on your history?  Last time I checked Canada was in WW2.



You would be the fuzzy one.


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## KnightShift

the 48th regulator said:
			
		

> :rofl:
> 
> 
> Your brain, for example, is so minute, Baldrick Biggoals2bdone, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.



Awesome....I can't wait to use that one!


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## a_majoor

The only thing missing is Britain has all its soccer hooligan friends (Canada, Australia, India etc.) jump Germany as well....


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## Biggoals2bdone

So in my haste I pressed 2 instead of 1 while typing, sue me, we were in both wars eitherway, and played significant roles at that. I'd say NOT mentioning Canada in WW1, is worse then not mentioning them in ww2, because popular historical opinion is that THAT is where we really made our mark (passchendaele, Vimy, etc) as well as earning nicknames from the Germans.


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## vonGarvin

Perhaps in the name of National Pride a line could be inserted thusly:
"England had Canada behind him throughout, supporting his mighty punches.  Finally, "little" Canada had enough and bashed Germany's teeth in with a hockey stick, knocking him back  from his Vimy Chair, from which Germany had failed to be budged by either France or England."

And, of course.
"Though America was a late comer and was kicking Germany in the junk as he lay prostrate on the floor, few seemed to notice that Canada and Australia had already taken the sausage out of Fritz's hand and shoved it firmly in his face, continuously, for the last 100 seconds of the brawl."


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## the 48th regulator

Biggoals2bdone said:
			
		

> So in my haste I pressed 2 instead of 1 while typing, sue me, we were in both wars eitherway, and played significant roles at that. I'd say NOT mentioning Canada in WW1, is worse then not mentioning them in ww2, because popular historical opinion is that THAT is where we really made our mark (passchendaele, Vimy, etc) as well as earning nicknames from the Germans.



    "Once upon a time there was a lovely little sausage called Baldrick and it lived happily ever after." 

Visual presentation of this thread


dileas

tess


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## kratz

Biggoals2bdone said:
			
		

> So in my haste I pressed 2 instead of 1 while typing, sue me, we were in both wars eitherway,



NO!

I call bull$hitt.

IMO your post was WWI and backtracking to WWII is a handy revisionist convenience.


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## Michael OLeary

Biggoals2bdone said:
			
		

> So in my haste I pressed 2 instead of 1 while typing, sue me, we were in both wars eitherway, and played significant roles at that. I'd say NOT mentioning Canada in WW1, is worse then not mentioning them in ww2, because popular historical opinion is that THAT is where we really made our mark (passchendaele, Vimy, etc) as well as earning nicknames from the Germans.



Please review the definitions of Satire, and note that factual accuracy is not one of its fundamental requirements.

It's one thing to make a mountain out of a molehill, it's quite another to make an effort to scrape enough crap together to make a molehill just to call it a mountain.

If you really feel that no specific mention of Canada is such a travesty, feel free to write your own version, but don't forget anyone: Participants in World War II



