Ex-Marine kills bear with log, gets ticketed (MSNBC)

[I_am_John_Galt]

Man, if I ever go to Australia, I'm bringing my hockey helmet ... ain't no damn koala-bigfoot gonna drop on my head!!!    :warstory: :threat:

 

[Trooper Hale]

Those flaming koalas

Koala fire attack system

Yep, put wings and a propeller on a Koala and you've got yourself a state of the art attack helicopter. We've been using them for years to round up sheep on the big farms up north...and my sarcasm levels are getting dangerously high today.

 

[Benny]

Yep, put wings and a propeller on a Koala and you've got yourself a state of the art attack helicopter.

:rofl:

 

[the 48th regulator]

Man, if I ever go to Australia, I'm bringing my hockey helmet ... ain't no damn koala-bigfoot gonna drop on my head!!!    :warstory: :threat:

I thought you had to wear the hockey helmet everywhere you went? 

dileas

dileas

tess

 

[Benny]

I thought you had to wear the hockey helmet everywhere you went? 

dileas

dileas

tess

A hockey helmet will not save you from a Drop Bear as we do not play ice hockey in Australia due to water often failing to freeze at 30 degrees celcius. Hence the sheer ludicrous state of affairs will cause aforementioned helmet to self combust during drop bear attack. Drop bears are well aware of this and prefer the combustion to take around 5 minutes for a singed, but not burnt meal.

 

[Trooper Hale]

A hockey helmet will not save you from a Drop Bear as we do not play ice hockey in Australia due to water often failing to freeze at 30 degrees celcius. Hence the sheer ludicrous state of affairs will cause aforementioned helmet to self combust during drop bear attack. Drop bears are well aware of this and prefer the combustion to take around 5 minutes for a singed, but not burnt meal.

My turn, :rofl:

 

[1feral1]

But Koalas are just so darn cute and irresistible. 

Hey nice new pic!

About these beasts, they stink, like a pissy arcid syrup of a gum tree. The happiest thing I observed koala wise, was a nervous koala climbing the leg of a female Japanese tourist (pantyhose and all), yes these beasts have claws, ha!

Cheers,

Wes

 

[I_am_John_Galt]

I thought you had to wear the hockey helmet everywhere you went?

Yeah, except when I play baseball ... they told me that I had to be the Catcher ... they make me take off the helmet and then tie my wrists to my ankles!  :'(


Seriously,"Drop" Koala Bears with diesel fuel for blood?!?  What the hell, are they just supposed to kinda fall on you and gnaw away?!?  How about Flying Mutant Bigfoot-Koala Bears with battery acid for blood ... that would be way cooler ... maybe with fangs, too ...  >

 

[Benny]

Seriously,"Drop" Koala Bears with diesel fuel for blood?!?  What the hell, are they just supposed to kinda fall on you and gnaw away?!?  How about Flying Mutant Bigfoot-Koala Bears with battery acid for blood ... that would be way cooler ... maybe with fangs, too ...  >

The 'diesel' bit was about their rather flammable diet. Eucalyptus has a very low nutritional value, and nothing else that I know of eats it except insects. The digestion of it creates alcohol and oil.

Maybe we can tap them and have koala fueled cars?

 

[I_am_John_Galt]

Maybe we can tap them and have koala fueled cars?

Dunno ... I would think that the fur would bugger-up the fuel lines ...  :

 

[Benny]

Duh. You put the tap on the inside of the tap. That's where the fuel is.

 

[Trooper Hale]

Wait...tap inside tap? I'm chasing my tail on that one... ^-^...and i'm asian.
I cant believe no one has thought of that, using koala's as (sort of) renewable energy (obviously the Koala isnt renewable)!
I still think we need to expand the role of Koala's as attack helicopters though

 

[Benny]

Yep. The outside tap will get clogged with fur by the koala's automated fuel theft prevention system as was pointed out, so you use it as a decoy and put another tap inside it.

