Author Topic: What were they thinking?.....Dumb criminals.......add your dumb criminal story  (Read 97941 times)

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Offline cupper

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Couldn't they have provided a better description of the stolen items?
It's hard to win an argument against a smart person, it's damned near impossible against a stupid person.

There is no God, and life is just a myth.

"He who drinks, sleeps. He who sleeps, does not sin. He who does not sin, is holy. Therefore he who drinks, is holy."

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Offline PMedMoe

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Couldn't they have provided a better description of the stolen items?

You're really that curious?    ;)
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Offline PMedMoe

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Mountaineer player booted from team after robbing house while wearing WVU issue gear

Korey Harris, a sophomore defensive lineman, is no longer with the West Virginia football team following an arrest for first-degree armed robbery.
 
Harris was arrested last Friday for a July 12 home invasion, where Harris and two others entered a Morgantown home and held the residents at gun point while burglarizing the house. One tiny flaw in Harris' plan: He was wearing his WVU-issued sweatpants with a #96 - his uniform number, as you can see above - on them. The three men got away with cash and electronics.

More at link

Yep, just one teensy flaw....   :facepalm:
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Offline S.M.A.

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Man tries to sell baby on CraigsList
« Reply #128 on: August 07, 2013, 12:42:49 »
Sure, he didn't know he wouldn't be called out for doing something as despicable as this...
 ::)

link



Quote


New York man, 22, 'tries to sell girlfriend's baby online' because partner 'wasn't paying him enough attention'

Paul Marquez has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child and harassment after allegedly offered his partner's child on Craigslist for $100 (£65)

(...)
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Online garb811

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...and stop by Macs and pick up a bag of Doritos on the way please...

Pot plea on Twitter costs Mr. Lube worker his job

Quote
...
The young man, posting under the user name Sunith Baheerathan, was apparently at work on Tuesday when he wrote, "Any dealers in Vaughan wanna make a 20sac chop? Come to Keele/Langstaff Mr. Lube, need a spliff or two to help me last this open to close."

The York Regional Police noticed the post — which has since been removed — and replied: "Awesome! Can we come too?"
...
If it is any consolation to the poor guy, I'm sure his former employer's reaction would have been exactly the same if he had asked for someone to drop him off a sixer of beer.
He's old enough to know what's right
And young enough not to choose it

Offline PMedMoe

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Loose baggy pants foil Florida church robbery suspect's getaway

A robber who was running away with his hands full of loot from a Florida church was caught when his baggy pants started slipping off, a sheriff's spokeswoman said.
 
She said the man, Anthony Jason Garcia, 31, had been praying in the sanctuary of a large Catholic Church near Walt Disney World on Wednesday when he arose, went into the gift shop, grabbed the cash drawer and ran toward the courtyard with church maintenance director Joe Larkin in pursuit.
 
As they ran, Garcia's baggy pants began to fall down, said Orange County Sheriff's spokeswoman Jane Watrel.
 
"So here Garcia is, both hands holding the cash drawer and trying to pull up his pants. So he (Larkin) sees an opening," Watrel said. "He plunges for him and pulls his pants down further which trips up the guy."

More at link

 :rofl:

That'll teach all you "pants on the ground" gangsta wannabes.   :nod:
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Offline PMedMoe

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Rap lyrics crack cold case:  Local rapper charged in 2007 double homicide

Newport News Police say a local rapper's song helped link him to a cold case involving a double homicide in 2007.

On May 10, 2007, officers were dispatched to the 23rd Street and Orcutt Avenue area for reports of shots fired. While en route, the call was upgraded to a shooting after a victim was found lying on a front porch in the 2300 block of Orcutt Avenue.

That victim, identified as Brian Dean, suffered a gunshot wound to the head. Dean was unconscious but breathing and was taken to a local hospital. He was later taken off life support.

A second victim, identified as Christopher Horton, was found suffering from a gunshot wound to the torso behind the home. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

The case eventually went cold.

"The pain never goes away," said Horton's sister Tai Horton. "It's hard. You try not to think about it and let time heal it."

Four years later, the case was assigned to another detective with the Newport News Police Department. According to court documents obtained by WAVY.com , three men were identified as possible suspects.

The detective said witnesses told police Horton and one of the suspects, Antwain Steward, fought prior to the homicides. Two other witnesses came forward and told the detective a rap song had been produced by Steward, also known as "Twain Gotti," referencing the slayings.

That track titled "Ride Out" was found on the internet and contains words investigators believe are about the killings, the detective said.

The song was posted to MySpace in March of 2009.

