# What were they thinking?.....Dumb criminals.......add your dumb criminal story



## ENGINEERS WIFE (9 Jul 2008)

Man robbed buying crack calls cops who arrest him 

By The Associated Press


HARTFORD, Conn. - An East Hartford man called police to report he had been robbed while trying to buy crack cocaine. 


Max Minnefield called police Monday to tell them he had paid a man and a woman $8 for drugs he never received. Police charged him with criminal attempt to commit possession of narcotics. 


During his arraignment Tuesday, Judge Bradford Ward asked Minnefield, "Did you really think the police were going to go after the people?" He added that his question was rhetorical. 


Prosecutors later dropped the charges. 


Laura Weslund, Minnefield's public defender, said no drugs were ever found.


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## ENGINEERS WIFE (9 Jul 2008)

Arkansas suspect leaves behind cell phone for police 

By The Associated Press


FORREST CITY, Ark. - Forrest City police weren't able to catch their man after a high-speed chase through town, but the cell phone he left behind gave away his identity. 


The chase started just before 11 p.m. Monday after officers received a call about people "fighting in the street with guns," police said. When police arrived, they managed to block one car from getting away. The man in that car spoke briefly with officers before speeding away - and the chase was on. 


The man crashed his Toyota Camry into a house and ran away, police said. But as officers searched the car, the man's cell phone rang and the caller asked for the suspect by name. 


Officers said a search of the car uncovered a set of scales and two plastic bags, one containing marijuana and the other containing crack cocaine. 


Police declined to name the man Tuesday but said they were still searching for him.


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## kratz (21 Sep 2009)

From today's TheStar.com. You can't write this kind of stupidity for television.



> Shoplifters pay for TV confession
> U.S. couple indicted after coolly 'fessing up to crime spree on 'Dr. Phil'
> 
> Sep 21, 2009 04:30 AM
> ...



for more at link


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## PMedMoe (21 Sep 2009)

I can't figure out what is worse; going on national TV to "confess" to a crime, or pleading "not guilty" after said confession.   ???


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## kratz (22 Sep 2009)

Another dumb criminal entry:

from the National Post



> Note to self: never tattoo own name on body if wanted by police
> Jana G. Pruden, Canwest News Service
> Published: Tuesday, September 22, 2009
> 
> ...


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## CougarKing (20 Oct 2009)

;D



> http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/10/19/ap/business/main5398647.shtml
> 
> Oct. 20, 2009
> 
> ...


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## bdave (20 Oct 2009)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HQ-dH2ALG8

The original version has no audio since it's from a security camera. So someone dubbed sounds so it seems like you are there (footsteps, etc). This is absolutely hilarious.


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## ENGINEERS WIFE (23 Oct 2009)

Yah know you're a redneck when.....



Man drives motorized La-Z-Boy while drunk 

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS 
    
DULUTH, Minn. (AP) — A Minnesota man has pleaded guilty to driving his motorized La-Z-Boy chair while drunk. 

A criminal complaint says 62-year-old Dennis LeRoy Anderson told police he left a bar in the northern Minnesota town of Proctor on his chair after drinking eight or nine beers. 

Prosecutors say Anderson’s blood alcohol content was 0.29, more than three times the legal limit, when he crashed into a parked vehicle in August 2008. He was not seriously injured. 

Police said the chair was powered by a converted lawnmower and had a stereo and cup holders. 

Sixth Judicial District Judge Heather Sweetland stayed 180 days of jail time Monday and ordered two years of probation for Anderson. His attorney, David Keegan, did not immediately return a call for comment.


http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2009/10/22/11493581-ap.html


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## PMedMoe (4 Nov 2009)

Maybe stupid, maybe not, depends on how large your home town is, but figure the odds of this happening:

Robbery victim IDs suspect from old yearbook 

ERIE, Pa. (AP) — After being robbed of his jacket, cell phone, keys and $300, a Pennsylvania man was left with the odd feeling that his assailants looked familiar. Police say that’s because they went to school together about 15 years ago.

Erie police arrested 30-year-old Anthony Williams on Monday on charges of robbery, terroristic threats and simple assault. The other suspect has not been found.

They say Williams was one of two men who accosted the victim outside a convenience store Oct. 17.

Police say the victim recognized Williams because they both attended Central Career and Technical School in the mid-1990s. The victim brought old yearbooks to the police station and identified a newer picture of Williams from a photo lineup.

 ;D


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## gcclarke (4 Nov 2009)

Well, it is a city of over 280,000, including suburbs, so I would say the chances there are rather slim 

Still, always good to see low-lifes brought down by dumb luck.


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## PMedMoe (4 Nov 2009)

gcclarke said:
			
		

> Still, always good to see low-lifes brought down by dumb luck.



Yep, karma's a b1tch, ain't it.   ;D


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## CougarKing (4 Nov 2009)

At least she was honest:



> NEILSVILLE, Wis. — The call came into the 911 dispatcher: "I don't want to hurt anybody. I'm drunk." And with that, Mary Strey, 49, of Granton, reported herself as a drunken driver about three miles northeast of Neilsville in central Wisconsin.
> 
> Clark County Sheriff's Chief Deputy Jim Backus said Monday that Strey's call on Oct. 24 led deputies to cite her for misdemeanor drunken driving with a blood-alcohol level double the legal limit to drive. She makes her first court appearance Dec. 10.
> 
> ...



http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5i5tAV06tvIjrY7YAJAj_TBceLXJgD9BNLDAO0


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## uptheglens (6 Nov 2009)

This is something so stupid it should've come straight out of Sunnyvale trailer park:

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Marker-Pen-Burglars-Suspects-Miller-And-McNelly-Caught-In-Carroll-Iowa-With-Disguises/Article/200910415421313?lpos=World_News_Carousel_Region_4&lid=ARTICLE_15421313_Marker_Pen_Burglars%3A_Suspects_Miller_And_McNelly_Caught_In_Carroll%2C_Iowa%2C_With_Disguises







Marker Pen 'Burglars' Draw Cops' Attention

Two burglary suspects who covered their faces by drawing on 'masks' with a permanent marker pen have been arrested.

Suspects Matthew Allan McNelly and Joey Lee Miller

Mug shots of McNelly and Miller after their arrest

A witness told police that two men with painted disguises were trying to break into an apartment in Carroll, Iowa, US.

The caller added that the pair, both wearing black hooded sweatshirts, drove off in a large white car.

Police soon spotted a 1994 Buick Roadmaster that matched the vehicle description and stopped it.

They found two occupants with mask-like scribbling on faces, Iowa's Daily Times Herald reported.

Matthew Allan McNelly, 23, and Joey Lee Miller, 20, were arrested at gunpoint because of reports they might be armed, but neither man had a weapon.

Both suspects were charged with attempted second-degree burglary and have been released on bail.

McNelly was also charged with driving while intoxicated.

The pair was due in court on November 10 for a preliminary hearing.

Second-degree burglary is Class D felony punishable by up to five years in prison and a $7,500 (£4,575) fine.


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## PMedMoe (8 Nov 2009)

Some of these "criminals" may want to read this book:  Guilty by Reason of Stupidty.

Read excerpts here.  Absolutely hilarious!!


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## PMedMoe (9 Nov 2009)

Authorities say man stole car to make court appearance on previous auto theft charge

VALLEJO, Calif. - The California Highway Patrol say a man stole a car to make a court appearance on a previous auto theft charge. 

The patrol says 24-year-old Samuel Botchvaroff, of Oakland, was arrested Tuesday after he left his arraignment at the Vallejo courthouse on auto theft charges. He was booked into Solano County Jail on suspicion of auto theft and possession of stolen property. 

Authorities were looking for the stolen car after its tracking system alerted them about the theft. The car was stolen from Oakland. 

They say Botchvaroff told officers his own car had been impounded and that *he had no other way to get to his arraignment*. 

More on link above

Uh, ever heard of a taxi or a bus??   ???


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## PMedMoe (13 Nov 2009)

I guess this guy might want to change his cell service provider.

*Man arrested for calling 911, asking for sex*

Florida police say a man arrested for repeatedly calling 911 looking for sex claimed it was the only number he could dial after running out of cell phone minutes.

Tampa police said 29-year-old Joshua Basso made sexual comments to the 911 dispatcher and asked if he could come to her house. Investigators say she hung up, but he called back four more times.

He was arrested about 15 minutes later at his home late Wednesday and charged with making a false 911 call. Basso reportedly told officers that he didn’t think he would get in trouble for calling 911.

More on link

 :


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## CougarKing (7 Feb 2010)

We have another winner.   :


MSNBC link



> RIVERTON, Wyo. - (...)
> 
> *Riverton police say the 26-year-old ran out of the store after grabbing the bottle of booze and a package of cough drops Wednesday and hid in a nearby building, which happened to be the police station.*
> 
> ...


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## PMedMoe (7 Feb 2010)

Here's a couple more:

Man stuffed 75 bottles of lotion in his pants



> Police say mall security officers chased Guadarrama, but he had stuffed so many of the eight-ounce (225-gram) lotion containers in his pants that he could barely run. Police say he could not bend over to get in the police car until some of the bottles were removed.


and

Assault complaint leads to marijuana bust



> MRC des Collines-de-l’Outaouais said they were called to 57 Tache Rd. in Cantley, Quebec because a 26-year-old man had allegedly been beaten by a 42-year-old man from Lac Simon. During their investigation police said they found over 300 mature plants and 600 in the cutting stage in the both the garage and basement.



 :


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## PMedMoe (26 Mar 2010)

I like reading stories like this.   :nod:

Victim turned the tables, knifed robber



> The court heard that Sheikdoon and a youth befriended students Marc Pinkerton and Peter Chen near the University of Ottawa campus on Sept. 20, 2007 with the promise of smoking a joint.
> 
> The foursome returned to the students’ apartment and played video games. But when Chen and the youth went to a bank machine, Sheikdoon pulled a knife and demanded Pinkerton pack up his valuables. When Chen and the youth returned, the youth also pulled a knife.
> 
> ...



Guess he showed him, huh?   :rofl:


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## GAP (26 Mar 2010)

March 25, 2010
Dumbest Criminals Ever?

Thieves call bank prior to robbery asking to have money ready

News Report


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## PMedMoe (30 Mar 2010)

I hope I never get this bored:

*Man cites boredom after streaking arrest*

A man who has been charged with making a naked dash through a Tennessee supermarket told police he was “bored and didn’t have anything else to do.”

 :


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## PMedMoe (13 Apr 2010)

*Sobre driver trying to avoid RIDE stop charged*

LONDON, Ont. - Police in London, Ont., said they arrested a driver who went the wrong way down a one-way street to escape a RIDE check because he thought he was drunk. He wasn’t.

Police who were staffing the RIDE check Saturday said they watched as a driver heading towards them on a one-way street stopped, did a three-point turn and drove the wrong way back up the street.

He turned onto another street before a cruiser caught up to him.

The 21-year-old driver told the officer he probably had too much to drink.

According to a breath test, he was sober.

Police charged him with dangerous driving.

 :rofl:

Might I suggest the headline writer "sobre" up?   ;D


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## PMedMoe (13 Apr 2010)

Maybe these guys know the guy above??  Must have been a wild weekend in London, ON.   :

*Impaired driver had passenger on roof*

LONDON, Ont. - Police say a London, Ont., man rode home on the roof of his car to avoid driving home drunk.

The problem - one of several, according to police - is the man's designated driver was allegedly drunk.

An officer spotted the car in the Pondmills area of town at about 3 a.m.Sunday. 

The car was moving slowly and there was a man on the roof, police said.

According to police, the vehicle pulled into a driveway and the man on the roof jumped down. 

Police said he told the officer he was the owner of the vehicle and was using a designated driver to get home.

Police allege the 24-year-old designated driver was drunk. He was charged with impaired driving and dangerous driving.

The owner was given a ticket for not riding in a seat, with a seatbelt.


