daftandbarmy
Army.ca Dinosaur
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Scary, and rings quite true it would seem, but this is a British article and couldn't possibly apply to the Liberals, right? 
If I Were a Marxist
If I were a Marxist, my mission would be to infiltrate and transform the very fabric of Great Britain, sowing seeds of discontent and radical ideology aimed at dismantling Capitalism and replacing it with a collectivist mindset. I would wield psychological tactics to instil self-doubt and guilt about personal achievements, reinforcing the toxic belief that success comes at the expense of others.
Education would become a breeding ground for revolutionary thought. Schools and universities would teach that the white, male, capitalist class is inherently imperialist and oppressive. Using Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals, I would empower students via Marxist lecturer drones to organise, mobilise, and challenge authority. Everything would become fluid and questionable, even matters of the obvious like gender and border. Families and faith would be derided; toppling statues would be celebrated, while pronouns would serve as tools of division, encouraging the youth to loathe their own history and thereby themselves. Historical agency would fast be compromised if citizens could praise any culture worldwide, except for Western culture, while also being unable to assign blame to any culture other than Western culture.
In the workplace, relentless unionisation would be my battle cry. I would nurture a sense of victimhood, positioning workers against management while promoting envy and resentment over individual merit. Diversity quotas would dilute corporate power, ensuring that envy triumphs over ambition. I would invent tribunals that almost always find in favour of workers. I would squeeze employers by creating endless red tape and an army of stickybeak state inspectors with clipboards to enforce it. I would invent ‘corporate social responsibility’ and force capitalist firms to offer free money to Marxist charities and causes via guilt trips under the threatening cloud of cancellation.
I would deploy Critical Theory to dismantle established norms, framing every interaction as fuelled by power dynamics. I would equate beauty and charm with ugliness and obesity. Media outlets would become echo chambers for portraying societal structures as unjust, reinforcing identity politics as the new ideological battleground. I would coopt national charities by planting placers and convert them from their core task of conservation into agents of radical change.
Popular culture and social media would glorify revolutionary transformation while deriding tradition. Influencers would amplify the narrative of victimhood, making revolutionary ideals aspirational. I would dominate the national broadcaster and take over the news output, employing fellow travellers as the key presenters and programme makers, making celebrities out of parrots and knaves, ensuring even football commentators blamed football teams’ failures on being too ‘conservative’ or not sufficiently ‘progressive’.
I would tax landowners and force farmers off their land via price and paperwork, celebrating ‘rewilding’ at the expense of food security in the name of a ‘climate emergency.’ The landed gentry would find their pastimes attacked, while fast-reproducing vermin like crows and gulls would be hailed as ‘protected species’ to sow chaos on moors and country (in particular, royal) estates. I would put licenses out of reach to disarm those rural folk of a more independent mindset who happen to require shotguns for their work. I would promote veganism and vegetarianism to impoverish farmers and make national parks of those hills once scattered with cattle.
Mass immigration would be my weapon, presented as a solution to economic woes while destabilising cultural cohesion. I would dilute national identity, branding any dissent as racism or ‘far-right’ terrorism, encouraging students to confront street protesters while masquerading as ‘anti-fascists’ or ‘anti-capitalists.’ Free speech would be curtailed, and new legislation would silence dissent.
An expanding state would be my goal, bloating public services like the NHS into worshipped idols – urging other public sector agencies to become similar, bottomless pits.
Citizens would soon become dependents, lulled by promises of “free services” while drowning in state debt. Transport, energy and utilities would be nationalised. I would seek to control energy by nationalising green fuel, promoting electric vehicles through punitive road tax for petrol and diesel vehicles while choking off oil companies that have so fuelled Capitalism’s success. All immovable problems I would solve with new committees, inquiries and by the creation of yet more quangos staffed by Marxist cronies.
Global governance would replace national sovereignty, with international cooperation positioned as paramount. To quell dissent, remote work would become the norm, and social credit systems would well keep the polloi in line. Technology would serve as a tool for surveillance, creating a populace well-monitored under the guise of social welfare. As the multipolar world becomes technopolar and government power erodes, I would co-opt the large tech firms and ensure that they maintained Silicon Valley’s penchant for deleterious wokeness.
Wealth redistribution would be framed as fairness; the wealthy would be vilified while higher taxes for the successful became celebrated. Public welfare programmes would perpetuate dependency, crippling self-sufficiency. Billionaires would be scorned and state workers lauded, income inequality ever highlighted. Property and unearned income would be taxed to the hilt.
I would stoke divisions – between rich and poor, native-born and immigrant, public sector and private sector – fuelling chaos and conflict. Grassroots movements would demand radical change, ensuring that trust in established institutions erodes.
Ultimately, my aim would be to craft a society where personal ambition is crushed beneath collective ideology and state dependence – marshalled by real-time tech. I would cultivate a landscape where the state reigns supreme, relegating individual dreams to fantasy and plunging society into a narrative of perpetual struggle for state sustenance.
