Married with 2 kids! What's it like?

[Tamchy]

Hello I am 37 stuck in a steel factory with a bunch of people who just do not know the word teamwork and backstab steady! I want to get out and start a new career with meaning,friendship and teamwork.

My question is after the 13 weeks BMQ training what is life like for a married man with kids? my wife has the impression that I will be sent to Esquimalt after the 13 weeks and we will not see eachother for a long period of time.

I am trying to convince her different and she is a bit scared of moving to a strange place far from family and being left alone.

So I need some experienced sailors to give me the truthful facts of what it is like?

Thank you for your time.

 

[Occam]

Have you taken a look at the recruiting website, or done a search on this forum?  There's lots of good info here.

QL3 NET (Radar) is done in Halifax.  Only after QL3 training will you be headed to a ship in Halifax or Esquimalt.

While on course, expect to be doing a lot of studying in the evenings - so your family will have to cooperate with that.  After QL3 training, and posted to a ship, you typically work during the day in home port, and the rest of your time is yours to do as you please.  Unless things have changed recently, expect to stand duty watches every 13-16 days, which will require you to stay aboard the ship for a 24-hour period.  While at sea, you stand a watch rotation.  You can occasionally expect to do a deployment of 6 months, although most trips are shorter.

 

[NavyShooter]

After 16 years in the Navy, I've got friends that I'll keep for life, and a job that I love.  (Most days!  LOL)

I have a wife and 3 kids, there's no mistake that there are tough times, especially when you're gone for a few months.  I'm currently at the school as an instructor.  I've done almost 12 of those years at sea. 

The best thing to do is instead of asking on the internet is to find someone close by and sitting down for a coffee with them to find out for real.

Where are you at?

I'm sure there's someone close-by that'd be able to buy you a coffee and tell you and your wife a few stories.

NS

 

[CountDC]

Life for a married man is hectic - you have to balance work with family needs the same as now. The trade you go will determine how much time you spend away from home. Moving can be looked at in two ways - like your wife does or like my family does - my wife and kids (4) view it as a great adventure and are already bugging me for another move.  They are mad at me that we are not posted this year.

I was 38 with 2 kids when I made the jump to the regular force and for the most part have not regreted it - mind you I have been lucky enough not to be gone from home for any period longer than 8 weeks.

How about make a deal with her - give it 5 years and if she does not want to stay with the military then you will release?

 

[emmsmama]

I know this is an older thread, but I'm married with 2 children and dh is considering a Naval tech position with the CF so this thread is highly similar to our current situation.  He would be at RCC in Toronto, ON area for 2 yrs., then BMQ for 13 wks., then BOQT for 5 wks. (not sure where this is), then off to Halifax for 64 wks. of training and then OTJ training for another 15-18 mths.  So, my biggest question is, if he's training for 64 wks.+ in Halifax is it likely they will pay for our house-sale and moving costs?  We are currently in Ontario and if dh went this route then while he is at RCC we'd drive to spend 3-4 days with him every 2 weeks.  Then while at BMQ and BOQT I know we wouldn't see him.  The big clincher is the 64 wk. training in Halifax.  I can't see the CF expecting you to not see your family for 2 yrs.  If they pay for your house sale and moving when in extended training in Halifax then it's not as big of a deal, but if they don't then dh and I have to consider that huge expense of getting us out there in our decision-making process.

The other route he is considering is LCIS direct which would have him eventually doing 62 weeks of training in Kingston after BMQ and SQ, so again, do they typically pay for your house sale costs and move if the training period is a year +?

We are considering him joining the CF for many reasons, including a career change (he was recently laid off from a job he's been at for 14+ years and so this is an opportunity for him to take a different career path in life), job stability, med benefits, but also to get us into a better financial position since he'd likely only be able to get a minimum wage job around here, so although money isn't the only factor to consider, it does have to be considered and if the military isn't going to pay for the move it might set us back quite a bit when we sell our house and I don't want him joining the CF if we aren't going to be able to see each other at all for 2 yrs. if he is in BMQ and then BOQT and then 62 mths of training in Halifax.

 

[NavyShooter]

Hi emmsmama,

Welcome aboard!

I'm one of the instructors who'd be teaching him in Halifax (if he was there right now at least)

I'm not sure what the CF's policy would be in this situation.  I am aware that we have people who have joined with families, did a couple of years of training in St John's (college program) then came to Halifax for their equipment phase, and their family came with them. 

Who paid, I don't know.  The best thing to do is ask the recruiter up front, and get the answer in writing, and get them to show you the supporting admin instruction/order that would authorize it. 

If it's a deal maker or breaker, make sure that they're aware of that at the RC.

Part of the joys of the Navy is that once you've got a Home Port Division (East or West) you usually stay put.  I've been in Halifax for 17 years now.

NS

 

[NavyShooter]

Section 209.82 of the Compensation and Benefits Instructions might be of use, but check with the recruiter.

NS