Advice on what I should be tracking, preparing for with preplanned compassionate leave requests appreciated.
This is preparing for something down the road, not an urgent request
BLUF:
What determines whether a block of compassionate leave is counted together with another? Eg. Parents get in car crash, member goes on compassionate while one parent survives for several days before dying. Member returns to duty, then requests compassionate for later wakes when family is able to manage it.
How do I request compassionate leave of 14 days?
I am dealing with parents and a sibling planning for when (hopefully several years from now) my parents die.
I would like some advice with planning a request for compassionate leave and travel assistance, to be referenced and tweaked when the moment comes.
I understand that there is a lot of discretion by the approving authority, but I'd like to have some advice on how to prepare for it, given that I already know the specifics of the complications for it.
What I want:
To go visit family on both sides (assuming both pass simultaneously) in multiple centers, to share stories and hold space with family. This will involve five locations within Canada, away from my posting.
I've got several relatives with severe physical disabilities and injuries such that travel is either very difficult or impossible, so everyone coming to one place isn't possible. Amongst them, blindness, hearing impairments, and techphobia makes virtual attendance ineffective.
Context:
My parents are retired military, pretty organized, still living near dad's last posting with zero family and a handful of friends in the vicinity. They are healthy and in their 70s.
They have their estate organized with a trust, with a contracted executor. Almost all of the physical stuff for after they die is arranged and they clearly do not want a funeral or formal memorial, etc.
I am handling personal directive stuff, medical decisions and so forth. If things get messy with brain damage or something, that's a conversation for another thread. For the most part, if one or both of them are on the way out, I can focus on being their for them and representing their immediate interests, along with my own processing of what's going on.
My sister is raising concerns about funerals and memorials that I strongly oppose. I am not projecting onto my parents, they expressed their preference first, but past experiences have really driven me up the wall.
Tomorrow, I intend to walk her and my parents through how I want to recognize their lives with people I love after my parents die. I want this to be grounded in what is a justified and effectively articulated ask from whomever my CO is at the time.
It seems like an appropriate time for me to prep such a request, as I'm thinking about it and clear-headed, as opposed to dealing with one or more parents' deaths.
Draft memo:
Memorandum
5090-1
CO (Thru CoC)
30 Aug 25
REQ COMPASSIONATE LVE, DEATH OF PARENTS
References: A. Canadian Forces Leave Policy Manual
B. Email notifying CoC of deaths in family, 29 Aug 25
1. Per ref A, I, Capt X A11 111 111, request a total of 14 days compassionate leave, 3-16 Sep 25.
2. I request this leave for the following reasons:
a. IOT visit with and support close family members in several geographic locations who may not travel to a central location
b. In order for my family and I to receive support from these family members as we process our own grief.
3. In order to connect with these close family members who are medically incapable of travelling to a central location for a funeral or memorial, I request permission to travel to:
a. North Bay, ON
b. London, ON
c. Lindsay, ON
d. Ottawa, ON
e. Montreal, QC
4. Thank you for your consideration, sir.
Capt X
Position
Contact info
This is preparing for something down the road, not an urgent request
BLUF:
What determines whether a block of compassionate leave is counted together with another? Eg. Parents get in car crash, member goes on compassionate while one parent survives for several days before dying. Member returns to duty, then requests compassionate for later wakes when family is able to manage it.
How do I request compassionate leave of 14 days?
I am dealing with parents and a sibling planning for when (hopefully several years from now) my parents die.
I would like some advice with planning a request for compassionate leave and travel assistance, to be referenced and tweaked when the moment comes.
I understand that there is a lot of discretion by the approving authority, but I'd like to have some advice on how to prepare for it, given that I already know the specifics of the complications for it.
What I want:
To go visit family on both sides (assuming both pass simultaneously) in multiple centers, to share stories and hold space with family. This will involve five locations within Canada, away from my posting.
I've got several relatives with severe physical disabilities and injuries such that travel is either very difficult or impossible, so everyone coming to one place isn't possible. Amongst them, blindness, hearing impairments, and techphobia makes virtual attendance ineffective.
Context:
My parents are retired military, pretty organized, still living near dad's last posting with zero family and a handful of friends in the vicinity. They are healthy and in their 70s.
They have their estate organized with a trust, with a contracted executor. Almost all of the physical stuff for after they die is arranged and they clearly do not want a funeral or formal memorial, etc.
I am handling personal directive stuff, medical decisions and so forth. If things get messy with brain damage or something, that's a conversation for another thread. For the most part, if one or both of them are on the way out, I can focus on being their for them and representing their immediate interests, along with my own processing of what's going on.
My sister is raising concerns about funerals and memorials that I strongly oppose. I am not projecting onto my parents, they expressed their preference first, but past experiences have really driven me up the wall.
Tomorrow, I intend to walk her and my parents through how I want to recognize their lives with people I love after my parents die. I want this to be grounded in what is a justified and effectively articulated ask from whomever my CO is at the time.
It seems like an appropriate time for me to prep such a request, as I'm thinking about it and clear-headed, as opposed to dealing with one or more parents' deaths.
Draft memo:
Memorandum
5090-1
CO (Thru CoC)
30 Aug 25
REQ COMPASSIONATE LVE, DEATH OF PARENTS
References: A. Canadian Forces Leave Policy Manual
B. Email notifying CoC of deaths in family, 29 Aug 25
1. Per ref A, I, Capt X A11 111 111, request a total of 14 days compassionate leave, 3-16 Sep 25.
2. I request this leave for the following reasons:
a. IOT visit with and support close family members in several geographic locations who may not travel to a central location
b. In order for my family and I to receive support from these family members as we process our own grief.
3. In order to connect with these close family members who are medically incapable of travelling to a central location for a funeral or memorial, I request permission to travel to:
a. North Bay, ON
b. London, ON
c. Lindsay, ON
d. Ottawa, ON
e. Montreal, QC
4. Thank you for your consideration, sir.
Capt X
Position
Contact info
