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Living with an OSI.

It is a grind, one day at a time Dogger.  Did you make it to Homewood or Bellwood - really good programs there.  I've been off this forum for a while and haven't blogged much in the new year.  Thanks for the update / all the best, Dan.
 
Wow over 200 days since the last post. Just goes to show how messed up my time perception is! Man thats near a year!

So I figured I'd drop a update of my situation. If for nothing else a little vent of whats been happening over the past 200 days.

I came to my new post with an ideal of focusing on getting my life back together, getting the help I needed. I figured I would not have the same deep set work ethic I did in my previous base as I would no longer be working for buddys who I always wanted to do the best job for. I would put off appts and sometimes outright cancel them for the "greater good" of any task we were completing at work. In the back of my mind I validated this as the last "push" before I could get posted away and seek help.

The move. It was horrible. No longer did I feel in control as I normally did. My wife did basically everything as my ability to cope with anything was gone. However my wife/guardian/godess made everything work; and managed to look after our children and me throughout the move. We got settled in and I began work at my new post.

The new job turned out to be horrible. Career cadet officers who were the most arrogant commissioned officers I've ever met. Their treatment of the B class Snr NCO's employed there was unreal.  However these B class members expressed that if they bucked the way things were there they would be sent packing next contract. I attempted to make the best of it all dealing with PTSD and MDD getting treatment and working to improve the post as much as I could. Compliments were coming into my desk from outside the unit and the people who were out at the cadet units were very happy to see a change in attitude at the det.

I had the "privilage" of working directly for a person with the largest chip on their shoulder I have ever met. A person whop was there for the ego of wearing a uniform of the CF; and not for the program. I ignored as much as I could over the following months getting yelled at in front of peers and subordinates etc. I would puke before each day at work, come home too exausted to even eat supper or get off the couch in my uniform.

Finally after 2 months of being in the position I called the CDU to see if they had set up my shrinks and everything which I had told them would need to be done during a meeting with one of their DR's. I came to find out nothing had been set up. While I was home suffering hurting and running out of medication...nothing had been done. Apparently the official story was I didn't clear out of warrior support at my last base. I checked my scanned clearance sheets and verified that I was not 100% insane and that I did. I don't like people who lie. Just tell me the paperwork got lost and someone messed up. It gave me a poor outlook on just how my treatment would be here at this new post.

I was coming home angry and upset beyond the norm of the injury. Finally I got into see a shrink and a pill dr. Both great people who are trying their best.

I have a hard time going outside in the city. My ability to shop is nil, do banking, or anything that just isnt 100% necessity and sometimes then its impossible (I had berries for supper cause I dont want to go to the store and my family is away)

Pills have been switched up and changed more than my son changes his clothing during the day (thats a lot). Some work somewhat for a bit however its been 2 years now and things have not changed for the better.

Finally at work I had a disagreement with my boss. Basically he changed his plan yet again for the worse and destroyed months of work I had been working on. There was no reasoning behind it just the inability to make and stand by decisions. I've caught this man lying etc and I finally told him " you guys cant make a plan to save your life's" He said 'come with me" I replied that I wouldnt and if he had something to say say it in front of my peer. He was staring me down and then began to say get out in the lunch room. Nope I replied...you can charge me but I aint going no where. Every time I attempted to leave the area he came back standing in my doorway angry telling me to get down to the lunch room. I had told him before that during time of personal conflict I may need to desc elate and step out. Finally he left for long enough to allow me to step outside and cool off. My ears were ringing I began to puke. I went to my car and proceeded to have one of the largest panic attacks I've had to date. An hour or so later I went back inside to clear anything up. I was still shaking and not doing well. I was exhausted. He then invited me over to his house for fireworks later that week with my kids. I figured it was a done deal. A disagreement between adults and that would be that.

Next morning I get asked my one of the WO to go outside for a bit to smoke. A normal occurring activity around 10h00 really. We talked about everything as we normally do, weather etc. Suddenly out of no where I get told "you best fall on your own sword, the Maj wants to see you at 10h10"..4 minutes away.

I
 
I was shocked. I was blown away.

I walked up to the office totally freaked out and blindsided by it all. Fall on my own sword?

Anyway the meeting didnt go well.