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## xo31@711ret (14 Apr 2010)

Huh, sounds like some of the antics that went on when I was posted to London in the early 80's  ;D


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## PMedMoe (19 Apr 2010)

Video of criminal trying to escape from the store he broke into.  He falls off a ladder *six* times.   :

http://www.viddler.com/explore/failblog/videos/524/25.929/


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## PMedMoe (23 Apr 2010)

*Clumsy ninja leaves bank empty-handed*

This is not the stealth you'd expect from a bank-robbing ninja. 

A Saskatchewan credit union released a video of a suspect dressed all in black and carrying a curved sword who smashed his way in on April 13. 

The video, from the Synergy Credit Union in Lashburn, Sask., about 35 km southeast of Lloydminster, shows the suspect poking at a banking machine with the sword, unsuccessfully, before smashing his way through a glass door and into the closed credit union. 

The suspect is seen skulking around and jumping over the counters until he leaves empty-handed. 

Then the wannabe robber/ninja smashes his way through another door and leaves the building moments later. 

RCMP said the suspect cut himself on one of the glass doors he smashed, *even though the door was actually unlocked*. 
  

 :rofl:


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## CougarKing (23 Apr 2010)

> Canadian Press link
> 
> By Tim Korte, The Associated Press
> 
> ...


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## PMedMoe (26 Apr 2010)

*Article Link*

The tables have turned on one Ontario man who, after calling police to report a theft, was charged himself with stealing. 

Police in Peterborough, Ont., say a 22-year-old man called them Saturday to report the theft of $1,000 in tools from his storage locker. 

It turned out that there were outstanding warrants for his arrest on shoplifting-related theft charges. 

 :


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## kratz (4 May 2010)

I agree with the suggestion this news report reads like a bad movie plot.   :nod:

from theguardian.ca



> Road trip to see erotic dancers ends in armed robbery, arson spree
> The Guardian
> 
> 
> ...


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## PMedMoe (4 May 2010)

> Upon arrival in New Brunswick *they got lost*, and never did find the exotic dance club.





> They headed for Moncton but *got lost again*.



Maybe they should have stole a GPS.   :


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## Old Sweat (4 May 2010)

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> Maybe they should have stole a GPS.   :



You have to be able to spell it first.  ;D


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## PMedMoe (4 May 2010)

Old Sweat said:
			
		

> You have to be able to spell it first.  ;D



Quick, what's the number for 9-1-1?


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## PMedMoe (19 May 2010)

Milkshake links man to break-ins

A refreshing chocolately drink cost a safe-cracking Kingston thief four years behind bars.

Joseph Watson was nabbed because of meticulous forensic work by investigators, some high-tech sleuthing and his own carelessness.

Watson, 51, who had already amassed more than 60 convictions for break-ins, left damning evidence behind when he broke into a west-end Kingston business.

While on the lam, Watson broke into the office of vending machine supplier Aramark Refreshment Services.

He used a welding torch to cut open a safe but apparently it was hot work.

The sweaty thief grabbed a Rolo drink, a chocolate milkshake in a bottle, before he finished his safe busting labour and fled.

He left the empty Rolo bottle behind, along with empty water bottles that he had used to douse the hot metal as he cut the safe open. Crime scene investigators scooped up the bottles, hoping they would yield a clue to the culprit's identity.

To their delight, Watson's saliva was on the Rolo bottle and that saliva made its way into a national crime scene databank where it was matched to a sample previously collected from Watson, on one of his frequent trips before a judge.

More at link

 :

Don't these people watch CSI?   ;D


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## Yrys (19 May 2010)

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> Don't these people watch CSI?   ;D



Maybe he wanted to have a fresh summer, inside  ?


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## PMedMoe (24 May 2010)

Article Link

Reproduced with the usual caveats.



> Police say a suspect in a Colorado home invasion had the evidence written all over his face.
> 
> A tattoo on the upper lip of 20-year-old Anthony Brandon Gonzales led to his arrest last week in the home invasion of an Elvis impersonator in Pueblo County.
> 
> ...



 :


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## kkwd (29 May 2010)

What can you say?

 Article link



> Teens Alert Trooper To Partially Nude Man
> Man Naked From Waist Down, Carrying Vaseline
> 
> NEW CASTLE, Ind. -- A man who police said was running through a neighborhood naked from the waist down was arrested early Saturday morning after a group of teens awakened an off-duty Indiana State Police trooper.
> ...


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## kkwd (1 Jun 2010)

This guy is a genuine idiot. The video embedded with the article has the full story.

 Article Link



> Police: He shot the wrong house
> 
> Updated: Monday, 31 May 2010, 11:13 PM EDT
> Published : Monday, 31 May 2010, 11:12 PM EDT
> ...


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## kkwd (10 Jun 2010)

Do you think they would do this over again if given the chance? Probably, you can't fix stupid.

 Article Link



> Police chase ends when car runs out of gas
> 
> Updated: Thursday, 10 Jun 2010, 8:44 AM EDT
> Published : Thursday, 10 Jun 2010, 8:44 AM EDT
> ...


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## gcclarke (10 Jun 2010)

Hey, when you steal a car, you don't necessarily get to pick one with a full tank. Although I can't say I've ran into that problem in Grand Theft Auto.... hmmm, I should e-mail Rockstar about this.


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## bekkamgov (12 Jun 2010)

I work at the police detention center in my city and not much surprises me anymore until this one came in. Charged with attempted murder.He cut off his nabours dogs head and put it in the microwave then went back to his nabours house and tried to kill her. Needless to say they sent him for a 30 day phys Evaluation .


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## Luke O (14 Jun 2010)

I got a personal dumb criminal story.

I work at a small electronics/computer repair and retail store.  We had a couple of break in's over the past couple of years, which we believe were related.   The first time a laptop was stolen.

The second part is funny.  We had replaced the door with the extra strong glass (which I can't think of the proper name for right now).  And this guy, most definitly high on drugs, came up to our door, and attempted to smash it, with a mailbox that he had already stolen from some other location.  This guy probably worked on smashing our door for a good 10 to 15 minutes, with his old trusty mailbox.

Note to all:  Mailboxes do not make good tools to break into somewhere.


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## kkwd (16 Jun 2010)

Let's see if he can get himself out of this.

 Article link



> Attorney Charged With Taking Sex As Payment
> Police: Lawyer Showed Boyfriend Video Of Encounters
> 
> POSTED: 9:44 am EDT June 16, 2010
> ...


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## PMedMoe (16 Jun 2010)

So I wonder what he was going for by showing it to her boyfriend?  More money?

Although, with the discovery of child pornography, I think his taking sex for payment is the least of his worries.   :


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## CorporalMajor (8 Jul 2010)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1196479/Pictured-The-battered-bruised-face-burglar-got-wrong-72-year-old-boxer.html

Pictured: The battered and bruised face of a burglar who got on the wrong side of a 72-year-old former boxer
By DAILY MAIL REPORTER
Last updated at 10:40 PM on 30th June 2009






He's still smiling.....

A knife-wielding burglar had a shock when he attacked a pensioner in his home - and discovered his victim was a retired boxer.

Senior citizen Frank Corti, 72, a former junior boxing champion is still a bit handy with his dukes.

And when he spotted the aforementioned intruder, Gregory McCalium, in his hallway he sprang into action and delivered two right hooks.

The blows were so powerful that McCalium, who had just lunged at Mr Corti with the knife, was left looking like he had been in 'a car accident'.

The pensioner then restrained him until police arrived. He was jailed for four and a half years yesterday after a judge told him he had 'got what he deserved'.

After sentencing, Mr Corti said: 'I was scared when he first drew the knife but most people would have acted in the same way. If you can't defend what's yours, where are we at?'

Oxford Crown Court heard the break-in was the culmination of a long-running dispute over noise between the neighbours, who live in Botley, Oxford.

McCalium, a barman, was having a rowdy party at his house on August 18 last year when police turned up after a complaint from a neighbour. 
McCalium assumed it had been made by Mr Corti - who won the National Association of Boys' Clubs Championship in Birmingham when he was 16 - and broke into his neighbour's home at 8am the following day.

Mr Corti, who was with his wife Margaret at the time, dodged out of the way of his attacker's lunge and punched him, giving him a black eye and a split lip, before subduing him.

McCalium was found guilty of aggravated burglary at a trial in March, during which he had claimed he could not remember the incident. 
John Simmons, defending, said Mr Corti, who served with the Royal Engineers in North Africa from 1956-58, had received minor injuries during the confrontation.

He added: ' Photographs of the defendant showed what looked like a car accident and photos of the scene looked more like a murder scene.'

Recorder Angela Morris said: 'Luckily, Mr Corti was an able-bodied 72-year-old who was able to defend himself. 
'The jury might well have concluded you got what you deserved when you entered that property and took a swipe at him with that weapon.

'The elderly and vulnerable people are entitled to demand the protection of courts from people like you who decide to take matters into your own hands and enter a property with a weapon.' 

Mr Corti, a retired car worker, added: 'If needed to, I would do it again.'

During sentencing at Oxford Crown Court, Brian Payne, prosecuting, said: 'There was a struggle and it was clear Mr McCalium was intoxicated because his reactions were slow.

'It seems Mr McCalium ended up with far more serious injuries.'


After the sentencing, Detective Constable Jon Shaw said: 'Fortunately no-one was more injured in this incident but this was still a terrifying situation and McCalium must now pay for his actions.

'I hope that the victim, and his wife, might now be able to put this ordeal behind them and get on with their lives.' 

During the trial, Mr Corti described how he had been woken during the night by noise from next door for several months before the incident. 


He told the court: 'They would slam the doors, then they would start partying. You could hear shouting, screaming and music.'

Mr Corti said he called police when he found McCalium banging on the front door of his house at about 6.30am.

Two hours later, he said, he came downstairs and saw bar worker McCalium in his hallway.

Mr Corti said: 'The accused produced a knife. It was no ordinary knife, it was more like a six-bladed knuckle duster.

'He made a slashing movement at me. I stepped back. He missed me, fortunately.'

Mr Corti said that while McCalium was off balance, he grabbed both of his wrists and managed to pin his arms against the wall.

He added he asked McCalium to drop the knife but he wouldn?t.

Mr Corti said: 'I shouted to my wife to ring the police.

'I was absolutely petrified.

'As I saw it, it was a matter of do or die so I let his wrists go. Fortunately the element of surprise was with me, so I adjusted my position and hit him with my right hand. It was just below the eye.

'I did not knock him out, but he was stunned. I heard the knife drop. We grappled. I was trying to drag him out of the back door. We both fell to the floor. I had to subdue him by punching him, which I did not take a great deal of pleasure in.?

The jury heard he then lay on top of McCalium until the police arrived.






  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	






Talk about getting your ass handed to you.....


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## kratz (28 Jul 2010)

This is making me shake my head.

link



> 50c robbery cracks up bank staff
> By NICOLA BRENNAN - Waikato Times
> Last updated 12:30 27/07/2010
> 
> ...


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## riggermade (28 Jul 2010)

I heard of two today:

First was a guy tried to rob a Starbucks and didn't realize there was two cops waiting for their coffee and the Starbucks was across the street from the station

Next was a women who shoplifted at a store...the next day she handed in a resume wearing the clothes she stole then proceeded to lift some more...police tracked her down from her resume


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## Container (28 Jul 2010)

Here's two:

I had a kid break into a store and steal the safe. He dragged it outside and put it on a sled. He then dragged the sled to his house. I show and follow the sled tracks all the way to the house where he and a friend are trying to carry the safe up the stairs.

Another kid breaks into a house and steals beer. Also stolen? A flower pattern suitcase to facilitate moving the beer. On that suitcase? A nametag for the owner. Found the kid dragging a flower covered suitcase down the street full of beer with someone else's name on it. Kid doesn't read very good- suitcase is filled with Muggs Rootbeer.


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## PegcityNavy (28 Jul 2010)

I had my blackberry stolen from my car 2 weeks ago, i called into Telus and had them put it on hold so it could not be reactivated. I had come to the conclusion i was not getting it back so i  was going to buy a used one from a man off Kijiji. Ten minutes later I get an email from this guy asking me if i could phone into telus and deactivate the phone he had just purchased. I then proceeded to tell the person that he had my stolen phone and i had his name and phone number. I made him take it to the police station and picked it up the next day. So happily i got my blackberry back.


