Accepting that you can't be a soldier
- Thread starter PrairieBoy
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PrairieBoy said:
Your best bet would be to find a Provincial Career Counsellor, and be honest with them in what you are looking for in a career, also be honest with them with your limitations. Remember that everyones medical info my be private, but if you are willing to share some of that info with people who are trained in helping people pick careers then they may have some incentive for you to try and achieve.
Also just because you have a condition, may or may not mean that it actually limits your abilities in life; but with some conditions not every employer will want to take the risk of possibly making the condition worse or unsafe.
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I would assert that there are already people serving with asperger's/some other form of high functioning autism. I can think of one for sure who lines up with the symptoms almost 100%. Not really sure how they got in, but voila...
medicineman
Army.ca Legend
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Spectrum said:
About 100% of us on these boards also have traits for personality disorders - doesn't mean we have a PD, just the traits.
As far as people getting in with it (and some do get in because they were never diagnosed with it or have learned to control it), unless the person is dragged up on the carpet for conduct issues related to that and gets a formal assessment by a shrink, chances are they're going to slip through. If you were to read the DSM-IV TR and look at yourself, you could easily (and incorrectly in all likelihood) diagnose yourself with a gazillion things...most illnesses in the world have common symptoms, the trick is sorting out the extraneous chaff from the wheat. It's kind of what happens with medical students when they start reading their text books too much...
Not saying the people you're thinking of don't have Asperger's, however, I know lots of people that could fit that bill too, but don't have it.
MM
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Quite likely, depending on how you mean that. ;DLoachman said:
"Normal" is the setting on a washing machine. Who wants that?
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Loachman said:
Most insane people think they are the sane ones and everyone else is crazy ;D .
IRT the OP, Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.
I'm not speaking specifically to military service I am talking about life. Too often we see people in this society who fail at something and are looking for an excuse. This usually results in a convenient diagnosis that may or may not be 100% accurate.
I was diagnosed with dyslexia as a child. My teachers wanted to provide me with accommodations, but thank goodness my father knew better: "This just means you have to work twice as hard, let's get to work." After years of working hard at my studies and moreso overcoming the label, I only have it affect me when I am either hammered or extremely tired.
FWIW, If you're not up to snuff for the CF; work hard, find your skill sets, and master them so you can become a productive & contributing member of society. If that is pumping gas or curing cancer, your contributions are integral for this country to function.
Honestly, just move on, keep your chin up, and give whatever comes your way your best shot (pun not intended).
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OP, I appreciate your candour and I am sure that many other people who have had similar experiences do as well. Realizing that you aren't all that you thought you were cracked up to be is a pretty painful moment. My own experience differs in many regards, which I will relate below, but for those out there who left the P.Res and years later want to go Reg.F. I hope you can draw some valuable lessons from it.
As my username indicates, I was once a very proud member of the Queen's Own Rifles. I applied while I was 16 and forged all of the parental signatures on the application forms. I was sworn in Oct. 20 -2004 and began my BMQ a few weeks after that. I had turned 17 in the meantime and felt pretty sure that I was the toughest shit around. Hindsight being what it is, I was nothing more than a child who wanted to play at JTF-Ninja-Club on the weekends without any concept of the obligations and responsibilities I had agreed to. I mistakenly saw the CF as an easy way to escape from an abusive home.
Friday night of the first day on course I saw real soldiers for the first time. Our CSM was a war horse from the 48'th Highlanders named MacIntyre (sp?) and to this day ranks as the toughest person I have ever been in the same room as. I am sure that he saw right through me. I am sure that all of the course staff saw right through me. I was a kid trying to play an adult's game. Nonetheless, I persevered and did complete my BMQ. Of course I made every mistake someone can possibly make and was probably the butt of most of the staff's jokes when no one could hear.
Examples of my myriad failures include severely spraining my ankle and refusing medical treatment because I didn't want to appear as 'weak'. Contracting Mono during the latter half of the course and being hallucinatory during training from the effects of the virus. My performance suffered as you can imagine and I brought much wrath upon my own head. Also foolishly trying to bullshit the staff (I have since learned that this is impossible but it goes to show my naivete). Or just the general lack of maturity needed to process honest advice from the staff.
To compound the above factors, I was also the primary witness to an 'assault with a weapon' that had taken place between my parents. My decision to testify meant that I was no longer welcome at home and became homeless for stretches of time. Luckily I had my course and parade pay so I could survive off of deli food and subs during the week. Unfortunately that meant that on Sunday nights when everyone else was going home, I was sleeping in some bushes behind my high school and showering in the bathroom sinks the next morning. This situation couldn't go on forever and I ended up releasing in the fall of '05.