I somehow made it home. I cant remember how which is scary. I made it to the basement floor where I stayed for 14 hours puking and freaking out. I pissed myself. My wife put a blanket around me and stayed with me. I stayed there for a day i believe although i cant remember much of it. My dr seen me on short notice the day after so two days I guess I cant recall bugger all really.


The shrink really helped and seen me again the next day. Once I slipped out of that hell. And I mean absolute hell I seen what my injury had done to my family. My wife and kids seen that crap. I decided then and there I was done.

I marched myself into the hospital the following week which was a horriable experience. I have never been anything but a soldier and here I was going to admit I couldnt be one anymore. I was scared. Very very scared. What would I do to support my family.

My wife said she would rather be on welfare than see me like that again. Done.

I am currently on many days off and will be finally heading towards a JPSU and med release. I try not to let all this bother me but ive been ruminating quite a bit. and in a pretty bad place.

I dont know or care about the outcome of my charge anymore. As my dr said she is surprised I managed to keep my cool as I did. Past experiences dictated another reaction was more likely.

in other ways im thankful for their way of treating me. It showed just how good my unit looked after me and the professionalism of officers and snr nco's I had the privilege of working for and leading.

My army days are now numbered. I worry a lot about the future. Alas as they have shown me I can't be working anymore.

And I guess I can thank them for that.
 
Talk to me... Off this mean's where-ever your comfortible...
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXX
Scoty B

- Mod edited to keep personal contact info out of the public realm -
 
thanks for the help offered it is very much appreciated.

here's a question for you all. If you were to find out your superior had broadcasted online you were on "sick leave for an indefinite period of time" across the region. ..What course of action would you take. Personally I don't think me being on sick leave is anyone's business other than my direct CoC and my medical staff. these people are starting to anger me beyond belief. What should/could I do. Please help.

Edit to add: this went out to well over 1000 people. My personal situation is no bodys business. I want to take action against this.
 
Continuation of this thing called "life".

The almost humorous thing is due to THIS forum; I have received more help than I have of 2 years suffering. I just started my first TCAT after 2 years of being diagnosed with PTSD and MDD. I basically did a medical exam that didn't really deal with much related to the injury. Touch my toes cough hearing test kinda stuff. Out of all my years of service it was the first medical i have ever had aside from enrollment; and my first category. It ended up being O5 and G5. My eye sight and lungs seem good.

My shrink has suggested 6 months off and has expressed this to my CDU Dr's. Yet what isn't making sense to me at all is if I have been instructed to take 6 months off...why do I have to go up on that base every 14 days for sick parade and talk to whom ever about getting another 14 days off. Why do people recovering from surgery get 3-4 weeks sick leave and all I can get is 14 days. No request to drop back...I have to go in or the chit runs out and I'm AWOL. (Which is starting to look like a option honestly)

My Tcat didn't give me any restrictions.The Dr didnt express my restrictions and honestly I wasn't even there in my mind. It was one of those days. So now I start the worry of going back into that crowded UMS to beg like a  malinger for 14 days (which they say is the max they can give). I'v contacted the ISPC which basically told me that yes 14 days sick leave is the max allowed. This doesn't seem right at all.

I need to get away from this stuff. It seems the days tick by and I'm a mess thinking about this stuff worrying about what day I go back...do I just go back to work after the 14 days? Or do I go sit in the CDU and say the same stuff over and over and count the days over and over until I'm released. If that's the policy that's fine. However this isn't what I'm seeing on other bases. We soldiers talk; if it wasn't for some of them I would be long gone totally off the deep end.

I met with the ISPC thanks to certain folks on this board (I've thanked you via PM and email). I'm not seeing what they do yet...I don't get it really. They had some great ideas about some awesome stuff like schooling. Meanwhile i had pissed my pants earlier that day and rarely know what day of the week or month it is.I can't read a book anymore which I truly use to enjoy; and were talking about school. In the meanwhile they are really nice folk who went well out of their way to meet with me.

Pills are changing more than I can keep up with. I'm like a walking deadman. I dont want to be angry at the military anymore. I just want them to leave me alone and let me leave.

 
I believe the only way you can get more than 14 days is if the Base Surg signs off on the sick leave. I am pretty sure that was the process on what was done when i had my back surgery.
 