> * 2.1 Albania
> * 2.2 Andorra
> * 2.3 Argentina
> * 2.4 Armenia
> * 2.5 Australia
> * 2.6 Austria
> * 2.7 Azerbaijan
> * 2.8 Bahrain
> * 2.9 Belarus
> * 2.10 Belgium
> * 2.11 Bolivia
> * 2.12 Brazil
> * 2.13 Bulgaria
> * 2.14 Canada
> * 2.15 Ceylon (Sri Lanka)
> * 2.16 Chile
> * 2.17 China
> * 2.18 Colombia
> * 2.19 Costa Rica
> * 2.20 Croatia
> * 2.21 Cuba
> * 2.22 Czechoslovakia
> * 2.23 Denmark
> * 2.24 Dominican Republic
> * 2.25 Ecuador
> * 2.26 Egypt
> * 2.27 El Salvador
> * 2.28 Estonia
> * 2.29 Ethiopia
> * 2.30 Fiji
> * 2.31 Finland
> * 2.32 France
> o 2.32.1 Free French Forces
> o 2.32.2 Vichy France
> * 2.33 Georgia
> * 2.34 Germany
> * 2.35 Gibraltar
> * 2.36 Greece
> * 2.37 Guatemala
> * 2.38 Haiti
> * 2.39 Honduras
> * 2.40 Hong Kong
> * 2.41 Hungary
> * 2.42 Iceland
> * 2.43 India (Including Pakistan & Bangladesh)
> o 2.43.1 Andaman & Nicobar Islands
> * 2.44 Indonesia
> * 2.45 Iran
> * 2.46 Iraq
> * 2.47 Ireland
> * 2.48 Italy
> * 2.49 Japan
> * 2.50 Korea
> o 2.50.1 Provisional Government of the Republic of Korea
> o 2.50.2 Korea under Japanese rule
> * 2.51 Laos
> * 2.52 Latvia
> * 2.53 Lebanon
> * 2.54 Liberia
> * 2.55 Liechtenstein
> * 2.56 Lithuania
> * 2.57 Luxembourg
> * 2.58 Malaya
> * 2.59 Malta
> * 2.60 Manchukuo
> * 2.61 Mexico
> * 2.62 Monaco
> * 2.63 Mongolia
> * 2.64 Morocco
> * 2.65 Nauru
> * 2.66 Nepal
> * 2.67 Netherlands
> o 2.67.1 Netherlands East Indies
> * 2.68 Newfoundland
> * 2.69 New Zealand
> * 2.70 Nicaragua
> * 2.71 Northern Rhodesia
> * 2.72 Norway
> * 2.73 Oman
> * 2.74 Palestine
> * 2.75 Panama
> * 2.76 Paraguay
> * 2.77 Peru
> * 2.78 Philippines
> * 2.79 Poland
> * 2.80 Portugal
> o 2.80.1 Portuguese Timor
> o 2.80.2 Macau
> * 2.81 Romania
> * 2.82 Samoa
> * 2.83 American Samoa
> * 2.84 San Marino
> * 2.85 Saudi Arabia
> * 2.86 Singapore
> * 2.87 South Africa
> * 2.88 Southern Rhodesia
> * 2.89 Soviet Union / Union of Soviet Socialist Republics
> * 2.90 Spain
> * 2.91 Sweden
> * 2.92 Switzerland
> * 2.93 Syria
> * 2.94 Thailand
> * 2.95 Tonga
> * 2.96 Transjordan
> * 2.97 Turkey
> * 2.98 United Kingdom
> o 2.98.1 Channel Islands
> o 2.98.2 Isle of Man
> o 2.98.3 Northern Ireland
> * 2.99 United States of America
> * 2.100 Uruguay
> * 2.101 Vatican City
> * 2.102 Venezuela
> * 2.103 Yemen
> * 2.104 Yugoslavia


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## Pusser

Thucydides said:
			
		

> The only thing missing is Britain has all its soccer hooligan friends (Canada, Australia, India etc.) jump Germany as well....



Canada isn't much a soccer hooligan, BUT both our national sports involve carrying sticks!


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## ArmyRick

This is pretty good. We need a sequel bar fight that for WW2 though, any takers?


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## OldSolduer

ArmyRick said:
			
		

> This is pretty good. We need a sequel bar fight that for WW2 though, any takers?


After a few years, Germany has a few pints.....


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## Fishbone Jones

.....and starts sucking up to Russia......


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## Pusser

...and decides that it doesn't want to pay for the pints that France insists it owes.  Then it insists that Austria is its brother and that they and Italy are really best friends...


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## a_majoor

Jim Seggie said:
			
		

> After a few years, Germany has a few pints.....



Glaring angrily about the bar, Germany saw Britain and France huddled in the corner trying not to make eye contact. Italy had already been marching around the bar, challenging everyone to step outside, but there were no takers. America had left the bar some time ago and no one was sure of where America had gone.

With nothing better to do, Germany challenged Soviet Russia to an arm wrestling match at the Spanish table, while Japan was in the back room taking a pool cue to China.


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## ModlrMike

...meanwhile, Germany moved into its brother's house, and decided that the Sudetenland would be a god place to build a nice, new living room...


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## medicineman

Isn't this about the time that Germany and Japan were trying to figure out if they were in fact distant cousins?


