One of my college instructors told us about a man who went into a 7-11 in the States. He loitered until the other customers had left the store. At this point he picked up a can of beans and went to the counter. The girl turned around facing away from the man to ring the sale in (this was before computer cash registers), while she did this he took out his private parts and laid them all down on the counter. The girl turned back to this pervert to find him leering at her with a stupid grin. She then grabbed the can of beans and brought them down full force on his stuff. The man screamed and passed out from the pain. The cops were called and attended to make the arrest. Reporters who were monitoring the police band also arrived at the store as this makes interesting news. A police spokesman was quoted as suggesting that perhaps next time the perp might pick up a loaf of bread instead of a heavy can.
Yeah, you can't make this shit up.