Author Topic: Funny Stories  (Read 9103 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Cpl Bloggins

  • Reservist
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • -180
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 517
Funny Stories
« on: March 06, 2005, 18:50:22 »
If anyone's got a good/funny signals war story post it here!
VVV

Offline Radop

  • VVV
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • 135
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 468
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2005, 21:09:51 »
On my TQ3s, Dave and Darren were screwing around when someone bumped Darren into Dave spilling his coffee down his work dress uniform.  Dave then through the rest of his coffee at Darren.  Darren had his spare shirt hung up in the spare locker in the room and he had it ironed.  Dave's was not quite in the same condition.  Darren quickly changed and got in place for the inspection.  Dave came to me and asked to hide him.  We boosed him into the top locker in the room in B6 and I told him I would ask the MCpl what time it was.  When he answered, Dave was to open the door and go "Cuckoo-Cuckoo".  The MCpl went into Dave's room first but missed that Dave was not there.  He then went into Darren's room and inspected the three in there.  He then came in my room and I asked him for the time.  He told me it was time for the inspection.  I said I knew that but I needed to know the time because my watch had stopped.  He said it is 0707.  At that moment Dave opened the Doors and went Cuckoo-Cuckoo and shut the door again.  The MCpl looked around and asked what was going on.  I again asked for the time and he said 0707 again.  Dave then said Cuckoo about 7 times.  He was so frustrated that he stormed out of the room and out of the building.  We never even heard anything about it.  It was the funniest inspection I had ever seen.
Radop
VVV
-----------------------
The Cnd soldier loves to *****, it is the leaders responsibility to determine whether that bitching is good natured fun or a serious problem that needs dwelving into.

Offline JayJay

  • Member
  • ****
  • -30
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 191
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2005, 15:03:14 »
I had one instructor for my QL3 who has a habit of having himself thrown into trees.  On the 3s course the year before mine one of his students left his rifle too far away and they raced each other to go get it and the MCpl grabbed it first, but the student threw him into a tree to get it back.  HAHA right, then it was about 0240 one night in the field and this guy Tony and I were on sentry in his trench when he sees one of the instructors coming up in front of him with toilet paper on his head (he was pretending to be Al-Qaeda), so Tony goes through his halt proceedure, but the instructor didn't respond, so he tried again, and all of a sudden this arm comes around the side of Tony's head and Tony grabbed the arm and threw the person over his head and into a tree....low and behold it's the MCpl who got thrown into a tree the year before.  That MCpl still claimed afterwards that we were asleep on shift and that they killed us (yeah right...he was walkin funny for a few days after that).
VVV-Velox Versutus Vigilans

Offline Beadwindow 7

  • Life is cruel, and I am but a small slice of life
  • Army.ca Veteran
  • *****
  • 44,830
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 2,137
  • ZBM2
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #3 on: March 29, 2005, 16:18:21 »
Just got back from Ex Southern Drive yesterday; 10 Jimmies running comms for an LIB. Don't know if any of you've been to Fort Knox before, but it's area is a pain in the *** for Comms, lot's of dead zones.

So me and another private take our LS out, going to run an RRB, and we need to have it set up for 7, because Fort Knox range control won't let the Infanteers use 2 of the ranges until we have comms. We set up in a spot, and lo and behold, we're stuck in the mud. We drop the trailer, dig our the ls, move a few meters, and get stuck again. Too far to use the Gennie, so we set up using truck power and whips. We get comms, start RRBing, and call in for recovering in the meantime.

HL shows up, and they say ok. we're going to get you out. Then the HL gets stuck. They tell me to grab a shovel and start digging. So when I get back in the pod, this is what I read in the Log:

0 to 92B "let me confirm, you are stuck, recovery is there and they are stuck/Roger/ and now you're going to go dig out an HL with a shovel, so they can recover you/ roger/ 0 out"

All in all, it was a good ex, lots of fun
Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

Offline meni0n

  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • 21,345
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 872
  • Soldier of leisure
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #4 on: March 29, 2005, 20:44:38 »
Ever see an LS try to pullout a stuck HL towing a coyote? :P

Offline Radop

  • VVV
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • 135
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 468
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #5 on: March 29, 2005, 22:01:36 »
Ever see an LS try to pullout a stuck HL towing a coyote? :P

I never knew an HL wrecker could tow a coyote.
Radop
VVV
-----------------------
The Cnd soldier loves to *****, it is the leaders responsibility to determine whether that bitching is good natured fun or a serious problem that needs dwelving into.

