Author Topic: Married Service Couples [MSC]  (Read 67072 times)

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Offline JesseWZ

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #100 on: February 16, 2019, 18:36:45 »


Inf613...As I read your post you are presently on QL3 Inf in Meaford...

I'm not sure what makes you believe he is infantry? His profile lists his current unit as CFLTC and his MOSID as 00117... His post history states he CT'd from reserve infantry to Reg F MSE Op. His posting options are nearly limitless.

Best bet, if you absolutely must be co-located while she is on her QL3, is for you to ask to be posted to Borden on completion of your QL3. Otherwise, being separated from your spouse and family while on course is an unfortunate aspect of military life.... Once you are both through QL3 it will become a bit easier but there are always going to be times when one of you ends up being a single parent for extended periods and you need to have a plan in place.

I'd like to emphasize the point in yellow. Before I was posted to Esquimalt, I didn't even know it existed and had no idea where it was. It certainly wasn't one of my options out the gate, but we made the best of it. Sometimes making the best of it is all you can do. Getting through to your occupationally functional point is the hardest part on couples in my opinion, which is multiplied if both are going through training at near the same time. There can be lots of "moves" from one school to the next, the member is separated from their family while Att Posted and trying to focus on their course while their family might be 10000000 billion miles away.
« Last Edit: February 16, 2019, 18:42:29 by JesseWZ »
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Offline reverse_engineer

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #101 on: February 16, 2019, 21:05:53 »
If you want your marriage to work, I'd avoid the military.

Offline JesseWZ

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #102 on: February 16, 2019, 21:19:06 »
If you want your marriage to work, I'd avoid the military.

What a load of malarkey.

I've been in for 12 years, married for nearly 8. I know a lot of service couples who have been married for nearly as long as I have, and have held it down through deployments, taskings, children and all manner of stressors. I know a ton of folks where one spouse is in the military and they've been together as long as me or longer in some cases.

In fact, I think more of my civilian friends then my military friends have divorced.

Yes, deployments and courses and TD and such cause tension, but a marriage works or fails based on the individuals in the marriage - not because of the military. The military may exacerbate existing stressors, but it doesn't cause the end of marriages.

You're giving rather poor advice to someone whose already married and in the military. He's asking for help on making his family situation better. Did you even read the preceding posts? How does your one dismissive line help the OP or further the thread in any way?

« Last Edit: February 16, 2019, 21:53:06 by JesseWZ »
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Offline Inf613

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #103 on: February 17, 2019, 13:02:22 »
Jesse, Do you know what the requirements for LWOP are? If I wanted to use a month of leave plus lets say 2 months of LWOP to try and stay in the area for half the course?

Offline Inf613

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Offline dangerboy

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #105 on: February 17, 2019, 13:17:37 »
This link has the is regulations on Leave Without Pay as per the CAF Leave Policy Manual: http://www.forces.gc.ca/en/caf-community-benefits/leave-policy.page#chap8
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Offline Inf613

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Offline Inf613

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #107 on: February 17, 2019, 13:21:54 »
So does that mean Im good to take a couple months off?

Offline PuckChaser

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #108 on: February 17, 2019, 14:12:03 »
LWOP must be in the interest of the CAF. If your wife gets an embassy posting later in her career (where there's no CAF job for you), thats usually what I've seen it used for. They're not going to let you take LWOP so you can spend a couple hours a night with your wife. She's also going to be ordered into shacks. Are you going to get a hotel or rent an apartment?

You're both choosing a military career. There will be separations. The CAF will work to get you posted to the same bases. If you cannot handle a 6 month course, how are you going to handle BMQ? 6/9 month deployment? Multiple month exercises apart? The CAF is better at the family stuff now, but you need to have realistic expectations and maybe a serious talk about whether you can handle being a Married Service Couple.

Offline mariomike

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #109 on: February 17, 2019, 14:50:43 »
My wife is on her last year of police foundations and will be soon ready to apply for a career in policing.

If your wife is considering applying to the CAF, Recruiting would be her most trusted source of official up to date information.

Can anyone help think of any ideas or share any experiences they may have heard of?

Some discussions that may be of interest to potential Service Couples,

CAF Service Couple Information 
https://army.ca/forums/index.php?topic=113148.0

Not deploying service couples together 
https://army.ca/forums/index.php?topic=97185.0

Service Couples - Posting 
https://army.ca/forums/index.php?topic=30625.0

Service Couples
https://army.ca/forums/index.php?topic=47261.0

Service Couple and Deployment??? 
https://army.ca/forums/index.php?topic=67671.0
2 pages.

Married couples and children 
https://army.ca/forums/index.php?topic=33024.0
2 pages

PLEASE HELP WITH POSTING! 
https://army.ca/forums/index.php?topic=53061.0
OP: "Does anyone have any tricks or a good way to get posted (service couple)?"

etc...


Offline kratz

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #110 on: February 17, 2019, 15:18:19 »
If your wife is considering applying to the CAF, Recruiting would be her most trusted source of official up to date information.
This is a training concern for her unit or school, not a CFRC. Reciting only gets people in the door to BMQ.

