How to iron your pants (FYI)

[armyvern]

Sgt Jerry XXXXXXXX to one of his kids  (ie me!! -- with at least two members of this site as witness')

"Gibson did you iron those pants?"
"Yes Sgt""
"With what?"
"An iron Sgt."
"Since when does canex sell tire irons?"

I got it!!

Vern -- tries to keep straight face after last remark by him as he moved down the line one morning at 0700. He gets two people away from me and the laugh just happens. I tried but failed to stifle it. It was not pretty. Especially so if you've ever heard me laugh!! He lost it. My eyes were watering.

6 extras later (3 for the shitty iron job -- 3 for the laughter), I decided right then and there that my husband could iron my crap for me from there on in. Oh the benefits of marriage to an RCR -- the professional 'dressers'.  >

 

[a_majoor]

In Cornwallis, there was a guy in my section who thought he could outsmart the Section Commander. (This is always dangerous; and MCpl Hunt was actually much sharper than the average bear....).

Our man went an purchased a bottle of liquid starch the first free weekend we could go to CANEX, and proceeded to starch the s**t out of all his workdress pants and shirts except one pair. My job was doing laundry for my bunkmate and the pair across from us (they variously shone boots, made beds, did station jobs; division of labour and economy of force), and I watched astonished as he did this. While the end results were really works of art (I have never to this day seen creases so sharp), I knew it would end badly, and told him so.

"No, they look great. Hunt's going to love it!"

"He's never going to let you get away with that"

To picture the next scene, remember the "H" huts in Cornwallis were huge affairs, with 40+ spaces on each floor. The NCO's would come in from the door closest to the Bay of Fundy for our shack, I was near the door, while our friend was at the opposite end farthest from the door. We formed up for morning inspection in work dress, facing our bunk space (and back to back with the team across from us). Unlike the other NCO's, MCpl Hunt did not yell, fling boots across the room or dump beds and lockers over (we heard enough of that from the other wings), which made his comments that much more terrifying somehow. After being inspected and watching the daily quota of unsatisfactory chits get dropped on our pillows (lightly starched and ironed pillows at that, what the hell did we have to do to pass inspection anyway?) we heard him moving farther and farther down the hall;

"Bloggins; is that underwear folded 6"X6?"......"Uh, no Master Corporal"
"Smith, what is this in your laundry hamper?"...."Dust, Master Corporal"
(No one would ever claim to have done it correctly, although at the end course party he admitted most of what he looked at was good, he was just messing with our minds)
Worst of all was the soft rustling sound of him pushing some shirts and pants apart on the hanger with his pace stick, he was shooting someone a look which made you feel about 3" tall.

Finally, he reached the end of the hall.

"Jones" (forgot his real name after all these years)
"Yes Master Corporal!"
"These shirts. Can you....................................................wear them?"
(Long pause)
"Uh, yes, Master Corporal"
"Good. Put this one on"

Being a summer course, he not only had to free the shirt from the hanger and put it on, but also had to roll up the sleeves. The shirt was about as stiff as plywood, and by the end of the day, his body looked like he had been attacked with a belt sander. We had to take the rest of his clothes into the shower to get them soft enough to put into the laundry machine, but NO ONE ever attempted to mess with this NCO for the remainder of the course.

 

[Jake]

Can the iron be applied directly to your Army DEU pants? Or will this cause them to melt?

 

[Timmy!]

Can the iron be applied directly to your Army DEU pants? Or will this cause them to melt?

No, read the label inside your DEU pants. It is safe to iron them, but not to wash them. Don't ask.

 

[PMedMoe]

I've always used a pillowcase over them to avoid the "shine" you get from ironing.  A damp one works best.

 

[Hawk]

ALWAYS use a damp cloth to press your DEU's or they will shine.

I pressed all new pants with soap in the crease. You only have to do it once. The crease will survive the washer and dryer. One night on parade (reserves)  Sgt really gets up a guy's nose about his uniform. I was half way down the second rank, and when he got to me he looked me up and down.

"When did you press your uniform, Cpl?" (Oh, oh!)
"Weekend, Sgt."
"Please "(!) (Please from a Sgt????)"Please explain to Pte ***** how to press his pants."

After parade I told him Sgt better see me talking to him - I told him the secret. I didn't lie to Sgt - I just didn't tell him WHICH weekend - it had been 3 months before!


Hawk

 

[geo]

How to iron pants.....

Rule no 1)  Take pants off before you attempt to do this! 


I kid you not, some bozo showed up at the MIR with severe burn to his thign...... YUP, tried to save time by doing it "on the fly"...

Got the crease  BUT.......

(A candidate for the Darwin award if there was ever a candidate IMHO)

 

[DannyD]

:rofl:

And I always thought that people ironing clothing on themselves was a joke, too stupid to be true...

I stand corrected.

 

[dwalter]

Yes, many irons actually come with notes in the instructions saying "Remove clothing articles before ironing."

Some people don't get it do they? As for Darwin awards, he at least sounds like the kind of guy who might get an honourable mention one day.

 

[CorporalMajor]

How to iron pants.....

Rule no 1)  Take pants off before you attempt to do this! 


I kid you not, some bozo showed up at the MIR with severe burn to his thign...... YUP, tried to save time by doing it "on the fly"...

Got the crease  BUT.......

(A candidate for the Darwin award if there was ever a candidate IMHO)

AHAHAAHAHAHA...

Personally I find what works well:

Soak the pants with water. Literally, spill water on it and let it soak into the fabric.
Then form/fold the actual creases, which is easier than it would have been were it dry.
With iron on high, while pinning the pants down and strecthing them flat against the board, firmly iron down the crease.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, make sure you're moving the iron fast enough so that it doesn't burn...but slow enough for the water to evaporate.

This has worked wonders for me every time.