CF application consultant

[aesop081]

Do you figure a 1 GB Memory Stick would be big enough, or should I get a 2 Gig?

All depnds on what trade you plan on applying for. (if you dotn know what trade you want , i can assign you one) But as a general rule, The bigger the stick, the better

Do you provide support after enrolment?  Will you do Basic Infantry for me?

Sure, i could use a 13-week vacation with room and board.  Post-recruitment activities cost extra. Some restrictions apply. Space is limited. Contact a CFAC for details

Sounds like you need at least 3. What do I have to score on the Urine test to get into the Jtfninjasnipercomandos?

The urine test for the CFJNSCR ( canadian forces JTF ninja sniper comando regiment) require you to be 100 % drug-free.  I know its not fair and you wanted to join since you were 5 seconds old but ther it is

 

[vangemeren]

All depnds on what trade you plan on applying for. (if you dotn know what trade you want , i can assign you one) ....

What's that process like? What is their (your) methodology?

Can I assume that it is based of the urine test?

 

[Michael OLeary]

The urine test for the CFJNSCR ( canadian forces JTF ninja sniper comando regiment) require you to be 100 % drug-free.  I know its not fair and you wanted to join since you were 5 seconds old but ther it is

OK, so, like .... after this joint .... how long do i have to wait before i can pee into the USB port?

 

[aesop081]

OK, so, like .... after this joint .... how long do i have to wait before i can pee into the USB port?

I'm still waiting for your check O'leary 

 

[Thorvald]

The urine test for the CFJNSCR ( canadian forces JTF ninja sniper comando regiment) require you to be 100 % drug-free.  I know its not fair and you wanted to join since you were 5 seconds old but ther it is

Heheh, I can relate to that statement.   I just wrote my CFAT recently and afterwards they handed out that voluntary drug form.  No issue for me, caffeine and alcohol thanks, but the kids that were in the group I was with were writing furiously and seemed to be really getting a kick out of this form (I had only heard of about 15 of the 250 or so drugs listed on that form...Christmas Tree's and Red Poppers, E ?!?  Whatever happened to weed and hash...Christ).

Afterwards when I was sitting with the Cpl. to organize my next steps, a navy Lt. dropped off a handful of folders of "administrative drops" (or something like that).  They had passed the CFAT with no issue but had been brutally honest on the drug form... apparently it read like a shopping list for a narcotics squad.  These kids had tried almost everything on that list.

So much for them making the CFJNSCR squad!

(And yes, before you ask, I believe one of them did say they wanted to be a Sniper... : )

 

[Michael OLeary]

OK, put that one on my tab.  I promise, the cheque's in the mail. 

 

[aesop081]

(And yes, before you ask, I believe one of them did say they wanted to be a Sniper... : )

The CF needs me to act as a filter...before they get to the doors of the CFRC

OK, put that one on my tab.  I promise, the cheque's in the mail. 

Your credit's no good here.......If i had a dime for every time i've heard that.

Wait a minute....you are not my ex-wife in disguise are you ?

 

[Michael OLeary]

Wait a minute....you are not my ex-wife in disguise are you ?

Maybe, how much extra income are you expecting from this little venture?

 

[aesop081]

Maybe, how much extra income are you expecting from this little venture?

:sniper:

 

[Pea]

So.. I am a small female and I want to join the infantry because I heard it was so much fun. But someone told me that when we go camping that we have to go for long walks. They said the bags are really heavy too. Will you carry my bag on the long walk? I really want to play camping too, but I am scared.

 

[aesop081]

So.. I am a small female and I want to join the infantry because I heard it was so much fun. But someone told me that when we go camping that we have to go for long walks. They said the bags are really heavy too. Will you carry my bag on the long walk? I really want to play camping too, but I am scared.

I accept all major credit cards, E-mail money transfers, paypal, certified checks and cash.....you know where to find me

 

[George Wallace]

How much are you charging Franchisees?

You had better think this over.  It looks like you have bit off more than you can chew and need to open franchises across the country to handle the sudden influx (Paracowboy may like that word - "influx" has a ring to it, doesn't it?) of young and old (we can't discriminate) who may need their hands held in those tender moments when they think that they may have thoughts of entering a CFRC and signing on the dotted line (if they do that anymore).

