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Boyfriend joining the military, what should I expect?

Rookie1

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My boyfriend of a year and a half is right now in the recruiting process of joining the military full time. I know I am probably thinking very far ahead, but I am curious on what I should expect for him and our relationship and how the army will affect us. He is hoping to get into Infantry. We want to get married before he goes to a base after basic training so we can live together. If you all don't mind, I have some questions I'd love to be answered, if possible. I'd also love to hear personal stories if you have any. Thank you all so much. :)

1. After basic, how long is it until he is moved onto the next base?
3. Any idea on how often/how long/where he would get deployed to?
4. When will he be able to leave the military to instead go to school, apply for police (which is what he truly wants to do)?

Again, thanks very much, if you need anymore information just let me know.
For those currently serving or hoping to be serving, thank you for what you do.
 

mariomike

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Rookie1 said:
When will he be able to leave the military to instead go to school, apply for police (which is what he truly wants to do)?

"Variable Initial Engagement Contract
When Regular Force members first join the Canadian Forces they sign an initial contract, which is called the Variable Initial Engagement (VIE).
This contract can range in length from three to nine years not including subsidized training or education. The length varies depending on the occupation, the needs of each occupation, and the
training time that is required for that occupation."
From "Canadian Forces 101 for civilians" page 94
http://www.familyforce.ca/sites/NMFC/EN/Documents/CF-101%20for%20Civilians%20EN.pdf

VARIABLE INITIAL ENGAGEMENT LENGTHS BY OCCUPATION
http://army.ca/wiki/index.php/MOSID_and_MOC
 

Eye In The Sky

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Rookie1 said:
My boyfriend of a year and a half is right now in the recruiting process of joining the military full time. I know I am probably thinking very far ahead, but I am curious on what I should expect for him and our relationship and how the army will affect us. He is hoping to get into Infantry. We want to get married before he goes to a base after basic training so we can live together. If you all don't mind, I have some questions I'd love to be answered, if possible. I'd also love to hear personal stories if you have any. Thank you all so much. :)

1. After basic, how long is it until he is moved onto the next base?  Right away usually.  If he has to wait for his next course the waiting is usually done where the training will be done, which may or may not be where he will be posted to after training is complete

3. Any idea on how often/how long/where he would get deployed to? Impossible to predict.  Expect times away for field exercise, courses regardless of deployments outside Canada.

4. When will he be able to leave the military to instead go to school, apply for police (which is what he truly wants to do)?  I believe the Inf VIE is 3 years right now.

 

liams mom

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Long time army wife here. We started dating when he was a new private. Our relationship was long distance for many years until we married. Those years were great since I was finishing school and he was happy doing such a cool job. Yes, I missed him, but it wasn't awful.

Fast forward a bit to those years when we had a young son, I was working full time, coping with some health issues and he was deployed or training for deployment constantly. Those were rocky years. I was often lonesome or over whelmed but I made amazing friends in Petawawa and we got through it by supporting each other.

Fast forward again and my husband is still serving. Our son is 13. We have had one recent deployment to Afganistan, but it was easier with an older child, and with a posting to a smaller community, closer to home. We are so happy here and things are wonderful.

To answer your questions...
1. How long to posting will depend on what trade he has chosen. My DH was quickly posted but I have heard of people awaiting training being a long time before that first posting because it took awhile to get loaded on the courses needed and awhile to complete them. Postings sometimes come fast and furious, sometimes not at all. We were in Petawawa for over 10 years, when first married. Then Meaford, Petawawa, Meaford in the last 6 years.

2. Deployments will depend on the Canadian government and no one can look into the future. In 23 years DH had 5 deployments of 6 to 9 months long each. Sometimes it's the training, courses, exercices etc. that really keep your hubby away. For example last year my DH was overseas 5 times on exercice planning trips and then on exercice for a month. However, this year he has been home almost every night.

Sorry, can't answer your last question. Consider joining the Canadian Military wives web forums. They have lots of good info.

Wishing you much happiness. Being an army wife is frustrating and rewarding, exhausting and wonderful. Sometimes you will have to do it all, all on your own and you will beg your friends for help. Other times it is smooth sailing and you have your soldier home so much you start to wish he was being sent away!
 

Ayrsayle

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Rookie1 said:
1. After basic, how long is it until he is moved onto the next base?
3. Any idea on how often/how long/where he would get deployed to?
4. When will he be able to leave the military to instead go to school, apply for police (which is what he truly wants to do)?

