# Gut Wrenches



## Matt_Fisher (28 Dec 2004)

Britney Spears said:
			
		

> KFS - Most Useless Piece of Kit Ever.



Even more useless than the yellow or pink melmac cup?

One of the best investments I ever made for field messing was purchasing a set of lexan cutlery and a deep dish plate from MEC.
http://www.mec.ca/Products/product_detail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=672695&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=13343&bmUID=1104212191017
http://www.mec.ca/Products/product_detail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=672733&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=784215&bmUID=1104212306922

While most occasions I'd be able to get away with just the spoon, with the exception of when the good ol' haybox would contain what was touted as "steak", but was more akin to boiled combat boot cutlet.  Then you'd need a chainsaw to slice your dinner.   ;D

Sorry for hijacking this thread on the tac-vest.  Perhaps the mods may want to move this to a new "field messing" thread?


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## Fishbone Jones (28 Dec 2004)

Matt,

How's that stuff stand up to hard use? Is it the typical, almost unbreakable Lexan?

Gonna split this off.


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## Matt_Fisher (28 Dec 2004)

Recceguy,

I've had more melmac plates break on me, whilst my Lexan plate has remained intact.  I imagine that if an MLVW ran over it, it'd probably be broken, but other than that the stuff is pretty durable.

I like the fact that the plate is a "deep dish" plate which is great for stews other sloppy foods that tend to pour off of the regular melmac plate.


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## Danjanou (28 Dec 2004)

Looks good. 

I "replaced" my broken melmac cup with a plastic travel mug like you get at timmies. I actually knew a guy on course you used a plastic dog food bowl instead of a plate. He got funny looks but never spilled his stew in his lap.


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## Matt_Fisher (28 Dec 2004)

Plastic travel mugs are another great piece of "Field Messing Kit".

I know that for awhile there was an OD travel mug that was quite popular in the CFs that you could have done up with your regimental emblem on it.

Are these still around?


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## Michael Dorosh (28 Dec 2004)

Matt_Fisher said:
			
		

> I know that for awhile there was an OD travel mug that was quite popular in the CFs that you could have done up with your regimental emblem on it.
> 
> Are these still around?



Yes.


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## Fishbone Jones (28 Dec 2004)

Thx Matt,

Been looking for something to replace the deep dish pie tin that I've been using for the last ten years. It'd get bent and out of shape, but never broke or spilled on me. ;D


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## Danjanou (28 Dec 2004)

Michael, any idea where you can get those green plastic mugs with insignia on them? Sounds like a good gift idea.


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## Michael Dorosh (28 Dec 2004)

Danjanou said:
			
		

> Michael, any idea where you can get those green plastic mugs with insignia on them? Sounds like a good gift idea.



Mmm...our kit shop gets them done up, I will ask in the new year. The last batch were not in OD, though, but some kind of bright green - ick.  We like the OD ones cause they slip on the webbing and blend in.


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## Bomber (29 Dec 2004)

Little metal dog bowls from the pet store are a good bet for Melmac replacement, they have a non slip rubber rim around the base so it won't off a log or hood, and when you flip them upside down and fill it with water, there is a mirrored stainless steel finish that is out of the water to use as a mirror for shaving.  This is the fancy dog bowl, that has the normal bowl shape and then and extra set of sides coming down it, looks like a little metal volcano.


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## Gayson (30 Dec 2004)

I like the KFS, I always keep it on me incase the the IMP spoon breaks.

I hate the melmac plate, I find its a waste of space and spills easily.  Instead I use my canteen cup as a means to eat.  I have replaced my melmac cup with a bigger better coffee travel mug.


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## Matt_Fisher (30 Dec 2004)

J. Gayson said:
			
		

> I like the KFS, I always keep it on me incase the the IMP spoon breaks.
> 
> Instead I use my canteen cup as a means to eat.




Your post reminds me of a couple things.  

