Hi,
I am pondering on what I am missing here and can't seem to understand so I ask married men or woman in the military who are away from their significant others to recall their friendships with those of the opposite sex. Did you hang out by yourselves outside of working hours? Occasionally or most of the time? Would you spend a lot of your time texting or talking to this person alone? Were they actually just a plutonic friend? Did it come between you and your partner? What kind of boundaries did you establish if any? What were you cool with?
Being a loving civilian working wife at home with a small child my husband has been away for a little over a year now. It has been tough on both of us but what I can't seem to understand is where does the line of friendship between man and woman cross the line while in the military?
Example, My husband easily befriends females as he finds them easier to talk to, there is no competing with male testosterone, etc we have mutual female friends at home with whom he used to work with, talk to or hang out with as a group but once home that friendship wouldn't ever extend itself into talking behind closed doors, texting, or hanging out by themselves. Maybe occasionally but he would tell me about it.
What is difficult is that I know he needs a friend while away from his family and this female is someone that he works with and lives with in barracks so it's hard to understand when he agrees that if he were to be going out for dinner or getting coffees together while living at home that would be weird. He is in a situation that is different and that civilians don't understand. He wouldn't be doing these things if he were at home with me and our child because he wouldn't need to. He needs a friend and that is all that she is. I get needing a friend, I even get having her as a friend but is it unfair of me to expect that they wouldn't be hanging out by themselves outside of work while he is away? Is it unfair to ask that they stop texting each other on a daily basis outside of work? I don't mean occasionally texting or shooting each other a "Hey what's up" they pretty much text every day or grab a coffee together everyday outside of working hours.
All my civilian friends say WTF, this is weird and I agree. It doesn't seem like a "Normal" friendship with someone of the opposite sex but then again I have never been in the military.
I am pondering on what I am missing here and can't seem to understand so I ask married men or woman in the military who are away from their significant others to recall their friendships with those of the opposite sex. Did you hang out by yourselves outside of working hours? Occasionally or most of the time? Would you spend a lot of your time texting or talking to this person alone? Were they actually just a plutonic friend? Did it come between you and your partner? What kind of boundaries did you establish if any? What were you cool with?
Being a loving civilian working wife at home with a small child my husband has been away for a little over a year now. It has been tough on both of us but what I can't seem to understand is where does the line of friendship between man and woman cross the line while in the military?
Example, My husband easily befriends females as he finds them easier to talk to, there is no competing with male testosterone, etc we have mutual female friends at home with whom he used to work with, talk to or hang out with as a group but once home that friendship wouldn't ever extend itself into talking behind closed doors, texting, or hanging out by themselves. Maybe occasionally but he would tell me about it.
What is difficult is that I know he needs a friend while away from his family and this female is someone that he works with and lives with in barracks so it's hard to understand when he agrees that if he were to be going out for dinner or getting coffees together while living at home that would be weird. He is in a situation that is different and that civilians don't understand. He wouldn't be doing these things if he were at home with me and our child because he wouldn't need to. He needs a friend and that is all that she is. I get needing a friend, I even get having her as a friend but is it unfair of me to expect that they wouldn't be hanging out by themselves outside of work while he is away? Is it unfair to ask that they stop texting each other on a daily basis outside of work? I don't mean occasionally texting or shooting each other a "Hey what's up" they pretty much text every day or grab a coffee together everyday outside of working hours.
All my civilian friends say WTF, this is weird and I agree. It doesn't seem like a "Normal" friendship with someone of the opposite sex but then again I have never been in the military.