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## kratz (6 Aug 2010)

Faking a disease for profit and free vacations. How do you expect not to get caught?



> Woman faked cancer to raise money
> Published On Fri Aug 6 2010
> Brendan Kennedy, Staff Reporter
> 
> ...



More at LINK

Facebook charity page she started - "Change" for a Cure.

MySpace photos of her free vacation to Disneyland.


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## kkwd (9 Aug 2010)

BANG BANG - Or - How I fared when I brought a wrench to a gunfight. A story with a happy ending.

 Article link



> Homeowner: Attacker Left With No Money, 2 Shells
> Man Fends Off Attack, Shoots Would-Be Robber
> 
> INDIANAPOLIS -- A man who police said was attacked in his own home by another man he had asked to price some repairs bit off more than he could chew when he encountered James Neligh, 59.
> ...


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## GAP (9 Aug 2010)

Report: Groom kills 3 guest in accidental shooting 
Article Link

Sun Aug 8, 9:17 AM

By The Associated Press
ADVERTISEMENT

ANKARA, Turkey - The state-run news agency says a groom has killed his father and two aunts after opening fire into the air with an automatic weapon to celebrate his wedding.

The Anatolia news agency says eight other relatives were injured during Sunday's celebration in the southeastern province of Gaziantep.

It says the groom lost control of the weapon and accidentally aimed at guests. He was arrested.

It is tradition in Turkey to shoot into the air to celebrate weddings, circumcisions or sports victories. Turkey has failed to curb the practice despite imposing harsher punishments to cut down on stray bullet accidents.

Police in Gaziantep were not available for comment.
end


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## GAP (19 Aug 2010)

Police call 'Ma' on dropped cellphone, ID suspect 
Article Link

Wed Aug 18, 9:17 PM

By The Associated Press
ADVERTISEMENT

ATHENS, Ga. - Thanks a lot, Mom.

Police seeking a man accused of breaking into an elementary school say they identified the suspect by calling "Ma" from the contact list of a cellphone he dropped as he fled.

A police report says officers responding to an alarm at an elementary school in Athens in northeast Georgia arrived in time Monday to see a man running through the cafeteria and out the back door.

Police failed to catch the man, but say he dropped his cellphone as he ran.

According to the report, officers picked up the phone, searched the contact list and called a number marked "Ma." They say a woman who answered gave them her son's name.

The suspect wasn't immediately identified.
More on link


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## Sapplicant (26 Aug 2010)

Found this gem after checking my e-mail. I thought it was cute. People like this make me feel good about my life ;D

http://news.ca.msn.com/world/cp-article.aspx?cp-documentid=25350187


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## GAP (29 Aug 2010)

Million-to-one shot: Man tries to exchange fake $1 million bills at Emirates' Central Bank
By: The Associated Press Posted: 29/08/2010 
http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/million-to-one-shot-man-tries-to-exchange-fake-1-million-bills-at-emirates-central-bank-101747278.html

ABU DHABI, United Arab Emirates - Can you break a $1 million?

Not a chance. But the story is rich in audacity.

A man from the Ivory Coast is in police custody in Abu Dhabi after allegedly persuading a woman to try to exchange two phoney $1 million bills at the UAE's Central Bank.

Police say the suspect promised the woman a 30 per cent cut after the bills were traded — presumably for U.S. bills or UAE dirham. The suspect was identified in press reports Sunday only by the initials A.B.

The phoney notes feature the $1 portrait of George Washington and are mostly black and white on the front.

The National newspaper quotes Col. Rashid Mohammed Bursheed, the head of the organized crime unit, as saying the suspect claims he thought the bills were real


----------



## EpicBeardedMan (29 Aug 2010)

When I was chasing someone for theft in an LCBO (Soon as he passes all points of sale it shows intent for theft, he doesn't have to leave the store) he turned around and saw me coming...but in the vestibule instead of going outside he ran back into the store and we chased him around the store for 5 minutes before finally grounding him and arresting him lol. I don't know what he was thinking he was going to do.


----------



## kkwd (29 Aug 2010)

Catch this guy's next show at the county jail. At those shows the hecklers punch the comics out.

 Article link



> Police: 3 Shot When Comic Opens Fire In Bar
> Man, 2 Women Shot In Legs In Marion Bar
> 
> MARION, Ind. -- Three people were shot when a stand-up comedian opened fire in a crowded Marion sports bar early Saturday, police said.
> ...


----------



## PMedMoe (10 Sep 2010)

*2 arrested in Australia after wrestling python outside McDonald's; snake stolen from pet shop*

MELBOURNE, Australia - Two men were arrested after bewildered diners at a McDonald's spotted them wrestling a 5-foot (1.5 metre) python named Boris in the restaurant parking lot, police said Thursday. 

Victoria state police say the men stole the 8-year-old black-headed python and a lizard from a pet shop on Wednesday. They then brought the snake to the McDonald's parking lot, where they began wrestling with it in front of puzzled customers, police said. 

The men, aged 22 and 24, were arrested and charged with burglary and theft. Police didn't release their names.

"In all honesty, it's just a case of dumb and dumber," Detective Sgt. Andrew Beams told Australian Broadcasting Corp. *"Anyone who gets out there with a one-and-a-half meter python in a McDonald's car park — they're pretty dumb." * 

More at link

Ummm, yep, I'd think so.......   ;D


----------



## PMedMoe (17 Sep 2010)

Robbery getaway car locked

*It may have been the perfect robbery for Calgarian David William Welychka but for one minor oversight -- he forgot to leave his getaway car unlocked*. 

Welychka was sentenced to three years Thursday for robbing a southeast Husky station of $800 on Dec. 4, 2007. 

Police were able to easily track Welychka to his home after witnesses got his licence number while he searched, in a panic, to find something to smash his way into his getaway vehicle. 

Welychka, 54, had locked his keys in his car before entering the Husky and robbing the clerk at knifepoint. 

When he went to make his escape and discovered his error he returned to the store to ask for a hammer before exiting again and grabbing a fire extinguisher from near the gas pumps. 

He used the device to smash his driver's side window. 

Police later found the vehicle parked on the street outside Welychka's home, the extinguisher on the seat inside amid shards of broken glass. 

More at link

 :rofl:


----------



## J.J (20 Nov 2010)

Not even sure what to say...check the link, she is a beauty

http://current.com/1s4bb4c


Meet Melissa Lee Williams. The West Virginia woman, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct at a motor inn.

The October 22 incident is detailed in an amusing/gross Jackson County Sheriff’s Department report excerpted here.

According to investigators, Williams--who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn--showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my *****.” At this point, Williams, pictured in the mug shot at right, “commenced to undress herself,” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger.

While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my ***** or I’m going to cut your ******* throat.”

When Deputy Mellinger arrived on the scene he observed Williams--who, like the two men, appeared to be intoxicated--nude from the waist down. After pocketing a knife that was on the coffee table in front of Williams, Mellinger arrested her for domestic assault and brandishing a deadly weapon.

Williams, who was released from jail after posting $3000 bond, is next due in Jackson County Magistrate Court on February 16.


----------



## PMedMoe (20 Nov 2010)

WR, I couldn't get your link to open, but found this one:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/west-virginia/woman-utters-line-never-previously-recorded-police-report

Yep, she's a real looker...........if you're blind.   ;D


----------



## CorporalMajor (24 Nov 2010)

WR said:
			
		

> Not even sure what to say...check the link, she is a beauty
> 
> http://current.com/1s4bb4c
> 
> ...



I really shouldn't have looked at her mug ..makes it even worse.........  :-X


----------



## kkwd (3 Dec 2010)

This jewel will have a court date that will be very entertaining. 

 Article link



> Police: Drug Dealer Solicited Prosecutor By Mistake Man Arrested On Drug Charges
> 
> MARTINSVILLE, Ind. -- A Martinsville man faces drug charges after police said he meant to text a customer but ended up negotiating a buy with the Morgan County Prosecutor's Office.
> 
> ...


----------



## kratz (29 Dec 2010)

This time of year is rife with Top 10 lists. Here is Chatham police's "dumbest criminal" for 2010:



> Police pick "dumbest criminal" of 2010
> 680News staff Dec 29, 2010 16:10:55 PM
> CHATHAM, Ont. - Police in Chatham have unveiled their "dumbest criminal of the year."
> 
> ...


----------



## George Wallace (10 Jan 2011)

Reproduced under the Fair Dealings provisions of the Copyright Act.

US man with warrants gives false name during traffic stop - of guy who was also wanted 

07/01/2011 1:31:00 PM
The Associated Press 

LINK

*GREAT FALLS, Mont. - Authorities say a man who had three outstanding warrants for his arrest gave officers a false name during a traffic stop - but ended up in custody anyway because that man was also wanted.
*

Court records say that during a traffic stop Monday in Great Falls, Jonothan Ray Gonsalez, of Box Elder, told police that his name was Timothy Michael Koop Jr.

The officer learned a man by that name was wanted in Hill County and arrested him.

Police say a search of Gonsalez after his arrest turned up half a gram of methamphetamine in his jacket pocket and he was charged with criminal possession of dangerous drugs.

The Great Falls Tribune reports Gonsalez gave his real name on Tuesday, so a charge of issuing a false report to law enforcement was added.


----------



## stukirkpatrick (10 Jan 2011)

that happens more often than one would think!

It's just as funny when somebody gives a fake name of a friend (who is wanted) when the original person doesn't even have any warrants...  but ends up in custody due to obstruction, among other things.


----------



## GAP (10 Jan 2011)

Intoxicated burglar can’t find his way out of home and calls police for help
Article Link
Elspeth Lodge  January 10, 2011 – 6:17 pm

A Delaware man was arrested when he called 911, after he broke into a home and couldn’t find his way out again, Wilmington’s News Journal reports.

Police say the man, identified as John Finch, wandered around the house for three days last week after entering the dwelling via a back-window.

Mr. Finch helped himself to drinks from the liquor cabinet and after consuming two bottles of whiskey and several of gin, he was too intoxicated to find his way out of the house — all the doors were dead bolted and he couldn’t get back out the window he had entered through.

Mr. Finch then made his call to 911 and when officers arrived they tried to get Mr. Finch too let himself out of the door. Officer Michael Bingnear, who responded to the call, told the News Journal:

    “He said, ‘I can’t. It’s locked.’ At that point, we were getting frustrated with him. He was sitting on the couch as we were telling him to unlock the back door. It took us about 20 minutes to get in, with him repeating himself.”

Finally, officers broke open the door and the burglar was free. Sort of. Mr. Finch will face charges over the break-in as well as charges over a break-in at the same residence in April.

Despite the hassle, police are grateful for Mr. Finch’s unusual 911 call.

    “In all my 12 years on the force, it’s not something that’s a usual occurrence. If it were, it would make our job a lot easier,” an officer told the News Journal.


Read more: http://news.nationalpost.com/2011/01/10/intoxicated-burglar-cant-find-his-way-out-of-home-and-calls-police-for-help/#ixzz1AgvjLEvm

end


----------



## Sapplicant (11 Jan 2011)

First nominee for 2011's Darwin Award.


----------



## Journeyman (11 Jan 2011)

Sapplicant said:
			
		

> First nominee for 2011's Darwin Award.


Brandishing a fake gun against the police -- Darwin Award, or suicide by cop?


----------



## PMedMoe (11 Jan 2011)

Journeyman said:
			
		

> suicide by cop?



That's what I was thinking.


----------



## GAP (12 Jan 2011)

Not a criminal, but he does qualify as dumb...........

Quebec man shoots self in face
By Doug Hempstead, QMI Agency  
Article Link

OTTAWA - A 57-year-old Outaouais, Que., man is in hospital after shooting himself in the face while cleaning his hunting rifle Monday morning.

The man's 28-year-old stepdaughter was in the apartment above the garage of a home in the Notre-Dame-de-la-Salette area when she heard a noise around 9:30 a.m.

