# 20 years



## Jackson10

Here is my story. I applied to ROTP 20 years ago. It was all I wanted to do from about grade 8, and then was unsuccessful. Applied again after first year university. Again unsuccessful. I was pretty devastated. However, I continued on at university and earned 3 degrees, and became a lawyer. I could not shake the pull of the Forces however. About 10 years ago, I applied for the reserves. Didn't get in then either. I was beginning to think that maybe this was not for me. Anyway, went on and got married, had some kids, and built a successful law career. Also got up to 270 lbs. I am turning 40 soon, and a few months ago I said to my wife "you know, I will be dying one day and the only regret I will have is not giving the forces one more shot." She knew how much it meant so told me to go try. Spoke to a reserve recruiter. He said there were openings. First thing was to lose some weight. Dropped 55 lbs in 6 months. Got the application in, and waited. CFAT was fine. Went for medical testing and there were issues. Chased down the medical reports, so good to go there. Eyes were V4, so some trades limited, but could still do others, which is fine. Then went for fitness test. I was really excited/nervous and blood pressure was through the roof. I therefore couldn't test, so off to the doctor again. Got a clearance, so rescheduled fitness. Cancelled due to snow storm. Rescheduled until today. Went and passed with 36 push-ups. Not bad considering I could do 4 last summer. Now, I wait for a call to be enrolled. I hope it comes.


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## Rheostatic

Good luck. Even if you don't get in, You can be proud of the work you've done to improve your health. What trades are you going for?


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## Jackson10

Thanks for the comment. After the eye issue, I applied for Logistics (Officer) and RSM Clerk (NCM).


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## my72jeep

O Boy a RMS clerk with a law degree that should speed things up in the OR.  >


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## Pusser

Have you considered Legal Officer?  Or, did you want to do something completely different?


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## ModlrMike

If you get the choice, and Legal Officer is off the table, I recommend taking LogO. Your education and experience will certainly help you in that occupation.


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## Jackson10

Thanks for the comments. Legal was my first choice but there were no positions available. Log (O) is my preference, for the reasons mentioned, so I hope it works out.


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## Hammer Sandwich

Jackson10 said:
			
		

> Thanks for the comments. Legal was my first choice but there were no positions available. Log (O) is my preference, for the reasons mentioned, so I hope it works out.



I joined the LOG community muuuuch younger than you...(@26 >)....
Have a blast....you'll Love it!

I genuinely wish you all the best!

HS


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## Jackson10

Thanks HS. Any advice?


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## blacktriangle

You never know, a position for Legal O might open up come next FY in April. If not, I would also say that you go Log O. From those I have talked to, it sounds like it can be an interesting go. 

I really would not recommend going NCM at your age and level of education. You may not ever become a Col or General, but even as a Capt you would be able to positively influence a larger portion of the forces. With your work experience, I would assume that you have a lot of people skills and organizational ability. We could always use more people like that. 

Best of luck.


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## Jackson10

They said that there would be no Legal job in this area anytime soon. So, that is out. I agree on the NCM position and I hope the Log O comes through. It is just that I wanted to be in the CF for so long, if the NCM position is the only offer I get, then it makes for a tough call.


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## Pusser

I've known of prominent business men, high level executives and even millionaires who were NCMs in the Reserve.  It all depends on what you want out of the experience.


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## Jackson10

Fair enough. I was certainly interested in some of the NCM trades. However, given my eyesight and the available trades, it was pretty much RSM clerk only. This was not my first choice, but if it what I get, then so be it.


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## Jackson10

Update: Just got a call from the reserve unit. Being sworn in Thursday for Log O. Been a long time coming. Pretty happy right now.


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## BernDawg

Congratulations!


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## brandon_

I second what BernDawg said- Congratulations!


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## Jackson10

Thanks to you both. It is kind of emotional right now.


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## Sigger

That is fantastic news! Congratulations!


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## Redeye

Jackson10 said:
			
		

> Update: Just got a call from the reserve unit. Being sworn in Thursday for Log O. Been a long time coming. Pretty happy right now.