Way back when I was a young lad in Army Cadets at summer camp in Vernon we were out on a field ex.  We were not authorized to have pocket knives, so the KFS that I was issued was used a a utility tool for cutting cord for stringing up hooches and doing other ill-suited tasks.   ;D

As for the canteen cup, if you're one of those "It doesn't matter if my beef stew gets mixed with my chocolate pudding...it all ends up in the same gut" then all the power to you bro.  You'd probably love Marine Boot Camp when the DIs make you take the contents of your MRE, empty them into the brown plastic bag it comes in, shake it around, step on it, smash it with your fist and then consume the contents in about 2 minutes and if you're not done, well...you go hungry.  Nothing like chicken with salsa, a tootsie roll, a big gob of instant coffee and some cherry drink mix in one mouthful with the delightful aftertaste of Tobasco Sauce. mmmmmm mmmmmm


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## Britney Spears (30 Dec 2004)

> You'd probably love Marine Boot Camp when the DIs make you take the contents of your MRE, empty them into the brown plastic bag it comes in, shake it around, step on it, smash it with your fist and then consume the contents in about 2 minutes and if you're not done, well...you go hungry.



Hah, I would soooo ace that test. 

Call me a strange one, but I've never come across an IMP or MRE that I didn't like.  Perhaps the worst I've come across is a frozen ham steak in pineapple sauce, but even then, it was hardly unpalatable (and hey, you dont need a spoon to eat it! Crunchy! just watch out for the sharp edges...). Of course, I suspect that it takes more energy to digest a frozen hunk of mealworm ansd sawdust that one could possibly gain from it, so I probably would have been better off just thinking about something else instead. 

But no way in hell am I going to eat anything out of a canteen cup.


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## Matt_Fisher (30 Dec 2004)

Britney,

How about a blast from the past...Alpo in a Bag aka Corned Beef Hash?


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## Britney Spears (30 Dec 2004)

Sorry Matt, I'm not THAT old.

I'll have to bow out when the discussion turns to Alpo in a Bag,  58 pattern webbing, the C5 GPMG, or other such mythical items of the remote past.

Hay boxes nowadays are a lot better. I've witnessed whole companies, complete with leadership, rendered ineffective for hours after a few hayboxes of good BBQ ribs for lunch. Such is the state of our food that many younger soldiers have difficulty stomaching the not quite as good, but perfectly acceptable food at American and British bases.


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## qjdb (30 Dec 2004)

Heck, I liked the Corn Beef Hash.

Granted, I haven't lived on IMPs for weeks like some of you guys, but I am the same as Brit.   I haven't run across an IMP that I didn't find, at the least, palatable.   Some of them are not my favourite kind of thing, but generally, they are OK.

Unfortunatly, the only fruit that I like is apples, so I have to usually do some trading to get the compote, applesauce or chunks.

Have any of you tried the 'kosher / vegitarian' meals that are being supplied now?   The ones with the separate 'extras' package?   What is your opinion of them?

Oh and before anyone gets all worked up about Army Cadets being issued IMPs, we only get enough each year for each kid to have something like 5 or 7 meals, something like that, and the Air Cadets and Sea Cadets get even less.   And, usually, there is not a whole lot of waste with the kids, they love them!

Sorry, went a bit off topic there.

Quentin


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## Matt_Fisher (30 Dec 2004)

Damn Britney,

You make me feel like such a grizzled old geriatric with that comment.

I have eaten Alpo in a bag on several ex's, When I did my QL3 I trained on the C5, and even though this is a loose disconnect, I was issued a '58 pattern web belt with 64 pattern canteen pouch (and cup) back in 1989 when I was in cadets.    ;D


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## Big Foot (30 Dec 2004)

qjdb, how about cold ham steak and mustard sauce? or cold salmon? even mentioning those brings back memories of farnham. as for the veg IMPs, someone in my platoon this summer had them. said they were pretty good. by the way, does anyone find it disturbing that the french term for IMPs is RIP? just a thought.


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## Danjanou (30 Dec 2004)

Britney Spears said:
			
		

> I'll have to bow out when the discussion turns to Alpo in a Bag,   58 pattern webbing, the C5 GPMG, or other such mythical items of the remote past.



God do I feel old now. 

I even remember the IRP Puritan corn beef hash. I actually liked it too.


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## aesop081 (30 Dec 2004)

Big Foot said:
			
		

> qjdb, how about cold ham steak and mustard sauce? or cold salmon? even mentioning those brings back memories of farnham. as for the veg IMPs, someone in my platoon this summer had them. said they were pretty good. by the way, does anyone find it disturbing that the french term for IMPs is RIP? just a thought.