The man was still conscious when she found him in the garage.

He was transported to the Hull hospital with serious injuries to his face, but his life is not in danger, according to police.

The police investigation determined it was an accidental discharge. The man had last used the rifle in December and had stored it while still loaded.
More on link


----------



## kkwd (12 Jan 2011)

This is just dead wrong.

 Article link



> Man Accused Of Having Sex With Corpse
> Woman Found Dead In Her Apartment
> 
> WASHINGTON, Ind. -- An Ohio man accused of having sex with a corpse told investigators he didn't at first realize the woman was dead.
> ...


----------



## kkwd (14 Jan 2011)

More regarding my last post. 

 Article link



> Cops: Man taped sex act with dead woman
> 
> WASHINGTON, Ind. (WTHI) - More charges filed in a strange southern Indiana case involving an Ohio man accused of having sex with a dead woman.
> 
> ...


----------



## nuclearzombies (14 Jan 2011)

Something I witnessed myself. I'm not so sure it's so much a stupid criminal, rather it was criminally stupid. 

So I'm on the bus at 0600 to get to work, we turn a corner and feel a small bump.... the bus driver pulls over right away and starts freaking out... "HOW THE HELL DO YOU RUN INTO A BUS!!! IT'S A GIANT WHITE BOX?!?!?!"
So we passengers pile off the bus, to see a small hatchback stuck to the back of the bus. The person driving the car got out  - with a curling iron in one hand,  cell phone in the other hand and still talking!! When the police showed up, she got mad at them and lied about the curling iron/cell phone thing. The police were suitably amused, and awarded her a free ride to jail and a comlimentary impound for her vehicle, which I found out later from the cops was a 5 speed. And she actually tried to fight it in court, saying all the passengers on the bus were lying and conspiring to screw her over.... I still chuckle out loud thinking about it....


----------



## GAP (19 Jan 2011)

Burglars snort cremated man’s ashes
By JANE SUTTON, Reuters
Article Link

MIAMI - Burglars snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs in the mistaken belief that they had stolen illegal drugs, Florida sheriff’s deputies said Wednesday.

The ashes were taken from a woman’s home in the central Florida town of Silver Springs Shores on Dec. 15. The thieves took an urn containing the ashes of her father and another container with the ashes of her two Great Danes, along with electronic equipment and jewelry, the Marion County Sheriff’s Office said.

Investigators learned what happened to the ashes after they arrested five teens in connection with another burglary attempt at a nearby home last week.

“The suspects mistook the ashes for either cocaine or heroin. It was soon discovered that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine,” the sheriff’s report said.

Once they realized their error, the suspects discussed returning the remaining ashes but threw them in a lake instead because they thought their fingerprints were on the containers, sheriff’s spokesman Judge Cochran said.

Police divers were trying to recover the ashes. The suspects were jailed on numerous burglary and other charges.
end


----------



## kratz (20 Jan 2011)

Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction:

Ottawa Citizen




> Burglars snort man’s ashes, thought it was cocaine
> Reuters January 20, 2011 11:37 AM
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## kkwd (20 Jan 2011)

I hope they give this guy a rubber donut when he goes to jail. 

 Article link



> Cops: Suspect shot during home invasion
> 
> INDIANAPOLIS (WISH) - Metro Police are investigating a home invasion that ended with the intruder being shot by the homeowner.
> 
> ...


----------



## HavokFour (20 Jan 2011)

In today's 24H News Ottawa paper:



> *THAT'S ONE WAY TO MEET YOUR NEIGHBOURS*
> 
> A single man in Victoria, B.C., woke up early Saturday morning when he heard someone open the door to his apartment, police said. "A few minutes later a woman came into his bedroom, promptly disrobed, slid into the bed next to him and fell asleep," Victoria police said on the force's blog. "The man lives on his own, last time he checked." The man called police at 3:20 a.m. Saturday. When police arrived, the woman was still asleep. They discovered she had the right building and apartment number, but the wrong floor. The woman, who police said was "quit intoxicated," was taken into custody until she sobered up. *- QMI AGENCY*


----------



## kkwd (20 Jan 2011)

Stupid comes in threes I guess. As for the soft spoken guy, maybe he was just asking for a pack of smokes and was very happy when they gave him some cash. 

 Article link



> Bandits hit pizza driver, quick store, restaurant in Indy
> 
> Bandits had a busy night Wednesday, sticking up a pizza driver, a convenience store and restaurant in unrelated incidents.
> 
> ...


----------



## nuclearzombies (21 Jan 2011)

DISCLAIMER! the following summary is in my words, in which I have strived to be as accurate as possible.

link to the Calgary Sun article here: http://www.calgarysun.com/news/alberta/2011/01/20/16960831.html

The latest in criminal stupidity, Calgary Edition: Okay, so a vehicle with two men inside was stopped under suspicion of DUI by RCMP in Chestermere, a town just east of Calgary. RCMP had removed the driver of the vehicle to assess his ability to operate when the passenger moved into the driver's seat and sped away, nearly striking an RCMP constable. The man was spotted in Calgary (Forest Lawn area) and a low speed pursuit ensued around the neighborhood of Dover. 

Somehow, this guy managed to drive off the hill overlooking Deerfoot Trail, landing in the canal at the bottom (with only minor injuries!). He's fortunate the CPS had an eye on him.. I couldn't figure out at first how the heck he pulled this off, as you have to intentionally drive off of the street, over the short pile of snow left by snowplows and across 40 or so feet of open ground also covered in a foot of snow. The drop itself is a fairly steep and uneven grade, about a 15-20 metre drop at the very least. So a buddy and I drove by the scene yesterday afternoon, and it appears as though the guy was trying to drive along the bike path that runs along the top of the hill, which coincidentally is also covered in snow. But he got just a little too close to the edge and went over. The really crazy part is that there are a number of boulders scattered about the hillside, and more along the bike path at the bottom before the canal. He managed to miss everything on the way down but the canal!


----------



## raiseitup (23 Jan 2011)

My car was broken into then later when I called the tow truck driver, the suspect kindly asked if I knew how to turn on MY cell phone LOL!


----------



## Steel Badger (24 Jan 2011)

Today, my shift, my unit:

One of my finest gets reclassed to segregation for the usual bout of violence and infantile behaviour....

A search of his cell reveals his calendar / day planner ( provided to inmates by the Salvation Army ): in his wee book he had helpfully jotted down each day he got in / started a fight with other inmates; drugs he had used and hidden inside the joint ( including types, amounts  and pers obtained from) and weapons hidden on the range...

Almost all the info was corroborated via our own intell gathering............

Muppet!


----------



## midget-boyd91 (24 Jan 2011)

raiseitup said:
			
		

> My car was broken into then later when I called the tow truck driver, the suspect kindly asked if I knew how to turn on MY cell phone LOL!



I had someone scoping out my new car checking what's in it worth stealing, if anything. Decided they'd sneak in around the garage from the apartments beside me. This was just after we got about twenty cm of snow.... fresh snow with a trail of fresh footprints leading right back to the sneaky dumb*ss.


----------



## HavokFour (30 Jan 2011)

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41339442/ns/local_news-miami_fl/?ocid=twitter


----------



## nuclearzombies (11 Feb 2011)

71 year old grandmother interrupts attempted robbery, hits would be robbers with her purse, and chases them off. 
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/video/odd-22186925/super-granny-beats-bad-guys-24131828.html#crsl=%252Fvideo%252Fodd-22186925%252Fsuper-granny-beats-bad-guys-24131828.html


----------



## Newapplicant78 (12 Feb 2011)

Received a call from a company located in the USA from a company name said too fast to think. They were requesting my Canadian SIN, DOB, employment status etc to see if I qualified for a social security cheque (not a free trip) from the USA. That said I hung up the phone. Watch out for those calls folks. I posted my reply on one of those report a phone number sites you can Google by entering the number that called into the search engine.
That's how I know it came from States side I Google the number.  :boring:


----------



## kratz (15 Feb 2011)

from CNN.com

100 foot homemade Colombian narcotics submarine found. It has a crew of 4, carry 8 tons of cargo and travel 30 feet below the surface.


----------



## kkwd (26 Feb 2011)

Public nudity? That's a stretch.

 Article link



> NFL scout arrested for public nudity
> Rams' scout found drunk peeing on building
> 
> INDIANAPOLIS (WISH) - A scout for the Saint Louis Rams won’t be doing much scouting at the combine.
> ...


----------



## 211RadOp (21 Mar 2011)

From today's Kingston Whig Standard.  Not sure when it happened, but he was sentanced last Tuesday.

http://www.kingstonwhigstandard.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=3035937

Bank robber hands bank teller his ID
By QMI AGENCY
Posted 5 hours ago
  

A bank robber was thwarted by a brave teller in Texas.

After the would-be thief demanded cash, the teller responded that she could only hand over the dough if he produced identification, which the thief was happy to do in return for $800.

Nathan Wayne Pugh, 49, produced his client card for the very bank he was robbing as well as a Texas state identification card.

Pugh was sentenced on Tuesday to eight years in federal prison.


----------



## 211RadOp (21 Mar 2011)

Anyone need some body parts?

Man arrested while attempting to sell body parts
By QMI AGENCY
Posted 5 hours ago
  

SHINYAGA, Tanzania-- A Tanzanian man was arrested after he was caught trying to sell his wife's severed head, breasts and genitals to police, claiming it was pork.

Police arrested the man at 9 a.m. local time Friday, as he tried to sell the butchered re-ma ins in Shinyanga, local news outlet the Citizen reported.

Diwani Athumani, Shinyanga's police commander, said the suspect approached officers stationed outside a bank with the bag of grisly contents.

"He went to the bank with a polyethylene bag containing the human body parts that he claimed was pork for sale," Athumani told the news agency.

After the man's arrest, he told investigators the body parts belonged to his 18-year-old wife, who he admitted to slaying in her sleep.

The remainder of her corpse was found in a rented room.

Police said the man claimed he killed his wife after hearing on the radio that people desired to buy woman's body parts.

The man will undergo a psychiatric assessment prior to trial.

The sale of human body parts is not uncommon in the East African state, where they are reportedly used by witch doctors.

http://www.kingstonwhigstandard.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=3035922


----------



## Journeyman (21 Mar 2011)

211RadOp said:
			
		

> Man arrested while attempting to sell body parts


That's not a dumb criminal story; it's more an example of how fucked-up some people, and some parts of the world, are.


----------



## 211RadOp (21 Mar 2011)

I added it here because of this line in the article



> trying to sell his wife's severed head, breasts and genitals to *police*, claiming it was pork



Anyone trying to sell body parts to the police is dumb in my books.


----------



## Container (23 Mar 2011)

I might be suspicious of the pig that had a womans head.....


----------



## Journeyman (23 Mar 2011)

Container said:
			
		

> I might be suspicious of the pig that had a womans head.....


Must....not.........respond........


----------



## HavokFour (25 Mar 2011)

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/38/20110324/tod-man-goes-on-shooting-spree-over-burr-045b8e8.html



> The drama unfolded on Sunday at the Taco Bell/KFC drive-through in San Antonio, Texas, as Ricardo Jones was told that the promotion on the Beefy Crunch Burrito had ended.
> 
> According to restaurant manager Brian Tillerson, the 37-year-old ordered seven burritos at $1.49 (92p) each, when he flew into a fit of rage, pulled out an air gun and fired shots at an employee.
> 
> San Antonio Police Department said that they later tracked down the enraged man as he ordered food at a nearby Burger King.


----------



## Newapplicant78 (26 Mar 2011)

<a href="http://www.canada.com/news/Nova+Scotia+sentenced+cross+burning/4087874/story.html">Cross Burning</a>

He said quote 





> “It was a stupid, drunken mistake that I’ll never forgive myself for the rest of my life,”



<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3K2vEYbtKs&feature=related">Drunk people try stunts like this one</a>  :blotto:


----------



## Sapplicant (8 Apr 2011)

So a guy tried to break into a beauty queen's house, and got shot with a pink gun. link


If there's one thing I've learned from listening to Tommy Shaw, it's that everyone says don't go messin' with a girl with guns. Dumbass.


