BMQ and seperation anxiety

[paracowboy]

He soldiered on and made an injury worse. Sounds like Infantry material to me - tough and not too bright.
He has to learn to differentiate (every wannabe and FNG pay attention here!) between being hurt and being injured.
Hurtin' is nuthin'. You can drive through hurt. It's just your body trying to tell your mind to ease off. It's your body being lazy and weak.
Injured is sumthin' altogether diff'rent. Injured means you have broken sumthin' in your body somewhere. If you drive on with an injury, you are going to make it worse, causing you to let your section down, and the mission may fail.

But, Grunts don't always grasp that until they get old and the injuries start to mount up.  : (Not that I was ever that stupid. I never forced myself through an injury.  : ) It's refreshing to see the change in Sr NCO's outlook on this now, though. Before, unless you were losing significant amounts of blood, or had bone protruding, you were expected to drive on. Now, they'd rather see a troop get himself repaired properly before he makes himself worse.

Tell your ol' man, that shite happens. His first priority here is to get the problem fixed, no matter how long it may take, or if it causes him to get re-coursed. If he doesn't get it repaired now, it will just become worse later, causing him to miss even more training, and possibly get medical'd off the Queen's shilling completely (worst case scenario, don't panic). He will be no good to his fellow troops, his unit, or his family if he gets himself completely broken.

That's coming from a guy who is being medical'd out of the only job he's ever truly loved. Because he soldiered on when he should have faced reality a long time back. And now, I can't be employed in my Beloved Infantry anymore, I will never jump from an airplane in flight again, I am useless.
Further, the only job I was looking seriously at after my 20 was Law Enforcement. Now, there is no LE Agency in North America that will touch me, as I cannot be insured.
So, I have no education, no fall-back options, and no prospects. Because I soldiered on when I should have gotten fixed up.
Learn from this. Don't let yourselves get to this state.

 

[jesses_girl]

my bf/spouse has been at basic for 2 weeks now, and i have been so supportive and positive; trying to make his first time away from family and friends as easy as possible...

i'm just kinda starting to realize now that i have to find some sort of support system for myself as well...since i have been keeping all my "sh*tty" moods away from him as i am trying to be supportive...and i know that anything i am going through here can't be nearly as bad as how it is there...

there are a few other army gf's that i talk to when i am feeling really cruddy...but other than that i am really just trying to keep myself busy so i don't think about things too much....

anyone have any other ideas?

 

[Bert]

Paracowboy

Further, the only job I was looking seriously at after my 20 was Law Enforcement. Now, there is no LE Agency in North America that will touch me, as I cannot be insured.  So, I have no education, no fall-back options, and no prospects

We all at army.ca still love you!  :-*

 

[paracowboy]

Paracowboy
We all at army.ca still love you!

I dunno, dude. Apparently, there are at least 17 people who don't.  ;D Or maybe one person who doesn't, but doesn't a LOT.  ;D BWAAAHAhahahaha!
Too bad I can't "demote" myself! Nobody hates me more than me! After all, I know me better than anyone.

 

[armyjewelz]

Ya and apparently 2 more people hate me right now than did an hour ago.. GEESH!!!

 

[armyjewelz]

Good on ya, I can relate!

HAve you tried the CMFRC or Canadian Military Family Resource Center?

I have found it to be a great source of help in all the services they offer me from a cheap gym membership, daycare, social groups the works.

Also helpful to find wives/gfs that are somewhere close to what you are going through or have gone through it recently.  I get the best support from my friends who's DH's just finished BMQ as opposed to (and I love you all too) the one who have no idea cause it's been so long.

Overtime you grow immune to the seperation or at least find it much easier to deal with so sometimes talking to people just going through it for the first time helps.

 

[Springroll]

A couple suggestions to keep your mind off of him being away:

-take up a hobby. I started beading.
-participate in some of the activities through the MFRC
-start a coffee group with women going through the same, or that have gone through it.

Feel free to msn me anytime you need to just chat...

 

[armyjewelz]

HA! for some reason when I read beading, I thought it said BREEDING and I was going to ask what dh thought of that! LMAO! 

 

[Elisha]

I'd have to agree with staying busy, find a hobby.  When my husband was away I took up crocheting (sp).  Meeting people, going for coffee...get involved as much as you can.  If you are unsure of where to start, the mfrc is a great place to look.  There are also very many support websites around that will be a great help as well.

Good luck and feel free to pm me if you need.


Elisha

 

[Springroll]

HA! for some reason when I read beading, I thought it said BREEDING and I was going to ask what dh thought of that! LMAO!  

well if you consider breeding a hobby, then go for it  ;D :-*

 

[Buford001]

Hello,
Yes doing a hobby will help pass the time. How about scrapbooking you can do wonderful pages with pictures and journals. I am in the beginning of creating one. The MFRC is great to get to know people and they also have craft days for adults. Sitting around the table having coffee and cookies doing something crafty. The last one i attended we made shrinky dinks , something i did as a child but forgotten . It was fun and relaxing 2 hours.