I thought it was RIC - Ration Individulelle de Combat ???


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## chrisf (30 Dec 2004)

Britney Spears said:
			
		

> Hay boxes nowadays are a lot better. I've witnessed whole companies, complete with leadership, rendered ineffective for hours after a few hayboxes of good BBQ ribs for lunch. Such is the state of our food that many younger soldiers have difficulty stomaching the not quite as good, but perfectly acceptable food at American and British bases.



I'd like to take a quick moment here to compliment our cooks... nearly every *military* cook (I've got a slightly different oppinion of the civillian cooks/staff that I've run into, but that's another story) I've ever had the pleasure of meeting or working with in the forces (Not many, but I enough that I've got to add the compliment) took genuine pride in their work, and cared about the food they were serving to the troops. 

Not to say that other support trades don't have pride in their work, but I've never had supply tech look at me a couple of days after issuing kit and ask "So how are your pants? Comfy?" or an RMS clerk look at me and say "You getting paid enough? Can I tack on a little extra for you?".


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## chrisf (30 Dec 2004)

qjdb said:
			
		

> Have any of you tried the 'kosher / vegitarian' meals that are being supplied now?   The ones with the separate 'extras' package?   What is your opinion of them?



They're excellent, unfortunately, at least with the meals I've had, there were only 3 variations on the main course, and 1 variation of the accessory pack... the meals themselve are delicious though, but I'd imagine they'd get quite repetitive after a few days. I know that near the end of the training year, our SQMS gets pretty loose with their stocks of veggie rations, and it's always a nice treat.


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## Michael Dorosh (30 Dec 2004)

Just a Sig Op said:
			
		

> Not to say that other support trades don't have pride in their work, but I've never had supply tech look at me a couple of days after issuing kit and ask "So how are your pants? Comfy?" or an RMS clerk look at me and say "You getting paid enough? Can I tack on a little extra for you?".



What a revoltingly bad example.

I worked in a field kitchen one weekend and was appalled by one of the specimens they had working there; of course, I know she washed out as a weapons tech and had been on a course with her in which her hobby was laying harrassment charges on people....

Anyway, I worked with some excellent fin clerks who DID follow up what they did just like the cooks in your example.  Don't be stupid and suggest that because clerks don't offer to break the law or steal money they don't care.  I would make a point of remembering who had pay issues, and if I saw them in the mess, or if they came up to my counter about other business, I'd ask about their situation or in some way let them know that their concerns were also mine.  And there are a lot of clerks out there who do the same thing.

And as clothing storesman now, I go out of my way to make it known that concerns about uniforms are my concern, too.  And you know what, I do ask how comfortable their issue stuff is.

Most guys in "cushy" postings will ensure they stay there by being extra helpful and friendly....


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## chrisf (30 Dec 2004)

Michael Dorosh said:
			
		

> What a revoltingly bad example.
> 
> I worked in a field kitchen one weekend and was appalled by one of the specimens they had working there; of course, I know she washed out as a weapons tech and had been on a course with her in which her hobby was laying harrassment charges on people....
> 
> ...



My appologies if I've offended you, that wasn't my intent, nor was it my intent to speak negatively of RMS clerks or supply techs... my two examples were meant largely as tongue in cheek, particularly the "can I tack on a little extra for you" 

It was simply meant as a compliment to the cooks, as everyone knows, an army marches on it's stomach.


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## Blackhorse7 (30 Dec 2004)

The CF LUNG!!!   Is the ham omelet still making CF soldiers want to eat dirt for breakfast?

Worst

IMP

EVER!!!     :-X

Mind you, it took me doing some training in Ft. Ripley to have my first MRE with the little Tabasco bottle it it... one word for that.

Genius.


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## Matt_Fisher (30 Dec 2004)

hahahahaha

I knew it wouldn't be long before somebody mentioned lung in a bag/ham omlette.

Sig Op...I will second your view regarding cooks.  These are some of the hardest working CSS types I've ever met.  As Napoleon said "An Army travels on its belly".


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## Britney Spears (30 Dec 2004)

> Is the ham omelet still making CF soldiers want to eat dirt for breakfast?



