For years, divorce has been seen as the end of a relationship, but increasingly more and more people are seeing it as the beginning of a new life. The new outlook on divorce is giving rise to a trend that's spreading from country to country, continent to continent. Divorce parties have become all the rage in the U.S. and
the U.K., and now they're taking off here in Canada.
Maria Caldarozzi, an event planner in Halifax, says she has already planned several divorce parties this year. "It's a celebration of independence," she says. "It's a
celebration of your education -- of where you were -- and now a whole new road you're going down. You just learn to share it with your friends and family. You just
want to have a great time and start life over again."
Caldarozzi says that new start in life means getting out and having a good time with friends. "Before it was stay in your house and that's it and now people want
to share it with friends and family because divorce doesn't have to be a bad thing," she says.
Maritime divorce lawyer Terry Shepperd says attitudes are shifting around how people deal with divorce because marriages aren't lasting as long as they used to.
He says some young people have an easier time letting go of their past than their older counterparts. "Generally, the younger the client, they're happy it's done and
over with," he says. "If they're older they tend to be more upset, tearful that their relationship has broken down."
For those in the mood to celebrate their newfound freedom, there's no shortage of ideas on how to throw the perfect divorce party. There are party planning books
that outline suggestions about selecting themes, invitations, and entertainment ideas. Recently divorced people can even purchase plates and napkins with slogans
to let everyone know they're "single again." There's even a website with suggestions on what to do with wedding rings, once they're not needed.
"Give a dead marriage its proper, final resting place," says a selling point on weddingringcoffin.com. "The Wedding Ring Coffin is the perfect gift for yourself or
a loved one for bringing closure after a divorce." It even offers slogans people can put on their box-sized final resting places for their rings, from the obvious "R.I.P."
to the edgier "Six feet isn't deep enough." For those wanting a little more bang for their buck, a U.K. business even offers a divorce fireworks display.
But one clinical counsellor says people contemplating a formal celebration of the end of their marriage should do so in a healthy manner. "Any kind of ritual is really
helpful in most situations for different life transitions," Vancouver's Dianne Gilmour told CTV.ca. But she added that the intentions behind such rituals are important.
She says that if the intention is to denigrate the ex-husband or ex-wife, "that's really unhelpful and unhealthy. It would indicate to me that person has an awful lot
of work to do to get through the pain ... The opposite of love is not hate." Gilmour says she's troubled that some people would symbolize the end of their marriage
by purchasing items such as ring coffins. "The coffin and those sorts of things are really dark. If they are going to use that coffin for their ring, will that be a shrine
to their pain?" she wonders.
As for Caldarozzi, she's sure she won't soon run out of clients. In fact, she'll even hold a divorce party for herself. She's in the process of getting a divorce,
and she already knows the theme of her marriage's goodbye party. "A nice big barbeque bash," she says.