Thanks be to Reason and God, I am no Marxist. I happen to be an Englishman, a Brit, and free – one of those stubborn buggers that the world knows all too well from their history books not to provoke. Being on the end of a Briton’s smile is always preferable to his pitchfork or bayonet.
If I Were a Marxist COUNTRY SQUIRE MAGAZINE
If I Were a Marxist
If I were a Marxist, my mission would be to infiltrate and transform the very fabric of Great Britain, sowing seeds of discontent and radical ideology aimed at dismantling Capitalism and replacing it with a collectivist mindset. I would wield psychological tactics to instil self-doubt and guilt about personal achievements, reinforcing the toxic belief that success comes at the expense of others.
Education would become a breeding ground for revolutionary thought. Schools and universities would teach that the white, male, capitalist class is inherently imperialist and oppressive. Using Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals, I would empower students via Marxist lecturer drones to organise, mobilise, and challenge authority. Everything would become fluid and questionable, even matters of the obvious like gender and border. Families and faith would be derided; toppling statues would be celebrated, while pronouns would serve as tools of division, encouraging the youth to loathe their own history and thereby themselves. Historical agency would fast be compromised if citizens could praise any culture worldwide, except for Western culture, while also being unable to assign blame to any culture other than Western culture.
In the workplace, relentless unionisation would be my battle cry. I would nurture a sense of victimhood, positioning workers against management while promoting envy and resentment over individual merit. Diversity quotas would dilute corporate power, ensuring that envy triumphs over ambition. I would invent tribunals that almost always find in favour of workers. I would squeeze employers by creating endless red tape and an army of stickybeak state inspectors with clipboards to enforce it. I would invent ‘corporate social responsibility’ and force capitalist firms to offer free money to Marxist charities and causes via guilt trips under the threatening cloud of cancellation.
I would deploy Critical Theory to dismantle established norms, framing every interaction as fuelled by power dynamics. I would equate beauty and charm with ugliness and obesity. Media outlets would become echo chambers for portraying societal structures as unjust, reinforcing identity politics as the new ideological battleground. I would coopt national charities by planting placers and convert them from their core task of conservation into agents of radical change.
Popular culture and social media would glorify revolutionary transformation while deriding tradition. Influencers would amplify the narrative of victimhood, making revolutionary ideals aspirational. I would dominate the national broadcaster and take over the news output, employing fellow travellers as the key presenters and programme makers, making celebrities out of parrots and knaves, ensuring even football commentators blamed football teams’ failures on being too ‘conservative’ or not sufficiently ‘progressive’.
I would tax landowners and force farmers off their land via price and paperwork, celebrating ‘rewilding’ at the expense of food security in the name of a ‘climate emergency.’ The landed gentry would find their pastimes attacked, while fast-reproducing vermin like crows and gulls would be hailed as ‘protected species’ to sow chaos on moors and country (in particular, royal) estates. I would put licenses out of reach to disarm those rural folk of a more independent mindset who happen to require shotguns for their work. I would promote veganism and vegetarianism to impoverish farmers and make national parks of those hills once scattered with cattle.
Mass immigration would be my weapon, presented as a solution to economic woes while destabilising cultural cohesion. I would dilute national identity, branding any dissent as racism or ‘far-right’ terrorism, encouraging students to confront street protesters while masquerading as ‘anti-fascists’ or ‘anti-capitalists.’ Free speech would be curtailed, and new legislation would silence dissent.
An expanding state would be my goal, bloating public services like the NHS into worshipped idols – urging other public sector agencies to become similar, bottomless pits.
Citizens would soon become dependents, lulled by promises of “free services” while drowning in state debt. Transport, energy and utilities would be nationalised. I would seek to control energy by nationalising green fuel, promoting electric vehicles through punitive road tax for petrol and diesel vehicles while choking off oil companies that have so fuelled Capitalism’s success. All immovable problems I would solve with new committees, inquiries and by the creation of yet more quangos staffed by Marxist cronies.
Global governance would replace national sovereignty, with international cooperation positioned as paramount. To quell dissent, remote work would become the norm, and social credit systems would well keep the polloi in line. Technology would serve as a tool for surveillance, creating a populace well-monitored under the guise of social welfare. As the multipolar world becomes technopolar and government power erodes, I would co-opt the large tech firms and ensure that they maintained Silicon Valley’s penchant for deleterious wokeness.
Wealth redistribution would be framed as fairness; the wealthy would be vilified while higher taxes for the successful became celebrated. Public welfare programmes would perpetuate dependency, crippling self-sufficiency. Billionaires would be scorned and state workers lauded, income inequality ever highlighted. Property and unearned income would be taxed to the hilt.
I would stoke divisions – between rich and poor, native-born and immigrant, public sector and private sector – fuelling chaos and conflict. Grassroots movements would demand radical change, ensuring that trust in established institutions erodes.
Ultimately, my aim would be to craft a society where personal ambition is crushed beneath collective ideology and state dependence – marshalled by real-time tech. I would cultivate a landscape where the state reigns supreme, relegating individual dreams to fantasy and plunging society into a narrative of perpetual struggle for state sustenance.
If I Were a Marxist COUNTRY SQUIRE MAGAZINE