Dogger, can you PM me with details, and I can find the references wrt sick leave.
Thanks, and glazd to see they did something for you.
 
Certain bases have certain guidlines regarding sick leave.  In Edmonton, for example, the MO can only give up to 5 half-days max for mental health-related issues (Saw the guide, had to deal with it myself).  It's stupid, I know.  The unit, however, can give you up to 14 days compassionate I believe.

 
When I was culled from the herd, Bde assets were absolved of having to deal with me at all.  I was placed on "the list" and all my sick leave was administered through the base hospital in Edmonton, 28 days at a time, if I remember properly, and I probably don't.
 
It may be that they have set it at 14 days so that they can make sure members are ok.  The military and medical staff have taken some kicks in the last few years over their lack of attention and treatment to members and you may be at a location that was stung.
 
CountDC said:
It may be that they have set it at 14 days so that they can make sure members are ok.  The military and medical staff have taken some kicks in the last few years over their lack of attention and treatment to members and you may be at a location that was stung.
Canadian Forces Leave Policy Manual
A-PP-005-LVE/AG-001

Page 57 and 58.

CO cannot approve over 2 days
MO or Civilian Medical Doctor desiganted - up to 30 days not including the SL granted by Niner
Senior MO of a Formation - 91 - including all SL granted by CO or MO or MO designate
Surgeon General - 183 PLU SL already granted by the above

In my mind , having you come in every 14 days to get another 14 days does violates the intent and spirit of the above. IMO, and it is only an opinion, the HS pers are getting around the approval process by having the soldier report every 14 days. If you need 91 days SL, then the formation MO should be signing off on it, and your CoC SHOULD have a policy in place to contact you once a week or so to make sure you are OK and you and your family are safe.

Question - if the soldier was recovering from significant surgery which impaired his mobility - would HS have them come in every 14 days?
 
Jim Seggie said:
Question - if the soldier was recovering from significant surgery which impaired his mobility - would HS have them come in every 14 days?

There would be a system put in place, nurse visiting, posting to IPSC with a COC, so that tabs can be kept on the members healing and see if his/her needs are met.  I think CoundDC nailed it;

CountDC said:
It may be that they have set it at 14 days so that they can make sure members are ok.  The military and medical staff have taken some kicks in the last few years over their lack of attention and treatment to members and you may be at a location that was stung.
 
during a tough time i was getting 30 days at a time by my MO. just had to check in with the JPSU daily to make sure I was still alive.
 
Turner said:
during a tough time i was getting 30 days at a time by my MO. just had to check in with the JPSU daily to make sure I was still alive.

Thats what Ive been seeing across the board. this base just don't seem to have a clue what to do with me. I'm gonna talk to my civilian dr and see what she can do. It does seem like I have to jump every hoop and CoC to get anything done. Unfortunately after 2 years I gotta look after number 1; for the first time in my career.

I have a funny feeling I will make no friends over the next few months. Unfortunately you have to fight for all this stuff yourself. 6 months of returning to sick pde when my shrink is saying I shouldnt even be near the stuff....

Jim I think you hit the nail on the head. I have a highly skilled dr telling me I should be away from all the B/S for 6 months. I have a CoC who could easily check up on me/ keep regular contact. I see no reason for the return every 14 days.
 
dogger1936 said:
I see no reason for the return every 14 days.

Much as I feel for you I see a reason, they are still paying you.  Sorry, bottom line..............
 
Bruce Monkhouse said:
Much as I feel for you I see a reason, they are still paying you.  Sorry, bottom line..............

Thanks Bruce.

I agree they are paying me. I still see no reason to report to a UMS every 14 days. Not when I have a CoC to facilitate my productivity to the big green machine.

I'm not a Pte that goes to the UMS so much I have a Med degree. I'm a snr NCO who has mental problems as well as multiple surgeries I must attend to." I've done the whole "buck up and soldier on" thing for near two years now....guess what...it didn't work. At the end my personal life and family life was shattered. So I decided to listen to health care providers and stop being so hardheaded.

My shrink says to stay away from the environment for 6 months...I finally listen to the Dr's...and the military cannot seem to facilitate that.

To each their own on the opinion. As far as I'm concerned the UMS is not doing what hired by the military mental professionals are requesting.
 
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