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A conspiracy like no other:

a_majoor

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Get out the tin foil, this one makes 9-11 conspiracy theories sound sane:

http://www.milk.com/wall-o-shame/conspiracy.html

Teri Smith TYLER, Plaintiff,
v.
James CARTER, William Clinton, Ross Perot, American Cyanamid, Iron Mountain Security Corporation, Defense Intelligence Agencty, IBM, David Rockerfeller [sic], Rockerfeller [sic] Fund, BCCI, NASA, Defendants.
No. 92 Civ. 8658 (CSH)
Nov. 5, 1993

BACKGROUND
Plaintiff Teri Smith Tyler, appearing pro se, filed a complaint in December 1992 alleging a bizarre conspiracy involving the defendants to enslave and oppress certain segments of our society. Plaintiff contends she is a cyborg, and that she received most of the information which forms the basis for her complaint, through ``proteus,'' which I read to be come silent, telepathic form of communication. ... She asserts that the defendants are involved in the ``Iron Mountain Plan,'' which provides for the reinstitutionalization of slavery and ``bloodsports'' (which she identifies as death-hunting and witchhunting), and the oppression of political dissidents, herself included. Plaintiff's complaint alleged a number of personal indignities visited upon her by defendants: ``strafing of my dormitory room by planes and helicopters, the electronic bugging of my student rooms and apartments, deliberate noise harassment, blasting of loud rock music with lyrics designed for witch-hunts (music about social pariahs) ... students following me around to prevent me from studying, whispering campaigns and social ostrification ...'' ... Plaintiff also makes the following allegations against the defendants. Former President Jimmy Carter was the secret head of the Ku Klux Klan; Bill Clinton is the biological son of Jimmy Carter; President Clinton and Ross Perot have made fortunes in the death-hunting industry, and are responsible for the murder of at least 10 million black women in concentration camps, their bodies sold for meat and their skin turned into leather products. The defendants are also responsible for breeding farms, which turn out 2,000 black girls a year, who are then sold for recreational murder or as human pets. Additionally, the defendants utilize weather control and earthquake technology to threaten other countries that object to the Iron Mountain Plan.

Plaintiff asks the Court to grant her the following relief:

$5.6 billion in compensatory and punitive damages;
A physical accounting of all black women born since 1940, including their present, whereabouts, and for those who have died, an investigation into how they died;
The purchase of land in Africa for the emigration of abused black women;
The bringing to justice of those responsible for the American holocaust;
An investigation into the foster care system, and a physical accounting of all black children placed into foster care;
An end to slavery in the United States;
The end of the cyborg program run by NASA, the Defense Intelligence Agency, American Cyanamid and IBM;
An end to the organ donor program

While plaintiff was trying to effect proper service of the summons and complaint on the defendants, she made a number of appeals to the Court for interim relief in the form of Orders to Show Cause. On January 20, 1993, she asked the Court to enjoin the inauguration of President Clinton. The Court denied her request as moot. In August, 1993, she moved to enjoin the installation of Louis Freeh as Director of the FBI on the ground that Clinton appointed Freeh only so Freeh could cover up evidence of Clinton's wrongdoing. That motion was denied, as it lacked a sufficient evidentiary basis.

Presently before the Court is an Order to Show Cause why the Court should not enjoin the trial in the World Trade Center bombing case, now proceeding in this Court before Judge Duffy. Plaintiff alleges that President Clinton ordered the bombing of the World Trade Center in order to justify war with Iraq. In support of her application, plaintiff describes certain ``proteus'' communications she had with other individuals. Plaintiff alleges that the United States invaded Panama and arrested General Noriega because Noriega objected to United States soldiers raiding Indian tribes in Central America for child sex slaves to torture in American cocaine based thrill-killing rackets. Plaintiff contends she wrote to Noriega asking him to join in her lawsuit, but that United States soldiers holding Noriega beat him when he asked for his mail.

Plaintiff asserts that in 1988, Rajiv Gandshi spoke to her through ``proteus'' and informed her that he was being held prisoner and sexually abused by a man whom he had caught stealing from the funds generated by the Bhopal disaster settlement. According to plaintiff, Yasser Arafat tried to confirm Ghandi's tale of abuse on behalf of the plaintiff, to no avail.

Plaintiff additionally contends that Gulf War against Iraq was undertaken so that American could restock its sexual slavery camps, which had been depleted. 40,000 Iraqi soldiers captured by the United States, selected for their physical attractiveness, have been brought to this country where they were ``being beaten, forced to run gauntlets and homosexually gang-raped by American soldiers.'' Plaintiff claims to have confronted Secretary of Defense Cheney with evidence of this allegation. Cheney, through ``proteus,'' purportedly told the plaintiff, ``Well, we were so sick and tiered of killing black girls. We just had to put some variety back into our death-hunting industry. And they [Persians] are incredibly beautiful. The beauty of the face heightens the pleasure of the kill. I know of no higher pleasure than the gang-rape of exceedingly beautiful people.''

Additionally, the plaintiff alleges that the Serbian government, the ``Nazi Bund,'' the Bank of Commerce and Credit International (``BCCI'') are also involved in the conspiracy.

Attached to plaintiff's papers, and apparently offered to support her claim, are a number of exhibits. Most prominent among the exhibits is a book by Robert Ellis Smith entitled ``Privacy: How To Protect What's Left Of It'' (1979), and a four page illustrated pamphlet advertising pornographic movies starring young men. Plaintiff has circled a number of photos of naked men who appear to be of Mediterranean or Latin American descent, which I interpret as her evidence that Iraqi and Central American men are enslaved in pornographic ``rackets'' ...

