What were they thinking?.....Dumb criminals.......add your dumb criminal story

[cupper]

BOAZ, Ala. (AP) — Police in Boaz say a man who was injured in a car crash has been arrested for stealing an ambulance after being taken to the hospital.

WAFF-TV (http://bit.ly/Yc9x4N ) reported Monday that 24-year-old Matthew Todd, of Boaz, was intoxicated during a crash in Sardis Friday and was hospitalized afterward.

Authorities say Todd was waiting for a room and eventually took off in an ambulance. Police found the ambulance abandoned in Boaz the next morning and say Todd tried stealing a horse but did not know how to properly saddle it. When that failed, police say Todd stole a car, returned to the hospital for treatment and was arrested.

Police say Todd is charged with two counts of auto theft and one count of burglary. He's being held on $7,500 bond.

 

[BeyondTheNow]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/05/alan-golden_n_1321093.html?utm_hp_ref=stupid-criminals


Alan Golden, 'Dine And Dash' Suspect, Arrested During Police Fundraiser
Huffington Post  David Lohr
First Posted: 03/ 5/2012 12:22 pm Updated: 03/ 5/2012 12:22 pm


Police in New Mexico recently arrested a man for allegedly attempting to pull a dine-and-dash at a restaurant that was hosting a police fundraiser.

According to the Dona Ana County Sheriff's Office, the incident happened on March 1, at the Applebee's restaurant in Las Cruces.

Alan Golden, 22, ate dinner at the restaurant with two women and left without paying his entire bill –- leaving a $30 balance, police said.

Golden might have got away with the alleged act, had he not picked a restaurant that was holding a "Tip-A-Cop" fundraiser. During the event, the wait staff was replaced by local police officers who served patrons their dinners in an effort to raise money for the New Mexico Special Olympics.

Authorities arrested Golden and charged him with obtaining services less than $100. He was booked into the Dona Ana County Detention Center on a $250 surety bond.

While hunger and stupidity might make for a dangerous combination, the sheriff's office was pleased to announce that the annual fundraiser event raised more than $3,000.

 

[pretentious]

Something I witnessed myself. I'm not so sure it's so much a stupid criminal, rather it was criminally stupid.

So I'm on the bus at 0600 to get to work, we turn a corner and feel a small bump.... the bus driver pulls over right away and starts freaking out... "HOW THE HELL DO YOU RUN INTO A BUS!!! IT'S A GIANT WHITE BOX?!?!?!"
So we passengers pile off the bus, to see a small hatchback stuck to the back of the bus. The person driving the car got out  - with a curling iron in one hand,  cell phone in the other hand and still talking!! When the police showed up, she got mad at them and lied about the curling iron/cell phone thing. The police were suitably amused, and awarded her a free ride to jail and a comlimentary impound for her vehicle, which I found out later from the cops was a 5 speed. And she actually tried to fight it in court, saying all the passengers on the bus were lying and conspiring to screw her over.... I still chuckle out loud thinking about it....

I had a similar encounter, a woman cut off an accelerating bus to turn right. The woman got out of her car yelling at the bus driver for hitting her, and then proceeded to light a cigarette on the bus while still arguing. After her initial outrage she did a 180 degree emotional turn; she apologized and stated, "I thought the bus was stopped,"  ??? meanwhile we were accelerating from 25-30kmph.

While I was not paying attention I felt the breaks applied hastily and then the driver stopped the breaks and then we struck her vehicle ~1 second later. (Lunged forward, thrown backwards, then thrown forwards again) - I've seen this bus driver many times and he always seems grumpy. While the woman is at fault I cannot help but think he struck her on purpose. I washed my hands though and jumped on the next bus.

 

[cupper]

The mug shot is worth the click. :rofl:

Man arrested for assaulting roommate who drew penis on his face

http://www.insidenova.com/news/crime_police/man-arrested-for-assaulting-roommate-who-drew-penis-on-his/article_5d04d1fe-96e9-11e2-89b8-001a4bcf887a.html

An Arlington man who woke up with a penis drawn on his face in permanent marker is accused of assaulting his roommate, leading to “extensive injuries” to the victim’s face, police said.

James Denham Watson woke up around 5:30 a.m. Saturday in the 3100 block of North 17th Street to find the male genitalia on his cheek, leading to the assault, police said.

The roommate was treated for his injuries at Virginia Hospital Center.

