You May Be a Taliban If

[UCModFloppy]

23. Your entire village is moving to Canada just to vote NDP

 

[vonGarvin]

24.  You start work at a Pakistani Call Centre for a suicide prevention line, trolling for more "recruits".

 

[Old Ranger]

25) Your afraid to answer your own cell phone if your not near a convoy.

 

[jmackenzie_15]

26) Your idea of "effective fire" is crouching behind a mudwall while you fire on full auto over the wall in random directions untill your AK magazine is empty
27) You beleive that allah will guide this RPG and destroy the leopard tank youre about to fire at from 12 oclock at 300 meters
28) You're arrested by the ANP with enough pakistani rupees to almost purchase an entire goat ; WOW!
29) All your friends since religious fanatic school were killed by mysterious shells from the sky, and no one can explain where they come from
30) When you go out at night and pray that no "allah shells" land on you, you're being followed by a strange buzzing noise flying around in the sky...
31) You don't think it's abnormal to have at least 3 bullet wounds by the time you're 21

 

[Jammer]

Your family has moved to Helmand...and not told you.

 

[OldSolduer]

You beleive that Western medicine is evil, but are very willing to accept it when wounded

 

[ark]

32) you believe camels make excellent mobile rocket launching platforms

 

[medaid]

32) you believe camels make excellent mobile rocket launching platforms

Oh but they do! Especially if you're looking for a "soft skin" vehicle

 

[Panzer Grenadier]

32) you believe camels make excellent mobile rocket launching platforms

I thought it was donkeys pulling carts!  Oh well, you learn something new everyday.

 

[UCModFloppy]

33) your favorite joke is "how many infidels does it take to light a candle?"
34) your  buddies blew up the local cellphone tower , but you have a garage door opener,  a block of ice, and a pack of AA batteries.

 

[benny88]

26) Your idea of "effective fire" is crouching behind a mudwall while you fire on full auto over the wall in random directions untill your AK magazine is empty

  26) a) Your idea of effective SECTION fire is you and several buddies crouching behind a mudwall while you fire on full auto over the wall in random directions untill your AK magazines are empty

 

[zipperhead_cop]

35)  Your mom looks at pictures in the album of all of your "martyred" older brothers and sighs "Gee, they blow up so fast".

 

[medicineman]

35)  Your mom looks at pictures in the album of all of your "martyred" older brothers and sighs "Gee, they blow up so fast".

:rofl:

MM

 

[NL_engineer]

36) when you look back at your High School Year book, and relies half the class have bowen them selves up  :

 

[George Wallace]

:rofl:
You may be a Taliban if...

1.  You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

2.  You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3.  You have more wives than teeth.

4.  You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5.  You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6.  You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

7.  You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8.  You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9.  You've ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."

10.  You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

11.  You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

12.  You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

13.  You have a Garage Door Opener, but no Garage.

14.  Lately you're surprised that the VBIEDs are being detected from far away. You can't understand how all of your white, Toyota corollas could fail!

15.  You hope and pray that the NDP will form the next government of Canada! ;D

16.  You've never had to change the oil in your car

17.  Your wife asks "does this bomb vest make me look fat?"

18.  Your corolla has a bumper sticker "my other car is an ass"

19.  You dream of 49 virgins..but cant count to 49.

20.  You dream of virgins, but can only picture their ankles and wrists.

21.  You're dynamite in bed! 

22.  You got suckered out of your cave with simulated Goat in heat noises....Bayyy Baayy Baaayyyy.

23.  Your entire village is moving to Canada just to vote NDP

24.  You start work at a Pakistani Call Centre for a suicide prevention line, trolling for more "recruits".

25.  Your afraid to answer your own cell phone if your not near a convoy.

26.  Your idea of "effective fire" is crouching behind a mudwall while you fire on full auto over the wall in random directions untill your AK magazine is empty.

      26. a) Your idea of effective SECTION fire is you and several buddies crouching behind a mudwall while you fire on full auto over the wall in random directions untill your AK magazines are empty.

27. You beleive that allah will guide this RPG and destroy the leopard tank youre about to fire at from 12 oclock at 300 meters.

28. You're arrested by the ANP with enough pakistani rupees to almost purchase an entire goat ; WOW!

29. All your friends since religious fanatic school were killed by mysterious shells from the sky, and no one can explain where they come from.

30. When you go out at night and pray that no "allah shells" land on you, you're being followed by a strange buzzing noise flying around in the sky...

31. You don't think it's abnormal to have at least 3 bullet wounds by the time you're 21.

32.  You believe camels make excellent mobile rocket launching platforms.

33.  Your favorite joke is "how many infidels does it take to light a candle?"

34.  Your  buddies blew up the local cellphone tower , but you have a garage door opener,  a block of ice, and a pack of AA batteries.

35.  Your mom looks at pictures in the album of all of your "martyred" older brothers and sighs "Gee, they blow up so fast".

36.  When you look back at your High School Year book, and realize half the class have blown themselves up  :

37.  When you graduate Suicide Bomber School without doing the Final PC Check.

 

[zipperhead_cop]

Two more for the heap:

 

[UCModFloppy]

38) your car came with A/C, a fuse, and a 3 day 100km warranty.
39) you keep getting outsmarted by the Canadian Forces 

 

[Timmy!]

38) your car came with A/C, a fuse, and a 3 day 100km warranty.

Must be a Ford..

 

[Yrys]

Somebody Has to Be in Control
The effort behind George Clooney’s effortless charm. by Ian Parker

Clooney, in 2005, speaking about suicide bombers: “But, really, who wants seventy virgins? I want eight pros.”

 

[ballz]

Your kid can't read or write but he can take apart an AK47 and put it back together in 2 minutes flat.

something two Afghan's told my parents was pretty common in Afghanistan ... hence them leaving haha