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## OldSolduer

Canada was across the room next to the USA...


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## Haggis

....trying to borrow some guns.....


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## a_majoor

Armwrestling over, Germany goes to the bar again and orders another pint and one for Austria. Glancing over to Czechoslovakia, Germany says, "Hey, nice shirt. I want it".

Before Czechoslovakia can jump from the bar stool and take a swing, Britain walks over and stands between the two, saying, "Can't we just get along? Come on, now, Czechoslovakia, just the shirt, that's all"...

Humiliated, Czechoslovakia hands over the shirt, while Britain walks back to the corner table with France saying "Now we have peace in our time..."


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## OldSolduer

Canada continues to wonder if Germany really really is a mean bully or just misunderstood.


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## Danjanou

But Canada is still not used to being a grown up. Having recently moved out of England's house and taken an upstatirs room across the street in the United States house. Canada did kiinD of enjoy it's first grown up visit to the pub with it's siblings Australia, New Zealand, South Africa and India, but really hpes they don't dragged into all that brawling again.

At the other end of the Pub, Italy has finally found someone to fight and kicks newcomer Ethiopia in the goolies when they walk in. 

Germany sitting at their table in the centre of the roome smiles and raise their pint glass in a salute. Then they look at Russia who's wandered back in from the kitchen after checking on Japan in the back room and both look over at Poland who's been sitting by themselves at a small table.....


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## The Bread Guy

Danjanou said:
			
		

> ....Germany sitting at their table in the centre of the roome smiles and raise their pint glass in a salute. Then they look at Russia who's wandered back in from the kitchen after checking on Japan in the back room and both look over at Poland who's been sitting by themselves at a small table.....


....right next to Germany....


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## Danjanou

England and France stare at Germany and England begins to wave their finger in a stern manner. Germany gives them an "aw schucks" grin  and then turns and knocks Poland's beer off the table. 

Poland stands up to confront Germany  and beckons for England and France to come over and help. Russia then taps Poland on the shoulder and when they turn around Germany grabs the chair and smashes it over Poland's head. Russia then rushes in and begins kicking Poland repeatedly in the goolies while they lay writhing on the floor.

German turns to England and France who are standing in the middle of the room and makes a "come on then" gesture, but England and France slink back to their table and continue to utter threats in low voices. Denmark, Norway, Holland, and Belgium who popped in for a quick one after work all look worried and finish their drinks in a hurry and yell for the bill.

Finland who's been sitting in a corner quietly notices Russia is distracted going through the unconscious Poland's pockets, and quickly sneaks up behind and smashes a vodka bottle over Russia's head.


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## OldSolduer

Meanwhile across the room, Canada observes......knowing that somehow or another they'll have to help sort this mess out......not that it wants to.


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## Danjanou

Russia gets up, shakes their head, grabs Finland and tosses them against the wall, knocking them out. Russian then goes back to their table in the far corner and sits down to sulk. Japan notices this and slinks out back to the Kitchen to see if China has woken up yet.

England grabs the phone and quickly calls the kids Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and India and tells them to get down to the pub right quick and oh could one of them pop around to  the United States and tell them to grab their baseball bat and come over.  Then England walks over and stands by France confronting German, Italy and their mates now standing in the middle of the room. Everyone starts to down their pints, grab their coats and head for the door.

German quickly crosses the room and with the bits of broken chair quickly hits Denmark, Norway, Holland and Belgium stunning them all. Germany then grabs their coats and wallets and tosses them on a table to sort through later.

France is upset that it's little cousin Belgium has been hit and rushes around the large table it's been sheltering behind to get at Germany. Italy has finally finished going through Ethiopia's pockets  notices this and trips France. When France gets up Germany has picked up the table and smashes it over Frances's head. France is knocked out for several hours and when they finally wake up they're concussed and slightly schizophrenic and crawl off into a corner to argue with themselves.

Outnumbered and alone England barricades themself behind the bar and begin tossing empty pint glasses at Germany and hoping the kids show up soon.

Germany and Italy begin sorting out the other tables  right quick and strut around the bar. In a corner booth Bulgaria, Hungary and Romania having seen whatever happend to everyone else all stand up and declare that Germany and Italy are their new best mates and buy them a round.