AFAIK, no. 

I had read an interesting article a while back (<a href=http://www.nwitimes.com/articles/2004/11/26/updates/odds_and_ends/254b2599ccf6112b86256f58006c32e1.txt>not the same article but of the same subject</a>) noting that the Americans were only 2 years away at most from developing a safe, tasty way of incorporating eggs into their rations. This came as a suprise to me, since as we all know, we in the CF have been enjoying eggs in our rations for years! Why didn't they just ask us how we did it? Certainly since we already possess the technology, we should share it with our American allies? Unless............. ;D



> Sig Op...I will second your view regarding cooks.  These are some of the hardest working CSS types I've ever met.  As Napoleon said "An Army travels on its belly".



If your camp has only 1 air conditione, heater, or other amenity, give it to the cook.  He/She deserves it and you'll all be better off. 




> Not to say that other support trades don't have pride in their work, but I've never had supply tech look at me a couple of days after issuing kit and ask "So how are your pants? Comfy?" or an RMS clerk look at me and say "You getting paid enough? Can I tack on a little extra for you?".



I, for one, welcome our FIN clerk overlords......


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## elbarto (31 Dec 2004)

Speaking of IMP's, in the Jan 2005 issue of Maxim, there is a comparison of hard rations from different countries.   According to them, Canada ties with Germany for third, behind France and Norway.  Rounding out the list was USA followed by the UK.  

The IMP which was tested was supper no. 6 - Salmon Filet.  They were particularly impressed with the long spoon which reaches the bottom of the bag.  They even went so far as to say - and I quote "beats US MRE's by a mile". 

In defence of the MRE, it still has that skookum little bottle of Tabasco sauce, plus skittles.


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## Gayson (31 Dec 2004)

I wish our rats came with tobasco.


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## Big Foot (31 Dec 2004)

speaking of rats, the veal and god only knows what kind of sauce IMP looks like a dead rat floating in a creamy white sauce... use your imagination. and the smell of it... lol. and by the way, it is Ration Individuelle Package or something like that to get RIP.


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## chrisf (1 Jan 2005)

Art Vandelay said:
			
		

> Speaking of IMP's, in the Jan 2005 issue of Maxim, there is a comparison of hard rations from different countries.     According to them, Canada ties with Germany for third, behind France and Norway.   Rounding out the list was USA followed by the UK.
> 
> The IMP which was tested was supper no. 6 - Salmon Filet.   They were particularly impressed with the long spoon which reaches the bottom of the bag.   They even went so far as to say - and I quote "beats US MRE's by a mile".



Salmon filet was definitly a good choice... we'll have to see what we can do about getting some meat balls for them though... mmmm... scrum-diddly-upmtious.


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## bossi (1 Jan 2005)

Art Vandelay said:
			
		

> ... They were particularly impressed with the long spoon which reaches the bottom of the bag  ...



I'm surprised nobody here has mentioned "racing spoons" ...  

And, as far as all-time favourites:  The tin of bacon, chicken dumplings, and crackers from IRPs
(I've actually been able to find IRP components from time to time in stores off the beaten track - brand name label "Select", with the blue stripes - wonderfully nostalgic, and just as tasty at home as in the field ... yes, I know I'm a sick puppy ... and I still think peanut butter should be recognised as a food group!)


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## Freddy Chef (2 Jan 2005)

J. Gayson said:
			
		

> I like the KFS, I always keep it on me incase the the IMP spoon breaks...



Here, here!

KFS is issue, so it is in stock at the CQ/RQ, thus replacing it is easier if it's rendered N/S, lost/stolen etc. [Expendable/replaceable?] 

The question is, which is the cheaper expendable/replaceable piece of kit: The LexanÃ‚® GSI Tekk Cutlery Set, from MEC, or how much the QM/Clothing Stores will charge you for a lost KFS?



			
				Big Foot said:
			
		

> ... it is Ration Individuelle Package or something like that to get RIP.



*"IMP / RICâ ?* is what's printed on the "2000 Patternâ ? ration crate/box.
*aesop081* has a point.



			
				bossi said:
			
		

> I'm surprised nobody here has mentioned "racing spoons"...



