# Any favourite BMQ memories?



## a_future_clerk

What are your favourite BMQ memories? Mine are the following;

1.) Saying "aye aye" to almost all the BMq staff.

2.) Passing my weapons handling test on the first try after about 60% of the course failed.

3.) Calling a master bombardier a private.

4.) Saluting a master corporal knowingly on the fourth week of BMQ.

5.) the gas hut.

6.) a particular jacking I got on inspection for not having a full water bottle. The mcpl shook my water bottle and asked me why it was not full. I looked at him and did not answer. Then he yelled the question again. After that, he threw the water bottle down and said that he was going to write me up and if I understood that. I tried to talk the mcpl out of writing me up and he yelled once again if I understood that he was going to write me up.

7.) on the first aid portion of my course, I was beating up my dummy.

8.) On the range weekend, the officer was looking for one of the duty NCO's. I walked up to the officer, saluted him, and he looked at me strangely and saluted VERY SLOWLY.

9.) One guy doing the drill test ALL BY HIMSELF. The guy called a sergeant a corporal afterwards.


----------



## keyvan25

1. saluting a sergeant on my 5 day
2. calling my master cpl corpal as i walked by him and as he turned around to yell at me i just ran.
we all had a good laugh about it
3. going to attention with the wrong foot during the grad parade, cuz that was supposed to be infront of me, had a panic attack,
and i had to switch with him last minute, and that got me all messed up. 
4. telling one of my buddies that an officer was walking towards us, and then my buddy turned around called group and saluted a master corporal, who jacked him up pretty bad for that one.

9. practicing drill on the worst hangover of my life.

11. an asian guy from highlanders got drunk off 2 beers and went around singing at the top of his lungs

13. an officer calling me sir, by accident.
14. our section commanders would say funny things. like how cooks are mad cuz they have no legs,, and stuff like that. the guy was the best he kept calling me a nazi even though im west asian, and he would keep bringing it up. and he kept making fun of this french dude. and he went on to teach us a class about how we were graduating from scumbags to turds on our graduatinon this guy was hilarious. but the worst was he never laughed and expected us not to laugh either. sometimes he would come up to my face while were in attention and just wait till i exploded from trying not to laugh, and then he would punish our section. 


_*heavily deleted because much of the events described are a disgrace to my Infantry. The fact that anyone with more than 20 minutes as an NCO would allow any of it, is an embarrassment. That they would do so before recruits, is an insult. That anyone would think that any of the events described are worthy of repeat, let alone boast, is mind-boggling.*_


----------



## Conquistador

15. Buddy falling into a river. While carrying the radio. Twice.
16. Only me and 15 other buddies passing PWT 1 on the first try (on a course with 33 recruits)
17. Buddy falling onto another buddies hooch, who then calls a stand-to for some reason.
18. Watching the sect. 2IC falling into a river, with his IPod and cellphone (yes, they were ruined).
19. Being called "shit-teeth", or "ass-eyes".
20. Watching buddies with only the wet-weather boots do ruck marches and have the soles of their feet peel off.


----------



## Pte. Perry

My BMQ and SQ were run together through a Co-Op, so to me the memories are all from one course. My favourite memory was on SQ, I was on sentry on night in the field  in a Triangular hide. When the Course officer tried to enter the hide, he was halted by my buddy. After giving the password and advancing, my buddy again had him halt, and reached up, and pulled him down. The next time the L.T. cam into view and was halted, he never cam within arms reach!!  ;D

Another good one was when doing an Aussie Peelback, a soldier loosed off 15 rounds with his flash suppresor 2 inches from a MCpl face. The MCpl later threatend to castrate the Private.

When on a night recce, having the box fall off my C9. When i got all the rounds into it, I looked around and say that I was alone. I pointed myself through the woods and ran blindley until I saw the glow of my buddies cat eyes. They never knew I was missing. That same recce, the MCpl leading us lost the Motorola radio, and we spent the next 2 hours trying to find it! It was located the next Morning, with the entire platoon.


_edited for PERSEC reasons._


----------



## 17thRecceSgt

Cornwallis, 12 Platoon, Course 8930.

A recruit with particularly long hair during week one when we got buzzed.  Barber shaved half his head...stopped said "Its dinner time, you will have to come back after lunch to get the rest off."

 :rofl:


----------



## Hopkins

1) Having my sections room torn apart after the gas hut by one MBDR (at the time) ...Gathered equipment from around the sections room and my extra gas mask and made a guy in MOPP 4 on my bed

2) Htting the dirt in a bunch of Poison ivy having my wrist and hand swell up...apparently it was nothing to the medics w00t.

3) Going from a 12 1/2 boot to a 10 1/2 boot by medics orders after a Ruck march 

4) Having Manny spray 5 FD Rocks over a fellow section mates locker 

5) I'm sorry, but seeing all of the Ocdt's gettin jacked up by the Course Wo and Course O was a little bit humourous...


_*edited for PERSEC AGAIN.* Stop using full names and rank, troops. Unless you're looking for someone, think to yourself: "Would this person *WANT* their name and rank placed in the entire public's eye?" Once more, and people will start up the warning ladder._


----------



## The Gues-|-

1) Not having been issued our cornflakes until 4 days before grad. (looking like a bunch of numpty's in the platoon photo)
2) Not having been issued our dogtags period. 
3) The Queens, the Rox and the field

Oh yea... hearing about how our Alpha1 Sgt. ripped into the A2  Master Seaman almost tearing him apart in the bullpen to the delight of many.

CFLRS Borden....... not bad, pretty good


----------



## CanadianGrunt

-Watching my Mclp jump around my cubical and on my bed in evasive mesures from the dust bunnies attack.

-One night after class we where doing our regular duties (sowing, cleaning, that sort've thing) and having a recruit from the other side of the barracks comeing flying through ours wearing his long johns, his combet helm, and his gas mask only to have our sgt come up and catch him goofing off. I got the pleasure of seeing him get jacked right infront of me.

-kit day (we where on the 11th floor)

-watching people in my class do the head bob because they where so tired, I mean I was too but not so much as others.

-Having a memeber from my platoon fart at the wrong time of an inspection, a WO inspection, hahahaha that was a funny jacking.

-Making faces at the guy across from my cubical when he was getting inspected so he'd laugh and get jacked for it.

-waking up everyday at 5am...hahaha not

-Calling my Master bombideer a Mclp on more then one occasion.

-My Master bombideer's idea of pushups....Halfway up!


----------



## radop215

Cornwallis 9304
- hearing "Tim Horton, office NOW!!"
- having a female walk onto my floor with my ironing when my mcpl was giving us a brief, that was a great inspection the next morning
- 48 hr lve, the Liquor Dome in halifax


----------



## kincanucks

The MPs at the front gate of Cornwallis always having my favourite cell ready for my return from a night in Clemensport.


----------



## wookie11

Some female named ***er made our BMQ very very interesting...


----------



## aesop081

CanadianGrunt said:
			
		

> -Calling my Master* bombideer * a Mclp on more then one occasion.
> 
> -My Master *bombideer*'s idea of pushups....Halfway up!



And if he ever saw how you chose to spell his rank....he would tear another strip off of you !!


----------



## CanadianGrunt

Yes I'm sorry let me correct myself *Bombadier*, right?


----------



## Michael Dorosh

Southern Alberta Militia District Battle School 8803

* being the only course I ever heard about in our corner of the reserves to graduate in full DEU, with regimental headdress (even if they did make us wear pants)

*waiting to assault a Soviet-style trench system and seeing Private Bell pick his nose and wipe it on my combat boot followed by a s***-eating grin. In one, disgusting, moment it encapsulated the entire concept of comradeship and shared sacrifice and why I felt lucky to be there.  Like the entire platoon AFAICT, he is no longer in the CF with one exception I am aware of

*firing the C1 SMG on full auto from the hip and getting all my bullets on the target....to the left of the target I was supposed to be shooting at (oops)

*knowing I'll never have to go through it again.


----------



## MdB

CanadianGrunt said:
			
		

> Yes I'm sorry let me correct myself *Bombadier*, right?



Bomba*r*dier


----------



## BEEFY06

Well i think we can all remember some good , funny and bad points. Here i will bring up what stands out the most in my mind.
___ My parents drove me to the front gate of Cornwallis in Jan/04( till this day, i still think it was the coldest winter there.) And all i can hear is this Commissioner laughing at me and saying" Looks like we got another stupid one"...

___ The first day we are all standing in a circle and in walks the instructors. They give us the speech about what u aren't allowed to have etc... Then they left, we all looked at each other for five Min's or so waitting to see you was going to be the first to throw there "contraband" in the boot box....good times

___While doing our last phase in the gas hut, the guy next to me his mask was to big and all i could see was the gas circulating in the eye peaces. I grab him and told him to hang on to my shoulder, pour guy he was getting gassed, but for some reason he didn't want to tell the instructors. Once we got out of the hut and outside his nose started to run like a leaky faucet....never seen so many body fluids come out a nose...Once he was done we bothed laughed our asses off!!!!

___ Trying to the 12km run in snow while wearing sneakers!!!!

There is allot more of course, but like i said these ones stick out. Plus i have encountered the same as some have mentioned before me. I wouldn't change anything and when me and a few buddies that did it together get together we laugh so loud that most people stare at us....Funny thing is in a few weeks I'm going out to ST Jean to become a "Recruit Instructor"


----------



## 17thRecceSgt

gravyboat said:
			
		

> My memories:
> 
> Making some really good friends.
> Becoming part of the "big team"
> A few good weekends ashore in Montreal (first time the PEI boy was in the big city)



Good god, another Islander.  Was your neck sore from looking up at the big building (like mine was the first time in Taranna aka Toronto?)


----------



## Lost_Warrior

Being drilled by a French Vandoo instructor after we just learned the moves by our English instructors (Boy did we pay...)

Being knocked in the head by a milk carton with my helmet on for calling the Mcpl 2IC a Sergeant

Saluting the RSM of the 4R22R (my ears are still ringing)

Being woken up at 1am for PT because someone didn't secure their C7 properly during the night

Ruck marching around Laval and having people honk and give us the thumbs up.

My buddy's nickname given to him by one of our instructors (it's raunchy...PM me if you want to know what it was)

Aah...good times.


----------



## Black Watch

1)call "gas gas gas" when course instructors were having a smoke
2)mcpl Running on parade square swoing a rifle in his hand, shouting "i found thir rifle under someone's bed!" Then comes the vault NCO screming "weapon missing in the vault"
3) Mcpl from BW standing at attention with his arms crossed
4)Saying to my sect commander that he is using psychological warfare on me


----------



## joonrooj

Black Watch said:
			
		

> 4)Saying to my sect commander that he is using psychological warfare on me



 ;D You sir, are my hero.


----------



## Nemo888

My bunk buddy was jacked up for forgetting to put his shoes away and I was written up for it. I actually started catching on that day. Awesome.


----------



## 17thRecceSgt

Getting all our kit on Thursday, Week 1 in Cornwallis.  I lost my belt somehow.  Told my Master Seaman.  

The good guy that he (I thought was)...20 minutes later came in with a new belt for me...and (this guy was 6 foot 3 or 4) standing over me, says in his MS voice...."YOU OWE ME MILLAR!".

I took out my wallet, and (stupidly, as a Week 1 recruit would) say....

"How much Master Corporal...I mean Seamen"  ok so TWO wrong things to say...

After he pretty much made me crap my pants with the look on his face....well...

1 word folks...

"pushups"

 ;D


----------



## 17thRecceSgt

On a Recruit course I was teaching on....

Recruit:  I want to see the Warden.

Me:  the WHAT?  Get your heels together there you when you talk to staff!

Recruit:  I wish to see Warden Officer (insert name here) Sergeant!

I had to walk away...


Same course.

Recruit goes across the drill floor, arms breast pocket high, smartly but no beret on...

Me:  Pte Bloggins, where's your headdress at?!?!?!?

Pte Bloggins:  On my pillow when you let us sleep Sergeant!

 :

He was NOT the tallest tree in the woods but was thought to be one of the thickest...


----------



## 17thRecceSgt

gravyboat said:
			
		

> Big time.  I did learn another fellow in my Platoon was from PEI that weekend.  "Watch out boyz, the sidewalk is slippy".



and if it had been winter he woud have said it was "right slippy!"


----------



## medicineman

My fondest memory of Basic was leaving Cornholis oops, Cornwallis.

MM


----------



## Pearson

22 birthday, easter weekend....on a bus going to Cornwallis in 1987. Did not know Mom had stuck a chocholate bunny in my suitcase... "All right welcome to Cornwallis... open your bags"..hmmm I'm sure the staff enjoyed it.


----------



## 17thRecceSgt

Frankie said:
			
		

> 22 birthday, easter weekend....on a bus going to Cornwallis in 1987. Did not know Mom had stuck a chocholate bunny in my suitcase... "All right welcome to Cornwallis... open your bags"..hmmm I'm sure the staff enjoyed it.



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ok you just made my night!   :rofl:


----------



## sober_ruski

Pre-story:
We didnt sleep in our beds (like anyone does  : ), a couple days after our FTX we were suppose to have sheet exchange. Most of us didnt do it. Some individual in a state of complete fuckupery told to the Sgt who was doing the sheet exchange that "we dont need to exchange our sheets 'cause we dont sleep in our beds"... Yeah. NOT good.
They made us call take our beds apart, wash them, and do all that while calling out the time 1-23-1 
Fun times.

====
@the person who said "waking up at 5am every morning...not". You actually got to sleep in 'til 5? Damn.


----------



## dardt

During Div Commander's Inspection watching a member of my platoon salute the Major with his left hand.

Watching the same guy then salute the Sergeant Major during the same inspection (at least he did it with the right hand this time).

During First Aid Class pointing to the MCpl instructor implying he should take off his beret (It was the 1st week and I thought he was a member of our platoon). He looked so confused and patted his head checking his beret, I just walked away fearing for my life.


----------



## Trooper Hale

I've a few but this one definately stands out, in fact the whole thing PJ's stands out. At Kapooka (Australian Army Recruit Training) first thing in the morning the staff call out "Hallway" and everyone screams in back, rips off their bottom sheet and bursts into the hallway to stand at attention in there predetermined spots, nothing to unusual there but add to it this. We were issued these ugly lime green PJ's that had a fly in the pants about 10cm long... but with no button...
A bunch of young guys, first thing in the morning, no button. Can you fill the blanks? For the girls there it was an anatomy lesson, for the guys it was simply embarrassing.
Also marching down the hallway to the SAL's and having things fall out through this gigantic hole in the front of your pants, i'm pretty sure they put the girls in the first room before the SAL's just to embarrass us!
May as well add one more as well, the night before the Challenge i was on picket. It was raining heavily, the guy on the minimi (C9) was asleep next to me and all around me nature was raging. It was a huge storm. The i've never seen the sky like i did that night. It was beyond beautiful. Lightning was flashing every few seconds, there was just a constant glow around us, for a brief second huge shadows would swell up and then disappearing in almost the same instant before reappearing in a completely different guise. Kangaroos would suddenly show up not 10m away, smashing through the bush but you never heard a sound of them. Just the thunder everywhere. The sight of the artfully arranged hoochies (we'd created super tents with them) and the sleeping bodies under them as the light created all these different shades, shadows and appearences on them is something i dont think i'll ever be able to describe in all its glory.
I was huddled down next to a tree, wet through and despite it being 3 in the morning i'd never felt so alive or so awake. It was mad, exhilerating, exciting, beautiful, moving, fascinating and beyond belief. When ever i need it i can take myself back to that night and still be in awe of what i saw. 
The pride they instilled in us at Kapooka in being an Australian soldier still beats VERY strongly through me and it was the absolute time of my life.
Keep them coming folks,
Hales


----------



## 735_winnipeg

is there anyone here who did their CommRes BMQ/SQ in Shilo during 2004?


----------



## grayman

My favorite BMQ moment...........Every 11 weeks a grad parade, followed by a couple of days off!!,  Ah leave, need I say more.


----------



## 735_winnipeg

my fave moment is...when it was over and we got to go home.


----------



## new_armoured_trooper

A few of my personal favorites: 

-being inspected on my reserve BMQ course. M/Cpl checking canteens to make sure they're filled properly. Any that were not, he was launching over his shoulder. Watching him take a nearly full canteen, throw it over his shoulder, and knock out the cleaning lady, who was taking a floor buffer across the floor, priceless. She had to be rushed to emerg with a massive concussion, and somehow actually came back to work. Nothing will ever replace the look on his face, not having seen the event, but hearing this 6'0, 240ish pound woman crumple to the floor. 

-seeing the effects of someone in the gas hut have a rather....upset stomach due to the effects of the gas, and deciding to release said troubles...while still wearing their mask. 

-seeing a course instructor drive off with their boots still sitting on the roof of their car, never to have the boots seen again.


----------



## medicineman

new_sig_op said:
			
		

> -seeing the effects of someone in the gas hut have a rather....upset stomach due to the effects of the gas, and deciding to release said troubles...while still wearing their mask.



Ahh yes, the joy of watching the goggles fill...

MM


----------



## navymich

Okay, I know this will definitely just go to prove the thoughts that certain individuals have about reserves anyway, but here goes.

The best thing about my basic training was being able to go home every night and every weekend.  ;D

I did mine in 1991 and it was called PRSTP (Primary Reserve Summer Training Program).  Starting in 1992, all NavRes started going to Cornwallis, then Borden a few years later for basic.  But up until then, there were approximately 30 recruits at each unit across Canada, that trained within the unit in July and August.  The majority of the course was classroom work, with daily PT and a one week field phase held at a nearby range.  We didn't know any different, so we thought that was all there was to it.


----------



## nurse sarah

On my IAP a few years ago we were marching to one of our classes and my Section commander comes down(very angry looking) and says 'YOU....come with me...' so I followed him down this hallway completely terrified to where another Sgt is waiting for me(also looking quite angry and he was a BIG guy) anyways he says to me 'I know your dad, just wanted to say hi' and the two Sgts sent me back to class while they laughed in the hallway. Needless to say I had some choice words for my dad when I called home that night.


----------



## Roy Harding

new_sig_op said:
			
		

> A few of my personal favorites:
> 
> ..., and knock out the cleaning lady, who was taking a floor buffer across the floor, priceless....



"Cleaning Lady"?  What's a "Cleaning Lady"?  And why was SHE taking a floor buffer across the floor in YOUR barracks?

My head spins as it shakes.


----------



## 17thRecceSgt

Roy Harding said:
			
		

> "Cleaning Lady"?  What's a "Cleaning Lady"?  And why was SHE taking a floor buffer across the floor in YOUR barracks?
> 
> My head spins as it shakes.



Hehe, I know I was a "cleaning lady" on my Recruit Training (aka BMQ). So were the other 124 folks in the platoon.   ;D

But that was a few years back (17'ish), Roy, I am betting yours was before mine?   ;D


----------



## Roy Harding

Mud Recce Man said:
			
		

> Hehe, I know I was a "cleaning lady" on my Recruit Training (aka BMQ). So were the other 124 folks in the platoon.   ;D
> 
> But that was a few years back (17'ish), Roy, I am betting yours was before mine?   ;D



A year or two, perhaps.


----------



## Thompson_JM

Ive got a couple....

-on the FTX one of the Troops Eating an entire Haybox tray of corn so he could get the extra Fat Pills... (no it wasnt me)

- after spending 4 hours trying to clean my weapon, the DS realize that 4 hours of cleaning will not remove 4 days of gunk... so they tell us to just oil them up good and let them soak....  so after doing all that and getting sent back time after time, I go to hand in my rifle, 

Sgt. : (looking at rifle. opens it up inspects breech, trigger mech, etc...) You missed a spot right here on the trigger mech...

me: (Tired beyond all belief with a GAF Factor in the negatives, Sticks my finger into the bore, pulls out a glob of clp and rubs it into the spot i missed) Done Sgt!

Sgt. : (Trying not to laugh at this point) Thompson.... Go to bed.......

(it was funny when i remembered it.....)

- Getting flashed by some woman drinking on her roof while we were on a Ruck march in downtown Hamilton

- Getting Interviewed by the NIS (not so much a favorite, but definatly a memorable one...)

- trying to do grad parade practice the day after our 13Km March, and learning that the RHLI like to march reeeeeeaaallly fast.....

- having an MWO instruct one of our basic Comm Crse leacturse and then react in suprise when we ask what type of PT we will be doing that day... ( we did Radio PT.... run to one end of the armouries... put together a 77 Set, ID the parts, do 20 push-ups and run back.... it was a good day....

- and of course... The Day the Darned thing ended.... 4 months of Co-Op Done!  

Mike Dorosh said it best though.... Knowing I'll never have to do it again did feel pretty good...


----------



## BDTyre

Here's some from the one weekend I did before personal reasons forced me to RTU.

1. Doing bayonet drills against wooden pallets.  We're all in line, silent but excited.  All of a sudden, there's a metallic twang and "YOU BROKE YOUR ****ING BAYONET!!  NOW WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?"  And then, from the same Sargeant, "Don't worry about it."
2. Not ten minutes later, seeing the same Sargeant and a different recruit attempting to extract the rifle from the wooden pallet,  The ended up laying the pallet down so the rifle was vertical.  They then pivoted the rifle back and forth until it popped free.
3. A few of us staying after everyone had left to help clean up the gym and being told to "Go the **** home, but please clean your faces before you do."
4. After being given every indication that we would have a fire drill that night (with the exception of actually being told "We are having a fire drill."), still seing someone wander out at 3am wearing nothing but issue underwear, combat boots and a ranger blanket.
5. The drug and alcohol talk.


----------



## RowdyBowdy

We were at farnham in the winter, this one OS had his gloves fall into the porta-potty.  He got into big trouble from the staff.  When he told us about it, one PTE suggested to do what he does and put them in the "sink".

He was called Private Pissmits for the rest of the course.


----------



## 17thRecceSgt

RowdyBowdy said:
			
		

> We were at farnham in the winter, this one OS had his gloves fall into the porta-potty.  He got into big trouble from the staff.  When he told us about it, one PTE suggested to do what he does and put them in the "sink".
> 
> He was called Private Pissmits for the rest of the course.



HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

 :rofl:


----------



## rmacqueen

Crse 8213 in Cornwallis.  My buddy and I were the only combat arms recruits in a platoon full of support trades.  Our cleaning station was the TV/smoking room and one night after we had cleaned it and closed it off for the night, someone snuck in and had a smoke.  In the process they left ashes on the window sill that were picked up the during morning inspection.  When we explained to the MCpl what had happened his solution was for the two of us to do all of our duties in that room to ensure it didn't happen again.  So, from that point on we got to do our ironing and shining while watching TV and smoking whenever we wanted.  It was rough ;D


----------



## 17thRecceSgt

rmacqueen said:
			
		

> Crse 8213 in Cornwallis.  My buddy and I were the only combat arms recruits in a platoon full of support trades.  Our cleaning station was the TV/smoking room and one night after we had cleaned it and closed it off for the night, someone snuck in and had a smoke.  In the process they left ashes on the window sill that were picked up the during morning inspection.  When we explained to the MCpl what had happened his solution was for the two of us to do all of our duties in that room to ensure it didn't happen again.  So, from that point on we got to do our ironing and shining while watching TV and smoking whenever we wanted.  It was rough ;D



Ok, I was Course 8930.  Things MUST have changed in those 7 years...whats this TV/Smoking room?????????

I think I was ripped off on my course !

I am proceeding with my Redress of Grievance!


