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I’m starting this thread as a place for me (and maybe others) to share stories and memories of their past and present furry, family members. I realized today that after approx 3 weeks, I’m still grieving. I figured since I wasn’t breaking down in tears and had started to put away his things that I was fine. Apparently not, because today has felt like I’m starting at day one again.
After over 14yrs of my first-ever dog being a part of my life, I made the decision that it was time to put him down due to multiple deteriorating health issues. I simply wasn’t prepared for the grief, guilt and emptiness that followed. I thought I was, but it’s by far one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. There’s no such thing as bereavement benefits after the loss of a beloved pet, and some scoff at the thought, I suppose. But those first few days were devastating.
Obviously I’m biased, but he was, indeed, the best dog anyone could’ve asked for. Super-easy to train, intelligent, affectionate, playful and always full of energy. He loved people (not other dogs so much), he adapted to many environments very easily (we moved with him 7 times) and we didn’t have any behavioural or health problems with him at all for over 12yrs.
We adopted/rescued him while in South Korea. He couldn’t stand properly and his ribs were sticking out. I picked him up and was hooked. I fell in love.
I’m an animal person. I’m one of the many who openly admit to loving animals more than most people. I always had some sort of furry friend growing up, but due to allergies within the household at the time we couldn’t have any larger animals. As soon as I moved out I got a cat, followed by 2 more at different times. Eventually, I found Pepper. My life has never felt complete without some sort of animal to share my space with.
But...after all of this...even aside from the plethora of intense, unexpected emotions, what has surprised me the most is this. I don’t know if I can ever do it again. I don’t ever want to feel the way I did in those moments, nor the days which followed. My closest friend told me that perhaps the reason it’s been so hard on me was because his passing wasn’t as described in so many articles, which talk about euthanizing their dog. It was not peaceful or calm for him. The first injection, out of the series of 3, sent him into a panicked, crying and shaking state as I’ve never seen or heard before. I contemplated asking them to stop—I’d pay for that injection and just bring him back home, let it wear off, and maybe soon he’d pass peacefully on his own. But I knew that keeping him alive would have been for me. Selfish. So we went through with it. And I’m still not at peace with it. I don’t know how long is too long to grieve...for me, I guess it hasn’t been long enough though. I miss him.
Thanks for reading.
After over 14yrs of my first-ever dog being a part of my life, I made the decision that it was time to put him down due to multiple deteriorating health issues. I simply wasn’t prepared for the grief, guilt and emptiness that followed. I thought I was, but it’s by far one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. There’s no such thing as bereavement benefits after the loss of a beloved pet, and some scoff at the thought, I suppose. But those first few days were devastating.
Obviously I’m biased, but he was, indeed, the best dog anyone could’ve asked for. Super-easy to train, intelligent, affectionate, playful and always full of energy. He loved people (not other dogs so much), he adapted to many environments very easily (we moved with him 7 times) and we didn’t have any behavioural or health problems with him at all for over 12yrs.
We adopted/rescued him while in South Korea. He couldn’t stand properly and his ribs were sticking out. I picked him up and was hooked. I fell in love.
I’m an animal person. I’m one of the many who openly admit to loving animals more than most people. I always had some sort of furry friend growing up, but due to allergies within the household at the time we couldn’t have any larger animals. As soon as I moved out I got a cat, followed by 2 more at different times. Eventually, I found Pepper. My life has never felt complete without some sort of animal to share my space with.
But...after all of this...even aside from the plethora of intense, unexpected emotions, what has surprised me the most is this. I don’t know if I can ever do it again. I don’t ever want to feel the way I did in those moments, nor the days which followed. My closest friend told me that perhaps the reason it’s been so hard on me was because his passing wasn’t as described in so many articles, which talk about euthanizing their dog. It was not peaceful or calm for him. The first injection, out of the series of 3, sent him into a panicked, crying and shaking state as I’ve never seen or heard before. I contemplated asking them to stop—I’d pay for that injection and just bring him back home, let it wear off, and maybe soon he’d pass peacefully on his own. But I knew that keeping him alive would have been for me. Selfish. So we went through with it. And I’m still not at peace with it. I don’t know how long is too long to grieve...for me, I guess it hasn’t been long enough though. I miss him.
Thanks for reading.