Hey, another _Andy McNab_ fan! Good stuff!  ;D

I've had _not so favourite_ IMP's, but never came across any that I hated. [As the username would suggest. ]


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## aesop081 (2 Jan 2005)

Big Foot said:
			
		

> speaking of rats, the veal and god only knows what kind of sauce IMP looks like a dead rat floating in a creamy white sauce... use your imagination. and the smell of it... lol. and by the way, it is Ration Individuelle Package or something like that to get RIP.



I have been eating IMPs......RICs.........for the last 12 years..........I am also of the french persuasion so i wasn't talking out of my ass.  One day, when you are out of RMC and you are all grown up, you will be able to say this as well.


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## Michael Dorosh (2 Jan 2005)

On a totally unrelated note, RIP is actually latin - wonderment has been expressed in the past to see Rest in Peace on German tombstones, for example.  But in Latin, it is the same -_ requiescat in pace_


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## Baloo (2 Jan 2005)

It's fun to learn...because knowledge is power!


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## Gayson (4 Jan 2005)

I had two KFS/s for a while.

When I got issued my webbing parts when I enlisted, my KFS holder had a KFS in it.   ;D


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## kellywmj (7 Jan 2005)

The All Time best ration was the Cross and Blackwell arctic supplement, the chocolate nut cake in a can. Heat it up in the pressure cooker, melt a tube of dairy spread and drizzle it over the top, and eat it right out of the can with a spoon!


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## Kal (7 Jan 2005)

Bossi, good call on the racing spoon.....


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## q_1966 (10 Jan 2005)

Britney Spears said:
			
		

> Hah, I would soooo ace that test.
> 
> Call me a strange one, but I've never come across an IMP or MRE that I didn't like.



Never...what about Ham Steak with...dreaded Pineaple Sauce, If you like that one, then ur a good trading partner

- Shawn


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## Britney Spears (10 Jan 2005)

> Never...what about Ham Steak with...dreaded Pineaple Sauce, If you like that one, then ur a good trading partner



If you will read the rest of my post, you will note that I've considerable experience with said meal.

Also, you're weak. When I get a ham steak in xxx sauce, I always gleefully discard the now unneccesary spoon to make room for more ammunition and grenades. Lightfighter all the way, you know.


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## pbi (10 Jan 2005)

Who here (besides bossi, who was Number Two on a catapult at Masada...) can recall IRPs with cans?  Your food weighed as much as your ammo. There were some jolly things in there, ho, ho. Dracula Meat.....Butter with Broken Glass....Sperm Pudding Bag. Yummy, yum, yum. BTW, are "The Lungs" still in the breakfast menu for IMPs? (The nasty omelettes...)


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## Danjanou (10 Jan 2005)

pbi said:
			
		

> Who here (besides bossi, who was Number Two on a catapult at Masada...) can recall IRPs with cans?   Your food weighed as much as your ammo. There were some jolly things in there, ho, ho. Dracula Meat.....Butter with Broken Glass....Sperm Pudding Bag. Yummy, yum, yum. BTW, are "The Lungs" still in the breakfast menu for IMPs? (The nasty omelettes...)



Ah yes the joys of Puritan Stew or Corn Beef Hash in the litle pull tab cans. Or if you were the CQ's pet you might actually get the canned bacon which rumor has it was actually almost edible. Oh course what do i know I was only the FOO on that catapult.   8)


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## OatmealSavage (10 Jan 2005)

Best plate I ever saw in the field was actually a frisbee. I don't know where the guy got an army green frisbee but it was unbreakable and hard to spill. "I prefer to eat out of my mess tin" is what I used to say whenever I forgot to bring my melmac, or busted it.


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## Bruce Monkhouse (10 Jan 2005)

Quote,
_Who here (besides bossi, who was Number Two on a catapult at Masada...) can recall IRPs with cans?  Your food weighed as much as your ammo. There were some jolly things in there, ho, ho. Dracula Meat.....Butter with Broken Glass....Sperm Pudding Bag. Yummy, yum, yum. BTW, are "The Lungs" still in the breakfast menu for IMPs? (The nasty omelettes...)_

...nothin' more fun than having cans in your pocket when doing section attacks.....down,down......OOOWWWWW!
...but the highlight of the day was picking out what was useful and what wasn't...I was lucky, I think I was the only one who loved the "instant potatoes"[with the one packet of ketchup/salt/pepper] 8)


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## jmackenzie_15 (10 Jan 2005)

As an ex reservist who was on my BMQ once put when boys were all complaining about the rations:

"Listen, theyre here to be eaten, not to be enjoyed."