----------



## rmacqueen

Mud Recce Man said:
			
		

> Ok, I was Course 8930.  Things MUST have changed in those 7 years...whats this TV/Smoking room?????????
> 
> I think I was ripped off on my course !
> 
> I am proceeding with my Redress of Grievance!



There were certain benefits to being with a support platoon


----------



## NavComm

all in all I did 17 weeks of bmq, 6 weeks last summer (rtu'd) and then 11 weeks Jan-Mar 06. I have a lot of fond memories but this one sticks out:

During the Company Commander's inspection he asks my roommate: what is the large aperature on the C-7 rifle used for OS Bloggins?

Bloggins: Not sure, sir.

OIC: take a guess

Bloggins: OK...hummm....ok it's to blow up large buildings?

Nobody kept a straight face after that one

edited to add: the really best part is the people you meet and remain in contact with and of course the day you get to leave!


----------



## 17thRecceSgt

rmacqueen said:
			
		

> There were certain benefits to being with a support platoon



But we had to smoke in the "Hollow Square".

Authorized smoking time was from 10 til the hour until the hour.

It was also the only time we were allowed outside after trng.

So of course, lots of non-smokers were in the Hollow Square holding cig's they didn't actually smoke...and all of us in our overalls, slippers and berets!

I think 10% of the recruits picked up smoking just to get out for fresh air   :blotto:

12 Platoon, 8930, "Challenget to Smoke Excel"

For those who remember that time, my Pltn Cmdr was "Clyde".  Man could he scream when he was mad, and I will NEVER forget when he had on the spit-polished Jungle boots with clickers on them   ;D

Good times!


----------



## Blackadder1916

rmacqueen said:
			
		

> .... When we explained to the MCpl what had happened ...


Oh My God!!!  An explanation accepted by a MCpl!  How things were different on my basic 7633.  The usual responses from our instructors to excuses why something wasn't perfect were along the lines of:

"Sounds like a personal problem, princess"
"Don't make excuses, make it right"
"Who gave you permission to speak"
"Who gives a flying f***"


----------



## 17thRecceSgt

blackadder1916 said:
			
		

> Oh My God!!!  An explanation accepted by a MCpl!  How things were different on my basic 7633.  The usual responses from our instructors to excuses why something wasn't perfect were along the lines of:
> 
> "Sounds like a personal problem, princess"
> "Don't make excuses, make it right"
> *"Who gave you permission to speak"*
> "Who gives a flying f***"



+1 to that one!

7633???????

YIKES


----------



## rmacqueen

blackadder1916 said:
			
		

> Oh My God!!!  An explanation accepted by a MCpl!



Perhaps I should have included that he was an air force MCpl


----------



## 17thRecceSgt

rmacqueen said:
			
		

> Perhaps I should have included that he was an air force MCpl



And he proceeded to hand you an AWESOME box lunch??


----------



## joonrooj

Mud Recce Man said:
			
		

> And he proceeded to hand you an AWESOME box lunch??


And a cigar, and $100 of 'just because' money, and a key to the presidential sweet...


----------



## rmacqueen

Jealous?  The cigar was good though ;D


----------



## jmnavy

On our first weekend off we all headed out to the bar in Barrie.  One guy in particular had way too much to drink and headed off to go hug the porcelain princess.  A few guys went with him and waited outside to make sure he was alright.  They were talking for a while and realised that buddy had been in there for 10 minutes so they went in to check.

They found him passed out on the bathroom floor, arms around the toilet.  Naked.

Realising he was going to be sick he took off ALL his clothes so they wouldn't get puked on.  They found his clothes a few feet away, folded in perfect 12x12 inch squares!!  Now that's a well trained recruit!


----------



## 211RadOp

- 11 Pl, 8837 

- Day 1 - My father was a snr Officer with the RCR. Knowing that it would eventually come out, I decided to keep it as close as possible to the chest. (Remember, DON'T STAND OUT). The instructors came in. 1 x MBdr, 4 x AF MCpls, 1 x AF Cpl, 1 x PO2 (Trg Sgt), 1 x MP WO (Pl Comd). I think to myself, chances are no one knows who I am. MCpl AF Admin Clerk type comes up to me and it starts.

"A********, do you have any family in the military??" Being the honest type, I quickly replied "Yes MCpl, I have 3." I knew exactly where he was going with this.
"Are any of them Infantry Officers?" "Yes MCpl, all three" (Technically a slight fib as my brother was an OCdt at the time)
"I'm wondering if any of them are Snr Officers Pte" "Yes MCpl, two of them are."
"Look, I'm trying to figure out if you are related to LCol A*******" "Yes MCpl, my cousin is a Reserve LCol in Toronto"
"A********, you are really trying me!! A********, RCR, Gagetown 93-95!!!" "Yes MCpl, that would be my father, but he is a Col now."
"Best CO I've ever had" and he walked away. I was damn near pooping my pants. Turned out he was a Coy Clk when my dad was there.

- Week 10 - Grad parade practice. Pl Comd on the Pde Square in the drill hall. The WO was very french. No one could understand his drill commands. After about an hour of trying to figure out what he was saying, he angerly threw his pace stick across the drill hall, screaming "PO D**********, sort these people out!!!!"  PO D******** then gets on the Pde Square and waits for the WO to leave. "Alright, lets see how you do this in English" Some how we managed to keep the snickers to ourselves.


----------



## Mud

Well it was QL2 way back then ...... but,

1) The weekend I forgot my second uniform, I had to get my dad to bring it to the armoury (yeah it was pretty lame) and ofcourse i did'nt get much sleep that night!
2) Actually remembering my C7 serial number when asked by the seargant
3) Pushups in the parking lot at 3AM in -22C
4) Very good food at Borden!


----------



## mudeater

The guy who came out of the Borden gas hut and then got gas crystals on his hands. He then went to take a whiz in the Blue Thunder Shack. A few seconds later he came running out with his NBC suit around his knees and his weenie in his hand yelling "it burns, it burns". He was heading towards a snow bank to shove his weenie in until a Mcpl yelled "no, no, water makes it worse."


----------



## rmacqueen

mudeater said:
			
		

> The guy who came out of the Borden gas hut and then got gas crystals on his hands. He then went to take a whiz in the Blue Thunder Shack. A few seconds later he came running out with his NBC suit around his knees and his weenie in his hand yelling "it burns, it burns". He was heading towards a snow bank to shove his weenie in until a Mcpl yelled "no, no, water makes it worse."



There's always one on every course


----------



## Zartan

jmnavy said:
			
		

> Realising he was going to be sick he took off ALL his clothes so they wouldn't get puked on.  They found his clothes a few feet away, folded in perfect 12x12 inch squares!!  Now that's a well trained recruit!



My roommates told me of something like that I did. That week we had been learning about patrols, and had, naturally, been practising our parade drills with the invisible C7s. So one of the buddies is on weapons sentry, so when he's revived to "patrol the corridors," up I get in my tartan boxers and some shirt and start doing the walk around barefoot with my arms at the ready position. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know."

All I remember is going back to bed.

Another good memory was during the field ex. The Section to our right is being bumped, and from 50 ft out, a MCpl tosses a smoke grenade. It arcs over the head of the fireteam, hits the mound behind their trench, and rolls in.
"GAS GAS GAS MOTHERF*****S!!"
To this they pull out their gas masks not, but continue throwing blanks and words at the enemy force. Eventually, the smoke builds so thick, they can't breathe. They throw down their weapons and roll out of the trench, and are promptly machine gunned at point blank by their charging grenadier. Freaking awesome. They had green heads for days.


----------



## The Patmeister

"What about fountain pop?" became one of the most repeated quotes of the entire BMQ/SQ.

We did ours this summer in Chilliwack (just graduated yesterday actually), and we had this one complete numpty of a recruit, the guy didnt look a day over 12.  We are informed by our NCO's that we are not to take any pop from the mess at meal times, the recruit raises his hand and asks, honest to god, "does that include fountain pop?"  The Master Bombardier stormed over, leaned right into him and screamed "IF ITS FIZZY, IT DOESNT GO IN YOUR FACE!"


----------



## tannerthehammer

During SQ I was taking a dump in the washroom during the CSM's inspections of the washrooms OOPPPS!

Here is a funny one,

Recruit talking to a MCPL:

Recruit: "Yes Super Corporal!"

MCPL: "Super Corporal!  What the **** is a Super Corporal!"


----------



## twistidnick

Windsor Garrison BMQ 0605

21 Svc Bn
Windsor R
Essex and Kent Scots

1. A guy took a large breath as he entered the gas hut then screamed mother f*ckers and got CS in his lungs

2. Capturing the SQ's OP with just 4 BMQ and a MCpl. Then enjoying the looks on their faces as we striped their weapons away and threw them in the sand(good old Borden)

3.Getting the "choclate lips" away after grad parade for the most outstanding ass kissing.

4. Doing a Timmies run in MOPP 4.

5. Having beer bottles chucked at us from some drunk a**holes during a ruck march.

6.My Sec2IC slicing his arm open on a white board, he didn't realize it was so bad until a troop said "Cpl your dripping blood on the floor' then he went pale and almost passed out.

7. Our course WO speeches. he is the best speaker in the world. His speeches made you feel even more proud to be serving Canada.

8. Shoving 13 larger people into the back of a MILCOT.

9. Having a 2Lt tell us he was going to join Hamas if he didn't make CAP this year. ( he is Palestinian in origin) then having 2 of the big guys on my course tell him they were gonna kick his a**. (it was a joke by the way)

10. Going to the bar i work at after a weekend with a few buddies in uniform and getting a drink, then getting yelled at by some old dude about how it was against the law for us to do this and how he was calling the cops.

that's all for now i  and i cant wait to start SQ hopefully sooner then later


----------



## CBH99

I went on my QL2 course back in 1999 - I didn't know my folks had packed up some munchies for me, nor did I know they had packed up some of my fitness magazines for me.  (Some of the covers show more than a Playboy cover - back in those days anyhow).

Got to Wainwright, and was asked very specifically..."Do you have any pornographic material?"     
-  "No."

-  "Did you pack any snacks or food?"

-  "No."

They proceeded to open my bags, only to find a ton of junk food and scantily clad bikini women right at the top of the heap.  Obviously, I knew my folks had thrown in a little surprize for me...sure as hell couldn't make a convincing argument to the course staff to try and explain it though!!   

Turned out to be the first of many verbal warnings for shit I didn't know about   ???


----------



## Army Hopefull

1. having a Mcpl jack me up for air humping on an officers inspection

2. calling a master bombardier master corporal and have her scream at the top of her lungs

3. getting more than 5 hours of sleep on the weekends

4. thinking your section commander wants you too lead a charge on the exercise when hes not even there
( lack of sleep 1- 2 hours a night )
  
5. doing drill with invisible rifles to waste time in front of the armories and having all the staff crack up watching us struggle to do it


----------



## Black Watch

tannerthehammer said:
			
		

> During SQ I was taking a dump in the washroom during the CSM's inspections of the washrooms OOPPPS!
> 
> Here is a funny one,
> 
> Recruit talking to a MCPL:
> 
> Recruit: "Yes Super Corporal!"
> 
> MCPL: "Super Corporal!  What the **** is a Super Corporal!"


cracked me up...reminds me of a recriot calling a corporal "colonel" Here's the story:

Rct:Yes colonel!
Cpl: it's corporal, you ************************
Rct:Allright colonel


----------



## Pte. Perry

One good memory was marching to the gas hut, and seeing a bunch of Maj and a BrigGen standing around. They were doing the gas test in preperation to go overseas. Only thing is, the didnt have bunny suits, just Rain Coats and pants ;D we ended up letting them borrow some of ours


----------



## 17thRecceSgt

Pte. Perry said:
			
		

> One good memory was marching to the gas hut, and seeing a bunch of Maj and a BrigGen standing around. They were doing the gas test in preperation to go overseas. Only thing is, the didnt have bunny suits, just Rain Coats and pants ;D we ended up letting them borrow some of ours



Its a test now?   ;D


----------



## medicineman

I still say seeing the gates of Cornholis, oops, Cornwallis, in the rear window of the bus I was on when I left.

MM


----------



## 17thRecceSgt

medicineman said:
			
		

> I still say seeing the gates of Cornholis, oops, Cornwallis, in the rear window of the bus I was on when I left.
> 
> MM



But it was FUN there!  a 10 week vacation more or less... ;D



My fingers looked like hamburger when I was done labelling my kit.  8 stiches per 1/4 inch as per 'the bible'...fun fun fun.

I DID however beat up my long underwear in the laundry room one night.  They just didn't want to go 8" by 12" for some reason...BAM BAM BAM.

Oddly that didn't help at all...


----------



## medicineman

There was the time I was squad knob and we had a fire alarm go off - I was the last guy out as per SOP and as I walked quickly down the stairs, I almost got my balls chewed off by a huge german shepherd pulling his handler up the stairs to have a sniff in our lockers...

MM


----------



## 17thRecceSgt

medicineman said:
			
		

> There was the time I was squad knob and we had a fire alarm go off - I was the last guy out as per SOP and as I walked quickly down the stairs, I almost got my balls chewed off by a huge german shepherd pulling his handler up the stairs to have a sniff in our lockers...
> 
> MM



"Almost" being the key word in that sentence?  Is that one of those "coulda been worser" moments?


----------



## rmacqueen

My favourite memory from Corwallis was having a sister platoon ;D ;D ;D


----------



## Leonidio

1.Calling a Mcpl wich was a combat medic..Medic
2.Seeing a recruit salute a Pte(R) on the 2nd day,and jackep hardcore up by Mcpl that saw him
3.We were setting up trip flares and an Officer was waving his arms trying to see were it was, the Mcpl,thinking it was a recruit yelled "Stop F****** around you!"
4.During inspection, "What is wrong with you're flag Pte?-Its a bit burnt Mcpl!- ------ITS UPSIDE DOWN!!!!!!!! :rage:!
5.Having my FT partner have an ND and having the entire section cover the ones that had to carry me to the CP and put a dressing on me and do all the drills.
6.Seeing everyone running around in boxers during the first Stand-to at 1 30 am.
7.We were talking from hoochie to hoochie " Ah I need a massage on my back" the other Pte says "Ah,I need a massage on my b***s
and a very strong voice from out of nowhere say "WHO THE F*** IS TALKING ABOUT B****?
8.Seeing a Pte saluting the Lcol with his left hand on the graduation parade..


Those were just some memories for my Bmq and Sq...


----------



## 17thRecceSgt

Maybe I am a party-pooper but #5 wasn't that funny.

Some of the others were really funny   ;D (like #3)  "trip flares"


----------



## navymich

rmacqueen said:
			
		

> My favourite memory from Corwallis was having a sister platoon


They had females in the military way back then??   ;D


----------



## rmacqueen

navymich said:
			
		

> They had females in the military way back then??   ;D


Yeah, they were in charge of the horses and stacking the cannon balls...smart a** :nana:


----------



## LeonTheNeon

It is about week 5 or 6.  I'm starting to get the hang of the whole inspection thing.  I've cleaned my windsills, behind the bed, the floor near the closet, the floor of the closet, etc.   I'm thinking ok, this time I think I've done it.

So in comes the sargeant (he did our inspections for that week), and I'm at attention trying to keep from grinning from ear to ear.  He goes around my room.  Dirty weapon.  I'm thinking "I think those stupid rifles produce oil!" but not bad only one thing wrong.  He turns and says "Good room.  Did you clean behind your desk?"

That inner grin turned to a total depression in 0.0000001 seconds.  Nope, never occured to me to clean behind the desk.  So I said "No Sergeant."  So he moves the desk and out comes flying the "Mother of All Dust Bunnies" (TM)  swirling in the wind.  (I swear dust reproduces like bunnies at the Mega, we think they pump it in through the vents!).  "Unhygienic room" he says.   The sight of that giant dust bunny still cracks me up.


Second memory.

At basic, an undone button is 25 pushups.  I hate pushups so I resolved to myself to never get button pushups.  What a waste of good energy.  Every day I check all the buttons on my clothes in the closet.  At that time our inspecting DS was a PO.  And everytime the PO would check all of my buttons.  Never found any.  Until about week 9 or 10.

In he comes for inspection.  Scans quickly through my clothes, since by this time he expects them all to be done.  Suddenly he stomps and drops into that DS crouched stance.  Hilarious.  Of course, I instantly know what it is.  Out comes a dress shirt.  "What this Officer Cadet?" "That would be 25 pushups PO"  "Yes, that would be 25 pushups get started."  The image of him dropping down like a tiger about to strike breaks me up.


----------



## Darth_Hamel

735_winnipeg said:
			
		

> is there anyone here who did their CommRes BMQ/SQ in Shilo during 2004?



Yeah I was in 4 pltn 2 sec, F***ing Shilo


----------



## cpl.wolowidnyk

i remember getting off the bus in dundurn in '03 with a half decent hangover and having a very hardcore ex airborne Sargent tare a strip off of us for the rest of the day while we put together bunk beds   WORST CANADA DAY EVER!!


----------



## agadou

The entire platoon going in the gas hut without the gaz mask and the instructors taking a photo for us in the chamber.
Having a buddy at SQ using "ty-wraps" on a captain because he didn't know the password, he was visiting...


----------



## The Generals Son

1.  Being reunited with my long lost best friend from elementary school (12 years later) - Good thing I remembered his first name.

Worst BMQ memory = the day it ended...


----------



## Leonidio

agadou said:
			
		

> The entire platoon going in the gas hut without the gaz mask and the instructors taking a photo for us in the chamber.
> Having a buddy at SQ using "ty-wraps" on a captain because he didn't know the password, he was visiting...



LOL,the same thing happend to us with the Company Major!We took out his boot laces to tie him up!


----------



## SoF

I owed 800 something pushups for undone buttons lol, my mistake as I should have check after my buddy had ironed them.


----------



## LittlePammy

Singing our National Anthem on our rucksack marches.   Still gives me goose bumps thinking about it.


----------



## Trooper Hale

I dont know if this counts but walking to the Mess in Pet in Australian DPCU's and having, on numourous occasions, an entire platoon of recruits salute me as i passed them....I always saluted back too ;D wouldnt want to be rude now would i? Almost as funny was having the recruits doing their DP1 in the Dragoon shacks (you should know who you are) being told by a MCpl that the females should avoid contact with "Any Dragoon...Or the sleazy Australian". They really thought i was out there to pick up the girls on that course!
Recce_by_death would have some great ones from instructing BMQ's, SQ's or DP1's i'd imagine as would most of your instructors


----------



## medaid

Ah...yes a buddy of mine 'shot' another buddy of ours becaus he saw him twice within a 30 second delay...


The story goes like this. We were hunkered down in our holes, and out of 'no where' (this is 2am) we were bumped! So stand to! everyone pile out of our hides and into our trenches. Buddy was half asleep reached for his rifle, and saw a dark shadowy figure run through our lines infront of one of the trenches (YES!! Very very smart!) Anywho Buddy 1 shot him! BANG BANG BANG!!! (3 militia rounds)..So Buddy 2 was all stunned and amazed and said "It's JOE (not real name) YOU DIP SH%T!!!" and Buddy 1 was like..."DAMNATIONS!! I'm soo sorry!" and Joe buggers off to his trench! Well when we stood down and returned to our hides Joe runs back  to the hide to grab his ranger blancket cuz now he was sentry. Buddy 1 raised his rifle again and  yeld! "HALT! WHO GOES THERE?!" an Joe was like "It's ME!! JOE YOU IDIOT (or words to that effect)" and Buddy 1 yelled out " YOu cant be Joe! I just saw Joe! and I SHOT HIM!!!" with that, Buddy 1 poored a 3 round burst of militia rounds into poor ol'joe....


----------



## Sub_Guy

1.  Plt 9634    A certain WO decided to inspect the neatly folded undies in the locker, he discovered "streaks" in a dirty pair that my buddy thought he could hide by placing them on the bottom of the pile......  

WO: "WTF is that sh*t?
OS: No Warrant
WO: NO, Have a close look (he held them in his face and asked him if that was sh*t again)
OS: Yes Warrant, it's shit.

What was he thinking.....

2. MWO inspecting my locker (friday morning inspection if you pass you were given the weekend off, fail and you get to hang in the mega) decided to throw everything in my locker onto my bed, (except the personal box).  On my bed was the usual crap boots, C7 (in pieces).  He then FLIPS my mattress sending crap everywhere.  I nearly sh*t my pants.....  What does he say to me on his way out of my cubicle, EXCELLENT inspection.....  

3. Mcpl kicks a garbage can in the cubicle beside me, it rolls under the desk into my cubicle.... He then sh*ts all over me for having 2 garbage cans......  Ahh good times.


----------



## Fredster

1.     Walking with PO during open locker inspection.  He gets so pissed that he starts throwing random objects from people's lockers.  Gets to buddy's locker, throws his underwear all over the bed, then turns around and says "Why the **** is there underwear all over your bed?"  Buddy replies with "Because you just threw them there, PO..." to which PO says "Yes, I was a little angry!  You people piss me off!!!!"

2.     Buddy walks into a room and addresses a particularily smart-mouthed master-seaman as "leading seaman".  Buddy gets jacked up.  Proceeds to address him as "ordinary seaman".  Master-seaman is too peeved to say anything by this point.  Buddy says "sorry master-corporal!".  This was a total gong show.

3.     Doing drill with three angry instructors in HD-4 at St-Jean (the "Hall of Pain") and not having a very good day as a platoon.  Subsequently having three more very angry instructors walk out onto the drill square from out of nowhere, thus getting yelled at from just about every possible direction and with every profanity, both English and French, in existence.  We did a lot of pushups that day.

4.     Doing weapons classes with a particularily loud PPCLI MCpl.  Several people had the bad habit of putting their finger on the trigger, to which the MCpl would yell "GET YOUR FINGER OFF THAT TRIGGER COWBOY!!!!"

5.    The whole platoon once got in trouble and we were made to march around a parking lot and do drill for 45 minutes.  It wasn't that hard, but our platoon was having another bad day and the instructors were out to screw us up that day.  We messed up so many times, and were lined up in three ranks so that we could get yelled at.  The best part was listening to MBdr go from lecturing us, to shouting, to yelling profanities at us, to having trouble finding the words to insult us in English, and finally just yelling a string of profanities and insults at us in French.

6.     A certain Pte dropped his rifle.  They made him do 25 pushups.  He forgot to remove the cigarette from his mouth, so he was made to do them all over again.  Buddy was walking with him and laughed when the rifle dropped, so he was made to do 25 pushups too.

7.     After finishing a ruck march and running the obstacle course twice, I was exhausted.  I crashed onto my rucksack for a couple of minutes, and was in a "provocative" position.  MBdr walks up to me with his pace stick and in his thick French accent says "What the ****, are you humping that rucksack?" while doing a humping motion with his hips.  I smiled and started vigorously humping my rucksack.  MBdr didn't know what to say, he just stood there speechlessly with his mouth agape and a blank look on his face.

8.     A certain Pte didn't shave regularily or use deodorant.  During inspection, Sgt noticed the lack of shaving from a distance and walked in very close to inspect buddy's face.  Sgt notices the stench and says in a very thick French accent "I don't mean to be rude, but you smell."