Officers responded to the hospital around 7 a.m., when the roommate decided to press charges.

Watson, 31, was charged with malicious wounding and held without bond, police said.

 

[PMedMoe]

Maybe not so dumb, but how Canadian! 

Sex shop robbery suspects arrested at Timmies

;D

 

[cupper]

Couldn't they have provided a better description of the stolen items?

 

[PMedMoe]

Couldn't they have provided a better description of the stolen items?

You're really that curious?   

 

[PMedMoe]

Mountaineer player booted from team after robbing house while wearing WVU issue gear

Korey Harris, a sophomore defensive lineman, is no longer with the West Virginia football team following an arrest for first-degree armed robbery.

Harris was arrested last Friday for a July 12 home invasion, where Harris and two others entered a Morgantown home and held the residents at gun point while burglarizing the house. One tiny flaw in Harris' plan: He was wearing his WVU-issued sweatpants with a #96 - his uniform number, as you can see above - on them. The three men got away with cash and electronics.

More at link

Yep, just one teensy flaw....  :facepalm:

 

[CougarKing]

Sure, he didn't know he wouldn't be called out for doing something as despicable as this...
:

link

New York man, 22, 'tries to sell girlfriend's baby online' because partner 'wasn't paying him enough attention'

Paul Marquez has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child and harassment after allegedly offered his partner's child on Craigslist for $100 (£65)

(...)

 

[garb811]

...and stop by Macs and pick up a bag of Doritos on the way please...

Pot plea on Twitter costs Mr. Lube worker his job

...
The young man, posting under the user name Sunith Baheerathan, was apparently at work on Tuesday when he wrote, "Any dealers in Vaughan wanna make a 20sac chop? Come to Keele/Langstaff Mr. Lube, need a spliff or two to help me last this open to close."

The York Regional Police noticed the post — which has since been removed — and replied: "Awesome! Can we come too?"
...

If it is any consolation to the poor guy, I'm sure his former employer's reaction would have been exactly the same if he had asked for someone to drop him off a sixer of beer.

 

[PMedMoe]

Loose baggy pants foil Florida church robbery suspect's getaway

A robber who was running away with his hands full of loot from a Florida church was caught when his baggy pants started slipping off, a sheriff's spokeswoman said.

She said the man, Anthony Jason Garcia, 31, had been praying in the sanctuary of a large Catholic Church near Walt Disney World on Wednesday when he arose, went into the gift shop, grabbed the cash drawer and ran toward the courtyard with church maintenance director Joe Larkin in pursuit.

As they ran, Garcia's baggy pants began to fall down, said Orange County Sheriff's spokeswoman Jane Watrel.

"So here Garcia is, both hands holding the cash drawer and trying to pull up his pants. So he (Larkin) sees an opening," Watrel said. "He plunges for him and pulls his pants down further which trips up the guy."

More at link

:rofl:

That'll teach all you "pants on the ground" gangsta wannabes.  :nod:

 

[PMedMoe]

Rap lyrics crack cold case:  Local rapper charged in 2007 double homicide

Newport News Police say a local rapper's song helped link him to a cold case involving a double homicide in 2007.

On May 10, 2007, officers were dispatched to the 23rd Street and Orcutt Avenue area for reports of shots fired. While en route, the call was upgraded to a shooting after a victim was found lying on a front porch in the 2300 block of Orcutt Avenue.

That victim, identified as Brian Dean, suffered a gunshot wound to the head. Dean was unconscious but breathing and was taken to a local hospital. He was later taken off life support.

A second victim, identified as Christopher Horton, was found suffering from a gunshot wound to the torso behind the home. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

The case eventually went cold.

"The pain never goes away," said Horton's sister Tai Horton. "It's hard. You try not to think about it and let time heal it."

Four years later, the case was assigned to another detective with the Newport News Police Department. According to court documents obtained by WAVY.com , three men were identified as possible suspects.

The detective said witnesses told police Horton and one of the suspects, Antwain Steward, fought prior to the homicides. Two other witnesses came forward and told the detective a rap song had been produced by Steward, also known as "Twain Gotti," referencing the slayings.

That track titled "Ride Out" was found on the internet and contains words investigators believe are about the killings, the detective said.

The song was posted to MySpace in March of 2009.

According to court documents , Steward used various electronic devices to produce several rap songs, which have been posted around the internet and social media. Detectives say Steward raps about and does interviews were he references and brags about crimes and feuds with gangs.