Congrats, welcome aboard!


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## fauntania

Congratulations!  You must be thrilled, and I bet your wife couldn't be prouder.   ;D


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## Jackson10

UPDATE: Now into weekend BMQ. It is like I thought it would be. That is to say, it sucks and is awesome at the same time.


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## Pusser

It's not designed to entertain you, but once you're done, you'll look back on certain moments with fondness.


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## Sigger

Like I often say, BMQ, in retrospect, is most wonderful.


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## BernDawg

I found that most people hated basic for the first few weeks then by the end couldn't wait to get back to instruct it.  :warstory:


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## Maverick94

Congratulations!


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## daftandbarmy

Jackson10 said:
			
		

> UPDATE: Now into weekend BMQ. It is like I thought it would be. That is to say, it sucks and is awesome at the same time.



Well done you 'orrible little 'eathen, you! 

Keep away from dirtiness—keep away from mess,
Don’t get into doing things rather-more-or-less!
Let’s have done with abby-nay, kul, and hazar-ho;
Mind you keep your rifle and yourself just so!

http://www.battlepoetry.com/kip/heathen/heathen.htm


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## dinicthus

There is no "late". Only "later". You got in later.  Congratulations!

Now you can continue a life with no regrets. How many can claim that?

"Never give up" also comes to mind.


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## trigger324

BernDawg said:
			
		

> I found that most people hated basic for the first few weeks then by the end couldn't wait to get back to instruct it.  :warstory:




Not this guy. I hated it the whole time. Still hate it. I would never want to set foot in that Mega again.


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## Cdnleaf

Sigger said:
			
		

> Like I often say, BMQ, in retrospect, is most wonderful.



Yeah, Cornwallis was like a regular treat of the week  :rofl:


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## Jackson10

I am now more than half way through the weekend BMQ so I thought I would give the midpoint view for anyone who is interested.

Staff - The staff are awesome. They are really quite competent. There is no BS. We get push-ups or leg lifts when we screw up. They don't seem to screw us just for the hell of it.

Inspections - They find stuff wrong, yell a bit, then we go on to class. Accept it for what it is.

PT- Mostly circuit work with some running in between. Most seem to be handling it pretty well. There are a couple who struggle, but as long as they are trying, the staff leave them alone.

Teamwork - As has been said a million times, you cannot do this alone. Work together and things are much easier.

Quitting - We have lost a few so far. It is what it is. Others have said "I am not sure if this is for me, but I will do BMQ, then see where I am." I think this is a good approach. Got to give it a chance.

Being old - Not an issue. I am treated the same, and find I can keep up with the group. Got jacked a couple of times for laughing, so it is all good.

Weapons handling test - Lots of instruction and practice. Passed on the first time. Those who did not were all retested.

Advice at this stage - I am having a blast. From the comment above, "don't have regrets in life."


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## Bzzliteyr

cdnleaf, they sill had the soft ice cream when I went through Cornwallis!!

Jackson10, an inspiration for all!!  Well done!!


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## medicineman

There was ice cream in Cornwallis???!!!

MM


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## Pusser

Jacson 10, you have a very positive attitude.  Keep it up and you'll go far in this outfit.

An important thing to know about basic training is that yes, it's tough and supposed to be, but they're not allowed to kill you and it is not insurmountable.  Another thing to note is that basic training is not indicative of life in the CF.  Once you're done that phase of your life, things get considerably better.  Do not judge a career in the CF based on your experiences on BMQ.


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## Cdnleaf

medicineman said:
			
		

> There was ice cream in Cornwallis???!!!
> MM


 
Indeed it appeared that way - I just wasn't stupid enough to raise my hand when the DS asked "Who likes ice cream?...."   

Thanks for the update Jackson / great read and all the best with the remainder.


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## Jackson10

Thanks for all the comments guys. I am not sure about being an inspiration but all that stuff people talk about not being too old for your dreams is really true.

