Reuters - January 16 2007
WASHINGTON - NATO military forces the world over woke up to a silent world today - well, silent from the world of military communications.
There was a staggering 98% absentee rate for signals corps members in all NATO nations due to the release of a new video game sweeping their ranks. A new expansion to the popular "World of Warcraft" was apparently to blame, due to the midnight release date that posession of the game required.
Calls to Signal Corps accross Canada went unanswered today as the entire corps remained home to partake in the online mayhem, with one Commanding Officer's voicemail reading "I, Col. (name witheld) also known as Grand Dragon Eragon of the Mordor Reich, am sick today, you may find me in the shade of the Jiminias tree, liquid clan rules!! Leave a message after the beep"
A noticeably exhausted signal corps spokesman was located at his home in his mother's basement and on condition of anonymity stated "well, there is national security, and priorities - something's gotta break."
Stephen Staples, a seasoned and knowledgeable military commentator from the Polaris group stated that such an absentee rate had not been seen since the release of the final Star Wars installments, and that this communications blackout was undoubtedly a result of Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper's withdrawal from the Kyoto Accord, and opposition to gay marriage.
Reuters contracted reporters were able to locate a single signals corps member at work in Kingston today, who after being informed of the outage screamed "that was today?" and ran out of the building frantically typing on his blackberry.
