How to get family on board

[Treemoss]

I first applied when I was 17, but had to back out of it because my mom thought the military was a huge conspiracy and that I would be a test subject for drugs and stuff... also because she would've tossed me out of the house. I ended up applying again 2 years later, but I backed out of it because I didn't get accepted for the paramedic program. After taking a pre-health course and getting accepted into the program, I applied once again when I was 20........ but got shut down because of my parents and my driver's license. Now almost 3 and a half years later I have applied again despite already working as a paramedic.


My family was against it for the longest time, but I as we get older our parents trust us a little more with the decisions we make in life. I had a sit down with my mom and we talked about it. I  told her I didn't want to spend the next 3 years finding a job, then bending over backwards for the next 10 years trying for a full-time position.. and then suddenly I'm 40 wondering what I've done with myself. It's not the life I want right now. I want to go places and see the world and know I'm making a difference here at home and abroad. And, most of all, start a new page in our family's history.

She was very humbled, after years of hostility toward the very thought. She realized that I was extremely passionate about this. She told me that she was afraid to lose one of her boys, and all I told her was "I know, and you got the right to be". We ended our conversation with her giving me a hug of approval.


If it's something you feel you want to do and pursue, no one can really stop you, but just remember your family is important too.

 

[Alderson]

I have my application in for the Regular force.
My mom is completely against me joining the Military because as she says I'm "Signing up to die" and doesn't understand about all the great career opportunities and where the Military can take me in life.

I've explained to both my parents about why I want to join and do something with my life, but they still don't understand.

Also, one of my friends who is a Reservist is telling me I'm basically (Excuse my French) F'ing my life up by going Regular Force.

How should I deal with this discouragement? And/Or do any of you have similar experiences that could help both my parents and friends understand why I'm trying to join the Military?

 

[DAA]

I have my application in for the Regular force.
My mom is completely against me joining the Military because as she says I'm "Signing up to die" and doesn't understand about all the great career opportunities and where the Military can take me in life.

I've explained to both my parents about why I want to join and do something with my life, but they still don't understand.

Also, one of my friends who is a Reservist is telling me I'm basically (Excuse my French) F'ing my life up by going Regular Force.

How should I deal with this discouragement? And/Or do any of you have similar experiences that could help both my parents and friends understand why I'm trying to join the Military?

Maybe show them this ----->  http://www.forces.ca/en/page/forfamilies-151

 

[Alderson]

Appreciate it, this will definitely help with the parent side of things.

Do you have anything for my friends though, or should I just tell them to live their own life?

 

[George Wallace]

I have my application in for the Regular force.
My mom is completely against me joining the Military because as she says I'm "Signing up to die" and doesn't understand about all the great career opportunities and where the Military can take me in life.

You can ask your mom if she is against you riding city transit buses?  You can die on one of them as well.  Photos of bus hit by Via Rail train killing six.

 

[Alderson]

You can ask your mom if she is against you riding city transit buses?  You can die on one of them as well.  Photos of bus hit by Via Rail train killing six.

Believe me, I've explained to her multiple times that there's a risk of injury/death in any job/environment

 

[tomgoetz]

just tell them to live their own life?

That's what I would do

 

[petercushing]

A lot of people will try and discourage you and give you the old "blood for oil" stuff. Or killing innocent civilians. It's nonsense.
Or personally in my case tell me to go to Alberta to work or another job. It's better to let it go in one ear and out the other in some regards.
Also I heard only 1 in 40 people may die in combat which is a 2.5% chance. You have a higher chance of dying from an accident injury(1 in 36) or heart disease (1 in 5) or cancer(1 in 7). And also on the blood for oil stuff this isn't the US Army for one thing and even then I don't believe in the conspiracy theory of a government just starting a war for oil.

Also I hate it when some people say "you are going to die fighting for a corrupt government"

 

[mercius]

My Mom was against the idea of me joining the military at first, but today I took the oath and I report to BMOQ on this weekend. And my mom was was of the first people to congratulate me and tell me how proud she is. It didn't come quickly, but I sat her down and I told her exactly why I wanted to join - all the reasons I felt joining the military was right for me, and didn't leave anything out. I also told her as much as I could about the nature of the job I'd be signing up for so she could see past the "My baby is going to go to war and die!" It took a long time, but once she saw that I wasn't doing this because I wanted to play Call of Duty Cosplay, she became one of my biggest supporters.

Good Luck my friend.

 

[Eye In The Sky]

Sometimes, all you can do is smile, nod, and then go do what you want to do.  :2c:

 

[PMedMoe]

Sometimes, all you can do is smile, nod, and then go do what you want to do.  :2c:

:goodpost:

Yep.  Family is one thing and I, personally, would prefer they were on board with any decision I made.  But them not agreeing with me, wouldn't change my mind if it was made up.