One other thing on the quitting. I just don't understand why you would go through the time consuming application process, be successful (when so many are not), and then quit after one weekend. It just seems to me that you have to give it a fair shot. I am seeing that some who desperately wanted to quit the first weekend are now settled, as the routine gets established and we are into the fun stuff with the weapons, etc...


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## chrisf

cdnleaf said:
			
		

> I just wasn't stupid enough to raise my hand when the DS asked "Who likes ice cream?...."



Who dares wins...


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## Trick

Jackson, just wanted to say you deserve heaps of respect for your drive and it looks like you're finally being rewarded for it.

Best of luck,


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## Jackson10

Hey thanks Trick. Finished the range and gas hut. Now only two weekends left. I'm thinking there might be a few tears if it all goes well.


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## Jackson10

So, I am nearing the end of PRes BMQ. A couple of funny incidents that I thought I could share. The first was during the gas hut and on our second trip through, one of the recruits went in and started screaming, "I'm F*&king dying." The instructor simply replied, "why don't you put your mask on?" Seemed to work. The second was during inspection and the MCpl. was making veiled references to homosexuality with my first aid dummy. When he finally asked what I named him, I got some swearing sent my way when I answered with the MCpl.'s first name (which I had gotten off a list on the wall).


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## Hammer Sandwich

Jackson10 said:
			
		

> The second was during inspection and the MCpl. was making veiled references to homosexuality with my first aid dummy. When he finally asked what I named him, I got some swearing sent my way when I answered with the MCpl.'s first name (which I had gotten off a list on the wall).



Well played, sir.
(commence slow clap while rising from seat)

....Well played.


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## Jackson10

One last post to close the loop. Graduated PRes BMQ today. Won the "Top Shot" award. Let me say, I have held my newborn children, been married a couple of times, and earned three degrees, but today was the proudest moment of my life. It is tough to find the words. 

Also kinda funny when the only officer on the course is the one crying.  :'(


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## Hammer Sandwich

Jackson10 said:
			
		

> One last post to close the loop. Graduated PRes BMQ today. Won the "Top Shot" award. Let me say, I have held my newborn children, been married a couple of times, and earned three degrees, but today was the proudest moment of my life. It is tough to find the words.
> 
> Also kinda funny when the only officer on the course is the one crying.  :'(



Congrats, Jackson10!

I've enjoyed reading this thread about your journey regarding the first steps in your CF career.

Cheers.

HS


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## Jackson10

Thanks HS. It has been a fun ride so far.


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## Bzzliteyr

Welcome to the family.. there will be ups and downs throughout this relationship, trials and tribulations.. but always remember we ARE a family and are there for one another.

Congrats.


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## Hammer Sandwich

Bzzliteyr said:
			
		

> Welcome to the family.. there will be ups and downs throughout this relationship, trials and tribulations.. but always remember we ARE a family and are there for one another.



And I can second that.
Even if something really f**ked up happens to you, you'll be taken care of, and you'll have a tight-knit group of people around you.

Reg or PRes.


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## Jackson10

A short update for anyone interested.

I had a great year at the unit, and have now completed BMOQ Mod 2. As I am turning 40 this year, my wife asked what I wanted to do special for the birthday. I said "how about letting me go do BMOQ-L/CAP for 10 weeks?" Her response, "if you are stupid enough to try it, I will not stand in your way."

My unit has nominated me for a course in Aldershot this summer. I just hope the old body holds up.


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## Maxadia

Congrats, and well done.   ;D


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## NSDreamer

Congrats and well done mate. 

 As to if your body holds up? We had some pretty old farts (said affectionately) on my CAP. The only ones who didn't make it were actually younger folk. Keep your head down, work as a team, listen to your DS and help each other out and you'll do fine! Also, get some comfortable pens, you're going to spend a few hours of non stop writing for hand written orders.

 -NSDreamer


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## Jackson10

Thanks for the practical advice. Any other tips are welcomed.


