The CWO Williamson " classic one-liners" thread !!

[Standards]

Pay your F#@king canteen bills!!!

We were lined up on the old airfield with all our kit for an inspection.  Willy pulled out some poor guys socks (I can't remeber who) and proceeded to try and shove his finger through one.  After about 30 seconds of grunting and groaning effort he managed to poke a hole through the sock.  The poor guy then got shit on for having NS kit in his rucksack.

D

 

[kj_gully]

Holy fuck I have tears from laughing! I had the misfortune of having him as my RSM and As the SSM in Chilliwack  @ CFSME. 18 years later I still remember one of those brutal squadron parades on ... was it thursday mornings? Any ways, he was spazzing out because some poor carpenter didn't have his collar dogs lined up to his liking. He says, and I will paraphrase slightly but not exagerrate, " IF YOU WANNA BE 100 PUHSENT SOJOOR, YOU HAVE TO LOOK 100 PUHSENT SOJOOR I GET UP EVER DAY AT 0430 AND IRON MY COMBAT, SPITSHINE MY BOOTE EVER SOJOOR SHOULD HAVE SIX INCH RULER IN HIS POCKET FOR TO CHECK HIS DRESS AT ALL TIME!!!!!" He then proceeded to pull his often used personal six inch ruler out of his breast pocket, and graphically demonstrate to the amazed journeyman that indeed every trinket and shiny on his uniform, collar dogs, training command badge, hazarddous duty badges, etc. were perfectly aligned. As an aside, there were very few medals on parade to concern yourself with unless you were in CE, then you might of had a CD and Cyprus if you were super lucky

Take care warriors
Gully

 

[SprCForr]

This was started in a different thread, but just to recap. How about the infamous welcoming speech to courses coming into Mind Warfare and Domination? I presume it was the same for GMT when he was there.
...YOU TINK ON SATURDAY MORNING I SIT AROUND EAT DE F*CKING RICE KRISPEE AND WATCH DE FLINTSTONE? NO! I IRON MY COMBAT AND SHINE DE BOOT! YOU WANT TO BE ME! YOU LOOK AT ME AND TINK I AM CRAZEE, BUT I AM NOT! I AM SOJER!

And you were right about the SME parades. Thurs mornings for them. Fri was always booked for the Regt.