Some discussions that may be of interest to potential Service Couples  **snip**

The advice posted in 2007 and this week are valid. Both members will need to communicate, make some choices and decide.

MM's links are useful and restate similar advice.
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Offline mariomike

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #111 on: February 17, 2019, 15:33:46 »
MM's links are useful and restate similar advice.

From Forces.ca

Service Couples
http://www.forces.gc.ca/en/about-policies-standards-benefits-relocation/2014-directive-amend-ch10.page

SEPARATION OF MARRIED SERVICE COUPLES: PROBLEM OR PART OF MILITARY LIFE
https://www.cfc.forces.gc.ca/259/290/402/305/gagne.pdf

Relocation benefits applicable to meet the requirements of Service Couples (SCs).
http://www.forces.gc.ca/en/about-policies-standards-benefits-relocation/2011-2012-directive-ch10.page

A Family Guide to the MILITARY EXPERIENCE
https://www.cafconnection.ca/getmedia/5d55e9e8-5e4c-45fe-a9cc-5b80dde75357/MFS-A-Family-Guide-to-the-Military-Experience-ENG.aspx
"Family Care Assistance is designed to help military members who are single parents or dual-service couples with children."

If you want your marriage to work, I'd avoid the military.

My sister was a dual-service couple, both in the Regular Force.

Maybe she was an exception. But, she was a wife and mother and still managed to enjoy a long and satisfying career.

« Last Edit: February 17, 2019, 15:44:46 by mariomike »

Offline Inf613

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #112 on: February 17, 2019, 15:44:24 »
LWOP must be in the interest of the CAF. If your wife gets an embassy posting later in her career (where there's no CAF job for you), thats usually what I've seen it used for. They're not going to let you take LWOP so you can spend a couple hours a night with your wife. She's also going to be ordered into shacks. Are you going to get a hotel or rent an apartment?

You're both choosing a military career. There will be separations. The CAF will work to get you posted to the same bases. If you cannot handle a 6 month course, how are you going to handle BMQ? 6/9 month deployment? Multiple month exercises apart? The CAF is better at the family stuff now, but you need to have realistic expectations and maybe a serious talk about whether you can handle being a Married Service Couple.
We have family in the area where I can stay. I just think its a bit ridiculous to seperate a mother from her young children for 6 months to take a career course. She is willing to do deployments and exercises in the future but not when our daughter is 1 year old. So there is no way for this to happen? Its either leave your kids for 6 month or dont join?

Offline Brihard

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #113 on: February 17, 2019, 16:16:03 »
We have family in the area where I can stay. I just think its a bit ridiculous to seperate a mother from her young children for 6 months to take a career course. She is willing to do deployments and exercises in the future but not when our daughter is 1 year old. So there is no way for this to happen? Its either leave your kids for 6 month or dont join?

Essentially, yes. The security and certainty that comes with a full time career in the military does entail having to bite the bullet on some decisions like that from time to time.

That said if she’s still in school for PF, she’s a long ways let from getting hired by the MPs or any other police service. Your circumstances may change somewhat between now and when she has to face that decision.
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Offline garb811

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #114 on: February 17, 2019, 17:43:23 »
We have family in the area where I can stay. I just think its a bit ridiculous to seperate a mother from her young children for 6 months to take a career course. She is willing to do deployments and exercises in the future but not when our daughter is 1 year old. So there is no way for this to happen? Its either leave your kids for 6 month or dont join?
Like Brihard said, if you have been reading any of the MP recruiting threads, you should realize by now that she isn't miraculously going to graduate and then get sent to CFMPA then next day.  Chances are she is looking at a year, year and half post graduation from her program before she even gets to the point of doing the Background Integrity Interview (if "new MPAC" hasn't been implemented by that point), which I'm guessing isn't going to be until at least end-April. So, ballpark figure is she won't even be enrolled until summer 2021 at the earliest, at which point your child will be much older than a year...

You keep going on about "six months" for her QL3. The QL3 hasn't been six months in a couple of years now, it is now 18 weeks long and runs twice a year. One serial starts in January and ends in May, the other starts in August and ends in December. You haven't been talking about BMQ, so does that mean she's a reservist and going to bypass? If so, does she also have BMQ-L? Because that is a requirement for MP as well. If she has to take either or both of these courses, that is going to make time away even longer.

What happens when she is working shift and can't be home for their birthday party, parent teacher interview, when they graduate kindergarten, have a doctor or dental appointment, wake up sick and can't go to school, have to stay late to finish up processing an impaired driver, when it is a school holiday, who is going to babysit when you are away and she has to work a night shift...? For what it is worth, over the course of my career I have seen a ton of great female MP either quit or OT after they had kids and realized that working a 12 hour shift on a 28 day cycle was not conducive to how they wanted to be as a parent. Edit to add: But I have also seen a ton of people make it work because they had realistic expectations and a plan in place.