 

[Trooper Hale]

Obviously! That makes total sense now. One question though, would you have to mount some sort of Gum Tree on the back of your car to facilitate the constant supply of fuel? I mean, in my mind that makes total sense and makes it perfectly acceptable renewable energy. I think people could protest if you rocked up to a Service station and said "Fill her up Jim, i'll need to butcher at least 4 of the little buggers after that drive!". Having a tree on the boot of the car just makes sense.

 

[I_am_John_Galt]

I can already foresee a rise in vehicles running out of fuel: "damn it honey, you forgot the gascap again, didn't you?  How many times have I told you not to let the little bastards crawl out!"

 

[GAP]

In a simiiar incident there is this....

Boy, 5, pins rabid fox during North Carolina family cookout, protects brother
Wed Jul 4 11:55:00 CDT 2007
Article Link

KINGSTOWN, N.C. (AP) — A quick-thinking five-year-old boy grabbed a rabid fox by the neck and pinned it to the ground during a family cookout in North Carolina, protecting six other children before his stepfather could step in.
“I wanted to protect my little brother,” Rayshun McDowell, who battled the animal in the front yard of his home, told the Charlotte Observer in an interview posted on the newspaper’s website Tuesday.

The fox bit Rayshun in the leg Sunday in Kingstown, a town about 80 kilometres west of Charlotte.

But the 61-pound boy held the animal down for more than a minute.

“I looked out the window and Rayshun had the fox by the neck and was pushing it into the ground,” said his mother, Shinda Linder. “I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.”

Rayshun’s stepfather, Ryan Thompson, pulled the boy off the animal and kicked it. A neighbour fired a handgun three times but the fox continued to advance.   
Thompson, wearing a cast because of a broken leg, said he used a stick and his crutch to beat the fox to death.

Animal control officials said Tuesday that test results confirmed the fox had rabies, which is fatal unless treated before symptoms appear. Rayshun is undergoing treatment.

“Rayshun was really calm and wasn’t upset,” his mother said. “I couldn’t believe he would do something like that. He was so brave, and I was a wreck
End of story

 

[Greymatters]

Kudos (or in this case Koalas) to our down-under boys for the drop bears and self-combusting koala stories.  Nice to see the finest of military traditions is being carried on with residents of The Big Island.  No wonder our countries get along so well!  (ABCA Alumni 1989)

You had me going with the 'drop bears', but the 'flaming koalas' was a big giveaway (but funny as hell).  Never heard of either of those before.

Say, ever heard of how we steer beaver migrations so that they make natural fire breaks through the woodlands?  Perhaps you could use a herd of them to help contain your spontaneous koala bushfires? 

 

[Trooper Hale]

You mean you dont believe us? You untrusting ingrate! My honesty has been brought into question....Yesh, alright, you got me. That flaming Koala's is my favorite story to tell people outside of Australia because if told right it can be really believable. The giveaway is usually calling a group of Koala's a "Flare" or that they move in herds. Or even that eucalyptus is that flammable (I'm so proud, i spelt eucalyptus in one attempt without the spell checker!). Well done Greymatter.

Drop bears are also a great one. Theres an ad on telly for Bundaberg Rum where a bunch of lads out camping tell a bunch of gorgeous Swedish tourist that they shouldnt put their tent under a tree because of the drop bears. So the girls move their tent to where the boys are. Its a story that has been told to foreign girls out camping more then a couple of times i understand! And usually works apparently.

So there you have it. You all fell for it...sort of, and for those that didnt, thanks for not spoiling it, at least for a couple of days. I think Michael O'Leary cracked it first. Damn that investigative mind of his! Have a good one, i'm off to ward off the drop bears and fight a Koala fire. Those pesky buggers are crossing flinty ground again!

 

[Benny]

Say, ever heard of how we steer beaver migrations so that they make natural fire breaks through the woodlands?  Perhaps you could use a herd of them to help contain your spontaneous koala bushfires?   

Ever noticed how their numbers have declined out your way? Our Koala attack helicoptor squadron has been abducting large numbers of beavers in recent years. We place them on the underside of a combine harvester and use it as a mobile woodchipping machine.