Dealing with loss and accidents in your career

[Bograt]

This past weekend there was a fatal accident at the Flight School where I got my PPL. The student pilot was killed and the FI is in critical condition (life support).

I knew the instructor well. The aircraft was the one I first soloed in.

News of this accident came on the same day that I received my official offer.

The accident is currently under investigation. They were practicing forced landings.

I am experiencing a number of emotions. I am conflicted between grief and "I knew it was going to happen."  Also, this is the first accident that has affected me... and I know that in my career there will be many more. Any suggestions with dealing with this?

There but for the grace of God go I.

 

[Goober]

Take my words with a grain of salt.

When going throught hard times, or dealing with loss, I think its best to not be alone. And its good to talk. Talk to your family and friends, about whatever, whether it be the accident or how your feeling, or about the Mooseheads game last friday. When your alone, your mind wanders, and sometimes it does you harm, too much thinking is a bad thing.

Also, I find I can take comfort in the fact that time heals all wounds.

 

[Inch]

Bograt, when I was in Moose Jaw, a friend of mine was out for a run one evening. It was still light out and he was running against the traffic like you're supposed to. Well a delivery van driver fell asleep at the wheel, veered across the road and hit him. He died at the scene. It came as a pretty big shock, we had volunteered at the MFRC the day before. The last memory I have is of him holding his new born daughter. I'm not real good at helping others deal with this sort of thing, I know how I deal with it, but to relay that to someone else can be quite difficult sometimes. The best advice I can give is try to remember the positives but don't dwell on what happened. You've got to move forward, you can't put your life on hold indefinitely when something like that happens. Some people need to talk it out, or have a good cry, whatever you need to do to mourn and move on. We had a moment of silence at the mess and did a shot in his honour, then we got drunk just like everyother Fri night in Moose Jaw. Getting back to routine can help too.

Hope that helps a bit, you're right, you're going to have to deal with it sooner or later in the military, that's just the nature of the job.

Cheers

 

[Ex-Dragoon]

If the grief is too much go on sick parade and talk to a doctor who will set up something with the mental health people who will help you deal with the issue.

 

[Sam69]

Tough loss Bograt. My condolences.

I've lost a number of friends over the years to aircraft accidents and other causes.  I don't think that there is any magic formula to dealing with these losses. Each loss is personal in its own way. And every person deals with loss in their own way; some people can just accept it and move on right away. For others, it can haunt them for years. Personally, I've tried everything from drinking, crying, swearing, punching holes in walls, to blaming someone else. But I've found the best tonic is to find a common friend with whom you can share the loss and celebrate the friendship that was and was lost.

In the end, you have to come to accept the fact that any job in the military comes with risks and that we do, and we will continue to, lose good people. While this loss came outside the military circle, the fact is that aviation, in general, also comes with risks. And the acceptance of this risk when you go flying is somewhat analogous to the risk you accept when you decide to serve your country.

Whatever you do, don't keep your grief to yourself if you find yourself unable to get on top of it. Find someone to speak to, whether it be a friend, a mentor, or a professional.

Best wishes,
Sam