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'Paeta was totally fearless'
Brock Harrison
Local News - Thursday, August 03, 2006 @ 07:00
Shirlee and Gerry Hess had no idea how much of a thrill-seeker their teenage son had become until the day the morning paper landed on the porch of their Sudbury home.
"On the front page of the Sudbury Star, we saw a picture of our son doing a handstand on his skateboard, going down the steepest slope at the university without a helmet or any pads on," says Shirlee Hess, gently laughing as she recalls the memory.
"We knew of his total enthusiasm about it. We didn't know how far it had taken him."
Shirlee Hess now equates that image of Paeta Hess-von Kruedener with how he approached his entire 43 years on Earth: full-tilt and adventure-hungry.
"Paeta was totally fearless," she told The Whig-Standard this week. "From the time he was a child, he didn't know fear."
Hess von-Kruedener - "Wolf," to his buddies - a 43-year-old brother, son, husband and father, was killed last week when an Israeli bomb hit the United Nations' outpost at which he was stationed near the Israel-Lebanon border. The Kingston officer was one of four unarmed international observers of the ceasefire between Israel and Lebanon. Maj. Hess von-Kruedener's remains will be brought back to Canada tomorrow.
His mother heard from him regularly until the end.
"He always kept in touch. He called his daughter [Kirsten], he called [wife] Cynthia and he called me," Shirlee Hess said. "Or he'd e-mail us. He always let us know he was doing well."
Born in London, Ont., Paeta Hess-von Kruedener was an energetic child. His curly red locks and freckle-dotted face illuminate a family photo album Shirlee Hess shared with The Whig-Standard.
In the pages of the album, father Gerry's camera shutter captures, with remarkable poignancy, the exuberance of Paeta's childhood. Whether wrestling his dog Bozo, jump-kicking the air in his white karate uniform, or just posing for the camera, Paeta's face shows nothing but joy.
"He was very adventuresome and always a gregarious person," Shirlee said. "He was involved in life. He did everything he could."
As a child, Paeta and his sister, Tonya, put on theatrical performances for anyone who would watch - usually mom and dad - wrapped up in authentic stage costumes obtained by Gerry, who did work for a theatre company in Sudbury.
Paeta was hyperactive. But Shirlee circumvented her son's inborn restlessness by reading him novels by American writer Jack London. London was one of the most romantic figures of his time whose own adventures mirrored how little Paeta would go on to lead his own life. London was a swimmer and sailor and did two tours of duty in South Pacific war zones. His prose often held the curious Paeta spellbound, Shirlee recalls.
He loved animals, but what Shirlee remembers most is how much animals loved him. On family vacations, even during walks home from school, stray and wandering dogs would follow Paeta.
The family photo album is littered with animal snapshots as Paeta cared for dogs and cats right up to his death. Two black-and-white border collies will forever wait their owner's return.
Shirlee says her son even adopted two mongrel dogs at his outpost in Lebanon.
"They were stray and malnourished and Paeta cared for them," she said. "I believe they were inside when that bomb hit. Paeta wouldn't have let them be out there."
By 13, Paeta had achieved a brown belt in karate, one level below black, the highest. His instructors cautioned against continuing his martial arts ascension too rapidly at such a young age.
He was resourceful. In their Sudbury neighbourhood, Paeta mowed lawns, shovelled snow and delivered newspapers to scrape together enough spending money to feed his growing interest in all things adventurous.
He put that money to use on projects such as building what his mother says was Sudbury's very first skateboard park.
The young man also skied, swam and sailed. A gifted athlete and natural leader, Paeta played hockey, basketball and baseball.
When he was a minor hockey player, the Ontario Hockey League's Sudbury Wolves courted and coveted strapping young Paeta. Shirlee and Gerry put their feet down, however.
"It was so violent, so his father and I decided against it," Shirlee said. "Needless to say, that wasn't a happy scene."
At 18, after nine months enrolled with Prime Minister Pierre Elliot Trudeau's new Katimavik community-building program, Paeta left the lakes, forests and piles of friends he had come to love in Sudbury and headed west. Destination: The Alberta tar sands, where jobs and money flowed as freely as the black gold being pumped out.
He went to "make his fortune," Shirlee recalls, but was turned away at every oil company door. Paeta was too young.
Rejected, but thirsting for adventure, Paeta moved to Winnipeg, where he worked at odd jobs. There, an older male friend got him interested in the military.
Around this time, Paeta Hess's snappy three-syllable name also took on a strong hint of German-Russian nobility.
Paeta's grandmother - his "Omi," as he called her - was the matriarch of the von Kruedeners, whose bloodline can be traced back to the fighting forces of Catherine The Great. None of her five sons, including Paeta's father, Gerry, had wanted to assume her clunky maiden name, opting instead for the crisp and clean "Hess."
But at the request of his Omi, Paeta obliged, happily hyphenating his surname. The gruff-sounding moniker may have led to Paeta being dubbed "Wolf" by his friends. Shirlee still isn't quite sure why.
"We're still hashing that one out," she said.
After joining the military, Paeta accepted postings in Edmonton, Winnipeg and Quebec, where his only child, daughter Kirsten, was born to Paeta and his first wife. Kirsten now lives in Burlington.
He met his second wife, Cynthia, through a support group for single parents. Cynthia had a son, Jonah Rosson, from a previous marriage.
Shirlee said Paeta cared for Rosson as if he were his own blood and taught him valuable life skills he never had before they met.
"Paeta was his father in every way except biological," Shirlee said. Paeta and Cynthia married in 1997 and spent time posted at CFB Edmonton, where he was a member of Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry, before he was posted to Kingston in 2001.
He became an instructor at the base's Peace Support Training Centre. Eventually, he was its top instructor, said a former colleague.
"I've been getting e-mails over my Blackberry from soldiers who remember him as their instructor," said Maj. Lindsay Reinelt, who lived with Paeta in a two-bedroom apartment in the city of Kinshasa in the Congo when the two of them served there.
"His influence and his impact was so significant that he is the only one they remembered from their training."
Adds Reinelt: "You'd think that it would be impossible to give everything you've got to everything you did. But Wolf did."
As a Canadian peacekeeper, Paeta toured Bosnia, Zaire and Congo, never failing to keep his family updated. While in Lebanon, he sent Cynthia e-mails describing the intensity of Israel's air strikes in the days leading up to his death.
"He always told us he loved us," Shirlee said.
The last fond memory Shirlee will keep of her son happened May 25.
It was her husband's birthday and Paeta couldn't call home because he was in Lebanon. Or so Gerry thought.
In fact, Paeta had taken a break from the mission to come back to Canada and visit family for what would prove the last time.
"Gerry said that was the most joyful present he could have been given," Shirlee said. "To hear that Paeta was in Canada and could call and wish him a happy birthday."
Over the past few days, Shirlee has read scores of accolades for her son from his military colleagues.
She believes them all. Paeta was a soldier held in the highest esteem by everyone with whom he worked.
But it's the boy who did backflips into swimming pools, the teenager who built his own skateboards and the man who loved his daughter and family above all else whom Shirlee will remember most.
She says Paeta was never afraid to speak to his family even about the unspeakable. Now that the unspeakable has happened, it is Shirlee Hess who is speaking out.
"There's just so much to say about Paeta."
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City to honour peacekeepers
The city has declared next Wednesday Peacekeepers Day in Kingston, coinciding with the greatest single loss of Canadian lives on a peacekeeping mission.
On Aug. 9, 1974, nine Canadians died when their transport plane was shot down by Syria. The contingent carried supplies as part of the United Nations Emergency Force in Egypt and Israel.