Other people?  I don't need to justify my life to them.

 

[GnyHwy]

I have my application in for the Regular force.
My mom is completely against me joining the Military because as she says I'm "Signing up to die" and doesn't understand about all the great career opportunities and where the Military can take me in life.

I've explained to both my parents about why I want to join and do something with my life, but they still don't understand.

Also, one of my friends who is a Reservist is telling me I'm basically (Excuse my French) F'ing my life up by going Regular Force.

How should I deal with this discouragement? And/Or do any of you have similar experiences that could help both my parents and friends understand why I'm trying to join the Military?

If your friends are actually friends they will give you grief, followed by support once you show them you are serious.  If they don't give you support, tell them to STFU, move on and find some real friends.

For you Mom, tread lightly... Go get a bottle of whiskey and a cigar.  Take a swig and a puff and tell her... "I'm a grown *** man and I'll keep in touch.  Love ya lots!!!"

 

[petercushing]

If your friends are actually friends they will give you grief, followed by support once you show them you are serious.  If they don't give you support, tell them to STFU, move on and find some real friends.

For you Mom, tread lightly... Go get a bottle of whiskey and a cigar.  Take a swig and a puff and tell her... "I'm a grown *** man and I'll keep in touch.  Love ya lots!!!"

LOL pretty much how I told my parents haha.

 

[Treemoss]

Statistically, you have a high chance of getting hit by a car then getting shot in the military right now. Did the math, cross-checked some numbers on the web.. bam.

 

[Sarah_H]

I think the main issue most people have is understanding what the Canadian Forces are. Most of my friends, when I told them I wanted to apply for the CF, assumed it would be how the movies portray the American military. Everyone is in infantry, on the front lines and dies. "No, that's just what Hollywood wants you to think. It's actually more like this..." Once I explained everything, and how I want to get into a trade like Avionics, then they seemed to be more understanding of my choice. And when I went onto explain all the benefits of joining the CF they began to really support my decision.

Luckily my parents were supportive from day 1. I don't know why this surprised me, considering a lot of my family has been or is currently serving in the CF. I guess I assumed they wouldn't support me because they didn't think I could do it. But they are behind me 100% and that couldn't make me happier.

 

[Jarnhamar]

Statistically, you have a high chance of getting hit by a car then getting shot in the military right now. Did the math, cross-checked some numbers on the web.. bam.

Except when you get hit by a car you can sue for millions and if you get shot in the military you could spend years fighting for a couple of thousand

 

[burkus2]

My mom has never been supportive of my decision to join the CF but my dad and stepdad have had nothing but support for me. My mom is so old school.. She thinks that I'm going to be shipped off to 'Iraq and get shot by Pakis...' pardon the terms but that's her words. To her, the army is a death wish...
I could care less. I am proud to tell people I am a reservist and if they don't have support for me then they don't understand what reservists do. I haven't started basic yet but I am so excited, I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas.
I failed my PT once, when it was the EXPRES test on the push ups and I was so discouraged. No support from anyone mainly because I didn't tell anyone. Passed the PT the second time when they switched to the FORCE test. Much easier for me at least. I felt like a million bucks when I passed and still no support from mom.

I'm just learning to seek out people that will be there for me and support me and educate the people that aren't so supportive and let them know what it is I am doing. My mom just doesn't understand that this is a JOB and a lifestyle... It's no different from when I worked at McDonald's and I changed my lifestyle to accommodate it.

I really appreciate all these forums and the support from others. You've all got some really good advice!!

 

[Gunshark]

Does anyone have parents who are both very firmly against the military decision and always will be? How did you overcome this strong family disagreement?

 

[ShadyBrah]

For myself, it was rather easy. Both of my parents were against it at first, but once I explained the whole picture they understand better. Mom still isn't 100% on board though. (I'll be taking her grandson away from her!

Not sure about your parents, but mine really had no idea on what the military offered. I explained to them the benefits, the chance for career progression, and that the experience I will leave with is more than just shooting guns and blowing things up. (I also lied a bit, telling them I'd for sure be posted to a base close to home )

In the end it's your decision, and I hope your family understands and supports it!

Good luck!

 

[wylertommy]

Are there any suggestions on what I can say to my parents to persuade them to let me join the reserves? The main problem is that they think I am going to be called to war as soon as i join up.

Help? Please?!

What is your reason to join the reserves?  If you can answer that and explain it in a passionate way to them then I believe they would let you do it.  Otherwise you would have to end up making a decision whether to follow your goal or your parent's opinion.  Are your parents strongly against it?  Coz if not, then you have nothing to worry about.  Usually they just need to hear from you that you know what you are getting into and that you can handle it. Best of luck mate!