----------



## HavokFour (11 Apr 2011)

*Defecating dog sparks US shootout*​


----------



## jollyjacktar (1 May 2011)

Foiled by his baggy pants! The moment a trendy beer thief went flying in the worst getaway ever

He's the would-be thief who got away with nothing - not even his dignity.  This CCTV footage shows one of the worst escapes ever after a robbery at an E-Z Food Store in Lake Wales, Florida.  The suspect was racing towards his getaway car with a case of beer in his arms when his baggy pants proved his undoing.

Video link  http://bcove.me/62la3oc0

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1382273/Foiled-baggy-pants-The-moment-trendy-beer-thief-went-flying-worst-getaway-ever.html#ixzz1L8Neqawz


----------



## RememberanceDay (7 May 2011)

kkwd said:
			
		

> I hope they give this guy a rubber donut when he goes to jail.
> 
> Article link



Don't let the bullets hit you in the arse on the way out  :warstory:


----------



## PMedMoe (29 Jul 2011)

Facebook taunt leads police to wanted man

A U.S. fugitive who taunted police on Facebook, writing, "Catch me if you can, I'm in Brooklyn," has been arrested. 

Victor Burgos, 29, was sitting at his computer with his Facebook page open when U.S. marshals tracked him down in his apartment, the New York Daily News reported Thursday. 

He was wanted on multiple arrest warrants for domestic violence and harassment. 

"He told us via Facebook to come and get him and we did," Utica police Sgt. Steve Hauck told the newspaper.

Link to NY Daily News story

 :rofl:


----------



## PMedMoe (10 Sep 2011)

Man dressed as Gumby tries to rob store



> The costumed man announced he was robbing the store, but the clerk thought it was a joke, police said.
> 
> "Gumby said, 'You don't think it's a robbery? Let me show you my gun,'" Hassen said.
> 
> ...



So how come the accomplice wasn't dressed as Pokey?    ;D


----------



## Pusser (10 Sep 2011)

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> Man dressed as Gumby tries to rob store
> 
> So how come the accomplice wasn't dressed as Pokey?    ;D



Didn't have enough horse sense?  ;D


----------



## PMedMoe (5 Oct 2011)

Tee hee hee.   ;D

Cops lure fugitives with free TV offer

Instead of going home with $75 and a plasma TV, fugitives in Chicago were locked up.

In Operation C.W. Marketing, the Cook County Sheriff's Office sent 10,000 offenders wanted for a variety of reasons -- from unpaid child support, traffic offenses and violent felonies -- invitations to take part in electronics testing. The invites said that in exchange for their feedback, they would get $75 and could keep the electronic device they tested.

The invitations went to the most recent address for those on the wanted list, and while thousands were returned as undeliverable, more than 50 fugitives made appointments to take part.

......

Police said the ruse resulted in 102 arrests, with 106 warrants cleared -- 15 felonies, 72 misdemeanours and 15 from civil courts. The county also collected more than $5,000 in fees from towing vehicles as part of the operation.

More at link

That's great!   :nod:


----------



## FlyingDutchman (5 Oct 2011)

That just shows that if its to good to be true, it probably is.


----------



## PMedMoe (5 Oct 2011)

FlyingDutchman said:
			
		

> That just shows that if its to good to be true, it probably is.



What would be even more ironic, would be if some of these crooks were scammers.    >


----------



## FlyingDutchman (5 Oct 2011)

Here is my personal dumb criminal story.  A man came in, drunk as a skunk soaked in vodka, and demanded all my coffee.   I, not wanting to be confontational with a drunk man, said "Okay" as most just leave after they get what they get what they want.  He then said "I'm gonna be back in a minute to rob you!"  He walked out the door and then passed out across of the carwash entrance.  I checked his pulse, turned him onto his side, and called the police.  After informing them of what happened, about half an hour later they came to pick him up (he wasn't going anywhere.)


----------



## PMedMoe (6 Oct 2011)

Speeder caught by his own cellphone

A Swiss motorist used his mobile phone to record himself driving on an autoroute near Geneva at 320 km an hour, nearly three times the speed limit, police said on Wednesday.

But the offence was only uncovered six months later when the 28-year-old was questioned in another case and investigators found the images still on the phone.

 :facepalm:


----------



## cupper (7 Oct 2011)

Good thing we don't have a three strikes law in Canada, cause his count is 2-0.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/story/2011/10/05/ns-drunk-driver-arrested-twice.html

*Double trouble for suspected drunk driver*

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/story/2011/10/05/ns-drunk-driver-arrested-twice.html


----------



## Nfld Sapper (24 Oct 2011)

Corvette traps would-be thief in B.C.
The Canadian Press

A would-be car thief in Prince George, B.C., has learned a powerful lesson from a powerless car.

He now knows that the Corvette he tried to steal on Sunday afternoon becomes nothing more than a four-wheeled holding cell when the battery dies.

RCMP Sgt. Jason Keays told the Prince George Citizen the 21-year-old jumped into the idling Corvette just as the owner was putting away a charger used to revive the sports car's dead battery.

The owner watched in disbelief as the thief rolled up the power windows, locked the power doors — and promptly stalled the vehicle while trying to back out of the driveway.

Without enough juice in the battery to restart the car, the suspect was trapped inside as the Corvette withstood his efforts to smash a window or pry one open with a screwdriver.

As police arrived, Keays says the man was trying to bash his way out with a hatchet stored in his backpack, but instead was arrested and charged with various theft and weapons offences.


----------



## PMedMoe (24 Oct 2011)

NFLD Sapper said:
			
		

> The owner watched in disbelief as the thief rolled up the power windows, locked the power doors — and promptly stalled the vehicle while trying to back out of the driveway.



 :rofl:


----------



## PMedMoe (4 Nov 2011)

British 'dead man' caught in Australia

A British man who allegedly faked his own death and made off with the life insurance payout has been arrested in Australia, police said Thursday, ending a six-year manhunt.

Hugo Jose Sanchez, 47, also known as Alfredo, was taken into Australian Federal Police custody overnight in Sydney, the force said.

Ecuadorian-born Sanchez and his wife Sophie allegedly faked his death to claim more than one million pounds in life insurance in 2005, *but the plot reportedly unravelled after Sanchez's fingerprints were found on his own death certificate.*

More at link

Whoops!   ;D


----------



## PMedMoe (1 Jan 2012)

Buying microwave with $1M bill leads to arrest

Police say a North Carolina man insisted his million-dollar note was real when he was buying $476 worth of items at a Walmart.

Investigators told the Winston-Salem Journal that 53-year-old Michael Fuller tried to buy a vacuum cleaner, a microwave oven and other items. Store employees called police after his insistence that the bill was legit, and Fuller was arrested.

The largest bill in circulation is $100. The government stopped making bills of up to $10,000 in 1969.


 :not-again:


----------



## kkwd (29 Mar 2012)

Hey dumb guy, don't you know you are not allowed to mess with other people's houses? Now you won't be able to sit down for a month. 

 Article link



> Shelby County homeowner shoots man trying to get inside
> 
> Written by
> Kristine Guerra
> ...


----------



## PMedMoe (13 Apr 2012)

Glad they caught this ass.   

Six bulldog puppies rescued from locked suitcase

What could be more adorable than six bulldog puppies sitting in a suitcase? As cute as the above photo is, it has a less-than-heartening beginning.

An Ohio man has been charged with animal abandonment after Humane Society authorities matched his name with a suitcase in which the six puppies had been trapped. The suitcase, allegedly belonging to Howard Davis, 53, had been left next to a garbage can in a Toledo alleyway.

The puppies were discovered after someone noticed their mother pacing around the closed suitcase.

Toledo Area Humane Society spokeswoman Cyndi Condit told Reuters that Davis lives only two blocks from where the puppies were found.
*
"Howard's name was on the tag of the suitcase and the mother was licensed to him," Condit said.*

If convicted, Davis faces a maximum sentence of 90 days in jail and a $750 fine. Davis claims the suitcase was stolen from him and that he had given the dogs to a friend in Michigan.

More at link


----------



## PMedMoe (19 Nov 2012)

And yet another doofus....

Google search and ads lead straight to thief

Shawn Cromwell made it pretty easy for police to find him – with an assist from the homeowner he had stolen from. 

The 26-year-old was selling stolen goods on the web-based classified site Kijiji, Ontario Court of Justice heard Tuesday, listing his real name, address and phone number as a point of contact. 

Cromwell pleaded guilty to charges of break and enter, three counts of possession of property obtained by crime, unsafe storage of a firearm and possession of a firearm without a proper licence. 

Crown attorney Jim Hughes said items valued at about $5,000, including a drill press, were stolen from a Galway-Cavendish and Harvey home June 25. 

But the thief left one item behind, a cigarette butt that police sent to the Centre of Forensic Science in Toronto for analysis. 

.....

Police began preparing a warrant to obtain a DNA sample from Cromwell to make sure they had a match. They also asked the homeowner who was robbed if he knew Cromwell, Hughes said. 

The two were strangers. But the homeowner did a Google search using Cromwell’s name, which sent him to the ads on Kijiji. 

More at link

 :facepalm:


----------



## kkwd (3 Jan 2013)

Someone could lose an eye. 

 Original article



> Muncie woman captures intruder with BB gun
> 
> A Muncie woman awakened by a "crashing sound" in her home early Wednesday found a convicted burglar hiding behind her Christmas tree, according to a police report.
> 
> ...


----------



## kkwd (7 Jan 2013)

Muncie again? You might remember that town from the short lives series called  Armed & Famous. There are 9 bail bonds companies in that town, not bad for a population of 70,000. Bad Boys Bail Bond never close, look them up if you ever get in a jam in Muncie.

 Original article



> Muncie man notches his 115th arrest
> 
> 
> MUNCIE -- A local man last week was behind bars -- again -- after his 115th arrest since the jail in the Delaware County Justice Center opened in the early 1990s.
> ...


----------



## The Bread Guy (7 Jan 2013)

DOHHHH!


> Posting on Facebook that you’ve just robbed a convenience store isn’t the brightest idea in the world.
> 
> But apparently that’s just what one alleged crook did after a Mac’s Convenience store on Simpson Street was robbed.
> 
> ...


tbnewswatch.com, 7 Jan 13


----------



## Journeyman (8 Jan 2013)

milnews.ca said:
			
		

> DOHHHH!


It's kind of reassuring to see that, despite the best efforts of defence lawyers and hand-wringing folks, Darwin is still fighing through _trying _ to rid us of the most dumb.  :not-again:


----------



## PMedMoe (25 Jan 2013)

Oh, the irony of it all....

Drunk driver busted wearing 'breathalyzer' T-shirt

A Wisconsin man must not have known how ironic his T-shirt choice would be when he put it on yesterday morning. 

Bryan Wendler was arrested for his 6th drinking and driving charge after being found passed out in his car wearing a ‘Free breathalyzer Test’ T-shirt. 

More at link

 :rofl:


----------



## cupper (29 Jan 2013)

BOAZ, Ala. (AP) — Police in Boaz say a man who was injured in a car crash has been arrested for stealing an ambulance after being taken to the hospital.

WAFF-TV (http://bit.ly/Yc9x4N ) reported Monday that 24-year-old Matthew Todd, of Boaz, was intoxicated during a crash in Sardis Friday and was hospitalized afterward.

Authorities say Todd was waiting for a room and eventually took off in an ambulance. Police found the ambulance abandoned in Boaz the next morning and say Todd tried stealing a horse but did not know how to properly saddle it. When that failed, police say Todd stole a car, returned to the hospital for treatment and was arrested.

Police say Todd is charged with two counts of auto theft and one count of burglary. He's being held on $7,500 bond.


----------



## BeyondTheNow (3 Feb 2013)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/05/alan-golden_n_1321093.html?utm_hp_ref=stupid-criminals


Alan Golden, 'Dine And Dash' Suspect, Arrested During Police Fundraiser
Huffington Post   David Lohr 
First Posted: 03/ 5/2012 12:22 pm Updated: 03/ 5/2012 12:22 pm


Police in New Mexico recently arrested a man for allegedly attempting to pull a dine-and-dash at a restaurant that was hosting a police fundraiser.