The courts had a different view

The Court's Memorandum and Order goes on to explain why the Court is ordering the case dismissed ``sua sponte'' (meaning of the Court's own volition, without prompting by the defendants): because the plaintiff is barking mad and must not be allowed to waste public time and resources in this way.

 
Oh, dear lord.  Thank you for that.  Now I know I am NOT the craziest person out there!

;D
 
Oh goodness gracious me!!!!

And I thought I had problems.
 
That's just another day at the office for me. My all time favourite client was the guy who wanted me to sue God on his behalf.  One day though, I will be able to have a case where I have to prove Santa, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy are all in cahoots...my life will be truly complete then...
 
niner domestic said:
That's just another day at the office for me. My all time favourite client was the guy who wanted me to sue God on his behalf.  One day though, I will be able to have a case where I have to prove Santa, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy are all in cahoots...my life will be truly complete then...

They are....don't you see the conspiracy?
 
Calling the men in little white coats..... Your next candidate is ready......

They're coming to take me away.. ha ha ho ho he he.....
 
Santa is just warming up:

Santa Claus Sequel
Warren J. Hays is still brewing up trouble with that official Ohio identification card issued to him in the name of Santa Claus, listing his address as 1 Noel Drive, showing his birth date as December 25, 1900, and bearing a picture of him in a false beard.

Scroll down to “Santa Clause is coming to courrrt” for the first installment of this adventure.

After being involved in a minor accident in his car, “which resembled a sleigh,” Hays presented his Santa Claus ID to the other party, who showed it to a police officer-friend of hers. The officer, suspecting that Hays might not really be Santa Claus, met with the prosecutor, who filed a misdemeanor complaint against Hays alleging that he provided false information in obtaining an the Ohio ID card.

The instant action was Hays’ suit for malicious prosecution and abuse of process, which he lost.

The burning question that remains is how a man in a false beard claiming to be Santa Claus could obtain an official state ID card? On the other hand, maybe he really is Santa Claus, in which case the state should quit hassling him so he can get ready for the holidays.
— Santa Claus, a.k.a. Warren J. Hays v. Merkel, Case No. 2003-T-0082 (Ohio Ct. App., 11th Dist. 2004).
Santa Claus is Coming to Court
For reasons never explained in the opinion, a man named Warren J. Hayes obtained an official Ohio Identification Card in the name of "Santa Claus." He also managed to get an official motor vehicle registration, AAA membership card, and checking account in Santa's name, all of them listing his address as 1 Noel Drive, North Pole USA.

Hayes/Claus ran into trouble when he was involved in a minor car accident and produced his Santa Claus ID to a cop. He was charged under an Ohio statute prohibiting the use of "fictitious" names.

Perhaps in the Christmas spirit (although the case was decided in the heat of summer), Ohio Judge Thomas P. Gysegem let Mr. Hayes/Claus off the hook with this reasoning:

[T]he court's dilemma is whether Santa's act of displaying this identification card under these circumstances and with this history (noted above) violated the law, to wit, Was this identification card "fictitious"?

Webster's Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines "fictitious." Its analysis of the word includes a synonym comparison with "fabulous," "legendary," "mythical," and "apocryphal":

"Fabulous stresses the marvelous or incredible character of something without distinctly implying impossibility or actual nonexistence; Legendary suggests the elaboration of invented details and distortion of historical facts produced by popular tradition; Mythical implies a purely fanciful explanation of facts or the creation of beings and events out of the imagination; Apocryphal implies an unknown or dubious source or origin for an account circulated as true or genuine. * * * Fictitious implies fabrication and suggests artificiality or contrivance more than deliberate falsification or deception."

Had Santa been charged with being "fabulous, legendary, mythical or apocryphal," he might well indeed be guilty facing up to 180 days in jail and a $1,000 fine. However, to sustain the burden of going forward, the state must make a showing that Santa knowingly displayed an identification card that was "fictitious." This the state has not done. The fact that Santa had an ongoing relationship for 20 years with the BMV is not indicative of "artificiality or contrivance," for, in fact, under the publicly held records of the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles, Santa has been a "real person" since as early as 1982.

How in the world did the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles allow this guy to obtain and renew official documents in the name of Santa Claus for 20 consecutive years?
— State v. Hayes, 119 Ohio Misc. 2d 124 (2002)
 
Here's proof...we caught them having fun in the sun.
 
If THAT is Santa, I've been sitting on the wrong Lap all my life!
 
That's the one that comes to me in my dreams.  ;D       



oooppps....wrong dreams.
 
Rodahn said:
And how does the "Great Pumpkin" fit into this?????

Oh, I didn't think anybody wanted to see him....so I had cropped him out of the picture....here he is
 
I'm currently in the interesting business of receiving and reviewing grievances for Reservists & harrassment complaints for LFQA...........

Dealing with Santa, the great pumkin, the tooth fairy and everry other form of "oopsie"

Interesting - but would not want to make a career out of this.
 
Well I join von Garvin/ Grogdard in the fact that I as well have been sitting on the wrong laps....
 
Hey, you guys have your santa and I'll have mine....tell me...would you rather sit in the lap of some dirty old, hairy man with garlic on his breath or......


thought so.  ;D
 
GAP said:
Hey, you guys have your santa and I'll have mine....tell me...would you rather sit in the lap of some dirty old, hairy man with garlic on his breath or......


thought so.  ;D

Well, even dirty old ladies need a lap to sit on......... ;D
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdEu7wFaaK0&search=JFK%20on%20Secret%20Societies

I've been told recently to watch the JFK movie with Kevin Costner and pay close attention to the General X scenes. Anyone familiar?
 
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