According to court documents , Steward used various electronic devices to produce several rap songs, which have been posted around the internet and social media. Detectives say Steward raps about and does interviews were he references and brags about crimes and feuds with gangs.

"Who puts something in a song that they did like that," Horton asked? "It's crazy. That's what I think. Why would he do that?"

More at link

IMO, I think all rappers should be in jail for the crime of creating making shitty music.
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Offline 211RadOp

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From the Ottawa Sun

Drunk man calls 911 for pop, snacks: Cops


A Saskatchewan man barricaded himself in his home with a gun when his calls to 911 demanding booze, smokes and snacks were ignored, police say.

At around 3 a.m. Thursday, a North Battleford man called 911 saying he wanted cops to bring him "a pop and some smokes," RCMP said in a statement.

When that didn't work, he allegedly called again, this time demanding police bring him "another mickey of vodka."

When his request was denied a second time, the man told the 911 operator he had a gun and would hurt himself or others, police said.

When officers arrived, he refused orders to exit his home, but "then fell asleep when members did not bring him the snacks he wanted," police said.

Cops entered the home, arrested the man and seized a .22-calibre rifle and ammunition.

The man, 41, is charged with careless use of a firearm, unsafe storage of a firearm, unauthorized possession of a firearm and possession of a weapon for a dangerous purpose.

He's not due to appear in court until Friday morning "due to a high level of intoxication at the time of arrest," police said.

http://www.ottawasun.com/2013/12/05/drunk-man-calls-911-for-pop-snacks-cops
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." Jim Carrey
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Offline PMedMoe

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Florida man faces 142 felony counts after cop sees his Instagram page

The Daily Buzz is quickly becoming a "what not to do" guide to selfie etiquette.

1. Don't take a self-portrait in front of a tragedy. You will make the front page of the paper.

2. Don't pose for a smartphone with your fellow world leaders at a memorial service. You'll end up doing damage control.

3. And don't take selfies that include stolen firearms. You will go to jail.

A south Florida man is learning that third lesson the hard way. Depree Johnson, 19, has been charged with 142 felony counts after his Instagram page got the attention of a local sheriff.

Johnson, who already had a rap sheet that included grand theft, burglary, and felony possession of a firearm, posted incriminating photos of himself flaunting cash, jewelry, drugs and weapons on the site.

The teen earned himself a search warrant.

More at link

 :not-again:
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Offline 211RadOp

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Wasn't sure if this should go here or funniest things, but as he has been charged and sentanced:

http://www.ottawasun.com/2013/12/19/man-caught-masturbating-while-texting-and-driving

Man caught masturbating while texting and driving

A British man caught masturbating while driving his car naked during a steamy text-messaging session has been fined and ordered to do community service.

Another driver spotted Neal Marshall, 49, touching himself on Aug. 8 and called police with Marshall's licence plate, the Chester Chronicle reported. When police contacted Marshall, he told police he had "no comment."

His lawyer Adrian Evans said the case is "bizarre" but Marshall simply got "carried away" while messaging another person. Evans said Marshall never intended for anyone to see what he was doing.

"This does not excuse his actions, but it goes a way to explain why he was seen doing it," Evans said.

Marshall, who lives in Cheshire, pleaded guilty Wednesday to a charge of outraging public decency. He was also ordered to do community service in 2008 for the same charge
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." Jim Carrey
"Do unto others, then run." Benny Hill
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap." Kevin James

Offline PMedMoe

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Man caught masturbating while texting and driving

So much for the myth that men can't multitask....   ;D

Marshall, who lives in Cheshire, pleaded guilty Wednesday to a charge of outraging public decency. He was also ordered to do community service in 2008 for the same charge

Wait....this is his second offense for doing this?   ???
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Offline Yrys

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Man caught masturbating while texting and driving

1 arm for driving,
1 arm for texting,
1 arm for masturbating...

That's  the first 3 arms man that I ever heard about...

IF anyone could post a picture, I would GREATLY appreciate it :D !

Thank you :)
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"Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind."  Marcel Proust

Offline Journeyman

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IF anyone could post a picture, I would GREATLY appreciate it :D !
Please just PM her; no pics required!!   :-\

Offline Yrys

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Please just PM her; no pics required!!   :-\


I'M DEEPLY SORRY to have to make a very small correction here,
Journeyman, BUT pictures in the PM WOULD be greatly appreciated :D :D :D !!!