At the time, I felt devastated that I had somehow failed my country. Years later I had the perspective to see that the processes designed to weed out the weak and unfit had worked exactly as intended. All the bitterness I felt has long since been replaced with admiration for the staff's professionalism. I went on to do a year of university. Then I managed some retail outlets while I got my personal life in order. Finally, 7 years later I have a great wife, great marks in school and am planning on rejoining as a NCM-SEP. I have come to understand that a relationship is about both parties bringing 100% to the table. Now that I have sorted myself out, I feel confident that I have the tools to succeed.
Many of you reading this have already conquered many of the hurdles that life has thrown in your way. For those of you who have failed or fallen short, I hope that my experiences help put your own into perspective for you. Regardless of how shitty your life is, you can improve it bit by bit if you are patient and get up each time you fall.
My brother went down a similar road and I don't have all the details because we stopped talking years ago, but, here is a condensed version of his struggles:
He joined as a medic in the summer of '03. When I released he decided to go Reg.F. and joined PPCLI. He did a tour in Afghanistan. On leave he 'mutinied' or whatever the term is for someone who refuses to return to theatre. He spent the rest of his contract counting socks with some civilians in the Logistics part of Shilo. He suffered from really severe PTSD and depression over letting all of his friends down. He got help through the CF. He went back to school and got his GED and even received an award from the L.Gov. of Manitoba for scoring so high on it. He has since graduated from college and has a good job. He is expecting a second child soon. He has put his life back together.
Good luck on your own journey.
As my username indicates, I was once a very proud member of the Queen's Own Rifles. I applied while I was 16 and forged all of the parental signatures on the application forms. I was sworn in Oct. 20 -2004 and began my BMQ a few weeks after that. I had turned 17 in the meantime and felt pretty sure that I was the toughest shit around. Hindsight being what it is, I was nothing more than a child who wanted to play at JTF-Ninja-Club on the weekends without any concept of the obligations and responsibilities I had agreed to. I mistakenly saw the CF as an easy way to escape from an abusive home.
Friday night of the first day on course I saw real soldiers for the first time. Our CSM was a war horse from the 48'th Highlanders named MacIntyre (sp?) and to this day ranks as the toughest person I have ever been in the same room as. I am sure that he saw right through me. I am sure that all of the course staff saw right through me. I was a kid trying to play an adult's game. Nonetheless, I persevered and did complete my BMQ. Of course I made every mistake someone can possibly make and was probably the butt of most of the staff's jokes when no one could hear.
Examples of my myriad failures include severely spraining my ankle and refusing medical treatment because I didn't want to appear as 'weak'. Contracting Mono during the latter half of the course and being hallucinatory during training from the effects of the virus. My performance suffered as you can imagine and I brought much wrath upon my own head. Also foolishly trying to bullshit the staff (I have since learned that this is impossible but it goes to show my naivete). Or just the general lack of maturity needed to process honest advice from the staff.
To compound the above factors, I was also the primary witness to an 'assault with a weapon' that had taken place between my parents. My decision to testify meant that I was no longer welcome at home and became homeless for stretches of time. Luckily I had my course and parade pay so I could survive off of deli food and subs during the week. Unfortunately that meant that on Sunday nights when everyone else was going home, I was sleeping in some bushes behind my high school and showering in the bathroom sinks the next morning. This situation couldn't go on forever and I ended up releasing in the fall of '05.
At the time, I felt devastated that I had somehow failed my country. Years later I had the perspective to see that the processes designed to weed out the weak and unfit had worked exactly as intended. All the bitterness I felt has long since been replaced with admiration for the staff's professionalism. I went on to do a year of university. Then I managed some retail outlets while I got my personal life in order. Finally, 7 years later I have a great wife, great marks in school and am planning on rejoining as a NCM-SEP. I have come to understand that a relationship is about both parties bringing 100% to the table. Now that I have sorted myself out, I feel confident that I have the tools to succeed.
Many of you reading this have already conquered many of the hurdles that life has thrown in your way. For those of you who have failed or fallen short, I hope that my experiences help put your own into perspective for you. Regardless of how shitty your life is, you can improve it bit by bit if you are patient and get up each time you fall.
My brother went down a similar road and I don't have all the details because we stopped talking years ago, but, here is a condensed version of his struggles:
He joined as a medic in the summer of '03. When I released he decided to go Reg.F. and joined PPCLI. He did a tour in Afghanistan. On leave he 'mutinied' or whatever the term is for someone who refuses to return to theatre. He spent the rest of his contract counting socks with some civilians in the Logistics part of Shilo. He suffered from really severe PTSD and depression over letting all of his friends down. He got help through the CF. He went back to school and got his GED and even received an award from the L.Gov. of Manitoba for scoring so high on it. He has since graduated from college and has a good job. He is expecting a second child soon. He has put his life back together.
Good luck on your own journey.
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