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## NSDreamer

Good advice, get a good comfortable pair of boots and break them in. If you're in Aldershot you'll be going to Cloud lake for a good portion of your training and comfortable boots make a hell of a difference in that pebble and boulder strewn alley. I totalled pair of issue boots there  :-\

 Also, get a red light headlamp for operations in and around the hide while your on your Field ex's.


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## Jackson10

Thanks. I am already on the headlamp as I didn't have one for Mod 2, and others did. I am just using the issued boots, and find them pretty good. Is this what you mean? I heard the Swats, bates, etc... could be trouble in the field? Please let me know your thoughts.


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## NSDreamer

Ref the boots, I'm not sure what your course instructor will do, but for mine we performed the BFT on ashphalt which leaves and the terrain in and around cloud lake is just plain sh**. Having footwear that you are comfortable in dry, wet, for extended periods and that dries quickly makes a hell of a difference. 

 Some people don't mind the issued boots, it's good for them, but a good pair of magnums, or even good insoles for the issue boots can make a world of difference too.


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## Jackson10

Perfect. Thanks.


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## curious george

Jackson10 said:
			
		

> One last post to close the loop. Graduated PRes BMQ today. Won the "Top Shot" award. Let me say, I have held my newborn children, been married a couple of times, and earned three degrees, but today was the proudest moment of my life. It is tough to find the words.
> 
> Also kinda funny when the only officer on the course is the one crying.  :'(



Someone's chopping onions nearby.  I don't know you, I'm not even in myself, but your story makes me feel so proud of you.


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## Jackson10

Thanks CG. This stuff can be emotional sometimes. 

Good luck to you.


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## curious george

Thanks Jackson10.  That unit you're serving with is darn lucky to have you there!


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## Allgunzblazing

Jackson, I wish you the very, very best! One doesn't hear a story like yours often.


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## Bzzliteyr

What unit are you with now?


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## Eye In The Sky

NSDreamer said:
			
		

> Good advice, get a good comfortable pair of boots and break them in. If you're in Aldershot you'll be going to Cloud lake for a good portion of your training and comfortable boots make a hell of a difference in that pebble and boulder strewn alley. I totalled pair of issue boots there  :-\
> 
> Also, get a red light headlamp for operations in and around the hide while your on your Field ex's.



http://www.gov.ns.ca/nse/protectedareas/wa_cloudlake.asp

Ref the headlamp, not sure if the newer models are still the same, but I have a Petzl Tikka Xp, wicked headlamp IMO.  I also picked up a filter kit with green, blue and red filters for it, changes out in about 15 seconds.  Something like this, mine isn't camo, but it angles down, etc.  Always have this in my backpack.

http://www.ebay.ca/itm/Petzl-E89-PC-Tac-Tikka-XP-Headlamp-three-colored-lenses-Camouflage-/251035570500?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3a72e2d144

Personally, for night nav's, etc,  (dismounted stuff) I always preferred orange filters.  Couldn't see the red boundaries, etc on the Range Control maps, that kinda of stuff.   :2c:


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## Good2Golf

Jackson10 said:
			
		

> Thanks for the practical advice. Any other tips are welcomed.



Glucosimine, chondroiten and advil....  

Oh...and good boot liners -- I wear other boots daily, but I still prefer to BFT/ruck in my Vibram'd Mk.IIIs for their combination of support and comfort.  As well, you could suggest to your wife you'd like some nice gel/memory foam liners - I get mine at Mark's Work Warehouse, can't recall the name, but they were about $30, orange foam with blue gel heel and ball of foot inserts.

Keep up the great work!


Regards
G2G


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## NSDreamer

Good2Golf said:
			
		

> *Glucosimine, chondroiten and advil....*
> 
> Oh...and good boot liners -- I wear other boots daily, but I still prefer to BFT/ruck in my Vibram'd Mk.IIIs for their combination of support and comfort.  As well, you could suggest to your wife you'd like some nice gel/memory foam liners - I get mine at Mark's Work Warehouse, can't recall the name, but they were about $30, orange foam with blue gel heel and ball of foot inserts.
> 
> Keep up the great work!
> 
> 
> Regards
> G2G



+Gold Bond


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## PJGary

My biggest regret is I didn't discover the joys of insoles until I was handed them at physio  :facepalm:.