;)
« Last Edit: December 20, 2013, 16:02:10 by Yrys »
Louvre website

"Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind."  Marcel Proust

Offline Journeyman

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I'M DEEPLY SORRY to have to make a very small correction here,
Journeyman, BUT pictures in the PM WOULD be greatly appreciated :D:D:D !!!
No correction; we are in agreement.  I wish you luck in acquiring pictures of 3-armed, male masturbators....via PM.....and there's NO need to post them to the site.   :nod:

Offline Yrys

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and there's NO need to post them to the site.   :nod:

PFFTTT!!!

DEAR Mike will be in disagreement over that one,
I'm sure HE will see the marketing appeals of
such pics for the website !!!

$$$ rolling in SO  FAST  :nod:

 ;D
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"Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind."  Marcel Proust

Offline Brandonfw

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This man, use to live in my apartment before I moved in it. I still get his mail.........


Police in Dartmouth, N.S. have re-captured a man who escaped by slipping undetected out the back door of a sheriff's van Wednesday morning.
Nova Scotia Justice Department spokesperson Dan Harrison said 48-year-old Thomas Arnold Jones was apprehended in the early afternoon after police implemented a dragnet around the area where he was believed to be hiding.
Harrison said it's still unclear how Jones managed to slip out of the van, which was carrying sheriffs and other inmates who were also bound for court.
PHOTOS
 Thomas Arnold Jones, 48, is seen in this undated image.
Thomas Arnold Jones, 48, is seen in this undated image.
 Police were reportedly searching through backyards and hopping over fences in their attempts to find the escapee, thomas arnold jones, dartmouth escapee
Police were reportedly searching through backyards and hopping over fences in their attempts to find the escapee, thomas arnold jones, dartmouth escapee
 prisoner, escape
prisoner, escape
Jones was to be sentenced for break and enter during his scheduled court appearance on Wednesday, and faces additional charges of assault, unlawful confinement and arson, Harrison said.
Jones escaped from the van around 9:30 a.m. local time.
A CTV News viewer was travelling behind the sheriff's van and photographed the man as he fled from the back of the vehicle and made his escape while wearing leg shackles.
The photo submitted to CTV appears to show the man slipping out the back door of the vehicle, ducking down to avoid detection while the van was stopped on a highway.
CTV Atlantic's Kayla Hounsell, reporting from Dartmouth earlier Wednesday, said police were searching through backyards and hopping over fences in their attempts to find the escapee in an area around the courthouse and nearby hospital.
Hounsell told CTV Atlantic she spoke with a woman who had a terrifying encounter with the escapee.
"She was on her way to the Dollarama and before she could get out of her car this prisoner came up to her car and tried to get in," Hounsell said.
"She of course was very frightened, didn't know what was happening at the time but was able to lock the doors of her car. He stopped and said 'oh' and then took off."


SOURCE:
http://www.ctvnews.ca/police-capture-n-s-man-who-escaped-from-sheriff-s-van-1.768637
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Offline S.M.A.

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 ::)

National Post

 
Quote
Oregon couple allegedly tries to tip for steak dinner with envelope full of meth, predictably gets arrested

SEASIDE, Ore. — A waitress at a U.S. restaurant says she received an unusual tip — an envelope full of methamphetamine.

The Daily Astorian newspaper reports the Oregon waitress contacted police Friday after a couple included the envelope while paying for their drinks.

The responding officer identified the substance and arrested 40-year-old Ryan Bensen and 37-year-old Erica Manley.

“She was like ‘Whoa — what the …?’” said Steve Keszler, a manager at the steakhouse told The Oregonian. “We’re not a little dive bar or hole in the wall. We’re a classy place.”

The couple allegedly tried to pay with a gift card at first, but did not have enough money on the card.

(...)
 
Our Country
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"A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: We did it ourselves."   - Lao Zi (老子)
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"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm."
- Winston Churchill

Offline cupper

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From the police blotter: Driver allegedly causes mayhem (but does stop at traffic light)

http://www.insidenova.com/news/arlington/from-the-police-blotter-driver-allegedly-causes-mayhem-but-does/article_3a0e281c-ce0b-11e3-8f5c-0019bb2963f4.html

Quote
On April 19 at 1:59 a.m., police officers observed an SUV stop in the 1100 block of North Highland Street in Arlington and witnessed a water bottle being thrown at patrons of a bar.

The vehicle took off at a high rate of speed, struck a median and drove recklessly before stopping at a traffic light, police said.
Officers attempted to get the driver out of the vehicle when he allegedly accelerated forward, knocking an officer to the ground. The officer sustained minor injuries.

The suspect, 27-year-old Evan Rowland of Alexandria, was arrested at his home several hours later and was charged with malicious bodily injury to a law-enforcement officer. He was held without bail.
It's hard to win an argument against a smart person, it's damned near impossible against a stupid person.