Across the street the United States is getting a bit concerned about all the noise and broken windows and wants to go over 
and take a look, but the missus tells them to sit down and finish their dinner.


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## Haletown

The Coles Notes version.

Germany has decided to kick the snot out of France & England and it means Canada will have to go overseas, again, and straighten out the mess.

And lets give some recognition to the rest of the Commonwealth & the always late but important USA.


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## ArmyRick

Haletown!

I was enjoying my bedtime story and you spoiled it! You have to tell it like a bar brawl scene.

Now back to our once upon a time...


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## Newt

Meanwhile, United States hears a noise in the backyard and investigates just in time to see Japan smashing its tiki themed patio set in retaliation for suggesting Japan had had too much to drink and should be cut off for the rest of the night. United States is very upset at this and heads down to bar. 

Japan also eggs The Neatherlands' house and moons Australia as it heads back to pick on China some more.


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## gszd55

I came across this recently, a Facebook version of WWII.  Canada is not included, but I guess you can't expect much from 'a modern adaptation of world war II for the american teenager'  Sort of sad really...

http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1802364


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## HavokFour

Ah, I can finally use this .gif! WWII as an RTS.

*WARNING: Some graphic images and profane language used.*

http://i34.tinypic.com/11bs100.jpg


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## Haletown

ArmyRick said:
			
		

> Haletown!
> 
> I was enjoying my bedtime story and you spoiled it! You have to tell it like a bar brawl scene.
> 
> Now back to our once upon a time...



Sorry bud.  I was just thinking that if they had taught history like that I might have understood it and then I realized that without Coles Notes, I would not have made it out of High School, let alone four years of majoring in Pub at University.


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## Retired AF Guy

Italy, while the Germans have their backs turned, decides to pick a fight with the Balkans Football Club which has been sitting in the corner. The BFC is a lot tougher then they look and the Italians are soon running to the Germans asking for help. The Germans turn around and go "WTF!"


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## TN2IC

Family Guy Sums It Up


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## armyvern

Pusser said:
			
		

> Maybe the point was that Canada was in the bar fight too and in fact at one point jumped over the ridge of the bar and knocked Germany down after both Britain and France had tried and failed to do the same thing.  Unfortunately, because Canada was dressed like Britain and sounded like America, everybody forgot that Canada was even there.




LMAO --- too funny.

We Canuks must have apologized to everyone for the confusion at some point in there too - I am convinced of that.


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## Osotogari

Ending should be amended to read:

With Britain nursing a broken hand and with France writhing in the corner from a self-inflicted groin punch, Canada and Australia gang up on Germany, knocking its teeth out, kicking it in the solar plexus, and shattering one of its knees.  

America waits till Germany is about to fall over from its sustained beating, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.


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## OldSolduer

Osotogari said:
			
		

> Ending should be amended to read:
> 
> With Britain nursing a broken hand and with France writhing in the corner from a self-inflicted groin punch, Canada and Australia gang up on Germany, knocking its teeth out, kicking it in the solar plexus, and shattering one of its knees.
> 
> America waits till Germany is about to fall over from its sustained beating, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.



LOL LMAO!! Well said!!


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## opp550

After the Second Bar Fight, Russia and America, who were on the same side in Bar Fight Two, notic ethey have profound differences. Fearful of a Third Bar Fight, they both stock up on all the empty beer bottles they can, to be used in the next bar fight. 

Britain, Canada, and France join America's side and call themselves NATO. Russia and his allies call themselves the Warsaw Pact. Germany is split between the two factions. Japan, tired of the fighting, and at the request of the US, goes to the bar next door. 

NATO and the Warsaw Pact, fearful of the extreme destruction that would be caused in another full-on bar fight, decide to have the patron of the bar across the street fight for them. The standoff ends when the bartender comes up to Russia demanding that they pay off their tab.


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## Danjanou

Hey lets not get ahead of oursleves yet, we're still at mid point of 1941.

