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THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK

Gunner

Army.ca Veteran
Reaction score
11
Points
430
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary. .
39. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.
 
Here's a couple my buddy and I thought up while on Exercise.

Works whenever you're getting jacked up.

1. "That's your opinion, <insert rank>"
2. "That's what you think."
 
So many of those are so true Gunner.. especially #1.
 
42.If their is time to lean, their is time to clean, now get in that kitchen and stop ya bitchin

oh yea, i work at a restaurnt. my boss is alway stelling us what to do, and doing nothing himself...
 
43. Get your head out of your ass and take your nose out of his.
44. Sorry, that's above my pay grade.
 
45. RTFM
46. Yes I know in your world that would make sense... but this is the real world
 
47. Have an issue? Here's a tissue.
48. CONGRATULATIONS, you know your right from left! Here's a tissue, there's a corner, reward yourself.
49. Would you like a cookie, or a bluddy medal?
50. I just recently found out what planet you're on, and it's called "MyMommySewsOnMyBadgesCauseI'mALittlePansy".
 
51. That was really really stupid infact we should guntape you to a tree and let the squirrels throw rocks at you....thought and muttered during a 40 minute class in which i had to teach half a drill PO and these kids would get the concept of dont turn in ranks.
 
Does your stream of consciousness have any fish in it?
  Ah! I see the memo fairy has visited us again.
  I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
  How about never? Is never good for you?
  I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public
  I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
  I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
  I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
  I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
  It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
  I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.
  I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
  You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
  I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
  I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
  I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
  The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
  Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
  I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
  It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
  Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
  No, my powers can never be used for good.
  You sound reasonable. Time to up the medication.
  Who me? I just wander from room to room
  And your crybaby, whiney-butt opinion would be?
  Do I look like a people person?
  This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
  I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
  You! Off my planet!
  Does your train of thought have a caboose?
  Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  I am a PBS mind in an MTV world.
  Allow me to introduce my selves.
  Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
  Well, your day is a total waste of makeup.
  Not all managers are annoying. Some are dead.
  I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
  A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
  Stress is when you wake up screaming, and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
  Can I trade this job for what's behind door Number 1?
  Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
  Nice cologne. Must you marinate in it?
  Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done
  How do I set a laser printer on "stun"?
  I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.
  If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
 
55.Want a medal or a chest to pin it on
56.You got to slow down on the stupid cookies,your heads gettin fat
57.fu@k it,I'm on salary
 
59. Want to flip ranks for it? Oh look....I win again!  (Ensure you are a higher rank...usually done by Sgts and above)

;D

Regards
 
When ya think of saying all those wonderful thing ...think of this poor basstard ;D


 
Franko said:
59. Want to flip ranks for it? Oh look....I win again!   (Ensure you are a higher rank...usually done by Sgts and above)

;D

Regards
We do something like that at Cadets...
But we call it "Rock Paper Rank"   ;D

I also have these phrases on teshirts...

"I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message."
"Don't tell me to go to hell, I just got back!"
"Warning: May contain scenes of apathy, bitterness and rebeliousness."
 
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