I really think you guys haven't had a realistic discussion on what the demands of a career in the CAF or any police service makes upon a family and what you are going to have to sacrifice to make either work. The only one responsible for coming up with a  plan to make your family life work with the career are you and your wife. Although accommodations can be made at times, they have to be reasonable and what you are asking for right now isn't reasonable by any stretch of the imagination.
« Last Edit: February 17, 2019, 18:03:37 by garb811 »
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Offline Inf613

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #115 on: February 17, 2019, 20:27:37 »
Thank you very much for all the quick responses everyone. Lots of great info aswell. We figured the course is 6 months bexause they are still advertising on the forces jobs site that it is a 6 month course.

Offline MaggieDozer

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #116 on: March 21, 2019, 22:30:42 »
Evening!
I'm recently married, my spouse is going reg force MP in a few days, and I have my CT in as well.

Just a question maybe someone out there can tell me ... If I went Infantry officer, and I wanted to be posted to either Edmonton or Gagetown, and absolutely not Petawawa what are the chances of that happening?

My spouse is a non commission, reg force MP. He'll be posted before my CT goes through. If he's not at an army base, will they move him to where I'm posted or will I be attached to his base? How does it work if one of us is an officer and he's posted to a base without army?

See, InfO is my first choice. I don't want to put him in a position where his career is upset or he's moved to Pet (we BOTH want to leave Ontario). How does the whole posting situation work when one of us is commissioned?

My other choices are Navy and Airforce LogO and I'll happily go either trade, but I don't particularly want to leave the infantry just yet if I can help it.

Thanks for the advice!


Offline garb811

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #117 on: March 21, 2019, 23:09:12 »
You both need to end up in a location where you can do your entry level jobs and Infantry is more restrictive on possible locations than MP, so your posting is going to drive things.

The last couple of years my observation is the MP CM is more than willing to post Jnr MP to co-locate them with their families if, for some reason, their spouse is also a service member who needs to go to a different base. There may be a delay in the posting happening for him depending on a variety of factors but the chances are pretty good for it to be done.

Presuming he is not already qualified Reg Force MP QL3, the earliest he is going to receive his first posting is Dec 19, as the next QL3 doesn't start until July. In that case, you may already be in via your CT and if you are already fully qualified, you may be at your first posting. If that happens, the MP CM will probably simply co-locate him when he comes off the BTL on graduation.

If he is getting his first posting ahead of you, he should be identifying what is going on with you and what stage of the process you are at when he puts in his posting choices for 1 or 3 MP Regt. There is a good possibility the CM will pre-locate him on spec, or perhaps even have a chat with your soon to be new CM as to where you are going to be offered a position to keep things simple.

If he puts Edmonton as his first choice I would say he has a very good chance of getting it due to the number of MP positions there.  With the CFSPDB, CFNIS and CFNCIU also in Edmonton, the MP CM is very fond of doing no cost moves of Cpls within Edmonton, it's pretty normal for a fairly large chunk of a graduating QL3 to end up there to top the Regt back up. Gagetown only has the guardhouse, which means fewer Cpls are usually needed off the QL3.

PS - You forgot about Shilo...  ;D
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Offline MaggieDozer

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #118 on: August 09, 2019, 07:41:59 »
Morning everyone,
My CT is on the move forward into the infantry, I'll be going on my BMOQ-A soon and I was really excited, until I heard that you can't do OJE anywhere but Gagetown between courses. My husband is military police, finishing his QL3 in December. As I am untrained does the "keeping service spouses together" general rule of thumb still apply or will Gagetown be off the table for him since my first 'posting' is when I'm untrained?

I'm really feeling like a fish out of water with all the information I've been getting from different sources and I'm so confused.

Any help would be great!

Offline garb811

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Re: Married Service Couples [MSC]
« Reply #119 on: August 09, 2019, 12:08:08 »
Morning everyone,
My CT is on the move forward into the infantry, I'll be going on my BMOQ-A soon and I was really excited, until I heard that you can't do OJE anywhere but Gagetown between courses. My husband is military police, finishing his QL3 in December. As I am untrained does the "keeping service spouses together" general rule of thumb still apply or will Gagetown be off the table for him since my first 'posting' is when I'm untrained?

I'm really feeling like a fish out of water with all the information I've been getting from different sources and I'm so confused.

Any help would be great!
You say, "CT," so I'm presuming that right now you are a reservist, in which case you don't technically become a service couple until you complete your CT to the Regular Force. If you still haven't completed your CT the time his posting message is cut he could end up anywhere.

What he should do when he submits his posting choices is also submit a memo detailing what is going on with you. The MP CM will then attempt to coordinate with your CM (or soon to be CM) about where you are likely to end up and he will likely be pre-positioned for when you complete battle school.

Edit to add: And sorry, yes, unless you are going to be posted to 2 RCR, Gagetown isn't going to be on the table to keep you together simply because you are there on OJE.
« Last Edit: August 09, 2019, 12:34:01 by garb811 »
He's old enough to know what's right
And young enough not to choose it