....After sortiing out the BFC with some help from it's new bestest buds Romania, and Hungary, Germany looks around the shambles 
of the room. England is still snarling at them from behind a fortified barrier of bar stools and Canada is at the window bhind them passing in a fresh supply of empty bottles to toss. Russia is still sitting in the corner taking in everything  and snarling at Finland.

Then another cry for help from Italy, they've decided to rifle the pockets of Egypt who passed out earlier in the childrens sandbox in the corner, but England sicked the kids, Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa on them and they're all smacking Italy about the kneecaps. Rolling up their sleeves Germany sighs and wonders where ti can get sdome better friends and allies and stomps over top that end of the room......


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## Sapplicant

....As Germany makes it's way to the childrens sandbox, it makes eye contact with a stretching, knuckle cracking Japan, who gives a knowing nod. Japan puffs it's chest out, and makes its way through the giant ocean of spilt beer, over to the United States, who's standing there, flat-footed, laughing hysterically, one hand slapping it's knee, the other trying to hold it's stomach from bursting. USA looks up JUST in time to see Japan in midswing with a big, heavy section of broken table....


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## cavalryman

The USA manages to raise an arm and blunt Japan's swing, only to reel backwards into Germany, which is not amused and promises to get the USA once its taken care of the sandbox.  Japan, in the meantime, turns around and beats up poor Netherlands, cowering in the tiki lounge since Germany kicked it out of the Europe bar, before taking away Britain's Tiger Beer and pouring it on Britain's bleeding scalp.    The Phillipines meanwhile walks out the door, vowing to return.  At the end of the bar, India, trying hard to mind its own business gets splashed by Japan's beer vandalism and starts to get up.....


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## vonGarvin

I have to interject.  Poor Russia has his nads handed to him by Germany at some point before Japan takes a chair to USA's face.  (Of course, Uncle Joe is able to keep fighting in spite of the fact that he has no nads left...)


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## Danjanou

....... After dealing with the sandbox, German walks over to Russia hand outstretched in greeting. Russian grabs it and Germany kicks 
Russia in the goolies while Finland, Hungary,Italy, and Rumania all pile on. Bloodied and concussed Russia backs off into the storeroom.

To Distract Germany, England whispers something to Canada, who climbs in the bar window, sneaks across the room and tries  to 
smash a beer bottle on Germany's head. The bottle fails to break and Germany turns around, grins and punches Canada in the nose.

Holding their Bloody nose Canada retreats across the room to their previous perch. Australia and New Zealand get a urgent call to come home from the missus as Japan is lurking in the garden and dash out. South Africa still pissed at England making them take on both Italy and Germany  continues to sulk in the sanbox and treat thweir cuts and bruises.....


( there all caught up)


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## cavalryman

.....Germany goes looking for Russia in the storeroom to punch it some more, and notices the attractive walk-in freezer with its loops of sausage and piles of schnitzel, not realizing Russia is hiding behind the schnitzel, just waiting with a frozen haunch of ham.....  Germany being otherwise occupied, Britain kicks sand in Italy's face and tries to coax the USA into joining it in the sandbox....  With things getting a bit too quiet in the main bar, Britain and Canada start throwing pickled eggs at Germany's back...  Meanwhile, the USA climbs into the sandbox and kicks out Vichy France which had been looking for a reason to join it's wayward brother Free France....


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## Danjanou

.....Germany and Russia egged on by their various supports, buddies, and relatives ( Romania, Croatia, Slovenia, Hungary, Finland, Ukraine, Siberia et all) have started a serious game of Roshambow in the freezer, so Gemrany fails to hear (or ignores) Italy's pitiful screams for help form the main bar room.


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## medicineman

Italy, having decided that beating up on Ethiopia was training enough to punch at their own weight level, decided to take on the UK - and ran away crying for Mommy and Germany to help out after being sodomized by an unlubricated British boot.

MM


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## Sapplicant

.....Meanwhile, our friendly bartender Switzerland is still sitting there, watching this all unfold, dishtowel in one hand, drink in the other, trying to duck the occasional flying shard of glass/chairleg/billiard ball. This all, of course, coming after having put everyone's wallets, rings, necklaces, etc... in the lock-box under the bar for safe-keeping....