According to the Dona Ana County Sheriff's Office, the incident happened on March 1, at the Applebee's restaurant in Las Cruces.

Alan Golden, 22, ate dinner at the restaurant with two women and left without paying his entire bill –- leaving a $30 balance, police said.

Golden might have got away with the alleged act, had he not picked a restaurant that was holding a "Tip-A-Cop" fundraiser. During the event, the wait staff was replaced by local police officers who served patrons their dinners in an effort to raise money for the New Mexico Special Olympics.

Authorities arrested Golden and charged him with obtaining services less than $100. He was booked into the Dona Ana County Detention Center on a $250 surety bond.

While hunger and stupidity might make for a dangerous combination, the sheriff's office was pleased to announce that the annual fundraiser event raised more than $3,000.


----------



## pretentious (11 Feb 2013)

nuclearzombies said:
			
		

> Something I witnessed myself. I'm not so sure it's so much a stupid criminal, rather it was criminally stupid.
> 
> So I'm on the bus at 0600 to get to work, we turn a corner and feel a small bump.... the bus driver pulls over right away and starts freaking out... "HOW THE HELL DO YOU RUN INTO A BUS!!! IT'S A GIANT WHITE BOX?!?!?!"
> So we passengers pile off the bus, to see a small hatchback stuck to the back of the bus. The person driving the car got out  - with a curling iron in one hand,  cell phone in the other hand and still talking!! When the police showed up, she got mad at them and lied about the curling iron/cell phone thing. The police were suitably amused, and awarded her a free ride to jail and a comlimentary impound for her vehicle, which I found out later from the cops was a 5 speed. And she actually tried to fight it in court, saying all the passengers on the bus were lying and conspiring to screw her over.... I still chuckle out loud thinking about it....



I had a similar encounter, a woman cut off an accelerating bus to turn right. The woman got out of her car yelling at the bus driver for hitting her, and then proceeded to light a cigarette on the bus while still arguing. After her initial outrage she did a 180 degree emotional turn; she apologized and stated, "I thought the bus was stopped,"  ??? meanwhile we were accelerating from 25-30kmph.

While I was not paying attention I felt the breaks applied hastily and then the driver stopped the breaks and then we struck her vehicle ~1 second later. (Lunged forward, thrown backwards, then thrown forwards again) - I've seen this bus driver many times and he always seems grumpy. While the woman is at fault I cannot help but think he struck her on purpose. I washed my hands though and jumped on the next bus.


----------



## cupper (27 Mar 2013)

The mug shot is worth the click. :rofl:

*Man arrested for assaulting roommate who drew penis on his face*

http://www.insidenova.com/news/crime_police/man-arrested-for-assaulting-roommate-who-drew-penis-on-his/article_5d04d1fe-96e9-11e2-89b8-001a4bcf887a.html



> An Arlington man who woke up with a penis drawn on his face in permanent marker is accused of assaulting his roommate, leading to “extensive injuries” to the victim’s face, police said.
> 
> James Denham Watson woke up around 5:30 a.m. Saturday in the 3100 block of North 17th Street to find the male genitalia on his cheek, leading to the assault, police said.
> 
> ...


----------



## PMedMoe (23 Apr 2013)

Maybe not so dumb, but how Canadian!  

Sex shop robbery suspects arrested at Timmies

 ;D


----------



## cupper (23 Apr 2013)

Couldn't they have provided a better description of the stolen items?


----------



## PMedMoe (23 Apr 2013)

cupper said:
			
		

> Couldn't they have provided a better description of the stolen items?



You're really _that_ curious?


----------



## PMedMoe (24 Jul 2013)

Mountaineer player booted from team after robbing house while wearing WVU issue gear

Korey Harris, a sophomore defensive lineman, is no longer with the West Virginia football team following an arrest for first-degree armed robbery.

Harris was arrested last Friday for a July 12 home invasion, where Harris and two others entered a Morgantown home and held the residents at gun point while burglarizing the house. One tiny flaw in Harris' plan: He was wearing his WVU-issued sweatpants with a #96 - his uniform number, as you can see above - on them. The three men got away with cash and electronics.

More at link

Yep, just one teensy flaw....   :facepalm:


----------



## CougarKing (7 Aug 2013)

Sure, he didn't know he wouldn't be called out for doing something as despicable as this...
 :

link





> *New York man, 22, 'tries to sell girlfriend's baby online' because partner 'wasn't paying him enough attention'*
> 
> Paul Marquez has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child and harassment after allegedly offered his partner's child on Craigslist for $100 (£65)
> 
> (...)


----------



## garb811 (14 Aug 2013)

...and stop by Macs and pick up a bag of Doritos on the way please...

Pot plea on Twitter costs Mr. Lube worker his job



> ...
> The young man, posting under the user name Sunith Baheerathan, was apparently at work on Tuesday when he wrote, "Any dealers in Vaughan wanna make a 20sac chop? Come to Keele/Langstaff Mr. Lube, need a spliff or two to help me last this open to close."
> 
> The York Regional Police noticed the post — which has since been removed — and replied: "Awesome! Can we come too?"
> ...


If it is any consolation to the poor guy, I'm sure his former employer's reaction would have been exactly the same if he had asked for someone to drop him off a sixer of beer.


----------



## PMedMoe (18 Sep 2013)

Loose baggy pants foil Florida church robbery suspect's getaway

A robber who was running away with his hands full of loot from a Florida church was caught when his baggy pants started slipping off, a sheriff's spokeswoman said.

She said the man, Anthony Jason Garcia, 31, had been praying in the sanctuary of a large Catholic Church near Walt Disney World on Wednesday when he arose, went into the gift shop, grabbed the cash drawer and ran toward the courtyard with church maintenance director Joe Larkin in pursuit.

As they ran, Garcia's baggy pants began to fall down, said Orange County Sheriff's spokeswoman Jane Watrel.

"So here Garcia is, both hands holding the cash drawer and trying to pull up his pants. So he (Larkin) sees an opening," Watrel said. "He plunges for him and pulls his pants down further which trips up the guy." 

More at link

 :rofl:

That'll teach all you "pants on the ground" gangsta wannabes.   :nod:


----------



## PMedMoe (1 Oct 2013)

Rap lyrics crack cold case:  Local rapper charged in 2007 double homicide

Newport News Police say a local rapper's song helped link him to a cold case involving a double homicide in 2007.

On May 10, 2007, officers were dispatched to the 23rd Street and Orcutt Avenue area for reports of shots fired. While en route, the call was upgraded to a shooting after a victim was found lying on a front porch in the 2300 block of Orcutt Avenue.

That victim, identified as Brian Dean, suffered a gunshot wound to the head. Dean was unconscious but breathing and was taken to a local hospital. He was later taken off life support.

A second victim, identified as Christopher Horton, was found suffering from a gunshot wound to the torso behind the home. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

The case eventually went cold.

"The pain never goes away," said Horton's sister Tai Horton. "It's hard. You try not to think about it and let time heal it."

Four years later, the case was assigned to another detective with the Newport News Police Department. According to court documents obtained by WAVY.com , three men were identified as possible suspects.

The detective said witnesses told police Horton and one of the suspects, Antwain Steward, fought prior to the homicides. Two other witnesses came forward and told the detective a rap song had been produced by Steward, also known as "Twain Gotti," referencing the slayings.

That track titled "Ride Out" was found on the internet and contains words investigators believe are about the killings, the detective said.

The song was posted to MySpace in March of 2009.

According to court documents , Steward used various electronic devices to produce several rap songs, which have been posted around the internet and social media. Detectives say Steward raps about and does interviews were he references and brags about crimes and feuds with gangs.

"Who puts something in a song that they did like that," Horton asked? "It's crazy. That's what I think. Why would he do that?"

More at link

IMO, I think all rappers should be in jail for the crime of creating making shitty music.


----------



## 211RadOp (9 Dec 2013)

From the Ottawa Sun

Drunk man calls 911 for pop, snacks: Cops

A Saskatchewan man barricaded himself in his home with a gun when his calls to 911 demanding booze, smokes and snacks were ignored, police say.

At around 3 a.m. Thursday, a North Battleford man called 911 saying he wanted cops to bring him "a pop and some smokes," RCMP said in a statement.

When that didn't work, he allegedly called again, this time demanding police bring him "another mickey of vodka."

When his request was denied a second time, the man told the 911 operator he had a gun and would hurt himself or others, police said.

When officers arrived, he refused orders to exit his home, but "then fell asleep when members did not bring him the snacks he wanted," police said.

Cops entered the home, arrested the man and seized a .22-calibre rifle and ammunition.

The man, 41, is charged with careless use of a firearm, unsafe storage of a firearm, unauthorized possession of a firearm and possession of a weapon for a dangerous purpose.

He's not due to appear in court until Friday morning "due to a high level of intoxication at the time of arrest," police said.

http://www.ottawasun.com/2013/12/05/drunk-man-calls-911-for-pop-snacks-cops


----------



## PMedMoe (13 Dec 2013)

Florida man faces 142 felony counts after cop sees his Instagram page

The Daily Buzz is quickly becoming a "what not to do" guide to selfie etiquette.

1. Don't take a self-portrait in front of a tragedy. You will make the front page of the paper.

2. Don't pose for a smartphone with your fellow world leaders at a memorial service. You'll end up doing damage control.

3. And don't take selfies that include stolen firearms. You will go to jail.

A south Florida man is learning that third lesson the hard way. Depree Johnson, 19, has been charged with 142 felony counts after his Instagram page got the attention of a local sheriff.

Johnson, who already had a rap sheet that included grand theft, burglary, and felony possession of a firearm, posted incriminating photos of himself flaunting cash, jewelry, drugs and weapons on the site.

The teen earned himself a search warrant.

More at link

 :not-again:


----------



## 211RadOp (20 Dec 2013)

Wasn't sure if this should go here or funniest things, but as he has been charged and sentanced:

http://www.ottawasun.com/2013/12/19/man-caught-masturbating-while-texting-and-driving

*Man caught masturbating while texting and driving*

A British man caught masturbating while driving his car naked during a steamy text-messaging session has been fined and ordered to do community service.

Another driver spotted Neal Marshall, 49, touching himself on Aug. 8 and called police with Marshall's licence plate, the Chester Chronicle reported. When police contacted Marshall, he told police he had "no comment."

His lawyer Adrian Evans said the case is "bizarre" but Marshall simply got "carried away" while messaging another person. Evans said Marshall never intended for anyone to see what he was doing.

"This does not excuse his actions, but it goes a way to explain why he was seen doing it," Evans said.

Marshall, who lives in Cheshire, pleaded guilty Wednesday to a charge of outraging public decency. He was also ordered to do community service in 2008 for the same charge


----------



## PMedMoe (20 Dec 2013)

211RadOp said:
			
		

> *Man caught masturbating while texting and driving*



So much for the myth that men can't multitask....   ;D



			
				211RadOp said:
			
		

> Marshall, who lives in Cheshire, pleaded guilty Wednesday to a charge of outraging public decency. He was also ordered to do community service in 2008 for the same charge



Wait....this is his _second_ offense for doing this?   ???


----------



## Yrys (20 Dec 2013)

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> Man caught masturbating while texting and driving



1 arm for driving,
1 arm for texting,
1 arm for masturbating...

That's  the first 3 arms man that I ever heard about...

IF anyone could post a picture, I would GREATLY appreciate it  !

Thank you


----------



## Journeyman (20 Dec 2013)

Yrys said:
			
		

> IF anyone could post a picture, I would GREATLY appreciate it  !


Please just PM her; no pics required!!   :-\


----------



## Yrys (20 Dec 2013)

Journeyman said:
			
		

> Please just PM her; no pics required!!   :-\



I'M DEEPLY SORRY to have to make a very small correction here,
Journeyman, BUT pictures in the PM WOULD be greatly appreciated    !!!