Can only really speak to the infantry trade, but I'll leave the comments generic enough for someone else to clarify if a different trade comes up.

1.  After completing basic, he can expect to be moved to the next training base for his specific trade training ( Again, usually the new private will be moved there without having a cost move paid for by the military - usually that is reserved for the completion of training.  There are some exceptions, but they are not the norm)
2. Typically a new private (Infantry) will be sent to one of the 9 battalions (Edmonton, Shilo, Gagetown, Petawawa, or Quebec) - again, usually they will remain there for their initial engagement (3 years) though the possibility exists to be moved on a tasking elsewhere.
3. Your boyfriend will have the option to release (usually a 6 month process) or finish out his contract (3 years). As with most jobs however, it is not usually in an individual's best interest to walk away before completing his terms of service (contract). He is perfectly free to take classes for his development while a member or afterward.  As to when it is the most beneficial, that's something you and he should be talking about.

I'd recommend taking a few minutes to look into what exactly the training entails and it's realities - especially for married couples.  As far as the military is concerned, if you have been living together for longer then a year, or less if you have a child already you are already considered common law married - once you go declare it to the military at least.
 

Rookie1

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Thank you all for your knowledge, it's helped me understand what the process will be like much more. I do have another question I hope someone will be able to answer clearly, as I've been looking around on the site and it just seems very unclear to me!

After the basic training, what happens? Does he have to take more training courses? If so, how long are they? Will I be able to live in housing with him because of marriage?

Again thanks so much for your help and support!
 

flatlander13

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After basic, he will have trade specific courses to do (and as others have stated, he will have various training courses and exercises throughout his career). What trade is your other half doing? Courses are different for each trade after basic, so maybe someone can speak more specifically to the length of the required courses. From my understanding, in most cases, he will live in barracks for any training courses less than 6 months in length and therefore you won't be able to live in quarters with him.
 

Ayrsayle

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Rookie1 said:
Thank you all for your knowledge, it's helped me understand what the process will be like much more. I do have another question I hope someone will be able to answer clearly, as I've been looking around on the site and it just seems very unclear to me!

After the basic training, what happens? Does he have to take more training courses? If so, how long are they? Will I be able to live in housing with him because of marriage?

Again thanks so much for your help and support!

IF he is going in for the infantry, usually they have numbers of who is going to which regiment before the end of Basic (though last minute changes do happen) and he'll be sent to one of the "regional" training centers, such as Wainwright if he is slotted for PPCLI.  He'll do more training for trade specific skills - and it is highly unlikely you will be able to live with him during this time as he will be living in quarters either awaiting training or on his courses.  They've recently changed around some of the infmn courses - I'll find out the length when I have access to a work computer.

Unless there is a particularly unique reason, he is unlikely receive a cost move (moving you to be with him on the military dime) until the completion of his training and he arrives at his regiment (first posting as a new private).  Some families have moved to be together, but usually the time they were able to be together did not make the costs of doing so worthwhile.
 

JorgSlice

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Especially if going PPCLI expect him to become the God of Gods under the sheets  ;D
 

greends

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I'm going through this right now as my SO is currently posted in Borden and will be finishing course in April. We met here in Borden and now that his course if almost over, he wants me to follow him on his next posting.

I've done alot of ground work in looking up PMQ info and requirements for a "single" member of the reg force when applying for housing but of course CFHA won't give me any real info because we aren't married. He's trying to get what info he can from his commanding officers and they're all telling him to "put a ring on it" to get the process moving faster. Neither one of us are comfortable with that idea so that is a most definite no but my question is;

Are there any more sites like this or Canadian Military Wives (I've registered and tried to log in but it refuses me every time so I kind of gave up with that one) that can outline the posting/moving process for unmarried reg force with steady partners (non common-law)?

I plan on filling out his Brookfield moving form for him so he can get the info I need to know!

Thanks in advance! 



And OP this is what I know,

1. After basic, how long is it until he is moved onto the next base?
- Typically its right away. My SO was stationed on course to Borden as soon as his BMQ ended. He had to wait over a year for his course to start though.

3. Any idea on how often/how long/where he would get deployed to?
- Anywhere. Literally Anywhere.
 

PMedMoe

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greends said:
Are there any more sites like this or Canadian Military Wives (I've registered and tried to log in but it refuses me every time so I kind of gave up with that one) that can outline the posting/moving process for unmarried reg force with steady partners (non common-law)?

There is no process for moving Reg F personnel with "steady partners".  If you are not married or common-law, he will be posted as single and he (or you and he together) will have to cover your costs.

greends said:
I plan on filling out his Brookfield moving form for him so he can get the info I need to know!