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## Haletown

".....Meanwhile, our other  friendly bartender Sweden is still sitting there, watching this all unfold, Order Book in one hand, weapons licenses for sale in the other, trying to duck the occasional flying shard of glass/chair leg/billiard ball. This all, of course, while selling weapons and ammunition to both sides and getting very rich in the process.


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## medicineman

Germany, hearing Italy's whining, sends a couple of its pals over that need warming up after dealing with Russia in the freezer, and promptly wipe the shyte eating grin off the UK's face...for a few minutes.

MM


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## Danjanou

…. That is until The US, Canada, and England, all stomp on Italy's Foot after warming up on a couple of smaller bruisers in the sandbox. Then they proceed to deliver a major whip ass, joined in by South Africa, New Zealand and Poland (who went over to England's home to get a new set of pub clothes and just got back). Even Brazil from down the street jumps in the fun as does France who appears to be over their concussion and split personality. Under all this pressure Italy folds faster then a French soccer player at the world cup.


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## Edward Campbell

Danjanou said:
			
		

> ....... After dealing with the sandbox, German walks over to Russia hand outstretched in greeting. Russian grabs it and Germany kicks
> Russia in the goolies while Finland, Hungary,Italy, and Rumania all pile on. Bloodied and concussed Russia backs off into the storeroom.
> 
> To Distract Germany, England whispers something to Canada, who climbs in the bar window, sneaks across the room and tries  to
> smash a beer bottle on Germany's head. The bottle fails to break and Germany turns around, grins and punches Canada in the nose.
> 
> Holding their Bloody nose Canada retreats across the room to their previous perch, but still keeps the supply of full bottles flowing to Britain. Australia and New Zealand get a urgent call to come home from the missus as Japan is lurking in the garden and dash out. South Africa still pissed at England making them take on both Italy and Germany  continues to sulk in the sanbox and treat thweir cuts and bruises.....
> 
> 
> ( there all caught up)




Amended, a bit ...


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## Danjanou

Nice touch, that street they have to keep crossing to the pub is pretty dangerous and kind of flooded.


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## opp550

Japan, having given the US a strong surprise barrage of attacks, gave the US some nasty wounds. However, the wounds were superficial, and Midway of another blow from Japan, the US got on it's feet, giving Japan wounds greater than initially inflicted in the conflict by Japan. Despite this, Japan manages to inflict a high volume of pain on the US.


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## a_majoor

Single page version (averaging everything out we are at about late 1943 now...)

After a few years, Germany has a few pints and starts sucking up to Russia and decides that it doesn't want to pay for the pints that France insists it owes.  Then it insists that Austria is its brother and that they and Italy are really best friends. Glaring angrily about the bar, Germany saw Britain and France huddled in the corner trying not to make eye contact. Italy had already been marching around the bar, challenging everyone to step outside, but there were no takers. America had left the bar some time ago and no one was sure of where America had gone. Meanwhile, Germany moved into its brother's house, and decided that the Sudetenland would be a god place to build a nice, new living room.

With nothing better to do, Germany challenged Soviet Russia to an arm wrestling match at the Spanish table, while Japan was in the back room taking a pool cue to China.

Armwrestling over, Germany goes to the bar again and orders another pint and one for Austria. Glancing over to Czechoslovakia, Germany says, "Hey, nice shirt. I want it".

Before Czechoslovakia can jump from the bar stool and take a swing, Britain walks over and stands between the two, saying, "Can't we just get along? Come on, now, Czechoslovakia, just the shirt, that's all"...

Humiliated, Czechoslovakia hands over the shirt, while Britain walks back to the corner table with France saying "Now we have peace in our time..." 

But Canada is still not used to being a grown up. Having recently moved out of England's house and taken an upstatirs room across the street in the United States house. Canada did kind of enjoy it's first grown up visit to the pub with it's siblings Australia, New Zealand, South Africa and India, but really hopes they don't dragged into all that brawling again.

At the other end of the Pub, Italy has finally found someone to fight and kicks newcomer Ethiopia in the goolies when they walk in. 

