Job offered, and would like to hear some opinions

[Sub_Guy]

Take the offer.

And your balls, make like MJ and beat it.  Besides you are young, the odds are stacked against you and your relationship.  Which if it were as serious as you say, we wouldn't be posting about it.

 

[aesop081]

but all of this even has me starting to wonder.

Well then, i guess you're not as committed to her as you thought.

 

[Jarnhamar]

Thanks again, and feel free to say whatever you think of this.

You should turn down your offer and not look back. There are other people ready to fight tooth and nail to join the military and fight tyranny and chaos(ha).


Big chance that;

You won't take the offer and she will end up leaving you after you help pay off her debt. You'll blame us for not making you join.
You'll take the offer and she'll leave you down the road. You'll blame us for making you choose the military.


Maybe though, you'll choose to stop thinking of "you" and start thinking of the people that will be helped by helping make the Canadian Forces stronger.

 

[Deelo]

Thanks again, and feel free to say whatever you think of this.

This is just opinion, and based upon my personal experience:
I'm starting BMQ on 23 April after accepting a position in the CF. I'm leaving my wife of 3-1/2 years (been together for 8-1/2 years) at home with our 3 month old baby while I train for most of the next year or so. Ideal situation? Not by a long shot. Will sacrifices be made? Absolutely. When I got the call, there was no question that I was accepting it, as I want to serve the country which has given me so much.  If you want it, accept. If you aren't sure, don't.

 

[Gunner98]

If you can't commit to a course of action now, what will you do when the training gets hard.

If you turn down the offer what is your fall back position in terms of supporting her and contributing to the household while you pay down her debts.

Some of life's hardest decisions come when you actually get what you ask/apply for. 

Carpe Diem - seize the day - do not wonder about an unlived life, reap the harvest of the seeds you plant.

 

[estoguy]

I agree with a lot of the other posters... If I was in your shoes and was handed the opportunity, I'd take it.  No questions. 

Either your lady will understand or she won't.  If she truly loves you and wants you to happy as well, she'll understand.  And as a teacher, her job can be picked up anywhere.  She may lose the benefit of a government pension, but there is nothing to stop her from contributing to her RRSP either.

Your own life, career and happiness are dependent upon you, not anyone else.  I was in a relationship when I started my process, and although she had reservations about me going, I told her in no uncertain terms that if I got accepted, that I'd be going, no matter what.

 

[curious george]

I'm in no position to tell you what to do.  However, I'm trying to imagine myself in your shoes.  I'd take the job, then let her decide what to do.  In other words, put the ball in her hands.  You'll also see how committed she is to you, another important factor.

 

[Mushroom]

For those of you who think if she loves him she can just pick up teaching anywhere you must not realize that teaching jobs (especially permanent ones) are not easy to come by, If your gf has a permanent position I wouldn't recommend she gives it up to travel the country with you, She probably won't be able to find another permanent one anytime soon and what would be the point if you were just going to move again and again and again. Teaching is not a job you can just pick up in any city (at least not these days) there is allot of competition out there and even if she can get a job as a temp or "Substitute" it wouldn't compare to an actual full time teaching gig, also since she has accumulated some debts her fulltime job is going to look allot better than a part time job as a substitute for paying those pesky loans off,  unless of course you plan on helping pay off said debts with your salary as a private which isn't much ( but hey, you dont join the military to make the big bucks)

  You need to decide soon, If you are unsure now your going to be one of those week 5 dropouts because you miss your gf. 6 years is allot of time to give up on someone so I understand the hesitation but maybe you should talk to the recruiter about getting a later BMQ date so you have the time to figure it out (not that you shouldn't have figured it out way back when she was still in school or maybe before) so your not just wasting the spot that couldeve gone to someone that has been waiting, is more serious  and obviously wanting it more than you, because lets be honest, there are people willing to kill to get a spot this year and your not even sure your willing to leave your gf.



Edit:  You might also consider the reserves oppose to going reg force,  then you can stay with your long time gf and still get to serve your country

 

[Maxadia]

As a schoolteacher, I'll jump in.

