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More and more funnies.. vol: something...

I just finished making a time machine.  I'm going to go back in time five minutes to see if it works.  Wish me luck!  :salute:
 
Journeyman said:
Viagra?  The "does this smell like chloroform" pick-up line?  The priest costume?  :-\

Should have waited a few minutes......


:rofl:
 
Technoviking said:
I just finished making a time machine.  I'm going to go back in time five minutes to see if it works.  Wish me luck!  :salute:


And I thought I was nuts.....I've been bested. *sigh* :(
 
Raisin Bread

A bakery owner hires a young female shop assistant who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties.

One day a young man enters the store.  Noticing her short skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea.  "I'd like some raisin bread please!", the man says.

The shop assistant climbs up the ladder to reach the raisin bread located on the very top shelf.  The man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he thought.  When she descends the ladder, he decides that he would really like two loaves.

After she retrieves the second loaf of bread and descends the ladder, one of the other male customers notices what's going on and requests his own loaf of raisin bread.

After many trips she is tired and irritated and begins to wonder, "Why the unusual interest in the raisin bread?"  Atop the ladder one more time, she looks down and notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd.  Thinking that she can save herself another trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is it raisin for you too?"

"No," stammers the old man, "but it's quivering a little."
 
Giant Rick Perry Chia head for sale.  ;D   


http://blog.chron.com/rickperry/2011/09/giant-rick-perry-chia-head-for-sale/#loopBegin
 
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SENSITIVITY TRAINING

The  room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The  class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the  women how to breathe and was telling the men how to give  the necessary help and assurance to their partners at  this stage of the pregnancy.

She said,  "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking  is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic  muscles and will make delivery that much easier.  Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay  on a soft surface like grass or a path."

She  looked at the men in the room, "Gentlemen, remember --  you're in this together.  It wouldn't hurt you to  go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience  would be good for you both."

The room suddenly  got very quiet as the men absorbed this  information.

After a few moments, a man named  Gary at the back of the  room slowly raised his hand.

"Yes," said the  Instructor.

"I was just wondering if it would be  all right if she carries a golf bag while we  walk?"

This kind of sensitivity just can't be  taught.
 
Well......that strengthens her back muscles also.....no?
 
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