----------



## Journeyman (20 Dec 2013)

Yrys said:
			
		

> I'M DEEPLY SORRY to have to make a very small correction here,
> Journeyman, BUT pictures in the PM WOULD be greatly appreciated  !!!


No correction; we are in agreement.  I wish you luck in acquiring pictures of 3-armed, male masturbators....via PM.....and there's NO need to post them to the site.   :nod:


----------



## Yrys (20 Dec 2013)

Journeyman said:
			
		

> and there's NO need to post them to the site.   :nod:



PFFTTT!!!

DEAR Mike will be in disagreement over that one,
I'm sure HE will see the marketing appeals of
such pics for the website !!!

$$$ rolling in SO  FAST  :nod:

 ;D


----------



## Brandonfw (25 Dec 2013)

This man, use to live in my apartment before I moved in it. I still get his mail.........


Police in Dartmouth, N.S. have re-captured a man who escaped by slipping undetected out the back door of a sheriff's van Wednesday morning.
Nova Scotia Justice Department spokesperson Dan Harrison said 48-year-old Thomas Arnold Jones was apprehended in the early afternoon after police implemented a dragnet around the area where he was believed to be hiding.
Harrison said it's still unclear how Jones managed to slip out of the van, which was carrying sheriffs and other inmates who were also bound for court.
PHOTOS
 Thomas Arnold Jones, 48, is seen in this undated image.
Thomas Arnold Jones, 48, is seen in this undated image.
 Police were reportedly searching through backyards and hopping over fences in their attempts to find the escapee, thomas arnold jones, dartmouth escapee
Police were reportedly searching through backyards and hopping over fences in their attempts to find the escapee, thomas arnold jones, dartmouth escapee
 prisoner, escape
prisoner, escape
Jones was to be sentenced for break and enter during his scheduled court appearance on Wednesday, and faces additional charges of assault, unlawful confinement and arson, Harrison said.
Jones escaped from the van around 9:30 a.m. local time.
A CTV News viewer was travelling behind the sheriff's van and photographed the man as he fled from the back of the vehicle and made his escape while wearing leg shackles.
The photo submitted to CTV appears to show the man slipping out the back door of the vehicle, ducking down to avoid detection while the van was stopped on a highway.
CTV Atlantic's Kayla Hounsell, reporting from Dartmouth earlier Wednesday, said police were searching through backyards and hopping over fences in their attempts to find the escapee in an area around the courthouse and nearby hospital.
Hounsell told CTV Atlantic she spoke with a woman who had a terrifying encounter with the escapee.
"She was on her way to the Dollarama and before she could get out of her car this prisoner came up to her car and tried to get in," Hounsell said.
"She of course was very frightened, didn't know what was happening at the time but was able to lock the doors of her car. He stopped and said 'oh' and then took off."


SOURCE:
http://www.ctvnews.ca/police-capture-n-s-man-who-escaped-from-sheriff-s-van-1.768637


----------



## CougarKing (8 Jan 2014)

:

National Post



> *Oregon couple allegedly tries to tip for steak dinner with envelope full of meth, predictably gets arrested*
> 
> SEASIDE, Ore. — A waitress at a U.S. restaurant says she received an unusual tip — an envelope full of methamphetamine.
> 
> ...


----------



## cupper (28 Apr 2014)

*From the police blotter: Driver allegedly causes mayhem (but does stop at traffic light)*

http://www.insidenova.com/news/arlington/from-the-police-blotter-driver-allegedly-causes-mayhem-but-does/article_3a0e281c-ce0b-11e3-8f5c-0019bb2963f4.html



> On April 19 at 1:59 a.m., police officers observed an SUV stop in the 1100 block of North Highland Street in Arlington and witnessed a water bottle being thrown at patrons of a bar.
> 
> The vehicle took off at a high rate of speed, struck a median and drove recklessly before stopping at a traffic light, police said.
> Officers attempted to get the driver out of the vehicle when he allegedly accelerated forward, knocking an officer to the ground. The officer sustained minor injuries.
> ...


----------



## dapaterson (29 Apr 2014)

Ottawa police have arrested a man for indecently exposing himself in a city park.  His name?  Mr Popadick.


http://ottawapolice.ca/en/mediaroom/newsreleases/14-04-29/8f13e582-b9aa-4d70-b7b9-d9d054d5e659.aspx


----------



## PMedMoe (7 May 2014)

Reckless teen posts “Me Driving Like an Idiot” video and gets himself caught by police

Tip: If you're going to drive like a complete idiot and film it on your dash cam, make sure you accidentally turn yourself in afterward.

That's pretty much what reckless teenager Robert Kelley, 18, did after he decided to joy ride around New Smyra Beach, Florida, crashing into four vehicles and injuring 5 people.

Since he was apparently foolish enough to upload his little dash cam video to YouTube, police have caught him.

Kelley faces charges of reckless driving and driving without a license. Police are even considering laying down a third charge of intentional battery with a vehicle.

More at link

He should have titled his video "Me Posting Incriminating Evidence Like an Idiot".....   :


----------



## J.J (10 May 2014)

This from Windsor Police last night;

_Sitting downtown monitoring the drunks---》 Kid comes to my window and asks "Is this where I buy the bacon? ----》 Public intoxication arrest---》 Find pepper spray = Weapons charge ---》 Find 206 grams of khat in his backpack.

So thank you Mr. Darwin and your ongoing assistance to law enforcement everywhere._

If it weren't for dumb people Law Enforcement wouldn't have a job.


----------



## 211RadOp (20 May 2014)

Just think of the splinters!

http://www.ottawasun.com/2014/05/19/drunk-attempts-to-have-sex-with-cash-machine-picnic-table

*Drunk attempts to have sex with cash machine, picnic table*
QMI Agency

First posted: Monday, May 19, 2014 03:59 PM EDT | Updated: Monday, May 19, 2014 04:16 PM EDT

A frisky drunk who tried to get personal with a cash machine and a picnic table cooled off behind bars Friday night.

Police in Murfreesboro, Tenn., say Lonnie Hutton, 49, strutted into the Boro Bar and Grill, cozied up to the ATM, pulled down his pants and underwear and then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the machine.

According to wate.com, responding officers found Hutton, still nude from the waist down, walking around the bar, thrusting his hips in the air.

They took Hutton outside and told him to sit at a wooden picnic table.

The police report said he “exposed himself again and engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table.”

Hutton was charged with public intoxication and booked into the Rutherford County jail on $250 bond.

He is scheduled to appear in court July 1.


----------



## cupper (20 May 2014)

211RadOp said:
			
		

> Just think of the splinters!
> 
> http://www.ottawasun.com/2014/05/19/drunk-attempts-to-have-sex-with-cash-machine-picnic-table
> 
> ...



Now we are going to see Sperm Bank ATMs. 

(I'll pass on the obvious comments about quick deposits and penalties for early withdrawl)


----------



## brihard (20 May 2014)

The thing a lot of people fail to realize about policing is that typically the people you catch in the midst of sex acts tend not to be the people one would want to catch in the midst of sex acts.


----------



## PMedMoe (20 Jun 2014)

*World Cup ticket purchase leads to arrest of Mexican drug lord*

Brazliian authorities arrested a long-sought suspected Mexican drug lord as he attempted to board a domestic flight from Rio de Janiero to Fortaleza, Brazil, where Mexico faced Brazil on Tuesday. 

Jose Diaz-Barajas, 49, bought a ticket to the match under his real name. He was arrested at Tom Jobim airport and will remain in custody in Rio until he is extradited to the U.S. The U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) assisted in the arrest, as Diaz-Barajas is suspected of exporting methamphetamine to the U.S.

More at link

 :facepalm:


----------



## PMedMoe (25 Jun 2014)

Pro Tip for You Amateur Burglars: Log Out of Facebook Before Exiting the Smash and Grab

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xywZw5rhl9s

 :rofl:


----------



## PMedMoe (22 Jul 2014)

Woman Caught When She Posts Stolen Dress Selfie on Instagram

A 27-year-old Illinois woman who was accused of stealing several items from a clothing store was busted after she posted pictures of herself in a shoplifted dress on Facebook.

Danielle Sexton reportedly swiped a multicolored leopard print dress with a black waistband from Morties, a store in her native West Frankfort. After the owner's son, Kert Williams, posted a note about the theft and a description of the woman on his Facebook page, people quickly began pointing him toward Sexton's selfie, which she had just set as her new profile pic. Williams passed the information along to the police, who arrested her.

More at link

Hope she doesn't breed.....   :


----------



## 211RadOp (14 Aug 2014)

Bladder bursting fish tank thief caught in sting

A British thief's getaway was foiled Saturday when he urinated on a wasps' nest and the anger insects stuck it to him.

Jamie Brown, 29, was on run after breaking into a Leeds, Yorkshire, store and making off with a fish tank, the Halifax Courier reported.

While hiding in some bushes Brown felt the need to relieve himself and made a direct hit on a wasps' nest, unleashing a stinging attack.

The Courier reported that a sweating and crying Brown was seen by police.

He told cops he was running home after being stung several times following a visit with his aunt. Police found a pair of gloves and the fish tank nearby.

Brown spent six hours in hospital before being released and sent to court, where he pleaded guilty to theft and jailed for 24 weeks

http://www.ottawasun.com/2014/08/13/bladder-bursting-fish-tank-thief-caught-in-sting


----------



## cupper (5 Dec 2014)

*Police: Prostitute, client join forces for burglary spree, then battle over loot*

http://www.insidenova.com/news/arlington/police-prostitute-client-join-forces-for-burglary-spree-then-battle/article_5cdd8df6-7c9d-11e4-93e1-a3980241b67e.html



> On Dec. 1 at 7:45 p.m., a witness in the 1100 block of South Hayes Street told police there had been a physical altercation between a man and woman.
> 
> When police located the suspects, it was determined that the woman was a prostitute who met the man at another location and, after what was described as a “brief sexual encounter,” both traveled to the Hayes Street area and stole items from several area businesses.
> When the male suspect demanded one of the items from the woman, a verbal argument ensued, which then escalated into a physical confrontation.
> ...


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## CougarKing (31 Dec 2014)

Moral of the story: don't use an IED to open an ATM to rob it.

CTV News



> *Darwin Award? Watch as attempted ATM robbery blows up in man's face*
> 
> It’s a robbery attempt that’ll knock your socks off – if you’re wearing any.
> 
> ...


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## George Wallace (4 Jan 2015)

Always a laugh:

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=723841051012233


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## CougarKing (9 Jan 2015)

:facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:

Global News



> *Man accidentally dials RCMP officer, offering to sell weed*
> 
> VANCOUVER – A North Vancouver RCMP Strike Force officer was surprised to receive a call from an unknown man on Tuesday, offering to sell him some marijuana.
> 
> (...SNIPPED)


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## 211RadOp (12 Mar 2015)

*Freed from prison, man robs same NJ store 14 years later*

A man faces a return to prison for robbing the same New Jersey shoe store - and the same clerk - that he held up 14 years earlier, authorities said.

Christopher Miller, 41, pleaded guilty to robbing the shoe store in Toms River in March 2014, one day after his release from prison where he had been sent for robbing the same store in 1999, Ocean County, New Jersey prosecutors said.

In the more recent robbery, a clerk who had worked at the store during the first robbery recognized Miller as the same culprit, prosecutors said.

The clerk had been notified of Miller's release on parole, said Al Della Fave, spokesman for the Ocean County Prosecutor's Office.

"She looks up and there he is," Della Fave said.

Police said the bandit demanded money and cell phones from employees, forced them into a back room and fled with $389 cash.

Miller pleaded guilty on Monday to second-degree robbery in Ocean County Superior Court and faces the possibility of 10 to 20 years in prison when he is sentenced on May 15, prosecutors said


http://www.thewhig.com/2015/03/11/freed-from-prison-man-robs-same-nj-store-14-years-later


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## GUS021 (21 Mar 2015)

This could have been criminal. In the end, it was just a dumb idea.