Germany sitting at their table in the centre of the room smiles and raise their pint glass in a salute. Then they look at Russia who's wandered back in from the kitchen after checking on Japan in the back room and both look over at Poland who's been sitting by themselves at a small table..... right next to Germany. England and France stare at Germany and England begins to wave their finger in a stern manner. Germany gives them an "aw schucks" grin  and then turns and knocks Poland's beer off the table. 

Poland stands up to confront Germany and beckons for England and France to come over and help. Russia then taps Poland on the shoulder and when they turn around Germany grabs the chair and smashes it over Poland's head. Russia then rushes in and begins kicking Poland repeatedly in the goolies while they lay writhing on the floor.

German turns to England and France who are standing in the middle of the room and makes a "come on then" gesture, but England and France slink back to their table and continue to utter threats in low voices. Denmark, Norway, Holland, and Belgium who popped in for a quick one after work all look worried and finish their drinks in a hurry and yell for the bill.

Finland who's been sitting in a corner quietly notices Russia is distracted going through the unconscious Poland's pockets, and quickly sneaks up behind and smashes a vodka bottle over Russia's head

Meanwhile across the room, Canada observes......knowing that somehow or another they'll have to help sort this mess out......not that it wants to
Russia gets up, shakes their head, grabs Finland and tosses them against the wall, knocking them out. Russian then goes back to their table in the far corner and sits down to sulk. Japan notices this and slinks out back to the Kitchen to see if China has woken up yet.

England grabs the phone and quickly calls the kids Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and India and tells them to get down to the pub right quick and oh could one of them pop around to  the United States and tell them to grab their baseball bat and come over.  Then England walks over and stands by France confronting German, Italy and their mates now standing in the middle of the room. Everyone starts to down their pints, grab their coats and head for the door.

German quickly crosses the room and with the bits of broken chair quickly hits Denmark, Norway, Holland and Belgium stunning them all. Germany then grabs their coats and wallets and tosses them on a table to sort through later.

France is upset that it's little cousin Belgium has been hit and rushes around the large table it's been sheltering behind to get at Germany. Italy has finally finished going through Ethiopia's pockets  notices this and trips France. When France gets up Germany has picked up the table and smashes it over Frances's head. France is knocked out for several hours and when they finally wake up they're concussed and slightly schizophrenic and crawl off into a corner to argue with themselves.

Outnumbered and alone England barricades themselves behind the bar and begin tossing empty pint glasses at Germany and hoping the kids show up soon.

Germany and Italy begin sorting out the other tables  right quick and strut around the bar. In a corner booth Bulgaria, Hungary and Romania having seen whatever happend to everyone else all stand up and declare that Germany and Italy are their new best mates and buy them a round.

Across the street the United States is getting a bit concerned about all the noise and broken windows and wants to go over and take a look, but the missus tells them to sit down and finish their dinner.

Shortly after dinner, United States hears a noise in the backyard and investigates just in time to see Japan smashing its tiki themed patio set in retaliation for suggesting Japan had had too much to drink and should be cut off for the rest of the night. United States is very upset at this and heads down to bar. Japan also eggs The Neatherlands' house and moons Australia as it heads back to pick on China some more

Italy, while the Germans have their backs turned, decides to pick a fight with the Balkans Football Club which has been sitting in the corner. The BFC is a lot tougher then they look and the Italians are soon running to the Germans asking for help. The Germans turn around and go "WTF!" 

After sortiing out the BFC with some help from it's new bestest buds Romania, and Hungary, Germany looks around the shambles of the room. England is still snarling at them from behind a fortified barrier of bar stools and Canada is at the window bhind them passing in a fresh supply of empty bottles to toss. Russia is still sitting in the corner taking in everything  and snarling at Finland.

Then another cry for help from Italy, they've decided to rifle the pockets of Egypt who passed out earlier in the children’s sandbox in the corner, but England sikked the kids, Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa on them and they're all smacking Italy about the kneecaps. Rolling up their sleeves Germany sighs and wonders where it can get some better friends and allies and stomps over top that end of the room.