Good old Dave.


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## Horse_Soldier (10 Jan 2005)

pbi said:
			
		

> Who here (besides bossi, who was Number Two on a catapult at Masada...) can recall IRPs with cans?   Your food weighed as much as your ammo. There were some jolly things in there, ho, ho. Dracula Meat.....Butter with Broken Glass....Sperm Pudding Bag. Yummy, yum, yum. BTW, are "The Lungs" still in the breakfast menu for IMPs? (The nasty omelettes...)



Like they say: time heals all wounds (and wounds all heels)... I have some fond memories of the old canned IRPs.   The bacon in particular always evokes a smile when I contemplate the dreaded omelettes.   Those were the days when a gas attack would see the ground littered with cans (best place to carry 'em: in the gas mask pouch - no "ouch" on the pepperpot attacks)   :blotto:


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## Thompson_JM (10 Jan 2005)

For those wondering. No more Lung in a Bag anymore... in fact i havent seen ham steak in a while... well.. i think they replaced the pineapple sauce with a mustard sauce...


Cheers


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## chrisf (10 Jan 2005)

jmackenzie_15 said:
			
		

> As an ex reservist who was on my BMQ once put when boys were all complaining about the rations:
> 
> "Listen, theyre here to be eaten, not to be enjoyed."
> 
> Good old Dave.



Here's another old saying, any idiot can be uncomfortable... if food can be made to taste good, no harm in making it taste good...


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## jmackenzie_15 (10 Jan 2005)

Also, any idiot can complain, but soldiers take what they are given and make the best of the situation   Its not like if we had whined long enough they would take us all out to subway instead.The food is here, it sucks, but it isnt supposed to be a gourmet meal so just shovel it down and get it over with and hope for better circumstances next time


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## Thompson_JM (13 Jan 2005)

One thing you'll probably learn is that although it may not be professional. it is Our God Given right as soldiers to Gripe and complain.. providing its not the only thing we do........ 

one of those gray areas really....


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## Bomber (13 Jan 2005)

Soldiers are like British restaurant customers, you only really start to worry when they stop complaining.  Remember, a real complaint is always accompanied by a real solution, "this sucks, cause!"  Is what grade school kids do and should not be confused with any real soldiers legitimate form of complaint.  Also, you can make a rat taste pretty freaking good if you put some effort into it.  Buy a spice selection from can tire, throw your bread, still bagged, into the pot, bring a paper plate or something to pour it onto, tastes a bit better if it looks better.  Try to fry those "ham steaks" and eat them like a McD sandwich between the bread.  mix the potatoes with the main meal, boil the pudding in a little water, still in the bag, mixed with hot chocolate, and if becomes a brownie.  Man those things are great.  Just make the time to do it right.


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## OatmealSavage (15 Jan 2005)

jmackenzie_15 said:
			
		

> Also, any idiot can complain, but soldiers take what they are given and make the best of the situation    Its not like if we had whined long enough they would take us all out to subway instead.The food is here, it sucks, but it isnt supposed to be a gourmet meal so just shovel it down and get it over with and hope for better circumstances next time



Actually, I think they do read those report cards in the IMP because where else did the motivation for all the new meals come from? You only have to tell a cook his meal "tastes like ass" so many times before he does something. 
If you believe that hardship builds character, then the absolute best way to dine is to eat your IMP like a fat Mr. Freezie because you are out lying in the snow and you didn't put the bag in a pocket close enough to your skin to thaw it out.


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## my72jeep (15 Jan 2005)

J. Gayson said:
			
		

> I wish our rats came with Tabasco.


I think the US ones get it is because the Family that makes Tabasco sauces  are long time Marines its thier way to support the troops in the field.


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## my72jeep (15 Jan 2005)

bossi said:
			
		

> I'm surprised nobody here has mentioned "racing spoons" ...


I drilled a hole in the top of my racing spoon and put a hunk of 550 through it and keep it around my neck.


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