How to get family on board

[Marchog]

Oh man it's going to be tough to get my family on board in the very unlikely event that I actually get into the CF. I'm especially looking at signals (NCM signal operator)- unfortunately my family has a long and prestigious history of being KIA while working signals.

 

[MikeL]

Oh man it's going to be tough to get my family on board in the very unlikely event that I actually get into the CF.

Unlikely because your family does not support it? Or something else?

I'm especially looking at signals (NCM signal operator)

Or unlikely because the Sig Op trade is not around anymore?  All Army Signals NCM trades(Sig Op, LCIS, Line) merged into one trade - Army Communications Information System Specialist(ACISS)

unfortunately my family has a long and prestigious history of being KIA while working signals.

Prestigious because members of your family have been killed while serving in Signals?  As well,  just because X amount of members of your family have been killed does not mean it is destined for all family members who serve to be killed.

 

[Marchog]

Prestigious because members of your family have been killed while serving in Signals?  As well,  just X members of your family have been killed does not mean it is destined for all family members who serve to be killed.

I didn't say it made any sense. That's pretty much the point.

I consider my chances low, primarily due to a past history of migraines. I'm old enough to do what I want regardless of parents/family, so that shouldn't be an issue, it's just that it won't be a popular move. They're not exactly total granola-crunchers, but they lean that way.

Or unlikely because the Sig Op trade is not around anymore?  All Army Signals NCM trades(Sig Op, LCIS, Line) merged into one trade - Army Communications Information System Specialist(ACISS)

Ah OK, I must have been looking at obsolete info...or something. Anyway in plain English what I'm talking about is attempting to get into the reserves with the 32 Signal Regiment, though I'm also considering Armoured Reconaissance.

 

[l.viita]

I'm just curious to know how other people's parents reacted when they announced them they'd join the army (I'm mostly curious as to other girls/women's parents reaction). It stresses me a bit, though no matter what their reaction will be, it is my call. But it's always nice to know your family supports your career choice!

 

[X2012]

My mum was fine with me joining the military, she figured it out before I told her.

She disagreed with my trade choice initially and we just sat down and had a debate about it. She brought her points and I brought mine after we'd both done a little research. I convinced her it fit my skill set, interested me, and I was well qualified. A well-reasoned case and consideration for the other person's perspective can go a long way in helping your family deal with any concerns that they may have. If that doesn't work, getting some outside resources particular to their concerns may help (some real-world information from someone doing what you're hoping to do, for example). Some people need a little more time than others, especially if it seems to be coming out of left field.

They probably want what's best for you, they just may not have accurate or complete information. And they may have some valid points for you to consider as well.

 

[l.viita]

My mum was fine with me joining the military, she figured it out before I told her.

She disagreed with my trade choice initially and we just sat down and had a debate about it. She brought her points and I brought mine after we'd both done a little research. I convinced her it fit my skill set, interested me, and I was well qualified. A well-reasoned case and consideration for the other person's perspective can go a long way in helping your family deal with any concerns that they may have. If that doesn't work, getting some outside resources particular to their concerns may help (some real-world information from someone doing what you're hoping to do, for example). Some people need a little more time than others, especially if it seems to be coming out of left field.

They probably want what's best for you, they just may not have accurate or complete information. And they may have some valid points for you to consider as well.

Thank you very much for your input! I will prepare myself for the talk. I really think the Sig Op officer trade is for me, as I've studied Communications in University and love project management. I think my mom also suspects something, but being 23, it is my choice and not my parents'.

I really appreciate your tips!

 

[PuckChaser]

I really think the Sig Op officer trade is for me, as I've studied Communications in University and love project management.

Signals Officer, not Sig Op officer.

 

[BeyondTheNow]

I'm just curious to know how other people's parents reacted when they announced them they'd join the army (I'm mostly curious as to other girls/women's parents reaction). It stresses me a bit, though no matter what their reaction will be, it is my call. But it's always nice to know your family supports your career choice!

I was fortunate in that there were no negative reactions from family (that I'm aware of) when I announced my career goal and the venue I would be pursuing it in.  I had given substantial consideration to performing the same job outside of the military, but for various reasons decided the CF was the best place for me.

My brother had been a Reservist for 10+ years before releasing to move overseas, so he had a lot of information to share.  My mother also knows that he enjoyed his time in, so I don't think there were any issues about me wanting to join the military either.  Where employment has been concerned, I guess I've been lucky in that for the most part, as long as I've been happy and supporting myself/my responsibilities well, nothing has been said.

 

[l.viita]

Signals Officer, not Sig Op officer.

Yeah, sorry, I'm used to the name in of the trade in French (my mother tongue is actually French) which is Officier des transmissions. I don't have much trouble with English but I admit sometimes the name of the trades can be confusing. But, you know what I meant; Signals Officer.

 

[BYFROMSCHOOL]

I'm currently in the early stages of my application, and have been keeping it from everyone except my girlfriend and references. Decided to hold off until I'm offered a position. The most stressful part for me is that I'm also unemployed so I have little to say when visiting with friends or family. The reason I'm keeping it from people is the uncertainty of a job offer: I want to cut down on the stress of people asking me "So how's your CF application coming along?" Especially if I don't get in.

If you're nervous about "getting family on board", don't be. It's your life and your decision to join the CF. If your family loves you, they will support you. I know my father once told me how he always wanted to be a police officer, but gave up his dream to start a family. He said he wanted me to follow my dream no matter what. The day I make it in, I plan on telling him first. I know he'll be proud.

