# kids



## vanderkalin (4 Mar 2016)

Ok. This is my first post here, I've been reading and keeping my mouth shut. Looks like I'm going to get infantry if my background check goes well. I'm an older guy and I have a great wife and 2 awesome daughters of 4 and 7. I was going to remain silent for the forsee able future, but something happened last night that has forced my hand. I was watching something on YouTube,  some mountain training on truth duty Valor,  and my 7 yo daughter caught some of it. She thought it was cool, then she said" but you probably couldn't join the army dad". I asked why not and she said " you could get killed".  Can I get some input from you fine dudes on how to handle that discussion  if I get the offer? My instinct is to not lie to my kids, but I'm a little bit unsure here. Ideas? Pros and cons? Thanks.


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## PuckChaser (4 Mar 2016)

You could get killed crossing the street, it's all your perspective. A 7 yo won't be able to really understand the risks, anyways.


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## AbdullahD (4 Mar 2016)

I would find out the mortality statistics for Canadian Forces personnel,  then translate it to something she can understand. 

Also if the missus is worried, look at the rates diseases and or terminal illnesses. Find which ones are largely due to lifestyle choices, show how the Canadian forces could be a proactive lifestyle choice to combat those issues.

Or... what have you. I drive cab and the sheer amount of WCB and ICBC claimants I see weekly astounds me. Sure you could get shot, but a drunk driver could do you in too. At least in the Armed forces, you can fight back.

Abdullah


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## vanderkalin (4 Mar 2016)

I'll clarify. I'm fully aware of the risks. And my wife, while not ok with the idea of my death, understands my reasons and is behind me. What I'd really like is some opinions on how to talk to a 7 year old about it from people who have had to. Thanks for the replies so far though.


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## GAP (4 Mar 2016)

Just explain that lots of people have jobs where they could get hurt. 

Police, fireman, construction worker, etc......but it does not happen very often, nor does it to army guys...

Explain that there's lots of training and everybody plays pretty safe, but sometimes kids get hurt on the playground too.....


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## Loachman (4 Mar 2016)

I managed to do this for forty-three years and didn't get killed, and I am part of the vast majority. The odds are very much in your favour.

I also had a great time while not getting killed.

Tell her "Loachman says 'don't worry'".


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## vanderkalin (4 Mar 2016)

You know what Loach man?  Somewhere in the conversation, I will tell her that. Thanks.


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## Sub_Guy (4 Mar 2016)

Kids.  I wear a flight suit every day (apparently not cool in the eyes of kids) and the second I put on my CADPAT for my IAEQ course my kids lost their minds.  They were pumped because they thought I was a real soldier.   You would have thought the Stanley Cup was just brought into the house.  

Maybe I can lend you my kids and when they flip their minds when they see a "real soldier" your kids will follow....


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## Blackadder1916 (4 Mar 2016)

She's a seven year old!  How serious a discussion can you have?  If you want to have her relate to the difficulty and reality of military service, tell her to go clean her room and make her bed - then pull off the bedding and tell her to make it again.  While you are comforting her after that, tell her that is your biggest worry and probably the worst that will happen; during training, someone is going to that to you.  Oh, also have her shine shoes.


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## krimynal (4 Mar 2016)

if she does a good job at shoe shinning, you might even get her to shine your's too ! haha


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## DAA (4 Mar 2016)

Seeing as you are only in the application stages and yet to receive an offer of employment, you might find this article of interest.  It's not Canadian based and directed more towards US Armed Services deployments but still, it may be your first time away from the homestead as a member of the CF if you are successful in receiving that call.

Not a deployment perse, but definitely a deployment away from the family home.

http://www.military.com/spouse/military-deployment/dealing-with-deployment/help-child-cope-with-parents-deployment.html


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## daftandbarmy (4 Mar 2016)

DAA said:
			
		

> Seeing as you are only in the application stages and yet to receive an offer of employment, you might find this article of interest.  It's not Canadian based and directed more towards US Armed Services deployments but still, it may be your first time away from the homestead as a member of the CF if you are successful in receiving that call.
> 
> Not a deployment perse, but definitely a deployment away from the family home.
> 
> http://www.military.com/spouse/military-deployment/dealing-with-deployment/help-child-cope-with-parents-deployment.html



Good stuff.

Also, FWIW, unlike the 'olden days', everyone has lots of chances to connect with family while they're away on training/ deployment via phone/video/Skype/Facebook etc etc etc.


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## vanderkalin (4 Mar 2016)

Yeah, and I've been away in camp before, she made it through. I just didn't expect to hear " because you might die" from my 7 year old. Threw me for a bit of a wobbly, it did. I'll figure it out. Thanks for the replys.


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## DAA (4 Mar 2016)

vanderkalin said:
			
		

> Yeah, and I've been away in camp before, she made it through. I just didn't expect to hear " because you might die" from my 7 year old. Threw me for a bit of a wobbly, it did. I'll figure it out. Thanks for the replys.



It's a natural reaction for not just children but also sometimes for our own spouses, parents and siblings.    

You can also explore some of the childrens books that are available and there are many.  You just need to find the one that meets your needs.

http://www.operationwearehere.com/ChildrenBooks.html#anchor_275 

The first one that came to mind for you was ---->  http://www.amazon.ca/Butterfly-Sky-Daddys-Little-Girl/dp/1438922183


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## vanderkalin (4 Mar 2016)

DAA said:
			
		

> Seeing as you are only in the application stages and yet to receive an offer of employment, you might find this article of interest.  It's not Canadian based and directed more towards US Armed Services deployments but still, it may be your first time away from the homestead as a member of the CF if you are successful in receiving that call.
> 
> Not a deployment perse, but definitely a deployment away from the family home.
> 
> http://www.military.com/spouse/military-deployment/dealing-with-deployment/help-child-cope-with-parents-deployment.html


That looks good. I'll be reading that later thanks.


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