Lost the lessons learned in our youth? Warning: Rant

[steveyb4342]

Hi all, I have a question for everyone. Why has everyone {except one girl in my platoon and another girl in my regiment} that Ive met that is in the military lost the ability to be polite? I realise I have limited time in the military and that I'm generalising here but I have known alot of serving and retired military members over my life. Generally I find the Veterans very polite and a very good learning and historical opportunity, I take pride in being able to talk with them and listen to their stories.  . My beef is with the people that are in the military that are not polite at all. I generally hold doors open for women, the elderly, children and the odd man. Ive been told not to do it in uniform, its a sign of weakness. I'm also one to say please when I ask something above and beyond someones usual duties or when I ask a friend to do something etc and thank you when its done. I have never seen this in the military unless its a forced "Thank you sir!" I'm not the most proper person in the world and I know it, I'm FAR from it. I was just wondering why the simple things we learned when we were 2 years old like saying please and thank you have been disregarded? Just because a manual on simple manners wasn't issued with your C7A2 doesn't mean they shouldn't be used. IMHO using manners and being polite help alot, people think "what a great young man/women" and who knows maybe some younger child will want to grow up and be that "great young man/women in the CF"? If you believe being polite to someone is a sign of weakness I feel sorry for you, personally I think being impolite to people makes you look like an uncivilised cave man.

                                                                        Steve
PS: This post was not targeted at anyone and is just my point of view in my experience. My apologies if anyone is offended or feels I have stepped out of my lane.

 

[Mike Baker]

I understand what you saying. I too am not the most proper person, but for me, it is not a singe of weakness, but strength and good social skills.

 

[TN2IC]

It depends on your work environment. Where I work, we are very polite. And most of the base is the same way. But once you leave that gate, it is a different game.

 

[steveyb4342]

Thanks MB. TN2IC, thats good although it shouldnt be that as soon as your out of the gate its different. These are the skills you learn as a child next to learning how to use the toilet, speaking and walking their right on top.

                                                          Steve  :warstory:

 

[Northern Ranger]

I think its who you are, you are either polite or your not.  My self (20 yrs service 10 yrs guns 10 yrs RMS) I've always been polite and most of the guys that I hang with are.  It doesn't change when I leave the gate as its me that is polite not the military that has instilled it in me.  I would say I see more polite pers in uniform that I see rude pers.  Just remember, when your buddy's asks you to " Pass the F*&^en butter" he's actually being polite and its just that hes not classy ;D.

Don't despair, my children call my Friends MR Smith, not Bob and I know allot of pers that do the same. 

 

[steveyb4342]

Oh I realise that saying something like "pass the f'ing butter" is them just screwing around. That doesn't bother me. Its when I see people in uniform walking into tim hortons and letting the door close on the old lady with the walker{I did see this in Halifax a couple years ago by the way}. I dunno I guess it just bothered me a bit and I'm letting a few bad apples spoil the bunch so to speak, I was just wondering if anyone else was having similar occurences. By the way Northern Ranger I applaud you for teaching your children good manners.

                                                                          Steve 

 

[Mike Baker]

By the way Northern Ranger I applaud you for teaching your children good manners.

+1.

 

[TN2IC]

Thanks MB. TN2IC, thats good although it shouldnt be that as soon as your out of the gate its different. These are the skills you learn as a child next to learning how to use the toilet, speaking and walking their right on top.

                                                          Steve  :warstory:

I was refering to interaction with civvies in the town, as passing the gate. Get my drift?

 

[steveyb4342]

Oh yea I get you now. By the way my quarel isnt all with military personal, I just dont like rude people in general. IMHO it wont get you very far in life, but thats just me.

                                                Steve

 

[Roy Harding]

steveyb4342:

I hear you, and I agree completely.  I ALSO find service folk in general more polite than civilians in general.  It wasn't something I noticed a great deal until I got out of the military and BECAME a civy!!

There's a flip side to this rudeness, however.  I am now self-employed.  I'm a one-man show, which means I meet with the customers, haggle over details and price, build the product, install it (if required), handle complaints (never had any - but there's always a first time), and collect and cash the cheque.

I don't know how many of my customers have remarked how much they enjoy dealing with me - and it usually comes down to the fact that I'm polite.  I say "Yes, Sir" or "Yes, Ma'am" until I'm asked to use their proper names - at which time I do.  I say "thank you", "please", and "your welcome".  I carry "dust covers" for my boots, and use them ALWAYS (these are paper throw-away slippers that you put over your footwear when entering someone's house) - I clean up after myself.