"Who puts something in a song that they did like that," Horton asked? "It's crazy. That's what I think. Why would he do that?"

More at link

IMO, I think all rappers should be in jail for the crime of creating making shitty music.

 

[211RadOp]

From the Ottawa Sun

Drunk man calls 911 for pop, snacks: Cops

A Saskatchewan man barricaded himself in his home with a gun when his calls to 911 demanding booze, smokes and snacks were ignored, police say.

At around 3 a.m. Thursday, a North Battleford man called 911 saying he wanted cops to bring him "a pop and some smokes," RCMP said in a statement.

When that didn't work, he allegedly called again, this time demanding police bring him "another mickey of vodka."

When his request was denied a second time, the man told the 911 operator he had a gun and would hurt himself or others, police said.

When officers arrived, he refused orders to exit his home, but "then fell asleep when members did not bring him the snacks he wanted," police said.

Cops entered the home, arrested the man and seized a .22-calibre rifle and ammunition.

The man, 41, is charged with careless use of a firearm, unsafe storage of a firearm, unauthorized possession of a firearm and possession of a weapon for a dangerous purpose.

He's not due to appear in court until Friday morning "due to a high level of intoxication at the time of arrest," police said.

http://www.ottawasun.com/2013/12/05/drunk-man-calls-911-for-pop-snacks-cops

 

[PMedMoe]

Florida man faces 142 felony counts after cop sees his Instagram page

The Daily Buzz is quickly becoming a "what not to do" guide to selfie etiquette.

1. Don't take a self-portrait in front of a tragedy. You will make the front page of the paper.

2. Don't pose for a smartphone with your fellow world leaders at a memorial service. You'll end up doing damage control.

3. And don't take selfies that include stolen firearms. You will go to jail.

A south Florida man is learning that third lesson the hard way. Depree Johnson, 19, has been charged with 142 felony counts after his Instagram page got the attention of a local sheriff.

Johnson, who already had a rap sheet that included grand theft, burglary, and felony possession of a firearm, posted incriminating photos of himself flaunting cash, jewelry, drugs and weapons on the site.

The teen earned himself a search warrant.

More at link

:not-again:

 

[211RadOp]

Wasn't sure if this should go here or funniest things, but as he has been charged and sentanced:

http://www.ottawasun.com/2013/12/19/man-caught-masturbating-while-texting-and-driving

Man caught masturbating while texting and driving

A British man caught masturbating while driving his car naked during a steamy text-messaging session has been fined and ordered to do community service.

Another driver spotted Neal Marshall, 49, touching himself on Aug. 8 and called police with Marshall's licence plate, the Chester Chronicle reported. When police contacted Marshall, he told police he had "no comment."

His lawyer Adrian Evans said the case is "bizarre" but Marshall simply got "carried away" while messaging another person. Evans said Marshall never intended for anyone to see what he was doing.

"This does not excuse his actions, but it goes a way to explain why he was seen doing it," Evans said.

Marshall, who lives in Cheshire, pleaded guilty Wednesday to a charge of outraging public decency. He was also ordered to do community service in 2008 for the same charge

 

[PMedMoe]

Man caught masturbating while texting and driving

So much for the myth that men can't multitask....  ;D

Marshall, who lives in Cheshire, pleaded guilty Wednesday to a charge of outraging public decency. He was also ordered to do community service in 2008 for the same charge

Wait....this is his second offense for doing this?  ???

 

[Yrys]

Man caught masturbating while texting and driving

1 arm for driving,
1 arm for texting,
1 arm for masturbating...

That's  the first 3 arms man that I ever heard about...

IF anyone could post a picture, I would GREATLY appreciate it !

Thank you

 

[Journeyman]

IF anyone could post a picture, I would GREATLY appreciate it !

Please just PM her; no pics required!!  :-\

 

[Yrys]

Please just PM her; no pics required!!  :-\

I'M DEEPLY SORRY to have to make a very small correction here,
Journeyman, BUT pictures in the PM WOULD be greatly appreciated !!!

 

[Journeyman]

I'M DEEPLY SORRY to have to make a very small correction here,
Journeyman, BUT pictures in the PM WOULD be greatly appreciated !!!

No correction; we are in agreement.  I wish you luck in acquiring pictures of 3-armed, male masturbators....via PM.....and there's NO need to post them to the site.  :nod: