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Taliban Training Monkeys to Fight!

The Bread Guy

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From the makers of Donkey Bomb and the Test Firing Bombs (IED and Suicide), the Taliban brings you - MONKEY FIGHTERS!
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It MUST be true if it's being reported by the Chinese media here and here, right?
Afghanistan's Taliban insurgents are training monkeys to use weapons to attack American troops, according to a recent report by a British-based media agency.

Reporters from the media agency spotted and took photos of a few "monkey soldiers" holding AK-47 rifles and Bren light machine guns in the Waziristan tribal region near the border between Pakistan and Afghanistan. The report and photos have been widely spread by media agencies and Web sites across the world.

According to the report, American military experts call them "monkey terrorists."

As a form of cruel political means, wars are launched to meet political goals through conquest, devastation, assaults and other means.

In a sense, the emergence of "monkey soldiers" is the result of asymmetrical warfare. The United States launched the war in Afghanistan using the world's most advanced weapons such as highly-intelligent robots to detect bombs on roadsides and unmanned aerial vehicles to attack major Taliban targets. In response, the Taliban forces have tried any possible means and figured out a method to train monkeys as "replacement killers" against American troops.

Analysts believe that apart from using "monkey killers" to attack the American troops, the Taliban also sought to arouse Western animal protectionists to pressure their governments to withdraw troops from Afghanistan.

An American official responded that the Taliban forces have started training "monkey soldiers" after suffering heavy losses, implying that they have exhausted their tricks. Nevertheless, the Taliban believe that the emergence of "monkey soldiers" indicates that they have found smarter and more effective ways to cope with American troops ....
not to mention a bitchin' Pixar-esque video from Taiwan TV here.

A bit of reality from Stars & Stripes' "Rumor Doctor" here and here.
 
Um who is the leader of these monkeys? Curious George? ;D

Maybe the Man in the Big Yellow Hat can enlighten us..... :D
 
This can't honestly be serious, can it? I don't want a monkey rebellion to erupt.
 
Training mokeys to 'fight' which to me is a joke, and then something as seriously outragously sick as executing 7 yr old children as CIA spies, what a combination.

Crikey, what are we (us westerners) up against?
 
Gentlemen, our course of action is clear. We must train our moose and beavers to combat this new threat to freedom.
 
Maybe the "Planet Of The Apes" movie series was not science fiction after all...  8)

Here's the new Quetta Shura:

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HavokFour said:
Gentlemen, our course of action is clear. We must train our moose and beavers to combat this new threat to freedom.

Agreed. Well said.

Perhaps we can train anteaters as well?
 
Sounds to me like a whole lot of monkey business going on out there.
We have to send them an army of flying insects. Miniature robotic insect infestation.
Not too far fetched.....Seems these things are being worked on. robotic insects
 
Jim Seggie said:
Agreed. Well said.

Perhaps we can train anteaters as well?

Excellent idea. We can inject the anteaters with Adamantium making their long tongues deadly stabbing devices.
 
This just means we're one step closer to the "Monkeys with flamethrowers" COA3 that always gets jokingly brought up and then discarded.
 
HavokFour said:
Excellent idea. We can inject the anteaters with Adamantium making their long tongues deadly stabbing devices.

Adamantium - OK I'm infantry like ya know.....what is this stuff?
 
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