You May Be a Taliban If

[tomahawk6]

:rofl:
You may be a Taliban if...

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You've ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."

10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

 

[Old Ranger]

Well I see how 1 thru 11 applies,

but 12 might offend the Scotish, the Aussies, Keswickians, the English, the French, Albertains, alot of the Southern States.

Anyone else I didn't just offend? ;D

 

[George Wallace]

13.  You have a Garage Door Opener, but no Garage.

 

[Shamrock]

8.a) You bomb cell phone towers to get the companies to bow to your wishes, and are surprised your phone calls don't get through.

 

[medaid]

14. Lately you're surprised that the VBIEDs are being detected from far away. You can't understand how all of your white, Toyota corollas could fail!

 

[Ex-Dragoon]

Excellent thanks Toma!

 

[Mike Baker]

Oh I love it ;D

 

[Michael OLeary]

14. Lately you're surprised that the VBIEDs are being detected from far away. You can't understand how all of your white, Toyota corollas could fail!

Taliban note to self: Declare Jihad against salesman who suggested saving money on fleet purchase.

 

[Timmy!]

8.a) You bomb cell phone towers to get the companies to bow to your wishes, and are surprised your phone calls don't get through.

With Rogers you"ll have a lot of drop calls.. time to upgrade..

 

[medicineman]

8.a) You bomb cell phone towers to get the companies to bow to your wishes, and are surprised your phone calls don't get through.

Amend to read "...and are surprised when your targets pass you by unscathed."

MM

 

[medicineman]

Who knows, but I'll tell you, in the northwest corner of Kabul is I swear the world's largest Toyota dealership - all the yellow Corrolas, white and black Surfs and pickups you can imagine just covering a couple of acres of land.

MM

 

[Timmy!]

Jingle trucks... I'm mailing one home when I get over there. Kind of like Radar from MASH with the Willy Jeep.  ;D

 

[2 Cdo]

15. You hope and pray that the NDP will form the next government of Canada! ;D

 

[UCModFloppy]

16. You've never had to change the oil in your car
17. Your wife asks "does this bomb vest make me look fat?"
18. your corolla has a bumper sticker "my other car is an ass"
19. you dream of 49 virgins..but cant count to 49.
20. you dream of virgins, but can only picture their ankles and wrists.

 

[Fishbone Jones]

 

[CougarKing]

"It's the signal..."

"Durka, Durka, Durka..."

;D

 

[tomahawk6]

:rofl:

 

[Pte.Butt]

21) You're dynamite in bed! 

edited: wrong number

 

[brihard]

Quick! They're heading south on Bakkalakkadakka street!

 

[Old Ranger]

22) You got suckered out of your cave with simulated Goat in heat noises....Bayyy Baayy Baaayyyy.

Not that I've heard any or anything.