Seriously?
 

greends

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PMedMoe said:
Seriously?

Yes. He asked me to so that he could make sure not to miss anything during his planning session.

We are already saving up to move my stuff because we know they won't pay for ME to move with him  BUT I was just wondering what other measures he could do to better secure housing. (on OR off base, either way doesn't bother us)
 

PMedMoe

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George Wallace said:
You do know that as a Single member living in Quarters, even the PMQs, he is not allowed to have 'long term guests', even a girlfriend, living with him.  Right?  He can not rent out space in those Quarters, either.

I think you may be wrong on that one.... 

 

vonGarvin

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greends said:
I'm going through this right now as my SO is currently posted in Borden and will be finishing course in April. We met here in Borden and now that his course if almost over, he wants me to follow him on his next posting.

I've done alot of ground work in looking up PMQ info and requirements for a "single" member of the reg force when applying for housing but of course CFHA won't give me any real info because we aren't married. He's trying to get what info he can from his commanding officers and they're all telling him to "put a ring on it" to get the process moving faster. Neither one of us are comfortable with that idea so that is a most definite no but my question is;

Are there any more sites like this or Canadian Military Wives (I've registered and tried to log in but it refuses me every time so I kind of gave up with that one) that can outline the posting/moving process for unmarried reg force with steady partners (non common-law)?

I plan on filling out his Brookfield moving form for him so he can get the info I need to know!

Thanks in advance! 



And OP this is what I know,

1. After basic, how long is it until he is moved onto the next base?
- Typically its right away. My SO was stationed on course to Borden as soon as his BMQ ended. He had to wait over a year for his course to start though.

3. Any idea on how often/how long/where he would get deployed to?
- Anywhere. Literally Anywhere.

I want to get this straight before answering:

You're ready to pick up and move across the country with him, anywhere, I suppose, but you're not comfortable marrying him? 

I'm confused because it sounds like you want the benefits of marriage, without having to actually, you know, get married.  You *could* go to a JP and get married, you know, you don't *have to* do e.g. the six month pre-marriage course that the Roman Catholic Church offers, and unlike Catholics, if you don't like the marriage, you *can* get a divorce.  You know all this, right?

Anyway, if you could clear up the confusion, it may help me answer you.

Cheers.

 

PMedMoe

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Here is the link on how PMQs are allocated (and who qualifies): http://www.forces.gc.ca/en/caf-community-support-services-housing/who-qualifies.page?
 

vonGarvin

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PMedMoe said:
Here is the link on how PMQs are allocated (and who qualifies): http://www.forces.gc.ca/en/caf-community-support-services-housing/who-qualifies.page?

And a relevant portion:

Non-Family Members

It is possible for you to share your housing unit with non-family members. However, since we do not “approve” unofficial household members, we are not required to allocate housing that is any larger than necessary based on your official household size, as indicated on your posting instructions or as indicated by your Orderly Room if your posting instructions were issued more than a year ago. We may allocate a larger house based on availability.
 

PMedMoe

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Technoviking said:
And a relevant portion:

Only to mean, you're not going to get a bigger PMQ if your "official" family size is one (the member).



 

greends

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Technoviking, I want to get married one day but not because it makes paperwork easier to fill out. We are both committed to a long term relationship ending in marriage but neither one of us feels comfortable "marrying for the military." That's all.

I should mention that we haven't lived together yet and he still resides in the shacks on base.

I am simply looking for information to give him to give US the best possible chances at a PMQ as that is the most preferable option. I am willing to move and live off base if he isn't able/capable of getting a PMQ because he can apply to move off base/out of shacks (from what I have gleaned from other Borden recruits/DND personnel I know outside of work)

Pedmoe, I've read alllll of that I was just wondering if there is anything he can do (letter of recommendations etc) to improve his chances. Thank you!
 

vonGarvin

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"Long term relationship ending in marriage"


I've often seen marriage end relationships too

;D


Anyway, I have nothing further to offer.  I wish you all the best.  :salute:
 

PMedMoe

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greends said:
I've read alllll of that I was just wondering if there is anything he can do (letter of recommendations etc) to improve his chances. Thank you!

No, there isn't.  He gets the same opportunity as anyone else.  What purpose do you think letters or recommendation would serve anyway?  That's just silly.  Anyone could write a letter saying why someone needed a PMQ.  It's not a job application.  Just my  :2c:

Keep in mind, at some bases, the PMQ list is quite long.
 
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