All this to say that some customers have remarked that they won't deal with other tradesmen because they are "rude" and "belligerent".  It's possible to be firm (on price, for instance), and remain polite.  Part of my business is very "artsy" - I deal with placing my works in various art galleries.  The gallery owners/managers like working with me because I'm "polite", and I don't "cop an attitude" like some of their "other artists".

All I'm saying is - rudeness will one day bite those who exercise it in the ass - "guaranf**kin' tee'd".  I'm already ahead of them in the business and art world - not because I'm "better" - because I'm "polite".

Just keep that fact in mind when you see one of them being idiotic - "what goes around, comes around" - just pray that you are there to witness the eventual downfall.



Roy

Edit:  Forgot a couple of words.

 

[Quag]

I take pride in being able to talk with them and listen to their stories.  . My beef is with the people that are in the military that are not polite at all. I generally hold doors open for women, the elderly, children and the odd man. Ive been told not to do it in uniform, its a sign of weakness.

I'm not sure who told you this information, however, whomever did is out of line and should not be advising anything as they are clearly not capable of giving advice.  When you put on that uniform, you are representing the CF as a whole.  Therefore, it is during this time that, perhaps most importantly, that you open the door for women, elderly, children and men.  Not only is it common courtesy, but it also reflects on the CF in a positive manner.  Sign of weakness??? I mean, please understand that you are going to receive numerous "tips" throughout your service career and life in general.  Here's my "tip" for you:  Take them with a grain of salt.

 

[Conquistador]

Can you give any other examples of people being rude, or not being polite that you've encountered?

For me, most of my peers (Pte/Cpl types) I know are polite, except for the occasional joking around, and we get along well. Usually we don't have too much interaction with anybody higher then our platoon 2IC, except when getting jacked up, but they're just doing their jobs. Anybody that is consistently impolite or rude is seen for what he or she is, an a**hole, and is usually sorted out by the higher ups if they start affecting morale.

Being polite is a weakness? What a load of crap! All the top-notch troops I know are not only good troops, but are good people as well.

 

[Flip]

I'm a civvy...............
But I grew up living next door to a Major General of the Canadian Army.

"The General" taught me me most of what I know about
the social graces and how to be polite.

Remember the Gilbert and Sullivan bit about " the modern Major General"?
That was him ;D

Polite is NEVER week unless the beholder is stupid.

Ask a simple question. - Does the member of the CF want to be management
or just the help?

If you want to be a private in life as well as your CF career, by all means use the entire
4 letter vocabulary.  Be an a-hole with abandon!

If you want to be a master corporal or more......... Use other words.
Be a a-hole only when you need to be.

Just a civvy's impression mind you.....

 

[FastEddy]

Hi all, I have a question for everyone. Why has everyone {except one girl in my platoon and another girl in my regiment} that Ive met that is in the military lost the ability to be polite? I realise I have limited time in the military and that I'm generalising here but I have known alot of serving and retired military members over my life. Generally I find the Veterans very polite and a very good learning and historical opportunity, I take pride in being able to talk with them and listen to their stories.  . My beef is with the people that are in the military that are not polite at all. I generally hold doors open for women, the elderly, children and the odd man. Ive been told not to do it in uniform, its a sign of weakness. I'm also one to say please when I ask something above and beyond someones usual duties or when I ask a friend to do something etc and thank you when its done. I have never seen this in the military unless its a forced "Thank you sir!" I'm not the most proper person in the world and I know it, I'm FAR from it. I was just wondering why the simple things we learned when we were 2 years old like saying please and thank you have been disregarded? Just because a manual on simple manners wasn't issued with your C7A2 doesn't mean they shouldn't be used. IMHO using manners and being polite help alot, people think "what a great young man/women" and who knows maybe some younger child will want to grow up and be that "great young man/women in the CF"? If you believe being polite to someone is a sign of weakness I feel sorry for you, personally I think being impolite to people makes you look like an uncivilised cave man.

                                                                         Steve
PS: This post was not targeted at anyone and is just my point of view in my experience. My apologies if anyone is offended or feels I have stepped out of my lane.

"Steveyb4342", Wow!, that like asking "What is the Meaning of Life". I don,t think "Mike Bobbit" would allow us that much Band Space to completely cover your observations.

In general, for the last 5 decades Society and Social Graces have been slowly eroding.

I'm sure you certainally can comment on some of your Peers or the Youth of today. I Stopped trying to save them, because I started to be too busy Arresting them .

With regard to Female CF's personnel, they've fought a long hard road for equality (which means, in all things).
Your politeness could be misinterpreted as condescending or even demeaning. I've had a few Female Partners, who, if you treated them according to gender, you were certainally brought up short.