My mother on the other hand:  :crybaby:

 

[l.viita]

I know what you mean BYFROMSCHOOL. It's one less stress not to have people asking you all the time what's up with the application.

Only 2 close friends are aware of my application being processed. Though some new changes happened today: I won't join the regular force yet, but the reserve instead, and in another trade (since the lady who received me last Friday didn't do her job properly and talked to me about this trade I wasn't even qualified for -_- ). The Captain who met me this morning was surprised someone made such an error. :/

I did tell my mom I was "studying the option" of joining the reserve and she went ballistic because she heard so many stories about rapes in the reserve lately. I mean seriously? I have as much chances as everywhere else to get raped.  :facepalm: I though, that to some extente, she'd find the idea rather nice, since her father was an officer in the reserve when he was a student. Plus that would mean I could continue my management certificate and also have a good job on the side (though I already have one), with insurance and that pays half of my tuition fees. :/

Oh well, I'll do it with or without her support, even if it would be nicer to have her support. Or else friends will replace my family once I'll do my swearing in.

 

[PuckChaser]

I did tell my mom I was "studying the option" of joining the reserve and she went ballistic because she heard so many stories about rapes in the reserve lately.

Not sure what news your mom is reading, but its right out to lunch. There's been nothing of that sort in Canadian media.

 

[MikeL]

Not sure what news your mom is reading, but its right out to lunch. There's been nothing of that sort in Canadian media.

Maybe she is friend's with lubi125's parents or found these threads.
http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/109012.0
http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/109707/post-1216499.html#msg1216499

 

[l.viita]

Haha don't get me wrong Skeletor I'm not worried about getting raped! I just have no clue why they say that. They mentionned something about a documentary that aired this week-end on Radio-Canada, but then again, why would Radio-Canada bitch about the CF if it's mandate is to promote the canadian culture and all?  ???

I think it's mostly those rumors people hear or those kind of stories people make in their heads about the CF. Sure, it's not an easy job, sure, it might be more dangerous than flipping burgers at McDonald, but it's a job, a good job and with a valuable cause (more than serving mcDiabetes).

Sorry for the sarcasm, but really, I have many friends in the army, and they never had any trouble of any sort as far as I know. I just hope the Caporal will be able to give me some stuff to reassure my parents. I'm sure he will be able to help.

 

[mariomike]

I just hope the Caporal will be able to give me some stuff to reassure my parents. I'm sure he will be able to help.

This may also help.

"There are many different reasons why your loved one may want to join the Canadian Forces."
http://www.forces.ca/en/parents/home-133

 

[l.viita]

This may also help.

"There are many different reasons why your loved one may want to join the Canadian Forces."
http://www.forces.ca/en/parents/home-133

Thanks!

So my mother called the Caporal there. I had given him a call first asking if it was okay for me to give his number so my mother could be a bit reassured. He was really nice about it, and well, like I expected, said it's a common thing that happen and it's part of his job. Rest assured, it did help! Though she still doesn't understand why I want to do it (well, she understands part of the reasons), at least she knows I'm not selling my soul to the devil  ;D

Anyway, I explained to her again why I wanted to do it and how it would give me another experience and new perspective on work. She just doesn't like the idea of me being in a uniform, but otherwise she did say she'd respect my decisions anyway.

As of my dad, well he just took some time to think about it and he did admit it could be a nice experience to have. He just thought I should wait off to see if I have enough time to give to the reserve, but that's all.

Maybe something helped too: one of my references, a scout leader from when I was younger, said he served 20 years in the reserve in Quebec City (where I applied). They knew him well, so I guess it made them rethink their opinion about the Forces.


I think it's just the initial shock that makes them really upset. With reason and more informations (mostly talking to a human being), they will accept your decision.

Thanks for all the advices, it was very much appreciated! 

 

[bcperson]

Well here is my experience....told hubby I was looking at a clerk job....everything was peachy, realized I MAY not like the clerk job....he said FINE join the infantry and get your head blown off... opinions can be flexible...

 

[Duc Viet]

Well here is my experience....told hubby I was looking at a clerk job....everything was peachy, realized I MAY not like the clerk job....he said FINE join the infantry and get your head blown off... opinions can be flexible...

Judging from that "FINE", I guess he was only being a bit cranky about your....."inconsistent" career choices. Wait for a few days for him to cool down and then have an open discussion with your husband about joining CF. Explore your options first, which trade; Reserves or Regulars (this will greatly impact your family life).
On the website, they have a whole section to promote women in CF: http://www.forces.ca/en/page/women-92, I hope you can find more solid info from there.

Ps: I'm new to this forums and still learning, if I happen to said anything wrong, I hope everyone can forgive and help me to improve 

 

[bcperson]

no it is fine, he was mad because he sees the clerk job as "safe" and doesn't want his itty bitty wifey all blown up  :facepalm:.

 

[krimynal]

no it is fine, he was mad because he sees the clerk job as "safe" and doesn't want his itty bitty wifey all blown up  :facepalm:.

something that did help me with bringing everyone on board ( especially my Girlfriend ) was to bring her with me to the recruiting center , so if she had any questions or whatever , if she had some issue with some part of the job , etc. etc. etc.

they would be able to answer her , and from the recruiter its always better then the hubby or wiffey