No, you can just get posted anywhere and have her walk into a new teaching job.  In MANY parts of the country, it's almost impossible right now to get a good job, and if you do, you might end up in a division where their contract doesn't have any seniority in it.

You're right...one of you has to give something up, or face the consequences of being unhappy.

So give up the job, give up the girl, or give up the idea of both of you finding a happy compromise...it's extremely rare.

Already mentioned.  It's humorous seeing how many people on here are adamant about the fact that it is so competitive to get into the forces, but just assume that you can pick up a teaching job anywhere....

Pot....meet kettle.  ;D

 

[MKos]

Personally my opinion is to ditch the girl you are not married, I was with a women for 3 years and when I applied (around 7 months ago) she said I had to choose her or the job that would have me gone from home a lot. Personally it was an easy choice it was basically trading my future for hers and I said "Nice knowing you" and handed in my application now I am merit listed and could not have been happier with my decision. It sucked for a little while without her but honestly you get over it I would never compromise my future for anyone else's sake when it comes to decisions like this. Obviously if you were married with kids that is different. I don't know you or your relationship but imagine if she hits the road in a year and you are left wishing you would have taken the job.

you have some thinking to do.

I would have to agree with this!  :nod:

 

[jemcgrg]

I'm definitely of the opinion that you should not take the job offer at this point. I've been waiting three years to get in and it looks like I am probably going to have to wait a 4th because of the cutbacks.

My boyfriend is already in the military and when we met he knew I was trying to get in. He also understand that when I get in I will have to be away and once I'm trained we might not get posted together but he is completely understanding and acknowledges that this is something that is important to me and I am not willing to sacrifice. We have made the commitment to each other to stay together while we persue our individual careers because we want to be happy.

If your girlfriend really loves you she will support you in your decision. Maybe she shouldn't leave her job right away and you could spend some time apart while she looks for a job where you get posted. There is no reason she has to up and leave everything immediately just because you are posted elsewhere. I agree with the previous post that you will find a way to make it work if it's supposed to work.

 

[Gunner98]

If you take the offer, she will not move right away. You will have lots of training over the first year or two.  Until you complete this training she will not be joining you in a permanent residence unless you move yourself.  Since you do not know where you will end up working that will be a little difficult.

There will be lots of time to weigh the following:

1. How deep is your love?
2. Where do you want to live?
3. How long will be your first posting be?
4. Is her teaching degree recognized in other provinces?
5. Are you cut out for the military?

Speaking as someone with more than 25 years in uniform and someone who has lived apart from wife and kids for most of the last 4 years due to work commitments, your sacrifice for your dreams of serving in the military are truly 'unlimited'.

If you never take the first step you will never know the wonders of the journey that awaits you.  If you step aside, others will happily take your place.

There is only one opinions that matters - that is yours - so think carefully, then make decision. If you look back you may regret it but if you look forward the wonderful journey down either path will begin.

 

[NewfieBish]

Hello again. I spoke to the recruiter on Tuesday and declined the offer. I thought it was best since I couldn't be 100% sure at this point it is in fact what I want to do, so better off in the hands of someone who's been waiting for this kind of offer; rather than me get 6 months in and not like it and cost the CF time and money (and myself).

Not that I don't realize how big of an opportunity it could have been for myself, I just can't say at this time that it's the right one that best suits both me and my girl. She's finally beginning to get into her career, so I'd rather wait a and see how things go in the next couple of years. Never know? Maybe she won't even land a permanent job here in NL and she might want to move with me if and when I reapply. At least then we'd have tested the waters more and we'd know for sure it was the best move. Right now is too soon to tell.

Thanks all for the help in the decision, I took it all into consideration. I'm going to stay around the boards and try to keep an ear open towards the CF.

Cheers.

 

[matthew1786]

Not an easy decision. I hope it works out for you.

Cheers.

 

[Deelo]

Very tough decision. I wish you luck in the future.

 

[observor 69]

Don't join.
You are smart enough to do the math and in "your" situation it doesn't add up to enough of a push to join.

When I joined from a small town in NB, many many years ago, I had no job, no trade, no opportunity and no clue.
Oh and I was 19 and single.  You?