Yes, there are Rude, Aggressive, Mean, Nasty and Violent Pepole out there for what ever reason and will always be. But like the Law, its preferable to be on the right side.

I could go on for ever describing rude and discourteous behavior, but we are both aware of them, what we can do is not employ or follow suite.

You've restored my faith in today's youth as seems you came out alright.

Good luck and Good Job.

Cheers.

 

[steveyb4342]

Oh I understand what you are all saying and I agree, there is a very big difference in being rude and just screwing around a bit. I'm one of those guys that will joke around with platoon members. I have generally found that its the older Mcpl's and Sgt's, not  so much in my regiment {although there are always those few}  I have been around a lot of military personal from all over the country. Im glad you all have pointed me in the right direction, I must have a thing for coming across the rude ones. Another good example of someone being rude was when I was a civvy I helped a Cpl carry their personal kit to their car in Halifax then when I set it down by his car he chewd me out cause it wasnt where he told me to put it {I thought it was?}. He could have said thanks and moved it himself, I just carried his dufflebag about 500m for him. As for people in the military being more polite, Im willing to bet thats true in the bigger areas but around where I live its a small town and you have to be nice or the whole town knows what you said to Mrs. Bloggins lol. FastEddy, I dont believe any of the women in my regiment are against me holding a door for them as they all get big smiles and say "thank you" when i open a door for them  8) lol. Also thank you for the kind words! Anyways its off to school for me.

                                                                            Steve 

 

[211RadOp]

My father taught me a few basic things about being polite. Besides "Please" and "Thank you", always hold the door for a lady. I still do this to this day and have taught my son the same thing. I have only gotten a blast from one lady for doing this. Usually I get a very polite (and sometimes suprised) thank you in return, to which I always reply, you're welcome.

I always remove my hat when entering a place to eat, and even when I am eating at a pick-nick table, I ensure my head is bare before I sit down. As a matter of fact, my hat comes off at the door when I enter any house also. This is my second biggest pet peeve with today's youth.

My biggest is never talk back to a lady, especially your mother. Nothing irritaes me more when some snot nosed little brat berates their mother and nothing is done. I have stepped in a couple of times with friends children and have, politely, asked them not to talk to their mother with that tone of voice.

At work, I am polite with everyone, from the newest Sig to the CO. I find that it makes my job alot easier when I have the respect of the people that work with me.

 

[Bobby Rico]

I lived in the Qs for a long time, and I never really experienced any overt rudeness from anyone in the community.  In fact, most of the people that lived there were extremely courteous, even to a kid like me who often appeared very anti-establishment.  As someone posted before, I actually find the majority of service folk to be worlds more polite than the average civilian.  Personally, I am polite but admittedly I can also come off as being somewhat crude (not rude), because I enjoy punctuating sentances with the occasional F-bomb.  But what self-respecting Scotsman doesn't I ask? 

 

[Hawk]

Good manners are always the best way to go. I brought my son up that way. He opens the door for anyone around him, as I do. When he was growing up, our friends were Mr--- or Mrs---. I told him once he got off easy. When I was growing up, my parents friends were Sir or Ma'am.

One night I was standing on a crowded bus with 2 friends, all of us older. I saw a young man we all know sitting down, listening to his tunes on a headset, and just said "Cory, get up and give an old lady a seat" He laughted, got up and I sat down. Two other young people jumped up and gave my friends seats. It could be contageous!!!

When I was in Reserves we had a Sgt who was ---colourful--- on the parade square. He'd use the best rhetoric I've ever heard out there addressing all of us. If he had something to say to an individual, he was always polite, especially if you managed to please him with the look of your uniform!

To my mind, if you're in uniform you should go out of your way to be polite. It raises you and the CF in the estimation of the civillians!


Hawk

 

[proudnurse]

It truly does reflect my daughter has called to speak with me at work, and she always says "Please" when she asks for me (of course my Dad has dialed the number since she is only 7) My co workers have complimented that before, in saying how polite she is. I have told her how proud I am of her, for being so courteous and how much others appreciate that... so that hopefully she will continue to be considerate to others  ;D I'm one lucky Mom.

~Rebecca

 

[Hawk]

It can get pretty amusing too. At my civillian job, one day my boss asked, "Did you get ahold of ----- supplier?" I answered, without thinking "Yes, Sir". His grin lit up the room!

Can I help you?
Let me get that for you.
Do you need help with that?
How can I help?
After you---

Just good manners, and being a kind human being, not weak!


Hawk