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Merged Quotes and Sayings Thread; some useful, some junk

“We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction.” Douglas MacArthur 
 
On soldiering as a Lineman....

My generation never was the best and brightest. We are however, creative and courageous.

:camo:
 
While loading the buses in battalion lines to make the drive to Trenton for our tour, the CO walked around to see us all off and give us some last-minute motivation.

Upon seeing the Intelligence Officer was on our bus, he said "[Name], when we get over there, make sure you tell me where all those Taliban are".

The entire bus roared into gallows-humour laughter with the Int O's response: "Don't worry Sir, they'll find us".
 
Quote from the movie Heartbreak Ridge..
GSgt. Highway: You look like the poster child for a prophylactic company.

Quote from M/cpl. in CFRS Cornwallis: Lad you are nothing but whale s***, and there is nothing else on this planet as low as whale s***.  :D
 
x512er said:
Quote from M/cpl. in CFRS Cornwallis: Lad you are nothing but whale s***, and there is nothing else on this planet as low as whale s***.  :D

What if it floats?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbnyH8DudLk&feature=related
 
mariomike said:
What if it floats?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbnyH8DudLk&feature=related

Thanks MM. I guess drill instructors don't know "everything" afterall. Who knew? ::)

p.s. quite uplifting to find out your not as low as previously told. ;)
 
x512er said:
Thanks MM. I guess drill instructors don't know "everything" afterall. Who knew? ::)

They do! Did you ever hear the story of the sand flea?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZtNnIzEQLc
"What sex was that sand flea?”
“Female, Sir!”
(After close examination), “Nope, wrong one!”
http://www.tcm.com/tcmdb/title.jsp?stid=72075&category=Notes
 
Haven't seen the movie.
Thought of another quote overheard in drill hall: "You move like a pregnant,paraplegic slug in heat."
 
"You look like your face caught on fire and got put out with a wet chain".

Heard that one over three years ago and I still laugh whenever i think of it  :blotto:
 
When asked how you can tell if an RPG is unloaded and safe:

"Well you can usually tell if it's loaded because there's a big f**king rocket sticking out of it"
-WO Frightening

Riding in a pick-up to go locate some lost kit, our Sgt. turns on some 90s dance music.
"I guess you kids haven't even heard this stuff before. Came out in 1990. How old were you in 1990 Sheppard?" "1 year old Sgt" "Oh my god my back hurts."

First day of course, Sgt is telling us how everything works, has slipped a few f bombs already, and realizes it, asks if anybody minds that he's swearing because he's not supposed to. "If you do just come talk to me about it after and we can hug, hold hands, sing koom-bye-yah and I'll $#!+ you a flower."

 
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. 

“Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.”
 
Can't be bothered to look up the exact quotes tonight.
But, Lady Astor also made the D-Day Dodgers crack. They sang it to "Lili Marlene":
"Now Lady Astor, get a load of this.
Don't stand up on a platform and talk a load of piss.
You're the nation's sweetheart, the nation's pride
We think your mouth's too bloody wide.
We are the D-Day Dodgers, in Sunny Italy."

Also she, supposedly, told Sir Winston he was drunk. To which he replied something like, "Yes, I am. But, in the morning I will be sober, but you will still be ugly."
Even if he was loaded to the gills, he still did a good job during the war.
I hope I got that right?!
 
"Sweet Jesus Troop... If Ignorance is bliss you must be the happiest man on earth"
 
a good one from my football coach, to a reciever who fumbled an easy catch
"jesus christ in a hand basket, did you miss the operation date for your double-hand transplant?"
 
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