 

[camochick]

I want to join the infantry but I'm pretty demanding, can you carry a portable shower for me, oooohhh and a bed so i dont have to sleep on the icky floor, oh yeah and i need a heater for those cold nights, and i dont want to have to carry my own ruck, and I cant possible go a day without blowdrying my hair so I need some sort of generator ohhhh yeah I can't eat rations, I need fresh fruit and perrier everyday. This infantry thing wont be so bad with aesop doing everything for me. Where do I sign up? >

 

[scoutfinch]

okay, like aesop, do you extend your services to CAP courses too... cause I have to do one soon. 

Okay, so like, I wanna be an officer but, like, I hear that officers have to go into the field to do their training, too.  So, like, I wanna know if I will get days off so my boyfriend can come and see me but, like, i need to know when he can come so that I can like go to the spa a day or so before so i can get my manicure done and my legs waxed and everything.  So, can i get a like a schedule of my hours for the summer

... and is it possible to have lunch a little later in the afternoon 'cause i would like to use that *down time* to get some even sun exposure so i don't like develop tan lines 'cause that would look so gross. 

Oh yeah, are there like any good dance clubs in Fredericton and do the local guys make lots of money and like army chicks?

Thanks aesop for all your help.  Being Army Barbie is going to be fun.

 

[aesop081]

okay, like aesop, do you extend your services to CAP courses too... cause I have to do one soon.

No, but i can give you sufficient tips and advice to complete CAP without actualy doing any work.
 

Okay, so like, I wanna be an officer but, like, I hear that officers have to go into the field to do their training, too.  So, like, I wanna know if I will get days off so my boyfriend can come and see me but, like, i need to know when he can come so that I can like go to the spa a day or so before so i can get my manicure done and my legs waxed and everything.  So, can i get a like a schedule of my hours for the summer

Have you considered being a JAG officer ?

... and is it possible to have lunch a little later in the afternoon 'cause i would like to use that *down time* to get some even sun exposure so i don't like develop tan lines 'cause that would look so gross.

The tan is provided.  Its not the best but i can recomend certain products that will help you acheive that "healthy" look you are going for.
 

Oh yeah, are there like any good dance clubs in Fredericton and do the local guys make lots of money and like army chicks?

Depends what you call "good".  I'm very familiar with the Fredericton bar scene and can make recomendations for whatever suits your fancy.  Unfortunately the local male population is not something familiar with but, if you should decide to "bat for the other team", i can certainly point you towards a number of femals i am quite familiar with.  Just dont mention you know me !!

Thanks aesop for all your help.  Being Army Barbie is going to be fun.

I am expecting payment by the end of the week , or my lawyer will be in touch

 

[scoutfinch]

(whispering with an elbow dug into his side)....

ummmmm aesop -- I thought I WAS your lawyer!

 

[aesop081]

(whispering with an elbow dug into his side)....

ummmmm aesop -- I thought I WAS your lawyer!

Have i received you C.V. ?

'nuff said

 

[navymich]

Wow, I miss all the fun when I go away....

Hey Aesop, since they accepted you, maybe you can do my interview for me?  You must know a bit more by now  :  and yes, I know, this is going to cost me isn't it 

 

[aesop081]

Bump...its old but i need new buisness.....

 

[Fyuri]

Good evening folks, I'm here on behalf of the Better Business Bureau, to investigate one 'cdnaviator' and his time spent as a "Canadian Forces Application Consultant". It would appear that, after receiving payments from unsuspecting victims, Mr. aviator would retire to a luxurious hotel in a tropical paradise of his choosing. He would become quite intoxicated, and then fly back home, where he would tarnish the reputation and destroy the integrity of his clientelle by showing up for his 'appointments' a week late, and drunk. This cannot be tolerated, and therefore, this operation must be shut down. Unless, of course, Mr. aviator would promise to give me a discount while doing my Basic training. Do extra pushups for me, too. Oh, and tell the wife. Please. Good day, folks.