Basically, they are a lifesaver.

I would recommend these: https://secure.yoursole.com/ca/footbeds/softec-ultra/

Bonne Chance!


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## Maxadia

Thanks for the story.  I'm 40, a new grandfather, kids are done school within the decade including university, and I just walked through the door for my CFAT, medical and interview for the PRes. 

I'm as nervous as on my first date. 

However, I've wanted to get back to this since my first taste in 1989. Your story gives me a lot of motivation. 

Thanks again.


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## BernDawg

When it comes to insoles I stumbled on to these several years ago and never wore my boots without them since then. (no boots for me any more cept for hunting and hiking, and,  yup, they're in there..) 
http://www.spenco.com/products/footcare/poly-sorb/heavy-duty


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## Jackson10

Seriously, thanks everyone for the advice/comments. The foot advice is timely, as my heels sometimes bother me. As well, thanks for the headlamp piece. I started taking glucosamine a few months ago, and I found it did wonders for my knees. I just got to try and keep the body whole for the summer.


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## Bzzliteyr

Jackson, the CF used to give out glucosamine but stopped after there were no concrete studies of its effects but I am glad to hear it works for you!  Where did you say you were again?


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## Jimmy_D

For your night nav, if you have a second red filter for an elbow light. I would recommend drilling a very small hole in the centre of the filter.

That way there you have your red filter for night time and can see all the markings on you map because the filter will let out a little bit of white light thanks to the hole, which if done right will not be noticable by anyone not looking at your map.


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## Jackson10

Ok, so I am going to throw this out there for random advice. My friends and family have a view but none have the military perspective, and I hope someone can help.

I went on BMOQ-L/CAP in Aldershot and it did not go well. I was a medical RTU after 2 mods. However, even without this, I am not sure I would have lasted. The course was not that hard, but I was having a terrible time with it. I was not sleeping or eating and really did not settle for the entire month I was there. I was totally off and there was no real reason why. Anyway, not good. 

I returned to the unit with the intention of a VR as it was becoming clear that while I enjoyed my earlier courses well enough, and loved the time at the unit, I was now soured on the whole thing. I am very discouraged. However, the CO (great person) suggested I think about it more. He said nice things about value to the unit, etc... and maybe I could do it in single mods and not try the whole thing at once. I appreciated his comments but do not know if I want/can go try it again. Then again, my time in the reserves had been going so well, that I am not sure I want to pack it in. 

Bottom line is I am at loss. I would appreciate and views at all.


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## aesop081

Jackson10 said:
			
		

> and maybe I could do it in single mods



If you are having difficulty handling BMOQ-L, how are you going to handle the rest ?

It doesn't get easier or less stressful from there.

Once you left course, were you able to determine why you were not sleeping or eating ?


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## AGD

Jackson10 said:
			
		

> I returned to the unit with the intention of a VR as it was becoming clear that while I enjoyed my earlier courses well enough, and loved the time at the unit, I was now soured on the whole thing. I am very discouraged. However, the CO (great person) suggested I think about it more. He said nice things about value to the unit, etc... and maybe I could do it in single mods and not try the whole thing at once. I appreciated his comments but do not know if I want/can go try it again. Then again, my time in the reserves had been going so well, that I am not sure I want to pack it in.
> 
> Bottom line is I am at loss. I would appreciate and views at all.



Since when are you the quitting type?

I suggest you look back through this entire thread before you do anything...specifically, this post:



> One last post to close the loop. Graduated PRes BMQ today. Won the "Top Shot" award. Let me say, I have held my newborn children, been married a couple of times, and earned three degrees, but today was the proudest moment of my life. It is tough to find the words.


