Mixed Formal Dinner protocol?

[Eye In The Sky]

The Sqn dinners I've been to, you can *go* but people have to request permission from the PMC and then they are usually asked to do something.  It was pretty funny at the last one to see the 4 techs who left together (all male), holding hands and skipping merrily along on their way to/from the restroom.  ;D

 

[Pusser]

I've always wondered why this "tradition" lasted as long as it did.  What possible benefit would it be to not allow people who have been drinking for a few hours at that point to go use the facilities during a dinner?  It's not like everyone would be gone the entire time. 

???

The reason is more rooted in etiquette than tradition and it is by no means unique to military circles.  It is generally considered rude to get up during dinner as it can be disruptive to the other diners.  However, this fails to take into account the length of many mess dinners, especially if a guest speaker turns out to be particularly verbose.

For that matter, why do we insist on guest speakers all the time?  If these dinners are about getting together and having a good time, why do we need a talking head?

I'm not a fan of free range seating.  One of the ideas is for people to mix and mingle and meet new people.  A seating plan allows (forces) people to meet and talk to others.  Without a seating plan, cliques tend to sit together to the exclusion of others.  This is not very welcoming to the new folks.  I've been very uncomfortable at a few weddings where I didn't know anyone and basically had to "intrude" on a group in order to get a seat.  If you only want to sit with people you already know, host a dinner at your house.  I am reminded of a dinner at a mess in the UK where the seating plan had all the ladies shifting two seats to the right at every course (while the gentlemen remained at the same seat throughout).  The idea being to have different people to chat with throughout the evening.  I thought it was a great idea, but I was surprised at the attitude of some of my Canadian colleagues who were appalled ("If I'm going to spend all this money on a night out, I want to spend it with my wife!").  My thoughts were that I'll be coming with my wife, I'll be going home with my wife and I live with my wife.  I think I can handle talking to someone else for dessert!  The best part of this scenario was that we all got to know each other's spouses much better and it really brought the whole group together.