----------



## TheFITZ

I am here in St Jean entering my 6th week and I have seen some creative jackings.  We are now accustomed to seeing Taliban Snowmans in our bunks.  Insecure kit up here seems to be a real problem with a few people in my plattoon.
Here are a couple of my faviourite memories so far though.
1)Left close march (start at 8 and work down, if you get it right you go to 7, if you get that right you go to 6 paces and so on) it constantly amazes me how many people don't know there left from there right.
2) Having a full fighting order inspection, one guy had taken a drink from his canteen.  Needless to say our MBDR found it and decided he really didn't need any water.  Try not to laugh well your buddys canteen is being emptied on his boots right in front of you.
3)Coming upstairs and finding a man made of clothes on top of a locker watching the hallway.
4)Watching your buddy salute with the left hand on his cap badge test.
5)Marking time for 20 minutes because one guy can't seem to keep his eyes forward.
6\)Watching boots fly by your head as they tell you they are coming along but they need more work.
7)An NCO finding laundry in a guys laundry bag during an inspection.  They now call him OS Laundry.

These are the only ones I could mention because I can't use names, however this is my personal favourite.
MCpl "Pte, do you play Monoply?"
Pte "No MCpl"
MCpl "Then how come there are train tracks on your shirts, I see reading and pensylvania, do you know what you are Pte?"
Pte "No MCpl"
MCpl "Your Baltic Avenue, a 2 dollar piece of crap(insert expletive)"

Hopefully I can post some pics of our Taliban Snowmans soon.

The Fitz


----------



## q_1966

- Push ups in our Gas Gear  
- After screwing up on ground and pick up arms, a few times, we did it continuously for about 20 min followed by double time and somemore ground and pickup arms after the class was over, Mbdr has us double time back to the mega (my legs feeling like jello at that point )
- Its pte bloggins birthday, hes turning 30...pushup position
- Drill class was infamously known as pushup class


----------



## BergD

1) When several of my Platoon-Mates lost their rifles and were written up
2) Calling the Master Bombedier a Master Corporol and him giving the "Kill from a far" speach
3) Forgetting to remove my mag when unloading my weapon, and ejecting the entire mag capacity through the ejection port, then realising I had not removed the mag.
4) Everyone getting fucked-over on inspection.


----------



## Rodahn

Sorry, I can't remember back that far.......


----------



## Zertz

-Garbage bin with tissue in it (To this day I could've sworn I didn't put it there)
-section garbage can not emptied by mistake, section garbage can kicked and section garbage spread throughout the hall
-18 hangers accidently forgotten and placed on top shelf of closet-esque unit
-not being issued a beret until Res BMQ week 3, and thus having to wear a field cap until then
-getting various staff comments on having a CADPAT small pack and ranger blanket

Those, and a billion other amusing events.


----------



## medaid

well since davidhmd got to share a CAP one, I'll have to share a BOTP2 one  ;D

Morning inspection after PT, everyone was fucking tired as hell and obviously we stank like pigs, and our rooms reflected so even with the windows open (with near freezing wind blowing in...nipple factor 1) so the Sgt goes through all the male rooms commenting on how much we f***ing smell and he walks into the female room and all the females were smelling like the Body Shop or various other nice smelling body lotions and creams...the Sgt looked kind of stunned...did his inspection and saw this paculiar little thing in the plug next to the door.

Sgt: WTF is THIS HERE LADIES?!
Candidate: It's an AIR FRESHNER SGT!
Sgt: JESUS an AIR FRESHNER! (laughs out loud and the inspection was over before it even began)  ;D


Another one...this one happened to me  : buddy had lost his mag, or so he thought when we were on taskings...at the end of the day he accidentally took my gore-tex with which I had my extra mag in my pocket, and handed that mag in. He was also a good guy and turned in my mags and EIS for me. Problem. Can you guess it?! Yup I had 1 mag missing. I was at building J at the time (this was at Gagetown) trying to print something out, and voila! My other buddy who doubled from our Qs to the building looked at me and said "DUDE! You had better get back! The MCpl is shitting A BRICK!" I was like WTF? I didnt do anything... so I ran back and the MCpl was like "Um....sorry about the mess on your bed...I thought you tried to sneak off a mag somewhere an I tore your kit apart...but good thing your buddy fessed up and gave me the one he thought was missing though" and walked away. I went into my room and holly fuck...my kit was all over the place with all my kit dumped onto my bed, every pocket unbuttoned and turned inside out  : that was my fondest memory...


----------



## CADPAT SOLDIER

Zertz said:
			
		

> -Garbage bin with tissue in it (To this day I could've sworn I didn't put it there)
> -section garbage can not emptied by mistake, section garbage can kicked and section garbage spread throughout the hall
> -18 hangers accidently forgotten and placed on top shelf of closet-esque unit
> -not being issued a beret until Res BMQ week 3, and thus having to wear a field cap until then
> -getting various staff comments on having a CADPAT small pack and ranger blanket
> 
> Those, and a billion other amusing events.



Who is this?
Bah, I think i was on course with you. 
Ghandi?
Hunt?


----------



## Zertz

Theres another good one, 9 out of 12 section members shaving their heads. Looking like Ghandi was fun.


----------



## BergD

We have a woman on our course thats about 60.


----------



## q_1966

Not a favourite, but the whole course except for like 3 got a counseling for a rusty weapon.

First week in the field in Farnham, weapons were cleaned the night before. It was pouring rain that morning, we march to the messhall and laid our weapons down on the grass, in the rain. After breakfast we came out and it had stopped raining, the sun was out and the weapons were rusting in wet grass. I looked in the Flash Suppresor, the inside was a wet orange, I quickly wiped it out with a cloth (the small issue cloths) only to reveal small spots of red rust inside and blue goo (i think it was from the CLP) on the tip of the barrel, inside the flash suppresor. It was teal greenish blue in colour making me shit a brick literally. I couldnt get it out with a cloth, and I didnt have a cotton swab so i couldnt get all the goo out. we all got a counseling for rust because they inspected the weapons inside and out, and that goo ended up hardening like a rock making it a bitch to clean off, without scratching the Blueing in our brand new C7-A2's.

Edited for Clarity


----------



## CADPAT SOLDIER

Sargeant "Pte.Bloggings Whats 14 times 6"
me- "I'm not sure Sargeant, I'm not that good at math, thats why I joined the army"
and then having all the course staffs eyes on me
Sargeant #2 "Are you Saying people in the army are incapible of doing math!!?!?"
Me- "I ment to Say 'Thats why I didn't join Artillery'"


----------



## BergD

LOL THAT'S HALRIOUS, Bloggins!


----------



## BootStrap

My roommates told me of something like that I did. That week we had been learning about patrols, and had, naturally, been practising our parade drills with the invisible C7s. So one of the buddies is on weapons sentry, so when he's revived to "patrol the corridors," up I get in my tartan boxers and some shirt and start doing the walk around barefoot with my arms at the ready position. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know."

All I remember is going back to bed.

"Another good memory was during the field ex. The Section to our right is being bumped, and from 50 ft out, a MCpl tosses a smoke grenade. It arcs over the head of the fireteam, hits the mound behind their trench, and rolls in.
"GAS GAS GAS MOTHERF*****S!!"
To this they pull out their gas masks not, but continue throwing blanks and words at the enemy force. Eventually, the smoke builds so thick, they can't breathe. They throw down their weapons and roll out of the trench, and are promptly machine gunned at point blank by their charging grenadier. Freaking awesome. They had green heads for days".

Hey Zartan I believe I was on your SQ course (4 Section Right?)... Anyway...
This story also involves you. You and a couple of the guy's went to a bar the weekend after the field ex (Week Three I believe) and you got so drunk that you got thrown out so you walk from the entrance to the other side of the street, do an about turn and lift your leg (Stork Like) and hold this position for about a minute, you then walk back towards cowboy and when he asks you what you are doing you reply "I' am trying to prove to that guy that I' am not drunk" (pointing towards the bouncer). You then fall over.

When cowboy told me this story the day after, I fell over laughing (no seriously I couldn't stop for like two minutes, remember I was the guy who laughed at practically everything), It still brings tears to my eyes whenever I think about it.

 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


----------



## BootStrap

Oh Yeah to add:

1.) The weekend before the field ex we were staying up all night getting drunk and watching movies in the rec room and one of the guy's (Lets call him Bloggins) had to go to the washroom but instead of going to the washroom he walks to a window and takes a wizz out of the third story window (TWICE) the second time one of our Mcpl's was in the parking lot below (good thing he didn't see bloggins relieving himself out of the window).

2.) Bloggins teabagging a drunk engineer corporal.
3.) This was from our BMQ... We got the second weekend off so after getting some beer, we got drunk (this was my first time getting drunk) so on of the guy's from my section tells me I had too much to drink so he helps me get to my room. But Instead of going to my dorm. I walked towards a dorm belonging to some of the reg force guys and I proceeded to knock on this door for about three minutes, until my buddy tells me it's not my dorm so he helps me towards mine and I proceeded to knock on the door for about a good two to three minutes when my buddy asks me If I have a key I respond "yes" and show him the key. I then continue to knock on the door for another five minutes until one of my roomates opeans the door.


----------



## b_frovich

-farting while marching
-having the section 2 i/c ask while we were marching yell "Hey F*****H, I heard you were got caught whackin off in the showers!"
(not true by the way haha)
-trying not to laugh on inspections
-OH damn i almost forgot...one day on the parade square in shilo, we were practicing wheeling and stuff, and the instructor was on the right of the 3 ranks, walking counter-clockwise around the parade square, and he smashed his face on the flagpole..hahaha good times


----------



## andpro

During NBCDW class 
Sgt: Pte what is the acronym used for the different levels of readiness during an attack? (MOPP)
Pte A: Ummmm..... BILL?  

during the same class: 
Sgt: what is one possable vector for a chemical attack? 
Pte B: Ummmm ..... fish?


----------



## Jaydub

The previous day's inspection, someone had forgot to pack their wool socks with their gear.  The whole course got reamed out and basically warned that there would be hell to pay if such a careless mistake were to occur again.

The next day, right before inspection, I was tasked by the course senior to check everyone's gear to ensure that everyone had their wool socks.  I checked everyone's stuff expect mine, because I hadn't unpacked them from the day before and was sure they were still there.

Guess who didn't have their wool socks...  The course was reamed harder than before, and I wasn't a very popular guy for the next couple days.

Whatever the hell happened to those socks remains a mystery to me, even to this day.


----------



## CADPAT SOLDIER

b_frovich said:
			
		

> -farting while marching
> -having the section 2 i/c ask while we were marching yell "Hey F*****H, I heard you were got caught whackin off in the showers!"
> (not true by the way haha)
> -trying not to laugh on inspections
> -OH damn i almost forgot...one day on the parade square in shilo, we were practicing wheeling and stuff, and the instructor was on the right of the 3 ranks, walking counter-clockwise around the parade square, and he smashed his face on the flagpole..hahaha good times



Why would you block out your name Frovich? It's in your screen name lol.

Now I have to tell Brett laydoan and Nick Mieln and all those guys including all the hot chicks from choir you got caught wacking off in the Showers, 
Plus stop telling my friends to join Sigs, I found them first and they belong to the useful part of the army now.


----------



## Cardstonkid

A recruit of limited verbal capacity was asking questions about a talk the CO had given all the recruits.In his attempts to call say the Officer's Rank he called the course CO a Colon! Of course he meant Lt. Colonel The Sgt. was in shock and couldn't speak! Fortunately the course CO had already left the room.


----------



## MdB

Morning inspection, my roommate answers to the sergeant without mentionning his rank at the end of the sentence, here's the following:
Sgt: Yes, what?
Ocdt: Yes.
Sgt: Yes, what!? Am I a dog??
Ocdt: Yes.
Sgt: What!?
Ocdt: Uh, no. I mean, no Sgt.

Hmmm, hard not to laugh out loud when you're next door and next to be inspected.

Last week highlight while in Farnham. In the evening, we were in 10-man tents and chilling out. One guy is telling us about his best sex with a girl. And he's being particularly explicit and it's pretty horny. He was almost at the end of his story when someone is entering the tent. Because, people were coming and going, we don't really realise who it is when we turn our head and there is in front of us the course commander (Cpt). We all stop speaking in a weird kind of way. There's like a full 3-4 second of silence when the Cpt asks us what we're talking about. Another guy answers right away we were discussing about the day and that kind of stuff. When he left, we were so laughing out loud!! Really a good moment.


----------



## Trooper Hale

MdB said:
			
		

> Last week highlight while in Farnham. In the evening, we were in 10-man tents and chilling out. One guy is telling us about his best sex with a girl. And he's being particularly explicit and it's pretty horny. He was almost at the end of his story when someone is entering the tent. Because, people were coming and going, we don't really realise who it is when we turn our head and there is in front of us the course commander (Cpt). We all stop speaking in a weird kind of way. There's like a full 3-4 second of silence when the Cpt asks us what we're talking about. Another guy answers right away we were discussing about the day and that kind of stuff. When he left, we were so laughing out loud!! Really a good moment.



Its when the boss walks in and start telling you about his own personal sexcapades that things get humourous. We got a Sir over here who'll walk in, sit down and before you know it start telling you stories. I'd follow that man anywhere, if only to find out if he's serious about what he tells us about!


----------



## Desert Fox

On my QL2 we had lockers where we kept our kit, and the staff would come around and enusre we always locked them. One day we had the pleasure of doing some "show parades" and one member managed to forgot to lock his locker. We got sent down with the near impossible task of getting changed into PT kit and being back on the parade square in somthing like 5min.... we get down to our lockers and his is cleaned out, they took everything, the lock itself as well... so within the course we managed to pull together a come up with a set of PT gear for him, the shoes where 2 sizes to small. the shorts came from the biggest guy on the course and pratically dragged, while the t-shirt was a filthy smelly thing some one forget to take home and wash.... we managed to make the timing, or we were close enough that the staff was impressed by our drive..... The ended up dickin him around before letting him have his kit back, but it was a good laugh none the less....


----------



## BDTyre

There's been some pretty good ones and I'm only about half way through a weekend course.

One night, at about 0300 apparently a drunken uni student showed up at the armoury and tried to get in.  The members of my section who were on picket were polite enough in trying to get him to leave, but once he saw the rifles, he stopped midsentence and told the guys to "take whatever they wanted."

I also got accused of being a metrosexual when my bright red, licorice scented soap was discovered on morning inspection.

At the end of one weekend, my sec. cmdr stated that the Mark IIIs looked good with spandex, and we should wear them to a fetish club but if we see him there, we don't know him.

While being taught our navigation skills, the instructor revealed that on one course, a recruit had actually asked if the training area had the grid marked out.  The instructor actually told him no!  (If it was me, I would have told him, no, it has to be done when we get there, so he gets to carry the grid reference squares).

But the best has to be learning about CF General Safety Program and meeting our course mascto, Maj General Safety Program, a sock puppet of senior officer rank.  He was given to the tender hands of 3 Section, and his aide had to bring the General over to say hello to the entire course staff.  All of a sudden we hear "He's a Major General, he sounds more aggressive than that!"  And the course senior and the aide had to ensure a plate was grabbed for the General and that the General had eaten.


----------



## medic269

Practicing left and right inclines on the march:

MCpl:  "Leeeeeeeft incline!"

Troops:  *check pivot shuffle shuffle bump bump turn fall etc...*

MCpl:  "Halt halt halt!!!!!!  Look around troops what formation are you in?!?!"

Troops:  Gaze around like lost deer.  "Not sure MCpl!"

MCpl:  "A gaggle F**K!!!!!!"

Same MCpl addressing a recruit laughing in ranks:

MCpl:  "What's so f***ing funny Bloggins?  I'll march you around this parade square 'til you disappear inside your own arsehole!!!"


----------



## medaid

So...on my BOTP2 cours (do they still have that?) I had hurriedly bought herbal essence shampoo the night before inspection. So my Sect Comd walks in during inspection, a nice laid back kind of guy, takes one look into my drawer...and says


Sgt: Uh....what the hell is that Mr.XXXX?
Me: It's my soap, toothbrush...
Sgt: I KNOW what's HERE...but I want to know WHAT THE HELL IS THIS! (Holds up a the herbal essence)
Me: It's my shampoo Sgt.
Sgt: *sigh* My....you do like smelling pretty dont you?! 
Me: All for my troops Sgt.
Sgt: *laughs* (walks out the door without inspecting the rest of my Section)


----------



## BDTyre

Okay, so for whatever reason I tend to average between 46 and 51 seconds on hand loading a mag.  I don't know why, I just tend to get a lot of jams, at least with the dummy rounds.

So everyone was fairly impressed when one timing was 52 seconds and the very next timing, only a minute or so later, was down to 31 seconds.  Now if only I can do that on my test!

Rumour is that someone in the platoon did 27 seconds.


----------



## one_speed

okay, Comm Res School Shilo spring 2006 (some of the best instructors I have come across... ever...mil and civi)

1) C7 weapons test - firing on a moving target L to R, MCpl examining me (I'm a NO)

Me - " first thing I would do Master Corporal is proceed from left to right and as I passed my patient  I would squeeze the trigger to fire a round, following though to the right"

MCpl - "what was that"

Me - " umm.. I would proceed from the left, and as I passed my patient I would fire a round, following through to the right.

MC pl - "are your sure that is what you would do ?"

Me - (shaking) " yes Master Corporal, I'd proceed from left to right, firing my rifle as I passed my pateint, following through to the right.

MCpl - Holy  , remind me never to come to your emergency if I am sick.


Honestly, anybody that spent any time in the B hall at the Regional ER would understand.  really...


----------



## sober_ruski

one_speed said:
			
		

> okay, Comm Res School Shilo spring 2006 (some of the best instructors I have come across... ever...mil and civi)



Casey?


----------



## R933ex

Favorite memory Humm. Militia course in 1989. Had a young guy on the course who wanted to be a medic, wasn't to smart though. During first aid training our warrant, who also happened to be a medic kept picking on this poor lad to do demonstrations etc. One day we were doing the primary survey and this is what happened.

Warrant: "Bloggins when doing the head tilt chin lift what are you looking for?"
Bloggins: <As quiet as a mouse> " Objects Warrant."
Warrant: "What was that the course didn't hear you!"
Bloggins: "Objects Warrant"
Warrant: "Gonads Bloggins Gonads "
Bloggins: <Louder voice that could be heard for miles away> "Gonads, Warrant you check their throat for Gonads!"
Warrant: <trying not to laugh> "Bloggins what type of soldier puts gonads down their throat?" 
Bloggins: "The Artillery does Warrant!"

Half the course was artillery and this guy went on to do a lot of work with the artillery as a medic.


----------



## BDTyre

Just recently had another memorable experience...nearly being hit by a falling tree when the wind kicked up.  And sleeping in an arctic tent with liners that didn't quite line up...no stove or lantern for us.  And having to run 1km up hill in the snow because buddy lost his fifth mag on a hillside in Chilliwack.  We actually found it in less than five minutes.


----------



## joonrooj

Last weekend on morning inspection:

Sgt. "Smith": DO YOU WANT TO KNOCK ME OUT PRIVATE?!
Pte. Bloggins: No Sgt.
Sgt. Smith: THEN BRUSH YOUR GODDAMN TEETH!
Pte. Bloggins: I did Sgt.
Sgt. Smith: THEN WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE SOMEONE TOOK A S*** IN YOUR MOUTH?!
Pte. Bloggins: .....


----------



## BDTyre

And I'm sure I will get mocked/jacked for this one (since neither happened at the time)...dropping my gas mask while deconning in the gas hut.  I still managed to get it picked up and back on without once inhaling or opening my eyes.  Still felt a bit of the effects though.


----------



## joonrooj

(During hollow square rifle drill, everyone is standing easy)
Sgt: WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME BLOGGINS? DO YOU LIKE ME?
Bloggins: I like you as a Sergeant, Sergeant.
Sgt: That is the best answer that I've heard. (At this point he was as close to smiling as we've ever seen him.)

(During inspection)
Sgt: Why do you smell so bad? Did you use your deodorant this morning?
Bloggins (not the same one): No Sgt.
Sgt (going through locker): Why not Bloggins? You've got an Old Spice right here, smells good too, are you an Old Spice kind of guy Bloggins?
Bloggins: Yes Sgt.
Sgt: Oh look here is some Old Spice shampoo too, you get a lot of action with this?
Bloggins: N-Yes Sgt.
Sgt: Yes? You do get a lot of action?
Bloggins: No Sgt?
Sgt: You get a lot of action or a lot of palmela?
Bloggins: Palmela Sgt.
Sgt: You get lots of Palmela and no action?
Bloggins (completely confused right now) : No Sgt?
Sgt: Even Palmela doesn't like you.
Bloggins: Yes Sgt.

I don't remember the whole conversation, but this was what we pieced together at lunch (Shepherd's Pie )


----------



## tree hugger

On BOTC I - I kept burning myself on my iron.  My PO2 took my iron away from me so I wouldn't do anymore damage.

On BOTC II - In recent inspections, our PO2 kept dinging a room down the hall for dusty floors.  In order to remedy this the girls used pledge (furniture polish) on their floor.  The next morning, the PO2 comes in slides half way through the room and almost goes tits-up.  Many bad words followed.

On MARS II - (always the same PO2), during inspection, my PO2 was inspecting my dress shirts.  She asks me if I ironed them.  I felt confident so I said, "No PO, I used Downey wrinkle releaser!"  

On MARS II - I wanted to try something new for inspections.  The correct way to present yourself for inspection was, "NCdt Bloggins, 007 (last three of SN), ready for inspection PO!"  I tried, "NCdt Bloggins, double-o-seven, ready for inspection PO!"  She couldn't keep a straight face and I didn't get jacked.

On BOTC I - In our sister division, after a ruck march the medics were doing a foot check.  The instructors noticed that a couple of girls had their toenails painted red.  They got a lecture on divisional uniformity.  Next time out the field after a ruck march and during a foot check, the instructors were pleased that everyone in the division had their toe nails painted red.


----------



## rmacqueen

tree hugger said:
			
		

> On BOTC I - I kept burning myself on my iron.  My PO2 took my iron away from me so I wouldn't do anymore damage.


You are supposed to take off your uniform before ironing it. ;D


----------



## tree hugger

Well, it was week 1.  Can't expect me to know everything right away....


----------



## Trooper Hale

Haha, i remember that same sort of thing
Old Mate No.1 - "You've got a crease there, hold still..."
Old Mate No.2 - "Steady, i'm wearing the bloody thing!"
Old Mate No.1 - "You'll be right and-"
Old mate No.2 - Extended Beeb followed by swinging of fists

My favorite was always walking into a room, seeing someone in cam's in front of the mirror with their iron. You always knew it wouldnt work out (and for all the good it did them so did they) but you didnt want to tell them.


----------



## career_radio-checker

tree hugger said:
			
		

> On BOTC I - I kept burning myself on my iron.  My PO2 took my iron away from me so I wouldn't do anymore damage.



You see? That's why you don't answer your phone while ironing. It can be confusing  ;D


----------



## medaid

tree hugger said:
			
		

> On BOTC I - I kept burning myself on my iron.  My PO2 took my iron away from me so I wouldn't do anymore damage.
> 
> On BOTC II - In recent inspections, our PO2 kept dinging a room down the hall for dusty floors.  In order to remedy this the girls used pledge (furniture polish) on their floor.  The next morning, the PO2 comes in slides half way through the room and almost goes tits-up.  Many bad words followed.
> 
> On MARS II - (always the same PO2), during inspection, my PO2 was inspecting my dress shirts.  She asks me if I ironed them.  I felt confident so I said, "No PO, I used Downey wrinkle releaser!"
> 
> On MARS II - I wanted to try something new for inspections.  The correct way to present yourself for inspection was, "NCdt Bloggins, 007 (last three of SN), ready for inspection PO!"  I tried, "NCdt Bloggins, double-o-seven, ready for inspection PO!"  She couldn't keep a straight face and I didn't get jacked.
> 
> On BOTC I - In our sister division, after a ruck march the medics were doing a foot check.  The instructors noticed that a couple of girls had their toenails painted red.  They got a lecture on divisional uniformity.  Next time out the field after a ruck march and during a foot check, the instructors were pleased that everyone in the division had their toe nails painted red.




muahahahaha that is funny...I wish I had 0-0-7 as my last three  ;D


----------



## sgtdixon

Boot Strap, PteAlex, Zartan too i guess , hows it going boys, The King of 2section BMQ 0603 here... you know who I am
Where to start...