As Germany makes it's way to the children’s sandbox, it makes eye contact with a stretching, knuckle cracking Japan, who gives a knowing nod. Japan puffs it's chest out, and makes its way through the giant ocean of spilt beer, over to the United States, who's standing there, flat-footed, laughing hysterically, one hand slapping it's knee, the other trying to hold it's stomach from bursting. USA looks up JUST in time to see Japan in midswing with a big, heavy section of broken table. The USA manages to raise an arm and blunt Japan's swing, only to reel backwards into Germany, which is not amused and promises to get the USA once its taken care of the sandbox.  Japan, in the meantime, turns around and beats up poor Netherlands, cowering in the tiki lounge since Germany kicked it out of the Europe bar, before taking away Britain's Tiger Beer and pouring it on Britain's bleeding scalp. The Phillipines meanwhile walks out the door, vowing to return.  At the end of the bar, India, trying hard to mind its own business gets splashed by Japan's beer vandalism and starts to get up.

After dealing with the sandbox, German walks over to Russia hand outstretched in greeting. Russian grabs it and Germany kicks Russia in the goolies while Finland, Hungary,Italy, and Rumania all pile on. Bloodied and concussed Russia backs off into the storeroom.

To distract Germany, England whispers something to Canada, who climbs in the bar window, sneaks across the room and tries  to smash a beer bottle on Germany's head. The bottle fails to break and Germany turns around, grins and punches Canada in the nose. Holding their Bloody nose Canada retreats across the room to their previous perch, but still keeps the supply of full bottles flowing to Britain. Australia and New Zealand get a urgent call to come home from the missus as Japan is lurking in the garden and dash out. South Africa still pissed at England making them take on both Italy and Germany  continues to sulk in the sandbox and treat their cuts and bruises

Germany goes looking for Russia in the storeroom to punch it some more, and notices the attractive walk-in freezer with its loops of sausage and piles of schnitzel, not realizing Russia is hiding behind the schnitzel, just waiting with a frozen haunch of ham.....  Germany being otherwise occupied, Britain kicks sand in Italy's face and tries to coax the USA into joining it in the sandbox....  With things getting a bit too quiet in the main bar, Britain and Canada start throwing pickled eggs at Germany's back...  Meanwhile, the USA climbs into the sandbox and kicks out Vichy France which had been looking for a reason to join it's wayward brother Free France

Germany and Russia, egged on by their various supports, buddies, and relatives ( Romania, Croatia, Slovenia, Hungary, Finland, Ukraine, et all) have started a serious game of Roshambow in the freezer, so Germany fails to hear (or ignores) Italy's pitiful screams for help from the main bar room.

Italy, having decided that beating up on Ethiopia was training enough to punch at their own weight level, decided to take on the UK - and ran away crying for Mommy and Germany to help out after being sodomized by an unlubricated British boot

Meanwhile, our friendly bartender Switzerland is still sitting there, watching this all unfold, dishtowel in one hand, drink in the other, trying to duck the occasional flying shard of glass/chairleg/billiard ball. This all, of course, coming after having put everyone's wallets, rings, necklaces, etc... in the lock-box under the bar for safe-keeping. Our other  friendly bartender Sweden is still sitting there, watching this all unfold, Order Book in one hand, weapons licenses for sale in the other, trying to duck the occasional flying shard of glass/chair leg/billiard ball. This all, of course, while selling weapons and ammunition to both sides and getting very rich in the process.

Germany, hearing Italy's whining, sends a couple of its pals over that need warming up after dealing with Russia in the freezer, and promptly wipe the shyte eating grin off the UK's face...for a few minutes.

That is until The US, Canada, and England, all stomp on Italy's Foot after warming up on a couple of smaller bruisers in the sandbox. Then they proceed to deliver a major whip ***, joined in by South Africa, New Zealand and Poland (who went over to England's home to get a new set of pub clothes and just got back). Even Brazil from down the street jumps in the fun as does France who appears to be over their concussion and split personality. Under all this pressure Italy folds faster then a French soccer player at the world cup.

Japan, having given the US a strong surprise barrage of attacks, gave the US some nasty wounds. However, the wounds were superficial, and Midway of another blow from Japan, the US got on it's feet, giving Japan wounds greater than initially inflicted in the conflict by Japan. Despite this, Japan manages to inflict a high volume of pain on the US.


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