Things you just shouldn't say to certain people in the army...

[The Bread Guy]

To Female MP:  So, you just use those handcuffs for work?  (followed by discrete, but firm nudge of boot in small of back by course commander)

Dundurn, SK, 1980's, when I was a section cdr for an ISCC course....  about 40 lbs body weight ago, in my case

 

[GINge!]

"You there! Get off the RSM's grass!"
>"Tell the RSM he needs to buy a lawnmower!"
5 extras later.... :-[

 

[vonGarvin]

"Where in the f*** is Sgt "so-and-so"?" says the WO.
"How should I know" says the MCpl, in a very sarcastic tone (misreading the WO's inflections in his voice, who, it turns out, was actually quite serious!)
"Who in the f*** are you to talk to me like that.....blah blah blah....I oughtta'....blah blah blah" replies the WO.

(I didn't really hear everything, my excrement filters went on high power).

 

[X Royal]

Setting: Reg. Force Jr's mess.

Reservist to reg. force soldier - "The only reason you are in the reg. force is that you can't make it on civy street."

After a few broken bodies & a major MP investigation = New reserve jr's mess.

Pro Patria

 

[the 48th regulator]

Setting: Reg. Force Jr's mess.

Reservist to reg. force soldier - "The only reason you are in the reg. force is that you can't make it on civy street."

After a few broken bodies & a major MP investigation = New reserve jr's mess.

Pro Patria

Now why would the reservist go and insult him like that, beat him up, and take over the reg force mess??

Not very nice of him, if you ask me, but I guess it happens...

dileas

tess

 

[career_radio-checker]

Well I've never been part of the bashing between Res and Regforce but as Spiderman says "everyone gets one":

Regforce Pvt down hall in shacks: "F***ing Reservists. You know, there is a difference between us!
Reservist down at other end of hall: Yah, a university degree.  :blotto:

 

[X Royal]

Now why would the reservist go and insult him like that, beat him up, and take over the reg force mess??

Not very nice of him, if you ask me, but I guess it happens...

dileas

tess

Since your not still in, I quess you can't be punted for what you been smoking. :

 

[the 48th regulator]

Since your not still in, I quess you can't be punted for what you been smoking. :

:rofl:

Yep, ain't that the beauty of it all....especially reading people telling stories about me when I was in....

cheers!! 

dileas

tess

 

[JBP]

You have to give him some credit, he has brass the size of pomegranates, not too bright, but brass none the less...

Nah nah nah nah! No credit due there - he had lots of liquid courage is all!!!

 

[GUNS]

Sitting at a table in a local watering hole in Lahr.
Woman comes in with a dog in her arms and starts looking around.
Guy at next table yells out " where did you get the pig"
Woman at door ignores guy at table.
"Where did you get the pig" a second time.
Woman at door getting frustrated.
"Where did you get the pig"
This time the woman at the door replied" Its not a pig, its a dog"
Guy at table " Wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the dog"
Woman at door left.

True story, happened at the TennerBar( not sure of spelling) 1972

 

[17thRecceSgt]

Not a lot of youngun's understand the "Ladies From Hell" nickname.

I was lucky enough to meet one that was still in when it was a Reg Frce unit.  Different kind of man...

I am DEFINITELY going to remember the doughnut one Haggis!   :rofl:

 

[17thRecceSgt]

Now why would the reservist go and insult him like that, beat him up, and take over the reg force mess??

Not very nice of him, if you ask me, but I guess it happens...

dileas

tess

:rofl:

I won't bother with all my stories of Reg Frce vs Reserve.  What is that called?  Ya.

 

[Shamrock]

"Ya know, NavyMich, you lazy, nogoodnick reservists..."

 

[vonGarvin]

Standing by the mock tower in Petawawa, waiting for MCpl so-and-so from 3 Cdo to show up, waiting with my fellow militia men, when from out of the sun (it was at his back), I see a maroon beret wearing NCO approaching.  "Are you MCpl So and So?" I ask, as I just then realise that the chevrons and maple leaf was actually a crown with a wreath around it.  I just stopped talking and pretended to not understand English anymore

As a tangent, going into my buddies car by the Rappel Tower in Petawawa, as 3 Cdo is running a platoon through rappel.  As I attempt to start the car, I realise several eyes bearing down on me, when I realise that I am in the wrong Toyota!!!!!  Again, "no speakie da' English" was my preferred option ;D

 

[ExSarge]

Standing ankle deep in a rice paddy just outside of Osan Korea, after a para drop. Approached by a private (from another platoon, thank god!). "Hey sarge, I left my rifle on the plane, what should I do?" as I watched the flight of C-141's depart to California, via Okinawa and the Philippines!

 

[GAP]

The next time you take your radio in to be fixed by the techs, think about what you are telling them.

A very disgusted private came into our shop at Cua Viet, slammed a PRC-25 on the front desk and loudly proclaimed
"It talks, but won't listen!!"

OOOOOk...we'll get right on that there bud...

 

[Red 6]

Four worst words in the Army: "Who's your squad leader?"  :-[

 

[Kat Stevens]

seven most feared words in the army:
  "I'm from Ottawa, I'm here to help."

 

[George Wallace]

Was in Petawawa last winter for ex. Met up with a buddy haven't seen since battleschool. We were at the bar and he walks over to these 2 larger ladies. I'm thinking, what is he doing. He looks at one of them and says "so you don't sweat much for a fat chick"

I spit my beer across the bar.

Sue White Story

In the Coriano.  Friday night.  Sitting at a table beside the Dance floor with several other Hussars, drinking Beer.  Sue White comes over to the table and asks a young Trooper Rooney to Dance.  Rooney says he can't dance.  Sue drags him up onto the Dance Floor and they 'dance'.  Sue says to him, "You don't dance too bad for a guy who can't dance."  Rooney replies: "And you don't sweat too much for a fat chick."  Sue hauls off and drives him right over our table.  When he recovers.........

 

[Haggis]

seven most feared words in the army:
  "I'm from Ottawa, I'm here to help."

I occasionally use that in my signature block.  Nobody believes me.