			
				Pte. Alex said:
			
		

> 5. doing drill with invisible rifles to waste time in front of the armories and having all the staff crack up watching us struggle to do it



Me: MCpl, If were doing Invisible Drill with Imaginary Rifles, Are We Taking Imaginary Busses Back to garrison tonight?
MCpl: No Dixon, your f****** Running back to the base
Me: Woohoo MCpl...




			
				BootStrap said:
			
		

> Oh Yeah to add:
> 
> 1.) The weekend before the field ex we were staying up all night getting drunk and watching movies in the rec room and one of the guy's (Lets call him Bloggins) had to go to the washroom but instead of going to the washroom he walks to a window and takes a wizz out of the third story window (TWICE) the second time one of our Mcpl's was in the parking lot below (good thing he didn't see bloggins relieving himself out of the window).



Oh the Certain MP MCpl from Calgary knew exactly who and what it was...

MCpl yelling up to window: That Better Be Rain Bloggins!
A Certain Pte: Call it What you Want MCpl, were all just lucky i made it as far as the windows.

- Getting 12 people hooked on smokes and about 8 people on chew by the end of BMQ/SQ
-"Hey Dixon is that Butt Can supposed to smoke like that?"
My Rss Trg Sgt from my Home unit "Dixon, your one messed up feller"
"Oh you dont know the half of it Sgt"

Digging an Entire Stage 6 C6 Trench Myself

2LT: Dixon, Why is your Prone Position all contorted behind your C6"
Me: Really Hard to go Prone with a Rock Hard Bone, Sir
2Lt: you think its hard now, Im gonna let you toss grenades this afternoon! 

Replacing Master Bombadier with Mister Belveder after 4 days of no sleep

Being Section Senior and Crse Senior and the pride I felt when everyone had their shat together and we got platoon wide praise

Johnstons 18day stint as Crse Senior

"The Horizontal Stash", "My Target Aperture on you Just Hit Atomel!", "No you can't wear a CADPAT Manthong on Stand-to"



BMQ/SQ 0603, what a damned fine time... Double Pene 1 and 2 back to back this summer here comes the weird once again


----------



## BootStrap

"Getting 12 people hooked on smokes and about 8 people on *chew* by the end of BMQ/SQ"
I know I was one of them you wank... ;D ;D

But anyway it's good to see that you are doing good.


----------



## sgtdixon

BootStrap said:
			
		

> "Getting 12 people hooked on smokes and about 8 people on *chew* by the end of BMQ/SQ"
> I know I was one of them you wank... ;D ;D
> 
> But anyway it's good to see that you are doing good.



Oh Im doing quite well these days, just biding my time and training til i can get on a tour.
I aim to get at least 5 folks on the dip during the BTE in march....


----------



## Raxmaster

1. Bloggins 1 and 2 start laughing at the Master Seaman. MS makes them 'pump', they laugh harder, vicious cycle.
2. Accidentally calling a P1 a corporal
3. It was right after the sex ed class they gave us so of course everyone got a condomn from the people that taught it. I forgot to put mine away and therefore it was still on the desk. P1 walks in and asks, you plan on using that? Me not wanting to get in trouble said 'no PO' so he swiped it.
4. A MS who literally sang his orders, I cracked up everytime he gave drill.
5. Final practice for Grad parade, a close order march was called. I was in the front rank and proceeded forward. Then for some strange reason I did a right dress when the chief ordered a close order march (bad day trust me!). 
6. Seeing someone puke on the ceiling and the next morning we forgot to clean it. MS never noticed it but couldn't figure out why it reeked outside the bathroom!
8. Our barracks when they decided to let us go on fourth weekend.
9. MS catching me for lint on my beret, I asked him to show me the speck. The offending speck had to be searched and searched until eventually he found something that would barely be noticed with a microscope. Bad night before so I said 'MS if that's lint then your beret is a refugee camp for the homeless lint' all I can say was I pumped until my arms nearly fell off that day.
10. Breathing in the gas hut air when we were told specifically not to do it.
11. We came to attantion when the MS approached, as I snapped to attention I ripped a huge fart and the entire platoon was laughing. The MS didn't like that much so we were pumping again.
12. The civilian PT instuctors who thought they were tough when they acted like the instructors, we just laughed at them.
13. Mr. Macho wasn't so macho when we found out he couldn't swim!
14. A recruit called his rifle the name of a girl from another section. The MS burst into the room during weapons class and yelled at the top of his lungs "Bloggins named his rifle Bloggette!!!" and stormed out.
15. The singing MS who yelled "with a five round magazine Lllllooooooooooaaaaaddddaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!" Yeah the last part was usually about 16 syllables or more.
16. A recruit fell asleep during class so the MS literally jumped up ontop of the desk grabbed the guy's shoulder and yelled "WAKE UP PRETTY!!!"


----------



## Zertz

*Weapon drops.*

Get a grip on your canteen.


----------



## Cardstonkid

On our first PO check the course officer said there would be serious consequences if anyone failed the test. 10 out of 37 failed! There was obviously something wrong so the course staff took the test. Some of the staff failed the test. There were no serious consequences. : We all had to retake an improved version of the test. All passed, even the staff


----------



## sober_ruski

Zertz said:
			
		

> *Weapon drops.*
> 
> Get a grip on your canteen.



Someone got lucky there


----------



## x-grunt

Raxmaster said:
			
		

> 6. *Seeing someone puke on the ceiling* and the next morning we forgot to clean it. MS never noticed it but couldn't figure out why it reeked outside the bathroom!


----------



## Samsquanch

-Having a Master Bombadier throw pencils down the hall while we were standing at attention to see who would get wandering eyes
-Watching 3 guys puke during morning PT
-Pte Bloggins calling a Master Corporal, Maam by accident

to be continued


----------



## Springroll

-doing TOPO in the swamps of St Bruno
-friday nights after week 4
-all of Normandy week
-party platoon(long story short, 2 guys in coveralls dancing around the floor)


----------



## Zertz

sober_ruski said:
			
		

> Someone got lucky there



The candidates on my course started to say that to try and slide under the staff radar, eventually it became an in joke  .


----------



## Black Watch

Springroll said:
			
		

> -doing TOPO in the swamps of St Bruno


we did SAR over there 3 weeks ago...Civilian people stole the dummy


----------



## kielbam

Guy in my section calling a Master Corporal a "Flight Sergeant"...wow

I was taking a leak in the washrooms 20 meters away and heard the shit hit the fan.

Section commander yelling "Holy Fuck" at every possible opportunity.


----------



## BDTyre

Hmmm..."GAS GAS GAS" while I was in the middle of doing my business in the bathroom.


----------



## career_radio-checker

Hearing someone in the loo relieving himself, sounding them off like he was doing pushups:

One for the CO.... One for the Seargent.... One for 4 Plt... One for the QUEEEEEEEEEENNNNN.


----------



## rmacqueen

Giving my parents a tour of the base after Grad just as a fire drill was taking place for one of the platoons, some of who had obviously been having a shower when it happened.


----------



## Zell_Dietrich

First day,  they told everyone that if you didn't know rank structure to simply call an instructor staff.  Fair enough right?  One of the instructors came up to me, while walking reading a piece of paper which covered his slip on, and asked my name.  I answered "I am Ocdt XXX Staff".  He,  without moving the paper, started to freak out and for two minutes I heard how I was never to cal him staff.  He then moved to yell at someone else and as he turned I saw his rank and I said "Thank you MCpl."  He stopped in his tracks and looked at me confused and then looked at his paper and "clued in" that while I may be 'technically an officer' I still lack omniscience.

During a fire drill,  I throw on my stuff (cold outside) and start running when an instructor stopped me and started yelling at me.  He has a rather unique accent I've never heard before and I don't understand an eighth of what he says.  If you remember charlie brown's teacher "whaa waa waa waa".  For 5 minutes he yelled at me and I have NO clue what he was saying.     

On my course there is an expression I hear everone saying "If the army wanted you to have a moustache, they would have issued you one".   ;D


----------



## aesop081

My favorite Basic trg memory.......

the bus ride away from St-Jean after the course

9308, seems so long ago


----------



## patrick666

So far, after a day at the firing range during -30 blizzards our staff took us out to some woods on the outskirts of Farnham. They had us put on our white camoflauge, balaclavas and mukluks included, then explained what they wanted us to do. The instructor would stand on the road outside of the wood and try to spot us creeping, sneaking through the snow. I spent about 40 mintues going 20metres and it was so much damn fun until the guy beside me gave the position away. It was still a lot of fun, we also built improvised shelters while waiting for the relays to finish at the range. 

It's all been quite the experience. I can't wait to get to Gagetown!

"You suck a lot." - Mcpl Arsenault. 

I go to Farnham again for the 11th and 12th week and then Grad week and I'm out of here! Woohoo! I can't wait for that bus... ugh.. just can't wait. 

Cheers


----------



## career_radio-checker

CDN Aviator said:
			
		

> My favorite Basic trg memory.......
> 
> the bus ride away from St-Jean after the course
> 
> 9308, seems so long ago



Had the same feeling leaving Wainwright and Shilo, the left and right arm-pits of Canada.  ;D


----------



## PMedMoe

Cornwallis 8645, days of the tri-service uniform......I know, some kid's going to say "What's that??" :

1.  The night before the Commandant's inspection, we're going over everything to make it nice and neat, new name strips on PT pack, etc.
The next day, the Commandant does his inspection with his entourage, two officers linger in my (Army) and my bunk mate's (Air Force) bed space for a bit.  They are looking over our kit, back and forth until one says "Oh, I see, she's Army and she's Air Force, that's why they're different. (Air Force had wedge and bowler, Army had beret and bowler).  After the inspection, my bunk mate and I look at our stuff and then we notice that the name tape on my PT pack is upside down!!

2.  Leaving Cornwallis owing about 150 push ups (GD overcoat!!)

3.  On an inspection in Borden, we took all the beds in the room apart so we could remove them to wax the floors.  The MCpl comes in, does the inspection and the second he steps out the door, a bed collapses.  He sticks his head back in and says "Hope someone had fun in there last night!!"


----------



## ArmyGuy99

During the div cmd's Inspection:

Sgt: Jesus what the heck is that?? ( While looking at a huge black stain on the fire blanket 15 min till inspection)

Pte: Boot polish sgt.  I got some boot polish on the fire blanket this morning while I did my boots

Sgt: What the............ Ok, don't worry about it, just own up to it and take it like a man

Pte: Yes sgt. ( very nervous)

Sgt: Don't worry, you're all wired up, take it easy and relax, everything will be all right

Pte: Yes sgt. ( Still nervous)

Sgt: Nah your .................... ( and walks away)

The poor guy didn't think it was funny then, but we sure did.  It all ended well though, overall it was a good inspection.


----------



## joonrooj

I am planning on adding some more but I figure it might be best until the actual course is finished...


----------



## kielbam

How about a joker in my platoon saluting the course officer while he was taking a leak in the washroom...  :warstory:


----------



## Trooper Hale

Was he then beaten to death by his staff? If i'd done that at Recruit training i'd make sure my affairs were in order.


----------



## kielbam

No apparently not, the officer supposedly told some of the staff about it but nothing came out of it.

Mind you, it might be hard to interpret from my previous post but it was the Officer who has taking a leak and he walked in, Saluted him then walked out. Apparently all he got was a "holy f*** what the hell are you doing?"


----------



## Scratch_043

kielbam said:
			
		

> No apparently not, the officer supposedly told some of the staff about it but nothing came out of it.
> 
> Mind you, it might be hard to interpret from my previous post but it was the Officer who has taking a leak and he walked in, Saluted him then walked out. Apparently all he got was a "holy f*** what the hell are you doing?"


There have been a few stories in various threads like this one. The only difference between those, and this one, is 'joker' did it on purpose, to get a laugh (unless I read that post wrong), and it was out of nervousness that the Pvt. Saluted, fearing the consequences of NOT saluting.


----------



## Samsquanch

Private in my section ran out of razors and decided to skip the morning shave. At 1700 it showed. He got jacked about 3 times before Staff sent him downstairs to shave. Only... he didn't tell them about the no razor situation. After an eternity in the push-up position I was sent downstairs to check on Bloggins. He was shaving with his Gerber and had blood leaking down his neck and face. I had to run upstairs to grab my personal razor and explain the situation with a straight face before leaving.


----------



## Seyek

First night at BMQ - Having our sergeant come to introduce himself and see my buddy unrolling a blue civie bag onto the cot. Sgt stands there for a second, then belts out 'What the f--- do you think you're doing?!' only to have buddy reply that he wasn't issued a sleeping bag. Then the rest of the section pipes in about their missing kit such as no combat boots, no bush hats, no tac vests, dog tags, military IDs, uniforms that were literraly see through.

 Filling out the missing kit list so that all the stuff we're missing can be issued to us, going over it with the sergeant to make sure everything was in order and I could actually get a set of webbing (since it had been made clear we weren't going to get tac vests, but apparently the army felt it was unnecessary to issue me even webbing). We get to the place, I get a package with combat gloves. Oh, they tossed me another butt pack, which I already had. So I resorted to putting both on my cot with the canteen, gas mask, and KFS for inspection.

 Carrying the bayonet in my left cargo pocket on the pants due to a lack of webbing and/or tac vest until the pocket on two pairs of pants were ripped apart and I was told to leave it in my barracks box.

 Going through BMQ/SQ without webbing or a tac vest.
 Having a sergeant yell at us when we were at the canex looking through the CPgear catalogue that the army would issue us with everything we needed (apparently loading bearing kit is no longer needed by the infantry?)

 Having my 2IC lend me his tac-vest while we're learning weapon drills, then walking around between classes having recuits from other platoons snapping to attention and calling room because the 2ICs rank slip on was on the left shoulder of said tac-vest.

 Holding the door open for the platoon officer when he's coming out of a building while we're all on a few minutes of break between classes, and realizing that I'm the only noticing he's coming out and therefore have to say group and salute, but I'm holding the door with my right hand. After a second of debating, I snapped to attention, saluted, and positioned my body so that my right foot would hold the door open. I was rather proud of myself at the time.

 Oh! Another great one! Having my Elcan loose and fall off the rifle (beginning of BMQ, I didn't want to do anything lest I mess up the sight or rifle) and then having an instructor, who's a weapons tech, conclude that the mounting had worn down and couldn't stay on the rifle after spending ten minutes trying to put it on. Later on, during a break, I took it out, and screwed it back onto the rifle. Never got loose or fell off again, funny that.


----------



## Seyek

Here's another one, though it was pre-BMQ and not actually BMQ/SQ. We were in the SHARP class, there's 22 of us, the scenario is a member places pornographic images of women in the showers. Is this sexual harassment? Naturally, we all raise our hands. Well, 21 of us did. 1 person didn't, ironically, she was the only girl there.


----------



## BDTyre

Okay, these are from SQ not BMQ....

Ruck marching past two tour buses in Vancouver that I'm pretty sure were Christina Aguilera's.

While on a break, having our MCpl explaining what the rubber flanges in the wheel well of the G-Wagon feel like... ;D

Playing ball hockey with one team in white plastic hard hats that had no straps and kept falling off.  We eventually ended up stuffing white napkins into our helmets.

Being course senior and making every timing and getting us out nearly two hours early.

The platoon commander "sneaking" me extra food because he thinks I'm too small.  Related to that, being "ordered" to eat more and get seconds by the course staff (although this happened on BMQ as well).


----------



## reccecrewman

Oh yes......... A drill class in the big HD4 drill hall at CFLRS.  Our platoon Sergeant calling us out one at a time to recieve an "award" (We were practising falling out of the ranks to go to the front and recieve an "award, promotion etc.")  The Sergeant calls out a name, buddy comes to attention, and comes marching up to the front looking like a dog @#!$ing a football. The Sergeant waits until he's almost smack in the centre of the formation and roars out "STOP!" Buddy freezes instantly.......... arms still in the marching position they were in when he got told to stop.  The Sergeant tells him "Go back and try it again.......... NOW!"  Well, doesn't buddy start marching back to his position........... *BACKWARDS!* I swear you've never seen something so funny in your life........ A scared crapless Private marching backwards to his position in the platoon.  

Needless to say, the Sergeant, after picking up his jaw off the ground, just shook his head and I heard him mumble something about "I thought I'd seen everything in 17 years and yet each new platoon I instruct, at least _one_ Private shows me I ain't seen sh**!"

Regards


----------



## BDTyre

The grad parade.

What was planned: a full social get-together in the officer's mess with food and drink
What happened: "Mom, I think there's some cookies left over from our lunch in the gym."

Many things transpired to prevent our social from happening, and it was the fault of no one -staff or student- on the course.


----------



## m410

So there I was...

On QL2 at the Vokes Range biv site in Chilliwack.  Throughout the day we had managed to break at least 2 lanterns accidently by dropping them, etc.  Our course 2IC, the crustiest sergeant in NATO, gets us all together and jacks us hard for almost 5 minutes.  We're a bit stunned, and then he gets in the MLVW to drive up to the range shack.  While turning the truck around he manages to back over 4 lanterns in their cases, destroying 3 of them.

He gets out, looks, exclaims "Awww ^#@#$%#!", gets in the truck, and drives off.


----------



## Samsquanch

m410 that is priceless....  ;D


----------



## harry8422

i would have been on the ground laughing


----------



## Catamaran22

FYI. More BMQ notes at: http://www3.telus.net/helper33/basic  [Scroll to bottom]  A part of website: http://www3.telus.net/helper33


----------



## Grunt

SQ field ex in shilo 2004 (august). :warstory:

Me and my fireteam partner could barely see anything without our glasses, and on the bug out we got gassed, our masks ended up fogging up, and it was dark and misty out .  The whole platoon ended up bugging out and we were left behind trying to find the C6 and radio, were all groping around in the dark with our fogged up masks for the radio and C6, 2IC comes running up yelling along the lines of, WTF is wrong, get the ____ over here! ,Us "were trying to find the radio cpl! *groping around in the dark for the radio and C6* ;D,  Us, we cant see cpl!  Cpl starts yelling to the rest of the section SOME ONE GET UP HERE AND HELP THESE TWO BLIND MICE!!!


----------



## DONT_PANIC

My roomate's sister aparently knew our section i/c's girlfriend.  So naturally, my roomate gets a picture, and puts it in his picture frame next to his bed.  The next morning, the master seaman comes in for inspection and eventually sees it.  After a few seconds of the scariest silence of my life, he decides that he wants my roomate to make sure he has the picture on him at all times.  When in class, eating or on the range he is to have the picture out infront of him.


----------



## 1RNBR

Reserve BMQ in Base Gagetown building M5, morning inspection Mcpl getting pissed and jackin a guy up for having garbage in the garbage can, and kicking it so hard it hit the wall and bounced back and hit him in the face, giving him a bloody nose and a cut lip, and us then having to do push ups, cuz the garbage can was not securely in place  ??? oh well good times


----------



## Zell_Dietrich

On the AN PRC 521 radio power lecture,  there were a few typos... one of which had this small hand held radio broadcasting 30,000 MHz to 80,000 MHz.

This was around the time we got the lecture on how the radio is the most powerfull piece of kit you'll have in the field.  All I could think of (being sleep deprived) was at 80,000 MHz it would kill anyone within a 4 Km area.  I might have the numbers off on that one,  but still it would be a suicide radio-operation.   

"Zero this is ... AAGGGHHH"  

I approched the instructor afterwards,  and we had a good chuckel about Gamma radiation.


----------



## career_radio-checker

Zell_Dietrich said:
			
		

> "Zero this is ... AAGGGHHH"



I had a good chuckle reading that one


----------



## Hawk

Now from one of the "old girls"!

You people make my BMQ sound tame, but this was way back in the dark ages when Cornwallis was a Navy New Entry Training Base - and we were in New Entry Training.

Conestoga 33 - there'd never been a class like us before (so they told us) and probably none like us afterwards. Keep in mind, this was in the days when girls were "ladies" complete with white gloves.

*The time we were being punished with a march for 2 hours around the base ("WRENS don't double"). When we got back we were all in our rec space and Able Wren N***** came limping in with her slippers on. One of our people said"Gee AB N*****, we really enjoyed our walk tonight, do you think you could take us another time?" I thought AB N***** would hit her!!

*The time a Wren who was to be class leader the next day and wasn't sure of the drill asked another one to help her-after lights out. Wren 1 and Wren 2 were doing drill in the midde of the cabin in their blue Pusser PJ's when AB N***** walked in. All I saw from my bunk was bare legs heading in 2 directions as they dove into their bunks. 2 hours extra work and drill for 5 days for both of them.

*The time we were on punishment weeding and watering the flower beds and H**** soaked an Upper Deck Wren in civillian clothes heading out on a date.

*We had Navy League and Sea Cadets there for summer training, and someone told them all the women on the base were officers. They saluted us and we returned the salutes-can't be inpolite! We got s--- and they got s---! They had more Time In than we did!

*Someone ran black lace panties up the flag pole at the Parade Square. "One minute to 8:00, Sir" and Commander Paul looked up the flag pole, as was his habit. He visibly staggered backward. We though the poor man was having a heart attack. There was an inquisition in Wren Block - but they hadn't come from our block. I met the guilty party years later!

It was a good time. I'm still friends with some of those people. We have some amazing memories- I could go on and on, but I won't for now!


Hawk


----------



## joonrooj

Gas hut:
Pte. on-a-holiday came back from Cuba with a sunburn all over his body with tan lines from his beater, deep red cracking in places, runs into gas hut, comes sprinting out the other side, has to go back in with us, the expression on his face was priceless (think Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark when the Nazi's are getting 'dissolved' by the ark.


----------



## patrick666

Main gate OP at Farnham in -50 weather at 3am with one of the guys in my section, freezing, drinking coffee and smoking. We still have a good laugh about it, thank god for that coffee becxause it surely saved our lives... It's crazy how well you know the people you go to BMQ with and how suddenly they are gone. 

Cheers,

Patrick


----------



## BDTyre

Joonrooj said:
			
		

> Gas hut:
> Pte. on-a-holiday came back from Cuba with a sunburn all over his body with tan lines from his beater, deep red cracking in places, runs into gas hut, comes sprinting out the other side, has to go back in with us, the expression on his face was priceless (think Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark when the Nazi's are getting 'dissolved' by the ark.



Dropping my gas mask while deconning was not my most brilliant moment.  I still managed to get it back on before having to breathe.


----------



## Conquistador

On my SQ field ex, one guy in the trench next to mine decided to disassemble the C9 and clean it in the trenches. He should have made sure it wasn't cocked, because when he tried to take the spring out, it launched right into his face and gave him a nice big fat lip for the rest of the ex.


----------



## Scratch_043

Watching a batch of FOBs getting reamed their first morning for not eating breakfast (a chargeable offense)

I'm still here for a while, so I'm sure I'll think of/see more.


----------



## career_radio-checker

ToRN said:
			
		

> Watching a batch of FOBs getting reamed their first morning for not eating breakfast (a chargeable offense)
> 
> I'm still here for a while, so I'm sure I'll think of/see more.