Offline meni0n

  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • 21,345
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 872
  • Soldier of leisure
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #6 on: March 29, 2005, 22:12:36 »
It can apperantely. Took another coyote to pull em out.

Offline career_radio-checker

  • Hello everyone, my name is CRC and I am an army.ca - aholic.
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • 220
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 453
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #7 on: April 10, 2005, 00:25:27 »
Quote: 0 to 92B "let me confirm, you are stuck, recovery is there and they are stuck/Roger/ and now you're going to go dig out an HL with a shovel, so they can recover you/ roger/ 0 out"

LOL I heard that on the net.  it sounded even funnier hearing it live from the confused officer in 0 (zero).
How could anyone not fall in love with Canada's baby seals?... They make really good gloves.

Offline career_radio-checker

  • Hello everyone, my name is CRC and I am an army.ca - aholic.
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • 220
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 453
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #8 on: April 10, 2005, 01:15:30 »
In February of this year, me and another Cpl from 763 supported 28 Service Bn on their Winter Warfare.

The Weekend ex took place in Connaught Ranges, just outside of Ottawa, in the dead of winter.

Anyways, the Cpl was setting up the inside of the pod and tasked me with pounding in the ground spike. For anyone from outside of Ontario let me just remind you that Ottawa is the coldest capital in the world and around this time it was FREEZING cold -- somewhere around -25C. And the ground was just as frozen. It took me 15+ minutes to 'pick' (more like poke small holes) at the ground with the pickax and then POUND this beast in. I thought it would get easier after a certain point as perma-frost is usually about a foot deep but OHHHH NO... it went the entire 2.5 feet up to the mark on the spike.

I was exhausted and needed a break, and this brand new spike had a head that looked like an 80 yr old penis; all mushroomed and cracked. I swear it was like being at the Gore all over again. Needless to say I did not look forward to pulling it out.

The final day comes and we decide that we should get a head start on this thing. Took one good swing at the side of it with a sledge and the spike didn't even vibrate. Obviously wiggling it back and forth was not an option. So I think back to the last time I saw this predicament. One of my Sgts once put windshield washer fluid at the base of the spike to losen the ground. I tried it and waited... WACK! with the sledge... nothing. A little more fluid... WACK!.... nothing. Frustrated, I took the infanteer approach and just started to whale on it.

Half-a-can of fluid later, I'm about to be charged for damaging the environment and this spike is still stuck in the ground.
The Cpl joins in and we tried a slew of ideas, including backing the LS against it to try and force it out, to no avail.
Finally we just said screw it, and we left it there.   But before leaving, the Cpl had the courtesy of puting a NS tag on it reading:
"Ground spike. missing truck."



     

« Last Edit: April 10, 2005, 06:32:33 by career_radio-checker »
How could anyone not fall in love with Canada's baby seals?... They make really good gloves.

Offline Beadwindow 7

  • Life is cruel, and I am but a small slice of life
  • Army.ca Veteran
  • *****
  • 44,830
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 2,137
  • ZBM2
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #9 on: April 17, 2005, 22:48:07 »
I did my MILCOTS conversion this weekend, had a pretty good time.

10 of us were listening to a Cpl show us all the different aspects of the vehicle, sitting outside. He takes off to go see the Sgt running the course, and says he wants to all cycle through the truck, get use to where everything is. While we're all getting in and out of the truck I get a bright idea.

"How many people to you think we can fit in this cab?". Before we know it, there's 10 of us piled in the cab, trying to close the doors. Then we look out the windshield, and there's the course Sgt staring at us....

so we start to get out. "STOP!. Everyone BACK in the truck...close those doors!" so ten of us are sitting in the cab, sweating about what the Sgt is about to do, and realizing this was a stupid Idea. Then we see a Cpl recording us on his camera phone....

"When I say go, everyone out of the truck, run around twice, and get back in, in a different position then you're in now. GO!"

and thus started a huge Chinese Fire drill, with us running around, into each other, some of us clockwise, others counterclockwise, and fighting to get in the cab...

the bad part was, we realized we could actually fit more people in. 4 in the front, 6 in the back...not bad. but in the rush to get back in the truck, you'd have 6 people crammed in the front seats, and 4 sitting comfortably in the back..