> *Frenchman packs Russian wife in suitcase to enter EU*
> Poland's border guards detained the man but there was no need for his antics because his wife would have had no trouble entering the passport-free Schengen travel zone
> 
> A Frenchman tried to smuggle his Russian wife into the EU by hiding her in a massive suitcase, without realising there had been no need for the would-be James Bond scheme.
> ...



http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/poland/11476121/Frenchman-packs-Russian-wife-in-suitcase-to-enter-EU.html


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## Fishbone Jones (21 Mar 2015)

He's from Essex not Windsor.  

http://www.nationalpost.com/m/wp/blog.html?b=news.nationalpost.com/2015/03/19/man-phones-911-and-reports-himself-for-drunk-driving-ive-never-heard-of-anybody-doing-this-before-police-say



> A Windsor-area man pulled his car to the side of the road, put on his four-way flashers and called police Tuesday to report he was too drunk to drive — a situation police say is one of the most unusual impaired driving charges they’ve laid.
> 
> Kevin O’Neil with the Ontario Provincial Police.
> 
> ...


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## GUS021 (21 Mar 2015)

> Donald Dummer, 55, of Essex, was arrested and charged with impaired driving.



At the same time, he should be reward to have denounce a drunk driver. ;D

It's amazing to see people, despite the fact that they do rellay stupid things (drinking while driving), that can still have a bit of a conscience. Well... may be it was right after he threw up. :


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## 211RadOp (8 May 2015)

*Virginia man robs bank, posts heist videos online *  

REUTERS
First posted: Thursday, May 07, 2015 03:01 PM EDT | Updated: Thursday, May 07, 2015 03:29 PM EDT


A suspected Virginia bank robber posted online videos of the heist and a photo of his note asking for $150,000 just before his arrest, local media reported on Thursday.

The suspect, Dominyk Antonio Alfonseca, 23, of Norfolk, walked into TowneBank in Virginia Beach around 1:40 p.m. EDT on Monday and handed the teller a note asking for the money, police said in a statement.

Alfonseca left the bank and immediately posted on Instagram two videos of the teller loading bills into a bag, and one photo of his robbery note, according to the Virginian-Pilot newspaper.

Alfonseca was arrested 22 minutes later. Police would not discuss details and said the investigation was ongoing.

He was charged with one felony count of robbery, according to court records.

Alfonseca told the newspaper he was innocent because he did not demand or steal the money, but asked for it politely and said "please."

His next court appearance is June 12.


http://www.ottawasun.com/2015/05/07/virginia-man-robs-bank-posts-heist-videos-online


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## cupper (8 May 2015)

211RadOp said:
			
		

> *Virginia man robs bank, posts heist videos online *



It's the quality of criminal I've come to expect in my adopted state. Makes me proud to be a resident. :nod:


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## Kirkhill (17 May 2015)

A good day in Waco - 

Three biker gangs in a shootout.

9 Bikers dead.
18 Bikers wounded.
100 weapons recovered.

Bikers held at gunpoint by local constabulary.

No LEO casualties.
No Bystander casualties.


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## brihard (17 May 2015)

Kirkhill said:
			
		

> A good day in Waco -
> 
> Three biker gangs in a shootout.
> 
> ...



Society wins.


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## cupper (18 Jul 2015)

Just how bad are you when you are disavowed by every other Klan organization.  :facepalm:

*Ku Klux Klown: The Racist Behind Today’s Pro-Confederate Flag Demonstration Is Hated Even by Other Klansmen*

http://www.vice.com/read/ku-klux-klown-the-racist-behind-todays-proconfederate-flag-demonstration-is-hated-even-by-other-klansmen



> Today, July 18, a rally is being held at the South Carolina statehouse in Charleston to protest the removal of the Confederate flag. The action has been organized by a North Carolina group called the Loyal White Knights of the Ku Klax Klan, which bills itself as the "largest Klan in America." Understandably, this chapter of the KKK has been receiving a lot of attention; a pair of its members, Robert Jones and James Spears, have been widely quoted in the media praising the flag and Dylann Roof, the 21-year-old charged with the shooting deaths of nine people in an African-American church.
> 
> Except Smith and Jones aren't real people—both are aliases for Christopher Barker of North Carolina, an unemployed man in his 30s with an extensive rap sheet who is despised even by other white supremacists.
> 
> ...


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## 211RadOp (7 Aug 2015)

Fake officer tries to pull over off-duty cop, gets arrested

NORTH KINGSVILLE, Ohio -- A man pretending to be a police officer was caught and charged because the driver targeted by his bogus traffic stop was a real officer.

Police in North Kingsville, Ohio say an off-duty officer was stopped Sunday night by the alleged impersonator, who was driving a black sport utility vehicle with red and blue emergency-style lights. Village police Chief Hugh Flanigan tells a local newspaper that the unarmed man in civilian clothes repeatedly tried to convince the officer that he was a real lawman, but eventually drove away.

Flanigan says the officer contacted village police, who found the suspect within minutes. A prosecutor says the 42-year-old man faces a misdemeanour charge of impersonating an officer.

http://www.ottawasun.com/2015/08/04/fake-officer-tries-to-pull-over-off-duty-cop-gets-arrested


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## 211RadOp (30 Sep 2015)

Man stumbles during robbery attempt, setting off gun, killing partner

PHOENIX -- A man planned to rob a Phoenix home but stumbled walking up to it -- setting off his revolver and fatally shooting his co-conspirator, police say.

Authorities say that after his arrest, Jose Perez-Torres admitted to the Sept. 25 fatal shooting of 19-year-old Eric Hernandez-Tellez. Phoenix police say the 21-year-old Perez-Torres initially fled the scene, but they caught up with him later in Tempe.

He was booked into jail on suspicion of first-degree murder, conspiracy to commit armed robbery and other charges stemming from warrants.

http://www.ottawasun.com/2015/09/29/man-stumbles-during-robbery-attempt-setting-off-gun-killing-partner


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## CougarKing (11 Jan 2016)

Impressive...NOT!

Shanghaiist



> *Three idiots pose with a fake gun on board plane at Beijing airport, pics go viral*
> 
> A trio of brilliant chaps in China decided it would be funny to pose for a photo with what appeared to be a gun while seated on a freaking airplane. The photos have subsequently made their way onto Chinese social media, first hitting WeChat on Sunday before going viral.
> 
> ...


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## 211RadOp (13 Oct 2017)

Shoplifter Caught after Walking Near Robbery Scene

Release Date: October 12, 2017
17-34006
 
A 33-year-old local man was arrested for shoplifting after being stopped by officers searching for a robbery suspect.  
 
On October 11, 2017 at approximately 3:10 p.m. the accused was walking on Wellington Street. A patrol officer responding to a robbery at the CIBC on Bagot Street observed the accused walking at a fast pace. The accused matched the description of the robbery suspect and was quickly stopped by officers.
 
The accused was detained for investigation at which point officers observed a price tag and a security tag on the jacket he was wearing. A search revealed the accused had four jackets with price tags.
 
It was determined the accused was not the robbery suspect however he was linked to a theft that had occurred 2:45 p.m. at a store nearby on Princess Street.
 
The accused was transported to police headquarters where he was held to attend a bail hearing the following day.

https://www.kingstonpolice.ca/news-events/news-releases/shoplifter-caught-after-walking-near-robbery-scene/?utm_content=bufferd8ace&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer
 
The accused was charged with theft and breach probation


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## youngger@12 (4 Nov 2017)

A criminal is set on fire while trying to light a cigarette. He sees a ladder going up to a gym's washroom. He tries to climb the ladder to get to the showers and put out the fire. A policeman doesnt understand or doesnt see what the criminal is trying to do and kicks him so he falls to the ground and rolls him. the criminal get up and tries to climb the ladder again. the policeman kicks him again and rolls him again. This goes on for some time. Finally the criminal knocks his head and falls unconscious. The policeman rolls him again, snuffing out the fire. When the criminal finally wakes up the policeman says we finally got you and put you out. The criminal just stares at him and says, thanks a lot. The moral of the story, dont light a smoke, light a candle. 

How do you know your in prison? They show you the door.


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## youngger@12 (8 Nov 2017)

On the subject of dumb criminals, when logic and the english language meet the law. Cruel and Usual Punishment. The first one always has a good case for appeal, damn the rest.


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## Fishbone Jones (9 Nov 2017)

This is a humour thread about published articles about stupid mistakes criminals make. It's not a soap box for your off subject rants and/ or commentaries. Start acting accordingly please.


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## brihard (25 Nov 2017)

Bahahahahahaha! Some dude visiting Hamilton from the US yelled a classy 'FHRITP' to a reporter as she was doing an interview... With a uniformed Hamilton police officer. At a police station. The officer strolls over to the vehicle, has the young lad step out, arrests him for causing a disturbance and since he's from out of country holds him in cells overnight to attend bail court in the morning. And of course it's all on high quality video. 

https://www.themaven.net/bluelivesmatter/news/man-yells-fhritp-at-reporter-cop-she-was-interviewing-takes-him-in-xhNZzVoRVkqFQAC-m-mhsg


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## mariomike (25 Nov 2017)

Worcester, MA police pull over a judge's daughter for DUI. She offers sexual favors for leniency. They, to their credit, refuse and write a report. But then...
https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2017/11/24/state-ethics-commission-investigating-altered-report-arrest-judge-daughter/NenPxrmhjQ2cdzB4dPpEGM/story.html?event=event25


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## 211RadOp (21 Jun 2018)

If you are going to steal credit cards, don't try to use it at the restaurant where the owner of said cards is your waitress.

https://www.thestar.com/news/world/2018/06/20/thief-tried-paying-waitress-with-her-own-stolen-card-say-police.html


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## BeyondTheNow (21 Dec 2019)

Karma’s a...! ;D

Suspect accidentally shoots himself while fleeing scene with stolen puppy: police



> TORONTO -- A man who allegedly stole a puppy at gunpoint in Brampton was taken into custody on Friday after he accidentally shot himself in the leg while running away from the scene of the crime...



https://toronto.ctvnews.ca/mobile/suspect-accidentally-shoots-himself-while-fleeing-scene-with-stolen-puppy-police-1.4740010


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## Cloud Cover (21 Dec 2019)

Chris Pook said:
			
		

> A good day in Waco -
> 
> Three biker gangs in a shootout.
> 
> ...



Here’s a follow up WTF?:
https://www.npr.org/2019/04/03/709432311/texas-prosecutor-drops-all-charges-in-2015-biker-shootout-that-killed-9


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## Cloud Cover (13 Jan 2020)

WTF????

https://globalnews.ca/news/6377799/bc-rcmp-want-to-talk-to-driver-about-questionable-snowmobile-transportation/


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## brihard (13 Jan 2020)

CloudCover said:
			
		

> WTF????
> 
> https://globalnews.ca/news/6377799/bc-rcmp-want-to-talk-to-driver-about-questionable-snowmobile-transportation/



The first place I worked there was a dude who would drive around in an old camper van with a fully functioning (and often actively in use) wood stove inside. Being a city boy, that really threw me for a loop.


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## Cloud Cover (14 Jan 2020)

Was his licence plate RED GREEN?


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## BeyondTheNow (23 Jan 2020)

<sigh> That's about it...

Ontario teen calls police because his fake ID didn't arrive



> TORONTO --An Ontario teenager may have lost a lot more than money in an unsuccessful attempt to acquire fake identification.
> 
> Provincial police say the Norfolk County resident contacted them Tuesday to say that they had sent money to a stranger after seeing an ad for fake identification on social media, but never received the promised ID...



More at link:

https://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/ontario-teen-calls-police-because-his-fake-id-didn-t-arrive-1.4780110


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## Cloud Cover (8 Feb 2020)

I was waiting for the cop to pull his iron: https://twitter.com/LawyerinToronto/status/1226156709082693632?s=20


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## FJAG (8 Feb 2020)

CloudCover said:
			
		

> I was waiting for the cop to pull his iron: https://twitter.com/LawyerinToronto/status/1226156709082693632?s=20



Kudo's to the cop with the fire extinguisher who didn't clock this moron upside the head with it.

 :clubinhand:


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