Really? I didn't know it was chargable. Can you provide a reference point in the QR and Os?


----------



## goingback

Having Room! called when some of the guys had just got out of the shower, One poor guy standing at attention butt naked having the Female Mcpl tell him in a heavy french accent that next time he would show her his buttocks. (she wanted him to face away if he was naked)

Learning Drill with a poor bugger named Still.( people moving Mcpl yells "Still" Still yells "YES Mcpl!" again and again)

Finding out that the Newfoundlanders do really talk like in the jokes.


----------



## NL_engineer

Well mine would have to be:  This is is in the room next to mine

MCPL: why the F*** is your canteen not completely full
PTE: I don't know MCPL
MCPL: say Wing
PTE: wing

All that is hired is a scream, as another person in the room got the canteen in the groin

another would be:  MCPL on the radio to the course WO: 11 this is echo 5, send my Tango Hotel order to this grid 12345678 over, WO shows up minuets later with 1 coffee for the MCPL

I never liked the last one till I was out on a BMQ ex, and the course WO came over the radio and said (troops listening over there radios) saying, something to the effect of, "staff place your Tango Hotel orders"

Of the best one, I was out as staff, and was cooking supper (jigs dinner), along with the other 2 en force guys, and the officer: we had to ask a sect. commanders for directions, here's how it went:

Me: 11c this is 0 we need some direction with the Juliet Delta over
11c: the what
Me: our supper
11c: (speaking rather loudly) you mean the jigs dinner 

What a way to demotivate a course  ;D


----------



## xmarcx

A few weeks ago in Farnham, my section is patrolling down a road around 2am, we see some movement in the woods and halt. All of a sudden an arty sim and a gas grenade go off and our sgt yells "Gas Gas Gas!" I dived for cover into a snowbank and masked up, poked up my head up expecting to return fire, but instead see the rest of my section rolling around laughing at buddy who hit the ground and pulled a ham sandwich out of his carrier instead of his mask. Wow.


----------



## sober_ruski

xmarcx said:
			
		

> pulled a ham sandwich out of his carrier instead of his mask. Wow.



Insta-cocoroch?  ;D


----------



## goingback

S.O.A.D said:
			
		

> LOL,the same thing happend to us with the Company Major!We took out his boot laces to tie him up!



In the old days for MILCON out in Wainwright, A female new recruit standing on the neck of the Base Commander with a FNC1A1 (Said it was old) pressed to the back of his head screaming "don't you Fing move" when he "popped" in to our Hide one night.


----------



## Hawk

A quick question:

There are various references to MCpls throwing canteens around. Is this common practice these days?

Loving every post!!!


Hawk


----------



## goingback

While doing a comms course, we were working off scripts doing radio work one of the messages to be transmitted was for Sunray minor to meet up with Sunray at a GREY BARN grid ref to follow. One of the guys on course was asian with a heavy accent.

Alpha 11 this is Bravo 11 message over
Bravo 11 this is Alpha 11 send over
Bravo 11 Sunray minor meet up with Sunray at Gay Bar over
Alpha 11 Say Again over
Bravo 11 I say Again Sunray minor meet up with Sunray at Gay Bar over
Alpha 11 Say Again all after Sunray over
Bravo 11 I say Again Gay Bar over
Bravo 11 this is Charlie 11 transmitt through me over

By this time you could here the instructors laughing from the far side of the Armoury.


----------



## Trooper Hale

Just like the old,
21B -"21 Alpha, this is 21bravo over"
21A -"21Alpha, bend over"
21B -"21bravo (slight giggle), say again over"
21A -"I say again, Send over"
21B (Thinking something is wrong with the radios) - "21Bravo, radio check over"
21A - "Proud & queer over"

By the way, if your on a recruit course, DO NOT use "Bend over" instead of "Send over" or even vaguely consider using "Proud & Queer" instead of "Loud & Clear". If you do, you will die


----------



## career_radio-checker

Not really a BMQ story but while we are on the topic of radio-chatter

Wainwright Alta, Your's truly is Zero for OPFOR who have a fleet of rented GMC trucks out in the training area to get people around
21C: Zero this is 21C message
Zero:Send
21C: we need recovery, we're stuck in the muck and can't get out
Zero: Roger

CRC has an MLVW from OPFOR lines dispatched to the stuck crew-cab, with a tow cable.

...45 minutes later
21C: Zero this is 21C message
Zero: Send
21C: We need another recovery request.
Zero: What's wrong with the one you got?
21C: It's stuck too.
Zero: *sigh*

CRC calls base recovery who dispatches a wrecker HLVW to the now stuck crew-cab and MLVW.

...90 minutes later
21C: Zero this is 21C message
Zero: Are you unstuck yet?
21C: No
Zero: Has base recovery arrived yet? 
21C: Yes
Zero: What's the situation?
21C: They're smoking.
Zero: Smoking?!
21C: Yes.
Zero: Why the Foxtrot are they smoking?!
21C: They're stuck too.

CRC takes hand held radio to transport who is now wanting to go to supper but has to wait for truck to come back, and has 21C repeat message to transport. Transport  bangs head. (Yes I didn't need to bring the radio to transport, but hey it concerned them and they needed to know.  ;D)

CRC contacts base recovery who have already dispatched a badger to the now stuck crew-cab, MLVW, and HLVW.

Zero: 21C this is zero, message.
21C: (Exaggerated and extremely frustrated) SEND!
Zero: Recovery has already dispatched their heaviest equipment. If it gets stuck, prepare to push.


----------



## Nfld Sapper

career_radio-checker said:
			
		

> Not really a BMQ story but while we are on the topic of radio-chatter
> 
> Wainwright Alta, Your's truly is Zero for OPFOR who have a fleet of rented GMC trucks out in the training area to get people around
> 21C: Zero this is 21C message
> Zero:Send
> 21C: we need recovery, we're stuck in the muck and can't get out
> Zero: Roger
> 
> CRC has an MLVW from OPFOR lines dispatched to the stuck crew-cab, with a tow cable.
> 
> ...45 minutes later
> 21C: Zero this is 21C message
> Zero: Send
> 21C: We need another recovery request.
> Zero: What's wrong with the one you got?
> 21C: It's stuck too.
> Zero: *sigh*
> 
> CRC calls base recovery who dispatches a wrecker HLVW to the now stuck crew-cab and MLVW.
> 
> ...90 minutes later
> 21C: Zero this is 21C message
> Zero: Are you unstuck yet?
> 21C: No
> Zero: Has base recovery arrived yet?
> 21C: Yes
> Zero: What's the situation?
> 21C: They're smoking.
> Zero: Smoking?!
> 21C: Yes.
> Zero: Why the Foxtrot are they smoking?!
> 21C: They're stuck too.
> 
> CRC takes hand held radio to transport who is now wanting to go to supper but has to wait for truck to come back, and has 21C repeat message to transport. Transport  bangs head. (Yes I didn't need to bring the radio to transport, but hey it concerned them and they needed to know.  ;D)
> 
> CRC contacts base recovery who have already dispatched a badger to the now stuck crew-cab, MLVW, and HLVW.
> 
> Zero: 21C this is zero, message.
> 21C: (Exaggerated and extremely frustrated) SEND!
> Zero: Recovery has already dispatched their heaviest equipment. If it gets stuck, prepare to push.



So did they have to push?  ;D


----------



## mckee19

career_radio-checker said:
			
		

> Not really a BMQ story but while we are on the topic of radio-chatter
> 
> Wainwright Alta, Your's truly is Zero for OPFOR who have a fleet of rented GMC trucks out in the training area to get people around
> 21C: Zero this is 21C message
> Zero:Send
> 21C: we need recovery, we're stuck in the muck and can't get out
> Zero: Roger
> 
> CRC has an MLVW from OPFOR lines dispatched to the stuck crew-cab, with a tow cable.
> 
> ...45 minutes later
> 21C: Zero this is 21C message
> Zero: Send
> 21C: We need another recovery request.
> Zero: What's wrong with the one you got?
> 21C: It's stuck too.
> Zero: *sigh*
> 
> CRC calls base recovery who dispatches a wrecker HLVW to the now stuck crew-cab and MLVW.
> 
> ...90 minutes later
> 21C: Zero this is 21C message
> Zero: Are you unstuck yet?
> 21C: No
> Zero: Has base recovery arrived yet?
> 21C: Yes
> Zero: What's the situation?
> 21C: They're smoking.
> Zero: Smoking?!
> 21C: Yes.
> Zero: Why the Foxtrot are they smoking?!
> 21C: They're stuck too.
> 
> CRC takes hand held radio to transport who is now wanting to go to supper but has to wait for truck to come back, and has 21C repeat message to transport. Transport  bangs head. (Yes I didn't need to bring the radio to transport, but hey it concerned them and they needed to know.  ;D)
> 
> CRC contacts base recovery who have already dispatched a badger to the now stuck crew-cab, MLVW, and HLVW.
> 
> Zero: 21C this is zero, message.
> 21C: (Exaggerated and extremely frustrated) SEND!
> Zero: Recovery has already dispatched their heaviest equipment. If it gets stuck, prepare to push.


in my opinion one of the better stories on this thread 
why the foxtrot are they smoking?
there stuck too.......hahaha classic :rofl:


----------



## career_radio-checker

Nfld Sapper said:
			
		

> So did they have to push?  ;D



Lucky for them no. I saw said truck afterwords and you could see the muckline was well above the wheel well. They were REALLY stuck.


----------



## TN2IC

Ah that is classic!!!!

On other note, I have said "queer one" on the radio before.



Me is Gagetown..
12: 11A this is 12 radio check over
11A: Hi, this is 11A we are not around the CP so please leave you c/s and ADREP and we will get back to you ASAP.
12: What....say again over... MCpl ...radio is .... scratch scratch...


----------



## m410

RESO III in Gagetown, on a route recce, I get a contact.  Sending the contact report, I'm reading the grid off the map on the radio.  I'd been in the army a couple years and taken part in the odd comms ex.

"41C, Contact, Grid one two tree... fower fife... oh my god... err, six!  I say again, one two tree, fower fife six, 1 BMP in the..."

I'm sure they always put a contact at 123 456, but I wasn't expecting it!


----------



## mudrecceman

career_radio-checker said:
			
		

> Really? I didn't know it was chargable. Can you provide a reference point in the QR and Os?



How about this one?

http://www.admfincs.forces.gc.ca/qr_o/vol2/ch103_e.asp#103.16

If the CO's orders are "you shall eat"...or your Crse staff's...

Not that they DO actually charge people for this but...they technically could.

Or there is Old Faithful   ;D

http://www.admfincs.forces.gc.ca/qr_o/vol2/ch103_e.asp#103.60


Now back to your already hi-jacked thread...


----------



## Zell_Dietrich

All this talk of food made me remember the true horribleness of the kebabs.  Every so often on course there was a meat item the I honestly believe would make me sick.  Cold chicken, looking kinda raw and pink inside - oh yea I threw it in the garbage (along with anything that touched the chicken).  More than a few times I managed to sneak past the Sgt handing out what was claimed to be the meat item.  One time I got completely busted for trying to sneak past.  It was funny I didn't get jacked up,  the staff were taking it as a personal insult.  Yes they made me come back and get the meat item (They ignored my "You guys sure do love forcing me to take your meat" comment - which I think was for the best)

And, unless I am truly misinformed, ordering someone to eat an item that will cause an illness for no reason other than general discipline would be an illegal order.


----------



## goingback

On my PRes BMQ they tried to feed us this horrible boiled Kolbassa it was so hard that it couldn't be cut with my combat knife. I also use to laugh my butt off when one of the girls on course who was a vegetarian would always be given a double serving of what ever the meat item was. I think the instructors just liked seeing the reaction on her face, and she would tell them every time that she didn't eat meat.


----------



## sober_ruski

It is always funny when English speaking people say Kolbasa


----------



## mysteriousmind

what iskolbassa??


----------



## Conquistador

mysteriousmind: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kolbassa


----------



## BDTyre

Staff since BMQ, Day 1 telling me I need to eat more to bulk up.  It has become so bad that our recently posted out platoon commander would actually bring me food in the middle of class.  And now, everytime I hear "seconds" my name is not far behind.  Although, some of this catered stuff is hard to eat.  

Coming back from the OP at 0200 to see the section commander wrapped in his ranger blanket, dancing around and flapping his arms like a vampire.  After we took up a position and advanced on him, he realized we weren't backing down and he issued the running password.

At OPSEE, doing CTR on a tailgate party 200m from the biv site, just outside the fence.

Half the section deciding to relocate the OP because they had heard a noise and seen dark figures following them.  They could hear people behind them, but every time they would stop, these people would stop.  They'd look back and see a dark figure in a bush cap.  They would duck down and so would this dark figure.  They would get up and so would he.  He was good.  It was a clear night with a nearly full moon.  The noise they heard was a bird.


----------



## Hawk

Perhaps their shadows? It would have been a great time to implant the idea of a haunted area  > ;D


Hawk


----------



## BDTyre

The story of how the engineers built the hill over an old indian burial ground?  Or was it built over the bodies of the recruits that couldn't make it?   ;D

The next day, the whole course get to hear how these four were stalked by their shadows and frightened by a bird.


----------



## Whitlock

Hearing the sentence "*This* is a jacking, a *ONE WAY* conversation"

That, and having my flag upside down during inspection, and getting away with it ;D


----------



## Zell_Dietrich

One of our instructors,  super hard core and really looks it.  Half way through a lecture on voice procedure,  decided to stop and jack everyone up because we're going into the field and we're all worms.   I completely understand why he chose to put a little "attention" into the group,  there were about 20 people who were dozy little freaks.  (seriously,  I'm not saying I was all that good, but at least I wanted to put in effort,  it was clear many of them were the coasting types)

     He took 5 minutes to explain that we'll be going into his element and that he will eat us.  This was after he informed us that we were a bunch of (disparaging word for homosexuals) and then said he didn't care if any of us were actually a (disparaging word for homosexual) he will still slap us straight. Because we're going into where he reigned - one of his big issues was that we needed to keep a tight grip on our kit.  I'll admit I was kind of offended but what he was saying,  he used vulgar terms for every sex organ I could think of, but I understood the why.

     I would have preferred he didn't use the vulgarity he did - but whatever. I liked the emotion,  I liked the passion. But what I LOVED was the irony when on the exercise where he was going to eat us,  he lost his radio.  It was just one of those cheep Canadian tire style ones,  (no crypto = no charges).  But still,  a radio - I felt conflicted between wanting to savour the falling of an impressive figure and a deep sense of loss.  ( I think I wanted to idolize him )


----------



## Hawk

I think radio communications must be given to comedy!

On my comm course at CFB Esquimalt we were in the "new" Comm School, just learning voice procedure in our new voice trainer - individual cupicles, where we couldn't see each other, or our instructor. This is a second-hand story, for obvious reasons.

My voice call sign was Open Road. PO called me 

"Open Road, over"     -no reply-
"Open Road, over"     -no reply-
"*Open Road, over"*   -no reply-

"*M****n* (my name) *WAKE UP*

At which point, I came to and responded.

Must have been up late the night before, and it was really warm in the voice trainer.


Hawk


----------



## Pte Quilty

Well so far in still in BMQ 1st day i showed up with my snowflake over my wrong eye (right eye) and a MC went off on me intill i told him it was my 1st day then he said sorry. Doing the bear march once or twice (right hand right foot,Left hand lelt foot). When we got issued are c7s we were told not to put the clips in but 20 mins later when we where in the rack my fellow buddie locked it in the gun only to have our Sgt come in (he pressed release button)...his heart was pounding when sgt left..lol. Like i said im still doing it so im sure ill do more stupid things.


----------



## Samsquanch

Whitlock I was there.. you were lucky. See you this weekend.


----------



## PMedMoe

Pte Quilty said:
			
		

> Well so far in still in BMQ 1st day i showed up with my snowflake over my wrong eye (right eye) and a MC went off on me intill i told him it was my 1st day then he said sorry.



You guys have a cap badge first day?  Boy, things _have_ changed.


----------



## patrick666

St. Jean still gives the cap badge after your successful completion of the Drill Test as far as I know. Atleast on my course that was the case. 

Cheers


----------



## rmacqueen

Pte Quilty said:
			
		

> Well so far in still in BMQ 1st day i showed up with my snowflake over my wrong eye (right eye) and a MC went off on me intill i told him it was my 1st day then he said sorry.



He said sorry? Things have changed ;D


----------



## mudrecceman

What was a MC (read Master of Ceremonies) doing at Day 1 of your BMQ?

Or did you mean MCpl?

 ;D


----------



## Thorvald

Zell_Dietrich said:
			
		

> But what I LOVED was the irony when on the exercise where he was going to eat us,  he lost his radio.  It was just one of those cheep Canadian tire style ones,  (no crypto = no charges).  But still,  a radio - I felt conflicted between wanting to savour the falling of an impressive figure and a deep sense of loss.  ( I think I wanted to idolize him )



Hmmm, I think I was in that particular session as well.   His speech was rather 'inspiring' wasn't it, it was nice to see a bit of 'the old army' sneak out of an instructor (I just hope he didn't catch any flak for it, he's a good fellow and it was well delivered and timely).


----------



## sober_ruski

Apparently they changed since 2006. But hey, it's another responsibility they get earlier, so cant really say it is easier.


----------



## career_radio-checker

PMedMoe said:
			
		

> You guys have a cap badge first day?  Boy, things _have_ changed.



Yes PMedMoe, they have. And that officially makes us 'old school'.


----------



## PMedMoe

career_radio-checker said:
			
		

> Yes PMedMoe, they have. And that officially makes us 'old school'.



 :crybaby:


----------



## BergD

MCpl: How would you know who the enemy is?
Me: Fucker has rags on his head and shit
MCpl: Shiit, you're ready to kill Ghandi aren't you?


----------



## medaid

Hmmmm I guess no one told him that Ghandi was Hindu and didn't wear a turban.  ;D

Just a question there BergD, what are you going to do about all those other who don't wear a 'rag on his head and crap' ?  :


----------



## BDTyre

BERG!!!

I thought that quote sounded familiar!


----------



## Grunt

This one time, at army camp,

We had this one guy in our section who would barely ever shave, Sgt caught him, and our section had to shave after every 40 min class in the morning, the fun part was we got to do the gas hut in the afternoon. Got to love CS and razor burn ;D


----------



## dawson

i rememeber the first day i walked in the green doors at st jean and there was a PO waiting for us and he said do you have a girl friend private i said yes i do he said good good well your my meat puppet now 

i didnt know what i was getting into 

also a certain platoon mate went to a certain establishment for services and the PL staff found out and kept bugging him calling him lover boy oh man i cant believe he delt with it lol


----------



## JDFreeSoul

Cap badge on first day?  ???
Is it a regular BMQ? that's weird... it was 4 weeks before to get it.


----------



## medaid

PRes BMQ have cap badges on Day Uno JDFreeSoul


----------



## NL_engineer

MedTech said:
			
		

> PRes BMQ have cap badges on Day Uno JDFreeSoul



Not all; but some do.  Depends on the unit(s) running the BMQ


----------



## Zell_Dietrich

I was told by my unit not to put a cap badge in because I'll earn it on course.  I get there and I get a minor jacking for not having it in.  Fair enough. About 6 days into the course the Sgt Major asked which unit I was in,  I said Comms.  He told me to get Signals slip ons. (I was also told to wear Canada slipons by my unit) In QM I asked for Signals slip ons,  a Warrent over heard me and started jacking me up... and Cpl joined in.  Thank god a 2Lt walked into the room and basically saved me.  

(I know this isn't a BMQ story,  but it all came about because there was no communication between my unit and the BMQ staff)


----------



## BDTyre

I was told that during BMQ, unit slip ons were for candidates going NCM and Canada was for OCdt.  However, most people in the course, regardless of their choice had Canada.  I was also told this by someone who had just graduated their BMQ; needless, I did not put much faith in their statement.  

As for the cap badge, I was given the impression (correctly so) that I was to wear it in my beret at all times, until such a time as I had earned my regimental headdress/cap badge.  That said, I did not get in trouble when it broke, I simply was asked by almost everyone (including other recruits) where it was.  When I explained what happened, most staff just shrugged and asked if I had requested a new one.  No big deal about it.


----------



## medaid

JarheadBC said:
			
		

> I was told that during BMQ, unit slip ons were for candidates going NCM and Canada was for OCdt.



huh I've never heard that before, weird. Well when I did my BMQ, I didn't have an officer on my course  maybe that's why I've never heard about it  ;D


----------



## mysteriousmind

I just came back from the armory of my unit, and I asked for flaps and they did not ask nothing...they just handed me the units flaps.


----------



## armyvern

JarheadBC said:
			
		

> I was told that during BMQ, unit slip ons were for candidates going NCM and Canada was for OCdt.  However, most people in the course, regardless of their choice had Canada.  I was also told this by someone who had just graduated their BMQ; needless, I did not put much faith in their statement.
> 
> As for the cap badge, I was given the impression (correctly so) that I was to wear it in my beret at all times, until such a time as I had earned my regimental headdress/cap badge.  That said, I did not get in trouble when it broke, I simply was asked by almost everyone (including other recruits) where it was.  When I explained what happened, most staff just shrugged and asked if I had requested a new one.  No big deal about it.



Paragraph one: Whoever told you that...was a liar.


----------



## Zell_Dietrich

The Librarian said:
			
		

> Paragraph one: Whoever told you that...was a liar.



Respectfully,  I've been told 5 different "facts" by different people.  I don't think people intend to lie,  however sometimes they simply don't know the official standard and they just go by what they know (or think is right).  It is frustrating when as a recruit you're told completely contradictory things to do.  Wear your cap badge,  don't wear it oh wait no wear this one insted ...


----------



## BDTyre

Hence my line "I did not put much faith in their statement."


----------



## Can-american

Well we do not have BMQ here in America but I assume these are memories from basic and AIT so I will jump feet first here

1) One of our troop was caught selling chewing tobacco therefore our drill Sgt had us move all our bunks along with clothing lockers downstairs from the third floor upon arrival to the bottom floor everything must be dressed right dressed.  Before the move we had been smoked from roughly 5pm - 10 at night

2) During FTX we learned how to kill a live animal (rabbit) they picked a fellow to kill it with a stick and he bashed it so many times it became retarded and he could not kill it so he started to get upset and cry

3) Having motor boat races across our bunk floors ( Which means you move all bunks, lockers and gear to the other side as the drill Sgt brings in 4 garbage pails of water with soap and we had to use our shower towels and line up and to "bear crawl" across till the floor was clean and dry.

Take care, Can-Am


----------



## BDTyre

I'm a little disturbed by point #2.  It seems pointless and cruel.


----------



## Can-american

JarheadBC said:
			
		

> I'm a little disturbed by point #2.  It seems pointless and cruel.



It was based ona survival if you were in the woods and could find no food.  I agree thought it was pointless it was taught by this spec ops fellow was not called for at that moment as we had also been running lanes all day.  Take care Can-Am


----------



## armyvern

Can-american said:
			
		

> It was based ona survival if you were in the woods and could find no food.  I agree thought it was pointless it was taught by this spec ops fellow was not called for at that moment as we had also been running lanes all day.  Take care Can-Am



I guess he'd never heard of keeping a wire snare in his survival kit like we're taught here?

Something about this whole scenario...just sounds waaaaaaaaaay _off_ to me.