I'm going to try to get the video from the Cpl and post it
Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

themaskeduser

  • Guest
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #10 on: April 18, 2005, 11:13:23 »
hey bloggins tell em about polechuck's razor story!

Offline GypsyPronto

  • Semper Vigilantes
  • Member
  • ****
  • 4,130
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 160
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #11 on: April 18, 2005, 14:51:23 »
hey bloggins tell em about polechuck's razor story!

Yes Bloggins...please tell us...I'd like to have something to talk to him about on Thursday lol

Offline Cpl Bloggins

  • Reservist
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • -180
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 517
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #12 on: April 19, 2005, 12:20:23 »
Razor story...refresh my memory...
VVV

Offline PuckChaser

  • Directing Staff
  • Army.ca Fixture
  • *
  • 915,795
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 8,113
    • Peacekeeper's Homepage
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #13 on: April 19, 2005, 12:45:38 »
Ever see an LS try to pullout a stuck HL towing a coyote? :P

I've seen a LS pull out a beached ML in Pet. Damn the snowbanks were high, and frozen this summer...  ;D

Offline Beadwindow 7

  • Life is cruel, and I am but a small slice of life
  • Army.ca Veteran
  • *****
  • 44,830
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 2,137
  • ZBM2
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #14 on: April 20, 2005, 11:00:35 »
LS pulling an ML. must not have been stuck too badly
Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

Offline GypsyPronto

  • Semper Vigilantes
  • Member
  • ****
  • 4,130
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 160
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #15 on: April 20, 2005, 15:05:36 »
Can someone please just tell me this Razor story about Polchuc?!?!? Come on!!

Offline PuckChaser

  • Directing Staff
  • Army.ca Fixture
  • *
  • 915,795
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 8,113
    • Peacekeeper's Homepage
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #16 on: April 20, 2005, 20:38:10 »
LS pulling an ML. must not have been stuck too badly

Stuck enough that the ******* wouldn't move. We were trying to pull into location as advance party for a winter warfare course. The bank was about 3 feet high and mostly frozen snow, figured we could gun it, and get into the tracks just beyond. 6 wheel drive, low in the transfer case, hit the bank and beached it. Wheels just spun, the snow was pushing up on the axel, keeping the drive wheels off the ground. LS just gave it enough of a tug to gain traction, funniest thing ever to see though.

Offline G-Fresh

  • Guest
  • *
  • 0
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 9
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #17 on: May 05, 2005, 14:03:48 »
Stuck enough that the ******* wouldn't move.

I remember that, we did way to much digging that exercise.  we shoulda made them little no-hooks do the work instead of standing around with their thumbs up their *****.

Offline Beadwindow 7

  • Life is cruel, and I am but a small slice of life
  • Army.ca Veteran
  • *****
  • 44,830
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 2,137
  • ZBM2
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #18 on: May 05, 2005, 23:57:29 »
How's this for a funny story...

I just got the email confirming that I'm taking an ML course starting Monday, and going for 2 weeks.

So now I get to go to my civvy employer tommorow and say "Hey, I won't be at work on Monday BTW. Or the rest of the week...or the following one."

Yay organization, boo piss-poor planning!
Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

Offline PuckChaser

  • Directing Staff
  • Army.ca Fixture
  • *
  • 915,795
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 8,113
    • Peacekeeper's Homepage
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #19 on: May 06, 2005, 11:59:20 »
You said confirming email.... that means you knew about this ahead of time, and probably should have cleared it with your employer in the case that it did happen (like it just did).

Now, onto more funny stories....

A quick one: Buddy told me he had a hook sigs private, fresh off her QL3 ask what the PTT was. I can understand forgetting the acronym, as we've got hundreds, but forgetting what it is, and what it does?!?   :rage:

Offline Cpl Bloggins

  • Reservist
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • -180
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 517
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #20 on: May 06, 2005, 12:27:07 »
I think I know who she is...there's only one female hooked sigs pte from your unit that I know of... :)
VVV

Offline Beadwindow 7

  • Life is cruel, and I am but a small slice of life
  • Army.ca Veteran
  • *****
  • 44,830
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 2,137
  • ZBM2
Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #21 on: May 07, 2005, 15:21:04 »
You said confirming email.... that means you knew about this ahead of time, and probably should have cleared it with your employer in the case that it did happen (like it just did).

My employer only gives me a military Leave of Absence if I have a confirmation. And this is for a course we were told was going to be cancelled. It all worked out though
Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.