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## Jackson10

Thanks for the replies. No idea why I could not sleep. Seems fine now. The thing is, you both hit on the conflicting points. Was totally caught off guard by my reaction on the course. Did not see it coming at all, and makes me wonder whether I have simply reached my limits with it. I can accept that if it is true. The flip side is like AGD says, not particularly thrilled at the prospect of quitting as it is new to me, but confidence is a bit shaken.


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## Pusser

CDN Aviator said:
			
		

> If you are having difficulty handling BMOQ-L, how are you going to handle the rest ?
> 
> It doesn't get easier or less stressful from there.
> 
> Once you left course, were you able to determine why you were not sleeping or eating ?



Although looking back on BOTC (as we called it then), I can chuckle and ask myself why I was so stressed out at the time as it really wasn't that hard, I can certainly attest to the fact that the stress at the time was real.  Perhaps, in my case anyway, I looked upon BOTC as a "tryout" where I had to perform or lose out on a career I desperately wanted.  I did not feel the same about subsequent courses.  Arguably, they were more important in the grand scheme of things, but I never thought my livelihood was in jeopardy.  In short, I found that life after BOTC got easier, despite the fact that the actual consequences of failure were significantly higher.


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## Jackson10

Thanks Pusser. I was certainly worked up for it. Everyone told me that this was the course for me. The comments were that BMQ and BMOQ were nothing  and my trade course was only a month, so this is all I had to get through for my career. I was thinking of this and the infantry guys were all looking forward to their phase 3. Maybe this caused me to get freaked out more than it should have.


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## aesop081

Jackson10 said:
			
		

> I was thinking



That's the problem. Not just with you though, i see it with a large majority of new people on here.

You all think too f*****g much.

If you are going to stay in the CF, you're going to have to develop the ability to think of getting through one day and that's it. Those other guy's phase 3....it had f**kall to do with you.

Initial training is the easy part of one's career. One day you might have more to worry about than your "livelihood", you will be worrying about being alive at the end of the day.  If you decide to stay, please learn to get a grip on yourself. You'll thank me later.


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## Jackson10

I agree with the comment. That seems to be the challenge for me right now.


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## dogger1936

What the heck are you gonna do if on field ex? Things even on field exercises in Canada will never be so liberal on sleep, food, "stress" level as BMOQ was. If your having issues with that stress to the point where you were med rtu'd I would question being a leader of subordinates.

Deployment breaks sane people who never had issues with anything the army threw at them.

I suggest you figure out the issue and question if you could deploy for months on end. If not release.


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## Jackson10

You guys are correct.  It is a tough realization that you have limits, but I hit mine. I will leave the leadership to those better suited than me. Better I figure it out now rather than a situation when lives at risk.  Release memo is drafted and will be delivered tomorrow. Thanks for the honest opinions.


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## dogger1936

Jackson10 said:
			
		

> You guys are correct.  It is a tough realization that you have limits, but I hit mine. I will leave the leadership to those better suited than me. Better I figure it out now rather than a situation when lives at risk.  Release memo is drafted and will be delivered tomorrow. Thanks for the honest opinions.



Now all the lawyer degree stuff.....you could help a ton of veterans with that. Maybe with a minor look into the military and what soldiers do; you could redirect your energy to help those injured overseas pro bono as they fight VAC. Or maybe look at aiding Equitas society (http://equitassociety.ca/?page_id=5) as they are the only thing fighting for our veterans right now.

You reached your limit and know how it feels. Imagine being injured overseas under the NVC and coming home to a broken system to care for your family.....thats stressful as well.

Just a few idea's and maybe an option moving forward.


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## Jackson10

Will do. Still want to make a contribution and maybe there is something I can do there.


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## dogger1936

Jackson10 said:
			
		

> Will do. Still want to make a contribution and maybe there is something I can do there.



I know you have no issue with the laws and courtrooms that would have many a soldier nervous. Don`t focus on the lack of skill sets from your BOTC; but look at the skill sets you already have which are most impressive.


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