----------



## Bruce Monkhouse

What, the rabbits don't stand around in the Maritimes and let you bash them??  Weird


----------



## Mike Baker

Bruce Monkhouse said:
			
		

> What, the rabbits don't stand around in the Maritimes and let you bash them??  Weird


I wish, then I wouldn't have spent hours making snares


----------



## Bruce Monkhouse

Now I heard someone mention,
If good weed is your attention,
Don't cover them or keep them from the sun,

But now enters the rabbit,
Who seems to have a habit,
Of eating leaves of anything that green,
He'd get up on his hind feet,
And he'd begin to eat,
Until two feet of the stalk had been stripped clean.

Now there's a rabbit runnin' round,
He's hoppin' up and down,
He's freaked out, grins and wags his tail,
He's got two bloodshot eyes,
And he doesn't realize,
To get him high I could have gone to jail......

Ohhhh,...THAT rabbit..... :-X

[Thanks, Good Brothers]


----------



## armyvern

Bruce Monkhouse said:
			
		

> What, the rabbits don't stand around in the Maritimes and let you bash them??  Weird



Hey Bruce, the guy was Special Ops!! Perhaps those guys can move a bit faster than angry, pissed off rabbits. They'd be moving very quickly, I'd assume, under, about and around various forms of _shrubberies_ (say in coolest Monty Python voice you can).

The only rabbits that I've ever had the pleasure to meet that stood around like this to take on humans...were the big honkin' Arctic hares in Alert, and I can assure you...those rabbits would have removed the stick from anyone's hands to beat the human with it in a heartbeat.


----------



## Trooper Hale

Beating rabbits with a stick? Wow...wow... ...ummm...wow.
If i have a rabbit within grasp, i hold its head and ears in one hand, hold its legs in the other and pull it with speed and aggression (as my Recruit instructors used to say) across my leg until theres a snapping noise and the rabbit stops moving. This means the rabbit has died and is now edible. I do _not_ unless i suddenly drop 50 IQ points, start hitting the thing with a stick. If your able to hit it with a stick then your able to humanely break its neck.
I say again...wow...Maybe you should talk to the truth fairy and just edit that rabbit part out of your post, maybe you can save some of your already lagging credibility. _Maybe_


----------



## CADPAT SOLDIER

Hey, 
I've seen rabbit beating before, and it was in cadets. 
Winter survival, the cadet O had bought a domestic rabbit, (because they have apparently been told they were not allowed to harvest rabbits from wild)
the entire course stood outside while one survival instructor held the rabbits legs so it was vertical and another survival instructor took a tree branch that they had "decorated" with electrical tape and hit its neck at a downward angle, 
 it took 3 or 4 really solid hits for that rabbit to stop moving, then they showed us all how to gut it and cook it, 
The rabbit killing was obscene for 14-15 year old's to watch and nothing I have seen in the reserves compares to it. 

This is a true story, and there are several members of this site that were there that night.


----------



## p_imbeault

Wow thats just terrible, there are more then a couple more humane and easier ways to kill an animal that I can think of right now, besides doesn't beating it like the ruin the meat somewhat?


----------



## Samsquanch

Haven't you seen one of those meat tenderizing hammers. A little preparation goes a long way.  ;D

It still sounds crule and unusaul but oh so tasty....


----------



## Danjanou

Having taught survival training as part of Winter Indoc, including snaring rabbits and killing. Plucking chickens brought out of the purpose, with both Reservists and affiliated Cadet Corps members present in, I agree it does sound both cruel and pointless. Even moreso when done for just young cadets. This kind of misplaced pseudo macho crap is not called for, but it seems still exists. 

Now about these tabbed Special Forces bunnies mentioned a couple of posts past. Can anybody provide more details about this unit without violating OPSEC.  8)


----------



## p_imbeault

Samsquanch said:
			
		

> Haven't you seen one of those meat tenderizing hammers. A little preparation goes a long way.  ;D
> 
> It still sounds crule and unusaul but oh so tasty....


I always thought those hammers were for meat that has been properly cut and dressed? I dont think it would be a good idea to "tenderize" it with all the internals and bones still inside  ???


----------



## Benny

The worst incident I've seen was the killing of a kangaroo with an axe, but that was because it had been hit by an M113. Making a kid who clearly didn't want to, and cried as a result, beat a bunny to death? Hmmmm...that's got lawsuit written all over it. And the crap about crawling around on the floor? Bastardisation has been largely gotten rid of here, but it seems that there are still a few around capable of it. The sooner they realise that it isn't the 1950s and bullying kids is a really good way to prevent them ever joining up full time, the better. If this means those who won't change their ways, leaving the army, then so be it.


----------



## mysteriousmind

I have a few good ones...


1- We are in our first week in our Pres before inspection, a kid just fall into hyperventilation... our Mclp is trying to put some sense into the kid and the guy in front tells the Mclp that he should not speak to him that way. I have never seen some one move so fast the Mcpl was so pissed off. I was so funny.

2- the same  kid, one evening our section commander yells gas, gas gas, so we put our gas mask, and the same kid starts to have breathing trouble....the same Mclp pass and takes off the kids mask...he answers really loudly thanks general...god it was hilarious to see both of their faces. 

3- On morning inspection (again) our section commander ask who did not take a shower... one kid (not the same) yells I did not have time to Sargent. The Sargent look at him...you &?%CI$# pig this is discusting. you have about 7 minutes to take a shower. The kid just ran off to the shower and came back all wet...he did not take off his combat gear.  All day he was miserable..from having all of his kit wet. 

I could go on but ill save some for later.


----------



## Karl88

This one happened in my SQ a couple of days ago (Camp Vimy).

We were having vaccinations done that day. Apart from the look on people faces the third time they get poked (and the one scrawny-looking teenager passing out), nothing else was really interesting or even slightly amusing. However, that all changed very fast and very suddenly.

Following the vaccinations, we were told to get 15 minutes of rest. So we were about 6 guys sitting on the benches aligned to the interior circumference of the tent. There was ALSO our MCpl waiting there; sitting off to the side a bit. Another guy from our platoon comes in (who I'll refer to as Bloggins from this point on) and sits down to the immediate left of the MCpl. Apparently, he didn't notice the instructor. And then it begins.

Bloggins starts to rant on about the vaccinations. Comments on how unfair it was that they only administered them a week into the course, when nobody would really say "no" and get thrown off. Well, he was being fairly "vocal" about it. We assumed he knew the MCpl was there and would refrain from going too far. And that's when it happened. He suddenly changed topic and started bashing the MCpl (who was sitting at arms-width apart from the private and who suddenly veered his head to the left). He was going all-out on how much he disliked the instructor. We, the stooges who could have prevented it, were roaring with laughter. After he was done, a minute had passed by and still he didn't see the MCpl who was now staring intensely at him. One of the guys thought it was enough and told Bloggins "eyes-right". He looked, and was frozen in shock. I think his heart must have stopped beating for a couple of seconds. That made it even funnier for us. Some guys were in tears and one fell off the bench laughing.

The entire platoon (most of which weren't present, or even knew what had happened) ate dirt late into the night. Of the things he made us do, the MCpl had us fitted in full combat and made to run 800m, wearing the gas mask on our run back. We all nearly passed out.

Yeah, it stopped being funny.


----------



## Brett

Tommy said:
			
		

> and learning that the RHLI like to march reeeeeeaaallly fast.....



..like you wouldn't believe...


----------



## Hawk

Is Bloggins still about? He was Ordinary Seaman, or Able Seaman Bloggins(depending on circumstance)  when I was in, in the 1960's: and a "Queen's hard bargain" he was then! Its sure good to know some things just don't change.  ;D


Hawk


----------



## Meridian

The vaccinations story made me remember this one:

140 OCdts from RMC PrepYear are at the Mega one snowy, but sunny and fairly warm winter day, at the MIR.  It's vaccination day. 

Apparently the last time we had been through the MIR, the table of individually wrapped gift boxes (AKA condoms in brown paper bags) went from full to empty in a matter of seconds.   So this visit, the Nursing Officer seemed less than impressed with the idea of having to refill a bunch of paper bags just for the Officer Candidates from RMC who seemed to be having a lot of fun in the sack.

Result was my smug suggestion to simply give us the massive box of 1000 that the MIR received their orders in. Suprisingly, the suggestion from the Officer Candidate was accepted, and the box was provided to the Sgt escorting us that day, a crusty former CAR and current Vandoo.

Fast forward to forming up outside (140 of us young teens/20s that we are) in the snow, the Sgt for whatever reason puts the (white) box of 1000 condoms down on the ground behind him so that he can speak to us about something or other.   Another member is leaving the MIR at the same time, and jumps into a GMC a little ways away in the parking lot.   Apparently he's in a hurry, because he blasts passed our formed up group.

Sgt is about to exclaim some rightful nastiness as the truck drives right over the box of 1000 condoms and the box explodes, sending condoms everywhere behind a clearly angry Sgt and in front of 140 formed up OCdts.

Thankfully I wasn't the OCdt who had to go back in and find the nursing officer to ask for another box of 1000 only 10 minutes later


----------



## patrick666

This is not from BMQ but similar circumstances anyway...

It was another inspection morning for us on our QL3s... our Mbdr was very hard on us to have clean, clean, clean rifles. It would take nothing more than a milimetre of carbon to be caught in the fury of swearing and yelling. However, this specific morning... he came in as per usual... walked past by bunk... said.. "Usually I come in here and tear you guys apart... today though.. I'm just going to bust some ass" and he proceeded to relief himself of the loudest, most nauseating smell ever. It smelled so bad he just left the room without inspecting us at all... all of us did our best to not laugh.. but how could you not... we laughed solidly all day about it.. 

Cheers, 

Patrick.


----------



## medaid

Patrick H, no one yelled GAS GAS GAS?!  :blotto:


----------



## TN2IC

Meridian said:
			
		

> The vaccinations story made me remember this one:
> 
> 140 OCdts from RMC PrepYear are at the Mega one snowy, but sunny and fairly warm winter day, at the MIR.  It's vaccination day.
> 
> Apparently the last time we had been through the MIR, the table of individually wrapped gift boxes (AKA condoms in brown paper bags) went from full to empty in a matter of seconds.   So this visit, the Nursing Officer seemed less than impressed with the idea of having to refill a bunch of paper bags just for the Officer Candidates from RMC who seemed to be having a lot of fun in the sack.
> 
> Blah... blah blah blah...Blah... blah blah blah...Blah... blah blah blah...
> Blah... blah blah blah...blah... blah blah blah...
> Blah... blah blah blah...Blah... blah blah blah...
> Blah... blah blah blah...Blah... blah blah blah...



One year at our local summer training camp, us hard working truckers... use to raid the condoms at the MIR. They would still be all attached together... so we would wear them like a sash back to work. "Comdon parade..... halt."


----------



## slowmode

Lots of good bmq memories

VERY FUNNY ONES

1. Having your helmet fall on the floor and the 2IC thinking it was your rifle, then having to do pushups.
2. Having one guy say sorry for sweating to a Master CPL
3. One guy got a nose bleed and he had to white it during drill and it looked like he was picking his nose so the cpl went "HEY YOU STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE".


----------



## blacktriangle

BMQ- Frequent inquiries about my sex life
SQ- Frequent inquires as to why my sex life was as dull as it was on BMQ


----------



## geo

1970.... too long ago to remember

giving BMQ (aka GMT).... too many to pick "the best one"


----------



## GUNS

It wasn't called BMQ in 1968, or was it. Too far back to remember.

During morning inspection, the Troop Sgt. was examining my razor.

He asked me if I had used it, "No, Sgt." says I.

"Why not". says the Sgt.

"I don't need to shave", says me.

The Sgt. did a very close inspection of my face.

Having found no facial hair, the Sgt. stood back.

" You want to be a soldier" says he.

'Yes, Sgt" says I.

"The Army needs men and real men shave" says he.

"Are you a man" he asked.

"Yes, Sgt", says I

"Then I want you shaved by the time Morning Inspection is over.

As I started to gather my shaving kit, the Sgt. stopped me and instructed me to dry shave at my locker mirror.

When the Sgt. completed Morning Inspection and returned to my room.

There I stood at Attention with nicks and cuts everywhere.

The Sgt. congratulated me on becoming a man and then wrote me up for " self inflicted wounds"

I was cleaning garbage cans all the following weekend.

That was just one of many that could be told.


----------



## BDTyre

This one is BIQ, but has to be told....

While marching back from lunch, marching NCO - a Sgt- spots a clueless Pte _walking_ in the other direction.

"You got a chit that says you can't march?"
"Yes, Master Corporal."
"Master Corporal!?  Holy f--k, you're retarded!"

Same marching NCO:
"Get those bends out of the elbows troops, and I'm not f---ing talking to the troops I'm marching!!"
On the way to any given meal:
"Yeah, you better hurry.  My course might beat you!  Hope the (meal) is worth it!"
"Okay course, I'm not going to dismiss you yet.  I want this guy to get a little closer and when I dismiss you, all of you get in front of him."

Same NCO, during a Nav lecture:
"I'm a map, I'm a map."
"And you are at X.  And X marks what?  The spot!  Arrrrr!!!"

Vandoo instructor:
"F--k man, you strong."
"And I warn you, I speak English like a shovel."
"You have to give good hand sign, because tonight we have moon, but some nights, it is dark like the inside of a monkey's a--hole."  (Even the other instructors had to make fun of this one.)


----------



## Danjanou

slowmode said:
			
		

> ...2. Having one guy say sorry for sweating to a Master CPL...



man have they gotten a lot more strict about some things since my day 8)


----------



## Zartan

CanadianTire said:
			
		

> This one is BIQ, but has to be told....
> 
> While marching back from lunch, marching NCO - a Sgt- spots a clueless Pte _walking_ in the other direction.
> 
> "You got a chit that says you can't march?"
> "Yes, Master Corporal."
> "Master Corporal!?  Holy f--k, you're retarded!"
> 
> Same marching NCO:
> "Get those bends out of the elbows troops, and I'm not f---ing talking to the troops I'm marching!!"
> On the way to any given meal:
> "Yeah, you better hurry.  My course might beat you!  Hope the (meal) is worth it!"
> "Okay course, I'm not going to dismiss you yet.  I want this guy to get a little closer and when I dismiss you, all of you get in front of him."



Haha, I was in the other BIQ. You guys must've hated how we always formed up in your way!I remember our march NCOs talking as we marched towards each other outside the mess:
"Let's not halt and see who wins"


----------



## RCR Grunt

Let me set the scene...

Meaford, summer of 2000.  I'm on my QL3 Infantry.  I'm having a bit of a rough time adjusting and give one of our instructors a nick name.  He was a huge gorilla of a man from 3 RCR Para Coy, fresh off his Pathfinder course so he's mad at the world.  I call him "The Terminator"  because, in my eyes, he was a robot sent from the future to kill me.  Fast forward a couple of months....

Exercise Pro Pat 1, "defensive" ex... I say "defensive" because anyone who was on that course knows its actually a sleep deprivation ex with some digging involved.  So, 3 sleepless nights of digging into it and along comes the Terminator to inspect my hole.  He goes on with "Looking good, a little deeper and we can start to think about rivetting and blah blah blah (I was half asleep and still digging at this point) because I've been sent from the future to kill you."

"Yes, corporal!"  is all I say as I toss a few more chunks of Meaford clay from my position.  It hasn't hit me yet.

He goes on some more "Yup, and its gotta be so many rifle widths wide and this many long.  Isn't that right, Sarah Connor?"

At this point I stop digging, and I feel my face start to heat up under my cam paint and bug juice.  I slowly raise my head to see his gleaming toothy grin shining in the night.  One of my course mates let the nick name slip!  Well, he had a good laugh, and I'm sure the rest of the staff did as well.  I think he was quite proud of his nick name.


----------



## BDTyre

Kernewek said:
			
		

> Haha, I was in the other BIQ. You guys must've hated how we always formed up in your way!I remember our march NCOs talking as we marched towards each other outside the mess:
> "Let's not halt and see who wins"



I thought we should passed through each other on the march, or even better, merged and see who came out with NCO...that or had a march off!


----------



## CrazyCanuck

"Pte Bloggins, what's your problem?"
"My arms are ****ed up, my elbows are ****ed up, my knees are ****ed up, my back is ****ed up, I'm all kinds of ****ed up Master Corporal"


Glad to say this wasn't me


----------



## Zartan

CanadianTire said:
			
		

> I thought we should passed through each other on the march, or even better, merged and see who came out with NCO...that or had a march off!



lol definately! Did you guys only mess up on ranks once? My course did rather badly for some reason.
pour example: "Yes Master Corporal. (oh f***) YES WARRANT!!! (F***) Sergeant."


----------



## 1feral1

Remembering back almost 20 yrs ago, as DS, I remember this short skinny prairie kid from Regina Beach. Jamie S was his name ( ha, he is still serving, ex RegF, now RRR, and AFG Vet).

We had two PLs going thru wpn issue, the other PL called our's down, I said to Jamie, are you going to let them get away with that? Without exception, he immediatly ran over and begain whaling on this guy. We all thought it was a bit of a joke, and an act, but after seeing torn epauletts and some blood, we quickly broke it up. He sure had some esprit du corps!

He proved himseslf to be a tenacuious dedicated soldier, and went on to many things over the years. CCUNPROFOR for starters, and I heard he did well in Afghanistan too. If any of you run into him, tell him I said hi.

On a 5 month mini-Longlook in 2000, ran into him at the Moosejaw Airshow, as he was there for a para demo out of a C130 with a bunch of others that I knew. I had spent the show in the static displays for Army equipment, met up with Ed S, Mark C, Rob 'X', Jamie, and Willie Mac. What a wild Saturday night that was at the hockey rink turned party central. I stayed in their room that night. Those barracks at MJ are long since torn down now.

The Army is a small world.


Cheers,

Wes


----------



## BDTyre

Kernewek said:
			
		

> lol definately! Did you guys only mess up on ranks once? My course did rather badly for some reason.
> pour example: "Yes Master Corporal. (oh f***) YES WARRANT!!! (F***) Sergeant."



Can't speak for the other sections, but mine messed up maybe once or twice, whole course, and...as for the platoon as a whole, it would happen every now and then and the staff were pretty laid back about it.
"Stop (promoting/demoting) the (Sergeant/Warrant)."
"I haven't been a Sergeant for a very long time."
"I haven't been a Warrant for a very...no...that's not true, but its still been a few years since I was a warrant."

We had one staff member though who you sort of had to watch what you said with.


----------



## Brett

I had a Bdr on my bmq that would make us do pushups everytime you called him a corporal (two chevrons lol). anyway, we were down at the ranges one day and i called him a warrant. I didn't mean to, we just finished discussing about the warrant, and then the Bdr told me to do something, and I stupidly said "yes, warrant". haha. I almost pissed myself. He was pretty cool with it though. I guess he only minds when you mistake him for a corporal. Obviously he didn't mind be called a higher rank >< but he knew it was totally accidental on every level.


----------



## wannabe Fire FTR

tannerthehammer said:
			
		

> Here is a funny one,
> 
> Recruit talking to a MCPL:
> 
> Recruit: "Yes Super Corporal!"
> 
> MCPL: "Super Corporal!  What the **** is a Super Corporal!"



oh man that made me laugh ;D


----------



## GDSM MTL

Frankie said:
			
		

> 22 birthday, easter weekend....on a bus going to Cornwallis in 1987. Did not know Mom had stuck a chocholate bunny in my suitcase... "All right welcome to Cornwallis... open your bags"..hmmm I'm sure the staff enjoyed it.


OMFG HAHAHAHAHA
'
I hope I see something like that sometime soon


----------



## time expired

Jan.1958,RCEME School,Barriefield Ont.waiting for basic trg.to start
I was shovelling snow outside Regt.Trg.HQ.,just one of the many
sh%§t jobs they found for us untrained rookies to do,when a very
loud voice attached to Sgt.stripes asked if any of us a-holes could
read.Dead silence,as everybody had learned the first rule of army
life, NEVER VOLUNTEER,however my pride got the upper hand
and I allowed that I could indeed read, a little.I spent the next three
weeks in a warm office doing updates on trg. pams.,beat shovelling
snow by a long shot.
My basic trg.platoon was full of interesting characters,a German
Luftwaffe bomber crewman who made an official request,in writing,
for permission to wear his WW2 medals.An ex 6th Airborne Brit.
who refused to spit shine his boots,press his battledress.or wear
weights as that constituted destruction of Her Majesties property.
The German received a resounding NO and a constant hard time
but everyone secretly admired his chutzpah,the Brit.also saw the
light after an equally hard time and numerous private talks with
the Coy.CO.he just got tired of hauling his bed and kit down to 
the guardroom for after hours kit inspections. 
                                Regards


----------



## Fische35

keyvan25 said:
			
		

> 1. saluting a sergeant on my 5 day
> 2. calling my master cpl corpal as i walked by him and as he turned around to yell at me i just ran.
> we all had a good laugh about it
> 3. going to attention with the wrong foot during the grad parade, cuz that was supposed to be infront of me, had a panic attack,
> and i had to switch with him last minute, and that got me all messed up.
> 4. telling one of my buddies that an officer was walking towards us, and then my buddy turned around called group and saluted a master corporal, who jacked him up pretty bad for that one.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _*.*_



Why would your buddy get jacked for saluting a master corporal?


----------



## aesop081

Fische35 said:
			
		

> Why would your buddy get jacked for saluting a master corporal?



Are you seriously asking ?


----------



## Fische35

Yeah...I havent joined yet, so I dont know the procedures.....I didnt think you could get in shit for saluting some one


----------



## kratz

CDN Aviator said:
			
		

> Are you seriously asking ?



I just reread his ast 10 posts, he is still applying to the CF and I assume does not know the rank structure yet.


----------



## PMedMoe

kratz said:
			
		

> I just reread his ast 10 posts, he is still applying to the CF and I assume does not know the rank structure yet.



He obviously can't read, either, as the quoted post mentions saluting a Sergeant and not a Master Corporal.


----------



## Fische35

Some one wanna tell me why I'm an idiot then?


----------



## MARS

> my buddy turned around called group and saluted a master corporal,



you are not an idiot Fische35 - don't sweat it.


----------



## Eye In The Sky

You're not an idiot.  You are just not trained yet.

Only Officers that hold a Commission are saluted in the CF.  Non-commissioned members, including Privates, Junior Non-Commissioned Officers (Cpls and MCpls), Senior NCOs (Sergeants) and Warrant Officers (Warrant Officers, Master WOs and Chief WOs) are not to be saluted.  Paying of compliments is something you will learn, once you are in and on BMQ.


----------



## Zell_Dietrich

Fische35 said:
			
		

> Why would your buddy get jacked for saluting a master corporal?



 :rofl:

Saluting,  no.  Don't do it.  Calling group yes.  It is very awkward when you get saluted when you're not supposed to be.

I remember being an Ocdt in Gagetown.  I was walking back from the Canex (with cleaning supplies for next morning's inspection) I guess a BMQ course just let out and several gaggles of Pte's were walking down that sidewalk.  One pte saluted me,  (as instructed I returned it and politely told him he needn't salute a thin bar) and carried on.  The next group saw the previous group salute and they moved off to the side and called group and saluted.... (same explanation thin bar but with compliments on how sharp they looked) ... then came a MCpl, who must have seen the groups saluting he came closer and just as he was about to salute he saw my rank and laughed as he walked past.  (He said something just before he laughed)


----------



## Eye In The Sky

You did what?   



> then I came a MCpl


----------



## aesop081

Fische35 said:
			
		

> Some one wanna tell me why I'm an idiot then?