There is no God, and life is just a myth.

"He who drinks, sleeps. He who sleeps, does not sin. He who does not sin, is holy. Therefore he who drinks, is holy."

Let's Go CAPS!

Offline dapaterson

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Ottawa police have arrested a man for indecently exposing himself in a city park.  His name?  Mr Popadick.


http://ottawapolice.ca/en/mediaroom/newsreleases/14-04-29/8f13e582-b9aa-4d70-b7b9-d9d054d5e659.aspx
This posting made in accordance with the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, section 2(b):
Everyone has the following fundamental freedoms: freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication
http://laws.justice.gc.ca/en/charter/1.html

Offline PMedMoe

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Reckless teen posts “Me Driving Like an Idiot” video and gets himself caught by police

Tip: If you're going to drive like a complete idiot and film it on your dash cam, make sure you accidentally turn yourself in afterward.

That's pretty much what reckless teenager Robert Kelley, 18, did after he decided to joy ride around New Smyra Beach, Florida, crashing into four vehicles and injuring 5 people.

Since he was apparently foolish enough to upload his little dash cam video to YouTube, police have caught him.

Kelley faces charges of reckless driving and driving without a license. Police are even considering laying down a third charge of intentional battery with a vehicle.

More at link

He should have titled his video "Me Posting Incriminating Evidence Like an Idiot".....   ::)
"A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving".
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Offline WR

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This from Windsor Police last night;

Sitting downtown monitoring the drunks---》 Kid comes to my window and asks "Is this where I buy the bacon? ----》 Public intoxication arrest---》 Find pepper spray = Weapons charge ---》 Find 206 grams of khat in his backpack.

So thank you Mr. Darwin and your ongoing assistance to law enforcement everywhere.


If it weren't for dumb people Law Enforcement wouldn't have a job.

Offline 211RadOp

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Just think of the splinters!

http://www.ottawasun.com/2014/05/19/drunk-attempts-to-have-sex-with-cash-machine-picnic-table

Drunk attempts to have sex with cash machine, picnic table
QMI Agency

First posted: Monday, May 19, 2014 03:59 PM EDT | Updated: Monday, May 19, 2014 04:16 PM EDT

A frisky drunk who tried to get personal with a cash machine and a picnic table cooled off behind bars Friday night.

Police in Murfreesboro, Tenn., say Lonnie Hutton, 49, strutted into the Boro Bar and Grill, cozied up to the ATM, pulled down his pants and underwear and then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the machine.

According to wate.com, responding officers found Hutton, still nude from the waist down, walking around the bar, thrusting his hips in the air.

They took Hutton outside and told him to sit at a wooden picnic table.

The police report said he “exposed himself again and engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table.”

Hutton was charged with public intoxication and booked into the Rutherford County jail on $250 bond.

He is scheduled to appear in court July 1.

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." Jim Carrey
"Do unto others, then run." Benny Hill
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap." Kevin James

Offline cupper

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Just think of the splinters!

http://www.ottawasun.com/2014/05/19/drunk-attempts-to-have-sex-with-cash-machine-picnic-table

Drunk attempts to have sex with cash machine, picnic table
QMI Agency

First posted: Monday, May 19, 2014 03:59 PM EDT | Updated: Monday, May 19, 2014 04:16 PM EDT

A frisky drunk who tried to get personal with a cash machine and a picnic table cooled off behind bars Friday night.

Police in Murfreesboro, Tenn., say Lonnie Hutton, 49, strutted into the Boro Bar and Grill, cozied up to the ATM, pulled down his pants and underwear and then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the machine.

According to wate.com, responding officers found Hutton, still nude from the waist down, walking around the bar, thrusting his hips in the air.

They took Hutton outside and told him to sit at a wooden picnic table.

The police report said he “exposed himself again and engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table.”

Hutton was charged with public intoxication and booked into the Rutherford County jail on $250 bond.

He is scheduled to appear in court July 1.

Now we are going to see Sperm Bank ATMs. :D

(I'll pass on the obvious comments about quick deposits and penalties for early withdrawl)
It's hard to win an argument against a smart person, it's damned near impossible against a stupid person.

There is no God, and life is just a myth.

"He who drinks, sleeps. He who sleeps, does not sin. He who does not sin, is holy. Therefore he who drinks, is holy."

Let's Go CAPS!

Offline Brihard

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The thing a lot of people fail to realize about policing is that typically the people you catch in the midst of sex acts tend not to be the people one would want to catch in the midst of sex acts.
Pacificsm is doctrine fostered by a delusional minority and by the media, which holds forth the proposition it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.