• Thanks for stopping by. Logging in to a registered account will remove all generic ads. Please reach out with any questions or concerns.

The five worst army men of all time

daftandbarmy

Army.ca Dinosaur
Reaction score
27,267
Points
1,160
The five worst army men of all time

My wife brought the boys back from the playground the other day, and told me that our 5-year-old son had played with another kid who brought some plastic green army men. Excited that the family moratorium on guns had apparently been lifted, I went down to the basement and opened up the small black briefcase that contains all of my most awesome toys.


My son already has access to my toy trucks and Slinkys and Rubik's Cubes and other more boring toys from my childhood. The black box is filled with less politically correct toys, including army men, a team of die-cast metal bank robbers, some plastic Indians Native Americans and a couple of cap guns. (My awesome toys also included some rolling papers and a pipe from my pre-college pot smoking days, although those will never be passed on. While I plan to teach both my sons how to drive a stick shift and shoot a free throw with proper mechanics, they'll have to figure out on their own how to roll a tight joint.)


Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/parenting/detail?entry_id=62128#ixzz0mbStKNh6

 
None of the packages we ever got had the dead guys.....I was cheated and didn't know it!!!
 
Funny thing about the German toys marching with weapons on shoulders - we seem to see a lot of that in old war films too.  No wonder they always lost!
 
And here I thought this was going to be a list of names...
 
David, by now you should have learned not to post your personal list, especially as they all are above you in the Chain of Command.

 
dapaterson said:
And here I thought this was going to be a list of names...

That is tempting, but hard to be factual rather than just personal opinion...
 
Sorry wrong post.  First time i heard about these "Army Men" toys though  i have some when i was small. 
 
Greymatters said:
That is tempting, but hard to be factual rather than just personal opinion...

Ah, come on... be daring.  I'll nominate a name.  Publius Quinctilius Varus, who lost three Roman Legions at the battle of the Teutoburg Forest in Germany.  The loss of which caused Augustus Caesar to cry out in dispair, "Quinctilius Varus, give me back my Legions!"
 
GAP said:
None of the packages we ever got had the dead guys.....I was cheated and didn't know it!!!

We didn't think of that item as "the dead guy" but "the wounded guy" and (IIRC) came with a couple of stretcher bearers (with litter) or a medic (posed to carry him).  They of course were usually battle ineffectives and generally the responsibilty of any girls who wanted to play.

Can't remember if the Germans, in grey, came with any casualty figures except for those that we inflicted with knives, matches or firecrackers.

And an interesting site for more info about army men http://www.thortrains.net/armymen/
 
Greymatters said:
That is tempting, but hard to be factual rather than just personal opinion...

What was the name of Pauly Shore's character in "In The Army Now?" That would be a good place to start.
 
Worst:  bayonet guy, follow-me dude, and the mine detector
Best:  guy firing from the prone, guy in the kneeling position, and the standing position; shooters all.
 
Spanky said:
Worst:  bayonet guy, follow-me dude, and the mine detector
Best:  guy firing from the prone, guy in the kneeling position, and the standing position; shooters all.

Personally, I liked the 'grenade' guy, complete with hash maked pineapple like object in right hand. I was less impressed with the shiny finish, which didn't hold paint. This forced me into years of wasted time and part time job proceeds investment in Tamiya 1:35 scale products which, ironically, were made by 'the enemy'. Doh...
 
VIChris said:
What was the name of Pauly Shore's character in "In The Army Now?" That would be a good place to start.

If we are covering mythical or fictional characters, that would definately be a subject that can be debated.  I nominate Harry Paget Flashman from the Flashman series; Sergeant Obadiah Hakeswill from the Sharpe series; General Meclhett from the Blackadder series; and Captain Sawyer from the Hornblower series.

 
 
Greymatters said:
If we are covering mythical or fictional characters, that would definately be a subject that can be debated.  I nominate Harry Paget Flashman from the Flashman series; Sergeant Obadiah Hakeswill from the Sharpe series; General Meclhett from the Blackadder series; and Captain Sawyer from the Hornblower series.
And from the same author as the Flashman series....
mcauslan.jpg

"Ah'm nae durty...."
 
My toy chest from the 60s includes Johnny Seven O.M.A. (One Man Army), yes I two barely functioning weapons http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Seven_OMA, Johnny West and friends/enemies, G.I. Joe and friends/enemies.
 
Back
Top