I didnt say you were an idiot.........I said "are you seriously asking"


----------



## fire_guy686

I remember one day after a PT session our instructor had joined us for. We get back to the shacks, told us we had like 8 minutes for everybody(56 troops) to get upstairs, changed, showered and back downstairs. Get dismissed haul ass upstairs, strip down and head to the shower. On my way there I notice everybody in the washroom getting a quick bird bath. I for some reason chose to go into the shower room, and as I walk through the door there is our Sgt standing there after getting a shower(nobody knew he had come up). He asks me where the f*** is everybody at? Not wanting to get in crap myself I told him(I know blade them all) at which time he says I'll fix them. He tells me to get a shower and to work as the weapons sentry while he goes back outside. I get my shower, go get dressed as everyone is running down the hall. I get dressed, go down the hall to sit as sentry. This is about the time I can hear yelling outside, which I figured out was my instructor out there telling them they were disgusting f***in pigs, he was pissed they disobeyed an order yadda yadda. Next thing everybody comes bursting through the doors upstairs, stripping down as they are coming up the hall. He looks at me, says YOU!!!, go to lunch and enjoy it. I say yes Sgt and haul ass out of there. About 45 minutes later, long after I had finished lunch my course comes in. Anyways he apparently had them marking time for like 30 minutes outside the mess hall.

Moral of the story for the newbies reading this. Always do what the instructor tells you, even if it's impossible to meet the timing.


----------



## Zell_Dietrich

Eye In The Sky said:
			
		

> You did what?



darn typo ;-)  I want to blame that I was watching DW tv at the time...  

Although,  while in Gagetown .....


----------



## Eye In The Sky

MAMS_933 said:
			
		

> I remember one day after a PT session our instructor had joined us for. We get back to the shacks, told us we had like 8 minutes for everybody(56 troops) to get upstairs, changed, showered and back downstairs. Get dismissed haul *** upstairs, strip down and head to the shower. On my way there I notice everybody in the washroom getting a quick bird bath. I for some reason chose to go into the shower room, and as I walk through the door there is our Sgt standing there after getting a shower(nobody knew he had come up). He asks me where the f*** is everybody at? Not wanting to get in crap myself I told him(I know blade them all) at which time he says I'll fix them. He tells me to get a shower and to work as the weapons sentry while he goes back outside. I get my shower, go get dressed as everyone is running down the hall. I get dressed, go down the hall to sit as sentry. This is about the time I can hear yelling outside, which I figured out was my instructor out there telling them they were disgusting f***in pigs, he was pissed they disobeyed an order yadda yadda. Next thing everybody comes bursting through the doors upstairs, stripping down as they are coming up the hall. He looks at me, says YOU!!!, go to lunch and enjoy it. I say yes Sgt and haul *** out of there. About 45 minutes later, long after I had finished lunch my course comes in. Anyways he apparently had them marking time for like 30 minutes outside the mess hall.
> 
> Moral of the story for the newbies reading this. Always do what the instructor tells you, even if it's impossible to meet the timing.



Morale of the story from my point of view?  DON'T FUCK OVER EVERYBODY ELSE and then brag about how you DIDN'T join the rest of your coursemates while they are in the shit.  I'd of loved to have had a smuck like you on a BMQ I taught on back in the day,  Mr Special Treatment.

For the newbies reading the words of our 23 year old Pte who posted this, the BIGGER morale of the story from my perspective?

*Always cover your coursemates ass and don't blade them to make yourself look better.*  If you do, you should expect what you have coming to you.  Full stop.

So, then Mr Got-It-All-Figured-Out, you are trying to tell people that timings aren't important?  You're wrong.  Full stop.  Don't believe me??

Try remaining in an area that there is going to be an airstrike or arty at a specific time, stay there an extra 5 minutes.  You can explain to the families of the people you just killed that 'timings aren't important'.

For the new people, disregard the timings aren't important idea.  Its out to lunch.  I trained troops in places like CFLRS, Gagetown and I can state quite positively its important to follow orders AND meet timings.


----------



## fire_guy686

Eye In The Sky said:
			
		

> Morale of the story from my point of view?  DON'T frig OVER EVERYBODY ELSE and then brag about how you DIDN'T join the rest of your coursemates while they are in the crap.  I'd of loved to have had a smuck like you on a BMQ I taught on back in the day,  Mr Special Treatment.
> 
> For the newbies reading the words of our 23 year old Pte who posted this, the BIGGER morale of the story from my perspective?
> 
> *Always cover your coursemates *** and don't blade them to make yourself look better.*  If you do, you should expect what you have coming to you.  Full stop.
> 
> So, then Mr Got-It-All-Figured-Out, you are trying to tell people that timings aren't important?  You're wrong.  Full stop.  Don't believe me??
> 
> Try remaining in an area that there is going to be an airstrike or arty at a specific time, stay there an extra 5 minutes.  You can explain to the families of the people you just killed that 'timings aren't important'.
> 
> For the new people, disregard the timings aren't important idea.  Its out to lunch.  I trained troops in places like CFLRS, Gagetown and I can state quite positively its important to follow orders AND meet timings.



So I f**ked up. BMQ is the place where you make mistakes and learn from them so you don't do it again. Did I learn blading is not on. Yes. Did the rest learn to maybe take a shower next time(or at least check). Probably. I made the choice I thought was right at the time. Was this a stupid spot to post this story. Absolutely. Can't change it now though.

Maybe the real moral should be always check to make sure your effin Sgt isn't in the shower before taking a bird bath in the sink. 

To the newbies. Yes timings are very important. That was a foolish way to put that and disregard it. 

Well, now I have made myself out to be a total jackass!


----------



## Cardstonkid

Hey MAM's it's just BMQ, it's a game and anyone who gets their panties too twisted in a knot over it is usually the kind that isn't worth worrying about.  You all would have been jacked up regardless, It's BMQ, that's what's supposed to happen. It's a funny story, glad you posted it.


----------



## Eye In The Sky

Cardstonkid said:
			
		

> Hey MAM's it's just BMQ, it's a game and anyone who gets their panties too twisted in a knot over it is usually the kind that isn't worth worrying about.  You all would have been jacked up regardless, It's BMQ, that's what's supposed to happen. It's a funny story, glad you posted it.



There is no such thing as "just" when it comes to training young soldiers.  Shake your head.


----------



## RCR Grunt

Eye In The Sky said:
			
		

> There is no such thing as "just" when it comes to training young soldiers.  Shake your head.



... Are you serious right now?


----------



## Eye In The Sky

RCR Grunt said:
			
		

> ... Are you serious right now?




Sure am.  Building a good troop is like a building a house, no?  BMQ is the foundation.  You want guys in your platoon that are of the "me first" mentality?  Its gotta get weeded out somewhere.


----------



## RCR Grunt

Agreed.

But this is the "Favourite BMQ Memories" thread.

Not the "life lessons with uber-serious internet poster" thread.

Anyone using this site as a training aid should give their head a shake.


----------



## Eye In The Sky

Seen.

I just didn't want ppl to think that story was 'on' or 'cool'.   :blotto:


----------



## armyvern

MAMS_933 said:
			
		

> I remember one day after a PT session our instructor had joined us for. We get back to the shacks, told us we had like 8 minutes for everybody(56 troops) to get upstairs, changed, showered and back downstairs. Get dismissed haul ass upstairs, strip down and head to the shower. On my way there I notice everybody in the washroom getting a quick bird bath. I for some reason chose to go into the shower room, and as I walk through the door there is our Sgt standing there after getting a shower(nobody knew he had come up). He asks me where the f*** is everybody at? Not wanting to get in crap myself I told him(I know blade them all) at which time he says I'll fix them. He tells me to get a shower and to work as the weapons sentry while he goes back outside. I get my shower, go get dressed as everyone is running down the hall. I get dressed, go down the hall to sit as sentry. This is about the time I can hear yelling outside, which I figured out was my instructor out there telling them they were disgusting f***in pigs, he was pissed they disobeyed an order yadda yadda. Next thing everybody comes bursting through the doors upstairs, stripping down as they are coming up the hall. He looks at me, says YOU!!!, go to lunch and enjoy it. I say yes Sgt and haul ass out of there. About 45 minutes later, long after I had finished lunch my course comes in. Anyways he apparently had them marking time for like 30 minutes outside the mess hall.
> 
> Moral of the story for the newbies reading this. Always do what the instructor tells you, even if it's impossible to meet the timing.



I think it's a funny story, for what it's worth.

Think of it this way -- your instructor was IN the fucking shower -- it wasn't like he WASN'T going to notice that only you joined him.

You wouldn't have had to say a single word to him ... he'd still have known the others weren't there. Don't beat yourself up over it.

It's all good. It's BMQ.


----------



## fire_guy686

Cardstonkid said:
			
		

> Hey MAM's it's just BMQ, it's a game and anyone who gets their panties too twisted in a knot over it is usually the kind that isn't worth worrying about.  You all would have been jacked up regardless, It's BMQ, that's what's supposed to happen. It's a funny story, glad you posted it.



I know it was BMQ and that is why I'm not really too upset about it. The only reason I posted again was because I couldn't leave that one untouched. I guess he figured I should have known all the ways of the military in week two,which is when that happened. :  I don't know but I was always taught to be honest and not lie. My parents must have been crazy though.


----------



## fire_guy686

Just a girl ... said:
			
		

> I think it's a funny story, for what it's worth.
> 
> Think of it this way -- your instructor was IN the ******* shower -- it wasn't like he WASN'T going to notice that only you joined him.
> 
> You wouldn't have had to say a single word to him ... he'd still have known the others weren't there. *Don't beat yourself up over it.*
> 
> It's all good. It's BMQ.



My instructor seems to think it was funny as well, because any time I have seen him since that is one of the story's he remembers(along with getting drug down the road by an ML ). That was my whole thing. I was like well s*** do I lie to him or just tell him the truth. Being a newbie and not knowing the whole "blade" concept yet I did what I figured was right. 

I didn't lose any sleep over it.


----------



## Eye In The Sky

MAMS_933 said:
			
		

> I guess he figured I should have known all the ways of the military in week two,which is when that happened. :  I don't know but I was always taught to be honest and not lie. My parents must have been crazy though.



You didn't mention Week 2.  Ok, I think we've beaten this to death.  (FWIW, what your Instructor said pissed me off the most...).

Back on track with the humourous stories??


----------



## fire_guy686

Eye In The Sky said:
			
		

> You didn't mention Week 2.  *Ok, I think we've beaten this to death.*  (FWIW, what your Instructor said pissed me off the most...).
> 
> Back on track with the humourous stories??



I suppose that would have been valuable info to have eh??. I think he was more upset that he knew we could have done it with a bit of teamwork(because we had ten minutes the next time and made it with about a minute or so to spare) and just lost it. Knowing what I know now, I would have respectfully have declined the offer to go and eat and joined my course mates marking time but it's too late for that.


Anywho, back to the story's.


----------



## JAWS228

#1- Marching to the mess, our Sgt sees people from CFSAL running to get in front of our PL, turns to us and says :  Look at those fatties, I bet they havnt run that much since basic.  *turns to the CFSAL people* RUN FATTIES, RUN!!!!!  and puts us into double time.


 #2- roomate who puts his shirt on inside out and backwards....staff:  did you get dressed in the dark pte??
                                                                                                  :  yes mcpl..
                                                                                                  : try not to do that again....

#3- pte falls asleep....DURING the drill test....mcpl walks up, stands in front of him for a minute at least....then he starts snoring, mcpl hauls off and whacks him with his clipboard, the guy jumps 10 feet into the air....THAT was awesome.


----------



## traviss-g

I have yet to go to BMQ but this thread is the worst. It makes the waiting muuuuucccchhhhhh worse  .


----------



## Demitri

Well I havent done my BMQ yet but when I was getting sworn in there was a Pte. who came up to a Lt. and said " Sir, Can the regiment have a stag and doe?" The Lt. quickly responded with "No, the last time the Sergeants had a Stag and Doe doors were torn off and bent" the Pte quicky said yes sir and carried on.

BMQ Oct. 17th.


----------



## aesop081

Demitri said:
			
		

> Well I havent done my BMQ yet



Was the thread title confusing ?


----------



## Danjanou

CDN Aviator said:
			
		

> Was the thread title confusing ?



Almost makes you want to teach on his BMQ eh. >


----------



## Cooper

> I have yet to go to BMQ but this thread is the worst. It makes the waiting muuuuucccchhhhhh worse



I can completely sympathize with you, but with any luck you and I will be able to add our own experiences soon enough!


----------



## Raylee

1.) Finding a deer carcus and having my 2IC put the skull on a stick, making it talk.
2.) Discovering not to ever _EVER _ choose _Omelette and Salsa IMP_ for breakfast. 
3.) My MCpl telling a guy that he looks like he's been raped by a dragon.
4.) Having my instructor set off a paraflare which bounced off a tree and missed some kids by a couple of feet.


----------



## Mirta

1) When we were told to line up with our leave passes and one by one, march up to the paper shredder (proper drill), salute the machine, and feed the leave pass into it. It was _so_ hard not to laugh.

2) When we were being 'attacked' and our staff was playing enemy force... Sgt was running around like crazy and yelling "I want your women!" the whole time. And after the battle, the four females in our platoon were summoned to the staff tent. We got there and he was like "what are you doing here?" and we said "you asked for us, Sgt", and he answered "good... now beat it".


----------



## canadian_moose

1) I was section senior and was doing the whole walk through inspect write down points, anyways we get to one guy who usually gets jacked up for something everyday, so the mcpl is checking and gets to his towel to check if its labeled it was(the mcpl didn't consider it labeled unless it was facing the front).But being suspicious he checks the other side and there was another label, so the mcpl flips out "BLOGGINS WTF IS THIS YOU TRYING TO BEAT THE SYSTEM!!!" I could barely refrain from bursting out in laughter.


----------



## Toni Wyatt

Wow Hawk .. saw this after the other on the Tattoo.  You are who I thought!  I roared when I read what you had written above.  How well I remember Barb P****s!  She and I think Lee E***s (remember?  Lee's father & gf upper deck, one a legend in wartime RCN) were the two practicing in the dark.  They were trying to be quiet, but with no doors on our cabins, and their's right next to N's, they weren't doing a very good job of it.

If I recall rightly, I think it was also Barb who made the quip to N. after the 2h march.  What would we have done if she'd made us do it again!  Had that beeen N*******t (upper deck Wren), she would have sent us back out.  Lord that woman had it in for me for quite a while ... until the day I went after Lorraine H. with something akin to murder in my heart (another story).

We were the class of the 'Midnight Ironers' .. lol ..  between rounds.  Remember taking off our pjs to iron, as they too had to be included in the kit muster but weren't suppose to have even a tiny wrinkle or crease in them.  An upper deck always did rounds with one of our lot the night before a kit muster .. to make sure we were in our cots with our pjs on, heads on pillows, with the cases on them as well!


----------



## Toni Wyatt

To Hawk again ...

Do you remember when we were all called up, stood at attention, while being asked to own up to which one (or more) were blackballing the upper deck?  None of us knew what the heck PO & N****n were talking about.  Kept us like that for ages, with not a peep out of any of the 47 of us (Lorraine H****n was gone by then).  At long last, the MOST UNLIKELY of us, except maybe Scottie, quietly said, "It was me."  Margaret Ann A******e.  She was middle watch, bored out of her mind, afraid she was going to fall asleep (could be hung from the yardarm for that offence) .. in looking for something to do, it occurred to her that Christmas was exactly 4 months away.  By that time we'd have all gone in different directions, perhaps never to cross paths again.  It saddened her, so she decided to make Christmas trees for each cabin with a door .. of couse that left those of us on the lower deck out 'cause we didn't have them on our cabins, though PO & N did.  Next rounds, she put the trees up.  Trees looked kind of bare, so back in the reg office she hunted around for paper of another colour.  All she could find was black (can't recall if it was actually carbon paper) .. it would have to do as Christmas tree ornaments.  She cut out loads of them.  Next rounds, she stuck them on all the trees.  She had the purest of intentions ... they were positive they'd been blackballed.


----------



## TimBit

A number of good memories came up but that one is my best:

Lined up in the flats during inspection, and some poor sod had left his underwear on a hook in the men's shower room (it _MIGHT_ have been me...  :-X ). One of our PO's put the underwear on the end of a mop and walked up and down the flats solemnly while we got yelled at by another instructor. Classic...


----------



## Toni Wyatt

Thinking of my days in NET made me recall my Mum telling me about her first morning after arriving for basic. The prior few years had been spent in a convent, as her eldest sister was an Army Nursing Sister, one brother was in the Army, one brother RN, father RAF and mother was dead.  Every morning at the convent, immediately after rising, they had to go down on their knees and say:  Jesus, Mary & Joseph, I give you my life.

In 1943, upon her 16th birthday, Mum signed up with the WRNS, arriving for basic one early evening, dead beat from the trip.  Cabins and bunks were quickly assigned, then soon afterwards all were fast asleep.  Wakey-wakey piped in pitch black ...  Mum immediately threw herself out of bed to go down on her knees with the usual:  Jesus, Mary & Joseph, I give you my life.

She said; " .. and I almost did ... I was in a top bunk."


----------



## Hawk

Toni - great stories! I'd forgotten about the blackballing incident! Great times, and lasting memories!

Hawk


----------



## Hawk

Toni-

Sorry the last message was so short - the phone rang. I forgot what I wrote in the past - the black lace panties incident? the UNTD's coming through the ironing room window? Water fights, toilet papering PO's door. I'll PM you the life details a little later - have to go to the bank.

Hawk


----------



## medicineman

I was able to imitate one of my MCpl's so well people would all but crap their pants if I snuck up behind them and started talking like him...one morning in about 7th week, one of the platoon drunks was sleeping in at around 0900 when everyone was up working, so I got somone to call room, and then yelled "(Name of person), what the Jesus are you still doing in bed at this un Godly hour?".  Dude in question is about 6'4" and in the bottom bunk - he literally levitated in a horizontal position and snapped up to attention in his gonch, white as a sheet...Same guy on our grad night was put intot he shower, in his CF's, by one of our jokers.  So buddy is showering away in his S3's when our platoon WO and one of his minions wanders in.  "So and So, what the f*&k are you doing in the shower in uniform??!!"  The MCpl was giggling, then lost it when numb nuts looks up, flips the WO the bird and suggested he commit an impossible sexual act upon himself...apparently he was on extras for a week after he started battle school.

MM


----------



## ekpiper

A couple of my favourite moments:

1:  While on the field-ex during BMQ, a MCpl who always picked on Pte Bloggins calls out 

"Pte. Bloggins, are you sleeping?"  

Pte. Bloggins responds "Yes."

MCpl retorts "Yes who?"

Bloggins corrects himself "Yes, Master!"

2:  The day following a weekend off, another Pte. leaves his guitar out after our civvy kit is locked up for the week, so he tries to hide it under his bed.  Immediately, our Platoon Warrant finds it, and makes him play and sing Christmas songs for the rest of the inspection.


----------



## Alpheus

Doing PT with one of our MS.  He's demonstrating an exercise, and calls one of us forward.  The guy replies "sup?"  The MS asks "What did you say?"  "sup, master seaman."

The same MS takes his section out at Farnham for the plane-crash mission.  They march for like 5km to the plane wreckage, at 2AM and in the driving rain.  They get and find it deserted, no injured pilots, no bad guys.  Turns out it was the wrong plane.  The one they were supposed to be at was literally across the road from the FOB. 

My section Sgt was one of the best pistol shots in the country, having won loads of competitions, including the US Army marksmanship competition.  Anyway,  one of us over a weekend goes online and googles his name.  He finds a nice picture of the Sgt, this one in fact: http://www.mdn.ca/site/commun/ml-fe/images/articles/fullSize/11-36-20d.jpg
So he prints off a dozen copies and the whole section has them in our picture frames for the next inspection.  Priceless.

We're on the final day of Farnham, and the whole platoon is just going nuts with ammo expenditure.  My FTP is having a rough time, jamming on what seems like every second shot.  So one of our staff yells at me for some reason, "You shoot like old people f**k, slow and sloppy!!"

During a morning inspection, one guy thinks the inspection is over so he rushes to the toilet to take a well-needed dump.  Little does he know the WO hasn't inspected the washroom yet.  Hilarity ensures. 

We're practicing tying swiss seats one day, and another of our Sgt's grabs a guys carabiner and pulls straight up.  Hard.  The guys feet leave the ground.  The Sgt walks away and says 'Nice seat, Pte bloggins", while he's staggering around clutching his groin.

So many great memories.........


----------



## lennoj

On my course the staff gave us a quote to recite during PT when instructed too.

Instructor: Why do we do PT?

Course: To Feed the warrior within!

Instructor: Why do we feed the warrior?

Course: To kill the weakness within!

Anyways, one morning, the usual sleep f***ed candidate was asked individually why do we do PT. he replied with "for sex appeal MBdr" at the top of his lungs. The MBdr couldnt hold back his smile and we continued to PT. Suffice to say, that was the first time on my bmq that we did not receive *C*onfirmation* O*f *C*ombat *K*nowledge for a wrong answer.

Does anyone have any good sleep deprivation stories from crse?


----------



## mysteriousmind

Mine is priceless...we were on shooting range, in Valcartier,  The  CSM arrives, I'm a recruit, watching the gate...
I don't know who is is and my  SGT told me to  let no one on the range unless he authorised it...So i stop his truck 
and ask him who is he...and he start yelling at me...telling me i should know who he was... blablabla...

The funny thing is that the guy has no apparent neck...his head is huge...and  as he is screaming shit and scaring me
shit out of me...my Sgt arrives running...he had heard the CSM's screams over 300m away....

he let the CSM in...and CSM went to do his stuff.. and again a few minutes ago I hear the guy scream again about 
the same thing to someone else....

No need to metion that during the evening we had a "talk" with our WO...explain us...to know who were the staff 
around...doing push up and laughing about the situation.


----------



## yoman

Alpheus said:
			
		

> My section Sgt was one of the best pistol shots in the country, having won loads of competitions, including the US Army marksmanship competition.  Anyway,  one of us over a weekend goes online and googles his name.  He finds a nice picture of the Sgt, this one in fact: http://www.mdn.ca/site/commun/ml-fe/images/articles/fullSize/11-36-20d.jpg
> So he prints off a dozen copies and the whole section has them in our picture frames for the next inspection.  Priceless.



That's awesome! He was one of the section commanders on my BMOQ course last summer. I could just imagine his reaction to that... hehe


----------



## SupersonicMax

My favorite memory?  Leaving the darn place.


----------



## Alpheus

yoman said:
			
		

> That's awesome! He was one of the section commanders on my BMOQ course last summer. I could just imagine his reaction to that... hehe



He kept his poker face pretty solid for the most part, but had to leave quickly before we all saw him grinning. 

We didn't get an "Outstanding", but it was worth an "Well holy......".


----------



## VIChris

On night one, about hour three, a Sgt. was walking past my room. He saw my name, exclaimed "Holy crap!" and stormed into the room. "Which one of you is Pte. *****?" "I am (awkward stare at his slip on while my brain slowly translated 3 hooks into) sergeant!" I replied. "Are you Scottish?" He asks, still in a stern Sgt. tone. I answered "vaguely." He stood, staring blankly at me, then asked "What the f*** is that supposed to mean?" I told him I was somewhat Scottish on my dad's side of the family. Turns out he wanted to know if I was a C Scott, as there is a VC winner, originally of the C Scotts who was a private with the same name as me. 

As I write that one out, I realize it may be one of those "you had to be there" moments, but I had a good chuckle about it.