Have you thought of going to the gym?

Have fun .

be well
Diane

 

[Springroll]

Good idea, Diane!!

I totally forgot about the scrapbooking I did when hubby was gone! I also got into card making. Simple things that really do pass the time quickly, especially if you are busy making a small one up for your s/o...  

 

[Buford001]

Well thank you Springroll,
I also do cards (embossed) for the last 9 years it was actually a hobby that turned into a business creating over 700 cards for Xmas season (can you say burn out, I owned and ran 3 businesses from home). I am just starting to scrapbook but feel i have creators block right now.lol But I am patient I know its not that difficult I journal everyday and i have over $5000 in supplies (papers, punches, cutters, stamps, etc..) I know it is going to be loads of fun .

be well
Diane

 

[tourwife]

Don't forget because your significant other is away for more then 4 weeks, you're able to access deployment childcare if it's offerred on your base, as well as any other deployment events that are offered.  Take this time to try new things and join new groups.  This is a great time to learn new things, and I guarantee by the time he comes back you'll learn so many new things about yourself.

 

[Springroll]

Well thank you Springroll,
I also do cards (embossed) for the last 9 years it was actually a hobby that turned into a business creating over 700 cards for Xmas season (can you say burn out, I owned and ran 3 businesses from home). I am just starting to scrapbook but feel i have creators block right now.lol But I am patient I know its not that difficult I journal everyday and i have over $5000 in supplies (papers, punches, cutters, stamps, etc..) I know it is going to be loads of fun .

be well
Diane

I also started an at home business to help keep me busy and keep up my candle stocks..hehehe In the end, it was not the business for me, but it did keep me distracted from the loneliness, which was one of the big reasons for doing it.

 

[jesses_girl]

Have you thought of going to the gym?

ha...pretty much all i do right now is: work...go to the gym....do housework...sleep....

i've always been very active and done lots of different activities....i always think though about how i want to make sure i am home for when he calls and when he does come home for a break how i want to spend all my time with him then....i know i will get used to this whole situation and i wont plan my life around him ALL the time...its just kinda hard to find the balance right now

 

[Aislinn]

Wow, I remember this. My fiance just finished his BMQ this summer. I remember not wanting to leave home in case I missed a call. Got over that, though, when I realized I had to live my own life. You should try setting up a calling schedule, that way you won't be as worried about missing calls. Ours was (really early!) Sunday mornings.
I also did cards and scrapbooking! Too funny. I sent care packages of stuff I was working on, which my fiance loved. I also did a little booklet for him, with letters to open at the end of each week, explaining various thoughts on our life together and offering encouragement. And I worked out a lot as I was trying (and am now in) the army, too. I found that I rediscovered my own self as an individual. We've been together so long, that I had forgotten what and who I was without him, if that makes any sense. I'm stronger for it, but I also reaffirmed how much my fiance and our life together means to me. It gets easier, I promise.
I was actually most worried about my fiance coming home and the both of us having to readjust to life together, but my worries turned out to be nothing. Tons of us here know what you're going through, so write if you're ever feeling down.

Take care.

 

[kimmie]

All the girls said great things. There are so many options for support, it makes it lots of fun. I find I love both my friends whose hubbies just joined and those who are old pros at it. Sometimes those ladies have been through it enough times they have some great advice and tricks that really work. Mind you, I'm most likely listed as one of those who don't mind the separations.  ;D :

 

[army.gf]

hi everyone,
    I'm new here, I was actually looking around for some support/similar forums. I just wanted to say that reading these posts has made me feel better already. Since I don't live on a base or anywhere near one, sometimes I feel like I'm the only one in the whole world experiencing this. It was incredibly reassuring to read your stories about missing phone calls, because I can completely relate! My boyfriend has been in the Army for over a year now, and is about to go on his first tour.So, I'm not new to this situation, but I definitly wish I sought support sooner! This site has been very helpful, and I hope to get to know some of you in the future!

 

[Mojo Magnum]

So far I've completed BMQ and am currently in my last week of SQ.  All is "rollin" well. 

Easily, the most difficult part of both courses has been being away from my wife and three children.  I have been VERY fortunate in that, being from Ontario, I've been home almost every weekend that I've been granted leave.  Even the seven hour drive from ST. JEAN was worth it.  (when you're really home sick, it's no biggie). 

Having said that, I've found that getting home always seems to make returning on Monday pretty tuff.


Anyone have any coping strategies for separation from the family????