One of the dudes in the room next to mine had sandals made of hemp. Apparently the 'hemp' logo was visible along the top of the sandals. One morning during inspection, our Section Commander saw it and launched into a larger than normal tirade.

"What the F*** is this Private *******? Goddamned dope sandals? Are you some kind of hippie? What do you do with these things? Roll them up and smoke them after a long day? OR do you just get high wearing them around?!?!?!?" 

Now, generally we would play games with the room across the hall, each room trying to get the other to laugh out loud during an inspection, but this particular morning we pretty both lost. 


The same MCpl orchestrated a pretty fantastic kit bomb one day too, when one room left their door unlocked during a classroom session. As we were all paraded along the hallway to survey the damage, I let out a big impressed whistle. The MCpl heard this and delivered a surprisingly accurate Sgt. Hartmann routine. I got the whole "You will unf*** yourself, or I will unscrew your head and crap down your neck!" I'm glad my back was to him as I giggled my *** off moving down the hallway.


Last of the standouts for me was the 'Dance of Shame' orchestrated by one of our MCpls. He had one of the recruits do it any time we all screwed up. It was a pretty shameful looking soft shoe shuffle, head held low, eyes staring at the ground. "You! Dance of shame. Do this now!" So hard not to laugh through this one too.


----------



## bradlema

Haha, I remember when we went out on a cam mission. One guy fell asleep in the field. The whole course went out looking for him. Took about an hour before we realized he slowly staggered back to base without notifying anyone. haha. We all got in shit for that one.


----------



## AP

One of my favorite memories was also one of my first, on the first night and it was hard to sleep, anyway just as I was about to fall asleep, another private, started yelling in his sleep, at the top of his lungs WHERE ARE THE COOKIES! GIMMIE THE COOKIES! We all had a good laugh at that, and for the rest of the course, his nickname was cookies.


----------



## McD

This thread is my new streetcar reading. Im getting excited and worried at the same time, keep them comming!!


----------



## Miss.Meteo

So many!

Hmm being drunk and walking pass the green desk while trying to march properly.

saluting a captain while in civies?

First day in BMQ this guy calls a Mcpl ''General Chief" and salutes him

My Mcpl throwing an artillery improv. near the shacks in Farnham but he broke a window, we almost died of a heart attack

''Good morning. This morning you will f****ng puke your guts out trust me! LET'S GO'' My Sgt would say this to us EVERY morning before PT

"Pte **** Was there a fu***g gang bang in your room? You saying you're reading for inspection?!"

During the obstacle course '' Pte ****** low profile not stripper profile!"

Gas chamber for sure.

The feeling I had during my parade. I was so damn proud of what I had accomplished.

Going to the CFLS actually, was hilarious.

Meeting great people.

Funniest inspections ever by my staff.

Horror in Farnham but we would always end up laughing to tears in our tents

and many more...


----------



## chapelle989

-me and my fire team partner doing stupid stuff to try and raise moral like telling the mcpls we're scared on our night nav cus its dark or asking them for a sip of their coffee... we get jacked up of course

-watching one of the sgt's make a fat kid scream i love cake while the rest of his section held the pushup positon

-getting issued steel toe airforce boots for our whole bmq, bad blisters.

-my fireteam partner was being inspected by a WO, my buudy thought he looked funny and laughed in his face... the warrent told him if he didnt stop laughing he would make sure he would never smile again


----------



## Cat

Coming off PAT/AWT and being course senior for 2 courses of Week 0 recruits. I have NEVER in my life been more proud to see a graduation parade. It's an amazing transformation that you get to watch, I think that in some ways CFLRS staff have some of the most rewarding jobs in the CF to watch recruits walk through those green doors luggage in hand, scared as anything and watch them to the point where they are so proud to pass an inspection, a drill test and that final day where they march off that parade square as graduates.... I know even from the sidelines it was amazing to watch.

Also a few things that happened in the PAT trailers that shall never be posted in a public forum  As much as it sucked I met alot of amazing people on PAT!


----------



## Cat

double post - sorry


----------



## bran

SupersonicMax said:
			
		

> My favorite memory?  Leaving the darn place.



Agreed


----------



## LineJumper

V-sitting at the direction of my instructor in the Jewel of the Annapolis Valley after lunch one day because I decided on a second desert. Mmmmmm, Jello..... Nom nom nom.


----------



## aesop081

ONT said:
			
		

> Agreed



So you remember leaving St-Jean too ?


----------



## safeboy43

*Inspection:*

MCPL: "Pte, are you trying to grow a moustache?"  

PTE: "No Mcpl!"

MCPL: "Then shave that fucking thing off! You look like a fucking gay pornstar!..........Not that there's anything wrong with that."


----------



## RogersD

Putting a pink razor, some sort of pink guava shaving cream, and a panda bear toothbrush in my drawer for one of the inspections half way through the course. There was no way we were going to pass the room inspection and they made such a fuss about it that they didn't notice the other mishaps in the room. I was "Rogers the Queer" for the remainder of the course... great fun!


----------



## multihobbist

I guess this will be a bit of an entertainment for people.
In my BMQ, I was standing at attention at the side of my cot for inspection.
We had a bird inside the gym we used as our quarters at the time.
I could see my sect commander approaching then the shadow of the bird flying just
over me and I heard something wet on my chest something sticky on my uniform. 

I literally got crapped on by a bird, as the sect commander was approaching me.

He had a really hard time keeping straight face but he managed to yell at me for having bird crap on my uniform.
First he looked at me and tried not to laugh and turned back for a moment then came the jacking.
"You will not disgrace my uniform by having bird **** on it! You have two minutes after this inspection to go get the bird **** your **** shirt or you will be cleaning it with your mouth next time I see it!"


----------



## AgentSmith

My favorite memory would have to be watching a MCpl jack up our course officer on BMQ-L. Here's the story:

We were out on a field ex in lovely old Meaford and had practiced field craft and nav all day and finally got to crawl into our hoochies to get some sleep. But then before the crack of dawn we got an arty drill. So we packed out stuff up and ran to our form up point. Well one guy on course decided his MP3 player was more important than his rifle and he left it behind. He asked if he could go back and get it and ran off into the woods. It was a cool morning so we all had our jackets on and our hoods up so it was hard to tell who was who. Our course officer was in the front rank just a bit in front of us and was around the same build and height of the guy who forgot his rifle. One MCpl came up to him and got right in his face. This is how the conversation went:

MCpl: Don't you ever forget for f***ing rifle! (and proceeded to yell and rant for a little bit)
2Lt: Um...it's me MCpl
MCpl Oh...sorry sir 0_o; But whoever that was you heard me to!  :rage: 


It was all we could do to keep from bursting out laughing.


----------



## MPwannabe

I was getting all of my kit on before we went to the field, and my flashlight was on my shoulder harness. The 2IC came behind me and unhooked it and let it fall, I thought it was a buddy and called him a douchebag before I turned around. When I turned around and realized what I'd done I apologized to the point of begging. He told me to get a pen and paper and write out two paragraphs on the definition of 'douchebag'. 
When we got to the field later that day, I had to read the definition out to the entire course and then I spent the entire night digging trenches, and carrying the dirt 30ft away in order to hide it. That was the day before we started our 'sleep deprivation' portion of the course. 
Needless to say, I was hallucinating quite a bit by the end of the week.


----------



## FutureQYR

A couple weeks into BMQ, formed up ready for inspection, the guy next to me sneezed while one MCpl. passed by:

Mcpl: "What the **** was that? Did you just sneeze Pte. _______?, Is that a new drill movement? One, sneeze, two, three?!"

At that moment I just couldn't hold the laughter in and all the spit that I had let build up in my mouth went projectile all over the instructor who was at that moment directly infront of me. Ive never went from laughing to damn near cowering in fear so fast in my life. Luckily he thought it was almost as funny as I did and had to try his best not to laugh aswell. 

After that he always covered his face when passing by me during inspection.


----------



## ringknocker82

- being told to 'f*** the shut up' by my favourite Vandoo section commander 
- standing at 'present arms' for 45+ mins because, well, just because
- doing change parade up and down umpteen flights of stairs at the MEGA
- the food at the MEGA, yuk, still can't look at a Pogo without my gag reflex kicking in :S
- graduation


----------



## OneMissionataTime

YOU BRING YOUR KNEE THIS HIGH OFFICER CADET !!!!! FROM THE TOP.... I'M A BARBIE GIRL IN THE BARBIE WORLD!!
(While doing drill movements, in front of the platoon... Singing the song)


----------



## LCIS Tech 2011

One of the best I can remember was doing in reserve BMQ (QL2?) Back in 2000 with the G&SF out of Barrie, ON. 


We were formed up on the parade square with our backs to the wall while our M/Cpl was inspecting our canteens to check they were full. For every canteen that wasn't, he would hurl it over his shoulder as hard as he could, not bothering to look who was behind him. 

At the time our Armory cleaner was busy using a floor buffer cleaning the parade square. Needless to say, He hurls a mostly full canteen and manages to hit her square in the side of the head, knocking her out like a sack of potatoes. We could all see it happen, but he had his back to it. The look on his face as he slowly turned around was priceless. 

She managed to get away with a few weeks off paid and a very serious concussion   >


----------



## Rafterman1

During the OC inspection:

OC- "Who is the Prime Minister of Canada?" to the recruit.
Recruit- "Steeeve?.. Sir."


----------



## OneMissionataTime

Haha... I just remembered a really good one.. From an RCD Sergeant.. We are formed up in the Parade Square.

Sgt. "O.Cdt Bloggins, What is the role of the armoured?" 

Officer Cadet. "To protect the sanctity and chastity of Infantry, Sergeant?!?"

Sgt. "By, God.. I think we have our next CLS!!."


----------



## Fanfreluche

Like many I decided to join and am both  scared and eager to go to BMQ

so to those who finished bmq.. tell me  your best memories.. or the worse
how did it go for you... did you went to hell and back.. did you had fun.. 
many memories are made and i would love to hear about them.


----------



## 211RadOp

Here are 14 pages of memories.

http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/45553.0.html

Search is a wonderful tool.


----------



## Audrain

Hahaha, some stories cracked me up. Right now at CFSME and reading these with other instructors.
Did my course in late '03

Friday, Oct 31. Everyone shows up in uniform. One guy wants to leave the course, so decides to bring no kit whatsoever and be wearing his halloween costume: Robin Hood. He missed his party and had one of his own with standards.

Vandoo instructor was on diet. Each sets of jumping jacks we did were anywhere between 700 and 1300, and that continued on our SQ.

I was senior and was saying "mcpl" all weekend. On Sunday morning, Sgt asks me a question "yes, mcpl sgt!". I excused myself and he said "ok, wtf". He later asks me how my exam on weapons handling is doing. "I believe I have 1 left to do *look on paper*. 1 left to do, sgt". He gave me a piece of his mind for not knwoing his rank thinking I was checking his rank rrather than my paper. Few weeks later grad party, he offers me a job as a freelance graphic designer.

So as all BMQ course, we have some ex-cadets. one of them decides to be a smartass about it to the rest of the section, even with the instructors. It would have probably served him well if he was actually good.

during inspection, one of our space cadets from the section gets asked to "show us his warcry". 
"MCPL!"
"no, a warcry. yell!"
*about as loud as i would say aaaw at a doctor's office*
instructor turns to me "show me your warcry"
(hesitant) "How do you want it Mcpl?"
"just a yell, you know, during war and you're attacking your enemies"
*insert manliest warcry a 150lb 22yo could do*
instructor turns to buddy "your turn"
"MCPL!!!!"
instructor proceeds to rest of section
The guy finished the course but quit the army right after. His name was actually pronounced hasard (in french)

Firedrill, some people actually take their time to put on their uniforms and tie their boots   :facepalm:

So we're in the classroom and instructor tells us to not write any notes and take extra attention at what he's saying. At middle of the lecture, he stops, walks to one of the candidates writing in his notebook. He picks it up and says "stupid boring course pipi caca... I want to kill myself... oh look there's a picture of a unicorn or something. you have no drawing talent" We thought he was kidding, but later found out that he was reading word for word what was written in the book. The guy did not finish his course, decided to quit after he was sent to the WO's office.


----------



## SarahRad

I only made it to week 4 before I got injured and put on AWT where I currently am, but that was still plenty of time to have some great stories.

During drill class two of the guys in the back start snickering and the Sgt comes over demanding to know what's so funny. The first guy refuses to say for about a minute before admitting "I passed gas." The Franco Sgt didn't understand the phrase though, so after repeating it twice more, the recruit says loudly "I FARTED, SGT." Everyone was laughing after that.

While getting jacked up for something I can't remember, the Master Seaman demanded to hear our platoon song, which at that point wasn't finished and only like 2 people knew any part of it. He demanded we sing or we'd do wall squats, so we all just automatically moved into the wall squat position. The Master Sean was blown away. "You'd rather do wall squats!? Just sing a fucking song!" So we all burst out into various renditions of happy birthday, twinkle twinkle little star, the alphabet etc, before she'll be coming round the mountain won out. He made us sing it three times before we could stand up again. 

During a weekend informal inspection on I think our second weekend, one guy came out into the hallway wearing his combats and flip flops. I guess he figured since we were on our floor, flip flops were fine. We did a lot of wall squats after that.


----------



## Spimx

SarahRad said:
			
		

> During drill class two of the guys in the back start snickering and the Sgt comes over demanding to know what's so funny. The first guy refuses to say for about a minute before admitting "I passed gas." The Franco Sgt didn't understand the phrase though, so after repeating it twice more, the recruit says loudly "I FARTED, SGT." Everyone was laughing after that.



Lol can't stop laughing hahahahaha


----------



## BorisK

BEEFY06 said:
			
		

> Well i think we can all remember some good , funny and bad points. Here i will bring up what stands out the most in my mind.
> 
> ___ My parents drove me to the front gate of Cornwallis in Jan/04( till this day, i still think it was the coldest winter there.) And all i can hear is this Commissioner laughing at me and saying" Looks like we got another stupid one"...



This made me laugh.


----------



## Hawk

BMQ will come back to haunt you!

I was in the Navy in the deep, dark past; when they called us women WRENS, when we didn't double, wore skirts, and white gloves with our summer uniforms. Really, such a time existed, and to set the record straight - I couldn't have survived the current BMQ, even when I was 18!

A few of us were in the laundry room in Conestoga Block, Cornwallis, just before Lights Out, when one of the girls started to scream! There was the white uniformed leg of a University Naval Training Division guy sticking in through the laundry room window - and the noise of several other drunk UNTDs behind him. She screamed, they all left - no report was made and no harm ensued to anyone. That was July or August, 1966.

Now I'm living in Halifax, 48 years later and one of my activities is Taoist Tai Chi. In talking to one of my instructors one day, he told me he'd been a UNTD, and further questioning revealed he'd been in Cornwallis in July and August, 1966. I asked him about the "raid" on Wren Block, and asked him if he'd been there. He answered, "No-o-o-o", in a highly suspicious manner! He lies!!!


Hawk


----------



## Spimx

Hawk said:
			
		

> Now I'm living in Halifax, 48 years later and one of my activities is Taoist Tai Chi. In talking to one of my instructors one day, he told me he'd been a UNTD, and further questioning revealed he'd been in Cornwallis in July and August, 1966. I asked him about the "raid" on Wren Block, and asked him if he'd been there. He answered, "No-o-o-o", in a highly suspicious manner! He lies!!!
> 
> 
> Hawk



I think he was the leg sticking from the window lol


----------



## Fishbone Jones

Getting on the bus to leave Cornhollis after our Grad party.


----------



## medicineman

Sitting in a squad O Group one evening in about 6th or 7th week and dude next to me keeps falling asleep...the MBdr finally had enough, so yelled " Pte Dolt, hang from the chinup bar until I'm done!!"  Dolt gets up hangs from the bar...the Bomber rambles on.  Next thing I know, there's snoring coming from the back, the Bomber's head comes up from his notes and he absolutely snaps..."DOLT!!! WAKE THE F&^K UP!!"  We all turn and lo and behold, dude was passed out hanging from the chinup bar...his feet off the floor surprisingly.

MM


----------



## genesis563

On my BMQ, while we were out in Farnham for the field portion. We had this one navy guy who dropped one of his mortar gloves in a chem toilet. Instead of filling out a lost report he decided to grab the glove and put it on. When he finally took it off and the instructors saw that his hand was stained blue, he was made to sing the smurfs theme song as a battle cry instead.


----------



## Marchog

I already have a few, but I'll wait until I'm out of BMQ before spilling them on this forum.  ;D


----------



## Ariconius

It was a frosty Friday morning in October at St. Jean. I was at my breaking point after taking an entire week of cock as course senior. We go for PT and as we are lined up in the hall outside the PSP office I get everyone to check to make sure that nobody has forgotten their running shoes like yesterday. To my amazement we had all our kit - wait... shit I forgot to bring my track pants!

I walk into the PSP office and get the brief to give to the platoon, when they get to dress state I interrupt the PSP lady and get down on my knees and beg them to make the dress state be shorts so that I can avoid one last jacking. The course Sergeant walks in to see what is taking so long, he sees me on my knees and gives me this look. The PSP crew keeps my secret and I make up some BS excuse to the Sgt as to why it looks like I am proposing to the PSP lady.

I ran out to the hall and relayed the information about are run, and as I was jogging into the changeroom I yelled, "dress state is sweatshirt and shorts!"

There was a good deal of cursing during the run, it was only after the day was finished that I told everyone that shorts were my call not the PSP.


----------



## ZacheryK

Ariconius said:
			
		

> It was a frosty Friday morning in October at St. Jean. I was at my breaking point after taking an entire week of **** as course senior. We go for PT and as we are lined up in the hall outside the PSP office I get everyone to check to make sure that nobody has forgotten their running shoes like yesterday. To my amazement we had all our kit - wait... crap I forgot to bring my track pants!
> 
> I walk into the PSP office and get the brief to give to the platoon, when they get to dress state I interrupt the PSP lady and get down on my knees and beg them to make the dress state be shorts so that I can avoid one last jacking. The course Sergeant walks in to see what is taking so long, he sees me on my knees and gives me this look. The PSP crew keeps my secret and I make up some BS excuse to the Sgt as to why it looks like I am proposing to the PSP lady.
> 
> I ran out to the hall and relayed the information about are run, and as I was jogging into the changeroom I yelled, "dress state is sweatshirt and shorts!"
> 
> There was a good deal of cursing during the run, it was only after the day was finished that I told everyone that shorts were my call not the PSP.



So you screwed your buddies to avoid a jacking? Or am I way out of 'er? ???


----------



## tactical_canada

I did my BMQ at CFB Esquimalt. My favourite memory was the morning run, watching the sun rise over the harbour. Made me thankful I wasn't doing morning PT in snow, like other provinces.


----------



## BeyondTheNow

Inspections, Inspections, Inspections. They're a hoot…every…single…time! I really wish I would've kept a journal of the stories. I personally enjoyed inspections, because I didn't find them overly difficult/stressful. Those who were disorganized, unkempt, inept…Yeah, some great stories.

As much as I hate to admit it, yes, some of the sunrises were breathtaking. I learned to take from the beauty what I could to balance out the crap.

Food. Most meals were really pretty good.

Drill. I enjoyed drill…For the most part. (I was good at it. How do I know? Because I never got jacked up. UnTIL I was issued my C7. Drill took a nose-dive fairly quickly for a while after that…But it was still fun.)


----------



## Mister Donut

I know this has probably been done in just about every BMQ, but calling "group!" in the showers or $hitters.  Did it a few time on my BMQ and BMQ-L, never gets old, lol!


----------



## VIChris

The morning of our grad parade, we were all still pie-eyed from our course party the night before. 0600 a garbage can is booted down the hall as usual, and we all double (stumble) down to the parade square and form up for what was looking like some enthusiastic PT. We detoured from our usual route about a minute into the run, and ended up at a Milverado stocked up with coffee and donuts. We got to shake the hangovers with the staff and watch the sunrise before final prep. It was a good day.


----------



## BorisK

Two that come to mind :

1) in Farnham 2 (final weeks) a guy who wasn't coping to well went to bed in his hooch after a long day/night, and a half hour later the instructors threw up an arty sim and called 'stand to!'.  He couldn't manage to get his clothes on in a timely manner... In fact he was so slow he didn't even have clothes on after the full 20 minutes worth of sitting at defensive positions.  The great part came when the staff called for us to stand down and clear our rifles : while everyone else was using the clearing bays, he just gave up on getting dressed, so he started to potato sac hop his way over to the clearing bays - naked, with a rifle on his back, and his sleeping bag pulled up to his tits.    The instructors lost it on him... He tried hoping by them but they screamed at him so bad the CDS in Ottawa probably heard it lol.  

2) Getting back from Farnham,  a week away from graduating, and it is time to walk over to the drill hall to start to practice for our parade.  Seconds before we march, it goes from sunny and beautiful to rain and eventually to hail so hard it's cutting our faces and we are soaked to the bone including socks.  As we arrive within steps of the drill hall the weather turns back to normal, complete with shining sun and birds chirping.   Great way to wrap up the 3 months.  

3 - bonus memory)  the friggin' vending machines.... So many times being ripped off by those damn things.


----------



## Alpha dog

I must say, I really enjoyed reading all this...here are a few of my most memorable moments about basic (hoping to revive this thread)

Back in 2002...Section standing at attention while Mcpl is inspecting the bathrooms...
All we could hear was : WHAT THE Fu*k!!! WHAT THE Fu*K!! .....(Swearing went on and on...)
then we see the Mcpl coming out of the bathroom holding something in his hand : WHO THE Fu*k LEFT A PUBIC HAIR ON THE TOILET??!!
we paid for it

We had a guy on the course who's a sleep walker. One night, fire-picket saw him showering with his combats on...woke up wondering why he was wet. Same dude crawled in the course officer's houtch to sleep beside him...
I think this guy's army career was very short since he was a potential threat to himself and to others.

Had a guy in my section who slept with his eyes open....quiet freaky


----------



## holieee

A fire team in our section got tied together because they were caught seperated in field (one member was throwing garbage out from lunch, his FTP was 100 feet away). While we were in ack-ack, and they were still tied together, one was swearing about being tied up while the other was in hysterics and laughing, we march along and all of a sudden we hear, "PTUNG.flipflipflipflip". The FTP who was grumbling, his magazine spring popped and 30 rounds spilled to the ground. My fire team partner and I were behind them so we scrambled to help pick them up and quickly reload before we got in poop. Our RCR sergeant came over and said, "20 plus years in the infantry and not once have I ever seen something like this"
We were all in hysterics after this, except for my buddy who was even more pissed off after. LOL

I loved this thread before I joined, and I have so many funny stories of my own. This was one of my favourites.


----------



## OldSolduer

1975 at CFRS Cornwallis.

One of our brethern bought about 15 cups of orange pop and placed it in the bottom of his locker.

We closed his doors and snapped the lock shut.....he was not happy.... >


----------



## BinRat55

Yes, Cornwallis. It wasn't called BMQ back then - it was called "Hell". And man we had a helluva time!!

A good few of my stories would probably only be understood by the older "recruits" here! Like the dude who decided to leave on his own... by way of the bay! Or ipecac in the oranges at the top of Heartbreak hill?


----------



## Steve_D

I did mine back in 86 in Chilliwack. My favorite was forgetting my name tag (something we all did at least once) and when the Sgt asked me where it was, my mouth worked before my brain did and I replied "don't need it sarge, I memorized it". At grad, he told me that he had the toughest time keeping a straight face as he had never heard that response before.


----------

